The Firefly Gang Christmas celebration thread by BlackoutNights

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

The Firefly Gang Christmas celebration thread

POSTED BY: BLACKOUTNIGHTS
UPDATED: Saturday, December 25, 2004 22:14
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004 7:25 AM

*Dismounting his trusty steed, the outlaw Blackout Nights approaches the old saloon at the edge of the ghost town. Inside, people are happily singing carols. Blackout Nights pushes through the swinging doors*

"What's this 'ere foul mouthed singin'?" *SPIT! splat*

"Ewwwww, you missed the spittoon!" says a lad with an English accent.

*Blackout Nights draws his six-shooter and fires at the young lad who spoke out of turn. The lad stumbles beside the lighted Christmas tree holding his knee*

"OWWWW! What'd you do that for?"

"Cuz' I felt like it. Now...let's just get one thing 'ere straight. Them's there presents under'n that ther tree 'r now mine. Stands aside, young'uns."

*Blackout Nights sits down and unwraps one of the gifts. It's a Barbie Doll.*

"Whut kinda' gift is this?"

*A small English speaking girl walks up to him.*

"Pardon me, sir. But if you don't want that doll, I'd gladly take it."

*Blackout Nights squints, considering her request.*

"This 'ere ain't no kinda gift fer a young lassie, like'n yerself. Lemme give ya somethin' truly worthwhile."

*Blackout Nights reaches into his pocket and pulls out a loft leather bag. He reaches in, and pulls out a wad of tobacco.*

"Now, normly aye'd never do this kinda thing. But see'n 'ere 'ow it is Christmas, I'd be glad to give ya this 'ere chew'."

*He gives it to the little girl. She puts it in her mouth and grimaces.*

"'At a gal. Now, who'n here wants some more'n gifts?"

"Art is Ego..."-Greg Dulli

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004 8:22 AM

UNCHARTEDOUTLAW

*The Uncharted Outlaw, Arch Stanton, walks in through the swinging doors and takes in the warmth of the room, the singing (albeit slightly off key), and the nicely lit tree (with candles, the old Victorian way).*

"Mmmm, beats bein' out in the black this time 'a year."

*UO walks over and gets a nip of egg nog (with "spice") from the bar before wanderin' over to the tree.*

"Hrm, lessee here..."

*UO picks up the discarded 26th century Barbie and hands it to a girl standing next to an ugly spat of chaw.*

"Better watch out fer that, kiddo. Ma wouldn't want your footsies all covered in that slop."

*Girl prances away...she's a girl and young, she has to prance.* *UO picks up a gift remarkably addressed to him...who knew he'd be here?*

**RIP TEAR THRASH...never was good at unwrapping gifts. Even worse at wrapping.*

Ooooooooooooh! Shiny! Two spare compression coils and a gift certificate for a new stabilizer over at Slim's Used Craft!

-Taylor

The Uncharted Outlaw!
Captain of Prosperity (99-K64)

See my Site:
http://www.geocities.com/norcalriviera
See my Firefly Store: http://www.cafepress.com/NorCalRiviera

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004 9:22 AM

BLACKOUTNIGHTS

"Arch Stanton? I thought yer were dead'n buried in that there big 'ol cemetery next to the grave marked un-k-k, un-k-k...th' grave with no name on it."

"Art is Ego..."-Greg Dulli

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004 9:27 AM

UNCHARTEDOUTLAW

Heheheheh. Naw, all a hoax. Even that old...what was his name anyway? I dunno, that fancy-duded guy who tried lookin' all tough, even he bought it. Just a marker, z'all. Me an' ole Johnny Behan been runnin' 'round together on an old Firefly. Call her Prosperity.

-Taylor (bonus level gold star if you know who Johnny Behan was)

The Uncharted Outlaw!
Captain of Prosperity (99-K64)

See my Site:
http://www.geocities.com/norcalriviera
See my Firefly Store: http://www.cafepress.com/NorCalRiviera

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004 10:01 AM

BLACKOUTNIGHTS

"Johnny Behan?" *scratches head* "It's good to see he's out on his feet agin after'n all that mess with the Earp brothers. He ain't still mad 'bout Josie is he?"

"Have you seen Bill Carson 'round?"

"Art is Ego..."-Greg Dulli

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004 10:04 AM

UNCHARTEDOUTLAW

(Gold Star Bonus Level: 10,000 points!)

"Bill? Nope. But Behan's over Josie unless he's real drunk and you bring it up. He's my loadmaster now. How's life been treatin' you?"

-Taylor

The Uncharted Outlaw!
Captain of Prosperity (99-K64)

See my Site:
http://www.geocities.com/norcalriviera
See my Firefly Store: http://www.cafepress.com/NorCalRiviera

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004 11:11 AM

BLACKOUTNIGHTS

*SPIT! ting!*

"Life's been good, real good. I got me one o them there shoot'em up fighter ships 'n the Alliance has been contracting with me to fight in some small skirmishes. Pay's a lot better 'n they were paying in the war. 'N you?"

"Art is Ego..."—Greg Dulli

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004 4:16 PM

UNCHARTEDOUTLAW

"Eh, just haulin' gear and supplies from one end of creation to t'other. Havin' some fun, gettin' in some trouble 'long the way. Kinda the way life should be, eh?"

The Uncharted Outlaw!
Captain of Prosperity (99-K64)

See my Site:
http://www.geocities.com/norcalriviera
See my Firefly Store: http://www.cafepress.com/NorCalRiviera

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Thursday, December 23, 2004 7:56 AM

SHINYHAPPYKLIN

The doors of the saloon slam open...a figure in a long coat and large beat up 10 gallon hat stands in the doorway.

"Well, you boys just gonna sit there, or is someone gonna be a gorram gentleman and help me haul this bag o' goodies inside?"

The figure steps forward, clicking her boot heels, tips the brim of her hat up, and flicks her cigar ashes in the general direction of Arch Stanton.

"Who're you, tellin' us our business?" Arch replied.

"You might know my sister, Patience...I'm Prudence. Prudence Buchannan Harshaw. I run the OTHER half of this here little world. The half you boys be sittin' in right now. So I reckon that makes me able to ask for a little assistance from you, bein' as I'm so chari..cher..ruttin' nice to let you sit there without puttin' a gun to your heads...it's the Holidays after all."

"We gotta go to that crappy town where I'M a hero..."
Shiny stuff for Browncoats at: http://www.cafepress.com/outtotheblack

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Thursday, December 23, 2004 12:58 PM

UNCHARTEDOUTLAW

Oh man, Prudence?! Here, lemme help ya with that. You guys got a whole family of virtues? Faith and Hope share a world somewheres?

Man, whattaya got in this here bag anyway? Anvils fer Christmas?!

The Uncharted Outlaw!
Captain of Prosperity (99-K64)

See my Site:
http://www.geocities.com/norcalriviera
See my Firefly Store: http://www.cafepress.com/NorCalRiviera

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Thursday, December 23, 2004 5:50 PM

SHINYHAPPYKLIN

"Anvils? Nah...just some Alliance food bricks I stol...picked up from some old friends of mine. Might be some decent likker in there somewhere, although Purplebellies don't much go for that kind of thing. At least any thing normal people can stomach, that is."

"As far as Faith, Hope, Charity, yeah, there's a whole smattering of us around. Daddy was SO thrilled to get girls. Patience and me were Daddy's girls, and learned everything we know from him. The others? Well, I think I heard one of my sis'..Faith, I think...got all righteous and became one of those high-falootin' companion-types, and Charity shipped out somewhere with a bunch of flyboys doin' salvage...maybe you'll see her out your way sometime!"

"Let's drag this gorram bag in, and see if there's anything else in here worth usin' to make us a decent celebration with!"

"We gotta go to that crappy town where I'M a hero..."
Shiny stuff for Browncoats at: http://www.cafepress.com/outtotheblack

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Thursday, December 23, 2004 6:13 PM

JRC

Meanwhile, behind the bar, cleanin' up a big mess of glasses, old One-Eye Cortez begins to feel somethin' might be amiss. He slowly crouches down, reachin' under the egg-nog spigot, lookin' for the two-barrel shotgun full of confetti he was savin' for New Years'.................

Everyone dies alone.

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Friday, December 24, 2004 9:29 AM

UNCHARTEDOUTLAW

*I start trying to drag the bag in and my boots do that slippy thing on the floor where I kinda look like a cartoon until I get it near the tree.*

Dang, that's sure heavy! I need to workout a little bit more. Say, if I run back to Properity, anyone got any problems if I bring back my NES and we can all play "Gunsmoke"?

-Taylor

The Uncharted Outlaw!
Captain of Prosperity (99-K64)

See my Site:
http://www.geocities.com/norcalriviera
See my Firefly Store: http://www.cafepress.com/NorCalRiviera

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Friday, December 24, 2004 6:09 PM

SHINYHAPPYKLIN

*Prudence flicks ashes and takes a big draw on her cee-gar*

"Arch, you go get that thingy from the ship...Gunsmoke could be fun. And it'll give us somethin' to do besides kneecappin' that goofy lookin' doc over there by the tree that keeps tryin' to examine the presents with his medi-thingy."

*Prudence glares at the young man over by the tree*

"HEY, BOY! Whatcha think you're doin' there? Put down the pressies and go play with yer sister's dollies or somethin'....HAWHAWHAWHAWcoughgagcough..HACK...PING!"

"We gotta go to that crappy town where I'M a hero..."
Shiny stuff for Browncoats at: http://www.cafepress.com/outtotheblack

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Saturday, December 25, 2004 10:14 PM

JRC

Behind the bar, with celebretory confetti-filled shotgun in hand, One-eye Cortez hears the ping in the old spittoon, not three feet from his head. "Aww, dang it, I gotta clean that thang too? Dad-gum-it! When's that foul female given up the cee-gar? Those ashes make this fine establishment real dirty-lookin'."

Everyone dies alone.

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