Come and laugh at all the stupid people! by EmmaRigby

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Come and laugh at all the stupid people!

POSTED BY: EMMARIGBY
UPDATED: Sunday, June 4, 2006 05:15
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VIEWED: 9287
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Saturday, June 3, 2006 8:35 AM

Just found something else that made me giggle so I thought I'd add it to the list!

Funny quotes (allegedly real) newspaper headlines:

17 Remain Dead In Morgue Shooting Spree
Coach Fire - Passengers Safely Alight
Grandmother Of Eight Makes A Hole In One
Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Experts Say
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunks Get Nine Months In Violin Case
Eastern Head Seeks Arms
Prostitutes Appeal To Religious Leader
Failed Panda Mating - Veterinarian Takes Over
British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
President Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout
War Dims Hope For Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Space
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery - Hundreds Dead

________________________________

Hisssssss!

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Sunday, June 4, 2006 2:13 AM

TAYEATRA

Quote:
Originally posted by Magdalene:
Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
Miners Refuse To Work After Death

...Good on 'em, I say - a man should get to rest ... in peace! ??

Absolutely not, the lazy bums. Get those corpses back in that mine and keep them working until they can pay for their own funerals.

*****
Taya
*****
I'm going to S3!!!
(*Insert hysterical celebration dance here*)

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Sunday, June 4, 2006 2:54 AM

SIMONWHO

And you tell that to the youth of today and they don't believe you.

I live in a small town called Ongar and the local paper had a highly regarded headline regarding the library being closed:

Book Lack in Ongar.

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Sunday, June 4, 2006 4:51 AM

DARWINSHANDMAIDEN

I just saw this in today's local rag: "BC Ferries threaten suspensions if sunken ferry workers don't talk". First they sink them then they suspend them - these workers need a better union.

I picks them up, I drops them off.

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Sunday, June 4, 2006 5:15 AM

GIXXER

Direct link to a Planning / Zoning law story, since you wouldn't believe it...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/31/rochdale_email_filter/

Plus, learn to speak orfentic cockerney like Guy Ritchie 'ere. Guv.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/08/17/email_abuse/

G

I'm a purist. I defer only to Dick Van Dyke in linguistic matters.

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