Male and Female Imponderables--Yet Again by Tristan

Though you was feeling a touch of DP goodness. DP all you want, we love you EMMA!

P.S. A quick note. Recent realization says Ms. Incredible may be mentally unstable. That means its not me! SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If no one caught that, I feel very shiny.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:49 PM

STILLFLYIN

On the issue of cuddling. First off, I will open myself up to ridicule by admitting that I do not, not have I ever had a girlfriend. That being said, I would enjoy simply cuddling with my girlfriend, if I ever find one, more than anything beyond that. This is due in part to my moral standards and to the fact that I would want a girlfriend who enjoyed simply being with me and I enjoyed being with here in a situation where neither is making demands on the other and we are simply being together.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:56 PM

No ridicule intended. None needed. I think cuddling is a great way to be close to a person without having any sexual intenntions. No demands. Just physical closeness. I love it.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:11 PM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Quote:
Originally posted by StillFlyin:
On the issue of cuddling. First off, I will open myself up to ridicule by admitting that I do not, not have I ever had a girlfriend. That being said, I would enjoy simply cuddling with my girlfriend, if I ever find one, more than anything beyond that. This is due in part to my moral standards and to the fact that I would want a girlfriend who enjoyed simply being with me and I enjoyed being with here in a situation where neither is making demands on the other and we are simply being together.

That pretty much sums me up (though I have had a boyfriend. And an almost-girlfriend.) Cuddling is nice. It's a great way to just be with each other, and makes me really feel loved. Almost more than anything else. I mean, you know, sex is good too, but it's really just not as much fun without lots of cuddling both before and after.
I think we've talked about this before, but it was on the second thread or thereabouts, so I don't mind going into it again; I LOVE to cuddle! I cannot get enough! I love touch, I just do. I am the most touchy-feely-huggy-cuddly person I've ever known. It saddens me that I've basically neer found anyone who likes to cuddle as much as I do. I could probably cuddle for hours and be happy as a cat in the sun, but I've never found anyone willing to do so. They all get bored and hyper. So unless they fall asleep (which has also happened) not so much, and it's not the same when the other person is sleeping.
Anyway, on to jealousy; I get mad jealous when my friends enter a relatinship. Mad, mad jealous. This is for a couple reasons, probably. One is that I do tend to be attracted to many of my friends. It makes me a little sad when they don't "choose" me, but I can generally think "Wait, would that actually work?" and be fine. Mostly, though, relationships eat time. I'll admit it; I didn't have nearly as much free time when I was in one as I do now. And every time a friend of mine is in a new one, I basically never see them. It is very hurty. I won't go in to the friend I basically lost because she had no time for me and also stopped confiding in me after she slept with her boyfriend. Wait, I guess I did kinda go into it. Oh well. So yes, I get the pangs of jealousy. I don't get drunk, of course, and I usually don't insist on being taken for a drive and cuddled; that's a kind of... non-platonic thing to do. At least in my book. Everyone's friendships work differently.
Whew, long post!
Hey, so all you shiny people who are gonna go to Nevada and shave this woman and stuff... I don't suppose you would want to stop in Colorado to put my ex through the engine? You know, if it wasn't too far out of your way...

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 2:31 AM

DEEPGIRL187

Quote:
Originally posted by StillFlyin:
On the issue of cuddling. First off, I will open myself up to ridicule by admitting that I do not, not have I ever had a girlfriend.

Morning, eveyone. Nothing to feel bad about. I've never had a boyfriend myself. And on the subject of cuddling, I've always been sort of weird about that. Sometimes I really want to be held, and sometimes I don't want anyone to touch me. As a rule, when I'm around touchy-feely kind of people, I tend to get paranoid. Just my own hang-up I guess.

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Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:26 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Though you was feeling a touch of DP goodness. DP all you want, we love you EMMA!

P.S. A quick note. Recent realization says Ms. Incredible may be mentally unstable. That means its not me! SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If no one caught that, I feel very shiny.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

Ah! Thank you sweetie!
And of course anyone who isn't smitten with an instant realisation that you are fantastic is quite clearly clinically insane. (I keep telling myself that aw well. The world is full of mad people. They're all MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD i tell you!!!!) Cough... feeling better now. Sorry, for the scary glimpse inside my head!

________________________________

Hisssssss!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:53 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Yes, yes; they're all crazy except for you and me!

And sometimes I have my doubts about you...

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:04 AM

Rugbug - I'm with you in the anti-list club.

OK, occasionally I make a list just to clarify things. Then I prompty lose the list. But there have been no disasters so far.

Cuddle? Looove to cuddle, but only with boyfriend. Kind of weird with others, as I like cuddling to involve things like ear-nibbling as well. And not lets have sex ear-nibbling, but... just fun. Does that make sense?

Jealousy? Not so much. Except when a romance steals a friend away, and I never get to see them. That's always sad.

Crazy? What's wrong with being crazy???

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:15 AM

RUGBUG

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
And every time a friend of mine is in a new one, I basically never see them. It is very hurty. I won't go in to the friend I basically lost because she had no time for me and also stopped confiding in me after she slept with her boyfriend.

I wouldn't call this jealousy, though, PR. I call it them being a bad friend. And why is it when they're single they always say something like, "Oh, I would never do that to my friends," and then BAM! they're gone. They just disappear and it's hard to not feel like you were filling time for them. I don't need to hang out with them all the time, but once a month would be nice.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:17 AM

Well you're all just figments of my imagination anyway!

Luckily I have a very good imagination so you're very cute figments!

Sorry, I've gone off on a tangent haven't I. Just slap me when I do that!

________________________________

Hisssssss!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:24 AM

Morning, all!

I think I missed a few things...see if I can get caught up.

Cuddling. I am somewhat a fan of cuddling. Not something I like to do all the time, but it's wonderful to cuddle up on the sofa every now and then to watch a movie. It's also especially wonderful during the afterglow.

I can be somewhat jealous of a platonic friend's romantic interest in someone else...but I am also very supportive of them. Kind of a weird, mixed-up thing, I know...

PR, we would be more than happy to put someone through an engine for you!

I missed the list thing waaay back...but I am not generally a list maker. I will create an inventory list every now and then of cloth, thread, needles, etc., as well as tools and armoring supplies, but that is more to figure out what I need to replace.

Alright, looks like I am caught up for now...
Let's hope the server stays up today!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:35 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
I wouldn't call this jealousy, though, PR. I call it them being a bad friend. And why is it when they're single they always say something like, "Oh, I would never do that to my friends," and then BAM! they're gone. They just disappear and it's hard to not feel like you were filling time for them. I don't need to hang out with them all the time, but once a month would be nice.

I tend to see them about once a month, actually. Go from once or twice a week to once a month... maybe. Although that really only happened long term twice; eventually I got tired of putting in all the effort of seeing them. One (the one mentioned above, as it happens) then accused me of giving her the "silent treatment" after basically not initiating contact for a year. I just got tired of it and waited for her to call me. She is a very, very long and complicated story in my life. Very long. The other one I just never saw again.
Now I only get a little jealous when my best friend finds someone to be with; there's always a few weeks when I don't see her. Plus I get worried because I've watched her get her heart broken many times and I've only known her for a couple of years! *sigh* She is a good friend, though. She always makes time for me. That reminds me, I should call her. We're still working our way through the show, and seeing the movie on the 23rd!

Gotta get a move on!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:40 AM

RUGBUG

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
I missed the list thing waaay back...but I am not generally a list maker. I will create an inventory list every now and then of cloth, thread, needles, etc., as well as tools and armoring supplies, but that is more to figure out what I need to replace.

Ah, but inventory lists are very different creatures than to-do lists.

I LURVE inventory lists. Wanna know what DVDs (and even VHS) I own? Gotta list for that. The lists aren't really keeping track of anything, they're just stuck on the computer in case one day I might like to look at them. God, I'm such a freak.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:53 AM

Ah, sorry! See, I told you I missed the list thing!
To-do lists are an evil of immense proportion...the few times I actually created one, I ended up doing half-a-dozen things that were not on the list before I even realized it!
No, to-do lists are not for me.

No, RugBug, you are not a freak. There will be times when I consult one of my "inventory" lists and realize I have something I could have used on my last project.

Here's a question to get us back in the less-than-PG-rated frame of mind...
Preferred place for romantic (or otherwise) couplings. I know that the bed is number one, but are there places you would prefer to the bedroom?

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:53 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Oh yeah, I missed the list thing, too. Um...
I have a lot of lists, like of the bands I like (long story) and the CD's I would like to own one day (short story) and I also have all my CD's in order; A-Z by artist, in order of release. Funny that I don't even use my CD's anymore except to put them on my computer to listen to; I still obsess a little about the order.
I don't do "to-do" lists so much. I read a story when I was little about the futility of lists. It was a Frog and Toad story (don't know if anyone else ever read those?) and Toad made a list, and he was going to do everything on the list and nothing else, but when he left the house the list blew away and he stood wringing his hands because chasing after the list was not on the list and Frog couldn't catch it so then they just sat in the same place all day. It was a ridiculous story, I know, but it really put me off to-do lists for the rest of my life. Funny how things in our childhood can do those things.
Oh and also I have a very good memory, so I don't tend to need them.
I will write down due dates and when I'm supposed to be at work and stuff.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:03 AM

DEEPGIRL187

I make lists because I suck at remembering things. Whenever I want to download a MP3, I write the name down on this huge list of songs that I have. Said list is over four pages in length, which shows you just how bad my memory is.

Edit: Ah ha! I knew I wasn't the only one with the CD problem, PR! Course, it's starting to be a real pain organizing them (I have over 200 CD's)

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Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:05 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
Here's a question to get us back in the less-than-PG-rated frame of mind...
Preferred place for romantic (or otherwise) couplings. I know that the bed is number one, but are there places you would prefer to the bedroom?

Oh, Tristan, you are opening a can of worms. A can of kinky, kinky worms.
Beds are nice, yes. However, I prefer a LoveSac or similar large, stuffed, beanbag chair-shaped pillowy thing. I find I like the interesting positions and angles that can be achieved here. Also, for a similar reason, I like the car. I just wish the ceilings were higher on those. I have always liked the idea of sex in the kitchen. You have to have a decent-sized kitchen for this, though. I haven't ever gotten to try it. The only decent sized kitchen is at my house, which is also my mother's house. I have a very large closet, and for some reason I always wanted to try a few things in there. The floor can also be fun. Another that I have not experienced but would like to try is the outdoors; a nice, secluded park or somesuch. Moonlight and stars, or maybe out in the rain. Rain is sexy. Work is another one. There are big fluffy chairs where I work, and I think that would be great fun. I am there alone at night, since they only really need one person there for graveyard. I invited the ex there a few times; he never took me up on it. However, if we had ever had a movie theater to ourselves, I think he would have been up for it. Even when we didn't have it to ourselves, we would sometimes mess around, though not to any extremity.
Oh dear. This post is not as whorish as it sounds, I swear!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:08 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Quote:
Originally posted by deepgirl187:
Course, it's starting to be a real pain organizing them (I have over 200 CD's)

As do I, my friend. As do I.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:12 AM

SHEPHERD2BE

morning all, east coast day shift clocking in.
Looks like I missed out on a lot yesterday due to the server problems and my boss actually expecting me to work. Once again I will try to catch up.

FMF- I would give him another week, try again, if no response, forget about it. His loss.

NVGhostrider, I am in agreement with you on the unstable ( more than a little indecisive ) but how unstable? There are different levels. Neuroticism and insecurity is tolerable, bipolar setting your car on fire and carving your name in her forehead while singing Janice Joplin is not. Hang in there, a good high speed wahl clipper with a 10 blade is on call here if needed.

Body temp is kind of important. My ex was cold to the touch. It was like sleeping next to a glacier. She thought it was quaint when I said I would like pajamas for a gift. It was just protection from frostbite.

Not one for lists usually. Serves me right if I forget it.

All for the cuddling. I have discovered there is no better way to watch Firefly than on my couch with my girlfriend wrapped around me.

Emma -- Smitten, great word, haven't used it in a while but it does describe my current situation oh so well.

PR -- I do not get jealous of my friends having relationships. I tended to get jealous when my friends would pair off and go do the couple thing with other couples.

Suddenly I was a leper. Instead of hanging out every other weekend,it was once every two months. We would get together, they talk of the fun they had had with other couples I do not even know and then as I was leaving, they would say this was fun, we should do this more often. And I would grit my teeth smile and say we certainly should......

Tristan -- Bed is always #1 for me, but a sturdy dining room table can be very practical.

Ok, think I am caught up now. Is it too early for lunch?

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:13 AM

Not whorish at all! Got me thinking innapropriate thoughts when I should be working though!

I'd like to put a vote in for sex in the shower! Mmm, slippery! Plus you have someone to scrub your back for you afterwards!
Only thing is we have limited hot water here and getting doused with ice cold water at exactly the wrong moment isn't something I'd recommend. I'm sure they used to use that sort of thing for aversion therapy! I'm going to be so screwed up!

________________________________

Hisssssss!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:14 AM

Well, I was hoping to open a can of worms with this one. I am trying to see if females think similar to males in this respect.
I was a man-whore (apparently), so I don't really want to list places I have "been", as it would seem overmuch and possibly TMI. I am trying to see if there is a consensus of "bedroom" vs. "anywhere else"...but I could stand to hear a little more, if y'all want to give it.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:25 AM

NV- Ok so how unstable are we talking?? just unstable enough to be too stupid to see how great you are and actually pull her head out and do something right... or I have cut off your cat's hair and am using it in a voodoo ritual to sink the sun? I still say shaving's the way to go here

Phoenix- sure we'll just grab the nasty ex knock him out, dress him in some lovely frilly lingerie, take pics, and send them to a lovely web service to help him find new friends.

Emma- glad to see you back sweety:)and may I just say I have a friend that I've been friends with since I was 4 and I would never pick him over my husband...so don't be too sure ex flatmate would win:)

Tristan- oooh so many fun places. May I highly reccomend the trampoline. very springy! Also a big fan of dining room table. Warning not in the ocean. You can get sand in all kinds of bad places.

OK Now I have a questions for those of you out there who are couples. Does your significant other have the password to your email? My spouse feels like not sharing passwords means you have something to hide and I'd like to know what you guys think.

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:36 AM

msg,
Passwords. I would rather not know my wife's passwords...her email is none of my business. I see this as akin to opening regular mail or reading a diary/journal (that is not publically posted online, etc). I like my privacy, and I respect the privacy of my wife. I have nothing to hide, and neither does she. If she wants to read my email, I will let her, but I do not believe in having access to her accounts; nor do I believe in letting her have access to mine.
Hope that makes sense.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:42 AM

trampoline? That seems... difficult.

In certain circumstances, I'm a fan of against the wall. Not if you're into taking a long time about it, that can be tiring.

Don't have an SO, msg, but I like to think I'd share the email password. Sometimes you need someone else to check things or send a mail, it'd just be convenient.

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:46 AM

Thanks Tristan makes sense and is basically what I think.
Mal4prez- oooh I'd forgotten up against a wall. Sometimes that can be seriously hot!! As for trampoline it's not difficult as long as you are lying down. It might be if you were jumping on it.
So I think that althought we usually use beds the sex you remember best or that was the hottest is usually spontaneous and in an unusual location... is that what you were looking for Tristan or did you want an opinion on which was better?

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:52 AM

She does tell me how great I am, but its a wonder if she really appreciates me. I should say emotionally unstable with OCD. I see the attraction, but she appears to be very fearful of my advances. Though, she never says NO when I ask her to do stuff. She is just no very reliable.

As for the places for carnal interludes, my favorites were in the great outdoors. Lots of hiking and trekking gets the blood pumping. Those serene places you find out of the way are good for more than pictures!

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:57 AM

hmmm NV sounds like she's just one of those people who is paralyzed by indecision. They are so busy envisioning the tragic possible outcomes that they can't commit to anything. That is seriously frustrating! You can only wait so long before lack of a decision feels like the answer is no.
The not saying no thing just might be a girl deal ( help me out here those of you women who are more up on female behavior) I have noticed that a large number of women will try really hard not to say no. They try to use voice tone and redirecting to keep from saying it. I think it's sort of ingrained in girls that saying no and asserting your opinion above others is bad. That's just my thought. I could be wrong:)

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:04 AM

msg, I am looking for where you prefer to have sex...I should have added "other than in the bedroom" but I didn't think of that at the time...
See, I have never had spontaneous sex in bed; having sex in a bed has never been a surprise for me. A bed is good, but there are so many other locations that are just so much better. And a downside to this question may be the answer; "Preference? Hell, as long as I am having sex, I don't care where I am!"...so I am seeking out where people would prefer to have sex outside the bedroom.
Is that long-winded enough?

But again, stories of the best times will not be ignored.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:05 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Mal4prez- oooh I'd forgotten up against a wall. Sometimes that can be seriously hot!! As for trampoline it's not difficult as long as you are lying down. It might be if you were jumping on it.

Even laying down, I could see the bounciness becoming a problem. Not that I wouldn't try it, if I had the chance.

Outdoors, oh yes. And in the rain? Mmmm, fun.

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:12 AM

COPILOT

I see myself making that mistake constantly! Why can't I just say no! Stop following me go away I don't like you! Oh well I'm weak like that.

Okay so problem time. Last night my friend slept over to cuddle me because I was feeling lonely. I had a dream in which I woke up and saw his relection in a mirror over my bed (there isn't a mirror over my bed). It reflected his actual image for about 1/2 a second then morphed into the death deamon. I know the tarot card for death usualy just means change but why did I have so many scarey dreams while he was in my bed?

I'm also noticing he's a lot like my former significant other. Nice smart nerdy guy a few years younger than FSO but still older than me. Kinda sheltered from how bad this world can be. Way closer to his family. Maybe I'm just seeing things that arn't really there.

An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:16 AM

Ah where I prefer would actually be a bed. Much as spontaneous sex is hot and all there are just so many variables you can't control with it. Like people walking in on you, falling off of something, falling onto something, breaking something and having to explain, accidentally bumping your phone and speed dialing someone and having them hear you, leaving traces of activities and having small children ask what happened... NOT that I am speaking from experience or anything ahem*blush*

Copilot- usually your dreams are your brain's way of trying to tell you something. It might be that a change is coming or it might be that your subconscious is trying to warn you to think carefully before getting involved with the same kind of guy. Just take care of yourself and it'll all work out

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:32 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:

The not saying no thing just might be a girl deal ( help me out here those of you women who are more up on female behavior)

Oooh, I had a real problem with this a few years ago. I could never come right out and say I wasn't interested in a guy, which led for awkward avoidance tactics. It got so bad that I didn't even stop my then boyfriend when he wanted to have sex and I really didn't which left me feeling really horrible and unhappy (whilst in retrospect I am appalled at my own lack of self-confidence I am also annoyed with him. I wasn't subtle in that I wasn't in the mood. Kept saying I felt sick. The fact that I wasn't more forceful in my rejection was a lot to do with the fact that I was about to break up with him but wasn't in the mood to have the big break up then and didn't want to have to explain why I wasn't in the mood. It's interesting that until then I'd thought that sex wasn't something I was hugely emotionally invested in but the dirty feeling I was left with made me REALLY never want to get into a more ugly situation)

Sorry, long ramble to say that yes, inability to say no does afflict some of us but it is a bad thing associated with poor self image.

________________________________

Hisssssss!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:45 AM

After stuying human beahvior for a fair amount of time I understand the redirection and distraction methods of non committal individuals. What gets me is when the plans are made she always adds fuel to the fire. Adding the details of the plan. We could go here for lunch, we could get in a game (of pool) if there's time, we could get dressed up. Damn, maybe those are the distractions. Using her femanine wiles to lull me into a false sense of security. That way I'm not angry when she don't show up. You wonderful ladies really pegged it. Thanks, that makes what I will say on Friday all the more easy. You ladies rock.

COPILOT- MSG is right. Let your dreams be your advisors, but not the dictators of policy. Your mind, body, and soul's warning bells are sounding. Just remember that he is not the same individual as the ex. Try not to punish him for the sins of others (been there, it sucks).

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:47 AM

ZEEK

ok I guess I've lurked this thread long enough.

I don't get the cuddling with friends thing. I just couldn't ever see myself doing that. And I like to cuddle with girlfriends. It's just such a different dynamic than if it was with a friend. At least to me it is.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:51 AM

DEEPGIRL187

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Using her femanine wiles to lull me into a false sense of security.

Just try not to be too paranoid about things. I'm sure things will go the way they're supposed to.

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Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 7:14 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
The not saying no thing just might be a girl deal ( help me out here those of you women who are more up on female behavior) I have noticed that a large number of women will try really hard not to say no.

Busted!!!

I was stuck in this for a long time, it took me a while to figure out that it doesn't work. Gotta just say no when I'm not interested, and assume the loss of *me* won't break his delicate little heart. [/self-depracting sarcasm]

I think there is a social training behind it though. I was not encouraged to state my opinion growing up. I'm so over that!!

I'll volunteer for the TMI! My story of a good place: vacationing at an adult resort in Jamaica, there was this cushioned window seat that looked right out on the beach, which was a narrow strip of land, small and private. There was usually no one out there. Me and my bf would sit in the window seat a lot, enjoying the breeze and the waves. One evening, right at sunset, we could just see a couple, in a secluded spot behind some trees... well, the mood spread. Not the roomiest window seat, but it worked out.

I'm really not one for public sex, but hey - it was Jamaica! That kind of thing happens.

TMI??

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 7:17 AM

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

I forgot showers! My shower is a stall, so there was never enough room in there. I agree; againt the wall/standing up is one of the most mind-blowing positions I've ever been in! Not because it was spontaious, because it was just... Well, you know. It felt good.
Passwords: hell no I would not let anyone have my passwords! They wanna read my e-mail that bad, I can pull it up and tell them to have at it, but I don't want anyone having access to my private accounts, by they banking, e-mail, or even this place. I have nothing to hide, I just protect myself. Seriously, what if you break up? You have to change all your passwords to prevent sabotage! Not that I want or expect that outcome, but it's common enough that I wouldn't want to risk it. I'm an open book in most cases and have nothing to hide; not ever. If someone thinks I'm hiding something, they are paranoid or stupid or both. And if they're at all worried, they can ask me. I know a lot of people aren't like that, though.
Saying no: if I really mean "No" I have no problem saying it. I had one guy accuse me of being really rude to him at one point because he asked if I wanted a drink as he was starting to pour beer in my glass and I snapped a "No" at him and he said I had been rude. I was like "Buddy, I don't know you, I don't know where that beer has been, and you didn't wait for my permission to start pouring it into my ice tea in the first place, so I didn't have time to tell you politely that I don't drink and am underage anyway so you just came very close to breaking the law." Man you should have seen his face! There was also a guy majorly hitting on me in a club at one point, and I straight up told him he was barking up the wrong tree. I don't have a problem saying what I think. I was raised by fairly free-thinking people; they never told me not to assert myself. And it just comes so naturally to me!
Copilot; direct dream interpretaion from a not-really-professional would be that you are, in fact, afraid of change. That is okay; most people are to some extent and you are going through a big one. At the same time, if I were you I wouldn't let someone like that into my bed again. Whether it's actually him or actually you, you are obviously not ready.
Hey, at least he didn't turn into your ex!
NV, I am glad all of us here could help! Good luck to you.
No Mal4prez, not TMI. Sounds very nice.
Whew! I wasn't off that long!

Oh, and dressing up my ex in frilly lingerie?

Yes!
Actually, considering I met him at the Rocky Horror Picture Show, not sure how much of a punishment it would be. Of course, he only ever wore fishnet shirts, never went all out.

Let's do it!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 7:21 AM

Mal4Prez, I think the thrill of being caught can greatly increase the passion of a situation. I envy you for Jamaica, though...

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 7:25 AM

PR, on a funny side note regarding Rocky Horror...I have actually dressed up as Frank-n-Furter for a "gathering" in college...turned out to be quite a comfortable ensemble!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 7:50 AM

DEEPGIRL187- Next to caffine and adrenaline paranoia is among the top of my drug favoites. Of course things will go according to gods plan. I have to say that Ms. Incredible did help me shed alot of insecurities and doubts about myself. I actually wanna have sex now. Maybe even connect and have a relationship. If its not with her, than so be it. At leasy I know what I want. Its great.

As for the inability to say no. Ladies, Don't fear the truth. I would not be in the current position I'm in if someone had piped up with the truth. She claims to be my friend to numerous folk, but had I known the truth I would feel like an actual frien and may even be able to hang out with her no matter who is around without any fits of jealosy, (though it is my experience that my female friends have become jealous of the women I lean affectionatly towards than vice versa)

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 7:56 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
PR, on a funny side note regarding Rocky Horror...I have actually dressed up as Frank-n-Furter for a "gathering" in college...turned out to be quite a comfortable ensemble.

Which one's that? Garters and corset and stuff? If so, ooh-la-la!!

All right, I want more stories! I know you people have done wilder things than I have!!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 8:05 AM

SERYN

Cuddling - i love, Like someone said, even watcxhing tv, its improved when theres someone draped around you. Its actually the only thing i miss unbearably about relationships. (human contact I mean)

Jealousy - the last time igot really jealous was when my best friend of many years started going out with her uni friends, she'd phone me up at eight or nine at night and ask if i was coming out, and then got pissy with me when I wasn't willing to drop everything and haul myself and my make up bag out. That and other issues meant I lost her as a friend, yet another reason why idon't get any cuddles (we were close, to the point where we'd hug a lot and even sit playing with each others hands etc.)

Not saying no - i'm sure its happened in the past alot, but recently i'm proud to say that i've overcome that problem, i'm quite forthright and absolutly honest when I don't like something. yey me *waves small flag*

Sex - actually, in a kitchen its much easier if the really spontaneous (still mostly clothed) and kitchens small, as you can prop your butt on one counter and rest one foot on the other so that you're better supported, plus it creates a great angle and adds a cert...ain... er, Of course, this is what friends tell me... yeah. *cough*

Related to internet dating of a few posts back - what do you guys think about frequency of messages?
As in, when I get a message I reply to it then, if i'm able, it just seems natural, good ettiquet if you will. But even guys I think I have a really good connection with after a while just take longer and longer to message me back (even though they have logged on in the interim) I have this horrid fear of being where i'm not wanted, so i don't tend to send them more messages, but what kind of impresion is that giving? The last one, a guy who i was talking to a lot about music, I sent one, and then a little while ago sent him another (a joke about converting my neice to some music he told me about) but it hasn't prompted a reply.
Its not like i'm madly in lust with this guy, i just don't want to seem either too pushy or completely uncaring.

Has anyone had this happen to them of been on the other side? is he not arsed about continuing the converstion or do guys just not see replying as a big issue?

(as for rocky horror, yes, many guys have said that. I find corsetry really comfy and supportive (posture wise) sometimes, and silk underwear always feel nice, so its not that unusual i suppose.)

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 8:10 AM

LITTLEALBATROSS29

Any man who could dress up ( and be seen ) like Frankie has my immediate respect !I always wanted to play Magenta. We have the same hair.

When hubby & I first got together, we actually set the bedroom on fire. We left a candle too near the bed & up went the comforter, and some cd's.
Ever try to put out a fire naked ? Not fun.
Hot tubs are great , though.

Bryce
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I swallowed a bug.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 8:16 AM

Yes, the garters and corset outfit...if I had pictures, I would post them.

Stories, stories, stories...
A few brief interludes; backstage during the performance of a play that both of us were involved in, flyloft of the same theatre, on a beach in NC (during summer theatre) with four or five other couples around while watching the sun come up, backseat of my car in front of my partner's mother's house. Thoses are some of the spontaneous encounters. I am also a huge fan of the shower...but it is important to have a large hot water heater. I also enjoy the possibility of getting caught, so I have had sex in numerous public and semi-public places, including crowded hotel rooms during Ren Faires.
I reserve the right not to post wilder things unless I am directly challenged.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 8:31 AM

Okay, so the hotel incident I mentioned in a much earlier post. Ex liked standing in the process just as much as me. Moving about the room we came to rest on the windowsill of our fifth floor room. Chsin reaction man strikes again. Foot slips partner holds on tight, and somehow the window popped out of the frame. Chain reaction man pulls back and breaks partners fall to the floor. Window pane shatters loudly on ground below. After five minutes of hysterics reality sets in for the dynamic duo. We almost died. Right back at it from the excitement. Despite the fact we almost died in a very embarassing manner, the whole ordeal was quite funny. Except of course for the fact I ended up paying a six hundred dollar repair bill. God I love adrenaline.

TRISTAN: CHALLENGE!!!!!!!!!

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 8:32 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by seryn:
Related to internet dating of a few posts back - what do you guys think about frequency of messages?

Good question! I've noticed there seems to be a rule about not answering too quickly. Like, if I answer quickly it puts pressure on the other party to reply quickly. Kind of silly.

I tend to copy people's speed. If they take two days to get back to me, I do the same. Unless I have a burning need to say something.

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 8:34 AM

NV - LOL! good story!!

You almost made the Darwin list!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006 8:43 AM