GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Who Here Masturbates??

POSTED BY: CALHOUN
UPDATED: Sunday, February 11, 2007 13:41
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 8815
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Monday, October 23, 2006 2:55 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


I feel another FORSAKENY moment coming on. Maybe we need tee shirts for this one.

THE FORSAKEN-Beware of Ceiling Cat


----
Bestower of Titles, Designer of Tshirts, Maker of Mottos, Keeper of the Pyre

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"



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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:04 PM

JONNYQUEST

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"


So, here's the thing. I popped in on this thread to see just what kind of pervs would have something to say about this. Two things have become apparent to me. First, it's surprising how many of you I know. Second, considering I was just going to lurk (and I'm not sure what that says about me), I'm posting more than most...

I wasn't going to comment on this aspect but find as usual I can't stop myself.

Quote:

Originally posted by babywiththepower:
Well, this topic really belonged in "Talk Story" and not where it's at, but there's no harm in it.
...It's completely natural and nothign to be ashamed about...It's nothing to be offended about, and if you are, then you might have some growing up to do.


Not everyone has the same sensibilities. A different opinion does not necessarily indicate immaturity. It might be natural, but most of the things that make us "civilized" (i.e. what separates us from the animals--or at least the barbarians) are those that subdue or control the passions.
Quote:

Originally posted by atigdng:
Well, that ain't true, some people actually have morals and have the ability to restrain themselves Im refering to people here... One would be me.
... It is immoral to me though.
i am not the one who said anything about being superior to anyone because of my beliefs... Think what you like it is your opinion/belief. Not my business.


By stating that you have morals you imply that mastubators have none or inferior ones at best. It seems you modified your stance a bit, saying it's immoral for you but (maybe) not for someone else. By the end you are divorcing yourself from the original statement altogether. I hope that if you truly believe that it is immoral you won't let a bunch of us cybergeeks change your mind that quickly. We bark loud, but we're pretty much defanged. Except Kaneman.
*bows in humble submission in Kaneman's general direction*
Quote:

Originally posted by Storymark:
For my 2 cents, someone telling oters they're immoral over a natuarl thing, acting like it makes them somehow superior is simply verbal masturbation.


This is beginning to sound like a nurture vs. nature argument. I'm not sure any progress can or will be made here...
Quote:

Originally posted by Rio:
I will back ATIGDNG in this. Masterbation is wrong, and immoral. Saying that it is good because everyone does it is just plain dumb. If everyone jumped off a cliff would you do it also just to fit in?
I do not pretend to be any better than you. I was an avid masturbater for three years, and the only thing that stopped me my introduction to Firefly, no kidding. Masturbation is a degredation of both body and mind. I dont care if you do or do not but please lets keep this forum on apropriate subjects.
Thank You


I don't think anyone ever died from masturbating as with your bridge illustration. Heck, you might be mastubating--well not you--precisely because you do not "fit in". Is a "degradation"? Hmm. I suppose that has to do with how each of us feels about ourselves while we do it. If you're offended by your own actions, don't.

Interestingly no matter what side of the argument you fall on, it seems most of us agree that the discussion should have been held in a diffent forum (maybe Penthouse's?).

On the other hand, as I said in my previous post, this was supposed to be an ironic metaphorical discussion, and we all went nuts (pardon) over it.

Traveler, going blind was always a good one, too. But the guy checking his hand is priceless...

"Well, here I am."


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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:08 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


(Slips and falls on tears of joy and laughter)

Thanks FMF. That would be one of the greatest insiders for a con. Would go great on a hat (Boonie hat size 7 3/4).

Good seein' ya around.


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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:12 PM

RIO


I apologize for my last post. But I will not take back what I said. I am 15 years old, and see first hand what masterbation does to my friends, and what it did to me. I do not wish to sound arrogant. I only feel that it is right to say the truth. Like I said I am 15, I had masturbated since I was around 12 or 13. I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression and realized why. So I quit, well I wish it was that easy, I relapsed a couple of times and every time I did I almost commited suicide because I felt that I had no control over myself. That is what masturbation does to you. It is an addiction like drugs, alchohol, or smoking. Why would you want your life to be controlled by this.

I dont think that I will be coming back. And I am sure that some of you will be glad of my leave. I always thought that the Browncoats were one cool bunch of people, but it is time for me to hang up my brown coat and stand up for my beliefs even if I stand alone.


I Bid the adieu.

"...Be what they want...and I'll just fade away..."

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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:17 PM

JONNYQUEST

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"


Delay double post.

"Well, here I am."


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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:23 PM

6IXSTRINGJACK

[/i]


Sorry Rio. I feel like a jerk now. Even though that's a funny pun, I think this did get a bit carried away. Some of you know from other posts that I am an advocate of freedom of speech, but there really is a level of responsibility that comes with that and I think we may have started to cross that line by offending browncoats to the point that they will actually leave. I don't think any of us want to see that.

I propose we put an end to this thread and let it fade into the special hell that all the old forgotten threads go to, only to be brought back because of negative campaigning when one of us is foolish enough to believe that we can actually have a political carreer after posting on this thread.

"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." http://www.myspace.com/6ixstringjack

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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:24 PM

JONNYQUEST

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"


Okay. I had a good-sized post that just vanished into thin air. I'm too tired to try to recreate it now. Maybe if I'm in the mood tomorrow I might give it a try. For now it seems we're pounding this into the ground...

EDIT: Fine. It still seems to be there. I give up...

"Well, here I am."


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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:24 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Quote:

Originally posted by Rio:
I apologize for my last post. But I will not take back what I said. I am 15 years old, and see first hand what masterbation does to my friends, and what it did to me. I do not wish to sound arrogant. I only feel that it is right to say the truth. Like I said I am 15, I had masturbated since I was around 12 or 13. I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression and realized why. So I quit, well I wish it was that easy, I relapsed a couple of times and every time I did I almost commited suicide because I felt that I had no control over myself. That is what masturbation does to you. It is an addiction like drugs, alchohol, or smoking. Why would you want your life to be controlled by this.

I dont think that I will be coming back. And I am sure that some of you will be glad of my leave. I always thought that the Browncoats were one cool bunch of people, but it is time for me to hang up my brown coat and stand up for my beliefs even if I stand alone.


I Bid the adieu.

"...Be what they want...and I'll just fade away..."



Rio,
I mean no disrespect when I say that you should speak to your therapist about what is causing your depression and not attempt to decide for yourself.

As for leaving. You have no need. People disagree here all the time. Healthy discussion is never a bad thing.

Stick around.

But seriously, if you are not in therapy for your depression you should be.


----
Bestower of Titles, Designer of Tshirts, Maker of Mottos, Keeper of the Pyre

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"



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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:26 PM

KANEMAN


Rio, "I am 15 years old, and see first hand what masterbation does to my friends"

Read that post... read it again... again.......slowly...one more time.......I won't bother with this, I could spend all night on this.... I am dieing right now!

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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:32 PM

KANEMAN


Quote:

Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:


Funny finding you here FMF.
teach ...teacher ..teach

Hey sorry about the post in the "Why" thread, uncalled for I guess. I got a couple private e-mails that stated so...I thought you would get the joke...sorry if I offended .......

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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:33 PM

JONNYQUEST

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"


No, Rio. Please don't go because of one thread. Browncoats are the best people around. I'm 46 and I've met LOTS of people. My old job caused me to meet thousands of people a year. More recently I meet fewer people but get to know them better. And there is no group like the one here. Most of them really care about each other. I would hate to see someone so young give up on this site because of one bad experience. If my response had something to do with that, I wish to extend my sincerest apology.

Please stay. You have Nothing to be sorry for.

"Well, here I am."


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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:41 PM

KANEMAN


Quote:

Originally posted by JonnyQuest:
No, Rio. Please don't go because of one thread. Browncoats are the best people around. I'm 46 and I've met LOTS of people. My old job caused me to meet thousands of people a year. More recently I meet fewer people but get to know them better. And there is no group like the one here. Most of them really care about each other. I would hate to see someone so young give up on this site because of one bad experience. If my response had something to do with that, I wish to extend my sincerest apology.

Please stay. You have Nothing to be sorry for.

"Well, here I am."






RIO, I second JQ's post.

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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:43 PM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Quote:

Originally posted by kaneman:
Quote:

Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:


Funny finding you here FMF.
teach ...teacher ..teach

Hey sorry about the post in the "Why" thread, uncalled for I guess. I got a couple private e-mails that stated so...I thought you would get the joke...sorry if I offended .......



I actually found it amusing.


----
Bestower of Titles, Designer of Tshirts, Maker of Mottos, Keeper of the Pyre

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

FORSAKEN original


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Monday, October 23, 2006 3:49 PM

DONCOAT


Q: Why do male dogs lick themselves?
A: Because they can.

All things in moderation, fellow babies. Even moderation itself.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm pointin' right at it!

(Does double take at sudden double entendre of sig line.)

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Monday, October 23, 2006 4:18 PM

HELL'S KITTEN


Quote:

Originally posted by kaneman:
You filthy liar, I have a suspicion your thumb is at least knuckle deep in your a*s at this very moment.

...can't...stop...laughing...!!!

************************************************
Not captioned for the sarcasm impaired.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sara013

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Monday, October 23, 2006 4:28 PM

TRAVELER


Hello Rio:

If you feel you must leave for your own health than that is the important thing.

We discuss and disagree on this site on many topics.

But we are Browncoats. Your beliefs and your needs are the most important. I, for one, don't want you or anyone else to leave. Know I will understand your need to leave. Your well being is the important thing here. I have had my share of disagreements with some of the threads and posts that have been published on this site. And I know there are those who disagree with me at times. But I am not anyone's consience. Each of us has to decide our path in life. What is immoral to one person may not be to another.

Just know that I and I am sure all of us here do not want you to go.


Traveler

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Monday, October 23, 2006 4:37 PM

KANEMAN


Holy sh*t...I found the Cure.. I found the Cure...I found the CUURRREEE!!!For the guys who can't or won't knock out their noodle.....Hell's Kitten....Hell's Kitten...........My oh My...
*unzips pants, while yelling downstairs*
" NaNa shut the fu*k up I'm busy"

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Monday, October 23, 2006 4:37 PM

BRYANWITHAY1986

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Monday, October 23, 2006 4:55 PM

KANEMAN


PSST...Hey,...PSST ...bryan...use troll country for that. oh, welcome to FFF.net

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Monday, October 23, 2006 5:28 PM

KINGHENDRICK


I was actually born without genitals.. so i cant

Hail to the King baby!

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Monday, October 23, 2006 5:34 PM

NOSADSEVEN


Quote:

Originally posted by Calhoun:
Quote:

Finkyfun wrote:
Sunday, October 22, 2006 20:40
What kind of question is that?



Well.. If you look closely at the original post you might see that the question is in fact intended as a slack jawed commentary on the posting in general that has been occurring on site. The title question merely accentuates the point.

Or quite possibly I am a nutter..


*sigh*

This site ain't the site it used to be.



~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ain't. We. Just.

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Monday, October 23, 2006 6:27 PM

ATIGDNG




When will people start just voicing there oppinion... You guys are pretty harsh on Rio and me, He didn't ever say he was better or was looking down on anyone same with me, that it seems is just our beliefs are similar same as others heree think it is ok, just don't be so cruel to people who have those types of belief it wont help any.

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Monday, October 23, 2006 6:36 PM

COPTERDOC


I love this site . I can leave for a month. Come back and read a few threads and its like I never left.


"I do, but I like to hear you say it"

"They ain't all cute and cuddly like me"

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Monday, October 23, 2006 6:45 PM

CALHOUN


Quote:

JonnyQuest wrote:
Monday, October 23, 2006 10:44
If I get Calhoun right, the whole discussion is figurative, metaphorical, whatever-you-want-to-call-it. I believe it's a plea, a sad and weary plea, for more substance in our posts.



BINGO!!

Give that man a cigar!


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Monday, October 23, 2006 6:48 PM

CALHOUN


Quote:

kaneman wrote:
Monday, October 23, 2006 14:41
Quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Calhoun:
Come on! I know there are some wankers here.. I've read the posts"

You have a resounding answer..There are many sausage Samurai and bush beaters here.........



LOL Kaneman, I figured as much.

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Monday, October 23, 2006 8:11 PM

MINK


I want to thank you all, this was quite an amusing read. Props to ceiling cat!

I won't name names, because feelings are clearly getting hurt already, and kicking puppies was never my style, but some of the stuff on here was priceless.

I personally have never masturbated because I've always gotten so much play that it never even occurred to me...



"When I write my memoirs, that sh!t'll be in there, guaranteed."

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Monday, October 23, 2006 8:11 PM

MINK


I want to thank you all, this was quite an amusing read. Props to ceiling cat!

I won't name names, because feelings are clearly getting hurt already, and kicking puppies was never my style, but some of the stuff on here was priceless.

I personally have never masturbated because I've always gotten so much play that it never even occurred to me...



"When I write my memoirs, that sh!t'll be in there, guaranteed."

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Monday, October 23, 2006 8:24 PM

BABYWITHTHEPOWER


Quote:

Originally posted by traveler:
Hello Rio:

If you feel you must leave for your own health than that is the important thing.

We discuss and disagree on this site on many topics.

But we are Browncoats. Your beliefs and your needs are the most important. I, for one, don't want you or anyone else to leave. Know I will understand your need to leave. Your well being is the important thing here. I have had my share of disagreements with some of the threads and posts that have been published on this site. And I know there are those who disagree with me at times. But I am not anyone's consience. Each of us has to decide our path in life. What is immoral to one person may not be to another.

Just know that I and I am sure all of us here do not want you to go.



I agree with this whole heartedly. Traveler here and I have disagreed on quite a few topics and I think no less of him for it. Hell he's one of the few people on this site I enjoy disagreeing with.

Rio, a disagreement shouldn't be enough to make you leave, and if it is, than maybe you weren't a browncoat to begin with. That's for you to decide my friend, just know you're always welcome here. And on this topic, we'll agree to disagree.

Quote:

Originally posted by atigdng:
When will people start just voicing there oppinion... You guys are pretty harsh on Rio and me, He didn't ever say he was better or was looking down on anyone same with me, that it seems is just our beliefs are similar same as others heree think it is ok, just don't be so cruel to people who have those types of belief it wont help any.



He said that masturbation is wrong and immoral, implying that those of us that do it are wrong and immoral. He also compared us to lemmings, which isn't even a veiled attempt to insult our inteligence. I have no problem with voicing one's opinion, but take care how you voice them. If you don't want a confrontational reply, don't insult those you're writing to. And I'm sorry, I'm not going to take life lessons from a 15 year old. He hasn't even lived life yet, he's got no right to tell us how to live ours. It may be harsh but it's my opinion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'll be in my bunk.
http://www.myspace.com/babywiththepower
http://members17.clubphoto.com/michael809717/guest-1.phtml

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Monday, October 23, 2006 8:46 PM

6IXSTRINGJACK

[/i]


I know I said I was done here, but I noticed that this damn thread was still at the top. What a bunch of wankers. I'm glad Rio is still here. Sorry if I offended you. I don't like being talked to like a kid and I'm just a joker and I like making people laugh.

I saw this particular quote and I really couldn't resist:

Quote:

Originally posted by mink:
I personally have never masturbated because I've always gotten so much play that it never even occurred to me...



Ahhhhhh.... The true words of a closet masturbator. It's okay mink. We support your nasty habit, you freak you. I was a closet wanker before I even knew there was a word for it. I got a lot of action in high school and college, but it was never enough.

Sometimes I wanna hump this couch.... and sometimes I just wanna hump this lightpole.... or that tree....

"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." http://www.myspace.com/6ixstringjack

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Monday, October 23, 2006 8:57 PM

CALHOUN


Quote:

kaneman wrote:
Monday, October 23, 2006 15:26
Rio, "I am 15 years old, and see first hand what masterbation does to my friends"

Read that post... read it again... again.......slowly...one more time.......I won't bother with this, I could spend all night on this.... I am dieing right now!



I too was a tad perplexed with what Rio had to say. Seems a little bit too interested in watching his friends masturbate for my liking..

Now I like a good toss like the next bloke but if my friends were constantly spying on me they would end up getting a smack up the side of the head...

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006 1:06 AM

SIXSHOOTER


*Slicks back hair, Puts on old time announcer voice and holds hairbrush like it's just come down from the roof.*

"Aaand in this cor-ner weighing in at aprox-a-mately six-ty seven kilo-grams, the thun-der that gooooes down un-der, the un-dis-pu-ted king of the one fisted knockout, ladies and gen-tle-men, SIIIIIIIX SHOOOTERRRRRR!!!!!"

*Gets up, pulls dressing gown over head and begins shadowboxing.*

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006 1:14 AM

6IXSTRINGJACK

[/i]


That's me in the spotlight... losein' my religion.

"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." http://www.myspace.com/6ixstringjack

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006 1:52 AM

ZZETTA13


Has this been posted yet?

"Been a long time since anyone took a hold of my plow but me." Mal

wanking in space.....

Z

maybe JQ is right.We need some new questions.

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006 2:50 AM

ADAMWANKENOBI


Well, you know the old saying. 98% of people do it. The other 2% lie about it.

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006 3:01 AM

JONNYQUEST

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"


Quote:

Originally posted by zzetta13:
Has this been posted yet?

"Been a long time since anyone took a hold of my plow but me." Mal
wanking in space.....
Z
maybe JQ is right.We need some new questions.


I made a vaguish reference to it early in the thread.

And of course I'm right.

"Well, here I am."


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Tuesday, October 24, 2006 3:05 AM

JONNYQUEST

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"


Double post. *Doesn't feel like doin' the dance*

"Well, here I am."


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Tuesday, October 24, 2006 6:01 AM

SINGATE


Quote:

Originally posted by Adamwankenobi:
Well, you know the old saying. 98% of people do it. The other 2% lie about it.



I actually prefer the Dennis Miller line: "A recent study shows that 90% of all people masturbate...I'm thinking there is a 10% margain of error in that study."

I've seen a lot of good euphemisms for the act. My personal favorite is 'roughing up the suspect'.



_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006 6:32 AM

MINK


Quote:

Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:

I saw this particular quote and I really couldn't resist:

Quote:

Originally posted by mink:
I personally have never masturbated because I've always gotten so much play that it never even occurred to me...



Ahhhhhh.... The true words of a closet masturbator. It's okay mink. We support your nasty habit, you freak you. I was a closet wanker before I even knew there was a word for it. I got a lot of action in high school and college, but it was never enough.

Sometimes I wanna hump this couch.... and sometimes I just wanna hump this lightpole.... or that tree....





Gorramit! I should have known I couldn't put anything past you!

On a different note: the first person who used the word "immoral" deserved everything he got. Harsh is as harsh does.

"When I write my memoirs, that sh!t'll be in there, guaranteed."

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006 6:32 AM

MINK


Quote:

Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:

I saw this particular quote and I really couldn't resist:

Quote:

Originally posted by mink:
I personally have never masturbated because I've always gotten so much play that it never even occurred to me...



Ahhhhhh.... The true words of a closet masturbator. It's okay mink. We support your nasty habit, you freak you. I was a closet wanker before I even knew there was a word for it. I got a lot of action in high school and college, but it was never enough.

Sometimes I wanna hump this couch.... and sometimes I just wanna hump this lightpole.... or that tree....





Gorramit! I should have known I couldn't put anything past you!

On a different note: the first person who used the word "immoral" deserved everything he got. Harsh is as harsh does.

"When I write my memoirs, that sh!t'll be in there, guaranteed."

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006 9:30 PM

CALHOUN


Quote:

singate wrote:
Tuesday, October 24, 2006 06:01


I've seen a lot of good euphemisms for the act. My personal favorite is 'roughing up the suspect'.



Hahahahaha, Good euphemism!

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Wednesday, November 1, 2006 6:31 PM

CALHOUN


Quote:

pdcharles wrote:
Monday, October 23, 2006 07:00
Just ask Ceiling Cat....






Ceiling Cat is being overwhelmed here at the moment..

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Thursday, November 2, 2006 7:39 PM

KANEMAN


ROFL...Funny shit Calhoun

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Thursday, November 2, 2006 11:54 PM

EVILBUNGLE


Funniest Thread I have read in ages, thanks.

As to the question, No Comment!!

As to the comments and fighting,

The Price of free speach is such. "I don't agree with what you say, but I will die to protect your rigt to say it." but personal attacks achieve nothing.

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Friday, November 3, 2006 4:39 AM

CLJOHNSTON108


Quote:

Originally posted by singate:
I've seen a lot of good euphemisms for the act. My personal favorite is 'roughing up the suspect'.


Mine is "shaking hands with the unemployed".

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Friday, November 3, 2006 5:47 AM

ASARIAN


Quote:

Originally posted by Calhoun:

Come on! I know there are some wankers here.. I've read the posts.




You have no idea! ... And you never will.

N.B. The "Imponderables" invariably wind up talking about sex, too. But at least they allow for a suspension of disbelief. Something in the 'verse went bankrupt, it seems.


--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Friday, November 3, 2006 6:44 AM

CHAOTICAMBITION


ok, I couldn't resist...

on the topic of masturbation being immoral...
try healthy. men can develop Testicular cancer
if their prostate isn't excersized. so would you
rather there be an outbreak of cancer and have
men around the world die a horrid and painful death
instead of making themselves feel good? or would you rather
them replace it with sex and have another 1969 with everyone spreading STDs everywhere...go ahead you choose...

[img][/img]

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Friday, November 3, 2006 8:59 AM

DARKFLY


You know 95% of people admit to masturbating & the 5% which don't admit are lying it's true.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Things are about to get interesting...Define interesting...Oh GOD oh GOD we're all going to die.

Go to

to see my cool trailer.

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Friday, November 3, 2006 6:17 PM

ELDUSTO


I'm the 5 time Fist of Fury champion. ROFL!

Self Gratification Kills Kittens, and sometimes puppies.


http://www.geocities.com/neo_ultimate_d - The Homepage
http://www.myspace.com/eldusto - The Myspace page

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Saturday, November 4, 2006 6:19 AM

BROWNCOAT555


Quote:

Originally posted by babywiththepower:
Well, this topic really belonged in "Talk Story" and not where it's at, but there's no harm in it.

Fact of the matter is that the only people that don't are either unichs, comatose, dead, and/or have no hands. It's completely natural and nothign to be ashamed about. *****Hell, 90% of the people that do masturbate do it (at times) to calm there nerves rather than for any sort of sexual gratification*****. I'm sure you all know what endorphins are and the effects they have on the human brain. It's nothing to be offended about, and if you are, then you might have some growing up to do.



that is the sanest thing I've heard all week. You are absolutely right, as our stress levels go up, our need for this kind of release goes up as well.

It has nothing to do with whether we are misanthrops, anti-social, irreligious or any of the other 10 cent arguments you might hear on the subject. Perhaps some people can manage stress without it....GOOD FOR THEM!




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Saturday, November 4, 2006 6:59 AM

ZOID


Hello, my fellow Browncoats, and most especially Rio:

Regardless whether the original post was intended allegorically or not, the subject is a worthy one, of significance to both Firefly and human sexuality in our society. So I'd like to respond. But first, a little background music, from Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life", as found on Monty Python's Completely Useless Website:

Quote:

Title: Every Sperm Is Sacred
From: Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Transcribed By: unknown


There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists,
there are Hindus and Mormons and then
there are those that follow Mohammed -but-
I've never been one of them.
I am a Roman Catholic
and have been since before I was born,
and the one thing they say about Catholics is
they'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on, you're
a Catholic the moment dad came
...Because...
Every sperm is sacred,
every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate. (2x)
Let the heathens spill theirs,
on the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
each sperm that can't be found.
Every sperm is wanted,
every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed,
in your neighborhood.
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
spill theirs just anywhere
but God loves those who treat their
semen with more care.
(misc choruses)
Every sperm is useful,
every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's,
mine, and mine, and mine.
Let the pagans spill theirs
on mountain, hill and plain.
God shall strike them down for
each sperm that's spilled in vain.
(misc. choruses and finale)



While there are in fact numerous references to the masturbatory act in Firefly, the one nobody has mentioned thus far is perhaps the most applicable to the question of morality. From "Objects in Space" (as taken from the shooting script at twiztv.com):
Quote:

River comes into the hallway, touching the walls as she goes, looking at her hands. She finds BOOK and JAYNE, also in mid- conversation. Jayne is cooking scallion cakes on the griddle. Book is at the table.

JAYNE
So, like... never?

BOOK
Well, no.

JAYNE
Not ever never?

BOOK
Some orders allow Shepherds to marry,
but I follow a narrower path.

JAYNE
But, I mean, you still got the urge,
right? They don't cut it off or
nothing...

BOOK
(smiles)
No, I'm more or less intact. I just
direct my energy elsewhere.

JAYNE
You mean like masterbatin'?

BOOK
I hope you're not thinking of taking
orders yourself...

JAYNE
That'll be the day.

During all this, River wanders unnoticed right between the two of them. She turns to look at Jayne, who looks back guiltily.

JAYNE (cont'd)
I got stupid. The money was too good.

She turns, looks at Book, who is in her face, fiercely angry.

BOOK
I don't give half a hump if you're
innocent or not! So where does that
put you?

JUMP CUT back to reality -- the men are laughing, Book still sitting, and River has walked between them unnoticed. She heads to the foredeck hall as the men continue:

JAYNE
It ain't impossible! Saint Jayne,
It's got a ring to it.

BOOK
I'm just trying to remember how many
miracles you've performed.

JAYNE
I once hit a guy in the neck at five
hundred yards with a bent scope,
don't that count upstairs?

BOOK
Oh, it'll be taken into
consideration...

JAYNE
Well you make that sound kinda
ominous...



Interesting to note, at least to my way of thinking, is the juxtapostion of Book's beliefs on the sex act, whether with others or solitarily, and his venomous, "I don't give half a hump if you're innocent or not..." He is consciously speaking with Jayne about the specific subject of his vow of celibacy, while simultaneously using the expression 'half a hump" subconsciously... Outwardly, he is expressing his devotion to a loving and caring God, while subconsciously denying the principle tenet of Jesus' teachings: Love others without judging them, without condemning them, lest you be judged and found wanting yourself by The True Judge.

So, to those who say, 'We are better than animals because we deny the urges that all animals have', I say, 'Repressing your natural, healthy urges is more damaging to your psyche than overindulging them.' I emphasize 'natural, healthy urges', because there are hurtful destructive urges -- the 'burn, pillage, rape, loot' urges that surface in extreme situations -- that also appear to be a common part of being human, and which must be controlled. (All together, class) Because they are hurtful to others.

Rio:
If you're still around to read this, being a fifteen year old guy is a tough thing. You don't have the experience necessary to see that the thing you're worrying about -- whatever it happens to be, today -- is actually of very little consequence when viewed over the entirety of your hopefully full lifespan.

Relax a little. Life isn't a test. It's a lesson. It teaches, sometimes painfully, but it does not Judge. People do that, but not Life itself. So, learn the lessons Life has to offer you, and don't worry too much about what people think. Most of them are 'blind' to Life anyway, a myopia they inflict upon themselves by means of overly rigid dogmatic 'brainwashing'. Don't allow Them to talk you into being Myopic, too, just to gain their approval. It is not their approval you need, but your own...

In the words of my Lord, who forgives us for being human 'animals':
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9



Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'

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Saturday, November 4, 2006 9:30 AM

IHEARTFIREFLY


Ok, I've been silent up until now because I hate conflict, but I feel there really is a side of this "debate", if you will, that has been sorely ignored.

Our natural, healthy urges are for sexual fulfillment- from sex, through a relationship. If we were supposed to naturally masturbate, God would have somehow given women penises for hands and given men, I don't know, something, well, I don't know- It's a creepy thought. I just read this a few weeks ago and I thought it was a great summary. It's from Stephen Arterburn's Addicted to Love:

Quote:

Compulsive masturbation, built on fantasy (and/or) pornography, is an espace from intimacy. A person who is a compulsive masturbator will be unable to experience genuine intimacy. Sex becomes a one-sided process of self-gratification. The addict would rather masturbate than take time to develop a relationship. Expecting marriage to eliminate the drive to masturbate, the addict soon finds that intimate sex is too much trouble and returns to the compulsion.

Everyone needs to be nurtured, to feel loved, to feel love toward another. But love is risky. Love holds the possibility of rejection or disappointment. The masturbator finds it easier to fall back on self-gratification. What seems to many like a harmless habit becomes a trap that blocks out others and forces the addict to suffer alone.



I'm not saying it is the worst evil a person can commit by any means, but I have seen it hurt relationships time and time again- including my own.

And, Zoid:
Quote:

"In the words of my Lord, who forgives us for being human 'animals':
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9



Ok, while that is so very true, incredibly beautiful, and even hard to fathom at times, it does not stop there by any means. God doesn't just tell us not to do stuff because he wants to be mean- He KNOWS that the things we call "natural urges," if gratified in counterfit ways, can hurt us, hurt our relationships, and hurt our self-perception. He only says, "No" to protect us in the long-run.

Ok, I'm sorry, folks, for the rant. :) I have never done this before, but I just hate it when the minority is misunderstood.

~Natalie :)





"Can't take the sky..."

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