The Flash: An Honest Review by 6ixStringJack

CINEMA

The Flash: An Honest Review

POSTED BY: 6IXSTRINGJACK
UPDATED: Tuesday, September 19, 2023 01:40
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VIEWED: 429
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Saturday, August 26, 2023 9:01 PM

So... Anybody who's bothered reading any of my thoughts on movies knows two things about me. I don't watch a lot of them, particularly anything new, and I am no fan of the Superhero Genre in general.

Well... Three things, really. I love to watch Superhero movies fail.

But my old man surprised me and wanted to see The Flash. You see, Time Travel in movies and TV shows happens to be something that he and I are very big fans of. And though I realize that when left to the devices of the morons being put in charge of directing, writing and producing things these days, the Multiverse usually ends up being a pile of rubbish because it is just a device to promote lazy writing and easy justification for woke nonsense... I don't inherently hate the concept. It SHOULD be a great tool for writing, and in some cases like Spider-Man: No Way Home it was.

And let's face it... Michael Keaton IS Batman.

So I said, what the hell. Let's watch it.

And I was amazed.

The Flash is actually a VERY GOOD movie. Dare I say, it was a borderline Great movie. It certainly was Great in comparison to the other movies in the genre, in any event.

In fact, although my dad doesn't agree with me (and he's seen a LOT more comic book movies than I ever will), I rank it among my Top 5 Superhero Movies of all time.

And I think the first thing I'd have to mention about this movie in a review would be the lead actor Ezra Miller. Boy oh boy... That dude. What a trainwreck of a person in real life. Between the "I am god" tweets, the drag dressing in public, the They/Them pronouns, the arrests, the stuff with minors... Not a great dude. And such an easy person to hate when all of the usual Lefty subjects blew the guy 24/7 all the way up until this movie was a flop of epic proportions.

But here's the thing. Ezra Miller can act his ass off. Having never seen ANY Flash properties on screens big or small before, or anything that Miller was ever in, I went into this with below-zero expectations expecting to hate it. Not only didn't I hate the movie, but I didn't even mind the first act where there was little more going on than two Ezra's. He did a great job playing both of them, and there wasn't a second during the movie where I didn't believe that they were actually two characters played by two actors in the same room together. And the emotional scenes... Particularly one toward the very end of the movie with his mother... That dude can shed crocodile tears on command.

This leads me to a bigger point that I can only hope Hollywood figures out in 2023 and corrects going forward.

PUT CLAUSES IN THE CONTRACTS OF ALL OF THE DIRECTORS, WRITERS AND ESPECIALLY ACTORS THAT THEY NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, STAY COMPLETELY OFF TWITTER, AND REMAIN OUTSIDE OF THE PUBLIC EYE EXCEPT FOR WHEN THEY'RE PROMOTING THEIR FLIMS.

And even when they are promoting the films, keep it short, sweet and to the point, and don't inject any of their Lefty ideologies into those interviews.

As much as it PAINS me to admit it, Ezra Miller is a phenomenal actor. So good, in fact, that within about 10 minutes of watching The Flash I wasn't thinking about what a dirtbag he is in real life or even the name Ezra Miller. I was watching The Flash.

And bringing back Michael Keaton's Batman? Genius.

It felt so good in the nostalgia-bones watching that Tim Burtonesque Batman all while hearing that Danny Elfman Batman Theme music playing. Did they turn Bruce Wayne/Batman into a bitter old man that lost his way? Yeah... Kind of. At least when you first see him. In this timeline, Gotham City has become one of the safest places in the country and Batman wasn't needed anymore. But instead of just shitting all over old heroes like Disney enjoys doing in Star Wars and with Indiana Jones, an at-first-somewhat-reluctant Batman comes out of retirement to aid The Flash from another universe to save their own. And even when faced with an army of super-human adversaries that this particular Bruce Wayne/Batman in this particular universe never had to face, he was willing to put his life on the line to do what was right.

And I won't say anything much about Supergirl other than I didn't mind her. Even given the superhuman powers of a Kryptonian, she was not the typical invincible Mary-Sue "girl power" character we've all come to know and hate in modern cinema. Though she doesn't get a ton of screen time in this movie, you get the sense that she's got actual relatable character flaws, she failed in her mission, you see her being weak and vulnerable and you never had the feeling that she couldn't die because of woke plot armor.

If I have one thing I hate about the culture-war in Hollywood more than anything else now, it's that the return of Michael Keaton's Batman ended up becoming one of the biggest Hollywood flops of all time. Especially when it was all done so goddamned well.

And to wrap it up, they did at the end of this movie what seems so hard for Hollywood to do. They stuck the landing. Just like they did in No Way Home. Instead of choosing to use some great magical McGuffins to give everyone the happy Hollywood ending everyone "deserves" they chose to take the more difficult path that demanded sacrifice and real loss. It actually meant something.

And if you don't get a great laugh out of the last 30 second scene of the movie, you either didn't grow up through the 80's and 90's or you're a cyborg.

The Flash is a 5 Star Superhero movie.

If you haven't seen it, and you probably haven't, you should.

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Monday, September 18, 2023 6:12 PM

JAYNEZTOWN

Honest Trailers | The Flash

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Tuesday, September 19, 2023 1:40 AM

6IXSTRINGJACK

They're wrong.

It's easy to shit on the movie when nobody wanted to see it.

And you're doing yourself a GREAT disservice if you watched that YouTube video before watching The Flash.

It's actually a great flick as far as superhero movies go.

I think once the woke culture dies, history is going to look more kindly on it than they do right now.

I know the fact that I don't care much for the genre might make one conclude that I'm not an expert on it and that invalidates my opinion, but to anyone who said that to me I'd just point out that I'm among the people who wanted this movie to suck more than anybody else, yet my review after seeing it is almost as good as Stephen King's review of it was.

And as much as it pains me to admit to anyone that I share any opinions with Stephen King on anything, well... here we are.

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How you do anything is how you do everything.

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