Busted Gut : Favorite Funny Scenes/Lines by serrada

FIREFLY EPISODE DISCUSSIONS

Busted Gut : Favorite Funny Scenes/Lines

POSTED BY: SERRADA
UPDATED: Wednesday, September 7, 2016 18:12
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Thursday, March 16, 2006 2:16 PM

BROWNCOAT2006

Don't know why, I know it is supposed to be a touching and sterring moment w/e, but from the BDM: Mal: I've tired of sitting and right now I plan to misbehave. Or something along those lines, kinda gave me the giggles and my dads all WTF?? 'Cause he hadn't watched Firefly B4.... I changed that don't worrie none!!! *First person that I converted*

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Thursday, March 16, 2006 3:03 PM

VONBRUMBACH

I love the scene from the beginning of "Trash", when Mal's friend is leaving Saffron / Brigit behind, and bellows over the exterior loudspeakers :

" I SHAVED MY BEARD FOR YOU, DEVIL-WOMAN !!! "

And then there's the scene from "Out of Gas" where Zoe and Mal first met Jayne :
I think Mal lead it : "So, who you figure tracked us ?"
Zoe " The ugly one ... "
Mal, looking over Marco and his thugs : "Can you be a bit more specific ?"

And one more - from the same "Out of Gas"

In a flashback to Mal buying Serenity :

Mal : "So, what do you think ?"
Zoe : "Honestly Sir, I think you got robbed."
Mal : "... we get us a machanic, and a pilot. Live like real people ..."
Zoe : "So, she's not running."
Mal : "Not so much, no."
Zoe : "Oh yea. This keeps gettin' better and better."

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Thursday, March 16, 2006 9:23 PM

SANKACOFIE

So many to choose from... the exchange between Kaylee and Simon in Jaynestown was cute.

Kaylee: See! You're doing it right now! What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black.

Simon: It means more out here. It's all I have. I mean... My way of being polite, or however it's...well, it's the only way I have of showing you that I like you. I'm showing respect.

Kaylee: So, when we made love last night...

Simon: When we WHAT?

Kaylee: You really are such an easy mark.

as far as individual lines... Wash has the most and the best:

Wash: Oh my god, it's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar.

Wash: Everything looks good from here...Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... "This Land." I think we should call it "your grave!" Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die! Oh, no, God! Oh, dear God in heaven!

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Friday, March 17, 2006 6:09 AM

RHODRI

C'mon folks, the entire scene where Jayne offers Vera in exchange for Saffron! Cracks me up every time!

Although in fairness there's a gorram lot of 'em!

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Friday, March 17, 2006 11:04 AM

LADYSERENITY

Oh there are so many! I like the line
"Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys?"
I can't remember exactly how it went,I'm having a brain cramp.
Also in "Our Mrs. Reynolds" after Saffron tells Mal about her life in the maiden house and how she cried when they gave her to him.
Mal looks at himself "Is there blubber?"

In "Heart of Gold" after Nandi kisses Mal
"Just waiting to see if I pass out."

Other classics are Book's "special hell" and River and his hair and Zoe's expression, "whoah"
There are of course sooo many more!

I love my captain!

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Friday, March 17, 2006 3:26 PM

DANIELFYRE

They're all great but one that I can't believe hasn't been mentioned yet (and yes I have read every post...and yes I have no life) is:

Wash: Psychic though? That sounds like something out of science fiction
Zoe: Honey, we live on a spaceship
Wash: So?

And the other one was something so simple it wasn't even a word but a mere sound by Mal. When he first opens the crate and sees River his "heh" sound with a slight nod when I first saw that oh man I was done. I knew this show was AMAZING and from that point on I was hooked namely because that woulda been my reaction.

-Dan

Ain't that just shiny?

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Friday, March 17, 2006 4:32 PM

INDYBLUES

Favorite scene is in Objects in Space, when Mal and Jubel are duking it out in the hall, and Jayne is startled awake by the fight, and he pulls the blanket off the wall, exposing his entire arsenal of deadly weapons,...which you would assume he would grab one, and go kick some butt,....yet, he rolls over and covers himself with said blanket, and goes back to sleep.
Classic, and had me cracking up for about 5 minutes after.
'Blues

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Saturday, March 18, 2006 9:49 AM

CABOT

I love all the items in this list, but I don't think this one has been mentioned yet.
_________

In the series pilot, Serenity prior to their meeting with Patience, Jayne tests the radio transmitters.

JAYNE
Testing. Testing, Captain, can you hear me?

MAL (deadpan)
I'm standing right here.

JAYNE
(into comm)
You're coming through good and loud.

MAL
'Cause I'm standing right here.

JAYNE
Yeah, well... but...

____________

River: Midbulk transport. Standard radion accelerator core class-code 03-K64. Firefly.

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Saturday, March 18, 2006 8:43 PM

LYNXCAT

Ah its like looking thru a wonderful scrapbook reliving these scenes/lines.

My favorite from FF: Bushwhacked when Zoe is being interrogated and refusing to comment on her marriage vs. the immediate cut to Wash gushing about Zoe's legs and the place where they meet her butt.

From the BDM: I often watch it in subtitles when I'm on the treadmill and the discussion that continues between Zoe and Jayne after Mal continues thru to Kaylee- They're talkinga bout the grenades and Zoe is nearly inaudible when she responds, "Jayne, we're robbing the place, not occupyin' it." (paraphrased).

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Monday, March 20, 2006 3:02 PM

LADYSERENITY

I watched Serenity parts one and two last night and I love the part where Mal kind of grunts after seeing River in the cryo case! I also thought of another one it is not a line but another Mal moment (i love him!) In Our Mrs. Reynolds when Saffron says "But Mr. Reynolds, I'm your wife" and Mal stands there, his eyes go wide, and he blinks disbelieving!

I also noticed in Serenity part two after they talk with Patience " I think that woman's plannin on shootin me again" ( or something close to that )

Lady Serenity

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Tuesday, March 28, 2006 7:49 PM

ROLANDREYNOLDS

Jayne: Saint Jayne, it kinda has a ring to it.

Book: I'm just trying to remember how many miracles you've performed.

Jayne: I once hit a guy at 500 yards with a bent scope, don't that count for something upstairs?

Book: Oh, I think it will be taken into consideration.

Jayne: You made that sound kinda ominous.

(Objects in Space)

Also one I'm surprised hasn't been posted already:

Mal: You know they say to never hit a man with a closed fist, but it is on occasion, hilarious.

(Train Job)

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Wednesday, March 29, 2006 4:51 PM

USAGIVINDALOO

110 responses and still not one of my favourite?

KAYLEE: Been goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin twixt my nethers that weren't run on batteries...
MAL: Oh GOD! Kaylee, I CAN'T KNOW THAT!!
JAYNE: I could stand to hear a little more.

Classic.

(apologies for paraphrasing)

"This must be what going mad feels like."

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Monday, April 3, 2006 5:48 AM

LAVACHE

Mine is from the deleted scene on "Our Mrs. Reynolds."

When River says "I'll knit." It just gets me every time. The delivery was so perfect.

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Monday, April 3, 2006 6:24 AM

ACRAZYIVAN

Where could I find that 13 minute gag reel?

"We've gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero."

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Monday, April 3, 2006 7:43 AM

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN

my personal faves are "we are just to pretty for God to let us die"

"everything looks good from up here. yes this is a fertile lan and we will thrive, we will rule ove all this land and we will call it... this land" I forget the chinese version but mal's response to a vera for saffron trade was something like this" the explosive diareah of an elephant

& so many others but I don't have the time

p.s. will someone tell me how I can post links

no signatures today as I am a lazy bum

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Monday, April 3, 2006 11:02 PM

ANGELICDEATH

Well aside from the whole episode of Jaynestown I would have to say the exchange below is a favorite...

Jayne: It is my very favorite gun.
(holds it out to Mal)

MAL:(beat)[Chinese] - You offering me a trade?!

JAYNE: A trade?! Hell, it's theft. It's the best damn gun
made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It's
miles more worthy than what you got.

MAL: What I got? She has a name.

JAYNE: So does this. I call it Vera.

MAL: Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly
coming to a middle.

and.....

MAL
Jayne!
(beat)
Go play with your rain stick.

***************************************
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

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Tuesday, April 4, 2006 12:09 AM

WASHSYOUNGERSEXIERBR

Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges

My favourite has to be in ariel when mal jayne and zoe are rehearsing for their paramedic job:
Simon: what about the cordical electrodes
Jayne: err.... We forgot em

Immense humour

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 11:52 AM

CHLORR

Quote:
Originally posted by daveshayne:

Though my favorite line also delivered by Zoe(though considering the situation it is delivered in I wouldn't call it exactly funny) is, "If they board us they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we're very lucky they will do it in that order."

Although it was totally inappropriate, I laughed for about ten minutes at that.

Also, as in my sig, I like: "My food is problematic."

My food is problematic.

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 12:11 PM

JOSSISAGOD

I loved EVERY line. But two of my favorites are:

Mal: Well, My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.

and Adam from the outtakes:

Adam as Jayne: Dammit, Mal, I forgot my line.

Okay three of my favorite lines,

Inara refering to Fess higgins "you mean you actually know Jayne."

Inara: Jayne, Jayne Cobb, you're talking about Jayne Cobb.

JOSSIS(Most Definitely)AGOD

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Sunday, April 9, 2006 4:54 PM

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN

after re-watching all the episodes (for the hundredth-millionth time) I found a couple more in Trash : after Mal sees Yo-saff-bridge ang they have gun trained on each other

Monty: So, you guys have met
and
after wash asks what she's doing on the ship
Jayne: Okay, I got a question, if she's got all the codes why don't she just steal it herself?

Yo-saff-bridge(sarcasticly) Good point

it's my insanity that keeps me sane hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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Monday, April 10, 2006 2:01 AM

SERVANTOFKUSHIEL

Mal: He might come back and hug us to death.

Yosaffbridge: You guys were war buddies right? I smelled that.

Inara: I wonder if it works. Oh well, this one works just fine.

Mal: I hate to interupt your CRAZY TIME.

Jayne: Can I start getting sexed now?

Mal: That one's kinda hideous.

Zoe: Im sorry, you were going to ask me to choose, right?

Simon: We should probably get some rest. It's been an long day what with the abduction and all (or something along those lines).

River: He takes so much looking after.

Jayne: Oh Kaylee, you was just wishing he was a gynocologist.

Jayne: Im smelling a lot of if coming off this plan.

Wash: Can I make a suggestion that doen't involve violence or is this the wrong crowd?

And in closing-Nathan: how would like a bite of that green apple America?

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Monday, April 10, 2006 2:42 AM

SIXSHOOTER

Quote:
Originally posted by chlorr:
Quote:
Originally posted by daveshayne:
Also, as in my sig, I like: "My food is problematic."

I always saw that as kinda sad.
She couldn't just have fun with that ice cream planet.

My favorite has to be in "Heart of Gold."

Jayne: Don't see much point getting involved in other people's troubles without an up-front price negotiation.

Zoë: As I said, no-one's forcing you to go. This job is purely speculative.

Jayne: Good. Don't know these people, don't much care to.

Mal: They're whores.

Jayne: I'm in.

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Monday, April 10, 2006 9:13 AM

LILKAYLEE29

River to Simon in Objects in Space?: I'll knit!!

also River to Simon in Out of Gas: You are such a boob!!

Jayne in Ariel in the hospital: We applied the cordical electrodes but was unable to get a neural reaction from either patient. lol He was determined he was going to say those lines he had learned all day....

I'm a leaf on the wind....Watch how I soar.

Wash: Captain, don't you know kissin' girls makes ya sleepy? Mal: Sometimes I just can't help myself.

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Monday, April 10, 2006 9:31 AM

LILKAYLEE29

Don't forget Mal: TRAAP!!!!
or

Mal: Don't tell me what to f***k'n g**damn do, It's my ship!!

or

Mal: Kaylee, find the kid takin' a dirt nap with baby jesus, we need a hood ornament!!

Wash: Oh my god, we're all doomed, who's flying this thing?!!...oh right that would be me, well back to work.
All priceless!!!

I'm a leaf on the wind....Watch how I soar.

Wash: Captain, don't you know kissin' girls makes ya sleepy? Mal: Sometimes I just can't help myself.

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 2:12 AM

J6NGO1977

I think i have answered this but there are So many funny scenes in Firefly. 'Mrs Reynolds' is the best example. The whole 'You have a wife?' scene at the beginning, Jayne: 'How come you get a wife and all I got was a dumb ass stick, that sounds like it's raining?'. Inara: 'Mal be a human being for once!'. Later on, Book: 'That special Hell' talk. That episode is pure comic gold. Makes me laugh out loud until i'm crying everytime :)

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 8:36 AM

INDIGOSTARBLASTER

I loved all of these, but here's one more, from "Heart of Gold":

MAL: I'll introduce you to the others later. They're good folk.

JAYNE: Woo hoo! My John Thomas is 'bout to pop off and fly around the room, there's so much tasty in here!

MAL: 'Course, that one's sorta horrific.

Lordy, what would Jayne's mother say :)

Indigo S.

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 9:39 AM

AZHEA

Now, you must remember its a very tense scene... in War Stories when Mal and Wash are being tortured and keep arguing about Zoe and Wash has enough and says, "Screw you!!" Mal simply replies, "Get in line!"

I laugh everytime, caught in the moment and then WAM!!!

Another tense scene, in BDM, after they get back from the heist when the Reavers attack. Zoe is asking Mal about the man he pushed off the mule, "Mule won't run with five. I should've dumped the girl? Or you? Or Jayne? (beat) Oh, Jayne..."

Hi-larious!!!

And, as has been said... every moment we get to spend with our BD Heroes is treasure!

*************************************************
I look out for me and mine... that don't include you 'less I conjure it does.

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 10:13 AM

COMICGIRL

Oh so many!
These aren't fall down funny, but still chucklesome.

From Serenity
Jayne:Here's a little concept I been workin' on. Why don't we shoot her first?
Wash: It is her turn.

The Train Job
Mal: Whatever happens, remember I love you.
Zoe: Sir?
Mal: Because you're my wife.
Zoe: Right. Sir. Honey.

Bushwhacked
Simon: Oh yes, he's a real beast. It's a wonder you're still alive.
Jayne: Looked bigger when I couldn't see him.

Shindig
Wash: You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?
Jayne: I'll chip in.
Zoe: I can hurt you.

That'll do for now I think.

I don't care what you believe in, just believe in it.

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Thursday, April 13, 2006 12:37 PM

FARFLY

Mal: If I'm not back, you take this ship and come rescue me.

Zoe: What? Risk my ship?

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Friday, April 14, 2006 2:07 AM

J6NGO1977

yep I love shindig. As you can see from my auto its 1 of my funniest scenes . Mal: 'can we get an invite' . Badger: 'Course you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle but I got my hands on a couple'. Mal and Jayne cant stop laughing and Badger doesn't realise what he said. One of my most favourite comic moments :)

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Sunday, April 16, 2006 3:32 AM

NATEM

Another part from shindig I really liked was when Kaylee was talking with all the guys about engines. She just seemed so pleased, especially when the guy asks her to dance but everyone else won't let her go. Plus she shows up the guy about the 80-10 machines.

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Wednesday, April 26, 2006 6:00 AM

FOEHAMMER

One of my favorites:

(Jaynestown)
Simon: "Could I see a menu?"

Cook: "A What?"

_____________________________

Simon: (seeing that the statue is Jayne)"Son of a Bitch!"

_____________________________

(Shindig)
Mal: "Mercy is the sign of a great man. -Stab- I'm a good man. -Stab- I do okay."

It's been a good while since anyone but me touched my plow, so don't think I ain't interested....

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Wednesday, April 26, 2006 8:09 AM

ELOISA

The first time I saw the pilot episode I laughed out loud at the sight of Kaylee sitting in that chair on Serenity's ramp twiddling her parasol. It was so completely incongruous beside the very functional (to say the least of it) ship. She's so sweet!

***
http://forums.ffonline.com/forumdisplay.php?f=19
Creative Writing

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Friday, April 28, 2006 8:38 AM

GROOVYAL

wash: i've got a question!
saffron: you're asking yourself, if it is so easy why i dont go an grab it myself
wash: no actually i was asking myself... WHAT IS SHE DOING ON THIS SHIP!!!!

...
Jayne: Now i've got a question! If it is so easy why dont you go and grab it yourself
saffron: goooood point!!! ....

i luv that one!!!

----------------------------
Well! If it aint somethin'!

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Sunday, April 30, 2006 12:21 AM

FREDIKAYLLOW

The first time i watched it, i thought the whole torture scene in War Stories was hi-larious. Y'know, arguing about a woman whilst in severe amounts of pain is just so damn trivial, but then i realised what Mal was doing, trying to keep Wash from breaking and all that.
Oh, and also Early in OiS. He and Simon are searching for River, and suddenly he stops and...
licks the ship?
made me piss myself with laughter.

No Power In The 'Verse Can Stop Me

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006 4:32 AM

LYSCAT

There are so many one liners that became even more funny at the actors/characters expressions in saying ir reacting to it. My thoughts are all a flutter, I can't get one quote straight.

In the deleted scene between Simon and River in OMR, oh that was just priceless. I cracked up so hard, and Summer Glau pulled it off to a T.

----------------------
May the feas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who has ruined your day, and may their arms be too short to scratch~Anonymous

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Wednesday, September 7, 2016 12:19 AM

THGRRI

Quote:
Originally posted by christhecynic:
For me it will always be the scene leading up to, "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

At one point I was doing something else and I noticed that that scene was running in the background, muted, it was still hilarious.

____________________________________________

Russia trolls get contract extension
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Wednesday, September 7, 2016 4:36 AM

MOOSE

Quote:
Originally posted by ACrazyIvan:
Where could I find that 13 minute gag reel?

"We've gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero."

Anyone know where you can find the extended Serenity gag reel?

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Wednesday, September 7, 2016 4:43 AM

MOOSE

Quote:
Originally posted by THGRRI:
Quote:
Originally posted by christhecynic:
For me it will always be the scene leading up to, "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

At one point I was doing something else and I noticed that that scene was running in the background, muted, it was still hilarious.

____________________________________________

Russia trolls get contract extension
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I always loved how NO ONE went to check on Jayne after he passed out, they just continued the conversation.

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Wednesday, September 7, 2016 4:43 AM

MOOSE

I remember getting a real strange look from my GF at the time when she caught me laughing at Mal and Wash's conversation while they were getting tortured by Niska. She hadn't been watching the show and was just passing through the room.

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Wednesday, September 7, 2016 4:03 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Quote:
Originally posted by Moose:
I remember getting a real strange look from my GF at the time when she caught me laughing at Mal and Wash's conversation while they were getting tortured by Niska. She hadn't been watching the show and was just passing through the room.

She didn't know torture can be fun that way?

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Wednesday, September 7, 2016 6:12 PM

THGRRI

It was pretty funny. And well acted.

____________________________________________

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