Lost in French Translation, Part 08: Out of Gas by fortinm

FIREFLY EPISODE DISCUSSIONS

Lost in French Translation, Part 08: Out of Gas

POSTED BY: FORTINM
UPDATED: Thursday, January 3, 2008 19:45
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VIEWED: 2846
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Wednesday, January 2, 2008 1:44 PM

This review is part of a series of articles analysing the translation work for the French dubbed Firefly series and movie(s). It is intended for anyone who would like to know a little better how a French audience would perceive Joss’ wonderful creation.

Introduction to this series: http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=31382
Previous review (Jaynestown): http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=31884
Next review (Ariel): http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=32220

The various excerpts analyses are formatted like this:
In bold is the original line.
In italic is the French translation replacing the original lines.
In bold and italic is my English translation of the French lines.
In regular text is my personal comment on the translation work for the excerpt.

General comments
The French translation for this episode is average. The quantity of mistakes is not huge but their severity is notable. On the other hand, Inara and Mal initial meeting scene is very well done. At least as good as the original, which has been a rare treat since I started these reviews.

There is also an aspect of the translation that I find quite fascinating. In the flashbacks (and only in the flashbacks) Zoe and Mal use the third person to address each other instead of the second person (vous instead of tu). I probably don't have to remind you that, in French, it is a mark of respect or distance between people. Having experienced the war in the same platoon, some of you may find this choice inappropriate. However, it adds some colors, some information, to these scenes and I very much like the added subtlety. Kudos for this choice!

The Chinese roster:
Omitted - When Zoe qualifies Serenity of fei-oo. They replaced it by the term rusted.
Kept - When Wash, on injured Zoe's side, tells Mal off.
Omitted - Jayne stopping Mal and Wash from fighting.
Kept - The ship's warning about the lack of oxygen.
Kept - When Mal sees Bester and Kaylee acting in a friendly manner.
Omitted - Mal's dong-ma to Kaylee.
Omitted - The captain qualifying Serenity of go se.

Translation score: 3/5
Chinese score: 3/7

Chosen Excerpts

ZOE
You paid money for this... On purpose?
On vous a donné de l'argent avec? Ou vous avez payé?
They gave you money with this? Or did you pay?
I have no problem with this translation. The joke is different but, at least, there's still a joke.

ZOE
Voilà!
Bon appétit!
Enjoy your meal!
That's rich! I fail to see the relevance of translating a French word into another French word.

JAYNE, INARA and MAL
- Aww, come on 'nara. Who'd know?
- You. Anyway, A Companion doesn't kiss and tell.
- So there is kissing?
- Ah! S'il-te-plaît, Inara. On est entre nous.
- Non. Une fille ne raconte pas ce qu'elle a fait.
- Ah! Donc tu en as fait.
- Aww, please Inara. We're between ourselves.
- No. A girl does not tell about what she has done.
- Ha! So you did some.
I prefer the original exchange, but I must admit that translating it from French to English has given me a new appreciation of the French line. It does sound a bit strange in French 'though.

RIVER
I didn't get you anything.
Je n'ai rien déchiffré.
I didn't decipher anything.
Sorry girl, I can't decipher what you're trying to say here. Is she crazy or what? Oh! Wait!

KAYLEE
In fact, it's pretty much what we just had for supper.
De toute façon, t'as intérêt à aimer, hein? Parce que y'a que ça à manger.
Anyway, you better like it, eh? Because there's nothing else to eat.
The translators have gone a bit too far. We don't know for a fact that they have nothing else to eat, but it's nonetheless a reasonable assumption. I'll let this pass.

WASH
I'll take a look at the helm.
Je vais vérifier le bouclier.
I'll check the shield.
Damn it Wash, you're not in Star Trek.

MAL
Seal off everything that leads below decks. Do it now.
Condamne les issues, je vais ouvrir l'arrière, vite!
Seal off the exits, I'll open the rear, quick!
And, then, he opens the front (the cargo bay)!

MAL
I need you up in the engine room, figuring out what caused this.
Va voir le propulseur. C'est peut-être lui qui a tout déclenché.
Go check the engine. Maybe that's what set off all this.
Mal is not supposed to have any technical knowledge. In the original line, we can feel that he's very much dependent on Kaylee. We don't feel it in French here.

WASH
You're strong. Strongest person I've ever met.
Tu es forte, encore plus forte que moi.
You're strong, even stronger than me.
Which is not saying much considering how weak he is. Hey! Don't crucify me! He said it first in "Our Mrs. Reynolds".

MAL
...now it's about time we hired someone to fly the damn thing.
Il nous faut bien ça pour que le vaisseau reparte.
We certainly need this to make the ship start again.
It's not clear but I think that, in French, Mal is talking about Bester the mechanic, not the moustached Wash.

KAYLEE
A couple of hours, maybe.
Y'en a pour deux heures, maximum.
It will take two hours, maximum.
"Maximum" is without a doubt closer to "maybe" in lips movement than the correct translation: "peut-être".

SIMON
She won't know it, but as long as her condition remains like this, she'll outlive us all.
Elle ne s'en rend pas compte, mais si son était reste comme il est là, elle sera la seule à survivre.
She doesn't realize it, but if her condition remains like this, she'll be the only one to survive.
What a stupid thing to say.

WASH
I guess the news that we're all gonna be purple and bloated and fetal in a few hours has made me little snippy.
Surtout que dans quelques heures, l'équipage au complet flottera dans le vide.
Especially since, in a few hours, the whole crew will float in a vacuum.
The translation is certainly less morbid and more inexact.

KAYLEE (asking Mal for a wrench)
Hand me that, will ya?
Tu peux me tenir ça?
Can you hold this?
It works only if she's talking to Bester, giving him the reg couple. I can accept that.

MAL (after asking that everybody be there later)
That's good.
À tout à l'heure.
See you later.
No comments.

See you later. Thanks for reading!

Michel

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Thursday, January 3, 2008 8:34 AM

MAL4PREZ

Gotta say, I find these really interesting. This one is particularly entertaining, as far as your comments go.

It's also cool to see how much meaning and information is in a single line of dialogue, and how a small shift in wording changes things. It explains why those writers (well, the good ones like the Joss and his posse!) should be pulling in the bucks. (I'm meaning a little rah-rah to the WGA folks there...)

So - thanks fortinm!

-----------------------------------------------
hmm-burble-blah, blah-blah-blah, take a left

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Thursday, January 3, 2008 7:45 PM

ASARIAN

Quote:
Originally posted by fortinm:

See you later. Thanks for reading!

Michel

You've done a man's job! Thanks, fortinm!

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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