Lost in French Translation, Part 10: War Stories by fortinm

FIREFLY EPISODE DISCUSSIONS

Lost in French Translation, Part 10: War Stories

POSTED BY: FORTINM
UPDATED: Thursday, January 31, 2008 19:25
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Thursday, January 24, 2008 4:40 PM

This review is part of a series of articles analysing the translation work for the French dubbed Firefly series and movie(s). It is intended for anyone who would like to know a little better how a French audience would perceive Joss’ wonderful creation.

Introduction to this series: http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=31382
Previous review (Ariel): http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=32220
Next review (Trash): http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=32543

The various excerpts analyses are formatted like this:
In bold is the original line.
In italic is the French translation replacing the original lines.
In bold and italic is my English translation of the French lines.
In regular text is my personal comment on the translation work for the excerpt.

General comments
For the first time, I was tempted to give this episode the lowest rating. Many of the scenes are changed to the point of making them confusing or unconvincing. There were so many that I didn't report all of them here. However, the translation does get somewhat better in the second half of the show, saving it from the most shameful of rating.

Translation score: 2/5
Chinese score: 0/7

Chosen Excerpts

BOOK and SIMON
- A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned.
- Now you're quoting the Captain.
- Un gouvernement, c'est beaucoup de personnes et ça peut venir de n'importe qui.
- Non. Pas d'après le commandant.
- A government is made from a lot of people and it can come from anybody.
- No. Not according to the captain.
This is quite a cryptic sentence. What can come from anybody? What they did to River or the government? The fact that Mal would not agree doesn't help to understand this scene.

MAL
I love the pitter-patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots. Shut up!
Excuse-moi, une petite parenthèse le temps de faire le silence. La ferme!
Excuse me, a small parenthesis while I bring some silence. Shut up!
Funnyless!

MAL
Don't worry. I won't start any swordfights. I'm over that phase.
Je ne regarderai pas par le trou de la serrure. J'ai passé l'âge de faire ça.
I won't look through the keyhole. I'm too old for this.
It's a pity to having removed this reference to Shindig.

KAYLEE and INARA
- She took my apple.
- Jayne bought a crate of them.
- ...
- Va en reprendre une autre. Il y en a plein.
- ...
- Go get another one. There are plenty of them.
Yep. That's right. They removed Kaylee's line. So, the viewer has no idea what Inara is talking about. Until Kaylee finally wins back her apple.

ZOE and WASH
- These really are the genuine article. I could get used to being rich.
- It's Jayne being so generous with his cut that confuses and frightens me.
- It does kind of freeze the blood.
- Il y en a qui ont fait fortune avec ça. Ça aurait pu être toi.
- Je me suis toujours demandé pourquoi tu éprouvais le besoin de les couper.
- Ça ne saigne pas, t'inquiète pas.
- Some people made a fortune with this. It could have been you.
- I always wondered why you felt the urge to cut them.
- It doesn't bleed, don't worry.
I think the translators wanted to pay tribute to Eugene Ionesco here! I just ain't seeing the why.

ZOE
You know what a Griswald is? (...) About the size of a battery. It responds to pressure. (...) Captain said, "Wait." But they were so hungry.
Vous connaissez l'histoire des fruits avariés? (...) Fonctionne sur pile solaire, réagit à la pression. (...) C'est efficace. T'as pas le temps de voir.
Have you ever heard the rotting fruits story? (...) Works on solar battery, reacts to pressure. (...) It's effective. You don't see it coming.

WASH
So, when you said that you didn't get a chance to tell the captain my idea... What you actually meant… was that you told him my idea, he rejected it out of hand... and you didn't argue the point or even give it another thought.
Donc, non seulement je n'ai pas eu le temps d'exposer mon idée au commandant... mais, si je te comprends bien, tu... tu lui as donné mon idée, la dernière chose à faire… sans essayer de m'en parler ou de réfléchir aux conséquences.
So, not only I didn't had time to expose my idea to the captain... but, if I understand correctly, you... you gave him my idea, the last thing to do... without even trying to tell me or to think of the consequences.
It makes it sound like Wash is angry that Zoe stole his idea instead of resenting her submissive behavior towards Mal. At least, they get back on track in the following lines.

ZOE and WASH
- 'Cause what this marriage needs is one more shouting match.
- No, what this marriage needs is one less husband. Right now it's kind of crowded.
- Mais si c'est pour que tu hurles, ce n'est pas la peine qu'on soit marié.
- Il faut bien que je me fasse entendre pour te rappeler que tu as un mari. Voilà, c'est tout ce que j'ai à dire.
- But if it makes you shout, our marriage isn't worth it.
- But I have to make myself heard to remind you that you have a husband. There, that's all I have to say.
Obviously, the argument is less severe in French.

JAYNE
I'll be in my bunk.
Je préfère pas voir ça.
I prefer not to see this.
The second time he pronounced this famous line, it's been translated to: Je vais me reposer, which means "I'll get some rest".

MAL
I'm lost. I'm angry. And I'm armed.
Je suis fatigué. Je suis énervé. Et je suis prêt à partir.
I'm tired. I'm annoyed. And I'm ready to go.
Talk about a flat punch line.

WASH
So now I'm learning about carrying?
Si c'est ça, je vais apprendre vite.
If this is it, I'll learn quickly.
No comments.

WASH
Now I'm learning about scary.
J'ai toujours aimé apprendre sur le tas.
I've always liked to learn on the job.
No comments.

MAL and WASH
- I didn't.
- You did.
- She ain't here, Wash. Okay.
- No, but she would have been.
- Okay.
- C'est pas vrai.
- Mais si!
- C'est elle qui t'a dit ça?
- Non, mais j'imagine.
- Alors, t'imagines mal.
- It isn't true.
- It is!
- She told you that?
- No, but I imagine.
- Then, you imagine incorrectly.
No comments.

JAYNE
Could be he's harbouring some resentment at us for putting his man through our engine.
Ça expliquerait son attitude envers nous. S'il n'y avait que moi, ça serait vite réglé.
That could explain his attitude towards us. If there was only me, it would be quickly settled.
How does the fact that Niska got his money back explain this kidnapping? What does Jayne means by "settled"? More likely, if it was just him, he would run away.

NISKA
(Some Russian (?) words.)
Fais le nécessaire. Tu vois ce que je veux dire.
Do what is necessary. You know what I mean.
Replacing every Chinese line with French words wasn't enough. They had to replace this one also! By the way, anybody knows what he's really saying?

BOOK
Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.
Tu ne tueras point. Et la Bible dit aussi qu'il faut aider un ami dans le besoin.
Thou shalt not kill. And the Bible also says that you have to help a friend in need.
No comments.

NISKA and MAL
- You died, Mr. Reynolds.
- Seemed like the thing to do.
- Vous y êtes passé, M. Reynolds.
- J'aurais bien voulu y rester.
- You passed away, Mr. Reynolds.
- I would have liked to stay there.
The French feels a bit wittier than my translation, but not much. And certainly less than the original dialog.

NISKA
- Many know he crossed Niska. They must know what happens after that.
- Mais beaucoup connaissent Ergos Niska. Elles devront savoir ce qui s'est passé après cela.
- But many know Ergos Niska. They must know what happened after that.
After what? After he "Ergos Niska"? This leads me to think that they were translating by listening to the original audio track. I'm sure they interpreted "he crossed" as being the character's name. I'm having a hard time believing they work without the script, but it's the only explanation I can see for this mistake.

MAL
Haven't you killed me enough for one day?
Qu'est-ce qu'ils font? Ils devraient déjà être là.
What are they doing? They should already be there.
No comments.

JAYNE and WASH
- Now something about that is just downright unsettling.
- We'll be in our bunk.
- Il y a des moments où je me demande vraiment ce que je fais avec ces gens-là.
- Bon. On va faire un p'tit tour.
- Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with these people.
- OK. We'll go for a walk.
For a third time, they botched this recurring joke.

Here's hoping for a better one next time. Thanks for reading!

Michel

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Thursday, January 24, 2008 7:39 PM

ASARIAN

Great job again, Michel! :) It's very late for me here, so I'll just comment on this one thing for now:

Quote:
Originally posted by fortinm:

NISKA
(Some Russian (?) words.)
Fais le nécessaire. Tu vois ce que je veux dire.
Do what is necessary. You know what I mean.
Replacing every Chinese line with French words wasn't enough. They had to replace this one also! By the way, anybody knows what he's really saying?

Browncoats.com lists it as Czech:

Day yim zato plahteck mahsah. ~ "They have enough for a slice." [Give them a slice of meat for it.]

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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Thursday, January 31, 2008 7:25 PM

MOBBEX

These translations are horrible, definitely one of the lamest jobs I've come across. Thank god I only listen to T.V. shows in their original versions, this kind of crap can seriously mess you up for life

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