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Originally posted by chrisisall:

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Originally posted by Storymark:

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Originally posted by chrisisall:

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Originally posted by cljohnston108:
Well, I myself can't stand Roland Emmerich's work

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I kinda liked The Day After Tomorrow.


The laughing Chrisisall

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What can I say? I likes me my cheese w/extra cheese on occasion. Never said it was a good movie, remember...


The laughing Chrisisall

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Originally posted by Storymark:

That's fine and all, but when you attack far, FAR better movies as "failures", then talk about liking utter crap..... credibility and all, ya know?

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Originally posted by Jongsstraw:
This always bothered me about the "great Star Wars trilogy".....

The last Jedis, Obi Wan and Yoda split up the twins of Darth Vader (Annakin Skywalker) so that neither Darth or the Emperor would ever know of their existence. Then they drop Luke off with Annakin's stepbrother Owen Lars, on Annakin's home planet of Tatooine, and he gets raised as Luke SKYWALKER. Might have been a wise idea to change his name, right? Before the modern-day "rebellion" what was Darth Vader doing anyhow? One trip to Tatooine would have revealed the truth about his son, but apparently he never went.

Also, in the first Star Wars, Leia is captured and brought on board Vader's ship. He physically touches her and holds her as her planet is being destroyed, but feels nothing from her? Cannot feel that she's his daughter? Sorry, that just don't fly.

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Originally posted by chrisisall:

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Originally posted by Storymark:

That's fine and all, but when you attack far, FAR better movies as "failures", then talk about liking utter crap..... credibility and all, ya know?

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I'd rather watch a movie that was designed as cheese, and is totally successful at it, than a movie designed as great SF, and is only partially successful at that.


The laughing Chrisisall

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Originally posted by Storymark:

I just have higher standards. ;)

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Originally posted by Stegasaurus:
So why is it that when we see "Phantom Menace" and on, ALL Jedi appear to wear the "Tattooine Commoner's Spring Fashion" line?

-Steg

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Originally posted by Jongsstraw:
This always bothered me about the "great Star Wars trilogy".....

The last Jedis, Obi Wan and Yoda split up the twins of Darth Vader (Annakin Skywalker) so that neither Darth or the Emperor would ever know of their existence. Then they drop Luke off with Annakin's stepbrother Owen Lars, on Annakin's home planet of Tatooine, and he gets raised as Luke SKYWALKER. Might have been a wise idea to change his name, right? Before the modern-day "rebellion" what was Darth Vader doing anyhow? One trip to Tatooine would have revealed the truth about his son, but apparently he never went.

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The official story is that he never returned to Tatooine because there were too many painful memories.

I agree, though, that the hiding place is ridiculous, since they hide Luke in the one place that Anakin WOULD be likely to go if he visited, under a recognizable name... and "Ben Kenobi" isn't really a great disguise either!

I suppose Kenobi and Yoda are banking on nobody realizing the Skywalker children survived, although it still seems to be a needless risk.

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Also, in the first Star Wars, Leia is captured and brought on board Vader's ship. He physically touches her and holds her as her planet is being destroyed, but feels nothing from her? Cannot feel that she's his daughter? Sorry, that just don't fly.

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The real-world solution is pretty simple: when STAR WARS was written, Leia wasn't his daughter. Even into early drafts of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, Vader and Anakin were two distinct characters (not to mention the fact that Leia's paternity was not addressed).

If you want to try to reconcile all the movies, though, I present two possibilities:

1) Vader DID know on some level... he just didn't want to acknowledge it. When he has Luke in his power, he doesn't WANT to kill him. Similarly, when he has Leia at his mercy, he many understand who she is on some level, but he's not looking to kill her. Even if he were to understood consciously, outing her is likely to get her in the clutches of either Tarkin or Palpatine (neither situation is in Vader's best interests).

2) "The dark side clouds everything." EVERYTHING. Including the perceptions of Vader and Palpatine. For a pair of dudes smart enough to take over the galaxy, the two Darths have a lot of blind spots when it comes to information. Perhaps that's a mix of arrogance and the murkiness of the dark side.




]

www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."

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Originally posted by chrisisall:

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Originally posted by GWEK:

Seriously? You're not even trying anymore!

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When I started the analysis of Waterworld, I found I did not want to write a whole BOOK on why it failed- I don't care enough about the flick. Sorry.


The laughing Chrisisall

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Originally posted by Mutt999:

Sunshine

Thought it was very good, up until the lame hack and slash ending.

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Originally posted by OPPYH:
Back to the Future 2, and 3.
They were not as good as the first one.

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Matrix 2, and 3.
Umm, they sucked.

Predators.
Non-memorable story.

King Kong(2002)
Pretty to look at, but a heartless, and unnecessary remake.

Aliens Vs. Predator
The best the writers could come up with was that? I can bang out a better screenplay in a weeks time. CGI from hell.

A.I.
Spielberg's quintessential nail in the coffin movie. He had Kubrick's blessing but not his vision. Colossal fail.

Star Wars episodes 1-3
"I hate sand, it gets in everything"
Anakin Skywalker

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Originally posted by chrisisall:

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Originally posted by OPPYH:
Back to the Future 2, and 3.
They were not as good as the first one.

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A rare disagreement (of a sort) here; individually you're right, but taken as a whole, all three are a great story IMO.

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Matrix 2, and 3.
Umm, they sucked.

Predators.
Non-memorable story.

King Kong(2002)
Pretty to look at, but a heartless, and unnecessary remake.

Aliens Vs. Predator
The best the writers could come up with was that? I can bang out a better screenplay in a weeks time. CGI from hell.

A.I.
Spielberg's quintessential nail in the coffin movie. He had Kubrick's blessing but not his vision. Colossal fail.

Star Wars episodes 1-3
"I hate sand, it gets in everything"
Anakin Skywalker

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While I kinda liked seeing A.I., I also feel like I might never watch it again. So, I guess I don't disagree on any particular point regarding the rest.


The laughing Chrisisall

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Originally posted by GWEK:

Not a comment on your analysis, but your choice. If you're throwing out WATERWORLD, what's next? ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES? PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE?

www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."

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Originally posted by Stegasaurus:
I would say that BttF 2 and 3 just didn't have the same feel as the original. Most likely because they were filmed at the same time.

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Originally posted by Storymark:

Waterworld ... dialog is written by Joss.

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Originally posted by Storymark:

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Originally posted by GWEK:

Not a comment on your analysis, but your choice. If you're throwing out WATERWORLD, what's next? ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES? PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE?

www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."

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Waterworld gets a bad rep from fanboys, but it has it's moments, made decent money, got decent reviews, and all the dialog is written by Joss. It aint THAT bad (okay, Hopper's character is...).

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."

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Originally posted by GWEK:


On the other hand, I think THE POSTMAN is actually very under-rated. I'm not saying that it's brilliant, but it's pretty compelling.

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Originally posted by chrisisall:

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Originally posted by Storymark:

Waterworld ... dialog is written by Joss.

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Holy Cow, I did not know that!

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Originally posted by GWEK:

On the other hand, I think THE POSTMAN is actually very under-rated. I'm not saying that it's brilliant, but it's pretty compelling. That, actually, is why I was willing to give WATERWORLD another chance.



www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."

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Originally posted by Storymark:

Waterworld gets a bad rep from fanboys, but it has it's moments, made decent money, got decent reviews

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Originally posted by Storymark:

It's funny, another writer whom I'm net-friends with, Pete Briggs (co-writer of the first Hellboy) met with the director of Waterworld, and pointed out that there's not enough water on the planet, even if all the ice melted, to totally submerge everything. He did not get a second meeting....

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Originally posted by chrisisall:

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Originally posted by Storymark:

It's funny, another writer whom I'm net-friends with, Pete Briggs (co-writer of the first Hellboy) met with the director of Waterworld, and pointed out that there's not enough water on the planet, even if all the ice melted, to totally submerge everything. He did not get a second meeting....

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"Don't complicate major motion picture production with simple physical realities" is the message here, I believe.

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Originally posted by chrisisall:
Case#12:



Sunshine

Apparent Causes of Suckitude-

A) So, re-start the Sun, eh? Is that like blowing on the embers of a dwindling camp fire? In a nucular way, I mean?
B) Alien much, Mr. Boyle?
C) Don't most folk COOK TO DEATH in unshielded Solar radiation?

Analysis:

A- The director clearly hired the science advisers from Rolland Emmerich's team for this flick.

B- Yeah, this was obviously a BLINDING re-make of the Ridley Scott classic.

C- Statistics reveal that one person in a googleplex will not die in this way, but instead go nutz & get real strong & look gross. That must have been The One...

So, yet ANOTHER pretty waste of time. *yawn* I was terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

Next case....??





The laughing Chrisisall

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Originally posted by chrisisall:
Case # 13:


(Maybe not the right picture)

The Island

Apparent Causes of Suckitude-

A) Logan's Run much, Mr. Bay?
B) Scarlett not naked?
C) Ummm... what was the point?

Analysis:

A- Shamelessly copying s**t is the sincerest form of flattery.

B- Major FAIL.

C- That we need to mindlessly go to & rent stupid movies to fuel the sagging economy-? That set-pieces make a film? That millions of dollars can be spent on this kind of crap instead of planning a manned Mars mission?

Bay delivers- to the wrong address.

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Originally posted by GWEK:

I'm sure someone COULD do an excellent, completely-scientifically-sound movie about an asteroid/meteor crashing into Earth, but would it be as entertaining as Bruce Willis yelling "I will dig that hole! I will make eight hundred feet!!!"

I think not!

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Originally posted by GWEK:
I'm sure someone COULD do an excellent, completely-scientifically-sound movie about an asteroid/meteor crashing into Earth, but would it be as entertaining as Bruce Willis yelling "I will dig that hole! I will make eight hundred feet!!!"

I think not!

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Originally posted by chrisisall:
Case # 13:


(Maybe not the right picture)

The Island

Apparent Causes of Suckitude-

A) Logan's Run much, Mr. Bay?
B) Scarlett not naked?
C) Ummm... what was the point?

Analysis:

A- Shamelessly copying s**t is the sincerest form of flattery.

B- Major FAIL.

C- That we need to mindlessly go to & rent stupid movies to fuel the sagging economy-? That set-pieces make a film? That millions of dollars can be spent on this kind of crap instead of planning a manned Mars mission?

Bay delivers- to the wrong address.

Next case............



The laughing Chrisisall

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Originally posted by chrisisall:

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Originally posted by Storymark:

Waterworld gets a bad rep from fanboys, but it has it's moments, made decent money, got decent reviews

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LOL, SO, is THIS the piece of crap movie that YOU like, Story? YOUR guilty pleasure?
The enjoyable cinematic dregs that make YOU like the rest of us?
Just a regular schlep?

COOL!




The laughing Chrisisall

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Originally posted by Storymark:

You want a piece of crap that I do enjoy watching, look no farther than any of the Highlander sequels.

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Originally posted by chrisisall:
Credibility gone.
There can be only one.





The laughing Chrisisall

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Originally posted by mal4prez:
Armageddon: are you kidding me Gwek? That is still the A #1 example of the non-stop Hollywood thrill ride that, by the 100th consecutive moment of “Oh-my-god-we’re-all-gonna-die-now-soon-and-I-do-mean-ALL-of-us” had me lolling back in my theater seat and somehow managing to roll my eyes while I yawned.

Not to mention that I went to the movie with petroleum engineers, who damned near jumped out of their seats yelling: “You would NEVER use that drill bit!”

The Day after Tomorrow: Next to Armageddon and the Core, possibly the worst science movie ever. But dammit, I LIKE this one! So I take back the disgust I aimed at you, Gwek.

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Originally posted by GWEK:
And, for the record, ARMAGEDDON's sciene is far superior to that of either THE CORE or THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW: while all are, at best, comic book-ridiculous

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If I want science, I'll read a book.

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Characters and conflict, not science or facts--or even accuracy--are at the heart of almost every really good movie.

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Originally posted by chrisisall:
Case #10:



Serenity

Apparent Causes of Suckitude-

A) Who ARE these people? The flick starts out like we should know...
B) There was a weird 'western' vibe running through it- but isn't this a SF movie?
C) The bad guy, a vicious KILLER, turns good at the end? That's sooo 'Vader'.

Analysis:

A- It's the new thing in movies; start in the middle of a story (you never saw Pulp Fiction?).
See the series it's a continuation of, you idiot!

B- And "Alien" had a horror vibe running through it; Be flexible, and you will be Renewed!

C- This movie contained not only blacks & whites, but shades of gray, redemption, character evolution... touch of reality. Makes some nervous, I conjure.

So, it failed at the box office, but I submit it succeeded as a refreshing change of pace from the glut of same 'ole nonsense out there (the second Transformers movie just came out on DVD for you Hero/Villain comfort-addicts ).

Next case...?

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Originally posted by GWEK:
And, for the record, ARMAGEDDON's sciene is far superior to that of either THE CORE or THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW: while all are, at best, comic book-ridiculous, ARMAGEDDON, at least, remains CONSISTENT, while the others don't.

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But that's all pretty incidental, because science doesn't enter into the equation.

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I stand by my assessment that ARMAGEDDON is probably the best b-rate movie ever made. Why? Characters and conflict. Characters and conflict, not science or facts--or even accuracy--are at the heart of almost every really good movie.

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As for your petroleum engineer friends: a few thoughts. First, it's probably for the best that they didn't see the earlier draft of the script in which the gang makes a drill bit out of diamond fragments they find on the asteroid.

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Second: unique expertise is the enemy of entertainment. 99.999% of mankind probably couldn't care less about the type or accuracy of drill bit used. You were with part of the 00.001%.

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THERE IS NO REASONABLE WAY THAT KUMAR COULD NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS WHITE CASTLE.

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