Satan Claus by dreamtrove

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

Satan Claus

POSTED BY: DREAMTROVE
UPDATED: Tuesday, December 8, 2009 18:37
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VIEWED: 839
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Saturday, December 5, 2009 4:47 PM

DREAMTROVE

http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/have-yourself-a-horribly-traumatic-li
ttle-christma

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Saturday, December 5, 2009 6:43 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Oh. My.

That's awful. And hilarious. But awful. Yet still hilarious.

Mike

Work is the curse of the Drinking Class.
- Oscar Wilde

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Sunday, December 6, 2009 2:25 AM

PIZMOBEACH

... fully loaded, safety off...

F*cking Obama!

Scifi movie music + Firefly dialogue clips, 24 hours a day - http://www.scifiradio.com

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Sunday, December 6, 2009 7:13 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Those poor kids! And people...what a mess to clean up, and it must have ruined the festivities! Poor babies....

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Sunday, December 6, 2009 12:10 PM

FREMDFIRMA

Heh, here's one for ya, then.

When my nieces were real little, they thought I WAS Santa Claus, despite the fact that I look nothing like him.

That's cause I came out of the frozen wastelands of Michigan, which they STILL think is somewhere just south of the north freakin pole and full of vikings, mind you - with armloads of presents that they had wanted but didn't think to ask for, and well, I *was* wearing a santa hat.

This belief persisted for a couple years, much to my amusement and eventually transmogrified into them seeing me as sort of a faery godfather, emphasis on the godfather part since due to rumor and use of influence, they've now decided (with the help of their screwy friends) that I work for the mafia...

Oh I tell em different, but they believe what they want to - past week the middle kid was about to miss a dental appointment cause their overpriced, piss poor coverage of course ran out, thanks to the sham pricing of that system ($750 for $125 wheelchair, for example, which they don't REALLY pay, it's just a game to run out your coverage quicker) and with funds being tight they could not afford it...

I of course, told her to go anyways, and she did, and the bill magically went away, but she did have to sit through a lecture about things you are NOT supposed to eat with certain dental equipment.

And it doesn't at all help my efforts at mythbreaking when I catch every attempt to pull a fast one on me and then point out her mistakes.

Hell, I wrote the book she's workin from.

Anyways, it's not the worst thing I've been accused of, the girl I built the dollhouse for has a sneaking suspicion I am friendly with certain elves....

Btw, happy holidays, folks.

-F

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Monday, December 7, 2009 3:50 PM

DREAMTROVE

Frem,

Maybe a parrot's not your speed. Ever thought of a white angora cat?

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Monday, December 7, 2009 5:07 PM

BYTEMITE

Yes, a white cat named Mister Bigglesworth, and one of those impressively large swivel chairs. >)

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Monday, December 7, 2009 5:36 PM

CHRISISALL

"Water's wet, the sky is blue and ol' Satan Clause, Jimmy, he's out there and he's just getting stronger."

The laughing Chrisisall

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 8:40 AM

FREMDFIRMA

You mean this one ?

That's Ghoster, and I actually carried her when I pulled the melodramatic, overblown villain thing on the city council mess, she got a kick out of all the attention.

And my first cat actually WAS a white Turkish Angora named Mischief - my mothers allergies would not allow a cat in the house, and I was too busy trying to survive to take care of a pet for a long time, but once things got settled and I was doin ok, I realized that the mice in my place were becoming a bit of a problem cause I won't use most traps since they're inhumane and I keep seein things from the mouses perspective.

There was a pet shop down the street I occasionally helped out at since I had such a rapport with animals and being transported tends to freak them out significantly, which had a gloriously beautiful Turkish Angora who wasn't suitable for show due to personality issues, so the breeder classed her as a call and had her fixed - she was kinda the shops pet since no one wanted a show cat (notorious for health problems due to inbreeding) who couldn't be shown, but she positively adored me.

The shop owner told me to go ahead and take her home, handed me a carrier, food and litter, shot records, and told me to pay him later, which I did - and he knew I would.

I didn't have that much a problem with her knocking off the mice, since that's just nature in action, but she surprised me a little - she had kind of a motherly aspect going on due to having kittens taken away from her early before she was fixed, and so would bring me the mice alive and kickin - I thanked her kindly, and dumped the stunned little fools into an empty margarine bucket, and then paroled them in the local park.

Yeah, go ahead and laugh, I'm FAR more hostile to humans than other species, except for maybe Llamas cause they're bad tempered evil little gits.

I did eventually lose her, to FLV, which took her out in less than a day, she'd showed no symptoms up till that morning, and passed on while I was arguing with the vet clinic to make an appointment, and so I buried her by hand at an unused and overgrown corner of the park in the pouring rain like all of heaven was crying - it was all I could do for her, and it was really hard on me.

I get back, and there's a stray cat sitting on my doorstep lookin at me sideways.. "well?".
*shrug*
I let him in, they KNOW, you see ?

Ghoster is actually kinda bumbling oaf sweet, like that vulture from the old merry melodies cartoons - the villainous one is Kallista.

Most folks are unaware of just how smart cats can be, but I tell ya this much, if they had thumbs we'd be screwed for sure.

-F

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 6:26 PM

DREAMTROVE

Gotta give you credit for some great cat names.

And to Byte, for the cat in question. A quick internet search reveals things I did not know: The cat is actually Persian, and belongs to Blofeld, not to Dr. No.

It was damn hard to find a decent screen cap of the actual cat, and not random userpics of their own cats, dr. evil, cheney-photoshops, etc. I got a lot of pictures of the cat being squashed.

Cats are about as smart as dogs, but unlike dogs, they largely don't care about humans. It's like the story of parrots who know what they're saying: A more in depth look seems to reveal that all parrots know what they are saying: They're making fun of humans. Parrots also have a sick sense of humor. Chirping up with "Get the whip, Tiger" at just the wrong moment isn't random, it's uproariously funny, if you're a bird.

After all, if you're going to live to be 120, you need something to amuse yourself.

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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 6:37 PM

CHRISISALL

Wrong pussy...

The laughing Chrisisall

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