FANTASTIC 4 REVIEW(SPOILERS)

Thursday, July 7, 2005 3:22:18 AM

WOW.What can I say except Fantasic Four is just that--fantastic.............this has to be the biggest surprise of any summer movie,I was wrong--they were right.Oh by the way I had my brain lobotimzed and I smoked some crack yesterday so if im not making any sense thats why. scroll down for the real review..............................








NOT SO FANTASTIC! 4 ACTORS THAT NEED TO LOOK FOR BETTER AGENTS!
DUMBEST PIECE OF SHIT SINCE YESTERDAYS DUMP!
OKAY THAT LAST ONE DIDN'T REALLY MAKE MUCH SENSE BUT IM STILL IN A STATE OF SHOCK.

Where to begin,first off I have a question--can I get back money from a movie that I saw for free,on the grounds that it waisted 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back?!?!?!?!
Let's start off with the good--This has to be the greatest comedy of all time.The actor who plays Johnny Storm is good...................that's all I can say about the good side.On to the bad-

The script--Every person on the planet Earth and beyond should watch this movie and learn how NOT to write a script.Plot holes like you wouldn't believe, but above all the dialogue!!! The metaphors are waaaaaayyy over the top!"You're STRETCHING yourself too thin Reed"(ah,yes I get it because he's going to become Mr Fantastic...) "I can't SEE you anymore Sue"(ah yes I get it because she's going to become the invisible girl)"You're such a HOThead Johnny!"(ah yes be---you get the point!)This next part leads into the acting,but when Ben becomes the Thing he goes home ,calls his wife outside the apartment .Here is some dialogue--
Wife-Ben,is that you? Oh baby i've missed you soo much.
Ben-I've missed you too
Wife-Where are you?
Ben-Outside.
Wife-I can't wait to see you,i'll be right down,i've got a surprise for you.

So the wife comes outside crosses the street wearing nothing but underwear?!?!! Ofcourse once she sees Ben she calls him a monster and runs away(great wife) Later she she's him again and from a distance with sappy music playing she says nothing but removes her wedding ring(whoa that is deep)

The acting-EVERYONE IN THIS FILM SUCKS!(except Chris Evans) Jessica Alba should just go into porn.Micheal Chiclets should be greatful for The Shield.The guy who plays Mr Fantastic--wow,who knew a guy from dinner theatre could make it this far. Julian McMahon---so horrible!I hope this isn't the new James Bond.

The action-There are 2 scenes with action--seriously 2! so if you are going to see this film because you think it's gonna be a popcorn film--order a small popcorn.

And now onto the WTF?!?! section-
This is from aicn,and I gotta say this is exactly how I felt about this scene--
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Fantastic Four is often described as the celebrity superhero team. I recall reading something about Tim Story saying he wanted to make a part of the movie. But he takes it to really fucking stupid heights. Sulking about being orange, Thing ends up causing a huge pile up on the freeway. The other three show up and they save a few lives that they were responsible for endangering. BOOM! They are the most popular people around. Everyone knows them, dubs them The Fantastic Four. They really haven’t done much of anything. They aren’t a team. They don’t have the uniforms yet. But everyone’s applauding. They don’t even leave the Baxter building for the next fifteen minutes afterwards, but we keep hearing about the crowds of people outside who in two minutes have shown up with signs saying how hot Johnny is and the already have a merchandising section in the Baxter building. Come on. It’s just way over the top.
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I would also like to add that New Yorkers should boycott this film for making them all look like sheep! "DUHEE! PRETTY COSTUMES! ME LIKEY COSTUMES!"

Okay,so I should admit that I am not a fan of Fantastic 4,I like the characters but never really read the book.That being said the fact that they put Victor von Doom up in space is just stupid! But what is even more stupid is that he gets powers of electricity? and his body is turning into living metal,so I bring this up for this reason,he is enjoying turning into this except he is ashamed that his face is turning to metal so he puts on a metal mask---let me say it again-- he doesn't like his metal face so he puts on a metal mask.
Also,why is it that when you become a villian you need to say bad puns
(Doom shoots Sue Storm)" Sue,you're fired." UGH!

I have ranted long enough--just to wrap it up this is the 2nd worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life(RADIO is still #1) Flame out!