THE SECOND ESSAY OF SYMON SILVER

Sunday, May 29, 2005 10:09:50 PM

In the matter of 11 days all my views have changed. It's felt like a month, in that time I wrote an essay, which really meant nothing. I've come up with these logs, which seem to be going nowhere. I grabbed onto a series and lost it, and after 11 days I think I don't care anymore. A nervous heat is washing over my body, and I don't even know why. I never realized I could change myself so much in just one week. I don't know if I'll write in these logs again, unless some divine calling commands me. I don't think I want to do much without some divine calling. Like I just said...I don't know. I think I've been more dedicated to the series in a matter of days than I have been to any book I've ever tried to write, or any story I’ve witnessed.

It’s interesting, because nothing in the world has done that for me. I’ve always felt bad when something ended, but not as horribly stricken as when Firefly did. I think, and don’t go thinking I’m crazy, but there is something in the series or in the characters that is extremely important to the wellbeing of my life. I feel like I want to write another long essay, but it doesn’t take too many words to express what I’m going through, even if you don’t understand. I’ve walked along the different forums, and went on a crazed rampage acting as if I’m the only one that mattered. Maybe this is some sort of crisis in my own life, and doesn’t regard Firefly at all. I don’t really know, and I don’t know what to do about it.

I think something needs to be said. I thank you Joss. I know I am not the only one that has thanked you. It’s been 11 days, but I feel like I have been a part of this before I even knew. I wish I could have been a part of this when it began. I’m late, but I know that everything that happens…that there’s a purpose for it all. There’s no reason why, and I’m figuring I’ll probably get the same response to this as everything else, but I feel like I must write this. I must write something that makes sense.

But for the few eyes that read this, know that I understand you care and I’m there for you. I don’t know why or how Joss got so many people to follow the story of some rag-tag crew. I don’t know why or how they touched me, but they did. Like they took a fishing hook and struck it through my heart. No one knows me, no one really cares who I might be, and I’m ok with that. It would make me feel good if only one person in the world read this, and didn’t even understand it. Hell, I don’t even understand it.

I guess that’s it. I never knew that so much could change in just 11 days. But I guess that’s the way the world spins, the way the stars move. Do they move? I’m sure they do, destined to be sucked into some black hole, or just die in a furious explosion. Any who, I don’t have anything else to say, I’m looking forward to Serenity. And to every soul out there, each flying their own ship with their own special crews, well…keep flying. Don’t let any one voice, any million voices, take down your ship. Every ship should fly.

---Once again, and maybe for the last time
-Symon