Chapter 20

"Simon?" Lien called out to him as she entered his temporary residence.

"Lien, what's going on?" Simon asked her. "How did I get here, did we leave here from the ball?"

"You… you really don't remember do you?" Lien asked uncertainly, her voice hovering between concern and suspicion. She cautiously approached him, as if Simon were a dangerous animal.

"I… I came with a registered companion, is she here?"

"Why did you come to Londinum?" Lien asked him, apparently choosing suspicion.

Simon's mind scrambled for a suitable answer, another partial truth that would allow him to bluff his way past her. "I came because of some information… on my sister. I came to find it," Simon explained.

"What kind of information?" Lien pressed.

"It… it had to do with her location," Simon supplied. It's not exactly a lie.

"So you do not know where your sister is?" Lien asked incredulously.

Well… not exactly, Simon thought, but said, "No, I cannot tell you where she is."

Lien released a weary sigh and placed a hand on his shoulder. She looked at him sadly and said, "Simon, I am the only reason you are still alive and free-"

"Free?" Simon interrupted her as he shrugged her hand off of his shoulder.

"Not incarcerated, if you prefer," Lien continued irritably as she crossed her arms in front of her, "You need help, Simon, and I can't help you if you won't work with me."

"I won't betray River," Simon resolutely declared, "don't waste your breath,"

"Then let us talk about the real reason you are here," Lien countered. "Why would one of the 'verse's most wanted… travel to a core planet and attend a public spectacle?"

"I miss the parties we used to attend together," Simon responded sarcastically.

"Don't mock me," Lien warned.

"I would have called, Lien, honest, but I'm afraid you're just not a very good dancer-"

"Simon, I don't have time for this…"

"-but you know who is a great dancer? River! She's way better than you ever-"

Lien lost her temper and interrupted his speech by slugging him in the face. She then walked over to the guard and ordered, "Bind him and send him to my shuttle with a security team. It's time we paid his 'friends' a little visit."

"Our guest should be arrivin' momentarily," Mal announced to the crew. "No way o' knowin' how much they know, so yall let me do that talkin'. River, I want you hidden' and listenin' in through the com. You're our ace in the hole. Jayne, give her weapon 'fore she goes. Inara, you have no official involvement in this, so you're to stay in your shuttle unless ordered out, in which I's appreciate if you did so all huffy and indignant like. Shouldn't be hard for you."

"Mal…" Inara began.

"You may be the only one of us that can move about freely at this point and I don't wish to jeopardize that," Mal said earnestly, "Inara, I need you in your shuttle."

"What's our plan Cap'n?" Kaylee asked nervously.

"We hear 'em out," Mal said and threw up a hand to stifle any protest. He continued, "We won't sell out one of our own, but we'll hear 'em out and I'll offer them the credit line. Maybe they'll take it. If not, well, at least I'll get the chance to measure up who we're up against."

Thirty minutes later – it was approaching midnight by this point – four armed and armored security guards met Mal, Kaylee, Jayne and Zoe in Serenity's cargo bay. The guards kept their weapons trained on the crew, but Mal knew they were in no immediate danger. He could read it in there stances, these where well behaved guard dogs and would not blink before given a direct order. However, they were scaring little Kaylee something fierce and that was more than enough to earn the angry glare Mal shot in their direction.

After a few moments the lead guard spoke a few words into a handheld device and Mal's cargo bay door opened once more to reveal the tall aristocratic sino woman who must be Lien striding arrogantly into his ship with his doctor on her arm. Lien confidently entered the cargo bay with her head held high and her arm looped possessively around Simon's arm.

With his wrist bound, the Simon was in no position to argue, not that he appeared to have much fight left in him. In contrast to Lien's confident gait, Simon limped into the cargo bay with his shoulders slumped and hung his head in what had to be either defeat or exhaustion. His posture made him appear shorter than his captor. With great effort, Simon raised his head to meet his crewmates, revealing evidence of further physical abuse. I guess the bastards have already begun their interrogation, Mal thought, looks like he's been strangled and smacked around.

"Simon," Kaylee gasped as she ran towards him. Two guards stepped in front of her and blocked her way with weapons drawn.

"Kaylee!" Simon called out to her as he struggled awkwardly against Lien's grip before realizing the futility of his actions.

Mal cleared his throat and said, "Why don't you kids settle down a minute, let the grownups have a lil' talk."

"You're the captain, I presume?" Lien asked Mal pompously as she tightened her grip on Simon and pulled him closer to her.

Simon, just what have you gotten yourself into? "I am," Mal answered. "What have you done to my medic?" He asked impatiently.

"What have you done to my fiancé?" Lien asked, sounding equally tetchy.

"I… what?" Mal responded. Kaylee gasped and, as was typical, Jayne was the first person to break the silence.

"See Mal, I told ya she was snatchin' her up a husband!" Jayne proclaimed triumphantly.

Mal and Zoe silenced him in unison ordering, "Shut up Jayne!"

"No…no… that can't be right," Kaylee said confusion, "I think ya got the wrong ship. Only ones here that'd know are Ri-… uh are Simon. An' Simon proposed to me 'bout a week ago."

Mal reached out to squeeze Kaylee's shoulder in an attempt to calm and quiet her before she got them all in trouble. "It's like Kaylee said," Mal spoke up confidently. "Simon's only one on this boat of like to knownin' ya."

"Is this true?" Lien asked. Mal was about to respond indignantly until he realized she was asking Simon.

Simon stood as tall and proudly as he could manage with his restraints and injuries and confirmed, "Yes" while tensing as if in anticipation of another blow.

"Simon I'm disappointed," Lien said sadly. Mal was surprised to see her visibly shaken as she continued, "I suppose it's my own fault for abandoning you in your time of need…" Just as he thought she was about to shed a tear, Lien instantly regained her composure and said resolutely, "It's not too late, Simon, I can help you. Just tell me where River is and we'll work things out. With River's return we can arrange to have the charges dropped. You can come back home and we can finally be married."

Kaylee gasped and Simon attempted to hurry to her side but was again restrained. Mal crossed his arms and said, "Doctor, there something you want to tell us?"

"I-I… yes, Lien and I were engaged but-but… I didn't think it still… I'm a fugitive…" Simon stuttered.

"You never did think much for a fugitive," Mal accused.

"An' you didn't think it was important to tell me you was already engaged?" Kaylee asked frantically. "What else haven't you told me Simon? Do you have children? Are ya engaged to anyone else?"

"Kaylee…I…"

"Doesn't matter!" Kaylee shouted as she pulled off her engagement ring and threw it at him. "Can't trust you anyhow!" she exclaimed before turning around and crying into Zoe's shoulder.

The ring hit Simon in the chest and he dropped to his knees as if the impact came from a bullet. He stared numbly as the ring hit the floor and fell between the gratings. Simon felt like a piece of his soul was lost along with it, neither reachable and nor deserving of recovery.

"Simon, get up," Lien ordered irritably, "You're embarrassing yourself."

"Like I rutting care," Simon bit back.

"Simon, language," Lien chastised.

"Can we get his over with?" Mal asked. He offered, "It may not look it but I've got access to lots in the manner of fundage. How much will it cost to get my medic back?"

"Why did you come here?" Lien asked, ignoring him. "I already know it has something to do with River's location," She said as gazed at Simon's crumpled form with a look somewhere between pity and disgust. "If you don't tell me I'll be forced to pry the answers from Simon."

Hearing River's name brought Simon's mind back into focus. It was never about me, Simon reminded himself, all that matters is keeping River safe. Simon struggled to remember everything that had happened within the past five hours. He had a feeling somewhere within his hazy drug affected memories lurked an answer to their problem.

"Eh, go ahead," Mal bluffed nonchalantly, "after what he's done to my mechanic I'm liable to hurt 'em myself."

"The meeting," Simon blurted, surprising everyone in the room with his unexpected outburst.

"Doctor…" Mal said, the implied threat to keep silent was not lost on Simon, but the young doctor continued boldly anyway.

"Lien, you have to take me too that meeting," Simon said as he stood confidently to meet her at eye level. A knowing look passed between Mal and Zoe. Jayne remained oblivious and Kaylee turned to glance at Simon, curious and worried, through her tear filled eyes.

"Simon, why do you want to attend the meeting?" Lien asked.

Simon swallowed the lump in his throat and told the biggest lie of his life, "Because you are right, Lien. It's time for me to move beyond this psychosis. The meeting is part of your life and it's time for me to be in it," he rationalized, "We'll… we'll get River the help she needs and-and," Simon took a deep breath before he continued, his speech thick with emotion, "and I'll return home, with you. Back to where we belong."

Lien smiled at Simon sweetly, as if she was proud of him. Simon hid his own revulsion and favored her with a smile of his own. Just like when we were children, Simon thought mirthlessly, I could only fool her by telling her exactly what she wanted to hear.

After being excused, Simon entered his bunk and began packing quickly. The rest of the crew were still being held at gunpoint in the cargo bay and Simon did not think his escorts would allow him much time on his own, even with Serenity surrounded. He quickly stowed every small Kaylee gadget he could find in the bottom of his bag, concealed behind layers of clothing and undergarments. He was just about to store a miniature injector gun when he heard quiet footsteps enter his room from behind him. Simon palmed the miniaturized device and turned to face River.

"Mei mei, what are you doing here?" Simon whispered, "It's not safe, you have to-"

"Don't go," River interrupted him, sobbing, "don't leave me. I love you, and so does Kaylee. She'll understand later so you can't leave us."

"River, I love you too but…It's the only way. The only way to keep you safe. As for Kaylee, I don't think she'll ever…" Simon lost his voice before he could complete the sentence. He shook his head and said, "It doesn't matter. All I want is for you to be safe. Please go back to your hiding place. The bad men will be gone soon."

"I won't let you leave-"

Simon reacted quickly before he had time to contemplate his actions and give his sister the opportunity to read them. He wrapped her in a fierce embrace and pulled the trigger on the injector gun, administering a sedative that would knock River out for the next four hours.

"I'm sorry, mei mei," he cried softly as she sagged in his embrace.

"Such…a…boob…" River muttered before finally collapsing in his arms.

Simon knew he didn't have much time, but he could not just betray to two most important women in his life and walk away without an explanation. Simon gently tucked River into his bed, kissed her forehead, and began recording his message.

Thirty minutes later, the remaining crew of Serenity gathered in Simon's room around River's sleeping form and listened to Simon's message…

"Mei mei, I love you, and I'm so sorry I had to put you to sleep but I couldn't let you stop me. I love you and Kaylee both and it pains me to think that what may be my last moments with you all were spent causing you pain… but it was the only way. I… I don't have much time so I'm going to have to make this quick.

"Stay with the captain. He's a good man and will protect you better than I ever could. I've left to formula for your medication should you again need it. I'm sorry I could never cure you, but I am so very proud of how far you have come." Simon laughed and continued, "and you've adapted to our new life better and quicker than I have, just like when we were children. I…"

"I need to explain something to Kaylee. Kaylee I'm sorry. I… I should have told you about Lien but I was afraid of how you would react. I can never say the right thing and I never expected that particular part of my life to catch up with me. For what it's worth, I never chose to marry her. It was an arranged marriage, decided by our parents. The same parents that abandoned me and River t-"

Simon's voice abruptly ended, but evidence of heavy breathing could be heard in the background. After a moment Simon continued, "Kaylee, I should have trusted with my whole heart but I always kept part of it hidden away. I told myself it was because River needed me more but now I realize I was scared. I made a mistake and if you can find in your heart to forgive me and… and if I can make it back alive… I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn back the love and trust you have given me that I never really disserved." Simon took a deep breath and proclaimed, "Kaylee, I love you more than I thought possible and I hope to God I get the chance to prove to you-"

"Simon…" an irritated voice called from some distance in the background.

"I have to go. Mei mei… bao bei… please remember no matter what happens, I love you both!"