There were probably worse places to be than chained to the bed below River Jayne thought as her kisses trailed down his neck.

He changed his mind quickly as he saw her pick a knife off his wall and the blade glint in the light.

Fear flashed through his eyes but she smiled and said in a scarily calm voice “don’t worry puppy its only a game.”

Jayne closed his eyes imaging the long blade slashing through this skin and heard the sound of fabric cutting and saw she’d cut open his shirt.

‘Damn’ he thought ‘that was my favorite shirt’.

River ran a trail of kisses down his chest quickly bringing his attention away from his shirt.

River looked up at him and was about to unbuckle his belt when they heard a crash as Simon and Mal appear in his bunk.

Simon started yelling thinks so dirty Jayne didn’t even know what they meant.

River jumped up and quickly ran out of the room.

Luckily Simon followed her still cursing, but the Mal just stood there somewhere between anger and amusement.

“Wasn’t my fault Cap’n” Jayne said trying to struggle out of the handcuffs.

Mal just laughed and said ‘hope you’re out of those by the time Simon comes back.’

Just then he heard Simon’s yelling and realized he was on his way back.

Jayne was able to break the handcuffs (but also his bed in the process) just as Simon reappeared yelling louder.

“you stupid Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng, you dumb bastard” he yelled and lunged at Jayne but was held back by Mal.

Mal cleared his throat and gave them both a stern look which stopped the fighting for a moment.

“Little early in the mornin’ fer this doc” Mal said calmly “why don’t you stop b’fore you wake the whole boat?”

Simon looking slightly sheepish but still very angry charged out of the room.

Mal turned to Jayne who realised Simon was the least of his worries compared to the Captain.

Mal didn’t yell though, he just said very seriously “I think its bout time you get off Jayne” and left.