Chapter 9: Freezing Furnace

Inara sat on her bed with Kaylee’s head resting on her lap. She gently stroked Kaylee’s hair as the distraught mechanic relayed the details of last night.

“…and then he said he didn’t think we could be together” She sobbed “Why did he say that Inara? Why?”

“Shh, mei mei” Said Inara soothingly “I’m sure he didn’t mean it. He probably just panicked about abandoning River but I’m sure once he comes to his senses he’ll realise that he can be with you and take care of River without neglecting either of you.”

“But that’s just it, Inara” Said Kaylee “That’s what he was supposed to have realised before he kissed me. I always hoped that was the reason that we weren’t together and that one day he would see that I don’t intend to replace River in his life. Then he would hold me in his arms, kiss me, and everything would be alright. That kiss was supposed to make him realise that he could have me and that I wouldn’t get in the way of what he was trying to do. It wasn’t supposed to be the other way around! Oh, Inara!”

Inara didn’t know what to say. She wanted to tell Kaylee that she was wrong and that everything would be alright between her and Simon but she couldn’t. As much as she hated to admit it, she agreed with Kaylee and a far as she was aware the rest of the crew did as well. They had all been waiting for the day when Simon would finally realise that he should be with Kaylee and then after that everything would just work itself out. Nobody had been prepared for this, least of all Kaylee.

Kaylee continued sobbing into Inara’s skirt but after a while the crying exhausted her and she drifted off the sleep. Inara thought she would take this opportunity to talk to Simon and so she gently laid Kaylee’s head upon her pillow and tiptoed out of the shuttle. She found Simon in the infirmary as she expected and gently tapped on the door to alert him of her presence. His head snapped around when he heard the noise but then his shoulders dropped when he saw who it was. Inara could tell he had hoped she was Kaylee but was grateful when he beckoned her into the infirmary anyway.

“I assume Kaylee has been to see you”

“Yes, I just thought I would come and hear your side of the story, should you care to tell it”

“I don’t think I could tell you anything you haven’t already heard”

Simon began pacing up and down the infirmary and Inara just watched him silently. She knew she couldn’t force anything out of him but she hoped for his sake that he would talk to her. She knew that he felt isolated from the rest of the crew because he assumed, rightly so, that they would be on Kaylee’s side even if they agreed with his reasoning, but she wanted him to know that he could always talk to her.

“Inara, I don’t know what to do”

Simon looked at the Companion pleadingly, silently begging her to come up with a solution to his predicament

“You could try talking to her” She suggested

“But what would I say?” Asked Simon desperately “Everything I said last night was true, and still applies to our situation even though I wish to God it didn’t. Nothing I could say to her now would help. If I keep telling the truth she’ll just keep hating me but if I lie I’ll just dig myself into an even deeper hole.”

“You’ll have to face her eventually” Said Inara

“Not necessarily” Said Simon, causing Inara to raise her eyebrows questioningly “Last night Lola, he girl we picked up, came to see me. She said she’d overheard my conversation with Kaylee and that she understood how it would be difficult for me to remain on Serenity now that things have become so complicated. She told me that she knew people who would be able to look after River and I and if we wanted to, we could remain on Beaumonde under her protection.”

“Simon, I…” Inara was speechless. She had known Simon would take this break-up very seriously but she had never known him to be so irrational. Nor had she suspected that Lola would be so cruel as to prey on his insecurity “Do you realise what you’re saying?”

“I realise it’s risky, and I’ll need River’s permission, but I just cannot stay here and see Kaylee every day after what I said. There’s no way we can be friends after what has happened between us but we can’t be together either. One of us has to leave and it has to be me.”

“Simon, this is ridiculous”

“Perhaps, but it’s the only option. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to find my sister. She’ll need some time to get used to the idea.”

Simon gave Inara a courteous nod and walked out of the infirmary in the direction of the passenger dorms. Inara stood there, unable to process what she had just heard. How could Simon possibly be thinking of leaving, and how could Lola even think of suggesting it to him? Inara felt rage bubbling inside her at the thought of Lola poisoning Simon’s mind with such insane thoughts and decided it was time she had another chat with the ships new “cargo”.

*****

Mal sat in Wash’s chair, in the dark, looking at the stars and trying to shut off his brain. Nandi’s death had hit him harder than he, or anyone had expected but he didn’t want to dwell on it because he had enough pain already without adding dead lovers to the mix. Right now he was trying to come to grips with Inara’s upcoming departure. She still hadn’t told the crew because she hadn’t found the “right moment” and this meant that every time one of them asked what was wrong he just had to come up with a crappy lie and then try and get out of the room quickly before they started to ask questions. He knew the crew were starting to get suspicious but as much as he hated Inara’s secrecy, he respected her privacy and so he didn’t want to go blabbing her secrets to everyone. It wouldn’t leave her with a pleasant memory of him anyway. But why did he even care? She was just another way of making money. She paid him rent and in return he let her go about her business in peace (most of the time). It was strictly a business arrangement, nothing more. So why did he feel like someone was digging their finger nails into his heart every time he thought about her leaving? Why did he often find himself passing by her shuttle when he had no intention of going in that direction? Gorram it, why did he even care?

Mal ran his fingers through his head in exasperation and stood up, deciding that perhaps nice stiff drink would help him find some clarity. He walked down the stairs and was heading the kitchen when Inara turned the corner into the corridor and collided with him with such force that is sent both of them staggering backwards.

“’Nara, what the hell…?” He asked, dazed

“Oh, sorry Mal, I was in a hurry” Inara, blushing slightly “You haven’t see Lola have you”

“Can’t say I have” Replied Mal “Why d’you care so much?”

“Now that Simon’s decided to break-up with Kaylee, Lola has taken it upon herself to fill the boy’s head with crazy ideas about leaving Serenity. I wanted to find her and ask her what she thinks she’s doing”

“Sounds like a plan” Agreed Mal “I haven’t always been fond of the boy myself but he’s a good Doctor, and our ship seems to be in need of one of those more often than I’d like. It’d be a shame to lose skill like that”

“Um...yes, I agree” Said Inara, swallowing the lump in her throat. Why couldn’t Mal just say he wanted Simon to stay, like she knew he did, rather than spewing all this nonsense about wanting Doctor Tam to stay? Inara sighed in frustration and turned to leave.

“You know…’Nara…” Began Mal. Inara stooped and turned around to listen to him, her heart beating fast “I have all these rules about ship-board romances…”

“Yes?” Prompted Inara. Mal took a deep breath.

“Well, it’s at times like this that I just kinda hate myself for being right, that’s all. Nobody should be lonely”

Inara just stood there staring at him in wonder. He returned her gaze for a couple of second before walking off towards the kitchen. Her eyes followed him all the way there.

*****

Lola was in the middle of unpacking her clothes when she heard a loud knock on her door. She pulled back the screen and was met with Inara’s icy glare.

“Where the hell do you get off telling Simon he should eave Serenity?” Demanded Inara

“Ah, that famous Companion eloquence” Said Lola, her voice dripping with sarcasm “I do love it”

“How dare you come onto our ship and start putting such ridiculous ideas into people’s heads?” Asked Inara, doing all she could to keep herself from shrieking.

“It’s not ridiculous” Replied Lola, calmly “Simon told me that he would feel uncomfortable staying here on Serenity now that he’s said those things to Kaylee. He was already planning to leave before I even approached him; I just gave him a place to go.”

“And did you ever stop and think about the possibility that Simon and Kaylee might work things out?”

“What is there to work out? Simon didn’t just make this decision impulsively. He’s been thinking about this for months, or so he told me. Inara, his mistake wasn’t breaking up with Kaylee, it was kissing her, and because of that mistake things cannot return to normal here on the ship until Simon leaves. Can’t you see that I did you a favour? In a couple of days Simon will be gone. Quick and relatively painless.”

“Don’t think for a second that I will believe that nonsense. You really did pick the wrong crew to mess with. Now, I’m going to find Simon and Kaylee so I can put an end to this madness! ”

Inara stormed out of Lola’s room in the direction of the engine room. Lola watched her go, a malicious smile playing about her lips.

“Oh Inara” She said to herself, a hint of laughter in her voice “You really are so very stupid”