A/N: I must give credit for this story to Leiasky, who innocently asked one day for my take on how Kaylee got the necklace she's wears to the funeral at the end of Serenity. Apparently it means commitment/marriage in Chinese.

Here's my take it ... let me know what you think and for all you S/K fans out there - ENJOY!

***

Kaylee was sad. There was no other way to put it, no other word that even came close to encapsulating how badly she felt. She was tired and hurting and sad. But even with all that pain she felt wrapped around her heart, gazing at Simon’s sleeping form brought her a level of comfort she desperately needed.

Sighing quietly, she leaned against the door of the infirmary and watched as his chest rose in rhythm. He had just gotten back from the Alliance’s medical facility and she was glad he was again on board. Even though his injury prevented him from waking more than a few hours a day, she sat with him at almost every turn, content just to be close until they could have a minute to find out if there would be, if there could be, more.

“There is.”

The small voice shouldn’t have startled her, but Kaylee was so lost in thought, River’s quiet comment made her jump. Smiling almost immediately at the girl, Kaylee turned to look at her and took her hand in her own.

“There is what, sweetie,” Kaylee asked, noting how River’s bruises and cuts from her big battle just a few days ago were already healing nicely.

“There’s more,” River told her, her big brown eyes never leaving the other girl’s face. Even as Kaylee blushed and tried to avert her gaze, River tugged on her hand and brought her face around to peer right back at her friend. “There’s so much more,” she reassured her, smiling brightly. Then River hugged Kaylee, tightly and whispered, “We’re so lucky to know you.”

Kaylee bit back tears at the girl’s words, knowing she meant them. Kaylee felt the same, truth be told, even though she may have had her doubts about both Simon and River in the beginning, she knew they were as much a part of her life as Wash and Book. With renewed sadness, she stifled another sob, even as River released her.

Placing a gentle hand to the woman’s cheek, River’s eyes shone brightly with her own tears. “Not gone. Never gone.” She said it so assuredly that Kaylee couldn’t bring herself to disagree. Smiling to her again, River placed a light kiss on her cheek and then gently pushed Kaylee in the direction of Simon’s sleeping form. “He’s waking. He wants to see you.”

Kaylee smiled her appreciation to her, and cautiously stepped into the infirmary. Simon had been awake very sporadically in the last few days, and even though she’d been there each and every time, he still had difficulty connecting the events of the past week together. Kaylee secretly wondered if that weren’t a blessing.

Resuming her usual seat on the stool by his bed, Kaylee wrapped her hand in his and watched as his eyes fluttered open. His long, dark eye lashes beat against his cheek for just a moment and then his deep, blue eyes were aware of the world. Slowly and with difficulty, he turned his head in her direction and gave her a sluggish grin that made her heart melt.

Returning the smile, she ran a hand through his hair and murmured, “Hey you.”

“Hey.” His voice was harsh from disuse and she watched as he worked his tongue and lips, trying to get better use of them. Kaylee rose and got him a glass of water, helping him to sip it by cradling his head in her hand.

When he smiled his thanks to her and she again helped him lay back down, he reached for her hand as she tried to take it away. “You’ve been here the whole time, haven’t you?”

She smiled sheepishly, hoping he could not see the flush in her cheeks or the tears welling in her eyes. Simon had enough to deal with right now, he did not need her blubbering over him as well. “Where else would I be,” she answered him lightly, trying to inject her usual positivity into the statement.

Squeezing her hand gently, Simon said, “Kaylee,” in that way that always made her look in his eyes, even if she knew she shouldn’t. And she’d been right again. The sadness she saw reflected there, mixed with concern caused the tears she’d been trying to hold in to fall, unashamedly, down her cheeks.

“Come here, please,” he whispered to her.

Unable to maintain her resolve, Kaylee leaned down on his shoulder, careful not to press against him too hard, knowing he was in a lot of pain. Simon wrapped one arm around her shoulders, holding her steady as she cried, while his other arm, although in a lot of pain, came up to rest against her cheek. “We’re okay,” he murmured to her, pressing a light kiss to her forehead.

She nodded once, and then sat back after a few more minutes of tears. Rubbing her face along her sleeve, she kept her hand in his as she said brokenly, “I know. I just can’t help thinkin’ ‘bout all we lost.” Again looking up into his expressive eyes, she whispered, “You coulda died.”

“But I didn’t,” Simon reminded her firmly, squeezing her hand. “And before you know it, I’ll be up and out of this bed.” He managed to grin, that swai grin that made her knees knock, and despite her mood it worked again. “And then I think we’ve got some things to discuss.”

Kaylee’s eyes lit at the implication, her heart soaring to know that he hadn’t forgotten what he’d said before the battle started. “I guess we do,” she answered, her eyes still watering.

Lifting her hand to his mouth, he kissed her palm gently and asked, “Is everyone else okay?”

She nodded once, going through the list, “Yeah, I guess. ‘Nara’s gonna stay, though she don’t know how much longer. Captain’s still hurting, that stab wound was pretty bad the other docs said, but I guess he’s gonna be fine in just a bit. Jayne’s … well, Jayne,” she said, getting a smile from him once again. Pausing she finished, “And River’s well, she seems to be doing real good, all things considered.”

Simon’s gaze drifted away, far away from this room, from this place and Kaylee let him go. She knew he had not even begun to process all his sister was capable of, all she had done to keep them safe. “I need to see her,” he muttered after a few moments, almost to himself.

Picking up on it, Kaylee made a motion to rise. “I can go get her,” she offered.

“No, no,” Simon told her, keeping a firm hold on her hand. “I can wait a little while. I’d much rather be spending time with you.”

Kaylee smiled at him again and waited for him to ask her. She knew he would, she knew that even in a drug-induced stupor Simon would not miss her omission from before. And she’d been right.

“What about Zoe,” he asked her quietly, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand absentmindedly. He watched her face, gauging her reaction as she took a deep breath and blinked back more tears.

“She’s hurtin’, Simon,” Kaylee finally breathed out, her voice barely above a whisper. “I ain’t never seen her so sad, and that’s the truth.”

“It’s going to take her some time, Kaylee,” Simon reminded her, already feeling his eyes drooping as sleep once again reached out to him. Determined to fight it, he told her, “There’s nothing you can do right now but be there for her.”

Kaylee nodded once, and noticed as Simon’s eyes again started to fall. Leaning down she brushed her lips against his and whispered, “Get some sleep. I’ll be back to check on you in just a bit.”

Simon wanted to argue with her, wanted to tell her to stay with him so they could talk some more, so he could make her not be so sad. But his body had other ideas and within minutes, the drugs pumping through his system got the better of him and he was once again asleep.

Kaylee sat with him for a few more minutes and then, wiping her tears from her face, she stood and headed towards the engine room, hoping she could find some solace with Serenity.

***

Swinging ever so slightly in her hammock, back in the newly refurbished engine room, Kaylee was lost deep in thought when Zoe came to find her. She knew that the young woman had been avoiding her over the past few days and while Zoe had her suspicions as to why, she wanted to let Kaylee know that it was all right, that she was all right and that the ‘verse would move on.

Zoe knew that Kaylee would take the deaths of their friends at Haven and Wash the hardest. She was the one who had previously been most untouched by such sadness. Even Simon, for his core upbringing, was immune to the danger and suddenness of death – his training and education had taught him a detachment that just about any of them would give their eye teeth for.

Except maybe Kaylee. Despite the pain she was in, despite how desperately she wanted to stop crying, to stop hurting, Zoe knew that she would never willingly trade in that big heart of hers for the ability to not feel. It just wasn’t part of who Kaylee was, and it definitely would have made her a different girl than the one Wash had so readily considered a sister.

“Hey there, Kaylee-bird,” she said softly, knowing she would startle the mechanic and feeling badly as the girl jumped.

Turning slightly, she wiped her face hurriedly to get rid of her tears and said, “Oh, hey Zoe. Everythin’ okay?” As soon as the words were out, Kaylee kicked herself. What kind of question was that? Of course they weren’t okay.

“For the moment,” Zoe answered, not at all bothered by the question. Sitting on the top step into the engine room, Zoe stared off into space for a few moments, thinking of what she could possibly say that would make Kaylee feel better. The truth was, they all needed Kaylee to smile again. She was their sunshine, for the whole boat, and if she couldn’t manage to flash them one of those supernova grins, then Zoe was afraid of what that could mean for the ‘verse.

Looking over to her, Zoe saw that Kaylee was again crying in silence, and she sighed, before saying, “It’s okay to cry, Kaylee, you know that.”

Kaylee again wiped at her eyes, and tried to smile. It was a weak attempt. “Oh, I ain’t cryin’ silly, I done just got some dust in my eyes is all.”

“Uh huh,” Zoe muttered, not at all convinced. Shifting to face Kaylee, the older woman said, “I know you’re sad, Kaylee-bird, we all are, so why you gotta be avoiding me?”

Her eyes widening in shock and embarrassment, Kaylee sputtered for a few moments. “I, well, I’m not … I mean …” Realizing she was serving to convince no one of anything, Kaylee finally swung her legs around so they were dangling off the edge of the hammock and said, “I’m sorry, Zoe, really.”

Sighing again, Zoe allowed a slight edge to creep into her voice as she said, “I don’t want ya to be sorry, Kaylee. None of what happened is your fault.”

“I know that,” Kaylee said meekly, her voice coming out in a squeak as she again tried to swallow down tears. “I just … I can’t help feelin’ awful that Wash is gone and—"

“And I’m alone,” Zoe answered for her, knowing this was where the girl’s statement was headed. Kaylee had been one of the only people on board who had ever thought Zoe and Wash should be married. The captain had, of course, thrown a fit at the idea and Jayne could have cared less, but Kaylee … well, she had been quite an ally to them both, helping Zoe with plans, telling Wash exactly what to and what to not say. She had delighted in her role in their wedding and had even stood up with Zoe, although the captain had forbid it.

And now, Kaylee was feeling the depth of Wash’s absence just as strongly as any other, because she knew to what lengths Zoe had loved her husband and he her. She had heard them so those words to each other, about love and honor and commitment; had heard them make those promises about death doing them part and now she felt an immense sadness that it had all been cut short and so unexpectedly.

“Well, ain’t ya sad,” Kaylee asked her, her eyes imploring the woman to tell her no, to reassure her that she was just fine so that Kaylee could stop grieving for her. But Zoe couldn’t do that. She had never made it a policy to lie to Kaylee before and she wasn’t about to start now.

“Yeah, Kaylee, I’m sad. I can’t tell ya otherwise. Wash was my life,” she said quietly, averting her gaze as she felt her eyes grow tight with tears. She would not cry though, not in front of others; tears were a private grief she shared only in the confines of her bunk. “You know how much we cared for one another.”

Kaylee nodded once and remembered with another stifled sob how happy both of her friends had been on their wedding day. It was a moment Kaylee had always remembered with fondness, even when things on board had been bad, and she hated to think she had to let that memory go now; had to dismiss it and file it away with all the other unhappiness they had known.

“But, Kaylee, you listen to me and you listen good,” Zoe told her sternly, reaching across to take Kaylee’s hands in hers. “I wouldn’t have traded a minute I spent with Wash, even if I had known it would one day end up like this.”

Kaylee bit her lip, surprised by the woman’s fierceness, but unable to break her gaze. “Even knowing this pain you’re in,” Kaylee breathed, thinking of how devastated she had felt when she’d seen Simon shot. They hadn’t even started anything yet, but at that moment, she knew that if he died, she’d be grieving for a long while.

“Even knowing the pain I’m in, Kaylee-bird,” Zoe affirmed, squeezing her hands before dropping them. “Because, this pain, it don’t take away all the love or the happiness that we shared together, even though it feels like it might,” she finished sadly.

Kaylee sat in silence with her for a moment and thought on her words. She knew that logically it was true. Giving up months or years of happiness because of one painful event was never the right thing or the smart thing to do. But Kaylee didn’t understand how Zoe could be so brave in the face of such pain. It seemed to Kaylee just another example of how incredibly strong she was.

“Zoe, I haven’t meant to avoid you,” she explained quietly, her eyes drifting back down to the floor. “I just haven’t known what ta say, and I know that if I see ya, I’ll just start cryin’.” Raising her eyes back to the woman’s face, she finally smiled and said, “And I know you don’t need to be seein’ that.”

Rising, Zoe placed a hand on Kaylee’s cheek and said, “Now, that’s where you’re wrong. ‘Cause if’n I see you cryin’ I know Wash meant somethin’ to more ‘an just me and that means he was a good man. He was worth it and that helps me, Kaylee-bird.” Leaning down the woman placed a light kiss on the top of her head and whispered, “That helps me a lot.”

Kaylee smiled at her through fresh tears, as she straightened. When she did not turn to leave as she had expected, Kaylee grabbed Zoe’s hand and asked, “Is there somethin’ else?”

Smiling at her, Zoe reached into her pocket and took out a necklace Kaylee would have recognized anywhere. Placing the pendant in Kaylee’s hand and wrapping the cord into her palm, Zoe closed the girl’s fingers over it and said, “Wash always thought this was way too nice a gift to give to us.” Kaylee looked up at her with shining eyes and Zoe smiled knowingly. “I done know that’s family keepsake, and I done know you gave it to us outta love.”

Even as Kaylee tried to return it, Zoe pushed her hand away. “You should keep it, Kaylee. It’s yours and it belongs to stay with you where it will always be a reminder of the love you give to others.”

With that, Zoe turned and exited the room, leaving Kaylee dumbfounded in her wake. How had they known that the necklace she had given them as a wedding gift, all those years ago, had been a family heirloom? Kaylee had never said a word. Truth was, at the time, it had been the only thing she had and could afford that would be an appropriate gift. She had given it to them both gladly, knowing they would appreciate the fineness with which it was carved, the detail and beauty of the symbol as well as its meaning.

Sighing heavily, Kaylee leaned back in her hammock and stared at the round pendant. She remembered when her grandma had first given it to her. She had been a little bit of a thing, no more than eight. Playing in her grammy’s jewelry box had always been one of Kaylee’s favorite pastimes; it was the one time of day when she knew her brothers wouldn’t bother her.

She’d been trying this necklace on when her grandma Frye had happened upon her. Kaylee had been sure she’d be in for a whuppin’, but instead, the old lady whom Kaylee loved something fierce had simply clasped it onto her neck and said, “Now, baby, do you know what that symbol means?”

Kaylee had studied it, not an easy thing to do as she was now looking at it upside down and shook her head. “No, ma’am.”

Sighing, her grandma sat on the edge of the bed with her and said, “That symbol is ancient, older than me,” she told her, getting a giggle from the little girl. “And you know who gave me that necklace?” Again Kaylee shook her head. “Your grandpa. You ‘member him?”

Kaylee finally nodded in the affirmative, a smile dancing across her features. Her grandpa Frye was one of the best men she had ever known in her short life. He had died about a year previous from an accident and she knew it had caused her grandma a lot of sadness, had caused all of them a lot of sadness.

“I figured as much,” her grandma murmured. “Now, he gave that to me a long, long time ago and said, ‘Kayla, I promise you that when I marry you, it will be forever and nothin’ will ever make me doubt my commitment to you.’”

“That’s real pretty, grammy,” little Kaylee breathed, her eyes closing over the pendant in awe.

Nodding, Kayla Frye blinked back a few tears. “Yes, baby it was. And that was the day, I knew I’d love your grandpa forever.”

They sat in silence for a moment and finally, Kaylee’s curiosity got the best of her. “But grammy, do you still love ‘im? Even now? He’s dead. How can he still love you?”

Smiling wide and wrapping her arm around the girl’s shoulders, Kayla pulled Kaylee into a tight embrace and said, “Girl, death can’t stop love, that’s just silly. And it can’t stop two people from always carin’ ‘bout one another. If I never teach you any thing else, I hope you’ll ‘member that.”

“I will, grammy,” Kaylee whispered, snuggling into the woman’s soft side and inhaling the scent of vanilla that always permeated her skin.

“See, nothing can stop love.”

Blinking back sudden tears, Kaylee craned her neck to see River standing in the doorway. Sitting up straighter, Kaylee tucked the necklace into her pocket and asked, “What, sweetie?”

River rolled her eyes just once and then said, “I tried to tell you before. The people we love never leave us. It’s just not possible.”

Going to Kaylee River pulled her from the hammock and said, “Even a boob can’t stop love.”

Kaylee grinned at the girl, knowing exactly who she was talking about. Reaching back into her pocket, she pulled out the necklace that meant so much to her and showed it to River. “Ain’t it pretty,” she asked quietly, staring at the carving.

River nodded once, and then taking it from her, placed it around Kaylee’s neck. “More pretty when you know what it means,” River said, wrapping her arms around the girl’s shoulders from behind and giving her a quick hug. “More pretty when you care what it means.”

Kaylee turned to give the girl one of her famous smiles and saw her own light reflected there. “I guess that’s so,” she murmured, even as River skipped away.

***

Kaylee was still wiping away some residual tears as she and Simon slowly made their way back to the ship. The night had settled on Haven, causing a cool wind to breeze by and Kaylee gratefully leaned into Simon’s warm body a little more. Noting her shiver, he pulled his arm up and placed it around her shoulders, keeping his other arm firmly planted on the crutch at his injured side.

They walked in silence like that for a few more moments, until Serenity’s open cargo bay could be seen before them. Pausing at the bottom of the ramp, Simon turned to face Kaylee, a question poised on the tip of his tongue. Kaylee turned those wide green eyes up to him, an expectant gaze locking onto his features. Suddenly feeling foolish for what he was about to ask, Simon shrugged and looked back to the open ramp. “Inclines are still a little tough,” he said lamely, wondering if thinking of the dumbest thing to say at the worst moment was a talent. Or maybe a learned skill – he should really look at marketing his abilities.

Oblivious to his internal musings, Kaylee simply wrapped her arm around his waist, enjoying the feel of his strong form leaning against hers. “Well, then just lean on me. We’ll take it slow.”

Simon thought about the double meaning behind that statement as they haltingly made it up the ramp. One painful step after another until, with just a bit of sweat breaking over his brow, Simon and Kaylee both had made it into the ship. Panting slightly, he grinned his thanks to her. She returned his smile with one of her own, one of those light-up-the-whole-‘verse smiles that made his insides weak.

Before he even realized what he was doing, Simon reached up a hand and cupped her cheek. “I’ve missed that,” he whispered, dipping his head close to hers.

“Missed what?” Her breath was warm against his cheek, their mouths only inches apart.

“That smile,” he told her, his thumb gently caressing the soft, smooth skin of her cheek, causing Kaylee’s eyes to close and a contented sigh to escape her parted lips.

Throwing any reservations his mind could muster to the wind, Simon crossed that imperceptible distance between them and pressed his lips to hers. It was a loving and passionate kiss, one full of emotion that each of them had been trying to deny for a long while. Running his hand along her face, Simon cradled the back of her head in his palm and deepened the kiss. Kaylee responded in kind, her hands coming up to rest gently against his chest as she reveled in the feel of his mouth on hers.

When there was nothing left to do but part for air, Kaylee closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the top of his chest. “That was nice, Simon,” she whispered, still having a hard time catching her breath. She had wanted to kiss him for so long, she’d thought for sure it would never happen. Now that it had, her head was swimming in that lovely way and she was enjoying it.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” he chided her, wrapping his one good arm around her and holding her close.

She smiled at him and then leaned back to look into his blue eyes. “Trust me, I ain’t surprised it was good. Just surprised it actually happened.”

Smirking at her, Simon wished he felt better. If he did, he would have tickled her and chased her from the bay, enjoying the ensuing chase until he’d finally capture her in a strong embrace and really surprised her. But that would have to wait, wait until he was healed, wait until they all had managed to heal just a bit more.

Swaying slightly on his feet, Kaylee noticed his face go pale and instantly steadied him. “Okay, doctor, I think that’s enough fun for one evening.” Turning him back towards the door to the passenger dorms, she said, “Come on, time for bed.”

“Sounds good,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He missed the smile that played across her features at the implication, but held her tighter as they made it to his bunk.

Once she had helped him lie down, Kaylee sat with him for a minute, her hand again wrapped in his. He held her gaze for many moments and then finally reached up a tired arm to point at the pendant hanging around her neck. “That’s pretty,” he told her, having noticed it earlier, but trying not to worry about what it could mean.

She glanced down at it, her other hand reaching up to cover it almost absentmindedly. “Thanks,” she muttered.

Simon swallowed hard, wondering why he felt compelled to ask her his next question, wondering why he felt she would owe him any kind of explanation. But he couldn’t help it – he was curious and damn if that kiss had made him more desperate for an answer. “It was a gift,” he asked, swallowing past his rising fear of what her answer would be.

Her eyes got a far away look that Simon had not seen too often grace her features. “Mmmhmm,” she said, still not looking at him.

Now, he was really worried. “So a gift,” he stammered, uncertain of how to phrase his next inquiry, knowing that he had no right to ask. “A gift from someone who loved you?”

Kaylee’s eyes finally snapped back to the present and she looked into his sheepish face, smiling and crying at him all at once. Of course, Simon would know what the symbol meant – commitment and marriage, and of course, a young woman such as herself wearing it would imply that she was spoken for, in a way.

Her eyes dancing with laughter, she leaned down and placed a light kiss to his cheek. “Why Simon Tam, I do believe you’re jealous.”

He stuttered, uncertain what to say because she was right. He was jealous, jealous that Kaylee had known someone who would give her such a treasure, who would make such a promise to her. And even more upset that he hadn’t known about it before now, just when he was finally ready to get past his own inhibitions and make a move. “Maybe,” he said finally, unwilling to meet her gaze.

Kaylee squeezed his hand, trying to get him to look at her, but it didn’t work. Finally, she leaned down and placed another gentle and passionate kiss to his mouth. If it was possible, she had just become more enamored with the young doctor.

“Simon,” she said, as their lips finally parted, and he finally brought his blue eyes to meet her gaze. “It was a gift from my grammy, a long time ago.” She watched as the tension drained from his body at this admission and had to chuckle at him.

“You think this is funny,” he asked her, a grin playing across his own features. A grin of equal parts relief and shame. “You had me really worried there for a minute.”

“About time,” she teased him, running a hand through his hair.

Reaching up, Simon fingered the pendant and Kaylee watched as his hand traced the carving and then flitted across her bare skin before dropping to his side. She knew he was tired, could tell by the way his eyes had started drooping not too long ago. It had been a big and emotional day for them all. “I’ve never seen you wear it before,” he said, his voice slurring from fatigue.

She sighed, and thought about her conversation with Zoe the day before. “I had given it away,” she told him, knowing he would soon be asleep. Leaning down she placed a light kiss to his forehead and then squeezed his hand as she stood to go. “You get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”

He would not drop her hand, and it forced Kaylee to look back to him. “No, stay please,” he asked, his eyes fighting to stay open, so he could look at her beautiful face. “I want to hear the story of how you got it.”

She smiled at him, her heart filling with new love and compassion for him. Ai ya, if she wasn’t falling for this swai doctor who had a propensity for sticking his foot in his mouth.

Moving back towards the bunk, Kaylee, crawled in next to him, positioning herself on his good side between him and the wall. Placing a light arm over his chest, she whispered against his cheek. “I’ll tell you some day. How ‘bout for now, you just get some sleep?”

He nodded once, unable to fight her, he was so tired. But as she cuddled in close, he didn’t care about any other thing in the ‘verse. All he cared about was the fact that she was lying warm and whole at his side. He soon fell into a contented sleep, his dreams full of thoughts of marriage and commitment, all having to do with the perfect woman lying next to him.