It was time. Serenity was ready for take-off. It had taken many weeks and more workers to restore her to the sleek flying machine she was supposed to be instead of the piecemeal conglomeration that Mal had created to get them past the Reavers to Miranda. The sky was pouring down rain, almost as if the world itself was trying to wash the ship clean and make everything alright. Zoe knew differently, however. For her, the sheets of rain were the tears she dare not shed, the thunder and lightning the expressions of anger and revenge that would do her no good. She kicked at a buffer panel before finally entering the cargo bay. On her way up through the kitchen, she decided that she would pay a quick visit to the engine room. Instead, she encountered River passing the other direction. She smiled enigmatically and said, “'I wouldn't go down there if I was you.” “Why not?" Zoe replied testily. “Kaylee's getting her thrusters aligned”, she said with a mischievous sparkle in her eye. Zoe was at first shocked by River’s candor, then she was hit with the realization that it could be a long time, if ever, that she got her “thrusters aligned” since her marvelous Wash was now pushing up daisies. Just then, she heard the com buzz, and was relieved to hear they were clear for take-off. She headed back for the cargo bay to inform Mal.

He was still talking to that hot-ze de pigu who was at least partially responsible for this whole mess. Zoe knew that to inflict physical harm onto the Operative would not only piss Mal off, but would likely bring down more trouble from the Alliance, no matter how much the Operative claimed he was no longer working for them. Finally, though, the idiot left, and she was able to deliver her report. “Sir, we have a green light. Inspection’s pos, and we’re clear for upthrust.” “Think she’ll hold together?” Zoe knew damn well he wasn’t referring to Serenity, but she gave him the look that said he shouldn’t worry and replied, “She’s tore up plenty, but she’ll fly true.” Mal nodded. “Make sure everything’s secure. Could be bumpy.” Zoe sighed internally. “Always is.”

Mal left, probably to the bridge, but Zoe didn’t know WHERE to go. Anywhere on this boat would remind her of her man. She briefly considered leaving Serenity, but she knew that Mal would feel lost without her. She sat on one of the many stairways in the cargo hold while she considered her options. Suddenly, the ship shook and bucked for a moment. Zoe knew that was the reaction of a buffer panel being ripped away by the atmospheric friction, and felt a moment of amused guilt. After all, it could have been her fault for kicking one of ‘em, and that tore it loose. She headed to the bridge to tell Mal, although he probably already knew. Couldn’t hurt to stop in at a reputable way station, though. Get a new buffer panel and cast ‘round for a new pilot while they’re at it. After all, Mal might know the basics, but when it came to the frantic stuff, the man could not find the thrusters with both hands. Chuckling to herself, she mounted the steps to the bridge and then froze at the sight that greeted her disbelieving eyes. Her vision whited out, and she clenched her teeth. What is SHE doing in the co-pilot’s seat? Zoe just stood, taking heavy breaths, knowing that she couldn’t afford to do anything rash. Still, she was PISSED. Hiring a new pilot was one thing, but if you expected her to trust her life to a seventeen year old genius schizophrenic, you had another think coming! River must have sensed her boiling ire, for she turned around in her seat and greeted her solemnly. “Hello, Zoe. Did you have something to say?” Mal glanced over his shoulder at his first mate and noticed her anger. Hell, after so many years together, it was only the trust they had built that gave him the courage to approach her in the first place. He didn’t think he had EVER seen Zoe so peeved without killin’ anybody. He opened his mouth to speak, but Zoe beat him to it. “Cap, what’s goin’ on? Have you lost your ever-lovin’ marbles?” “I didn’t see any problem with her helpin’ me. Perhaps you could tell me what’s got you so riled up!” River chimed in. “She thinks I’m still crazy. She’s afraid that I’ll pull some stunt that will get us crashed or killed. Also, she really doesn’t like the idea of anybody sitting up here besides the new pilot, and even THAT she’s wary of.” Zoe took a deep breath. “What she said is true, Mal. I KNOW we gotta get us a new pilot because you don’t have any proper training. Added to which, the jobs you pick up are almost always contingent on your participating, and you need to know that Serenity’s ready for take off when you get back and isn’t dependent on you flyin’ her. I trust you, Mal- and I trusted my man. Please don’t ask me to trust her right now. I don’t think I could handle it.” River’s eyes filled with sympathy and she stood near Zoe, perhaps sensing that to touch her would be a VERY big mistake. “I think that a promise on my part not to come up here and fly unless I’m needed would go a long way towards making things right. After all, just because I know HOW to do somethin’ doesn’t mean I should.” A small smile touched Zoe’s lips and she turned to the girl. “Thank you. Understand that if you were more like the woman I know you should be, I don’t think I’d have as big a problem with you perching in that there chair. Heaven knows, you’d probably be better than the Captain at maneuvering this bird.” Mal clutched at an imaginary wound as he replied, “Alright, enough, already. We’re gonna be comin’ up on Inara’s moon in a couple o’ hours. Zoe, you get down to that engine room and tell Kaylee that she needs to get her good-byes said. Not to mention, I’m sure Simon wouldn’t mind making a list of med supplies we need. Soon as we’re done at the Training House, I intend to head for one of the more ‘civilized’ outer planets and see if we can’t rustle us up some work. Maybe get us those beagles we was discussin’.” Zoe felt a twinge of pain at what Mal was askin’ her to do, but she understood. Inara had to pack, and Jayne would be insensitive. River would probably just watch in adolescent fascination while nothing got done for the ship. She turned to go, and River left with her. “Don’t worry; I’m just headed for my room. I don’t make promises I don’t intend to keep.” They parted ways near the shuttle bays and Zoe plowed on. She came across Inara’s shuttle, and she decided to take a risk. She knocked briskly three times and then let herself in without preamble.

“Still haven’t learned to use manners, have we?” Inara’s voice floated from the back of the shuttle. “Don’t rightly know about that, seeing as how I came to visit the way you told me.” “Oh, Zoe! I’m sorry, I just assumed….” Zoe smiled wryly. “I know, and normally, you’d probably be right. For this instance, however, I think you’re a little relieved to be wrong. Am I disturbing you?” “No, I really don’t have any packing I have left to do. I only had the one trunk that I left here….and I confess that I’m tempted to leave it again.” Zoe gave her a stern look. “Why are you putting him through this?” Inara sputtered. “How dare you? I’m not doing anything…” “Oh, yes, you are, and you know it inside. You want to be the one standing triumphant, showing the entire world that you’re the important one. You know what I think? You’ve got this vaunted idea of yourself from the work that you have and the kind of study you put yourself through, and you’re scared to pieces because you know if you let yourself go and really love him, you’ll lose all that importance. You’re demanding he give up everything in order to be with you. Why so uncompromising?” Inara looked to be on the verge of tears. “I can’t give up who I am for him! It’s unreasonable! How am I supposed to make a living? Or am I supposed to just let him provide for me? On the basis that he MIGHT finally deign to give me whatever shreds of affection he might have to offer? Am I being so unreasonable to demand an outright statement of love and intent before I commit myself to something so irrevocably?” Zoe gripped her shoulders. “I think you’re both being so pig-headed that you refuse to see how perfect you are for each other, and it just kills me inside. If I could go back and talk to me in the past, I’d tell me to get off my high horse and realize that the reason I was so uncomfortable with Wash in the first place is that he was so perfect for me. I’ve lost him, now. I’ve lost any opportunity for a life with him. I just don’t want to see you standing in my place 5 minutes after we take off from the House Moon.” Inara nodded. “I can’t say as I agree with your methods, Zoe, but I’ll try.” “Good. Don’t make me regret showing you my soft side. I better leave now, though. Cap’n wants Simon to make a list of supplies, and Kaylee’s gotta leave him alone long enough for him to put two thoughts together.” As she left, she heard Inara giggle at her parting riposte. She mentally geared herself up for the next encounter, for she knew it would be difficult to see or hear the new lovebirds’ happiness as a contrast to her present state of mind.

She stood outside the Engine Room and called out, “Hey, Kaylee, you decent?” She knew, even after everything, the spunky little mechanic would still blush at the implications. “I’m comin’ in to rescue the doc so he can take a look-see at what we need, ok?” Kaylee popped her head into the doorframe and sunnily said, “Don’t worry, Zoe, I’m not insatiable. I figured Cap’n would want Simon to do somethin’ like that, so I gave his butt a whack about five minutes ago and told him to go earn his keep.” “Kaylee, can I have a quick word with you?” “Sure, Zoe, what’s up?” “You using contraceptives?” “What?!! How’s that any o’ your business?” Zoe gave her a knowing look. “I doubt that you’re ready to have a child at this point in your relationship. Since I’ve still got plenty, I was just wonderin’ if you’d be wanting it so it wouldn’t go to waste.” A pall of sadness came over Kaylee’s face as she comprehended the entirety of what Zoe was saying. She gave Zoe a quick hug- the only person still on board who could get away with this- and said, “Zoe, I’ve got my own, but if you’re willing to give me yours, I’ll take it.” Zoe nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. Now all she had to do was wait to land. She contented herself by clomping along the hallway to the bridge. “Hey! What’s the big idea? Some of us’re tryin’ to get some sleep down here.” Zoe glanced over disdainfully. “Since when do you sleep at this time of the cycle?” Jayne grinned rapturously. “Since I heard we’re goin’ to a whole world full o’ Companions! I’m thinking they need plenty of trainin’, and I sure as heck wouldn’t mind volunteering myself to be trained on.” She shook her head, knowing by now that Jayne was entirely serious about this proposition. “Jayne, even if we DO stay for longer than a day or two, I sincerely doubt that ‘Nara would let you anywhere NEAR those girls. ‘Sides, even if you did get into the house, those girls could kick your butt from here to Earth-that-was.” Jayne looked crestfallen, and Zoe almost laughed. She had gotten a mental picture of Inara locking Jayne in his bunk so he couldn’t do any harm, and with that she got an idea. An evil, wonderful idea. “Jayne!” “Yeah, Zoe?” “Go get the Doc. I’ll get Kaylee and River. Meet me in the kitchen in five minutes. I got an idea.” A short time later, Zoe entered into the kitchen, hearing this from Jayne. “Aw, hell, I didn’t hit you or nuthin’. I just pulled ya away ‘cause you wouldn’t listen to me!” Zoe froze, not knowing how to diffuse this potential problem when River piped up. “Don’t worry about him, Simon. He’s just acting out because he’s still a Neanderthal in modern dress.” She smiled seraphically at the now upset Jayne. “We have something more important to address.” Kaylee smiled sympathetically at Simon and started to reach out to give Jayne a reassuring pat when Zoe regained her aplomb. “Alright, y’all didn’t know why I called you, but thank you for coming. I broughtcha because we need to do something about the situation between the Captain and Inara. I know Mal, and he’s not gonna back down from where he stands without a fight, and the same goes with Inara. I’m thinking that we need to force them to be together until they either hate each other or they admit they’re in love. Thoughts?” Jayne spit and rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why you all are so consumed with the idea of lovin’ only one person. Shucks, if ‘twer up to me, everybody’d just be getting trim all the day and fightin’ all the night!” River glared. “This is not Valhalla, Jayne. Such a life is unrealistic. You would die within two weeks of living that life.” “Ah, but what a couple o’ weeks those’d be!” Kaylee and Simon beamed at each other, then Kaylee decided to go first. “Selfishly, I want ‘Nara to stay. But I’d rather she leave with her and the Cap’n sharing an understanding than her staying on the ship and them never getting this thing settled.” Simon seemed to be considering the practical side of things. “Saying that we all agreed to this, how would you go about doing it?” Zoe smiled mischievously. “I was thinking that we lock them in one of the shuttles- say, for about a week. Give ‘em food and water, but make it clear that they ain’t comin out till we’re good and ready for them to. I ain’t saying this is gonna be easy, but it needs to be done.” River gave her a knowing look and said, “I know why you’re really doing this, Zoe. Part of this is right, but the part that thinks this will help you is wrong. The only person or thing that can help you is you….and eventually my brother.” Zoe looked at her askance. “What are you talking about, River?” River just shook her head. “You’ll find out. I’m on board with the plan, though.” Kaylee weighed in. “I could rig the shuttle doors to only unlock from the outside.” “Would you be able to reverse it?” “Oh, yeah, no problem. It’s just re-wiring it. Shouldn’t take me but two hours.” “Get on it, Kaylee. Doc, do you have something that we can knock them out with, temporarily?” “Several things would work, but would need a follow-up shot to waken them…I think I saw some old-fashioned nitrate that I could prepare that would last for a few hours…” “That would be long enough for what we have intended. We need to know when they wake up, after all.” “I’ll go fiddle with dosages…how heavy would you say Inara is?” “Probably in the neighborhood of 120 lbs, doc. Need the Cap’s weight?” “No, I got that from when he lost all that blood.” Jayne interjected. “I don’t see what good some old nitrate would do.” Simon gave him a patronizing look. “Mixed with the proper ratio of oxygen, it creates nitrous oxide, which has been used safely for hundreds of years to knock folks out.” “How’s it do that?” “It interferes with their breathing, convulsing their lungs through expelling more carbon dioxide than they get oxygen...”Noticing the increasingly confused look on Jayne’s face, he simplified it. “They start laughing and can’t get enough air, so they pass out.” “Ya mean they laugh themselves asleep?” “Basically.” “Good enough. Jayne, you think that you can lift and carry them into the shuttle? I don’t think we can lure them in there on their own.” “Yeah, sure, why not? Only promise me that I’ll get to have some Companioning!” “Can’t make that promise, Jayne, but we can certainly try. River, I need you to be prepared to take over flying and landing if we have to do this in the air. Do you think you can handle it?” “No problem, Zoe. I know that’s not your first preference, though, so I’ll be prepared for that, too. Since I can go onto the bridge without suspicion, I should probably be the one to gas the Captain.” Zoe nodded distractedly, realizing the wisdom in that. “Kaylee, you’re closest to Inara. Do you think you could do this?” Kaylee stuck out her chin. “I don’t like knocking her out, but if it means the Cap’n has to tell her how he feels, I can do it.” “Alright people, good plan. Just remember that what we’re doing is an act of desperation. A last stand, if you will.” River chuckled. “At least in this one, nobody’s gonna die.”