A/N: If you haven't yet read the Prolouge, Chapter 1 or Chapter 2 of this series, I recommend it, otherwise, this chapter in particular won't make any sense!

Thanks must go to the inimitable Leiasky for ... well, just about everything!

Oh, and comments do make the chapters come faster - it's true, leave one and find out!

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A NEW LIFE, ch. 3: One + One = Three

***

As the lights dimmed in the large theater and the orchestra tuned, Simon felt a wave of regret sweep over him. Uncertain as to its cause, he tried to bury the feeling, instead focusing on the music as it swelled to a crescendo announcing the arrival of act one.

As the first dancers took the stage, Simon watched in awe as the young ballerina playing Giselle danced on from the wings. This time an even sharper pang of longing struck him and he inhaled quickly as if physically hit. Alicia reached a hand over to pat his arm gently and he turned to meet her quizzical gaze. Smiling through his sudden sadness, Simon nodded once to assure her he was all right and then firmly fixed his eyes back on the stage.

He watched with rapt attention as the prima ballerina executed her steps with grace and practiced precision. Smiling tightly, he thought wistfully, she always did love to dance.

Who? What a weird thought to have, Simon regarded, trying not to tense noticeably for fear that Alicia would again pick up on his strange mood. Who had always loved to dance? Glancing down to the program in his hand, Simon scanned the list of the company quickly, not recognizing one name. Closing his eyes for a moment, he considered when the last time was he had seen a ballet. Nothing sprang to mind except the blurry image of a young girl with flowing black hair twirling on her toes in the foyer of his home. As Simon tried to concentrate further on the image, he realized that she couldn’t have been more than six or seven and he watched in amazement as she went up perfectly en pointe and continued her endless pirouettes.

Just as quickly as it had come, the image vanished and Simon felt a twinge of sadness at its absence. Opening his eyes again, he wondered for a brief moment if he wasn’t having a nervous breakdown. This was ridiculous – he didn’t even have any cousins who could or would dance, especially not in his house. What could be causing such a vivid flashback?

Leaning over, he started slightly as Alicia whispered, “Simon, are you all right? You look pale.”

Squeezing the hand she still had resting on his arm, Simon gave her a quick peck on the cheek as he answered back, “Yes, I’m fine. Let’s enjoy the performance.”

With that, he again focused on the performers in front of him trying to shake the familiarity of the girl in his vision and the sadness it had brought.

***

The nights in Capitol City were some of the prettiest on any core planet. Despite the industrialization the sky was still clear, not marred by the pollution that seemed to plague other worlds. So as Simon and Alicia strolled along the top of the Opera House’s terrace, they could see all the stars, shining down on them from the big, open sky.

They had walked in silence for much of this first twenty minute intermission. Simon was still bothered by his brief flash of – what, exactly? Was it a memory? He had no clue. While everything about the image had seemed foreign, something about the girl, although he had never seen her face, seemed as familiar to him as his own breath and he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more, buried somewhere in his brain, that would help to shed some light on his confusion.

Breaking the silence between them, Alicia cleared her throat and said, “The young woman dancing Giselle is wonderful, don’t you think?”

Simon blushed at her obvious attempt at small talk and realized he’d been quite rude to make her search for a topic of conversation. “Most definitely,” he agreed, stopping and leaning against the chest high railing at the roof’s edge, trying to bury the unease he felt. Gazing across the cityscape before him, Simon realized he’d stopped directly in front of the hospital.

Alicia stood beside him and matched his pose, following his gaze until it too landed on their place of employment. “You know, it is okay to take a night off,” she teased. “The hospital will still be standing tomorrow.”

Simon grinned at her and leaned to face her. She was a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair that fell to her shoulders and blue eyes. She was slightly shorter than Simon and the dress she wore tonight showed off her lithe body in a very pleasing manner. Again focusing on her face, he crossed his arms over his chest and decided to give as good as he got. “You’re one to talk, Dr. Sampson. You’re almost a worse workaholic than me.”

Alicia nodded thoughtfully, her face still belying her amusement. “I’m sorry, Doctor Tam, but that assessment is completely inaccurate,” she told him, stepping closer to him. She threaded her arm through his and looked him in the eyes as she said sincerely, “There is no worse workaholic than you.”

Smiling at her, Simon laughed, a genuine laugh that caused them both to giggle. The lights on the roof flashed indicating it was time to go back in for the second act. Keeping her arm in his, Simon guided his date back to the entrance, following behind some of the other couples who were also heading back to their seats.

Pausing just before they reached the doorway, Alicia pulled on his arm, forcing him to look at her. “Simon,” she started slowly, her voice low.

Puzzled, he returned his friend’s look and asked, “Yes? Are you all right?”

She smiled at him again and reassured, “Yes, fine. I was just … well, I was wondering, are you all right?”

Simon considered the question, wondering where it had come from. Feeling more than embarrassed, he said, “I’m so sorry, Alicia. I realize I have not been the most attentive date this evening and that’s not fair to you. I …”

“No, silly,” she told him, finally turning to face him. Now that he could fully see her face, Simon realized she was truly concerned. “Not the date, I’m having a wonderful time, really. I mean, in general. Are you okay?”

Simon thought briefly to his earlier unease and toyed with the idea of telling his friend about it. But it was nothing, it had to be, and admitting it, especially to a psychiatrist would just make him sound crazy, and Simon could not afford that, not now. He was just getting everything back on track.

Shaking off the thoughts, he smiled widely at the beautiful girl at his side and again took her arm in his. “I’m fine, but thanks for asking.” Opening the door, he ushered her inside. “Now, come on, I don’t want to miss the second act.”

As they made their way to their seats, Simon secretly hoped that as the second act unfolded he might discover more clues as to the identity of the mystery dancer he had envisioned before. Despite his reassurances to his friend that everything was okay, the unease that permeated his entire being had put him on edge. It had been the briefest flash of the briefest memory, but the sight of the girl and the joy he knew she felt when twirling stayed with him far into the night.

***

“Mal?”

Inara awoke to the sounds of grunting and heavy breathing. Rolling over on her bed, she noticed that Mal was not beside her as usual. But by the noise, she knew he was still in the room. Rolling all the way over to his side of the bed, she looked down to the floor and saw him there, doing push-ups, hence the noise. And judging by the amount of sweat glistening on his back, he’d been at it for a while too.

“Mal, sweetie? What’s wrong?”

Mal dropped to his chest at the sound of her voice and waited a full count of ten before rolling over to regard her. As soon as he did, he knew he was toast. Inara’s beautiful features gazed at him with such love and concern he wondered, not for the first time, how he’d ever gotten to be so lucky. Even half asleep, his girl was still the prettiest lady in the ‘verse and he knew he sure as hell didn’t deserve her.

Placing his hands behind his head, Mal decided that ignoring her was the best course of action. Starting crunches, he said between breaths, “Nothin’s wrong, ‘Nara. Sorry if I woke ya.”

Propping herself up on one elbow, Inara watched as he did about fifty sit-ups, before deciding to put an end to this. Whatever was bothering Mal, causing himself to awaken tomorrow with a stiff back would not fix it.

Reaching down her other hand, Inara gently placed it against his chest, her fingers gliding over his skin and feeling his heartbeat. Mal stopped at the touch, his whole body responding to Inara in a way that it had never responded to another woman before. She was amazing. “Mal, tell me, please.”

Flopping onto his back, Mal waited until his breathing had returned to a normal rate before asking, “Why does something have to be wrong?”

Giving him a skeptical look, Inara answered flatly, “You do not work out, especially in the middle of the night, unless you are truly bothered by something. So why don’t you stop being so proud and tell me what it is?”

Mal regarded her brown eyes for a moment more, before launching himself towards her, his lips capturing hers in a fierce kiss. She responded instantly, her hands and mouth working fervently to return his emotions, his passions. She loved him, it was as simple and complicated as that, and as she felt him run his hands up her neck and draw her closer, she sighed against him, feeling more content and alive then she ever had before.

When they parted, both panting hard, Inara found her voice and whispered, “So, you’re not going to tell me then?”

Mal sighed, and rose, crawling into bed beside her. Inara made room for him and waited until he’d settled himself, before resting her head against his chest and snuggling close. “It’s the same old stuff, darlin,’” he finally admitted, dropping an arm around her shoulders and holding her close. “I wish it were somethin’ new, but it ain’t.”

“Kaylee,” Inara elaborated, proud that she had managed to say her friend’s name without her voice breaking.

“Kaylee, Simon, Wash, Book,” Mal rattled off the list of people they’d lost in the past year, his voice growing heavy with the weight of his emotion. He hadn’t just lost crew members or friends, he’d lost family and Inara knew that weighed more on him than he could ever put into words. “I just can’t believe I failed ‘em all.”

Inara’s head shot up to look at him and when he met her gaze he could see determination burning in her eyes. “You listen to me, Malcolm Reynolds,” she told him, her voice holding a warning that he had better pay attention. “You haven’t failed anyone on this ship. All you have ever done for any of us is protect us and keep us safe and look out for us. Wash and Book knew that and Simon did too.” She paused again, thinking on Kaylee’s last day on board, just a little over five months ago. The pain in the girl’s features, the stiffness with which she’d walked away still stung Inara every time she thought on it. Pushing past her own grief, she continued quietly, “And Kaylee knows it too. I just hope that one day soon, she can move past her pain and see that. I want her to come home just as much as you,” she finished, tears she had not expected falling silently down her cheeks.

Mal felt the first tear drop hit his bare chest, and he raised a hand to brush them away. Pulling her back to him, he held her tightly, placing a little kiss on the crown of her head. Maybe Inara was right, maybe their family could be healed, if lil’ Kaylee would only come back, things might actually start to go back to the way they’d been.

But with a sadness that Mal had become too accustomed to, he knew it would take more than wishful thinking and another apology to get his mei mei back on his boat. And if she wouldn’t even see him, then he had his work cut out for him.

“She’ll come back, bao bei,” he whispered into Inara’s hair as she continued to cry silently. “We just got to give it time.”

***

“Zoe!”

At the sound of Mal’s voice, Zoe emerged from her bunk, already dressed for the day despite how early it was. She met Mal just as he strode past her and to the bridge. She followed him not at all surprised to see River already there, her slim fingers working the controls.

“We got a job,” Mal told her proudly, shoving the slip of paper with the coordinates on it to his pilot. With a quick shake of her head, River refused the aid. She didn’t need them.

Shrugging slightly, Mal stuffed the paper into his pocket as Zoe asked, “What’s the job, sir?”

“Simple and legitimate, I might add,” Mal bragged, sitting in the co-pilot’s seat as River finished the pre-flight checks and raised his bird into the air. “There’s some scrap parts lying out on the rim that have some buyers a little closer to the middle. We’re going to transport it.”

Zoe nodded once. It did indeed sound simple; legitimate she would believe when she saw it. “Who’s the buyer?”

Mal turned a wicked grin on her and his first mate immediately regretted asking the question. “The Everetts,” he stated slyly, again turning to look out the cockpit’s window as the ship rose through the blue and into the black. “Yes siree, seems we’ll be making a stop on Beaumonde in just about two months.”

Zoe cocked an eyebrow at the back of his head, wondering if perhaps Mal had decided he didn’t like living so much. She had seen the resolve on Kaylee’s face when the girl had walked off this boat. She had made it perfectly clear to them all that she wanted nothing to do with any of them. Mal had of course been saddened and upset and along with the rest of them they had tried to find a way to go on with such a broken family.

But now it seemed her friend was ready to just throw all of his good intentions out the window and only prove to upset Kaylee and drive her further away in the process. Stifling a sigh, Zoe asked, “You really think that’s a good idea, sir?”

Turning a completely dumbfounded gaze on her, Zoe would have laughed under any other circumstance. “What’d ya mean? This is as legit as it gets and we stand to make some pretty decent coin too.” Rising, Mal strode the few steps to meet her and asked, “What’s your problem?”

“My problem, sir, is that you know Kaylee don’t want to see you or any of us. I don’t think forcin’ our way back into her life is gonna do anybody any good.” Zoe held Mal’s gaze and watched him try and deny that she had guessed at his ulterior motives – to no avail.

However, he wasn’t stupid enough to admit it outright. Turning from her, he headed off the bridge and down towards the galley. “Look Zoe, we need a job, we need the coin and we need somethin’ easy.” Waving the piece of paper with the coordinates on it over his head, he called back, “This is it.”

Zoe watched him go and with a sigh followed him, leaving River alone the bridge. The young girl set the auto-pilot and then pulled her knees into her chest, staring out at the stars. “Won’t matter,” she murmured, as she stared into nothing. “Won’t be there anyway.”

***

Kaylee was back on Serenity. The engine room was as familiar to her as anywhere in the ‘verse, and she smiled as she heard the hum of the engine, telling her all was right with the world.

Another sound drew her attention away from the spinning heart, and Kaylee turned with an even wider grin on her face as her baby cried. With shushing noises she had adopted through practice, Kaylee lifted the dark-haired baby from the makeshift bassinet she’d put in the room and rocked him gently against her chest. She cooed and whispered to him, bouncing him gently as she paced around the room, trying to get him back to sleep.

Gazing down into his beautiful face, his blue eyes, so very much like his daddy’s stared up at her, the tears he had started to cry drying quickly as he felt the love and peace coming off his mother in waves.

So content was Kaylee with the little bundle in her arms, she didn’t notice Simon standing in the doorway, a bemused grin on his face at the sight before him. Kaylee turned finally and caught his gaze, blushing at being caught in the middle of some unabashed baby talk. But without a word, Simon crossed the small distance between them and wrapped his arms around them both, planting a gentle kiss on the baby’s head and turning an even more passionate kiss on her.

Kaylee sunk into the feeling – for some reason it felt so foreign – and reveled in the warmth and comfort of Simon’s touch. With an abruptness she did not expect, Kaylee felt the contact vanish and when she again opened her eyes, terror quickly replaced her content. Simon was gone, her baby was gone and she was no longer on Serenity. She was instead standing in the middle of a gray, utilitarian room, with walls higher than she could see. It was cold here and Kaylee wrapped her arms around herself, fighting to keep Simon’s warmth on her skin.

Crying from the shock and the loneliness, Kaylee circled the room, screaming out, “Simon! Simon, please come back!”

As her voice became raw from use, Kaylee’s tears quickly made speech impossible. She knew he wouldn’t come, no matter how hard she cried or how loudly she yelled. She knew he was gone and her baby, his baby, their baby was gone from her too. Even that innocent life could not survive the pain of her loss.

With paralyzing despair washing through her, Kaylee sank to her knees, her entire body wracked by sobs and wailed loudly. She was alone, again, and she was terrified.

“Simon!”

With a start, Kaylee awoke, her face and pillow drenched with her tears and mingled with sweat. Rolling onto her side, Kaylee cradled her growing belly and buried her face in her pillow, crying hot tears that would not stop.

It had been so real, at first; but it was a dream, that’s all. Simon was still gone, she was still alone. And she still didn’t know how to go on living without him.

Inhaling sharply, Kaylee’s hands jumped off her stomach as she felt a sharp blow to her right side. Startled, Kaylee held her breath waiting for it to happen again and seconds later, it did. With realization, she placed her hand back over the spot on her middle and waited one more time. And she was again rewarded with a sound kick against her hand.

She smiled slightly through her tears. Leave it to her baby, to Simon’s baby, to know how to cheer her when she was sad. It seemed a sign, sent from somewhere, telling her she wasn’t alone, not truly. She still had this one little piece of Simon to hold onto, to care for, and she would. No matter how hard it became or how much she wanted to die, she would love this baby with all her heart could give because it was part Simon. It was all she had left of the love of her life, and so she would shower it with all the affection she could manage. She owed that to him.

So lost in thought, she did not hear the door to her room open, and was startled when she felt a gentle hand rest on her shoulder. “You all right, sweetie?” Marie’s quiet voice broke her reverie, and Kaylee rolled onto her back, her tear-stained cheeks shining in the moonlight that crossed her bed.

She tried to smile at the older woman, to assure her that everything was fine, but Kaylee could not do it. She could not continue to put on a happy face for everyone. Maybe at a different time or a different place or maybe never again – Kaylee doubted she would ever again live her life in the same happy-go-lucky style she once had. Everything was too different.

Deciding to avoid as much of her pain as possible, Kaylee propped herself up slightly, gratefully accepting Marie’s assistance. When she was more or less sitting, she took Marie’s hand in her own, and placed it over the spot on her belly where she had felt the baby only moments before. “The baby kicked,” she explained, hoping that it would do it again for the older woman.

The little tap against her stomach hit Marie’s hand and the woman jumped back involuntarily, letting out a little “Oh!” at the contact. Smiling brightly at Kaylee, she patted her hand and said, “That’s a strong one you got there.”

While meant to be a compliment, the statement brought more tears to Kaylee’s eyes. They fell silently as she played with her hands in her lap unable to bring her eyes back up to meet Marie’s concerned gaze. “Oh sweetie,” Marie whispered, scooting forward on the bed and pushing some of Kaylee’s hair behind her ears. Resting a hand against her cheek, she asked, “Were you dreamin’?”

Not able to trust her voice, Kaylee just nodded, trying to banish the memory of Simon’s arms around her; never again.

Marie watched the girl struggle in silence for a few more moments, her heart breaking for the young woman. Kaylee had been unbelievably strong in the past three months since she’d been with her and Walt. She continued to work, longer and harder than any other mechanic, and she was always sure to keep any doctor’s appointments, watching after the health of her unborn child with a determination that Marie suspected was driven not only by love but loss. But while Kaylee had been strong, in Marie’s mind she had also been stoic, and for a girl like her, who Marie seemed to remember always smiling, bottling up this much emotion for this long would do her no good. And in the end it could end up harming her and that little one she was already so in love with.

Deciding to see if she could get the girl to open up, Marie took one of the girl’s hands in hers, and asked, “Who’s Simon?”

At the sharp intake of breath and the sound of a sob Marie knew beyond a doubt who the Simon was that Kaylee yelled for in her sleep. Tonight was not the first time Walt and Marie had been awakened by the girl’s nightmares. It was however the first night that they’d been so intense, which is what had prompted Marie to check on her. A look at Kaylee’s face and she understood fully why the girl always said the man’s name with a pain in her voice that could never be matched.

“Is he the baby’s father?” Marie kept her voice low, waiting to see if Kaylee would open up.

Kaylee couldn’t. She knew Marie was only trying to help; she knew that the older woman was gentle and kind and wanted the best for Kaylee and her baby. But she couldn’t talk about Simon. Simon was a private pain and a private memory that Kaylee held tight to her heart. Her grief was a comfort, because it meant she hadn’t moved on. She feared, beyond reason, that if she talked about Simon, if she allowed herself to grieve, he would disappear from her life, from her heart, from her mind and she would learn to go on without him. But how could she? How could someone survive the loss of their love? No, it was better to keep him locked away so that she’d never forget him, it was better to hold onto the ache so that she could remember she was still alive. It was better to keep the emptiness in her heart so that she would always know what she was missing, so she would never forget how wonderful her life had been … once.

“Where is he now,” Marie asked another question, noticing the girl’s tears dry and her face harden as she continued to pry.

“Dead.” It was one word and it held no emotion. Marie had never heard Kaylee’s voice so cold. It chilled her and she tried to suppress the shiver.

The two women sat in silence for a few more moments. Marie watched as Kaylee’s entire body went rigid. She was steeling herself against her memories, against her emotions, Marie could see that. She was trying to bury the pain and it injured Marie to see her so hurt.

“Do you want to tell me about him?”

She shook her head once and Marie had to admit she was surprised. “Why?”

Turning her empty eyes to the woman, Kaylee said steadily, “Because he’s mine. And I don’t want to share him.”

Startled Marie tried to think through the girl’s logic. She had never lost someone she loved so dearly. Her folks had both passed and a few relatives here and there, but she had never lost someone whom she’d been in love with. She imagined that if she lost Walt she would be much like Kaylee, closed off and angry. But she was an old woman and the years had hardened her. Kaylee was too young, too full of life, close to having a new life to care for, to be that way.

“What’re you gonna do when that little one asks about its pa,” Marie asked, pointing to Kaylee’s stomach. Kaylee’s hands immediately covered the round bulge, as if shielding the child from the woman’s finger. “Are you gonna tell them no?”

Kaylee hadn’t thought that far ahead. She couldn’t think much past tomorrow, let alone five years from now when her son or daughter would start asking questions about his or her father. What would she say? Would she say he was a good man whom had died for a good cause? Or would she shield them from that harsh reality and say that he had passed in his sleep before they had been born? Or would she truly say nothing at all?

More tears fell and Kaylee wished they would stop. She thought for sure she had cried out all she had, but as they continued to stain her cheeks with salty trails, Kaylee knew she would never stop crying over Simon.

Focusing on her belly, she did not meet Marie’s gaze as she whispered, “What do you want to know?”

Suppressing a sigh of relief, Marie asked quietly, “What was he like?”

Kaylee thought back for a moment, remembering a time when she would have answered that question with words like uptight and boring. But with the briefest hint of a smile, she said instead, “Warm and caring. He was always looking out for those he loved, always trying to do the right thing.” Kaylee’s breath caught in her throat as she realized she had just described the exact traits that had gotten her bao bei killed.

“What did he do?”

“He was a doctor, a surgeon,” Kaylee said proudly, a true smile gracing her features. “He was a ruttin’ good one too. Wasn’t no wound, no illness he couldn’t fix. Came in handy too, on a boat like Serenity,” she told the woman, finally bringing her eyes to meet hers. “All of us been shot or hurt one time or ‘nother. But Simon was always there, patchin’ us up, keeping us healthy.” Kaylee absentmindedly rubbed her belly, her heart tightening with new grief as she realized that Simon, the best doctor she had ever known, would not be there for the birth of his own child.

Marie watched the girl’s expression as she went from sad to happy and back again. She could tell it was doing Kaylee some good to speak of him and she wanted that to continue. “How did you two meet?”

Kaylee brought her eyes up to meet Marie’s and there was no mistaking the light that shone in them at the memory. “He was lookin’ for transport and we was lookin’ for passengers,” she answered simply, punctuating the sentence with a slight shrug. “Course, cap’n didn’t like him, not at first, and then there was …” Kaylee trailed off as she realized speaking too much about Simon or River might still put them in jeopardy. After Simon had been taken River’s warrant had been rescinded and to Kaylee’s knowledge she was no longer being pursued, but still … Deciding to err on the side of caution, Kaylee said simply, “He came on Serenity with his sis, and she was a little different. Took the crew a while to warm up to ‘em is all.”

“But not you,” Marie encouraged, guessing she already knew the answer.

Shaking her head, Kaylee said, “Naw, I figure there’s so many folks in the ‘verse, it don’t make no sense to go passin’ judgment on people. Everyone’s got a right to live their own life, so long as they don’t hurt nobody else in the process, and Simon, well, he wouldn’t hurt a fly.

“It’s part of the reason I fell in love with him,” she finished wistfully, thinking to all the moments they had spent talking and laughing and kissing. All the nights he had told her his fears or she had confided her dreams – all the things they had shared, thinking they would have all the time in the ‘verse to be together.

“What’s the other part,” Marie asked, noticing the girl’s eyes start to drift to a far away place.

Bringing her thoughts back to the present, Kaylee smiled wickedly and whispered, “He was yummy, Marie.” Both women giggled together and Marie realized it was the first time she had heard Kaylee laugh since she’d been there. “I mean, I’ve seen some might fine-lookin’ boys in the ‘verse, but Simon …” She trailed off thinking of how taken she had been the minute she’d set eyes on him. At first it had just been those fancy clothes and that swai smile he used sparingly, but slowly, over time, it had been the intensity of his eyes and the way his left cheek dimpled when he smiled. Or the way he’d place his hand on the small of her back when guiding her through a door; his touch when she rolled over in the middle of the night, scared from some nameless dream; the feel of his strong arms as they wrapped around her, holding her tight; the sight of his lithely cut muscles and the way his skin warmed at her touch; the sound of his breath against her cheek as they lay together after making love … There were a million reasons, but Kaylee could not think of any more as her emotions again overwhelmed her.

Dropping her face into her hands, she cried more, her tears coming fast. Marie leaned forward and wrapped her into a hug and Kaylee fell against the woman’s chest, realizing that she was crying like a baby, but too tired to care. Most moments of most days Kaylee could barely breathe it hurt so much to think of him. It took most all of her energy to keep herself moving, to make sure she stayed strong enough for the little one inside her. It took all her will power to banish the memories of him to a dark corner of her heart, where they could stay hidden until she was alone and could think on them in silence.

“He sounds like a wonderful man, child,” Marie said softly, whispering into the girl’s hair. “I’m sure he loved you just as much.”

Kaylee whimpered at her words, wondering if she would ever know with certainty how he had really felt. Sure, he had told her plenty of times that he loved her, but Kaylee had always suspected that he didn’t feel quite as strongly for her as she did for him. But that was okay; Kaylee loved more fiercely than most and she was content to know that she had had his heart, even for a little while.

“I’m so tired, Marie,” Kaylee said, her voice muffled as she leaned against her friend’s shoulder. “I’m just so tired.”

“Well, sweetie, you get some sleep and in the morning, I think maybe we should have a talk with Walt.” Marie pulled away from the girl and helped her to lay back down, movement becoming increasingly difficult due to her stomach.

“I can still do my work,” Kaylee said hurriedly, afraid the Everetts would think she was trying to milk them due to her condition. “I just need rest is all.”

Smiling down at her, Marie wiped her cheek with her hand as she said, “I know that dear, and so does Walt. It’s just … Well, I was thinking,” the woman began again sitting next to her. “This really ain’t the place to have a baby and my sister, Millie, see she runs this foster home out in the country for babies that need love. And I know she’d love to have someone as caring as you to help her out.” Patting Kaylee’s hand, Marie told her, “It’s such a great place, tons o’ land and folks lookin’ out for each other. I’ve been tryin’ to get Walt to move out there for years, but he says there’d be no work.” Marie looked back down to Kaylee and smirked, “I think he’s a damn fool, but what can I do?”

Kaylee smiled at Marie and thought about what she’d said. It was getting harder and harder for her to work at the pace she needed to be in the shop. Everyone had been great, helping her more the bigger she got, but she knew it would soon become a burden on them. Plus, if she went to stay with Millie, her chances of just bumping into the crew would be greatly reduced. She lived with a dull anxiety that one day she would turn around be confronted by the captain or Inara or River and she couldn’t handle that. She still could not bring herself to see them, to speak with them, and she did not want them to know about her and Simon’s baby. Kaylee feared they would pressure her to come back on board, and she just didn’t think she could – not now, not without Simon.

And truth was, she needed some practice caring for a little one. It had been years since Kaylee’d been around a baby and as each day of her pregnancy passed she got more and more antsy about becoming a ma. She wasn’t entirely convinced she would be all that good at it, and it was too important a job to not do well. Maybe a slower pace, away from the stresses of port life would be good for her.

Marie noticed her beginning to drift off, and patted her hand once more before heading for the door. “We’ll talk about it in the morning, sweetie. You just get some sleep.”

Kaylee nodded, and murmured as the woman opened the door, “Thanks, 'Rie.”

Smiling slightly at the girl’s now sleeping form, Marie bit back tears at the thought of her pain, of all she had lived through at such a young age. “Good night sweetheart,” she whispered and then left the slumbering girl with her dreams, hoping, that for tonight at least, the nightmares would not return.

***

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