Disclaimer time! Once again not my characters, but damned if I didn’t take em for a ride. As always these characters are the property of Joss and Mutant Enemy I just borrowed em’.

Thank you time! Washie hun, thanks again. She wouldn’t have flown without ya’. Thank you to Pride and Glory for the title. Thanks to my boss Kathy for giving me a day off to study. Ok I think that’s about everyone. Oh no wait, thanks to those others who gave me feed back, as always FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!

Troubled Wine:

All the meditation, tea and soothing Middle Eastern inspired music in the world could not help Inara clear her head. It had been two days since Kaylee had left in a hurry deal with Serenity’s everyday workings. They were en route to Persephone and the journey had been long, longer still as she had spent most of the last two days questioning herself, her motives and vainly trying to put together what the hell it was that was going on. She was sure Kaylee was very, very attracted to her as a lover, as more than just a friend or a companion, in both senses of the word. But why was this so hard for Inara to deal with…

She looked at the photo she held in her hands. It was one that had been taken about three months ago when the crew had dispatched a group of outlaws plaguing a small settler community. There they both were, smiling and sitting under a peach tree. Inara’s brightly colored clothing and elaborate makeup a stark contrast to Kaylee’s olive drab coveralls, and unadorned but beautiful features. She had her arm around Kaylee and Kaylee was smiling, brighter than a sun with all the complex hues that only love and friendship could bring.

Inara knew she was attracted to her, must have been, otherwise she wouldn’t have slipped like that two days ago. Yet for all the love in the 'verse she couldn't find the answers to the questions that haunted her.

She pondered listening to the music she had sought out on the Cortex. It was a very, very old album composed on Earth That Was by a man named Karl Sanders.

It was soothing and contemplative, but still did nothing to ease the chaos she was creating for herself. She felt like she was actively torturing herself, she knew she had the answers, and she knew that she didn’t like some of them. Much of those were the ones pertaining to her inaction in gaining comprehension of her current situation and her feeling. She had been trained to understand feeling and emotion. Even to manipulate it, ‘wiles’ as Malcolm called it, but this was virgin ground for Inara, and she knew all the traning in the 'verse could not help her here.

All this worrying had given her a headache and she felt greatly in need of a massage or some other form of relaxation. She found herself physically yearning for someone tender to be with her, even if they were just holding her, rocking her… she wanted Kaylee and for this she was both happy and sad, and felt like the 'verse’s greatest fool for putting herself through this.

She resolved that she would wash and then attempt to meditate once again before heading to bed early. This was the only thing that she could think of to possibly help calm her in her current state. For later, Inara decided that it would perhaps be better if she talked to Kaylee. At the very least to tell Kaylee that she felt the same way, but that it would be complicated and ill-advised, and that perhaps it was time for Inara to return to her former life. She shook her head, she was truly, deeply confused. She gathered together her basin and the oils and such that she enjoyed, those that tended to have the most relaxing effect on her. She made herself ready and slipped half out of her sari. She started to sponge the warm water over her neck and shoulders, found herself remembering Kaylee’s touch.

Her eyes closed, lost in the sensual memory.

She continued, moving lower, over her chest and breasts. She became lost in feeling and relaxed for the first time in two days. Perhaps things would work out, 'often they do,' she mused, feeling time slip by more and more.

The door to her shuttle hissed open, she rarely locked it so she wasn’t surprised. She figured it was Malcolm, come to inform her about their arrival on the morrow, or perhaps he just stopped by to be rude and obnoxious as always. She hadn’t seen much of him the last two days. In fact, she hadn’t seen much of anybody except Book, who had visited wondering how she was and if something was wrong.

It had taken the Shepherd little time at all to come to an understanding about what was troubling Inara. It wasn’t a matter of her being physically unwell, he could tell the issue leaned more toward the heart or the spirit. The conversation on her end was labored, distracted. In fact, all that Inara held to were his parting words.

"I’ve always felt that if two people were truly in love, so deeply committed that little needed to be said, that the hard bits were over…and the rest left up to the almighty."

She looked up at him, her usually flawless composure a wreck, but still angelic in her beauty.

"But then again, I am just an old preacher." He smiled, the expression conveying more sensuality than someone of his title should probably demonstrate. He slipped out then, leaving Inara on her own, and truly alone.

Her eyes lingered on the door after the preacher, then slipped slowly back to the draw where she had hidden the photo.

Inara pondered the shepherd, as she went. For all of his deep- rooted moral beliefs as to what was right and wrong, he was a very interesting tapestry of deep love and respect for those he held dear, no matter what they dedicated their lives to. She liked him, he was a stimulating person to talk to, and his shadowy past made for an interesting mystery.

"n…’nara?" Kaylee’s voice slipped into the room from behind her, her head snapping around like Jayne fending cattle with a whip.

"Kaylee….I, ah." She groped for words, looked around at the younger woman standing just past the hangings she used for cover the door. She suddenly felt very tense.

"N…no its ok, I can come back if it’s a bad time. I just wanted to talk is all…"

"I…yes, that would be good. Rather I was going to talk to you tomorrow…but…I'll go um…put this away." She motioned to the basin.

"I hadn't seen ya’ in two days and I was…never mind…no if ya wanna keep washin’ that’s fine. I’ll sit over here, or whatever…"

"N…no I think it would be best if…I um." Inara didn’t know what to do, her head swam in thick crude oil, like trying to run through a marsh as fast as one could but getting nowhere.

"Ya seem awful tense ‘Nara, I know this ain't smooth circumstances but ya don’t have ta’ get all stiff like that." Kaylee’s voice carried nothing but warmth, as if no matter what happened here tonight there would still be some good that came out of it.

"Here, maybe this'll help." As quickly as Kaylee said this, she impulsively grabbed the sponge and slipped it into the warm water, running her other hand over Inara’s toned back. Inara froze even more still than she was before. She couldn’t believe what Kaylee had just done.

As their shared realizations filled the small chamber, Kaylee herself paused with a sharp intake of breath.

Silence descended with all the grace of a ship falling out of the sky.

"I…I'm sorry ‘nara. l …yeah l’ll go." Kaylee dropped the sponge and made motions as if to move away from the Companion's warm body.

"N…no, stay." Inara whispered. Kaylee stopped. She tentatively moved toward the Companion, sinking to her knees behind her and preparing to resume what she had just stopped. Inara felt there was something totally surreal about what was happening, like a lucid dream, but one that encompassed more emotion than just images and sounds.

Inara relaxed into Kaylee’s soft, nervous touches. The younger woman, seeing that Inara had relaxed, did so herself, if much slower. All thought about what was supposed to happen next was pointless. There was no telling at this point. The silence grew terribly long between the two.

"I…I’m sorry I avoided you the last two days bao bai. It was cowardly." Inara finally spoke, if quietly.

"It's understandable ‘nara. Ah spent most of my time fixin’ stuff that wasn’t broke…"

"I guess confusion was a shared theme…"

"Oh…"

There was another pause.

"If it's easier we could just forget about it an-"

"No…I…I can't, Kaylee." Inara turned, not bothering to cover her bare chest. The older woman's hand cupped Kaylee’s chin. She looked at the mechanic's clean face, somewhat of a rarity.

"I need to know…" Inara paused her very subdued speech.

" 'Nara…I…I'm in love with ya…plain as day. Thought you of all people woulda figured that out…" Kaylee whispered. Inara's thumb gently caressed the side of Kaylee’s face. She gazed into her sparkling brown eyes, seeing how honest she was being, not that Kaylee was ever anything but honest.

"It won't be easy…that much I do know." Inara said this more as a statement of quiet fact than an attempt to dissuade the other woman.

"ah…ah know…but, I think well…I know it ain't impossible for a Companion to date…is it?"

"I don’t care about that bao bai. That’s not important, its more us, and the crew." Inara was intoxicated. She was gazing at Kaylee in the candlelight and music. It all blended together to form a wonderful harmony, one that did little but cast a radiant glow around Kaylee who already shone like a warm fire.

Kaylee’s face firmed her resolve, becoming as hard as any ceramic part in Serenity.

"Well…ah’l kick anyone's ass that gets in our way…’Nara…ah…ah was so scared, I mean the last two days…and I thought ya’ woulda figured, an all b…but I mean-"

"Shuuuu." Inara put her finger on Kaylee’s lips, pulling up her sari with her other hand's long graceful fingers. "I’ve wanted you to hold me all day. I…worried that you’d never…" Inara looked away, she felt as if she would cry, she choked back burning tears, and for the first time in a long time felt stupid.

Kaylee smiled and shuffled over to put her arm around Inara. Inara pressed her head into

Kaylee’s shoulder, feeling the younger woman stroke her head, cooing over her.

"It's ok now sweetie…the details can wait…," Kaylee offered, sensing how torn Inara was.

The Companion inhaled sharply, smelling Kaylee’s perfume. Strawberries, she should have known. She held on to Kaylee, enjoying the simple intimacy of it, more so the soft reassuring kiss Kaylee planted on Inara’s cheek. Inara sighed.

"We should rest. I guess the battle starts tomorrow bao bai." Inara said dreamily.

"Uh..oh…yeah. sorry I interrupted." Kaylee helped Inara up, and Inara placed the few items she had hoped would relax her back in their places. Inara turned to Kaylee who was smiling awkwardly, hands deep in her pockets.

"Well uh…guess I'll be headin’ for bed too…come see me in the morrow ‘nara…please." Inara smiled the flawless Inara smile Kaylee new so well.

"Bao bai…" she walked to her bed and pulled back the covers. "I had hoped that you would keep me company."