Story: Why Not Me Chapter: 5 Summary: This one takes place a handful of hours after pt 4. The crew's on it's way to Persephone, got a job from Badger. Includes a personal conversation between Inara and Simon. Warnings: female/female pairing. Also, a bit of an alternate character type of River, not as confused, it's somewhat strange, you'll read and see what I mean. Authors Note: This story is post Miranda/Serenity and whatnot. So expect no Wash-goodness. :'( My first Firefly fiction. I'm having trouble personifying River and Kaylee both. With River, it's this graceful confusion I'm having trouble capturing, and with Kaylee, it's the language, the accent, the jargon. Help Help Help, feedback deeply needed. Hasn't been Beta'd. Don't know someone who could. Anyone volunteering? Disclaimer. Joss is Boss. Don't own characters, But I'd sure love to own all the women of the ship. Well, not own so much as...i don't know.

Zoe cocked up an eyebrow and eyed her Captain. "Badger, sir? That don't seem like too good of an idea."

Mal leaned forward, gripping the edge of the table. "It does when ya consider we're mighty coinless, Zoe."

Zoe nodded. "Right sir."

River tipped her chair back before speaking in a familiar accent. "He's no threat. Not to us."

The questioning look on the crews face dissapated when they remembered the incident in which they'd been taken hostage on their own ship by Badger, only for River to come out, pretending to be from Badger's home.

Jayne nodded. "Imma hide ma gun this time. An' I'm takin' Vera. And grenades. Gotta take grenades. Won't catch me defensless again."

Mal shook his head at Jayne. "Ain't no need, Badger knows what we survived, no way he'll be dumb enough to try an' cross us."

Zoe's eyebrow arched up again. "No way he'll be dumb enough, sir?"

Mal shrugged. "Well he may be dumb enough, but it's not happenin' again. Jayne, bring Vera, and you can 'ave yur grenades, but but only one knife. don't want 'im thinkin we can't be trusted."

Zoe broke in. "A large man with a large rifle and a handful of grenades doesn't send that message, sir?"

Mal grinned and shrugged.

"Albatross, you'll come along. And Kaylee, he said sumthin 'bout theifin' ship parts. You'll be along to pick out anything extra we can use for Serenity. Zoe. Doc, stay on ship. Inara, you as well."

The whole of the crew of serenity nodded at their Captain with the exception of Simon, who'd been in a walking stupor for hours.

"Doc, ya hear me?"

Simon awoke and looked to Mal.

"Doc?"

Simon sat up straight. Yes, yeah, I heard you.

Mal crossed his arms around his chest. "Ok then." He turned and walked out of the Galley. Everyone stood and headed in their different directions to prepare for landing at Persephone. Inara hit the door then turned back, noticing Simon with a confused look on his face. "He basically said that He, Zoe, Jayne, Kaylee, and River would go to meet Badger. You and I will stay here.

Simon nodded. "Oh. Ok. Good."

Inara sat down beside Simon, intent on finding out what was wrong with him. He wasn't his usual self, and it was worrying. "Simon?

His reactions were slow, he turned his head many seconds later to barely focus on her. "Yes?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not unless you can keep my sister and my ex-girl-..." he stopped. "ex...ex-girlfried." Said more to himself than to Inara.

"Stop your sister and your ex-girlfriend? From doing what? From going to meet Badger? There's nothing to worry about. River can take care of herself. And everyone else."

Simon nodded slowly. "Especially Kaylee."

Inara raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I caught them today. Kissing. Touching."

Inara's mouth gaped. "What?"

"River. And Kaylee. Kaylee and River. Kissing. Passionately of all things. I didn't think River knew passion. Or how to kiss for that matter. Apparently she does. Though you'd have to ask Kaylee."

"You're kidding."

Simon looked at her sideways. "Would I?"

Inara shook her head no. "I guess not. I didn't expect that though. I should've seen that. I can usually tell. Before something like that will happen. It's always in the eyes. Is that why you've been acting this way."

"Of course it is. I don't even know what's happening around here anymore. It's like...the verse has turned upside-down."

Inara placed her hand on his. "Life can definately seem that way sometimes. It's hard to recover from something that you view as a betrayal. The pain is almost physical. Like a knife in the chest. It hurts. A lot."

Simon looked her in the eye, he could see pain. He'd rarely seen anything in Inara's eyes. Though, he hadn't very often looked. "You sound as if you know how it feels."

Inara considered closing herself off again, and decided against it. Simon would understand where she was coming from. "Malcolm Reynolds isn't an easy man to love."

"Kaylee's wonderful to love. She beautiful, and creative, and happy, and she loves like no one I've ever known. With her whole heart."

"So if you feel that way, then what put you apart?"

"We're so different. She loves machines because she feels they're almost alive. I love the human body because I feel it's a well oiled machine. She's passionate in everything she does, and me. I don't know. We're just...different. In so many ways."

Inara nodded. "I understand. But consider Mal and I. I've never loved anyone more. We're entirely different people, of different worlds, of different lives. But it's the soul that brings people together. Ours have very much in common. As I suppose you and Kaylee's do. You have to peer beyond the surface of life to find what's important.

Simon nodded. "Yes, I guess you're right. I didn't give us the chance to figure that out. She felt that I thought we were different. She just ended it before I could. I just don't see how she has anything in common with River. And they should've said something to me. River didn't have to let me walk in like that. She knew I was coming. What was she trying to do? Kaylee definately should've said something. She had to know how I'd react."

Simon stood, becoming angry. "They have no regard for how I feel- about anything. Well, I have no regard for them. Let them go on this mission. Let them do what they may. Watch the whole crew come to me when something happens. Something always happens."

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An hour later, Mal, Zoe, Jayne, River, and Kaylee stepped off Serenity and onto the dry land of Persephone.