A/N: Again, because everyone was so nice and keeps leaving all those great comments, here's the next installment of my little epic.

A quick note - please remember that is this story is 29 chapters, everything will be explained in time - be patient!

Thanks again goes to Leiasky - the best beta and email buddy out there!

***

A NEW LIFE, ch. 6: The Devil You Know

***

It was unbelievably early for his comm to be sounding. Grumbling, Keller rolled out of bed, having the presence of mind to at least throw on a pair of sweat pants as he trudged over to his screen. Flipping it on, he groaned even more loudly when he saw the face staring back at him.

“Good morning,” Gabriel Tam said, his face indicating there was nothing good about it. “Am I disturbing you?” His eyes surreptitiously glanced over the young man’s shoulder, where the bare arm of Keller’s date could be seen poking out from the sheet.

Stepping into the man’s view, Keller crossed his arms over his chest, and asked, “What do you want?”

“Simon didn’t come home last night,” the other man said, giving Keller a stern and accusatory look.

Smiling slightly, Keller leered at his friend’s father as he said, “Well, good for Simon. It’s about damn time he and Alicia did the deed.”

Frowning at the man’s crudeness, that thought had already occurred to Gabriel, but he wanted proof. “So, they left the party last night together?”

“Yeah,” Keller told him, stifling a yawn. “They left kind of early too, I guess your boy couldn’t wait.”

Watching the older man’s lip curl in disgust was totally worth being awoken at such an early hour. “Is there anything else,” he questioned, giving him a bored look.

Gabriel seemed ready to say something and than thought better of it. “No, please don’t let me keep you from your beauty sleep.”

“Your generosity knows no bounds, Gabe,” Keller told him and with a wide grin flipped off the comm. Heading back to bed, he fell into unceremoniously, rolling over and dropping an arm across his girl’s waist. Smiling wickedly before sleep claimed him, Keller could not wait until he saw Simon again so he could get all the nasty details.

Of course, this was Simon he was talking about. Oh well, at least there would be details.

***

Simon came to, not at all sure what had happened. His head was pounding from a headache that would not quit and he had no idea where he was. Blinking to clear the sleep from his eyes, Alicia’s sleeping form was the first thing to come into focus.

In a rush the events of the previous night came back and Simon was again assaulted with the vision of the young girl, River – his sister. Still unable to fully comprehend what it meant, he was trying to piece it all together and will his headache away when Alicia finally awoke.

“Hey you,” she said, stretching her muscles slightly as she regarded him from across the room.

“Hey,” he told her, trying to smile, but finding it difficult. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Oh, you didn’t,” she told him, smiling sleepily. Resting her head back against the arm of the chair, she regarded him for a moment more and then finally asked, “How are you feeling?”

Simon thought about lying and then realized there wasn’t much point to it. “Like someone took a sledge hammer to my head.”

Alicia smiled sympathetically and then shifted her position, getting ready to rise. “Do you want something? I think I’ve got some meds in the –“

“I’ll get it,” Simon told her, reaching out a hand to stop her from getting up. “In the bathroom, right?”

She nodded once and watched him go, wishing there was more she could do than just offer him pain medication. She could tell that even after a few hours of sleep he was no closer to understanding anything then he had been the night before.

Simon wandered into Alicia’s bathroom and found the medication. Swallowing it back with a swig of water, Simon brought his gaze up to the mirror and his haggard appearance. Now that he had seen his sister, now that he knew he had a sister, he felt a little better, not quite as out of place as he’d felt just a few days before, but still … there was something off and he was desperate to know what it was.

“Simon, sweetie, do you want breakfast?”

It was Alicia’s voice, Simon knew that, but the use of the endearment, “sweetie,” set him on edge. Someone else had called him that once, someone whom he had cared for deeply. Someone else he should remember, but instead had forgotten. Closing his eyes, he rolled the word around on his tongue, trying to get some kind of flash, some memory to catch, but nothing came.

“Simon?” Alicia called again and headed back towards the bathroom. When she saw him standing over the sink, his eyes closed in concentration, her heart immediately jumped into her throat. “What’s wrong?”

He needed to know what he'd forgotten, why that endearment had caused such an emotional reaction in his mind, and his heart. With a forwardness he would never have exerted in another situation, he hurried toward her and pulled her into his arms.

If she was shocked by this swift movement, she gave no indication as he dipped his head and kissed her.

As he deepened the kiss, Simon had a momentary flash and in that moment, he knew it wasn’t Alicia he was kissing, it was someone else, the same someone who had called him sweetie. The same someone he could not remember, but wanted to. Alicia’s touch had awakened that memory and while Simon had nothing else to go on the recognition that there was something else, someone else to find, caused him to panic and hope all at once.

He inhaled deeply when they parted, afraid that he'd not only overstepped the bounds of propriety, but deeply upset that he couldn't bring back this overwhelmingly powerful memory that seemed just out of his reach.

"Simon?" Alicia asked, her body still tingling from his kiss.

“I'm sorry, Alicia, but I’ve got to go. I have rounds this afternoon and I cannot show up wearing this.” He brushed past her and headed for the door, grabbing his jacket.

And without a second thought, Simon hurried from the apartment, trying to shake the feeling of loss and regret that seemed to cling to his heart.

***

River was again crying in her bunk. She hated the mood swings that still plagued her. Despite the knowledge that her brother was alive, or maybe because of it, she was now consumed with his confusion and fear most hours of the day. There were long moments of time where she would feel nothing from him at all and she knew it was at these times that he was going about his life without her.

At first the loss of his contact had saddened her greatly. She had just gotten him back, for him to be absent again seemed hugely unfair, but then she realized that now that he knew about her and she knew he was alive, he always came back. And that was enough.

They were only a day out from Beaumonde and River was glad. She wanted to see Kaylee, she had to tell her that Simon was okay, that they could get him back. But she knew that Kaylee still did not want to see them. She had toyed with the idea of sending the girl a wave a half dozen times in the past week, but she had always stopped herself, knowing the captain would not approve. Besides, River had a sinking suspicion that Kaylee would not accept the message anyway and River couldn’t handle that type of rejection right now.

So instead, she had retreated to her bunk, again overwhelmed by Simon’s fear and anger at being kept in the dark. It hurt her, physically and emotionally, to feel him in so much pain. His confusion was bad enough, but coupled with his deep desire to understand, the emotions burned in her with an intensity she found difficult to counter.

She heard a light rap on her screen and thought about ignoring her visitor. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this – she knew they were all still waiting for her to go crazy again. She didn’t answer, but in a few moments another knock sounded this time followed by a low voice. “River, it’s Jayne. You ok?”

River turned her face away from the door so he wouldn’t see her tears as she said, “I’m fine, Jayne. Go away.”

Not surprised at his inability to follow direction, River heard him push back the screen and enter her room. Standing by the entrance, he said softly, “You ain’t fine. Why you gotta be lyin’ to me?”

She turned to look at him and was not surprised to read real concern on his face. River wasn’t exactly sure what was happening between her and Jayne and that annoyed her. She usually knew what was happening in any given situation before anyone else, but over the past few months as Jayne had shown her more kindness and compassion than ever before, River had found her own feelings becoming muddled when thinking of the mercenary. He was handsome, she knew that and she knew that under his gruff exterior he was also kind-hearted. And she was a woman; the Alliance had done many things to her in that place, but they had not stifled her innate needs or desires or her longing to be truly loved. But whether Jayne was the man she could or should trust her heart to, she had no idea. And honestly, she didn’t have the clarity of mind to figure it out; not now.

“You hate seeing girls cry,” she told him, in way of an answer, and again turned her face away. “I’m crying, so go away.”

Sighing heavily, Jayne wondered what the hell he was doing here. It was no secret he’d been doting on the girl something fierce since her brother’d been gone, and now with River’s insistence that Simon was in fact alive, Jayne found himself more worried about her than before. It wasn’t healthy for the girl to be harboring these fantasies, to be deluding herself. But try as he might, Jayne could no longer utter a harsh word in her direction. She’d been through too much, seen too much, it just didn’t seem right for him to be adding to any of that pain. Truth was, he’d do anything he could to make those tears go away. If only he could make her understand that her brother wasn’t coming back.

“Don’t even think that,” she told him, turning back to look at him with a fierce fire burning in her eyes. Rising, she crossed the room to him and poked a sharp finger into his chest. “Don’t you dare, Jayne Cobb. My brother is alive and he is coming back. I’m not wrong, not about this.”

Her face flushed with her emotion, and River bobbed unsteadily on her feet for a moment as Simon felt another memory break loose and rise to the surface of his consciousness. His confusion and anger stronger than before, River would have fallen to the floor if Jayne had not reached out and wrapped a strong arm around her waist. “Easy there, girl,” he whispered, guiding her over to her bunk and sitting her down gently.

When she again focused her brown eyes on him, Jayne had to take a deep breath to keep himself from kissing her. What a foolish thing that would be to do. Stepping back abruptly, he said hurriedly, “Look, darlin’, why don’t you just get some sleep and –“

He broke off as fresh tears fell down her face. “He’s hurting, Jayne,” she told him, her voice broken with emotion. “I have to go to him.”

“I know, baby girl,” Jayne said, moving forward again and sitting next to her. It didn’t matter what he believed. River knew her brother was alive and that would have to be good enough for him. “You will. We will,” he reassured, taking her hand and squeezing it gently.

She gave him a watery smile and than laid back, tired beyond reason at trying to balance both her own emotions and Simon’s. “You get some rest now,” Jayne whispered, reaching up to place a light kiss on her forehead.

He was backing away from her, their hands still entwined, when she tugged on him gently and whispered, “Stay with me, please.”

Jayne thought of a million reasons why he shouldn’t and only one reason why he should – because she had asked. Resuming his seat beside her, Jayne pulled a blanket over her small form and stroked her hair away from her face. “You sleep, darlin’. I’ll be right here,” he whispered.

He watched as her eyes drifted closed and her breathing became regular. He watched her the whole night, never wavering from his vigil, certain that she was the strongest person he’d ever met and even more certain that he was starting to fall in love with her. Jayne knew it would only bring about a world of trouble, but he couldn’t stop himself or his feelings. Whether or not River felt the same remained to be seen, but for now, Jayne was perfectly content to watch over her, keeping her safe.

***

By the time Simon made it home he knew he would be extremely late. Rushing into the house, he paused for a second in the foyer, envisioning River, his sister, dancing there and laughing. He knew, somehow, that she always did that, always giggled at him when he caught her twirling about. Shaking the memory away, he rushed up the staircase, to his room, taking the stairs two at a time.

Pushing open the door, he was more than surprised to see his father there. Breaking stride for only a second, he entered the room and shut the door. Eyeing the man for a moment, Simon headed towards his closet to pull out a change of clothes and said, “Good morning, father.”

“Simon.” His father’s voice betrayed no emotion and Simon was at a loss to determine why he would be here. This was not the first time Simon had been out all night; surely he wasn’t waiting because he was concerned.

Besides, Simon did not want to see him. After the revelations of the previous night, he had no interest in speaking with either his father or mother, having a sinking suspicion he could not confirm that they knew something of what was happening to him. With startling clarity, Simon had realized and remembered his sister last night at that meant both his parents knew her as well, which also meant they had had a hand in making him forget.

“Are you all right, son,” Gabriel asked, watching as Simon pulled out a set of scrubs and one of his jackets.

Heading for his bathroom, Simon shut the door slightly to change and answered, “Yes, father, I’m fine. A little tired maybe, but fine.”

Gabriel waited until Simon had re-entered the room and then said, “Your mother and I were worried about you.”

Rolling his eyes, Simon dropped his cuff links and pocket watch on his dresser and ran a brush through his hair. “I’m 27, dad, I think I can stay out all night.”

“Were you alone?”

Simon did not like where this conversation was heading, not one bit. He had no intention of telling his father anything about what had transpired the previous night. He could no longer trust the man, not until he could figure out exactly what was happening.

Turning to face his father again, Simon grabbed his bag and headed back out his door. “That’s none of your business,” he told the older man. “And I’m already late. See you tomorrow night.”

With that Simon exited the room, relieved when his father did not follow. Hurrying down the hall, he again tried to dismiss the memory of his sister’s laughter as he headed towards the hospital – the only place he felt certain to find any peace.

Gabriel waited a full five minutes after Simon had gone before crossing the hall to his study and sending the wave. When he was instructed to give Keller a message, he did begrudgingly. How the Alliance could think entrusting his son’s life to a fool like Keller Li was a wise move, Gabriel had no idea. But, sighing heavily, he realized with chagrin that all of this had been taken out of his hands the minute he had placed his son’s future in theirs.

***

Alicia sought Simon out the next day, still concerned about the abruptness with which he had left that morning and still reeling from the kiss he had given her. She had been wanting something like that to happen for a while and now that it had she felt like a swoony teenager, unable to think of much else but that kiss.

Finding him on the fifth floor doing rounds, she watched for a moment as he comforted a post-op patient’s wife, doing his best to provide reassurances when there were none. Simon had always had a great bedside manner, his compassion for others always reading so well to patients, co-workers and friends.

Shaking herself from her reverie, Alicia watched as he approached her, his head buried in a chart and paying no attention. Smiling brightly, she stepped into his path. “Doctor Tam, I wonder if you might have a moment for a consult.”

“Yes, of course,” he answered absentmindedly, before finally raising his gaze. At the sight of her, his face broke into a wide grin that easily melted her heart – he was so handsome.

“A consult, huh?” He grinned even more broadly, and wrapped an arm around her waist to lead her from the room and into the hall. “What are you doing up here,” he questioned, still happy to see her.

“Looking for you,” she told him, wondering if it would be possible for her to smile any wider. Reaching out a hand to his face, she caressed his cheek gently as she asked, “Are you all right?”

Simon knew exactly to what she was referring and he blushed, remembering his insanity from the night before. “Yes, I’m fine,” he assured her, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m sorry for last night, I realize I was acting completely crazy. And,” he paused, uncertain of how exactly to apologize for his brash behavior. “Well, I shouldn’t have kissed you like that, and then just run off. That was decidedly rude.”

Alicia smiled vaguely and then pressed on, certain that he needed to deal with what he had discovered and not all bothered by the kiss he was so ready to regret. “Yes, but Simon,” she leaned in and dropped her voice even lower, “You should talk about it. I mean you remembered –“

“What, a sister,” he asked incredulous, his eyes rolling at the ridiculousness of the statement. “Come on, Ally, think about it. How could I have a long lost sister? I mean, it’s crazy.”

She watched his eyes, reading his expression and realized that he truly believed last night had been a glitch, a hiccup in his recovery. “You’re certain,” she asked, still not totally convinced herself that the memory didn’t have some meaning.

“Yes,” he told her firmly, reaching out to place a light kiss against her cheek. “Let me make it up to you,” he said, taking both her hands in his. “Let me take you out on a date, a real date.”

Alicia smiled wide again and again could not believe how giddy she felt. “Simon, you really don’t have to do that.”

“Please,” he pleaded, waving away her modesty. “You indulged my insanity, the least I can do is take you out for a nice dinner.”

Smiling at him again, she finally relented. “All right, that would nice.” Simon returned her grin, as she asked, “What time are you off?”

Grimacing as he looked to his watch, he said sheepishly, “About twenty hours.”

Alicia laughed and Simon joined her. Leaning down, he kissed her again, unable to shake the feeling that if he did, he might remember more of that girl he’d had a flash of. As she returned the kiss and then some, Simon realized, with a bit of sadness, he’d been hoping to uncover a memory that probably didn’t exist. Which meant he was using Alicia, and she did not deserve that.

Once they parted, Alicia knew her cheeks had flushed the deepest shade of red imaginable. “I’ll come by and pick you up,” Simon told her, trying to stymie the guilt he felt rising in his chest. “Will you be home?”

“In twenty hours,” she teased, rolling her eyes. “I certainly hope so.”

Stepping back he squeezed her hand as he went back to his rounds. “See you then.”

“See you.” She watched him walk away and let a contented sigh escape her lips. Twenty hours seemed like an eternity at the moment.

***

Mal was more than nervous as his ship broke atmo over Beaumonde. As they had approached the planet, he had felt his stomach doing flips and flops he had not thought it capable of, and now, here he was, just a few hundred yards from Kaylee and he was scared out of his mind.

He felt a gentle hand on his arm, and turned at the touch to see Inara’s concerned face gazing up at him. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close, Mal asked, “You ready, darlin’?”

Nodding, she replied, “Are you?”

Mal sighed heavily wondering if he truly was ready for whatever happened once they reached the Everetts. Kaylee had made it perfectly clear she did not want to see them and the girl had made no effort to reach out to them, any of them, since she’d been planet side, a little over four months now. There was a very good chance when they arrived at the couple’s shop, Kaylee would run away from them and as much as Mal feared that outcome, he couldn’t continue to skirt the issue, never knowing for sure if his mei mei had managed to forgive him yet.

“I certainly hope so, ‘Nara,” he told her, placing a light kiss into her hair. “I certainly hope so.”

With ease River set the ship down a few hundred yards from the Everetts’ shop, away from the port proper. It would be much easier to transfer the goods if they were in closer proximity to Walt and Marie’s place and luckily their large landing pad was clear at the moment. Standing, River led Mal and Inara off the bridge and all three joined Zoe and Jayne in the cargo bay.

River came to stand next to Jayne as Zoe hit the ramp release and smiled up at him. He returned the expression and River delighted at seeing his eyes twinkle with fondness. Yes indeed, something was definitely taking shape between them.

All five of them piled onto the mule even though the vehicle should really only go with four – hell, River barely weighed a thing – and Zoe drove them down the ramp and out into the heat of Beaumonde’s summer, speeding along the flat, dusty road to the Everetts.

It was a short trip, but it felt like forever to Mal. He tried to still his heart, knowing that it was about to pound right out of his chest, and he took Inara’s hand, intertwining their fingers in an effort for his hand from shaking. She squeezed back and planted a light kiss against his cheek, no easy feat at this speed, and rested her head against his shoulder. Feeling slightly better, Mal watched as the Walt and Marie’s place came into focus.

He wasn’t surprised that both of them were awaiting their arrival, but his heart did sink when he didn’t see Kaylee’s small form standing with them. Burying his disappointment, Mal hopped down off the mule as Zoe brought it to a stop, turning to offer Inara a hand. She gladly accepted it and kept a tight hold on his hand as they headed to greet their hosts.

“Well, Malcolm Reynolds! Long time no see, son,” Walt exclaimed happily, moving forward to clap a large hand on the younger man’s back. Mal dropped Inara’s hand long enough to return the embrace and then stepped back so the couple could greet the rest of the crew.

He saw that Zoe and Marie were already exchanging a hug and caught the end of their greeting. “He was a good man, Zoe,” Marie was saying, squeezing the younger woman’s hands in her own. “You take comfort in that.”

“I do, Rie,” Zoe told her, blinking back a few stray tears. “I do. Everyday.”

“And Jayne, how’ve you been,” Marie asked, sizing up the large man with wary eyes. Out of all of Mal’s crew, Jayne was the one she had the most reservations about. The man was crude and not a little bit rough, but Marie knew that if he sailed with Mal he must have some redeeming qualities.

“I’m fine, Ms. Everett,” Jayne said, knowing that he and the older woman were not the best of friends. “How’re you?”

“Right fine, son,” she answered clapping him on the shoulder. Taking in the sight of River, standing slightly behind him, Marie moved toward the young girl and softened her voice as she asked, “And who are you, little one?” She briefly remembered her discussion with Kaylee and wondered if this might have been the sister her beloved had boarded the ship with.

Clearing his throat, Mal intervened stepping forward. “This is River, Rie, she’s been piloting for us since Wash …” Mal let the sentence remain unfinished, everyone present knowing how it would end.

“Well, ain’t you a pretty little thing,” Marie said, reaching out a hand to the girl. River gazed at it for a moment, uncertain of what to do. She could tell these were good people, warm and caring, but she was still shy around new folks. Glancing to Jayne, she saw that his eyes were fixed on her face and he nodded once at her, giving her a slight smile.

Taking the woman’s outstretched hand, River shook it and murmured, “Thank you, ma’am. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too, honey,” Marie answered, finally turning to look at Mal and the young woman on his arm. “Malcolm Reynolds, I swear you get better looking every time I see ya.”

“Aww, Rie,” Mal muttered, pulling the woman into a tight embrace. Mal had met Marie and Walt not too long after his own ma had passed, and truth be told, they felt more like family to him than just about anyone, save his crew. “You shouldn’t be flatterin’ me, it’ll just make my head swell.”

“And we can’t have any of that,” Inara interjected, giving him a playful look as she extended a hand toward Marie. “Mrs. Everett, it’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Inara Serra. Thank you so much for welcoming us into your home.”

Mal gazed at the woman at his side and had to marvel at her manners; always the companion. Marie took her outstretched hand and looked between Inara and Mal for a few more moments, before looking over her shoulder and cocking her head to her husband. “Walt, you gotta get over here. I think Mal’s finally brought home a girl.”

Blushing fiercely, Mal tried not to show his discomfort, although he did laugh at his friend’s assessment. “All right now, you two,” he told them both, nodding to Walt as the man joined his wife. “That’s enough o’ that. You gonna take a look at the goods, or what?”

Clapping his hands together enthusiastically, Walt said, “Well now that sounds like the best idea I’ve heard all day. Zoe, dear, will you do the honors?”

Cocking an eyebrow at Mal he nodded his consent and watched as Zoe motioned the man forward, followed by Jayne and River. That left Mal and Inara standing with Marie in what had suddenly become a very uncomfortable silence.

“So,” Mal started, not at all sure what to say as he knew the last thing he should do is inquire about Kaylee. “The place looks great,” he said instead, realizing as the words came how lame they sounded.

“Why, thank you, Malcolm.” Marie took the compliment and then turned back to regard Inara. “How exactly did a beautiful young girl like yourself get mixed up with an old scalawag like him?”

Inara smiled and blushed all at once, and answered the woman, placing a light hand on her arm and leaning in closely, “It’s a long story.”

Pulling the woman tightly to her side, Marie started walking them both towards the homestead as she said, “Well, lucky for you, I got all afternoon.” Turning back, she noticed Mal was not following and called to him, “Mal you gonna stand there all day? ‘Cause I gotta warn ya, come noon time it’s gonna be pretty ruttin’ hot ‘round here.”

Mal looked to the woman as she scolded him and unable to contain himself blurted out, “Where’s Kaylee?”

Marie’s expression lost all geniality as she left Inara’s side and approached him, a wary look in her eye. Raising a finger at him, she intoned with a warning, “Malcolm, don’t.”

Whining, Mal could not help but push the issue. “Come on, Rie. I just gotta know she’s all right.”

Inara joined the two of them, again standing beside Mal and taking his hand in hers. Her own eyes conveyed her concern and looking between the two of them Marie didn’t know which one looked more pathetic.

“Well, course she’s all right,” Marie said, trying to sound offended. “You left her with me, din’t ya?” Mal smiled slightly at the remark and his old friend continued. “Look Mal, I know you care for that girl, and judging by the sadness in your eyes, you care for her too,” she added, looking to Inara and watching as a tear slid down one of her smooth cheeks. “But that girl came here for a reason all them months ago, and that reason ain’t changed.”

“So, she still, she still doesn’t want to see us?” Mal hated the way his voice stuttered when trying to get the question out, and he had to swallow hard past the lump in his throat. He hadn’t thought it would affect him this much, he’d thought he’d be all right with Kaylee’s isolation, but he’d been wrong.

Sighing slightly, Marie stepped forward and placed one hand on each of their shoulders. “No, Mal, I’m sorry, but she don’t.” Inara stifled a sob as Marie continued, “She’s in a lot of pain. You both just gotta give her some more time.”

Mal nodded numbly and wrapped his arm tighter around Inara. She buried her face against him, ashamed at her tears and the weakness they conveyed. She had tried to come to terms with the fact that Kaylee would still not want to see them, but the reality of her friend’s dismissal still stung.

Marie watched the two young people in front of her struggle with their own grief. Ai ya, what the hell happened up there in the black? If it was possible Marie thought that the two of them actually looked worse than Kaylee. But Marie knew that the girl was safe now and awaiting the arrival of her baby out at her sister Millie’s place. And before she had gone, she’d left express instructions with the older woman to not tell the crew of her new location. She wanted to wait to see them again, until after her child was born and Marie would respect her wishes, even if she didn’t necessarily agree that the girl should be going through so much on her own.

“Now, come on, you two,” she said, pulling herself from her thoughts and turning back to towards her house. “I’ve got some refreshments for ya and I’m thinking you’ll both want to get some rest. I imagine you’re pretty tired.”

Neither Mal or Inara could say anything as they followed the woman, still too stunned with sadness to agree with her.

***

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