A/N: So sorry to all for the delay in posts ... first the site was down and then my internet connection decided to not work - ugh!

I promise it was not a deliberate act to test how much you really like my series! :o)

I will post through chapter 10 today so that hopefully it will sate your appetites until I can get back online early next week ... Enjoy!

Many, many thanks must continue to go to Leiasky for her unbelievable insight (and encouragement, I am now up to page 300 in a sequel to this little epic, so I really hope ya'll keep reading!)

And, just because you're grateful I'm posting again, doesn't mean you shouldn't leave comments - IT MEANS YOU SHOULD LEAVE MORE!

~Tamsibling~

***

A NEW LIFE, ch. 8: Homesick

***

Kaylee wished her little one would let her sleep. Sighing, she felt another kick against her side and realized that if her baby was awake, she was going to be awake too. Getting out of bed, not an easy task, being seven months pregnant and all, Kaylee walked to her room’s window and gazed out at the night sky.

This far out in the country, it was easier to see stars, but there were only a few. Kaylee saw them, twinkling above and wondered what planet her ship and her crew were circling now. Another kick elicited an “ow!” from her and Kaylee rubbed her belly absentmindedly. “You can’t miss ‘em too, lil’ one,” she whispered. “You never even met ‘em.”

Biting back tears, Kaylee realized she did miss Serenity and its crew. She had been trying to deny her feelings of homesickness over the past few weeks as she’d been out with Millie and her charges, but each night it was becoming more and more pronounced.

Of course the person she missed most she’d never see again and that brought even more despair to her heart. She wished again, on each star in the sky, that Simon was back with her. She knew if he were here now, he would be standing with her, his strong arms wrapped around her growing belly, cradling her and their unborn child as she leaned against him. Closing her eyes for a moment she tried to imagine the sensation.

It worked for a split second and with new tears, Kaylee again opened her eyes to her empty room. She almost wished she couldn’t dream about him; maybe then the knowledge that he was gone wouldn’t sting so much. But every time Kaylee thought like that she simply scolded herself; if she could not be with Simon in life than she would be with him in her dreams, no matter how painful the waking.

Realizing that standing by the window was only furthering to tire her, Kaylee sat in the room’s rocking chair and swayed her and her baby back and forth. After more tears and many more kicks, she was finally able to drift off to her dreams.

***

“Shh, you’re gonna wake ‘er up.”

“Not-uh, you are.”

“Shhhhh, I said. She needs to sleep, she’s gonna be a mama soon.”

Kaylee tried not to smile as she heard the little voices all crowded around her. She recognized each of them of course. Sensing that Ellie was closest to her, Kaylee waited until the girl started to speak again before reaching out and catching her in a tight embrace. “Gotcha!”

The girl squealed with delight, and Kaylee hugged her close, placing a gentle kiss to her cheek before setting the blonde-haired angel back on her feet. Turning to face her two friends, she stuck her tongue out slightly and said, “See, I told ya you’d wake ‘er.”

Smiling at each of them, Kaylee gave a quick peck to both Tristan and Cleo, before rising. “Sorry, Miss Kaylee,” the other two children mumbled, casting very fervent looks down to the floor.

“That’s all right,” she assured them, rising, with some difficulty and stretching her aching muscles. “Now, what are ya’ll doing in here anyways?”

“Miss Millie said we should come fetch you for breakfast,” Ellie said proudly, placing her small hand into Kaylee’s and tugging her towards the door.

“Did she now,” Kaylee asked, as Tristan came up and grabbed her other hand.

“Yah-huh,” the little boy answered, “She said ‘cause we’d been good all mornin’ we could come and get ya.”

“Well, then, I’m glad you did.” Kaylee beamed at all three of them as they headed towards the kitchen. “And what did Miss Millie make for breakfast this mornin’?”

Turning a disgusted face on her that actually made Kaylee laugh out loud, Cleo said, “Porridge.”

“Oh, porridge.” Kaylee immediately understood the girl’s disgust; it was not Millie’s best dish.

Stopping in the middle of the hallway, Kaylee knelt down among all three of them, wondering briefly how in the world she expected to get up again, and said, “Well, I tell you what. You don’t complain to Miss Millie ‘bout her porridge and I’ll make you all somethin’ special for lunch. How’s that?”

All three children’s eyes lit up even brighter than before, and Ellie squeezed her hand as she squealed again. “Somethin’ with strawberries,” she breathed, hardly able to utter the words for fear it wouldn’t come true.

Kaylee smiled and had to laugh. She had quickly turned these little ones on to her favorite food the minute she’d stepped onto the farm and found the wild bushes growing out back. “If you’re lucky,” she whispered, again placing a light kiss on Ellie’s cheek.

Watching the little ones practically skipping back down towards the kitchen, Kaylee realized that even though she was sad, incredibly so, being out here with these children and with Millie had done wonders for her. She’d been able to smile again, something she truly had thought would never be possible and she was grateful. She wanted to be a good mom to this little one she was getting ready to have and she knew happiness was a big part of that.

"Come on, Miss Kaylee,” Cleo said impatiently, as they turned to face her from farther down the hall.

Realizing it was going to take her awhile to straighten up, Kaylee waved them away and said, “I’ll be right there. You all go on.”

Once they were out of sight, Kaylee muttered a curse at her inability to move with any kind of ease anymore. As her sore muscles protested the motion of straightening, Kaylee again arched her back to release some of the tension there and rubbed her belly as she headed for the kitchen. “Maybe we’ll have a small bowl of porridge today, little one. What’da say?” With a sharp kick, Kaylee knew exactly what the baby thought of that idea.

Smiling she whispered, “Okay, you win. Large bowl it is.”

***

Marie regarded Mal with a look of pure disbelief, while he gazed back at her in all seriousness. “You don’t actually believe her, do you? You think there’s a chance her brother’s still alive?”

Mal exchanged another glance with Jayne and then looked back to Marie, his arms still crossed over his chest. “She believes it and that’s good enough for me.”

Marie whistled quietly through her teeth and had to sit down for this. Not only was Kaylee’s Simon possibly alive, but his sister was a gorram reader. And now, Mal was proposing a suicide mission to get the boy back when they didn't even know if he'd be willing to go with them. If his memories had been wiped away, suddenly seeing strangers on his doorstep might be a shock the man couldn't handle. It could turn out very bad. This didn't sound like the best idea, but she knew Mal and his crew had pulled off plenty more dangerous capers in the time she'd known him.

Looking to Zoe, Mal asked, “Is the ship ready?”

Zoe nodded once, her face impassive. Mal knew that she would do anything he asked of her, no matter how crazy and he appreciated that loyalty right now. “Ready as she’ll ever be.”

Glancing to Inara, Mal inquired, “Were you able to get the clearances we’ll need?”

She smiled at him, that smile that melted his heart every time and patted his arm. “Of course, dear, who do you think you’re talking to?”

Deciding to save his answer to that question for a private moment, Mal turned back to Jayne and the merc beat him to it. “She’s fine, Mal. She’s been gettin’ plenty o’ rest.” Stepping forward, he lowered his voice and said, “She needs to do this.”

Mal shook his head and told the other man, “I ain’t gonna argue that. For this plan to have a chance in hell of succeeding, she’s gonna have to do this.”

“I’m ready, captain daddy.” River’s strong and clear voice resounded throughout the room, and Mal turned to see her standing behind him, her hair pulled back and her face bright and open. She looked a mite better than she had just a week ago and Mal had to admit it warmed his heart to see her so calm.

Mal turned back to the Everetts and extended a hand to Walt. “Walt, Marie, when this is done, we’ll probably be swinging back this way. I’m thinking lil’ Kaylee might change her mind ‘bout seein’ us if we got the doctor in tow.” Walt smiled at him tightly and gave him a hug.

Marie stepped up to him next and embraced him as well. “Don’t tell her ‘bout this,” Mal whispered to the older woman. “Not till we know anythin’ for sure.”

Marie closed her eyes against her tears as she whispered back, “You have my word.”

The rest of the crew said their goodbyes and by the time they were up and into space, Walt and Marie had already started clearing their breakfast dishes. “Did you tell him,” Walt asked his wife as she scrubbed the plates in the sink.

Her eyes focused far away, Marie hoped she’d made the right decision. “Ain’t my secret to tell,” she answered and continued her cleaning, trying not to get too hopeful that Kaylee might get her love back and her baby might get its daddy after all.

***

When Simon picked Alicia up that evening for their third date in as many weeks, he was relieved to see her dressed beautifully, but much more casually then their previous evenings. He had wanted to take her someplace not at all fancy and he’d worried that should she be wearing a great cocktail dress, it’d be a little difficult to pull off.

“How was work today,” he asked her, as the hovercar sped along towards their destination. They were descending farther into Capitol City and while it wasn’t necessarily a bad neighborhood, it wasn’t necessarily good either.

He could see the concern plaguing Alicia’s features as she answered, “Fine, busy, you know, the usual.” Turning to him finally, she asked, “Uh, Simon, where exactly are we going?”

Smiling at her, and thereby banishing all her fears, he squeezed her hand gently and whispered, “You’ll see.”

When they reached the burger joint, really no more than an Earth-that-was diner prototype, Alicia gave Simon her most dubious glare. “This is your favorite restaurant,” she questioned, as he guided her to a garishly red booth, referencing his initial answer to her inquiry of where they were going.

He grinned goofily, even as he flipped through the old-time mini-jukebox on the table. Finding one of his most favorite songs, he hit the appropriate buttons and then sat back, his smile even wider. Like a kid on Christmas morning, he said, “Yup.”

Alicia could only giggle at his obvious joy, so glad to see Simon having fun for a change. She had missed this side of him, the fun-loving, adventurous side who knew there was more to life than work. Reaching a hand out across the table, she grabbed one of his squeezed lightly. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”

Simon shared her grin and then cocked an eyebrow at her, “I wouldn’t thank me until you’ve tasted the food,” he warned.

Laughing again, Alicia hoped that evenings like this would be one of many.

***

As Alicia watched Simon down his third chocolate milkshake, she wrinkled her nose at him and said, “You’re going to have a bellyache tomorrow.”

Waving away her concern, Simon reached for another French fry. Holding it up before his face, he studied it for a moment, causing his date to give him an even more puzzled expression. Grinning wickedly, Simon took a few more of the fries from his plate and placed them on the table. “Watch this,” he told her, and proceeded to create a “person” from the French fries, using one for the body, breaking two in half to get the four limbs and then removing his discarded pickle for the head.

Still chuckling at this seemingly childlike side of her friend, Alicia nodded at his creation and said, “Amazing. You’re like a regular Picasso.”

Giving her his own look, Simon then took the ketchup bottle and held it over the fry man, top down. “Yeah, but you haven’t seen the best part,” and with that, he proceeded to drench the fry man in ketchup, leaving a red, blobby mess on the countertop. “See,” Simon asked as he put down the bottle and looked back to her. “He’s had an accident.”

He laughed out loud a good, hearty laugh and Alicia could tell he’d done this before, more than likely as a kid. “I see you’ve been witness to this tragedy in the past,” she said solemnly, as he proceeded to eat the now soaked fry bits.

Smiling at her, he said around a mouth full of food, “Oh yeah, we used to do this all the time. It drove our parents crazy.”

Alicia watched him finish in silence, waiting for him to catch his own slip. When he looked back to her with clear eyes and a completely confused expression, she asked, “Simon, who’s we?”

His eyes widened just slightly as Simon realized his mistake. He’d been wondering all night why he felt so free, so giddy. He’d even been wondering what had possessed him to come to this place – it wasn’t like anywhere he’d ever eaten before. But as if on auto-pilot, he’d been drawn to the little restaurant with its greasy food and light atmosphere. And now, he knew why.

He’d come here with River, the sister he didn’t have. Or didn’t know about. He remembered vividly making French fry men and drowning them in ketchup with her, their parents watching in disgust as they then devoured their creations. They had only come here a handful of times, eventually his parents had figured out it wasn’t really an appropriate dining spot, and that had ended his and his sister’s fun.

But it hadn’t destroyed the memory. Swallowing past a lump in his throat he had not felt forming, Simon shrugged to his date, and looked hurriedly around the restaurant for their waitress. “Nothing, I meant me. I used to do that all the time.”

Not convinced, Alicia leaned forward and grabbed his hand, forcing him to face her. “No, you meant we and I think you had another memory of your sister. The one you’re trying so hard to convince yourself doesn’t exist.”

Simon did not want to go through this again. His memories of the previous couple of weeks could not be real, it was impossible, and Simon was a doctor. He lived and worked and thrived in an environment where everything had a cause and an effect; where everything added up into tidy sums; where everything made sense, and discovering he had a long lost sister did not make any kind of sense.

Shrugging off her touch, he smiled at her, but the gesture did not reach his eyes and it caused Alicia to shiver slightly. “It’s nothing, Alicia,” he said again. Heading to the counter to pay their bill, he grinned back at her and said, “Maybe too many milkshakes.”

She watched him go, knowing it was something, despite his protestations. Of course, how she could convince him of that, she had no idea.

****

The next morning, Alicia did something she had been trying to avoid; she actually sought out Keller Li. Finding him was not difficult, one only needed to look for a bundle of attractive, young nurses all giggling incessantly over something and there he was, smack in the middle of it.

Clearing her throat and getting all the attention, the nurses scattered at the sight of another doctor, leaving her to glare at Keller who simply grinned in return.

“Alicia, to what do I owe this fine pleasure,” he asked, stepping forward and placing a kiss to her cheek.

Pushing him away with an easy hand to his chest, she said, “Watch it, buddy. I can still break you like a twig.”

Lowering his voice, he said with a tone of mock hurt, “Must you mention our little sparring debacle every time I see you? It is kind of emasculating.”

Alicia rolled her eyes at him, never tiring of reminding him that once, in college, they had taken a self-defense class together and she had dropped him squarely on his butt. Ah, good times. “I didn’t think anything in the ‘verse could cause Keller Li, the gifted orthopedic surgeon, to feel any kind of shame.”

Sighing, Keller thought for a moment and then answered with an even bigger grin on his face, “You’re right, how foolish of me!”

Turning to walk with her down the hall, he asked, “So what can I do for you?”

Spotting an empty patient room, she pulled him inside only to have to endure another one of his insipid remarks. “Why doctor Sampson, I’m not so sure this is a good idea.”

“Can it, Keller,” she told him, giving him an icy glare. “I need to talk with you about Simon.”

All thoughts of teasing instantly gone, Keller looked to his friend and asked, “What about Simon?”

“Has he said anything to you that’s been off?”

Keller wasn’t sure he liked where this was heading. Now he knew for certain he didn’t.

“What do you mean, off,” Keller questioned, trying to quell his rising discomfort. “Has something happened?”

She turned fear-filled eyes to him and Keller knew it would be bad. And considering he knew how bad it could be, he feared the worst.

“He’s having flashes of a girl. I think they’re repressed memories.” She said the words in barely a whisper, but they rang through his head as loud as anything. This was bad, worse than he had feared – and if Alicia knew that made the situation even more complicated.

“What girl,” he managed to say through clenched teeth, guessing he already knew.

He’d guessed right. “A sister,” Alicia told him, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief that she could share this secret and her concern with someone else. “I didn’t know Simon had a sister, did you?”

Keller squelched his initial reaction to say yes, and simply answered, “No, of course not. He’s an only child.” Turning from Alicia, he tried to gather his thoughts. If Alicia knew of River and if Simon were starting to remember, then the neural reprogramming had not been successful and the result of that failure would have dire consequences – for all of them.

“Come on, Alicia. You know how Simon is,” he told her, trying to gauge how much she had bought into all of this. “He gets stressed and tired and he gets a little loopy. I mean, that’s what got him into trouble in the first place.”

Giving him a hard stare, she shook her head and told him, “No, Kell, that’s not what this is. He remembers her. He actually managed to pull out a repressed memory about a month ago. She’s becoming real to him.”

This wasn’t good, not by any stretch of anyone’s imagination. If Simon were starting to have memories of his sister, there was a very real chance he would remember all of his old life and that was something that Keller had been hired to ensure did not happen. Trying to stifle his own growing feeling of dread, Keller affected another one of his winning smiles and told Alicia, “Look, Als, I doubt this is anything. But I’ll talk to him, will that help?”

Sighing with relief, Alicia placed a light hand on his shoulder. “Yes, it would make me feel better.” Casting her eyes to the floor she finished quietly, “I just worry about him, you know?”

“I know,” Keller told her, wondering if she had any idea of how bad Simon’s relapse would be for all of them.

***

River had fallen asleep in the pilot’s seat, not a big surprise, as she often would not leave the bridge during a particularly dangerous mission and she had more of a stake in what they were planning now then anything else.

Jayne had found her like that, asleep, and decided to stay close by. He too was dozing when a wail from her caused him to become immediately alert. Glancing over to her quickly, he saw her double over in pain, her body shaking with sobs she could not contain.

Rushing to her side, Jayne pulled River into his arms even as she tried to fight him. Falling with her to the floor, he cradled her against his chest as she beat her small fists against him. “No, no, no,” she kept wailing over and over again and though Jayne tried to calm her, nothing worked.

By the time she had brought her emotions under control, Zoe was in the doorway, having awoken at the sound. Giving Jayne a quizzical look, he shrugged slightly and then gazed back down to River. Pulling her face up to look at him, he brushed some of her hair back from her face. God, he wished she would focus those eyes, he hated it when they were so distant.

“River, darlin’, what s'matter?” He tried to keep his voice steady, but he was finding it difficult. As they had been approaching Osiris in the past few days, River had had more and more moments like these where she was unable to say anything coherent and railed against whoever was close by. “Come on, River, tell me what you dreamed.”

She finally pulled her eyes back from their sojourn and when she met his gaze, Jayne felt his breath catch in his throat. The agony her look conveyed was enough to stop his heart from beating. “He’s scared and they know it,” she whispered, her voice dangerously low. “They know,” she repeated and again began to sob, digging her hands into the front of his shirt, trying to burrow her way through him.

Jayne looked up again to Zoe and she nodded once heading back towards Inara’s shuttle to get Mal. “We’ll get to ‘im, baby girl,” Jayne whispered, using the endearment for the first time and liking how it sounded. “It’s gonna be okay.”

River heard his words and she knew he meant them, but she was not convinced. Simon’s mind was more of a minefield now than her own and she could not see with any clarity what the next few days, weeks or months would bring. Not knowing was almost worse for River than knowing and clutching to Jayne tighter, she tried to bury her fear, her pain and her heart. She wished she could rip it out of her chest; then maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much.

***

Keller had decided it was time to call in the big guns. After Alicia’s quick SOS telling him that their good friend, Doctor Tam, was back on the slippery slope of dementia, he had made a call he always tried to avoid like the plague. One to Gabriel Tam.

Of course the older gentleman was as dour as always, but even he could see the need to rein Simon in. In a flash, he had a dinner party planned with a very select guest list, the aforementioned mister and Mrs. Tam, Alicia, Simon and Keller. He wasn’t relishing the thought of an entire evening at the Tam estate, the place was pretty much the closest to a morgue he ever liked to get, but this wasn’t about him anymore. Well, actually it kind of was, because if Simon snapped, it would be Keller’s ass on the line.

He arrived at the Tam’s a good fifteen minutes late as was his plan. He wanted to give Alicia and Simon plenty of time to chat, for the Tams to ingratiate themselves with the young couple. Keller found it particularly painful to watch Regan and Gabriel try so desperately to throw Simon and the pretty, young psychiatrist together. He knew Simon wasn’t interested. Of course, bringing Alicia on board had been his idea, so he couldn’t readily admit defeat, but he knew he should. The battle to get them married off was a losing one.

As he was ushered into the parlor, he saw the four of them talking demurely. Simon looked up at his entrance, rising to cross the room and shake his hand. Leaning towards him as he took a grip, Simon whispered, “I’m really glad you’re here. Can you do something embarrassing so my mother stops asking Alicia about favorite baby names?”

Clapping Simon on the back and genuinely smiling at his friend’s discomfort, Keller murmured back, “I will do my best, my friend.”

Simon smiled his thanks and then ushered him into the room. “Good evening, Mrs. Tam, Mr. Tam.” Keller greeted his hosts as he had been trained to do through endless etiquette lessons and boring practice. He had been raised in a world of privilege, like everyone else in this room, but he had taken to it like a flame to water and so his training had been severely browbeaten into him as a teenager. They were still memories he tried to repress.

“A drink, Keller,” Gabriel asked him, knowing full well what the boy would drink, but asking, out of politeness.

“A brandy, if you have it, Mr. Tam,” he answered, taking a seat next to Regan.

Planting a kiss to her cheek, he loved the way the older lady blushed, so predictable. “Mrs. Tam, you are looking lovely this evening.”

“Why, thank you, Keller,” she said. Gesturing to Alicia’s beautiful form, she said, “However, I think the young doctor Sampson far outshines me.”

“I would be remiss if I did not at least agree you both are lovely,” Keller answered, rising slightly to take Alicia’s hand and kiss it. “Alicia, good to see you.”

“And you Keller,” she said, throwing him a look. He knew she was on to him; she had been instantly suspicious when just a few days after looking to him for help, he had managed to get a dinner party invitation out of the Tams. She knew that Simon’s parents did not approve of the young doctor and she knew that in order for them all to be here, he must have done some pretty convincing finagling. Of course, what that entailed, she was fairly certain she did not want to know.

“So, Simon, what’s new and exciting in the world of trauma surgery,” Keller asked grandly, taking the brandy Gabriel offered him with a nod. The older Tam’s face was impassable, but Keller knew it was driving him crazy to wait on him and he was secretly enjoying it.

Simon waved away the question, certain there were more appropriate dinner conversation topics. “Oh, I don’t think any of you need to hear those gory details.”

“Come on now, Tam,” Keller said, sitting forward and patting his friend’s knee encouragingly. Glancing to Alicia he gave her the slightest wink and then said, “How can Alicia here be good and impressed by you if you don’t brag, just a bit?”

Simon’s face immediately flushing, he threw his friend a look that could have frozen a volcano and would have given him a scathing retort except for the interruption that dinner was ready.

Deciding he would just as soon kill his friend later, than do so on an empty stomach, Simon followed them all out of the room, giving Keller a particularly painful squeeze on his shoulder as he did so.

***

“What do you think she knows,” the agent asked, his non-descript face decidedly creeping Keller out.

Shrugging, the man managed to hide his discomfort as he said, “With certainty, nothing. She’s just got a lot of suspicions right now.”

It was after dinner and Alicia and Simon had begged off any more embarrassing conversations by going for a walk around the grounds. That had left Regan, able to retire and Keller in the unenviable position of having to take this call with Gabriel. He hated talking with the blue hands, but as his bosses and all, there wasn’t a whole lot of choice.

Turning to regard his partner and Gabriel Tam, the blue-handed agent was not convinced. Keller Li had been a liability to them from day one and now was no different. “What do you think, mister Tam,” the agent asked, watching as the older man’s eyes flashed with contained rage before cooling again.

“I think this has gone on long enough,” Gabriel said, pushing himself up from his desk and circling behind Keller who sat in a chair across from the screen. Looking to the blue-handed agents, he said coldly, “He needs another treatment.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Keller protested, rising and turning to face his friend’s father. “I don’t think that’s the best way to go Gabe.”

“Why not,” Gabriel bit out, and leaning closer, whispered, “And I’ve told you, don’t call me Gabe.”

Sighing with annoyance, Keller said haughtily, “Fine, mister Tam, but I still don’t think sticking Simon back under the knife is the way to regain his trust.” Looking back to the agents through the screen, hoping he might get some kind of support, he realized it was a futile attempt. Turning back to Gabriel, he said, “The boy is spooked enough. How exactly do you think you’re going to convince him that he needs to go under?”

“We could drug him again,” one of the agents recommended, obviously having missed the rhetorical nature of Keller’s question.

Rolling his eyes, Keller again affected a calm demeanor and said, “Gentlemen, I think we’re losing sight of the bigger issue here.” When none of them had a clue as to what that issue might be, Keller said, “Simon’s just tense. All he needs is a nice night on the town, with his best friend.” Smiling that insidious smile, Keller turned back to Gabriel and said, “That should do the trick don’t you think?”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Gabriel eyed the young man for a moment. He was an idiot, that was obvious to Gabriel, but for some vague reason he still could not comprehend, the Alliance trusted him. “That is your big plan,” he finally asked, his tone derogatory. “Taking Simon out for drinks?”

Smiling, Keller spread his arms wide and asked, “Almost too simple to work, ain’t it?”

Without another word, which probably saved him from a strong punch to the jaw, Keller strode from the room only too happy to be out of sight, leaving the elder Tam to end their discussion with the blue hands.

He had never thought that this whole issue with Simon would grow to these kinds of proportions. Of course, he had also never thought five years ago, when he’d had the brilliant, but misguided idea to hack into Blue Sun’s database, that he would be caught.

It seemed foresight was always Keller’s downfall. As an angry teenager he’d had marginal run-ins with the authorities, but finding a way to crash all of Blue Sun’s data systems on Osiris had turned out to be more like a head-on collision. After sweating it out in an Alliance holding facility for over a month, the Alliance had made a deal with Keller.

That was when he’d first met the blue hands. Now that he knew who they were and what they were capable of, he really wished he’d trusted his initial instincts. But as a scared young man with his future dangled in front of him like a carrot on a string, he had taken the out they had offered, unaware of the small print at the time. In exchange for schooling, really good schooling that would allow him to live a life of privilege and wealth, Keller had unwittingly sold his soul.

He had done a number of odd jobs over the past five years, from petty theft to grand larceny to blackmail. But convincing his friend, his best friend, to live a life full of lies had been something he was completely unprepared for. But he had no choice, and now he was stuck, forcing Simon to be someone he wasn’t. As the strain on his friend became more and more evident Keller feared that even his powers of persuasion would not be good enough to keep Simon in the land of make believe his parents and the agents had created.

That’s why he’d told them to bring Alicia in. Keller had known that before Simon’s brush with kidnapping, the two had gotten close. So close that Simon’s disappearance from their lives had caused quite a strain on the lovely young woman, and although Keller used some of his best charm on her, she had remained firm to her love for the young doctor Tam. Which is why Keller had known her inclusion would be key, despite the risk it presented: with Alicia on board, the Alliance had more memory-wiping to do. As one of Simon’s oldest friends, she of course remembered his sister. But, since her connection to the young girl was vague at best they had been able to treat her through some outpatient visits, concocting a story about a benign lesion on her skin they had needed to remove. Her memory wasn’t the issue, never had been.

But now Simon even seemed immune to her charms and he was starting to worry that if his friend kept having these flashes of memory, flashes of his beloved sister, that Keller and Alicia would truly lose him for good. And of course, that meant Keller would lose his life for good. It wasn’t an option.

Sighing heavily, he tried very hard to bury these disturbing thoughts. Keller preferred to live in a world where everything worked out and the skies were always blue. Of course, that world was just a figment of his imagination and he knew it. But knowing didn’t nullify his need for that shiny place.

***

Simon and Alicia circled the far corner of the grounds coming upon one of the many fountains in this section of the garden. With the moonlight above and the sound of trickling water, it was a very peaceful spot and Simon found himself sitting on one of the benches there, lost in thought. It wasn’t until Alicia sat next to him, so close he could feel the heat radiating off her body, that he even remembered she was there.

Taking her hand, Simon sighed heavily and then said, “I’m sorry.”

Turning a grin to him, she asked, “For what?”

Nodding his head back towards his house, he answered, “For them, for that. I know these past couple of dinners have been unbelievably uncomfortable for you and I apologize.”

Squeezing his hand that held hers, Alicia leaned against him and said, “It’s all right, Simon. I think it’s kind of charming, actually.”

Looking to her with a furrowed brow, he asked, “Charming? You can’t be serious?”

Chuckling at his expression, she said, “You’re too close to it to truly appreciate what your parents are trying to do.” Turning to face him, she said honestly, “They just want what’s best for you.”

Simon nodded once, knowing she had a point, but he still wasn’t convinced that was their only motivation. His parents had been trying hard, very hard, to get him and Alicia to move forward in their relationship. In Simon’s estimation, his mother and father had both taken a fairly unhealthy interest in his love life.

Because you’re such a boob.

The voice startled him and inhaling sharply, Simon looked over his shoulder, trying to locate the speaker. Alicia, perplexed, followed his gaze and saw nothing there. “Simon, are you all right?”

Turning back to face her, Simon asked quietly, “You didn’t hear it?”

Growing increasingly concerned, she asked him slowly, “Hear what?”

“That voice, that girl.” He stood now, walking a few steps away from her, looking for the owner of the sound.

Found you.

Simon whirled again, uncertain as to what he was hearing. He knew that voice though; it was her, the phantom sister he’d been trying so hard to forget. Was he truly losing his mind? Again?

Alicia placed a light hand on his shoulder that made him jump, causing her to gasp involuntarily. “Simon,” she asked, once she had recovered. “Simon, what do you hear? Who’s voice?”

Just lost. Lost in the woods.

She had told him that once before, all those weeks ago, when he’d seen her for sure. But it felt different now, like she was closer, more sure that he was real. It felt more real to Simon too. The connection he’d thought he’d lost seemed to be back, burning brightly in his mind; if only he could hold onto it … keep it …

“Simon?”

Alicia disrupted his concentration and in an instant he felt the bond break. She was gone again and Simon worried that she would not come back. And he also worried that his sadness of finding and losing her again would be too much to bear. He was so tired, so tired of not knowing.

Alicia studied his face, noticing in the moonlight how pale he had become. Reaching up to place a gentle hand to his face, she said, “I think we need to get you inside. You need to rest.”

Simon could not argue with her, he was in fact feeling pretty unsteady on his feet. Allowing her to take his hand, she led him back towards his home, even as he was convinced that girl’s voice, his sister’s voice followed them all the way.

***

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