A/N: Okay, now these chapters might be considered hardcore fluff, but I find them wrought with emotional angst - hope you enjoy!

Comment, comment, comment - OR ELSE!

And thanks again to Leiasky, especially for giving me the idea of this first scene, which is by far one of my favorites!

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A NEW LIFE, ch. 24: Wants & Needs

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It was a hot day, which was no surprise. Most days on Harvest were sunny and unforgiving, the heat beating down on the dry lands, causing water to fetch a premium price and most folk to go looking for shade at the height of the day. But there was work to be done, especially for the crew of Serenity, the Everetts, the Thompsons and the Fryes.

Even sitting in the shade did little to relieve the oppressiveness of the stifling heat. But none of the three women sitting on the Frye’s porch much cared at that moment. They were much too engrossed in watching the scene before them. The scene of their shirtless and sweaty men helping to build Millie’s new home.

The Fryes had plenty of land and they had willinly sold some of it to both Millie and the Everetts, knowing that it would be much easier for all involved to start over again on a new planet with some kind, friendly folks nearby. The benefit of course was they could all continue to stay at the Frye’s home, where they’d already been for about two weeks, while enlisting the help of not only the crew, but many of the Frye’s neighbors.

The benefit for the women had been hidden at first, but slowly became obvious, especially to Kaylee after the first day of Simon working outside in the sun. His pale, pale skin was not used to such overexposure to the elements and he’d suffered those first few days with a sunburn that wouldn’t quit. Kaylee had, of course, administered to his needs, finding aloe and rubbing the cool gel along his back and limbs, and now, thankfully, he was not hurting as much anymore. He was just a brownish tan color all over that made Kaylee’s mouth water. She’d always thought Simon was swai, but that tan looked particularly delicious on his well-muscled torso.

Turning a knowing gaze to her sister-in-law, almost, River said, “He likes it too. Makes him feel manly.”

Kaylee giggled at River’s assessment, unable to meet her gaze and pull her eyes away from Simon. Licking her lips in anticipation of what that night would bring, River picked up on these lustful thoughts and again turned her gaze back to the worksite, taking in Jayne’s shirtless form. Her own mind going through quite a few naughty scenarios, it was finally Inara who tried to inject some reason into their ogling.

“We really should be helping them,” she said half-heartedly, her eyes firmly glued to Mal’s form.

“No we shouldn’t,” Kaylee answered.

“Why not,” her friend asked, her eyes refusing to leave the sight of Mal’s back.

“They wouldn’t get any work done,” River answered, smiling slightly at the thought of tying to help Jayne and getting caught up in those strong and sweaty arms.

It was like this, still staring and slightly salivating that Ellie and Zoe found the three women. Zoe immediately caught on to what had them so captivated, but it was a mystery to the five-year-old. Standing in front of Kaylee with a quizzical look on her face, she placed her hands on her hips and asked loudly, “Miss Kaylee, whatcha starin’ at?”

Laughing out loud, Zoe drew the little girl away as all three of the ladies blushed slightly at being caught. “Come on, baby,” Zoe told Ellie, pushing her back towards the house. “You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.”

On their way in they passed Winnie, Marie and Millie who were carrying trays laden with cool drinks and food. Catching the three other girls staring off towards their men, Winnie adopted her most annoyed expression and said sternly, “What do you girls think you’re doin’?”

At the sound of her perturbed voice, all three of them straightened, snapping themselves from their daydreaming. Not giving them time to answer her, Winnie handed Kaylee her tray of goodies and watched as Marie and Millie did the same to River and Inara. “I mean, for God’s sake, you’d think you three were moony teenagers the way you been gawkin’.”

Turning a frown to the woman, Winnie smiled at River and amended, “All right, you are a moony teenager, but you two,” she said looking to her daughter and her friend, whose cheeks had blushed an appropriate shade of red, “Oughtta know better. Now get that stuff out to them boys who’ve been slavin’ away while you been sittin’.” Winnie watched the three of them turn and go, calling after them, “And try to control yerselves.”

Waiting until they were well out of earshot, Winnie finally turned and smiled a huge grin at both Millie and Marie, seeing that they were smiling right along with her. “Good ol’ days,” Marie said with a wistful sigh and then all three women broke down into laughter, remembering a time when they would have been just as guilty of staring as the three girls they had just scolded.

***

Simon was half-asleep by the time Kaylee crawled back into bed. She had been awakened by one of Daniel’s cries and it had taken her the better part of an hour to get him back down. Simon had offered to go get him for her, but she had simply pushed him down lightly, given him a kiss that had quickly turned his legs to jelly and told him that he’d worked hard all day and she could handle it. Simon had been unable to fight her much past that point.

As she pressed up next to him, Simon dropped his arm around her waist and pressed a light kiss to her temple. He was sure he’d be asleep again in moments, even as Kaylee drew small circles on his bare chest with her fingers. Despite his exhaustion, he felt his desire for her building and soon rolled over to face her, his eyes opening sleepily to gaze at her beautiful face.

“Sorry to wake ya,” she murmured, her hand coming to rest on his cheek.

Kissing her lightly, he murmured back, “It’s okay. Daniel all right?”

She nodded once and snuggled in closer, her head fitting perfectly in the crook of his neck. He pulled her as close as he could resting his chin on her head as he again started to drift off.

“Simon,” she whispered.

“Hmm.” It was all he could manage to get out as he felt sleep tugging at him once again.

“I wanna get married.”

Instantly awake again, Simon pulled back from her to read her expression. They had barely discussed the wedding details since he’d proposed, and he had assumed that it would happen sooner rather than later, but he was slightly surprised that she was mentioning it now. Although why, he couldn’t even begin to fathom.

“Okay,” he said, thinking about the money he still had saved. Even after the first few weeks of working on the new homes and giving Mal some money, which he’d taken grumbling the whole time, for repairs to Serenity, Simon knew they had more than enough to throw the most lavish wedding ever, and the best part was he hadn’t even shared that tiny detail with his bride-to-be yet.

Biting her lip, Kaylee continued on and finally gave Simon a clue as to why she seemed so nervous about broaching this topic now. “See, I’ve been talkin’ to my mama and some of the church ladies, and they said they’ll get all the food ready and my ma can alter her dress and …” She trailed off and looked up into his face again. “I just know we don’t really got anythin’ right now, but I don’t want that to stop us from livin’ our lives. We can work it out.”

Simon smiled at her, feeling more love for this beautiful woman in his arms then he had ever thought possible. Of course, she had been nervous about wounding his manly pride by recommending they get married through the charity of others.

It also meant he felt like a heel for making her worry over something that was more than all right. Kissing her, long and deep, Simon felt Kaylee press against him and he loved it, loved her, loved every minute of their time together. When they finally parted for air, he whispered, “Actually, there’s something I need to tell you, Kaylee.”

She looked to him with expectant eyes and Simon said a silent prayer to whatever God was listening that his admission would not get him kicked out of bed or hit with a heavy object.

“Before River and I left our mother, we were able to get to a bank, on Beaumonde.” Kaylee still held his gaze waiting for him to tell her what was going on and Simon again prayed. “Kaylee, we don’t need to worry about money. Not now, possibly not for a long while.”

Her eyes widened at him and then immediately squinted into slits. “Whatda ya mean,” she asked, her tone growing suspicious. “You didn’t steal money from your ma, did ya?”

Simon actually laughed and had to stifle the sound as he realized it was very late and the others were probably asleep. Kissing her nose lightly, he said, “No ai ren, no, of course not. I was able to withdraw the money I’d been earning at the hospital last year. That’s how we’ve been paying for all the building supplies –"

“And the new parts for Serenity,” Kaylee finished for him, thinking about all the shiny new additions to her ship’s engine. Looking up to him, Kaylee asked, “Is it a lot o’ money?”

“It’s plenty, trust me,” Simon told her. “I’ve already promised some of it to Walt and Marie and Millie and the kids, I want to be sure they’re secure when we leave. It seemed only fair, I hope you don’t mind,” he whispered, brushing some of her hair back behind her ear.

Shaking her head, she said, “Of course not, silly. It’s your money.”

“No, Kaylee,” Simon told her, again pressing a light kiss to her lips. “It’s our money.”

Biting her lip, Simon watched as Kaylee’s eyes lit up. Breathlessly, she asked, “So we can have a big weddin’ then?”

“Yes, bao bei, we can have the biggest wedding you can imagine,” Simon assured her, again pulling her close.

Kaylee could hardly contain her excitement. She had dreamed of her wedding day since she was four, thinking of the pretty dress and the flowers and the food and the music. She had always wanted something big and grand with all the folks there whom she’d ever loved. It was not like anything else Kaylee had ever pictured for herself, because she had honestly never thought it would happen. But now that she had met Simon and they had a son, she knew that it didn’t matter if they had a grand wedding or a small ceremony. The only thing that mattered at the end of the day was that they would be joined, as man and wife, forever.

Sighing contentedly, Kaylee let her mind race with plans and ideas far into the night.

***

River watched Cadie sleeping, the little girl having been up most of the night with nightmares. It was now early morning and a steady rain was falling outside, a rarity to be sure. But it was a welcome respite for everyone, especially the guys has they had been slaving away over the new houses for almost three weeks straight.

Running her fingers through the child’s hair, River felt Jayne enter the doorway and pause, content to watch her for a few quiet moments. She did not turn at his entrance, but instead stayed focused on the girl and her own thoughts, trying to keep them calm and steady so that she would not disturb Cadie’s now dreamless sleep.

Finally sensing Jayne’s impatience, River leaned down to press a light kiss to the girl’s cheek and then rose, turning to face him in the doorway. Putting a finger to her lips, she tiptoed out of the room, and shut the door behind her. At the closing of the door, he asked, “She okay?”

River nodded once, looking into Jayne’s blue eyes. She didn’t know how long she had been on board Serenity before she had noticed how blue his eyes were. They were startling to her now, one look from them easily causing her knees to grow weak, but she still had no idea how long it had taken her to notice. Of course, considering it had taken Jayne almost a year to notice her as anything but crazy, she supposed she had a justifiable excuse for her inattention.

Placing an arm around her waist, Jayne drew her back down the hallway to sit on a window seat there. The house was quiet, the children all a little moody at the rain, although it was sorely needed for the brown ground outside. They sat in a comfortable silence, River leaning up against Jayne’s broad chest, before he finally broke the quiet. “You promised me we’d talk, baby girl.”

River smiled slightly at his attempt to be nonchalant, knowing her silence on the topic of their relationship was driving him slightly crazy. Of course, he did not complain when she found him and kissed him, pressing her body up against his and feeling her desire grow tenfold. But still, he was confused, as was she, as to what exactly was happening. The truth was he was falling in love with her, had been for quite some time and he wanted to know, needed to know, if this was just another game she was playing or if there was a chance that she could love him too.

She wished she had an answer for him. Her own thoughts were still so jumbled on the matter. Simon’s objections not withstanding, there were a lot of reasons why River and Jayne should not be together, many of them stemming from what had been done to her at the Academy; it was quite possibly not safe for Jayne to be with her and even though he might deny it, she knew he still felt a little bit of fear at what she was capable of.

“I’m not sure,” she said in way of an answer, her eyes never leaving the window, where the rain was running patterns down the glass. “I’m not sure what you want to talk about.”

Stifling a grunt, Jayne tightened his hold on her waist and pressed a kiss into her hair. “Us, girl, you know that.”

River had to smile again and this time did turn to face him. “What us,” she asked gently, allowing her hand to rest against his cheek.

“Don’t play with me, River,” he said quietly, his voice growing slightly angry, but his eyes pleading with her for an answer. “You know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout, better than anybody.”

Sighing, River allowed her hand to drop from his face and she looked at her intertwined fingers in her lap. Within seconds she felt her eyes tearing and knew that she would be crying soon, again, and she hated it. “Jayne, I don’t know if I can give you what you want.” Raising her eyes to look back at him, she finished, “I don’t know if I can be the girl you want.”

Jayne frowned at her, uncertain exactly what she was talking about. Taking a guess, he said, “Is this ‘bout sex? ‘Cause that can wait, I mean not too long now, a man’s got needs, but …” He trailed off as he saw her smile through her tears and he knew he hadn’t quite gotten her meaning. Fighting the blush he felt creeping along his neck, he asked, “That ain’t what you meant, is it?”

Her smile deepened and she answered, “No, although I think that’s a different topic for a whole other time. No, I mean, me. I’m not like any other woman you’ve ever known. I’m not trying to brag, it’s just the truth.” She hated admitting this to him, to anyone. Hated admitted that she was different, perhaps too different.

“You don’t think I know that,” he asked, placing a finger under her chin so she’d have no choice but to meet his gaze. “I ain’t an idjit, River. I know you’re different and that’s what makes you so special. That’s what makes us work, I think,” he answered quietly, not at all accustomed to speaking so plainly about love.

River smiled at him, but it was a weak smile that did not meet her eyes. She still had her doubts, a lot of them, and she wasn’t so sure there was anything Jayne could say or do to erase them. But there was one thing she could think of, one answer she needed beyond all others. Maybe once she had confirmation, she’d feel more normal, more like the girl she was supposed to be.

Kissing him quickly, she rose and started for the stairs. Confused, Jayne took a few steps to follow her, but stopped as she turned back to him. “I’ll be back, I just need to go check on something.”

“You okay,” he asked her, even as she turned again to leave.

Looking back to him with a smile that easily rendered him speechless, she said, “I’m okay. We’re okay,” and then ran out of sight.

Jayne stood in the empty hallway for just a moment more wondering when he had fallen in love with that girl and whether or not he was going a little crazy himself.

***

River found Simon on Serentiy as she knew she would. Having gotten the day off from building, he had instead turned back to his infirmary, working to restock and refit the small room with new equipment and supplies, most coming from the money he’d managed to get out before the Alliance had again crashed his accounts.

She watched him work for a few more minutes, his back to her, and tried to work up the courage to ask what she’d come here for. She very rarely felt any trepidation in asking Simon for anything, but this was different. She knew this request would not only frighten him, it would anger him and she needed to be sure she was ready for both of those reactions.

Knowing that stalling would not make it any easier, she entered the room and said, “It’s so clean again.”

He turned at the sound of her voice, having not known she was there. “River, what are you doing here?” Noticing her damp hair and clothes, he realized she must have run in the rain. “Is everything all right,” he asked quickly, his thoughts immediately drifting to Kaylee and the baby.

She nodded once as she hopped up onto the diagnostic bed. Offering her a towel, Simon studied her a bit more closely as she began to dry off her hair. Furrowing his brow a bit, he asked again, “Are you sure everything’s all right?”

Inclined to nod again and ignore the anxiety growing in her gut, River stopped herself and finally let her gaze rest on her brother’s face. His eyes were blue too, just like Jayne’s. But unlike Jayne’s, her brother’s eyes were full of familial concern, a practiced look he had developed from years of being her guardian.

Taking his hand, she said softly, “I need your help, Simon.”

His heart instantly thudding against his chest, he stepped closer, immediately reaching out with the back of one hand to feel her forehead, instantly becoming the famed doctor. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

She shook her head, disrupting his hand and again looked into his eyes. “I need you to do a test for me, on me.”

Simon held her gaze a moment more and read her determination and her fear there. He didn’t like it, not any of this. Placing a gentle hand against her cheek, he whispered, “A test for what, mei mei? What’s wrong?”

Taking one more deep breath, River finally said, “I want to know if I can have children.”

Simon reeled from this request, his body staggering slightly at the statement. Unable to form words for a minute, his mouth worked soundlessly as he continued to stare at his sister, who met his dumbfounded gaze steadily. Finally he blurted, “You want to what?”

River smiled patiently at him, knowing that the thought of his baby sister having sex was not one Simon ever wanted to entertain, let alone the thought of her having a baby. Throw Jayne into that equation and she was honestly surprised he hadn’t fainted yet.

“I need to know, Simon,” she told him. “It’s important.”

“Important for who,” Simon asked, incredulous. His eyes narrowing, he asked coldly, “Did Jayne put you up to this?”

Shaking her head, River told him, “Jayne doesn’t even know I’m here. And chances are, if he did, he’d be in worse shape than you are right now.”

Simon took little comfort in that information and continued to stare at his sister. She was serious, he could read that from her as clear as he could read a chart. She wanted to know, needed to, for some reason he had yet to figure out. And he worried what that reason could possibly be.

River watched him, knowing from the minute she’d entered the room that Simon would grant her request. He was a good doctor and if she came to him as a patient, not as a sister, he’d be unable to deny her. But she still wanted him to be okay with it, still wanted him to know that she was okay.

“Simon, I just need to know, for my own peace of mind,” she assured him, reaching for his hand. He gave it to her and stepped closer, still not at all convinced this was a good idea. “It’s important to me, Simon.”

“But why now,” he asked. “Why, mei mei? We’ve both been through so much this past year. If the test comes back and the results aren’t what you want …” He let the statement die on his lips, unwilling to put it into words. Looking back to her face, he saw that a few tears had formed in the bottom of her eyes. “I just don’t want you to have to go through that pain. Not now, not if it can be helped.”

Shrugging slightly, she said, “I’ll have to deal with it some day. Why not now?” Knowing that answer would not satisfy him, she explained, “It’s because of Cadie. Something she said to me and Jayne a few weeks ago.” Simon’s expression told her to continue and so she did. “She called me mama.”

Simon’s eyes again widened in shock, but to his credit, he managed to get it under control a bit more quickly this time. “She did,” he asked carefully, trying to process this information.

Nodding, River continued, “And I realized something in that moment, Simon. I realized that I want to be a mother some day. Despite all that’s happened to me, or maybe because of it, I want to bring a life into this world and care for it and love it with all my heart. I don’t necessarily want it right now, but I know I will, eventually, and it’s just made me wonder if there aren’t more lasting effects from my time at the Academy that even we don’t know about.” She paused and swallowed past the lump that had risen in her throat. “I just need to know if it’s possible,” she whispered.

Simon took a deep breath and let it out slowly. His mei mei really was growing up and he knew there was nothing he could do about it. She had been her own person for quite some time now, had even managed just fine while he’d been away. He really didn’t have the right to tell her no, to tell her she couldn’t understand her own body. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t want to.

“I don’t think this is a good idea, mei mei,” he told her quietly.

Placing a hand under his chin, she smiled at him through her tears and said, “I know, and I love you for your concern. But it’s not your choice to make.”

He nodded to her once, and knew that she was right. He also knew that he would much rather be the one to give her the test results, so that, if they were bad news, he could help her understand, help her to deal. He didn’t want to say no and have her go to some doctor they had never met before.

Turning from her to prep the instruments he’d need, he said, “I can do the test here, but I’ll have to take the samples into town to be analyzed at the lab.” Turning back to her, he noticed she had already dutifully lied down on the exam table. They had indeed spent way too much time in this room together. “It’s going to take twelve hours to get the results at least.”

River nodded once and tried to stifle her fear of what those results would tell her.

*** Comments, please and thank you!