A/N: This chapter sees the return of some of our OCs from A NEW LIFE as well as Zoe (c'mon, I couldn't just leave her out!)

Thanks to all for reading and responding, I'm glad that you feel this story is building at a nice place - trust me, there's more angst, fluffiness and some butt-kickin' to come!

Leiasky - thanks a bunch for the beta and the advice and the wisdom and the chats and the ... well, you get the idea.

Please read and comment!

***

A NEW BEGINNING, ch. 6: Stages of Grief

***

Once on Harvest, the children bounded off of the ship so fast, it made their parents’ heads spin. After a few reminders to be good and play nice, the three kids were again immersed in lands of make believe and sporting games with Millie’s children and the Frye’s grandkids. Mal and Inara disembarked next, greeting Zoe with a huge hug and then turning to Millie, Walt, Marie, Thom and Winne. Kaylee came down, running into the arms of her parents. She had explained to them just a bit what was happening and all the women, including Marie and Millie, felt sadness for River’s loss.

Jayne followed in just a few minutes, carrying a few bags of his and River’s things for their stay planet side. He was followed closely by Simon, supporting River’s still weak form. He’d wanted to carry her off the ship on the stretcher, but she had insisted on walking on her own, and Simon had been powerless to convince her otherwise.

Millie approached the siblings as they reached the bottom of the ramp, and with a gentle smile and a strong arm, she wrapped River in a tight embrace and looked back to Simon. “I’ll take it from here, Simon. Why don’t you and Jayne set up her things in one of the rooms in the back of the house and we’ll see you boys in a bit?”

Both men nodded resolutely, knowing that it wasn’t really a request, but more of a command and watched the two women walk away slowly. Everyone did actually and both Kaylee and Inara blinked back tears as they saw River’s weakened form fading.

“Well, now, I know you all must be glad to be back on solid ground,” Marie said jovially, trying to bring a smile to the dour faces that surrounded her. “Why don’t you all come inside and sit a spell. I got all kinds of food done prepared and Walt and I could sure use some of those great stories you always got.” With a few nods, Mal, Inara, Zoe and the Fryes followed Walt and Marie into the house. Jayne and Simon stood still staring off in the direction River had gone. Kaylee moved to her husband’s side, sliding her hand into his.

“Let me help you with her things,” Kaylee offered, reaching out to take the bag Simon was carrying.

Pulling it out her grasp, Simon instantly regretted the motion. Refocusing his far-off gaze, Simon saw his wife’s green eyes fill with tears at his coldness. “I’m sorry, bao bei,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I would greatly appreciate your help.”

She smiled at him, squeezing his hand tightly and turned to Jayne. “Come on, Jayne. Let’s go get everything ready.”

The big man was not even paying attention. Instead his gaze had drifted to the children running about in Millie’s yard just a few feet away. One child in particular, Cadie caught his attention. She’d always had a special place in Jayne’s and River’s hearts and now as he watched her playing, like a normal kid, so different from the last time they’d seen her, he felt his heart ache uncomfortably. Shoving the bag he was carrying to the doc, he stalked away and said, “You all do it. I need to take a walk.”

Kaylee moved to follow him and bring him back, but Simon kept a firm hold on her hand. “Let’s just give him some time,” he said quietly, and then wrapping an arm around her shoulders, walked her back towards Millie’s.

***

The houses that had been built on Harvest, by the men of Serenity, were some of the finest for many miles. Built with care and designed to withstand the elements and a growing family, each house was large and solid, while also being warm and inviting. No room lacked for light or air as windows dotted the exterior of the house while inside, each living area gave way to the next creating a flow and a comfortableness that everyone, habitant and guest alike, reveled in.

Millie’s house was the biggest and Simon remembered with fondness the arguments that had arisen over the size and number of the rooms, number of floors, size of the kitchen … every detail of the Thompson home had been considered with her children, and the many others she planned to shelter, in mind.

But they had also considered Millie’s other talent, midwifery. As a result, and with great input from Simon, they had built onto the back of the house extra rooms with extra light, to act as birthing centers and a makeshift clinic for any and all who traveled this way. When Simon was on Harvest, which had been roughly twice a year in the past four years, he would set up shop in the clinic, seeing people from the surrounding area, diagnosing maladies and prescribing medications. And he left being sure Millie was again restocked with all the medications and supplies she could ever need. She always thanked him profusely and fawned over him, bragging about his talents to any and all who would listen. Simon simply smiled and told her he was only happy to help.

And truthfully, he enjoyed it. He liked being useful and the people he saw were always so grateful for his help. They would of course try to pay him, normally with food and he would accept the barest minimum, giving the stuffs to Millie to help feed her brood and the crew of Serenity while they were land side. Unless of course, he was lucky enough to be offered strawberries; then, he kept them just for his wife.

He watched Kaylee now from the corner of his eye, as she moved quietly about the room they had selected for River. It was in the suite of room’s that served as the clinic, and it had the nicest bed, the largest windows, plus a great view of the yard beyond where Simon could see his children playing with the others. So far, they had unloaded his sister’s things in silence, Simon’s nervousness still reeking havoc with his system. His stomach churned uncomfortably as he thought of what River and Millie must be discussing. He hoped River was at least being civil, her past few days on board barely meeting that requirement …

Starting slightly, he looked over his shoulder as he felt a gentle hand rest there. Smiling wearily as he looked into Kaylee’s concerned features, he turned and took her hand, kissing it gently. “You okay?” she asked him, moving her hand back up to his cheek.

Shrugging, Simon sighed and sank to the bed, moving River’s now empty suitcase to the floor. “Honestly, I have no idea,” he admitted ruefully, chuckling at how completely adrift he felt.

Sitting beside him, Kaylee took his hand in hers and forced his blue eyes to lock on her green ones. “Tell me.”

Simon didn’t know what to say. There was so much he felt, bubbling under the surface, roiling and careening around his head that he thought at one moment he might burst, only to be convinced that he would die of bitterness and hurt the next. Rubbing his thumb absently along the back of her hand, he stared at their intertwined fingers as he said, “Kaylee, there’s just … I don’t even know how to put it into words.”

Reaching out, Kaylee placed a finger under his chin and brought his eyes back up to her face. The look of determination and concern he saw there brought the ghost of a smile to his lips, and his heart beat a bit more rapidly as she told him, “Try.”

Sighing again, Simon knew it was only fair. He had been a reckless ball of energy the past few weeks. And now, now that they were here, where all of them could start to move on and heal, it was only fair that Simon be honest with his wife about his feelings – all of them. She had been so patient up until now, he knew he owed her.

Starting slowly, he said, “When River was a girl, she never played house. Did I ever tell you that?” he asked, gazing back into Kaylee’s big eyes. With a slight shake of the head, Simon nodded once and then said, “No, I guess not. Why would I?” Pausing for a moment, his mind drifted back to those times, when they had both been children, playing games and getting into trouble. Those were good memories.

“Whenever her friends, and she didn’t have many, whenever they would want to play house, she’d tell them no, she didn’t need to play at something that obviously had no room for improvisation.” Simon smiled at the memory, remembering when, at the age of six his sister had come storming home from the neighbors, angry tears in her eyes. Pouting, she’d marched right into his room and sat on his bed, waiting while he finished his latest math problem. When he’d finally turned to her and seen her pain, he’d rushed to her side and listened as she recounted the whole tale of how mean and stupid those girls were.

“She always lived in these worlds of make believe and fantasy, where reality never even played a part. If they were going to play house, she thought they should live on a floating island in the sky and parasail to work each day,” he said, again smiling. But then sadness once again placed a cold hand over his heart. “She never once, not once when we were growing up, mentioned being a mother.” Blinking back quickly forming tears, he forged ahead. “She had so little use for our own mother. They just didn’t see eye to eye, they were too different. I mean, sure our mother loved River because she was her daughter and that’s what you were supposed to do, but …” Simon trailed off, remembering the hurt looks and angry dinners he’d had to sit through after the two women of the family had had a particularly violent row. He’d never eaten much on those nights.

“By the time I realized she was developing skills as a Reader, I was immersed in medical school. When I’d manage to get home on the weekends or a weeknight for dinner, she was always more withdrawn than before. Of course, I’d ask my parents and they’d say she was fine, but I knew. Something was wrong.” Simon’s voice trailed off as he realized it was just another example of how he had failed his sister. Maybe if he’d gotten her to talk to him then, she never would have gone to that awful place, maybe … Shaking his head, he knew it wasn’t healthy to dwell on ‘maybe’s.

Bringing his eyes back up to Kaylee’s face, he saw that she was holding in tears as he shared his memories. He’d never spoken so much about his childhood before – he’d never had cause, but it seemed important now, all of the sudden, as if people should know the type of woman River was, so they could understand just how deeply she felt this loss.

“I think it was her psychic ability that finally pushed both my parents over the edge, but mother most of all.” Simon shuddered to think of the chilliness that had permeated his house in those few weeks before River had gone. He hadn’t been there a lot, but when he had … “Mother couldn’t accept that River was different. She thought her daughter was a freak, some kind of mutant. She never said it to River, never admitted it out loud, but she didn’t have to for River to know.”

Simon cleared his throat as a lump rose there and he stood, trying to gain distance from these more painful memories. Standing in front of the room’s large window, he watched with a tainted happiness as his son and daughter darted and weaved around the large yard, playing some game that was totally lost on him. Crossing his arms over his chest, he kept his eyes on the scene outside the window as he said quietly, “Part of me always thought that when River decided she wanted to be a mother, she wanted it so she could make it right. So she could be sure that her child never felt the shame or sadness or hate that she’d felt from our mother. She just wanted to be able to protect something, someone, who was fragile like she’d once been.” Sighing heavily, he finished quietly, “I guess I failed her then, just like I failed her now.”

Kaylee rose at his words and came up to his side, forcing him to again face her with a tug on his arm. “Simon Tam, I don’t wanna hear that. None of this is your fault.” Kaylee laid a hand to his cheek even as his first tears fell, and she felt her own eyes well with sadness. Simon had been so brave in the last few weeks, even performing the c-section to take River’s baby without shedding one tear. And Kaylee knew it was killing him. “Your sister knows that you love her and always have and you’ve always done right by her. Sometimes, a thing ain’t meant to be, no matter how much we want it.”

Simon knew she was right, but that didn’t make his pain or his self-loathing any less severe. “Yes, but why did this have to happen to River?” he begged, finally meeting her gaze. “She’s suffered so much already. Why? Why did she have to suffer this too?”

He was crying now and he hated it, hated that he couldn’t be strong for his sister, his wife, his family – he should be strong, stalwart, that was his job as the patriarch, but he didn’t have it in him. His heart broke when he thought of his sister, staring at nothing with dead eyes, still cradling her now empty womb.

“I should have been able to help her,” he bit out fiercely, his tears turning hot with rage. “I’m supposed to be some brilliant surgeon. I should have known what to do.”

His fists curled at his sides as his anger rose, replacing the sadness he felt. Kaylee reached and took his hands in hers, pulling him close. “You did everything you could, Simon. This ain’t your fault.” Without another word, Kaylee encircled him in an embrace. Simon stiffened at her touch at first, not certain he deserved to be comforted. But as he felt her press her cheek to his chest, trying to soothe him, he knew he’d be powerless to fight her.

Holding her back, Simon buried his head in her hair and cried, for the first time since everything had gone some unbelievably wrong and hoped that there would come a day soon when he’d be able to believe Kaylee’s words. And know that his sister would again be all right.

***

Simon and Kaylee were heading for the Everetts when Zoe intercepted them, coming from the house with Ellie at her heels. As the girl, now much taller and older walked at Zoe’s side, she caught sight of Kaylee and ran at full speed to greet her friend. Wrapping her arms around Kaylee’s waist, she buried her head in her stomach and exclaimed, “Oh, Miss Kaylee, I’m so glad to see you!”

Hugging the child back, Kaylee smiled to Simon as she knelt to meet her enthusiastic gaze. “It’s good to see you too, sweetie. Have you been behavin’?”

Throwing a glance back to Zoe, the older woman cocked her eyebrow and sheepishly Ellie turned back to meet Kaylee’s amused grin. “Kinda,” she said quietly.

Chuckling at her, Kaylee wrapped her into hug, as Zoe and Simon looked on. As the two girls started in on another topic of discussion, Zoe motioned to the doctor and the two of them stepped a few paces away.

“Simon, I was wondering if might be able to ask you for a favor,” Zoe said quietly, her eyes never leaving Ellie for more than a second at a time.

Noting her serious tone, Simon answered her, “Of course, Zoe. Anything, you know that.”

Nodding once, Zoe said, “It’s just that, I know Millie’d never ask, especially not now, with everything you and River and Kaylee have been through, but …” Zoe let the thought remain unfinished and Simon’s concern grew. Even for the stoic ex-soldier, this was a new level of guarded.

“What’s wrong?”

Glancing back to him with sad eyes, she told him quietly, “It’s Elijah.”

***

Ten minutes later, Simon was in Elijah’s darkened room, examining the boy. While it had been almost four years since Simon had met him, he hadn’t grown much in that time, his illness stunting his growth and keeping him in doors, his pale skin an indicator that he often did not see the sun.

As Simon listed to his heartbeat and his lungs, his frown deepened. Zoe was in the room with him, as was Cadie, much to the doctor’s surprise. She’d been there when they’d entered, sitting at the foot of Elijah’s bed, watching him as he slept, his breathing laborious. She’d gazed at them both with wide eyes as they had entered. When Simon had greeted the girl, she had nodded once and then returned her gaze to her adopted brother’s sleeping form.

She had not moved since Simon had been there, but now, as the doctor replaced his stethoscope into his bag and reached for some medication, she finally said, in a quiet voice, “Help him.”

Simon’s eyes shot back to her pained face, and his heart thudded against his rib cage. The hurt in her eyes, the fear reminded him so much of River. He knew that Cadie was a reader, that she felt things more intensely than anyone, except maybe his sister. So he knew, she realized just how bad off the boy was, and Simon knew, she could readily understand his concern that despite her plea, it was a request he would not be able to fulfill.

Reaching out a hand, he patted her small one gently and smiled at her. “I’m going to try, Cadie. Really.”

She nodded once, holding his gaze with those intense blue eyes and then slowly, turned back to watch Elijah.

Again reaching for his medical bag, Simon was interrupted by another familiar voice. “Hey there, doc. I hope you din’t come all this way just for me.”

Turning a grin to the boy, Simon scooted forward a bit, and rested a light hand against his shoulder. “I hate to tell you, son,” Simon told him, giving him a look of mock annoyance. “But the ‘verse does not revolve around you.”

Elijah chuckled, the sound and movement in his lungs causing a cough to rise to his mouth. With jerking fits, he barked violently for a few moments, bringing a hand to his mouth. When he’d finally settled back, his chest still heaving from the exertion, Simon saw the blood on his hand. “Aw, that’s nothin’ doc,” he said shakily, trying to hide his fear.

Cadie had stayed by the boy’s side as he’d had his fit, rubbing his back steadily. As soon as he’d lied back down, she had left the room, only to return a moment later with a glass of water and a wet rag. Giving Elijah the water she rounded the bed and sat at his side, silently wiping his hand of the blood and phlegm there.

Simon watched her curiously. His expression must have translated, because Elijah said huskily, “We’ve got an understanding, Cadie and me. She’s the closest thing to a real sister I’ve ever had.” Looking to the girl, she smiled at him, and nodded. Continuing he said, “I think it’s ‘cause we’re both pretty quiet.”

Simon nodded once and then tore his eyes away from the little girl’s form – she reminded him so much of his sister at that age … Glancing back to Zoe, the woman had not moved since they’d entered the room. Nodding once, Simon again looked back to his patient and asked quietly, “How long have you been feeling like this, Elijah?”

Shrugging the boy said, “I don’ know. I guess about a month now. I’ve just been real tired and then it got real hard to breathe, so I started not gettin’ outta bed.”

Placing another hand to his shoulder, Simon forced the boy to meet his gaze. “Listen to me, I’m here now and I’m going to be here for a while. We’ll figure this out. You’re going to get better, I promise.”

Elijah nodded once and smiled at him. Reaching for his hand, he squeezed it and whispered, “Thanks, doc.”

Smiling back to the boy, Simon withdrew a syringe from his bag and said, “First thing I want you to do is get some rest. Some uninterrupted, non-coughing rest. I’m going to give you something to help you sleep and it’ll probably knock you out for about half a day. Is that all right?” Simon asked, waiting for the boy’s apprehension to surface and smiling slightly when it didn’t.

“Are you kiddin’?” the young man asked excitedly. “I ain’t had twelve hours of sleep in forever. Load me up, doc,” he told him, shoving his arm into Simon’s face.

“All right, easy there,” Simon murmured. Placing the needle against the inside of his elbow, Simon found a vein and pushed the medication into his system. Within minutes Elijah’s big, tired eyes had fluttered closed and he was finally resting comfortably.

Collecting his things, Simon was about to turn and address Zoe, when Cadie appeared before him. Her blue eyes meeting his own, Simon held the seven-year-old’s gaze as she studied him intently. Finally, placing a small hand to his cheek, she said, “Sorry for mama.”

Blinking quickly, Simon watched dumbfounded as she turned from him, approached Elijah to place a kiss to his cheek and then silently left the room.

Looking between the door and the doctor, Zoe finally asked quietly, “You all right there, Simon?”

He wasn’t sure, truthfully. He had heard the stories from both his sister and Jayne of what Cadie had said and shown them all those years ago when he’d recovered his memory. At first, all of them had been confused when Cadie had simply taken to calling River and Jayne ‘mama’ and ‘dada,’ but then the gifted little girl had managed to show his sister a vision of her future, a future in which she was a parent, cradling a child of her very own. That little glimpse had ended the debate – obviously Cadie had been referencing something only she could see. But now, in light of all that had happened, Simon wondered just what exactly was going on and if Cadie knew anything that might be able to help his sister now.

Rising slowly, he grabbed his medical bag and shook the thought away. Looking to Zoe, he answered, “I’m fine. But I do need to see Millie. We need to fill her in on Elijah’s condition.”

***

Jayne had walked for a good while and he still didn’t feel any better, but now instead of just being angry and hurting, he was sweaty and hot. Ai ya, if the days on Harvest weren’t some of the hottest he’d ever experienced. Resting for a moment in the shade of a tree, he leaned against the rough bark and laid his head back, closing his eyes. Immediately, he realized his mistake, as River’s motionless form and dead eyes swam in front of his face. He couldn’t take seeing her like that, lifeless, that wasn’t his wife. She had always lit up any room like a firecracker and it pained Jayne, almost more than the loss of their baby, that the light in her had been dimmed.

Sighing heavily, he opened his eyes and decided that he’d probably done enough sulking. Turning to head back towards Millie’s, he stopped short as Cadie’s wide, expectant blue eyes regarded him from behind her veil of dark hair. Jumping back slightly, he smiled wide at her as he scooped down to pick her up into his arms. “Well, how’re you, lil’ one?” he asked, as he started walking with her back to Millie’s. “You’ve near doubled in size since last time I saw you.”

She grinned happily at him, quiet as always, but much more open and carefree from when Jayne had first met her as a scared three-year-old. Now, at the age of seven, she had learned to love and trust others and it showed in the way her eyes danced, the way she smiled big. And it made Jayne feel all sorts of proud for reasons he couldn’t even begin to comprehend.

Sighing, she leaned her head against his shoulder and said, “Dada.”

Jayne stopped short, not caring as the afternoon sun beat hard and hot against his back. Looking at her, their blue eyes met and he asked haltingly, “What’da ya say?”

Lifting up her head, she frowned at him and simply restated, “Dada.”

Jayne inhaled sharply thinking back to all those years ago when Cadie had first started calling him dada and River mama. River had wanted to adopt the little girl at the time, convinced that she needed them as parents. But then, when Cadie had shown River – something, Jayne still wasn’t sure what – she had amended that wish to having a child of her own, a gift she was certain she would receive some day … because of what the girl he was now carrying had shown her.

“Hey now,” Jayne said harshly, setting her down on the ground, and kneeling in front of her. “That ain’t a word I want ya usin’ ‘round me, and I don’t want you callin’ River mama either. Dong ma?” She continued to frown at him, her eyes narrowing into slits as she tried to understand his anger and his hurt.

Cadie had felt his pain and River’s of course. She had felt it since the ship had broken atmo. It was like a knife, searing into her gut and Cadie had physically doubled over at the first hit of it. But slowly, and using the techniques River had taught her with such care, she had managed to block some of it out, managed to walk upright again and breathe deep, even play, without that shooting pain traveling straight through her heart and to her spine. It was one of the reasons why she spent so much time with Elijah – he was quiet and his mind was often uncluttered, giving Cadie time to center herself and think.

She still didn’t understand a lot of things, her abilities least of all. She remembered with startling clarity everything, every image, every thought, every emotion and her images, thoughts and emotions of when she’d been with Jayne and River burned brightly in her mind, causing all other memories to fade in comparison. The mere thought of both of them brought a smile to her face which was why, now, as Jayne scowled at her so fiercely and River’s pain called out to her like a siren song, she felt so conflicted. She loved these two people more than just about anyone else in the ‘verse and while she knew why they were sad, she didn’t understand why Jayne was so intent on continuing that hurt – on denying both he and River of what they wanted – a child.

“But,” she said quietly, her voice still unsteady. “But, you’re dada and River’s mama.”

Grabbing her roughly by the shoulders, she saw Jayne’s eyes burn with anger as he growled, “I done tol’ ya, don’t be callin’ us that.”

Breaking out of his grasp, Cadie felt her eyes well with tears and turning, she ran from him, sprinting back home and racing to her bedroom. Slamming the door behind her, she sank onto her bed, her face buried in her pillow as more tears came. She didn’t want Jayne to be so mad with her, but she couldn’t stop thinking of them as her mom and dad. It didn’t make sense to her. But now, a horrible fear gripped her heart – maybe they didn’t love her. Maybe the thought of a new baby had erased the love they’d felt for her for all these years and she had truly lost them for good.

With renewed passion, Cadie continued to cry, her tears wetting her pillow until she finally sobbed herself to sleep.

***

“River, do you want to talk, sweetie?”

Millie watched the woman as she lay still, resolute. She had been in pretty much the same position, her eyes staring straight ahead, unblinking, her body rigid, since Millie had helped her into the room. She had examined her first marveling at the work Simon had been able to do on that tiny ship in that tiny infirmary. River was well on her way to healing, physically at least, and her brother’s skill had made that possible.

But Millie knew, from years of experience, that River’s real pain was just beginning. Once the initial shock and pain of the loss wore off all the other emotions associated with grief: anger, denial, guilt, would come rushing in and Millie feared that for River, a girl with an already overdeveloped talent for internalizing pain, it could be devastating.

Sighing, Millie rose and crossed the room to stare out the window, watching as the sun started to dip in the sky. Speaking quietly, she said, “I ‘member when my husband and I first got hitched. Oh, it was such a happy time.” Her voice took on a wistful quality even as her mind circled back to all those years ago. “We found the land on Beaumonde and started building the house, making it real big so we could fill it with lil’ ones.” Blinking back tears that always came whenever she thought of her husband, Millie told her patient, “But then we tried to have one and it didn’t work. I couldn’t get pregnant. And I remembered thinking at the time, how silly, a woman who can’t get pregnant.” Turning away from the window, Millie looked back to River, noticing the girl still had not moved. “But I couldn’t. Finally went to see a real fancy doc and he told me what I knew perfectly well. I wasn’t ever gonna have a baby of my own.”

River heard Millie as she spoke, her words entering her mind and imprinting there long enough for River to comprehend. She had heard every word from every one since she’d lost her baby. She’d simply chosen to stay within herself, pulling her mind and spirit and heart into that dark corner she had constructed years ago to shield herself from pain. It had been dusty and dank from disuse, but with a practiced ease she had simply brushed those cobwebs away and holed up in it again. And she was more than content to stay there for however long was necessary.

Millie knew that she wasn’t going to get anywhere with River today – the girl had made that plain. Crossing the room again, she patted her hand gently as she said, “You just get some rest, and I’ll send that handsome husband of yours down in a bit with some food. All right?” She hadn’t expected an answer and so she turned to go, meeting Simon and Zoe in the doorway.

Glancing over her shoulder, Simon took in his sister’s dazed form and asked quietly, “How is she?”

Millie followed his gaze and then, sighing, turned and ushered both of them into the hallway. Shutting River’s door, she told him, “Fine, physically. You did a right fine job, Simon. You should be very proud.”

Nodding succinctly at the compliment, Simon pressed on. “Yes, but how is she?”

Placing a light hand on his shoulder, she met his gaze and said quietly, “Look, Simon, I know you brought her here to help her heal and she will. But it’s gonna take time, a lot of time. And you’re gonna have to be patient.”

Simon knew of course that she was right. As a doctor, he knew how long and drawn-out the healing process could be, regardless of the physical wound and for River, this had long ago stopped being about the physical and turned solely into the emotional pain she was having to deal with. “Of course, Millie,” he said quietly, casting his eyes to the floor to hide his shame. “I’m sorry to push, I’m just worried about her.”

“I know that, boy,” Millie chided him. “And what, you think, I ain’t?”

Simon smiled slightly and brought his gaze back to meet Millie’s. She really was a good person and Simon again marveled at how lucky his family had been, to have met and befriended so many kind-hearted people in a ‘verse so big.

“Now, if’n you wanna go sit with her, I think that’d be fine, just don’t push her into talkin’. She’ll start yappin’ when she’s good an’ ready.” With that final instruction, Millie turned to go, but Simon called her back.

“Actually, Millie, there is something I need to discuss with you.”

Looking back at him, she noted the serious expression clouding his features and turned back quickly. “What? What is it?”

Zoe reached out a steadying hand to her friend, and said quietly, “Now, just calm down, Mill. No need to go workin’ yerself up ‘fore you know why.”

Looking between Zoe and the doctor, Millie knew it would be bad. “Just tell me straight.”

Swallowing, Simon told her, “It’s Elijah. Zoe asked me to examine him earlier today.”

Millie shot the other woman a mean look and pulled away from her touch. “I tol’ you I din’t want to impose,” she bit out, still glaring.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Zoe returned the look. “And I tol’ you, I would. So I did.”

Stepping between them, Simon addressed Millie as he said, “Really, Millie, it’s fine. I’m always more than happy to help you with Elijah or any of the children, you know that.” She nodded once and he continued. “Elijah has a pretty severe bout of pneumonia. Do you know how long he’s had it?”

Her eyes instantly filling with tears, Millie wiped them away quickly as she answered roughly, “I don’t know, prolly goin’ on a month now.” Looking back to Simon, she smiled weakly and said, “If’n it had gone on much longer, I was gonna wave you.” Pausing again, she asked intently, “Is he gonna be okay?”

Simon exchanged a worried glance with Zoe and then turned back to Millie who was, for all intents and purposes, the boy’s mother. “I really don’t know Millie. He needs treatment and rest and medication. Some of which, I don’t have. I’m going to monitor him very closely over the next few days, see if his condition improves with some of the meds I’ve brought, but if not …” Simon could not finish the statement, especially as he watched Millie’s eyes again fill and cry silent tears.

Zoe moved towards the woman and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Now, come on Millie, that boy’s survived more than most kids his age and he’s lived to tell the tale. And now, Simon’s here, everything’s going to be right and shiny.”

Nodding, Millie reached up again and squeezed Simon’s hand, “Thank you, doc. For anything you can do, for anything you’ve done. It means the world to me.”

Simon smiled at her again, but before he could offer her more reassurances, she fixed him with one of her sturdy smiles and said, “All right then. I think it’s time to start supper.” Turning abruptly she strode away, and Simon looked to Zoe. Shrugging slightly, she said, “She can be very stoic when she wants to be.”

Simon smirked at her as the other woman moved to follow. And then he was alone, standing awkwardly in front of his sister’s closed door. He hadn’t spoken to her, not since he’d had to give her the bad news. He didn’t relish the idea of going in there, of seeing her again, but he also didn’t want her to be alone and god only knew where Jayne was. Plus, secretly, he did want to sit with her, because he wanted to make her better. He wanted to think he might have some control over this horrendous situation.

Clinging to that false hope, Simon wrapped lightly on her door and then pushed it open, entering the room.

He was not surprised to see River’s still form. She had again rolled onto her side, her arms worked up under her pillow, her eyes gazing out the window. Simon moved around to sit beside her, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Mei mei?” he asked quietly, only slightly disappointed when she made no move to acknowledge his presence.

Sighing again, Simon turned a bit and followed her gaze, both of them staring at the setting sun.

***

All right. Where are those comments?