BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

TAMSIBLING

A NEW BEGINNING, ch. 11: Ultimatums
Thursday, August 3, 2006

Set four years after my A NEW LIFE series. River asks her friends and family for a huge favor and the request ends up hurting the people she loves the most.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3371    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

A/N: Thanks to all for the great comments as this story as continued.

Thanks again to Leiasky for the beta!

And, because I don't say it often enough, none of these characters are mine (except the OCs) and I write this story and all other fan fics as an homage to the 'verse Joss created and so graciously shared with us.

Don't forget to leave a comment - they make writers happy!

***

A NEW BEGINNING, ch. 11: Ultimatums

***

It took River the better part of a week to gather the courage to address everyone. Finally, one night after dinner, all the adults convened in the Everetts’ living room, Marie having been generous enough to cook them all supper. They had ushered the children outside, telling them to play and have fun, while each of them had taken up seats in the large living room, cups of coffee or tea in their hands. River, Jayne, Kaylee and Simon sat in one corner, all looking more nervous than Mal had ever seen them and he did not relish what he assumed the following conversation would entail.

Glancing around to everyone as they got situated, River looked one final time to her brother, needing his support. Despite his reservations, she knew Simon would back her one hundred percent, because he loved her and protected her, just as he always had. She hated the fact that her need was putting a strain on his relationship with Kaylee, but she hoped that once her sister saw that everything would be fine, she’d be able to relax.

Simon smiled slightly at her, his hand firmly in his wife’s grasp. Returning the grin, River looked back to the others, addressing the room. She felt Jayne’s hand come down and rest against her back as she started to speak and she appreciated the warmth and comfort his touch brought. “Thank you for meeting here. I, we, really appreciate it,” River told them, looking to Simon and then back to the rest.

“What’s this about, lil’ albatross?” Mal asked quietly, leaning back in his chair, his ankle resting on his knee, while his arm rested across the back of Inara’s seat beside him. Her training always dictated that she sat ramrod straight, as she was doing now, her eyes open and searching, her tea cup balanced in her lap.

River swallowed hard and began. “This is about me asking all of you for a favor. I realize that it must seem as if I’m being pathetically ungrateful. You’ve all done so much for me already,” she admitted, letting her eyes rest on Millie. The older woman simply nodded slightly and River continued. “But this is something I couldn’t foresee and now, I need it. In order for me to heal, I need this.”

Leaning forward a bit, Zoe addressed the young girl. “Well, go on an’ tell us then.”

River smiled at the woman and then looked to her brother once more. The love shining in Simon’s eyes for her bolstered her flagging courage and she turned back and said, “I need to see my mother.”

The entire room inhaled collectively, but other than that their reactions were as varied as the winds. Inara simply sipped her tea, her eyes flitting over to Kaylee’s taunt face and then down to her lap. Mal muttered a curse, looking to Jayne and then Simon for some kind of confirmation that this was a bad joke and not getting it, he drank his coffee with a vengeance, burning his tongue in the process. Walt and Marie grasped each other’s hands, looking to each other and silently wondering if they could risk something so dangerous, while Millie cast her eyes to the floor. Zoe shot her gaze over and out the window where she saw the children again at play, her heart welling with fear for them, as the last time the Tam matriarch had been around, they had lost their home. Winnie and Thom simply sat with immovable looks on their faces. Kaylee had already filled them in somewhat and they had already let Simon know their opinion; they loved their daughter, their son-in-law and their grandkids fiercely and they would die to keep any and all of them safe. But this was Simon and Kaylee’s call and if he felt it was safe enough, then they would support it, although they wouldn’t like it.

It was Inara who recovered first. Locking her brown eyes with River’s, she asked gently, “River, sweetie, why? Why do you need to see your mother?”

Sighing, River faced her friend and told her, “She has information. Information I need, Simon needs, to determine exactly what happened.”

Looking up finally, Millie asked, “What da ya mean, what happened? River, baby, you had a miscarriage. It was an accident.”

“That may not necessarily be true,” Simon said, speaking for the first time. Meeting Millie’s shocked gaze, he elaborated, “It was a miscarriage yes, but River doesn’t believe and I’m starting to agree with her, that it wasn’t an accident.”

Again, a collective gasp traveled around the room, followed by a still silence. And this time, Mal spoke first. Looking to Simon with hard eyes, he asked, “Alliance?” As the younger man nodded, Mal muttered a string of violent Chinese curses and then, sitting forward fixed the doctor with a hard glare. “Gorramit Simon, you should have put a stop to this! You should have told her no.”

Her eyes widening, River spoke up, anger in her tone. “I am in the room.”

Mal glanced to her, his features softening just a bit as he said, “Look, Albatross, you know I done feel terrible about what happened, but this is asking for way more than just a favor.” Glancing over to his side where Walt, Marie and Millie sat with stoic faces, he gestured to them and said, “Did you forget that last time we saw your ma these folks lost their homes?” River’s eyes burned with anger at his condescension, but she kept her mouth shut, waiting for him to finish. “Your ma wasn’t exactly in the runnin’ for any awards last time I checked. She can’t be trusted.”

“She couldn’t be then,” River told him, her gaze hard, her voice tight. “She can now. She won’t betray us.”

Shaking his head, Mal sat back and told her, “Sorry, darlin’, but that ain’t gonna cut it. Not this time.”

Looking to Simon with pleading eyes, River hoped he could think of some way to turn the tables on this, some way to convince them. But she could see by the pained look in his eyes that he wasn’t sure how to proceed either. “River, you do understand what you’re asking, don’t you?” Inara asked, again injecting a tone of reason into their hot debate. “You understand the risk?”

Looking to her, her eyes shining with unspent tears, River nodded once and then looked back to Mal. “You’d want to know,” she told him, her eyes burning with pain even as her tears came. “If it had been Inara or Kaylee, you’d want to know. How can you keep the truth from me? It’s not fair!”

Mal was about to retaliate again, saying something he would no doubt regret for years to come when Zoe spoke up in a quiet voice. “River, last time we saw your ma, those kids had to move, leave the only home they’d ever known. You really wanna do that to them again?” Meeting the woman’s gaze, River saw her concern there, not anger or malice, just concern. “You wanna do that to Cadie again?”

Sighing heavily, River allowed her teary eyes to roam the room, taking in each of their faces as she said, “Of course not. And if I thought our mother was capable of hurting any of us, I wouldn’t be pushing this so hard. But I know she won’t. I know she just wants to help.” Reaching up, River took Simon’s hand and squeezed it. “She wants to see us both and I need to see her.”

Silence fell in the room again, and no one was happy about it. Finally after several moments, it was Simon who spoke. “We understand the danger this could place all of you in, regardless of my mother’s motives. There are a lot of things that could happen. That’s why we need all of you on board with this. Unless everyone agrees, we won’t make the call.”

Silence again. Walt spoke for the first time, having collected his thoughts. Addressing Simon, he asked, “Doc, the information you need, your ma’s the only one who’s got it?”

Simon nodded once and watched as the older man met his father-in-law’s gaze. “Whatda ya think of all this?”

Thom’s gaze was conflicted, but as his eyes settled on his daughter’s tear-stained face, he answered, “Winnie and I done told Simon that if he thinks it’s safe enough, we trust ‘im. It’s his call.”

Walt nodded and looked to Marie who had not taken her eyes from River’s pained expression the whole time. Marie felt for the girl, truly. She had come to think of as her own and she’d hated to see her in so much pain, suffering through so much heartache when she didn’t deserve it. And regardless of the risk, she knew that the child deserved to know what exactly had happened to her baby. Marie knew that were their positions reversed, she’d want to know and now was not the time to turn into a hypocrite.

Nodding to her husband, Walt turned back to River and said, “We’ll support you darlin’.”

River smiled at him, as Millie added her support as well. “I understand your need to figure this all out,” she said quietly, not raising her eyes from the floor. “Besides, I don’t believe you’d willingly risk our lives or the lives of them kids out there. What happened before you couldn’t have prepared for. And if you believe it’s safe now, I’ll trust you.”

River’s smile grew wider and she turned a hopeful face up to Simon. His own expression unreadable, he felt his legs shaking a bit, and he sank onto the chair next to Kaylee, her eyes staring at the dark and now cold tea in the mug in her hand. Simon wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her hair as Zoe spoke up.

“All right, lil’ one,” she said with a sigh. “I guess I trusted you this far, better keep trustin’ ya now.”

And with that, it was up to Mal and Inara. River turned her eyes back to them both and saw their varying expressions. While Mal’s anger and fear were dancing across his face, Inara’s features were as refined as always, just a bit of paleness to her cheeks the only indication that anything was wrong. Sitting forward, Mal placed his hand over hers and she met his gaze. Leaning over, she whispered in his ear, “You know she’s right. If it was me, there’d be nothing in the ‘verse to stop you from finding out the truth.”

He grimaced at her statement, hating the fact that she knew him so well and simultaneously loving her for it. Pressing a kiss to her cheek, he turned back to River and leveled a finger at her. “This goes south, I reserve the right to say I-told-you-so.”

With a little squeal of delight, River bounded out of her chair and threw her arms around Mal’s neck. “Thank you, captain daddy,” she said, hugging him fiercely. When she had finally pulled away, Mal addressed Simon and asked, “So, when’s your ma getting here?”

“No!”

It was a shout that came from the corridor, and all the eyes in the room turned to find the voice’s owner. With a curious gaze that gave way to recognition, Simon watched as his four year old emerged from the shadows, Cadie at her back. With giant tears in her eyes, Rylee’s eyes wandered the room, looking at all of them in disbelief, before finally coming to settle on River. Setting her jaw, Rylee balled her little fists at her sides and said again, “No.”

Kaylee moved to her daughter’s side in an instant, her own tear-filled eyes meeting her daughter’s. Placing her hands on her shoulders and kneeling in front of her, she asked, “What is it, baby? What’s wrong?”

Ignoring her mother, Rylee stepped out of her touch and moved to stand in front of River whose eyes had gone wide with shock. “You can’t do this. You can’t bring her here.”

Taking her niece’s hands in her own, River looked to Kaylee first, noting the pained expression still playing across her features and then turned to regard Simon, seeing confusion all over his face. Looking back to the little girl before her, River told her, “Rylee, it’s going to be all right. She’s your grandmother. She wants to meet you.”

Backing out of her grasp, Rylee kept shaking her head, murmuring something none of them could hear. Cadie took a step toward her, ready to come to her aid, but Rylee shot her friend a hard look and then, as more of her tears fell, she circled the room, and finally shouted, “No!” With that wail, she bolted from the room, breezing past Kaylee and Cadie and leaving twelve dumbfounded adults in her wake.

River moved to go after her, but Simon put a hand on her arm. He moved across the room to his wife, who was crying now, her head in her hands. Helping her stand, he knew Kaylee would want to go and find their daughter, figure out what was wrong, so he was surprised, when she pulled away from his grasp. Looking to him with sadness and anger, she whispered, “She’s right.”

Simon’s shock barely registered, when Kaylee looked over his shoulder at River. “She’s right,” she repeated, her voice louder if not any steadier. “We shouldn’t do this. It’s too risky.”

And with that, Kaylee too ran from the room, following the path her daughter had taken. Simon stood there for a moment, frozen in shock, before finally casting a distraught gaze to his sister. She met his look with tear-filled eyes and then nodded once. With that approval, Simon took off after his wife and daughter.

The room was again deadly silent, until finally, everyone started to go on their way. As some of the adults started to disperse, quiet conversations happening between them, Cadie moved over to stand in front of River and took her hands. The woman had laid her head against Jayne’s shoulder, despair again welling in her. At Cadie’s light touch, she shifted her eyes to focus on the girl and said, “Yes, baby? What is it?”

Swallowing hard, Cadie knew this wasn’t necessarily the right time, but they needed to start dealing eventually. “I need to talk to you about Rylee,” she said guardedly, glancing over her shoulder to be sure no one would hear. Looking back to River’s concerned eyes, Cadie took one more step forward and said quietly, “She’s a reader.”

***

Simon ran out into the approaching night his eyes canvassing the landscape for his wife and daughter. He saw the children, oblivious, playing their game and then turned his attention back to the surrounding yard. Just as he made out Kaylee’s retreating form, he felt a hand on his arm and looked down to see Daniel’s concerned blue eyes staring up at him.

“What’s going on, dad?” his son asked concernedly, glancing off in the direction where Kaylee was slowing, her hands on her hips as she bent over to catch her breath after running so hard. “I saw Rylee come out crying and then mama. What happened?”

Turning to his son, Simon placed his hands on his little shoulders and knelt in front of him. “Daniel, did you see which way your sister went?” The boy nodded and Simon let out a sigh of relief. “Where?” Daniel pointed behind him, toward their grandparents’ house in the distance. Looking back over his shoulder, Simon saw Kaylee and knew he had to get to her. Again regarding his son, he said, “I need you to do me a favor. Can you go find Rylee and stay with her? I need to be sure your mom’s all right before I come and talk with her.”

Daniel nodded, his eyes still wide with concern, but now also filled with determination to protect his little sister. He always had, and Simon knew he always would – he and his son really weren’t that different. Squeezing his shoulder, Simon said, “Thank you,” before turning away from his little boy and jogging off towards Kaylee.

He found her sitting with her back to a tree, no doubt trying to hide from him. He knew that she had probably come running out of the house uncertain as to where their daughter had gone and, consumed with her own fear, just blindly taken off in any direction to get away.

Rounding on her, her tear-filled eyes darted to him and she moved to sit up, trying to stand. Simon placed a hand on her shoulder to keep her from rising and she turned large, green eyes to him. “I have to find Rylee. I’m guessin’ she went back to mom and daddy’s.” He knew it was an excuse to put some distance between them and he couldn’t let it happen.

Kneeling in front of her, Simon took her face in his hands and said soothingly, “Shh, Kaylee, it’s all right. Daniel’s with her.”

Releasing an audible sigh and relaxing against the tree, Kaylee again turned her gaze away from him. Refusing to look at him, she continued to cry, her shoulders heaving with heavy sobs.

As Simon caressed her face, he asked quietly, “Tell me, Kaylee, please.”

“She can’t ask us to do this.” She said it so quietly, her voice so broken by her tears that Simon had a hard time even making out the statement. Putting two and two together, he prodded her, “River? River can’t ask us to do this.”

Finally meeting his gaze, he saw that her eyes were pleading with him again, begging him silently to tell his sister no and keep her and their children safe. “It’s too dangerous, Simon. And you know it. I know you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be so unsure either.”

Simon grimaced, realizing his wife knew him better than he thought. He did think it was too dangerous, in fact, he knew it was, but he could not convince River of that and he could not deter her from finding out the truth. Plus, a little part of him wanted to know the truth as well – needed to know, just as badly as she did.

“You’re right,” he admitted, sitting in front of her and taking her hands in his. Kissing them gently, she again lifted her gaze to meet his face and waited for him to continue. “I do know it’s dangerous. Seeing my mother, on that wave screen ….” He let the statement die trying to bury the feelings that her image had aroused in him: fear, followed closely by dread, tinged with anger, none of it pleasant. “But Kaylee, River deserves to know the truth, and –“ He faltered again, uncertain of whether or not he should tell her this, he knew it would make him part of the problem in her eyes, not the solution. Forging ahead, he finished, “And I want to know too.”

Kaylee’s eyes widened again, and more tears spilled down her face. Simon reached for her again, but she pulled away, scrambling to get up quickly, her entire body heaving with frustration, anger and fear. “If you do this, we ain’t gonna be here,” she warned him, her voice taking on a deadly quality. As Simon’s eyes widened with shock, she forged ahead, knowing she was quickly losing her nerve. “I’m taking the kids and going to the other side of the planet, if you invite that woman here. If you won’t keep our family safe, than I will.” With that scathing statement, Kaylee turned and walked away from him, heading back towards the house.

Simon, completely at a loss, rested his head in his hands wondering why all of this had to be so difficult and why his family had to continue to suffer.

***

Daniel raced back to his grandparents’ house, taking the steps up the porch two at a time and basically hurtling himself up the stairs. He’d seen the distress on his sister’s face when she’d come bolting out the door of the Everetts’ and he hadn’t liked it. But couple it with his mother’s reaction to whatever the adults had been discussing and Daniel knew something bad was up.

Reaching Rylee’s room, Daniel slowed, his hand on the jamb, as he took in the sight before him. Rylee had thrown herself, face down on her bed and he could tell that she was sobbing, even as her crying was muffled by her face buried in the sheets. Walking towards her, Daniel climbed up next to her and placed a gentle hand on her back.

Turning her tear-streaked face towards him, she sniffled, “What?”

“You okay?” he asked her, rubbing her back as he had after her nightmare.

Shaking her head, she was unable to speak as more tears came. Daniel stayed with her, sitting quietly, waiting for her to tell him what was happening. He knew she would, the two of them did not keep secrets from each other. Plus on a ship the size of Serenity, it was pretty much impossible anyway.

Once she had again managed to stymie her crying, she brought teary eyes to his face and asked haltingly, “Danny, you love me, right?”

Surprised she had to ask, he nodded and said, “Well, of course I do. You’re my sister, ain’t you?”

“Aren’t I,” she corrected him, getting a smile from him. The two of them often corrected the other’s grammar, a habit they had learned from their father. “And I know, you’re my brother and I know I annoy you, but you love me anyway, right?”

Frowning at her, Daniel still didn’t see how any of that, the annoying, bratty stuff she did, would change his feelings for her. “Well, yeah, dummy. Of course I love you. You’re my sister, you’re supposed to annoy me. At least that’s what aunt River says.”

“Yup, that’s right.”

Their aunt’s voice, coming from the doorway startled them both and Daniel turned to regard her. He hadn’t seen his aunt up and about for a while, except for that night at dinner. Running to her, he embraced her tightly around the waist, looking up at her. “You feeling better?”

She smiled at him, that warm smile that she had always shared with him, even when he was a baby and she hugged him back. “Yes, I am.” Looking over him to Rylee, she watched as her niece wiped her eyes and sat up, biting her lip to stop crying but having no luck. Concern welling in her chest for the little girl, especially after Cadie’s admission earlier that night almost overwhelmed her.

Looking back to Daniel’s innocent face, River could not help but smile at his resemblance to her brother. He was truly a mini-version of Simon with the dark hair, intense blue eyes, pale skin, and of course, brains. With just a fleeting thought, River glanced back to Rylee and realized that the girl was the carbon copy of her, dark hair and eyes, an overabundance of brains and now, it appeared, her ability to read.

“Daniel, sweetie, I need to talk to you sister for a bit. Can you leave us alone?”

Doubt clouded Daniel’s features, and curling his lip, he looked back to his still shaken sister and then to his aunt. “I don’t know,” he told her, obviously conflicted. “Dad said I should stay with her until he and mama came back.”

River smiled, loving the fact that besides Simon’s looks and brains he had inherited an innate sense to protect his little sister. She had never before thought it to be genetic, but now, she was pretty much convinced. “I want him to stay,” Rylee piped up from behind them.

River nodded and taking his hand in hers, led them both back to the bed. Daniel scrambled back up, sitting next to his sister, his hand over hers, his eyes glued to her face still contorted with fear. River watched the interplay between them for a minute and took an even longer moment to feel the emotional back and forth in Rylee’s mind. Since Cadie’s admission, just minutes before, River had concentrated hard on her niece, looking for and finding her through the bond they shared and through Rylee’s burgeoning abilities. River felt shame that she had missed the obvious signs, that so wrapped up in her own life and her own grief, she had missed the fact that her niece was going through something so difficult and River, the one person who could help her, had abandoned her.

Rylee snapped her eyes to her aunt’s concerned face and said quietly, “You were hurtin’.”

Daniel threw his aunt a confused look and then looked back to his sister. “What? Ry, she didn’t say nothing.”

“Anything,” Rylee said automatically, avoiding the urge to roll her eyes in her brother’s direction. “I know, but she didn’t need to say anything. I understood her anyway.”

River turned a small smile to the girl and noted that her anxiety was lessening just a bit. Reaching out, River cupped her chin in her hand and said, “I know it’s really confusing and kind of scary, but I can help. Will you let me?”

Rylee hesitated for only a moment, and then nodded. And again, Daniel’s eyes darted between the two of them, his confusion on the rise. “What’s going on?”

“That’s what I’d like to know.”

Now all three of them turned to regard Simon’s tense form in the doorway, and Daniel again ran to greet their visitor. Tugging on his father’s arm, he waited until the man had knelt down so that he could cup his hand by his mouth and whisper, “I think they’ve gone a little crazy. Must be a girl thing.”

Smiling despite his foul mood, Simon kissed his son on the cheek, and whispered back, “Maybe. I better check it out. Why don’t you go back out and play? There’s just a little bit of daylight left.”

Glancing skeptically to his sister, he questioned, “Ry?”

Nodding once, she grinned at him and said, “I’ll be okay. Thanks Danny.”

He grinned at her and then to his aunt and then to his dad, before turning and running back to have some fun.

Entering the room, Simon shut the door behind him and sat on the end of the bed, opposite his sister, closer to his daughter. She turned fearful, brown eyes to him and as Simon reached out a hand to comfort her, she scooted away from him, crawling towards River. As a hurt expression crossed his face, Rylee turned to look at her aunt and said, “He’s mad.”

Nodding, River did not take her eyes off Simon’s face, reading his anger, his despair and his distress with a bit more clarity than her niece. It seemed that although reading Simon had been difficult for her in the month following the miscarriage, the intensity of his emotions now was able to cut through that fog and she could read him as plain as day. And what she saw, she didn’t like.

Pressing a kiss, to Rylee’s hair, she whispered, “I know, baby. But he’s not mad at you. Do you think maybe you should tell him what’s going on?” She gauged the girl’s reaction, noticing as she swallowed hard past her fear and tried to again keep her tears in.

Rylee knew that her father loved her and her brother very much. He had never shown either of them anything but care and love and support since the day they’d both been born. But she also knew, because she’d heard him talking to her mama before, that sometimes he didn’t like the fact at aunt River was a reader. Sometimes it made him sad, and sometimes it made him angry and sometimes it just annoyed him, but very rarely did it ever make him happy and Rylee was afraid that if she told him she was turning into her aunt River, he wouldn’t love her anymore – or at least, not all the time.

Shaking her head, she turned tear-filled eyes to her aunt, who no doubt had just read all of her fears like writing on a wall. “You tell him,” she whispered, her voice contracted by sobs.

Cocking an eyebrow to her, River asked, “You sure?”

Rylee nodded again and River smiled at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. She turned back to regard her brother whose confusion was quickly giving way to overwhelming concern. River reached out and placed a hand to his knee, only furthering to increase his anxiety.

“River? Rylee? What’s going on?” The question was more of a plea as Simon needed to know.

“Calm down, you boob,” River told him, getting a giggle to spill from Rylee’s lips. “Simon, you know that Rylee is very smart,” River began, trying to think of the best way to break this news. She knew that Simon’s reaction could run the gamut from angry to sad to joyful and she was as uncertain as her niece as to which of those they would get.

Simon nodded once, trying not to grow exasperated with his sister – of course he knew that.

“You could almost say, she’s as smart as I am,” River continued, deciding that drawing the parallel might not be such a bad way to go.

As his features again clouded with confusion, Rylee sighed heavily and then looked to her aunt. “Oh for the ‘verse’s sake,” she said huffily. Crawling towards her father, she settled herself into his lap, and placed both of her hands against his cheeks, tilting his head down so she could look in his eyes. “Daddy,” she said quietly. “I’m a reader.”

Shock lit his face, replacing the confusion quickly. His head snapping up, he looked to his sister for confirmation, getting a nod and smile from her. He wasn’t exactly sure what to think. He had never thought that his children would inherit River’s gift. While he’d known that her abilities weren’t all a construct from her time at the Academy, he had thought that the chances of them being passed down were slim to none.

But now, as he gazed into his little one’s beautiful face and saw apprehension lighting her eyes, he realized it didn’t matter if she was a reader or not. He loved his little girl, because she was his and he would love her no matter what. Rylee’s lower lip was trembling as more tears threatened to come. Her abilities were not as advanced as River’s and so all she could read from her father was his confusion and it scared her.

Wrapping his arms around her, Simon buried his face in her hair and whispered, “I love you, sweetheart.” Rylee wrapped her arms around his neck, relieved that he hadn’t rejected her as she had feared he might.

Still holding her tight, Simon looked up to meet River’s gaze and he let a hardness settle in his eyes. Inhaling sharply, River knew that look, it was the look that said they had more to discuss. It was the look that told her she had better stay put.

As Rylee had finally stopped crying, Simon looked down at her and kissed her cheek. Noting that the sun was finally setting, her put her on her feet and said, “Why don’t you find your brother and then both of you wash up for bed? I’ll tuck you in tonight and tell you a story.”

Squealing at this rare treat, it was normally their mother who put them to bed, Rylee ran from the room, stopping only to press a light kiss to her aunt’s cheek as she headed out, calling for Daniel.

River watched her go, a smile gracing her lips at the child’s delight, but when she brought the gaze back to her brother, all vestiges of the smile vanished. His face was hard, his jaw set, his eyes blazing with anger and she knew it was directed at her, and she knew why.

“What happened with Kaylee?” she asked, meeting his gaze and trying hard not to flinch under the intensity of it.

“She thinks I’m purposefully endangering our family,” he bit out, rising to pace a small path in front of her. “She threatened to take the kids away if I invite Mother to come for a visit.” Pausing to regard her, he asked, “Do you have any idea what your insistence could cost me?”

River swallowed hard, feeling Simon’s and Kaylee’s pain lighting through her and twisting in her gut. With sad eyes, she looked to Simon and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it, River,” he told her angrily, knowing that he was probably taking out more of his frustration on her than necessary, but at the moment, not caring. “She threatened to take the kids away. Do you get how devastating that is for me?”

“Almost as devastating as having your baby die?” River shot back, unwilling to sit and take his verbal abuse.

Simon physically reeled from her statement, at once angry and sad that she had drawn the correlation so plainly. “That’s not fair.”

“Not fair?” River felt her ire rising, felt her tears of frustration welling her eyes and she rose to face her brother, her chest heaving with emotion. “Not fair? Simon, I don’t think you and I want to have a discussion about fairness right now.”

“Oh no,” Simon mocked, going toe to toe with her. “What could I possibly know about unfairness? My parents just tried to cut away my life, taking Kaylee from me and the birth of my son. Erasing a whole year and then replacing it with a false one. I couldn’t possibly have a discussion with you regarding unfair. What ever would we talk about?” He was being sarcastic and rude and he didn’t care. If River was so intent on costing him everything, than he would make her hurt for it. He had to, because the hurt he was feeling he could not shoulder himself.

And River knew it. She knew she was being unfair, she knew she was being demanding and selfish and asking more of Simon than possibly she ever had before. But this was about more than her and her brother and their duplicitous mother, it was about her child, her dead baby whom she had not been able to love, because those monsters from the Alliance had done something to her.

“Oh yes, Simon, of course,” River yelled, knowing that she should drop this line of arguing and just go, let them both clear their heads. But she couldn’t. She was filled with anger that she had to release and so did Simon. “It’s always about you, isn’t it? You and all the precious things in your life that you missed out on?” Whirling on him with burning eyes, she bit out, “At least you didn’t have your childhood snatched away by those hundans at the Academy.”

His anger rising with startling speed, Simon shot back, "No! My life was snatched away by you, when I rescued you from those hundans at the Academy!"

River was about to form a scathing retort, when the door burst open and Jayne and Kaylee stood on the other side, their eyes blazing as they took in the sight of their spouses. Glancing to them, Simon and River instantly felt shame for their argument and took a few paces away from each other.

Jayne moved into the room first, taking River by the elbow and grunting, “Come on, baby girl. I think we’ve all had enough excitement for one day.”

River kept her eyes downcast as she and Jayne moved past Kaylee to leave. River could feel the older woman’s eyes burning into her skull and she wished she had some words of comfort or reassurance to offer, but she didn’t, so she let Jayne lead her from the room, her anger and frustration and guilt rising in her chest.

Once they’d gone and the door was again closed behind them, Simon turned to regard his wife. She was still angry, he could see it in the way she’d crossed her arms over her chest, in the way her lips were pursed together, in the way her chest was heaving with the exertion of trying not to shout at him.

Knowing he would have to take the first step, he moved towards her, reaching out a hand and said, “Kaylee-"

Backing out of his touch, she said coldly, “I made up the guest room for you.”

Turning to leave, her hand was on the door knob as he said, “I love you.”

Stifling a sob, Kaylee did not turn back to face him, but simply left, waiting until she was in her own room, before sinking to the bed and crying unabashedly into the night.

***

Comments, pretty please? With cream and sugar on top?

COMMENTS

Thursday, August 3, 2006 3:51 PM

WANMEI


Nice chapter!

A wee bit much angst, even for me, but it was a good continuation of the series! It's heart wrenching going from recovering toward fluffy happiness to angst again so quickly, but such is life, right?

Still a great chapter, can't wait to see more!

Thursday, August 3, 2006 4:02 PM

LEIASKY


Ahh, I love angst.

I'm thinking this isn't going to be an easy fix, is it? River's mad, Simon's mad, Kaylee's mad. . . and they've all, in their own way, got the right to be!

And then the little Readers are caught in the middle!

Thursday, August 3, 2006 7:34 PM

ECAMBER


Ok, so obviously much more angst is on the way. I'm noticing that my reviews are not so much a review of what you write, but what I want to see happen. Not messing with that trend I did want to put this in: I really do hope that Regan Tam does not do anything to put Simon/River&company in danger. Her character is really so appealing and what she's been through is so typical of what we do with bad guys who didn't know any better: we punish them with isolation and exile and their appearance is only to increase their own sense of guilt and anguish. The poor woman has been through enough... let her be redeemed!

Ok,that being said this chapter took my breath away it was so filled with turmoil and angst. A lot of overreacting from most of the characters...which is to be expected, people usually go into a "guarding stance" when an already wounded area is threatened. Guess it's that sensitization.

And what a relief to see Rylee accepted as a reader (and nice implication of the genetics behind being psychic). Poor little thing having to carry that burden!

I just wish Jayne had a bit to say here. It is his wife, his dead child. And "on account of (his) intimidating manner" I think he'd probably have a bit to say about getting in touch with R. Tam. Personally I just want River and Jayne to get a clear target on the a-holes who did this and watch the gore ensure.

Yay for what is, once again, a really great read! Cannot wait for the next installment. <twitch>

Thursday, August 3, 2006 11:41 PM

JYNNANTONNYX


OMG *angry face* I just posted a huge review and it's not here :( Maybe you could upload the stories somewhere else, with a better review system.

I don't remember everything I said but the gist was that I'm really annoyed at Kaylee. I know she's been through a lot but she's being selfish and unreasonable. She's basically telling River that because something bad might happen River can never know if she can have children. And that's screwy.

I'm also mad at Simone for saying "No! My life was snatched away by you, when I rescued you from those hundans at the Academy!" I really wish she slapped him then :P

Regan isn't a threat now, nor was she before. It was her husband who did all the bad stuff *sigh*

Honestly, so mad at Kaylee. You'd think she would understand why River needs to do this. And threatening to take the children away? that is such a low blow. I want to see River and Kaylee duke it out now :):) Obviously, no fists, just angry words.

Friday, August 4, 2006 2:43 AM

SUZFROMOZ


intersting to read the other comments. Great story, as always, but the thing im finding a little frustrating is how the character are not looking at some fairly obvious solutions (and I know if they did we probably wouldnt have a story :) ). Why does 'mother' have to come to harvest? They could go meet her somewhere and keep their families safe. Secondly how can anyone believe its safe, just because 'mother' may be trustworthy? it doesnt mean she cant inadvertently bring down trouble upon them, if she's being watched etc. I just want to shake them when they have those conversations.

Friday, August 4, 2006 3:58 AM

JYNNANTONNYX


SuzFromOZ brings up a good point. And I acknowledge that contacting Regan probably isn't safe ... but that's too late now :P I agree that they should meet her somewhere else - even though that could be traced too. Or they should be asking Rylee to look into her dreams more and actually see what's happening :)

Ooh, or get River, Rylee and Cadie on it. Three readers are better than one.

It's been about 5 hours since I've read the fic and I'm still angry at Kaylee and Simon LOL *shakes angry fist*

Friday, August 4, 2006 6:40 PM

BLACKBEANIE


"No! My life was snatched away by you, when I rescued you from those hundans at the Academy!"

I gasped out and backed away from the screen.

Saturday, August 5, 2006 8:51 AM

LEIGHKOHL


The Simon and River fight was great! Intense and filled with hidden, underlying tensions thathaven't been addressed for years! They may have been said in anger but their thouhts about one another were completely valid, and maybe they should have come out! Greta chapter, off to read the next one.

Saturday, August 5, 2006 7:20 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Oh yeah...TamSibling's got the angst a'flowing and it's high grade stuff;)

Definitely gotta give you props, TS, on the level of realistic and believable angst and pain that's being flung around here right now. Takes a mighty sharp skill to handle this kind of dark emotional output the way you do:)

Not really sure where I stand on Kaylee vs. River, honestly. Both women have mucho valid points and such, but....I just get the feeling that Kaylee's letting an uncontrolable situation rule her decision-making. Kaylee can have as many kids as she wants with Simon, but River can't if the theory proves true. Kinda unfair that Kaylee's refusing something that, if the roles were reversed and she had been messed with by the Alliance and Blue Sun, would have Simon and River fighting to uncover...regardless of the danger it would pose.

Regan's an interesting topic though...wanna believe she was just criminally naive and now has had to get a degree from the School of Hard Knocks about her husband's depravity and the effects her inaction had on River. Really wanna see River, Simon and Regan sit down and hash some things out...mabye even have Kaylee lay into her to at least make her feelings known. Cuz you know there's something Hell-frozen-over when Kaylee gets all ballistic on someone's pigu;)

Can't wait to see part 12...lots more angst to uncover, I suspect;)

BEB

Tuesday, August 8, 2006 4:33 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


he drank his coffee with a vengeance
~Now that takes talent.

This goes south, I reserve the right to say I-told-you-so.
~I can see Mal saying this (and I can also see him saying I-told-you-so when the time comes)

I think they’ve gone a little crazy. Must be a girl thing.
~It's the cooties of the firefly 'verse.

The River/Simon arguement scene was really intense, and I for one think that Kaylee is overreacting quite a bit.


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