BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

TAMSIBLING

A NEW BEGINNING, ch. 12: Regret
Friday, August 4, 2006

Set four years after my A NEW LIFE series. The aftermath of River's request is felt by everyone and whether they like it or not, a visitor is about to come to Harvest.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3157    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

A/N: Glad to see that chapter 11 encouraged some dialogue among the readers as to Simon, Kaylee and River's reactions. Hopefully, this chapter will shed a bit of light on what has everyone so spooked.

Thanks again to Leiasky for the beta - and for talking me in off the ledge when I feel like I can't write another word!

And please continue to comment, even if you hate it. Constructive criticism and praise is the only way I'll get better!

***

A NEW BEGINNING, ch. 12: Regret

***

Jayne had to forcibly drag River from the Frye’s, his hold on her arm not loosening until they had walked out into the cool night. He finally relinquished his grip, watching as she shot him a dirty look and then strode off ahead of him, back towards Millie’s. Sighing, Jayne did not quicken his pace to catch her, but just let her blow off some steam.

By the time he reached their room, she was already in bed, but not asleep. Sighing again, he took of his boots and clothes for the day, sleeping in only his unders as he did every night. Crawling into bed beside her, he felt her tense even before he moved to wrap an arm around her waist. With a frustrated groan, he sat back against the headboard and said, “River?”

She didn’t answer him, but he knew she was awake. “River, gorramit, you best talk to me.”

“Or what Jayne?” Rising quickly, she whirled to face him, some of her residual anger at Simon now directed squarely to her husband. “What are you going to do?”

Leveling a finger at her, Jayne told her, “Now, don’t go yellin’ at me. I ain’t done nothin.’ It’s your brother you’re mad at.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, River flopped back on her pillow staring at the ceiling. “So?” she asked dejectedly.

“So,” Jayne repeated, glad that she had least stopped shouting. “You both said some pretty hurtful things. But in the mornin’ we’ll all talk it over and be able to –"

“Kaylee threatened to take Danny and Rylee away if he contacts our mother,” River told him quietly, still keeping her eyes locked on the ceiling.

Even Jayne hadn’t thought Kaylee capable of that. Whistling through his teeth, he murmured, “You don’t say?” No wonder the doc was so mad.

“And now, Kaylee won’t speak to him and he’s hurting, Jayne, really bad.” River felt a few shameful tears leak out of the corners of her eyes and run down the sides of her face. She didn’t want to cause her brother so much pain, it wasn’t right. Why couldn’t she just let this go?

Taking a deep breath, and realizing that his next statement could cause River not speak to him, Jayne said slowly, “Well, what if we didn’t ask your ma for help?”

River turned wide, hurt eyes on him and Jayne held his hands up in front of his chest in a sign of defeat. “Now, before you go yellin’ at me, maybe you should just hear me out.” River sat up again and regarded him with an expressionless face and he figured that was the best invitation he’d get to continue. “I know this is killin’ you, not knowing, but River, it ain’t worth all this. It ain’t worth you and Simon bein’ at each other’s throats or hurtin’ Kaylee or them kids.” Jayne swallowed hard past the lump rising in his throat. River’s expression had not changed and he was unable to determine if that meant her anger was rising or dissipating at his words. “And it ain’t worth riskin’ Mal or ‘Nara or Mimi or the Thompsons,” he continued, stopping as River interrupted him.

“Or Cadie,” she said quietly, her eyes cast to the blanket.

Nodding once, Jayne cupped her chin in his hand and brought her eyes up to meet his. “Or Cadie.” Jayne watched as she warred with herself, her desire to be angry at something or somebody over the loss of their child, fighting with her desire to move on, to be all right. He knew it was killing her, because it was still killing him.

“Why do you wanna know?” he asked her quietly, watching as her brown eyes welled with tears at the question.

Sighing heavily, River took in his concerned face and marveled at his uncanny ability to completely unnerve and comfort her all at once. She never would have guessed all those many years ago when they’d met that he would be the man she would come to rely on for everything. But now that she did, she never wanted him to go away, and she knew that keeping her emotions bottled up like this would drive a wedge between them she could never remove.

“Because I want to keep being angry,” she admitted, stifling a sob that rose to her lips.

“Bein’ angry don’t do nobody any good,” he chided her, reaching up to wipe her wet cheek with his thumb.

She nodded and looked to him again, “I know, and I know it’s the wrong reason and I know it’s not healthy and I know it won’t bring her back, but …” She couldn’t finish the statement, she couldn’t continue to admit how selfish and foolish she was being, because then she really would let this whole crusade go and she’d be left with nothing but the empty feeling in her heart and soul that she’d tried to fill with anger since her baby had been gone.

“If you know all that, then why you doin’ this?” he asked her quietly, again raising her face to meet his concerned gaze.

“Because, without that anger, I’ll be empty. I’ll be nothing and I can’t take that.” Her voice broke at this last statement and River again buried her face into her hands, her tiny shoulders shaking with sobs. Jayne pulled her to him, bringing her small form into his lap and resting her against his large, broad chest. River clung to him, arms wrapped under and around his shoulders, trying to keep herself from drowning by tethering herself to his strong presence.

She cried harder as more of her brother’s and Kaylee’s emotions washed over and through her, stinging her heart in a way she never would have guessed. She knew that Simon’s last statement to her had been said out of anger, but she also knew it was the honest truth – she had ruined his life, the minute he’d figured out those letters from her, the minute he’d decided to come get her, she had effectively signed a death sentence for everything he had ever worked for. And now, she was quite possibly doing it again.

“We’re gonna be all right, baby girl,” Jayne was whispering into her hair, rubbing her back and holding her tight. He hated seeing her so broken, but he knew, this part of the healing process, part of the grief that River had thought they had already worked through. “We’re gonna get through this.”

As more of Simon’s pain pierced her heart, River sat up against Jayne’s chest, her eyes wide even as she continued to cry. “I have to go see Simon,” she said breathlessly. Trying to stand, Jayne kept a tight hold around her waist and she looked back to him confused. “I have to apologize.” She couldn’t let him lose Kaylee and, right now he had, because of her.

“I think we’ve all done enough talking for one night,” he told her. “You two need to cool down.”

River couldn’t really argue with that statement and she knew that regardless of whether or not she went to see Simon tonight or tomorrow, the damage, for the moment was already done. With a heavy sigh, River leaned back against him, still crying a bit.

“I’m sorry, Jayne,” she finally said, her voice quiet and hoarse with emotion.

Looking down into her face, he asked her, “For what, darlin’?”

She met his blue-eyed gaze, sitting back from him a bit so she could place both hands along his cheeks. “For all of this, for the craziness and the hateful words and my insane family …”

Jayne kissed her, silencing anymore of her apology, as he cradled the back of her head in his head and deepened the kiss. When they had to part for air, River smiled lazily at him and he told her, “I don’t care ‘bout any o’ that. I care ‘bout you. You are my wife and I love you.”

She kissed him, a bit chastely this time and then leaned back against his chest, inhaling his musky scent and snuggling in to sleep. “I love you too.”

***

Rylee was sitting up in her bed, her knees pulled into her chest. She had rested her head against them, her tear-stained face turned towards the window where the strong moonlight was beating through the thin curtain.

She couldn’t sleep and it wasn’t even because of that dream. It was because of her folks, their pain and heartache was flying through her at a rapid pace, causing her heart to beat wildly one minute and then painfully slow the next. She knew that they would never willingly hurt her this way, but as she was just beginning to understand what being a reader meant, she had no idea how to control any of it.

Rylee had thought about going back to her brother, but he wouldn’t understand and she felt that if she stepped into a room with either of her parents, her heart might explode from the tension. So instead, she simply curled herself into the tightest ball imaginable and tried in vain to block it all out.

So absorbed in her struggle, she didn’t hear her door open and wasn’t even aware that Cadie had entered the room until she felt the bed shift. Snapping her head around, she made out the girl’s concerned face in the moonlight and smiled at her through her tears.

“Hey,” Cadie said gently, placing a light hand on the top of Rylee’s head.

“It hurts,” Rylee whimpered, trying to control her tears, but being unable to do so.

“I know,” Cadie told her. She too could sense the pain and hurt pulsing through this house and she could only guess how Rylee, with no mental shields or techniques to deal, was handling it. “I can help.”

Rylee looked to her with expectant eyes, and turned to face her, wiping her cheeks. “Please.”

Cadie smiled at her slightly and sat in front of her, cross-legged. Rylee matched her pose and as Cadie took her hands, she said, “This isn’t going to be easy, but it will work.”

Smiling slightly, Rylee nodded once and settled into listen.

***

The next morning Simon awoke feeling miserable. With a heavy heart and an aching head, the events of the previous night sped through his mind, causing him to feel dizzy and slightly nauseous. Pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, he took a few deep breaths until the moment passed and then got up. He dressed quickly, considering whether or not he should try and go see Kaylee, but as he passed their door and tried to turn the knob only to find it locked, his heart sank. He knew who the locked door was for and it was him.

Sighing heavily, he decided instead to check on his children, stopping first in Daniel’s doorway. His son was sleeping as he usually did, on his stomach, his covers having been kicked off in the middle of the night. Considering the early morning chill, Simon replaced the worn blanket over his son and kissed him gently on the forehead, before crossing the hall to check on Rylee.

As he pushed open her door, his breath caught in his throat. Sitting up and staring at him was Cadie, Rylee’s head in her lap, his daughter obviously asleep. As he approached the bed, and sat down gently, he saw that his daughter’s face was stained with tears, her eyes still a little puffy from her crying.

Looking into Cadie’s face he saw that her eyes too were red-rimmed, but he guessed it was more from lack of sleep than anything else. Running a gentle hand over his daughter’s dark hair, he whispered to her friend, “What happened?”

Cadie met his gaze and felt a twinge of guilt as she told him truthfully, “You and Miss Kaylee were in a lot o’ pain last night. Rylee didn’t know how to block it out.”

Simon inhaled sharply, realizing he had caused his daughter pain. Unwittingly or not, he knew that their lives were all about to change as they adjusted to having such a young reader in the family.

Cadie noted his distress and reached out to cover the hand he had laid against Rylee’s head. “She’ll be okay, she just needs to learn is all. Me an’ River can help her.”

Simon nodded, not feeling any better despite the girl’s reassurances. Blinking back a few tears, Simon was torn over whether to stay or leave her in peace, but as Rylee’s eyes blinked open, the decision was made for him as she said sleepily, “Daddy?”

“Yes, sweetheart,” he answered her, trying to steady his voice. “I’m here.”

“You okay?” she asked, rubbing her eyes with one tiny fist.

Simon’s heart broke at her concern and reaching out, he lifted her up and into his arms cradling her against his chest. He rocked her for a bit and Cadie watched them, grateful that Rylee had someone to help her through this, sad that she never had, until she’d met River.

Sliding off the bed, quietly, she turned to go, but Simon’s hand on her arm caused her to turn back to him. “Thank you,” he whispered, his gratitude clearly evident in his gaze.

She smiled at him, one of those knowing smiles that reminded him of his sister and then left the dad and daughter to have their time together. With a heavy heart and a bit of fatigue, Cadie trudged home, thinking it was about time she got some sleep.

***

Kaylee had just awakened the next morning when she felt the rush of the previous day’s events come pouring through her. Fighting back a sob, she felt a stronger rush of nausea hit her and bolting out of bed, she made it up and to the bathroom just in time. After twenty more minutes of emptying everything she had ever eaten, she trudged back to bed, rolling onto her side and crying herself back to sleep.

An hour or so later she again awoke, feeling terrible, but thankfully not having to throw up. She sat up slowly and stared out the window of her room, wishing that she didn’t feel as if her life had ended last night.

She and Simon never fought, not like last night. She had never, in all the years she’d known him, kicked him out of bed before, but yesterday, something had just snapped in her and Kaylee had been forced to take drastic action. Action she now regretted to be sure, but one she could not apologize for.

Her stomach churned at the thought and she figured she was feeling so queasy because of their blow up. Since they’d never really argued, she’d never really had to deal with the morning after, the guilt and the anger and the pain of waking up without him or the knowledge that she just couldn’t move past what had made her so mad in the first place.

A knock on the door interrupted her musings and she held her breath in anticipation, thinking that maybe it was Simon, coming to tell her he’d been a fool and that he would never make her feel so unimportant again. But the voice that called to her did not belong to her husband.

“Kaylee, sweetie. It’s Inara. Can I come in?”

Sighing heavily, Kaylee got up, remembering that she had actually locked the door last night so as to completely deter Simon from getting any bright ideas about trying to make up with her. She opened the door now, smiling weakly to her friend, before going back to bed and crawling under the covers, lying on her side and pulling them up to her chin.

Inara took in her hurt expression and the tears welling in her eyes as she came to sit beside her friend on the bed. “Oh mei mei,” she whispered, running a hand through Kaylee’s hair. At her touch, Kaylee started to cry and she turned her face into her pillow trying to stifle her tears.

“What happened, Kaylee?” Inara asked gently, her heart breaking to see her friend in so much pain. She had known last night that things had not ended well between Kaylee and Simon and this morning when she had come by and gotten the details on the sleeping arrangements from Winnie, she had again expected the worst.

“It’s just awful, ‘Nara,” Kaylee cried, trying to take in heaving breaths between her sobs. “I mean, he jus’ don’t understand how scared I am or why I don’ want him calling his ma. He jus’ don’t get it.”

Inara frowned at her, having a hard time believing that a man like Simon, who was not only smart but loving, would fail to recognize the pain he was causing his wife. “Mei mei, I’m sure he’s just confused. It’s always been very hard for Simon to balance his love for you and his love for River.”

Kaylee knew that was true, but it only made her feel worse. “Then maybe, ‘Nara, but in this case, don’ you think me and the kids should come first?” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Kaylee regretted them. Giving her friend a shameful gaze, Kaylee murmured, “I din’t mean that.”

Inara smiled slightly at her and said, “I think you did. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. But I don’t think Simon truly feels that way. I think he’s simply trying to make the best of an overly bad situation.”

“Yeah, but ‘Nara,” Kaylee said, sitting up and facing her friend. “If he contacts his ma and he an’ River are wrong ‘bout her intentions, that could put all of us in danger. Me and Daniel and Rylee …” Kaylee’s voice trailed off as fresh tears filled her eyes. “An’ he can’t see that all I’m tryin’ to do is protect the family we been working so hard to build these past four years.” Dropping her gaze to the blanket around her, she said softly, “I’m jus’ trying to keep our family safe.”

Lifting her friend’s chin to face her gaze, Inara saw the conflict in Kaylee’s eyes, her love for Simon fighting strongly with her love to keep her family safe and whole. Inara did not envy her. “I’m sorry, mei mei, I can only imagine how difficult this is for you.”

Sobbing Kaylee wrapped her arms around her friend and said, “I jus’ want ‘im to tell me he loves me and this was all a huge mistake, but I don’t even know if that’ll fix what got broke.”

Inara patted her back, wishing she had the words of wisdom Kaylee so desperately needed to here. “You two will be fine, mei mei, you’ll see. Just give it a bit of time.”

With a heavy sigh, Kaylee was about to say something else as another wave of nausea welled in her gut. “Uh oh,” she muttered, pulling back from Inara and launching herself towards the bathroom.

Inara followed her, feeling even more sorry for her friend as she again wretched. “Are you okay, mei mei?” she asked quietly, entering the room, and pulling her hair back from her face.

Smiling sheepishly at her, Kaylee answered huskily, “Me an’ Simon never had a fight this big ‘fore. I think my stomach’s just feeling it a bit.”

Wrapping an arm around her friend’s shoulders, Inara led her back to bed and get her settled, before telling her she would be back to check on her later. Once she had again left the room and shut the door, she was greeted by Winnie’s concerned, but slightly stern expression.

“She okay?” the woman asked, her eyes conveying motherly concern that Inara was all too familiar with.

Threading her hand through her arm, Inara turned her around and headed back towards the kitchen. “Just a little under the weather. Why don’t we fix her favorite food?”

“I always done told my kids, anything’s better on a full stomach.” Inara smiled at the statement hoping that those words of wisdom would ring true for Kaylee as well.

***

After having made sure that Rylee was all right and taking her down for breakfast, Simon had decided to check in on Elijah. Not at all liking what he’d seen, he’d gone to Millie and asked that the boy be moved down into the clinic, where he’d be closer to the medical equipment and supplies they had. Millie had agreed and Simon had carried the boy’s weak form into one of the empty rooms.

After managing to get him resting comfortably, Simon had retreated back to the clinic proper, running more tests and trying to see if any of the medicines he might have on hand could be stripped to their base elements and synthesized into a more effective drug. He was working on that unenviable task when River found him.

Watching him for a moment, her unease and guilt welled in her chest. Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth, ready to speak, when Simon surprised her by speaking first. “Leave me alone, River.” His voice was sullen and hollow and the sound brought immediate tears to her eyes.

Frowning at him, she came up beside him and spun his stool so he would be forced to face her. “No,” she told him, sticking out her tongue a bit for good measure.

Not amused, Simon turned back to his work and said, “I mean it.”

“So do I,” she countered, leaning against his work station with her arms over her chest. When it became clear he would not give her his full attention, she sighed and said quietly, “I came to apologize.”

Fixing a slide, he pressed his eyes to the ocular scope of the instrument he was using and said absentmindedly, “That’s nice.”

“Simon, don’t be a boob!” Her anger was rising now, replacing some of the guilt she felt. She was doing her best, couldn’t he see that?

Taking a deep breath, he pulled back from the machine and faced her, his arms crossed over his chest as he retorted, “How can I be a boob when I’m a selfish, egomaniacal man with an over-pronounced sense of entitlement?” He smirked at her.

The words stung. She knew he was using her arguments from last night and it pained her to know that the words had cut so deep. That had never been her intent. “I didn’t mean it,” she said quietly, her eyes cast to the floor.

“No, River,” he snorted a bit, his voice growing calm. “I think the problem is, you did.”

River’s eyes shot up to his face at his statement and she felt more tears come. Reaching out and gripping his shoulders tightly, she would not let go, even as he tried to pull away. “No, Simon, you’re wrong. I was angry and hurt and grieving and I said things I didn’t mean. You know that. You know me,” she finished quietly, meeting his hurt blue eyes. She saw a small break in his resolve and decided to push ahead.

“You know me better than anyone, Simon, even Jayne,” she told him, knowing it would kill her husband to hear her say the words, but also knowing he was no where in the vicinity. “You’ve always known me better than anyone and you know I could never say such hurtful things and mean them. I didn’t, Simon. Please, you have to believe me.” She was clutching at him now, her tears falling and her voice dissolving into heavy sobs.

Simon tried to maintain his distance, tried not to let her words effect him, but he could read her pain and her regret and the truth was, he had said some things that were just as hurtful. Standing, Simon pulled her into a tight embrace, burying his own tearful eyes into her hair. “I know, River, I know. I didn’t mean it either. It wasn’t fair of me.”

River felt such relief at Simon’s acceptance she almost sank to the floor, his strong embrace the only thing keeping her upright. Finally, when she felt herself bring her emotions under control, she pulled back from him and said, “I’m not calling mother.”

His eyes widened with disbelief and then narrowed with suspicion. “Why? What are you planning?”

Smiling at him, she placed a hand to his cheek, wiping some of his tears away. “Nothing, silly. It’s just – Well, the reason I needed to know, it’s not going to help. I see that now.”

Simon was still slightly suspicious, but he could see a new calm in his sister’s gaze this morning, a new level of acceptance that gave him hope. “You’re sure,” he questioned her, wanting to make sure he had all his facts straight. “You’re not going to come back to me a month from now and start this whole debate all over again.”

Shaking her head firmly, her hair swung in front of her face until she finally lifted her eyes back to meet his. “Nope, I’m sure.”

Sighing a breath of relief, Simon again hugged her to him and said, “Well, I’m glad mei mei.”

River took comfort in his embrace for a moment more and than said, “And now, you and Kaylee don’t have to be mad anymore.”

She felt him stiffen a second before he pulled away from her and resumed his seat in front of his equipment. Confused, she looked at him and asked, “What? Kaylee won’t be mad if mother’s not coming.”

Suppressing another heavy sigh, Simon went back to making notes in his chart as he said, “I don’t know if it’s that simple.”

Pulling on his shoulder, she turned him to face her and planting her fists on her hips, told him sternly, “Yes, it is.”

Smiling slightly at her desire to help, Simon still shook his head and told her, “No, mei mei. It’s not. This has turned into something that’s about more than just contacting mother.”

River frowned at him, not at all certain she liked where this was going. She could read the hurt and confusion in Simon’s mind, his deep desire to go speak with his wife and set everything straight. But he also feared that talking wouldn’t do the trick, that the anger Kaylee felt for him now, some of the harshest he’d ever experienced from her, could not be easily wiped away with an apology or a kiss.

With a fresh pang of guilt, River realized she had caused this rift between his brother and his wife. And that meant it was up to her to fix it.

Turning on her heel she strode for the door, even as Simon called to her, “Where are you going?”

“To make it right,” she told him and was out the door and down the porch before he even thought to stop her.

***

It wasn’t difficult for River to get into town or find the communications hub that Simon had used to reach out to their mother just under a week before. With a bit of anxiety welling in her gut, River took a deep breath, paid her credits to use the terminal and entered the small booth.

She knew that Simon would probably have preferred to do this himself or at least be with her when she made the call, but River knew she’d already done enough damage to her brother’s life; having him incur more of Kaylee’s wrath just to tell their mother “thanks but no thanks,” seemed a foolish risk to take.

With another deep breath, River closed her eyes and stretched out her senses, trying to relax. She had toyed with the idea of sending a recorded message, thereby avoiding an actual conversation, but River knew it wasn’t fair to do that – not to her mother of all people. She knew now what had happened and any additional avoidance on River or Simon’s part would just be heartless.

Opening her eyes, she felt a calm settle over her and with a practiced ease, she inputed the source code that would route her wave halfway across the ‘verse to her mother’s home. It took the machine a few minutes to connect, the travel time through space always working with a bit of a lag. And then, suddenly, the screen before her flickered to life and River inhaled abruptly at the sight of her mother’s aged, but concerned visage.

“Mother,” River breathed, hardly aware the word was coming before it had escaped her lips.

With instant tears in her eyes, Regan sat up towards the screen and murmured, “Oh, River, dear.” Blinking rapidly, trying to control her emotions, Regan cleared her throat and asked, “How are you, sweetheart?”

With a small shrug, River bit back her own tears and said simply, “Fine.”

Frowning at her, Regan challenged, “I don’t think so. Simon told me what happened. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

A stray tear fell down River’s cheek and she brushed it away quickly as she averted her gaze from the screen. Her mother’s concern and love played across her features, comforting River in a way she had not expected and had therefore not prepared for. “I’m okay now,” she told her, willing her voice to stay even. Looking back to the screen, she said firmly, “I don’t need those records anymore.”

Inhaling sharply, Regan’s eyes betrayed her hurt. Stammering for a moment, Regan was finally able to ask, “But why? Simon seemed to think they were fairly important.”

River felt her need to know the truth well in her again and with difficulty she forced it away. Her brother and Kaylee and their children were more important than some hunch she wanted confirmed and if saving their family meant never knowing the truth, then so be it.

With an unaffected tone, River answered her, “It doesn’t matter what may or may not be in those records. My baby is gone and nothing will bring her back. It’s not healthy to dwell on something I cannot change.” Even as River said the words, her mind and heart raged against the coldness of them. She didn’t believe any of them, not for one minute, but she knew that her mother would and that was all she needed.

Swallowing hard, Regan begged, “But River, dear, I want to see you. Please, let me help you.”

Blinking back more tears, River told her firmly, “No, mother. It’s not safe. I’m sorry, but not now. Not here. Maybe someday.”

Regan held her gaze for a moment and saw the resignation in her features. She knew that it had taken her son quite a bit of courage and humility to call her a week ago and her surprise at receiving such a wave from him was only surpassed by her surprise at River’s adamant stance now.

“Why?” the older woman asked, her voice quiet.

Sighing, River looked to the screen and finally smiled, just a bit. “You know why, mother. Simon has a family now, and we both have people we need to protect.” She paused for a moment and then added quietly, “Unfortunately, the last time we saw you, protecting those we love was much easier said than done.”

Regan nodded curtly and fought to withhold her tears of anger and shame. River was right, she had behaved wretchedly last time she’d seen her children, when she’d had the chance to make things right between them. But she wanted to make it better, she wanted to atone for those sins of the past; how could she do that if they kept rebuking her at every turn?

Knowing there was nothing more to be said, River looked up to the screen sadly and told her, “We love you, mother, truly. Maybe someday,” and with that she flipped off the wave, ending the transmission.

Regan stared at the blank screen for only a moment more before slumping back in her chair. Running a hand across her face, she wiped away a few of the tears that had fallen and then looked over to her left, meeting the steady gaze of her visitor.

“Did you get a trace?” she asked quietly, the private investigator she’d hired looking at her with an emotionless expression.

He nodded once and told her, “Harvest. Even at full burn on the fastest transport, it’s going to take you at least ten days to get there.”

Sighing, Regan rose slowly and handed over the stack of credits they had agreed upon a week ago. Regan had contacted the man as soon as Simon had called, knowing that he would have to call back, whether to say yes or no. And she’d been right. “Well, then,” she told him, turning to stride from the room. “I’d better get going.”

***

Ah, and the plot thickens - as does the angst! Leave a comment and let me know what you thought!

COMMENTS

Friday, August 4, 2006 5:20 PM

LAUGHINGMUSE


Can I kick Regan Tam, hard, just once? Please? Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaase?

Friday, August 4, 2006 6:15 PM

JYNNANTONNYX


... okay, it ate my comment AGAIN!! ARGHH!! I'm glad I copied it before I submitted it. So here it is -

"Oh dear.

Okay, I'm still mad at Kaylee and Simon :) This could all be stemming from the fact that I'm a River/Jayne shipper so I'm always going to be more partial to them. But anyway.

I don't think River is being selfish at all. She needs to know this. They could have easily come up with a compromise and agreed to meet Regan on another planet.

Please don't let Kaylee be pregnant. Poor River, Inara and Kaylee being pregnant ... could you imagine it? Two of your close friends become pregnant just after you had a miscarriage. *shudder*

As far as I'm concerned, Simon owed the apology to River. She didn't ruin his life - and River should never feel guilty about that. It wasn't her fault she was cut into. She asked Simon to help her because he was the only person she could turn to and he chose to save her. In the end, it was his disicion. I've lost a lot of respect for him now. That he could blame his life on his sister, it's such a cowardly thing to do.

And I repeat, oh dear. I somehow think everyone is going to blame the arrival of Regan on River *sigh* hasn't that girl been through enough? *sigh*

All that said, it's great the you're riling me up :) I'm obviously getting emotionally invested in the story. Keep up the good work.

But can someone pelase yell at Kaylee and tell her to stop being paranoid etc etc ... no one yells at her because they feel sorry for her and what she's been through. I think everyone's been through a lot and Kaylee needs to be yelled at :P But then, that's just me.

...I hope all this has made sense ... "

Friday, August 4, 2006 6:53 PM

BLACKBEANIE


Oh dear

Friday, August 4, 2006 7:51 PM

SUZFROMOZ


yes I agree that how het up we can all get about this plot line is a very good sign. keep up the good work!

Friday, August 4, 2006 9:00 PM

LEIASKY


Well at least Simon and River appear to have made up. Don't think it'll be so quick for Simon and Kaylee, though. The emotion is flowing now and so is the angst!

Regan on her way, no doubt bringing trouble at her heels, ratchet's up the angst even more!

I like Jayne in this bit being the voice of reason for River. Their scene was real nice.

I'm still amazed that with you as a S/K shipper and me being the same, you're getting River and Jayne down so well! Just shows versatility in writing.

If the readers have any hair left after this series, I'll be shocked! :)

Saturday, August 5, 2006 8:55 AM

LEIGHKOHL


Notonly is Regan on her way, but Keller too! This does not bode well for any of them! I can't wait to see how you resolve Kaylee and Simon's conflict, or if you do for that matter! Glad to see River and Simon coming to an understanding and River contacting her mother, instead of Simon doing all the dirty work ( which he always seems to do for his sister ). Can't wait for the next post, I am sur eit's goign to be an interesting one!

Sunday, August 6, 2006 1:42 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Oh boy...Kaylee's gonna be pissed when Regan shows up. Probably will have her arrive almost directly after you have Simona and Kaylee seemingly patch things up:(

Gotta agree with Leiasky...really enjoyed Jayne being the voice of reason to his wife. For all of the speculated backgrounds we come up with, it's plausible that Jayne would have familiarity with miscarriage and the pain it brings from growing up in an environment where pre-natal medicines is a lot more guesswork and prayers.

Really wanna see River and Kaylee hash things out, so Kaylee and Simon can start hashing things out themselves. I don't think Simon's a coward for what he said or River for that matter; both of them have lingering issues surrounding what was done by the Academy. I think Joss & co. would have eventually dealt with such things had Firefly gone on for a few years: the plausible resentment and guilt and anger at their lives being ruined at the whim of the Alliance.

Anyway....brilliant stuff you have here, TamSibling! Definitely can't wait for the the next part:D

BEB

Wednesday, August 9, 2006 1:08 AM

RIVERISMYGODDESS


Still catching up on this fic, but this was another great chapter.

I understand what Kaylee is doing, though I don't think it is the right way to go about it. She has been through a lot, but so has everyone else. I am a bit biased in this situation though, so I may be way off base.

First Keller is tracking them, now Regan Tam. Seems like another big confrontation with many of the characters is imminent. I think that Regan is going to die, just my opinion and feeling from the story so far.


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