A/N: As promised, here is the conclusion to part 2 that sets up the third and final installment - A NEW DAY.

A NEW DAY will focus heavily on River and Jayne while also staying very close to Simon, Kaylee, Daniel, Rylee and the new babies, as well as Mal, Inara and Mimi. It also holds the return of two familiar characters from an earlier installment and the very real threat that things will irrevocably change for our BDHs.

Thanks to all who have stuck with this story and I hope you will follow me on to the third part - A NEW DAY. Thanks also to Leiasky for way too many things to list here.

Enjoy and continue to read and respond - please!

***

A NEW BEGINNING, ch. 28: Knowledge is Power

***

River awoke a few nights later while it was pitch black outside, the new moon invisible overhead. The room was dark, but like a beacon, she could feel Cadie’s pain and confusion radiating out to her. Lifting her head from Jayne’s chest, River glanced towards the bed and watched as the girl thrashed about, obviously in the grip of a horrific nightmare. Getting up, she crawled towards the bed, and placed her hand against her cheek lightly.

“Cadie, baby, wake up,” River whispered to her, running her fingers through her hair lightly.

In an instant, Cadie’s eyes snapped open and she met River’s concerned gaze with a fearful one of her own. Breathing heavily, she blinked a few times to clear the tears that had formed and murmured, “Mama, it was bad.”

Smiling slightly at her, River continued to run her fingers through her hair soothingly as she said, “I know.” Laying her head down on the bed, River and Cadie stared at each other for a few minutes, neither of them saying anything and neither of them really having to. Their ability to communicate with one another had long ago transcended speech and truthfully, they only used words now in order to not unnerve Jayne.

With a sigh, River continued to stare at the beautiful little girl as her eyes again drifted closed. “I want you to be mine,” she murmured suddenly, not even aware that the words had been forming.

Cadie’s previously tired eyes, snapped open and sitting up a bit, she looked at River and breathed, “What?”

Swallowing hard past her own fear of rejection, River told her, “Jayne and I, we talked while we were on Greenleaf.” Placing her hand back against her cheek, she whispered, “We want to adopt you, if you’ll have us.”

Biting her lip, Cadie sat up fully and searched River’s eyes and mind, looking for the catch, the trick in her admission. She had grown up distrustful of adults, and while she had never had any reason to mistrust Jayne or River, what her mama was proposing right now, what she had just offered was Cadie’s wish come true and she had to be sure.

With a slight shake of her head, she told River, “No, no you don’t.” Pulling her legs into her chest, Cadie’s fearful eyes again pooled with tears. River, sensing so much from the little one, but her pain most of all, crawled up beside her and reached for her, but Cadie pulled away, content instead to rock herself.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat that was threatening to choke her, River placed her hands in her lap and asked quietly, “Why would you say that?” Her eyes imploring Cadie, she added, “You know that we do, you know that we love you.”

Cadie returned her gaze steadily and opened her mind to River and to Jayne. Sleeping there wasn’t a whole lot she could get off of the big man, but she had felt his love for her, his willingness to protect her and keep her safe plenty of times before; it was one of the emotions Jayne felt most clearly, along with his love for River and his dislike of Simon. Turning her focus back to River, her wide blue eyes met River’s brown ones and Cadie stared, past the surface of her mama’s scarred brain, past the damage that had been inflicted years ago and straight to her heart.

Although scarred as well, by memories too painful for Cadie to truly understand, there was a place, inside River’s heart, where things were pure and whole. It was in this place that River held those most dear to her: Jayne, Simon, Kaylee, Daniel and Rylee, Mal, Inara, Mimi, Zoe and Cadie. Cadie was uncertain as to when exactly she had been added to her inner sanctum, but she was grateful for it, because never before, with the exception of Elijah and Millie, had she been so completely loved.

But what Cadie understood, that River could not, was that she, this little seven-year-old girl who had been traumatized before would just be a substitute in River’s life – a substitute for the daughter she and Jayne had lost. And while she had waited years for River and Jayne to take the final step and make her part of their family, she knew that what River wanted, more than her, was her own baby, one that would grow inside of her, one that was part her and part Jayne. And no matter how much they loved Cadie or Cadie loved them, it was something she would never be.

Inching towards her, Cadie sat up on her knees and placed both hands to River’s cheeks. Looking into her eyes, Cadie whispered, “I love you mama and dada, but I’m not her and I never will be.”

River’s eyes already filled to the brim with tears overflowed now and she shook her head violently, pulling Cadie’s hands away from her face and clutching them tightly. “No, baby, I love you,” River told her urgently, trying to convince the child and herself of what she knew to be a lie. “Jayne and I, we love you. You’re meant to be a part of our family.”

Cadie shook her head, even as more tears came and she said, “Maybe someday, but not now.” Unable to hold back her sobs, she leaned heavily against River and murmured, “Don’t hate me.”

At a loss, River shook her head and wrapped her tight to her chest. She could never be mad at the perfect little girl she held now. River continued to cry and Jayne finally awoke, probably from the sound of both of their whimpers. To their sides in an instant, he placed a light hand on River’s shoulder, getting her to turn and face him. With a puzzled expression, he held her pained gaze and then let his eyes drift to Cadie’s trembling form.

Barely able to form words, River could only shake her head sadly. Not understanding, but not needing to, Jayne moved up and sat behind River at the head of the bed, pulling her and Cadie back against him and holding them both tightly as they continued to cry.

***

As Mal watched some of their contact’s men unload the last of the cargo from his hold, he had to smile. Was it really possible that he had just completed his first wholly legitimate job without a hitch?

Not wanting to jinx his good fortune, he quickly buried the thought as Zoe walked up the ramp to stand at his side and asked, “What are you smilin’ about?”

Turning his smile to a grimace, Mal told her gruffly, “Nothin’.”

Cocking a disbelieving eyebrow in his direction, Zoe’s retort was cut off by the approach of their contact. “Well, Captain Reynolds, I think I can say it’s been a pleasure,” the man told him, sticking out his hand.

Shaking it warmly, Mal returned the smile and felt his heart lift for the first time in weeks. This really had been the easiest coin he’d ever made and if Willis could be believed there would be a steady stream of other jobs just like it that Mal and his crew might be able to take advantage of.

“Well, I certainly appreciate that assessment, Chen. I hope you’ll pass that along to Willis.”

Smiling and nodding, Chen said, “Yes, yes, of course.” Glancing to Zoe, he smiled and said, “It was also a pleasure to meet you, Zoe.”

Returning the man’s smile with a small grin of her own, Zoe nodded to him once and watched as he deposited the pay load into Mal’s hand and then turned and walked away.

Watching him go with another idiotic grin on his face, Mal turned to Zoe and was surprised to find his friend trying to stifle a chuckle. “What?” he asked, his voice full of mock hurt.

“It’s just, if you keep smilin’ like that, you’re gonna scare away all our business, they’re gonna think you’re a bit, well, crazy,” Zoe confided, not able to keep her laughter in for another second and actually doubling over as she finally let out a deep chuckle.

Joining her with his own laugh, Mal sighed and, having picked up on something she’d said, decided to call her on it. “So,” he asked slowly, turning to walk back into the bay and hitting the ramp release as Zoe cleared the threshold. “Our business?”

Her eyes lighting a bit, Zoe matched his pose and challenged, “You gotta problem with that?”

Mal wanted to give her a hard time, wanted to make her sweat it out a bit, but he couldn’t. Stepping forward he hugged her, something that was still a tad foreign for them and asked, “Are you kiddin’?” Pulling back he met her gaze and said, “Relyin’ on Jayne has been taxin’ these past few years. I need ya, Zo, trust me.”

Smiling at him, Zoe could not form a response as she knew that her emotions would betray her if she did. The truth was, she felt more at home on Serenity and watching Mal’s back than she did anywhere else, even Harvest. And if Mal was willing to work jobs for Willis, staying in system and only being gone for a few days at a time, then she could again be his second-in-command. And that gave her a sense of calm she’d been looking for for quite some time.

“Well, then, permission to come back on board,” she asked him, forcing her voice to stay steady.

Nodding to her, Mal said easily, “Permission granted, Zo,” and smiling at her, he placed a hand on her shoulder and headed back to the cockpit, back to Harvest, and back to both of their respective families.

***

As the mule they had rented to travel from the port back to the Frye’s rumbled along, Kaylee leaned heavily against Simon’s side. She had awoken that morning looking a little pale and just a bit green and after emptying any and everything she had eaten in the past twenty-four hours she had confided to him that she was not feeling well.

Knowing that it was probably morning sickness, Simon had tried not to be too alarmed, but now as he looked at her tired face, he worried that maybe there was more to it. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her close.

“You okay?” he asked her quietly.

She nodded once and murmured, “Mmmhmm, just tired is all.” Looking up to him, she smiled wearily and said, “I guess carryin’ two at once is a little harder than I thought.”

Simon returned her smile and kissed her again, before settling back into the seat with her at his side. In just another fifteen minutes they were at the house and he helped her down gingerly. She was just starting to show at three and a half months and while no one, except River, Jayne and his mother knew of the pregnancy, Simon knew they would be unable to keep it a secret for very much longer.

She leaned against him hard again, as they walked back into the house and Simon murmured to her, “I hope we didn’t overdo it.”

Grinning wickedly, Kaylee’s eyes flashed with a familiar gleam as she told him, “Trust me, sweetie, I ain’t complainin’.”

He chuckled at her and was about to agree with that statement when the door to their parents’ home swung open and Winnie came out to greet them, Rylee and Daniel rushing out past her and practically leaping off the porch towards their parents.

“Mama! Daddy!” Rylee’s happy squeal was ear-piercing and Simon could only laugh at her excitement as he scooped her up into his arms. Kaylee leaned down to wrap Daniel in a hug and then he moved out of the way so that Kaylee could hug her mother.

Pressing a kiss to her daughter’s temple, she whispered to her, “It’s so good to see you, baby girl.”

Sighing a bit in her mother’s embrace, Kaylee whispered back, “It’s good to be home, mom.”

Pulling back from her daughter a bit, Winnie appraised her appearance with a critical eye. “You all right, darlin’?”

Kaylee smiled at her and said, “Yeah, I’m fine. Jus’ tired is all.” Looking back to Simon who was quickly becoming a human transport for both of their kids, she gave her mother a knowing look. “We didn’t do a lot o’ sleepin’.”

Returning her daughter’s grin, Winnie wrapped a strong arm around the girl’s shoulders and led her into the house, Simon, Daniel and Rylee following. It was late, so Kaylee was not surprised to not see anyone else, except Regan, waiting for them inside. With a mug in her hands, she was sitting in front of the Frye’s fireplace, the roaring warmth perfect for combating the chilly nights.

She rose as Simon and Kaylee entered and gave her daughter-in-law a hug before giving Simon one as well. “It’s so good to see you,” she told her son.

Hugging her back, Simon told her, “Thank you for staying with the children.” Glancing over to where they now sat with Kaylee on the couch talking to her animatedly, he said, “It appears they had a great time.”

Regan’s eyes followed his gaze and she smiled warmly at the sight. “They’re wonderful children, Simon. You should be very proud.”

Placing his hand over one of hers, he waited until she had brought her eyes to him again and said, “I am, thank you.”

She squeezed the hand he held, and then returned her gaze to Kaylee and the children. Winnie had joined them and was listening just as intently to the children’s stories. However, she was also watching Kaylee with a knowing eye, the girl’s paleness and drooping eyes causing her to throw Simon a concerned look. Raising a hand to let her know he was aware, he moved forward and lifted Rylee off of Kaylee’s lap and took Daniel’s hand.

“Okay, you monsters, it’s late, time for bed.” Both children whined and tried to think of a million reasons why they needed to stay up, but Simon was firm and told them, “Nope, kiss your mother goodnight and your grandmas and then we’re going to bed.” As Rylee continued to pout, Simon kissed her cheek and said, “I’ll read you a story.”

With a new squeal, Rylee leaned down and pecked her mother on her cheek, and then squirmed out of her father’s grasp to kiss both her grandmothers before running back to him. “’Kay, ready!”

Smiling at her, Simon waited for Daniel and then as they moved to go upstairs, he looked back to Winnie and said, “Can you make sure Kaylee gets to bed?”

Nodding once, his mother-in-law smiled wide and said, “You bet, honey. We’ll get everythin’ all squared away.” Smiling his thanks to her, Simon turned and took the children upstairs, their voices fading as they reached the upper landing and entered their room.

Once their voices had died away, Winnie edged closer to Kaylee and rested her hand on her daugther’s cheek. Turning her tired eyes to her mother, she tried to smile, but found it difficult. “What is it, baby?” Winnie asked her, concerned.

Turning a bit to face her mother, Kaylee said quietly, “I’m fine, mama. I’m just pregnant is all.”

“Oh baby!” Winnie’s breathed exclamation was followed by a tight embrace. Kaylee hugged her back, catching Regan’s teary eyes over her shoulder and smiled at the other woman. Pulling back Winnie again took in her weary eyes and asked, “You okay? You don’t look so good.”

Smirking at her, Kaylee moved to stand, needing a bit of help to do so. “Well, thanks mom,” she said. Leaning heavily on the arm Regan offered her, Kaylee walked with the woman toward the stairs, as her mother followed, picking up Simon and Kaylee’s suitcase. Pausing on the first step, she turned back and met her mother’s concerned face. Placing a hand on her arm she smiled and assured him, “I’m carryin’ twins, mom. That’s why I’m a bit more worn out.”

Smiling again, Winnie had to blink back the sudden tears she felt in her eyes. “Oh, two new grandbabies at once, ain’t that grand Regan?” she asked excitedly, her eyes falling to the other mother.

Smiling at Kaylee, Regan nodded once and said, “Yes, Winnine it certainly is.” Noting the way Kaylee was struggling to stay on her feet, Regan gripped her hand a bit more firmly and said, “Come on, let’s get you to bed. I don’t want Simon thinking I didn’t do my motherly duty.”

Nodding once, Kaylee allowed both women to help her upstairs hoping that these past few days were not an indicator of what the next six months would be like.

***

The next day Simon awoke early to the sounds of his children urging him awake. Quieting them so they would not wake Kaylee who was still exhausted, he took them downstairs and got them fed and then watched from the Frye’s porch as they started their day full of fun and play with the other children.

It was while he was there enjoying the calm of the morning with his cup of coffee that Millie sought him out. “Hello there Simon,” she said to him easily as she approached the porch and walked up the stairs.

Simon smiled at her and extended a hand as she reached the top step to help her, which she accepted with a smile of her own. Embracing her, he said, “Good morning, Millie. It’s nice to see you.”

“You too, son,” she said, looking him up and down with an appraising eye. “Especially up and about.”

Nodding his thanks, he remembered his manners and asked the woman, “Would you like anything, coffee or –"

Waving away his politeness, she told him, “No, no, Simon, I’m fine.” She paused and watched as Rylee and Daniel conspired together across the way and then started their own battle against some of the other kids, running in tandem as they tried to win the game.

Simon watched this as well and had to smile and then, slowly realized that Millie, rarely if ever sought him out. Turning to face her, he asked quietly, “Is everything all right?”

She turned back to him and smiled knowingly. “You are the smart one, ain’t ya?”

Chuckling a bit, Simon took another sip of his drink and then told her, “Well, I don’t need to be in order to read your discomfort.” His eyes flashing with concern, he asked, “Is everyone all right?”

“Nearly,” Millie admitted in a quiet voice, her eyes drifting to the floor of the porch. Picking up on her discomfort, Simon turned to regard her and waited. Finally, she cleared her throat and looked him in the eye. “I wanted to talk to you ‘bout ‘Nara.”

Instantly concerned, Simon asked, “What is it? Is she sick?”

Shaking her head quickly, Millie said, “No, I ‘spect in a few months she’ll be just fine.” Taking another deep breath, she told him, “There was an incident while you was gone and, well, Simon, she was pregnant and she lost the baby.”

Inhaling sharply, Simon had not expected that bad news. He continued to listen as Millie recounted the accident in detail, his heart and mind filling with pain and concern for both Inara and Mal.

As she finished, Millie watched him closely for his reaction and was not surprised to see his eyes clouding with concern, not only for Inara, but, Millie suspected, for his wife as well.

Placing a light hand on his arm, she drew his attention back to her and said, “Look, Simon, I only told ya, ‘cause both Mal and Inara are still grievin’ and now with Kaylee bein’ pregnant …” She let the statement die, knowing she wouldn’t need to spell it out for him, and she was right.

Nodding once, Simon squeezed the hand she’d placed to his arm, and said, “Of course, we’ll try to keep it quiet for a bit, although at the rate Kaylee’s starting to show, that could be difficult.” Smiling a bit, he told Millie quietly, “She’s going to have twins.”

“Oh, Simon that’s wonderful.” Millie hugged him and when she pulled back there were a few happy tears in her eyes. “I guess about six months time we’re gonna be pretty busy, huh?”

Simon smiled at that assessment, even as he felt his unease rising. He was not an expert at childbirth and he was even less of an expert at multiple births. He knew there were a ton of complications that could arise and he feared what would happen if they were all the way out here, without the right equipment and no access to specialists. He only prayed he and Millie would be enough.

Noting his trepidation, Millie reminded him sternly, “Now, don’t go doubtin’ me, boy. I done birthed plenty o’ babies and more than one at time too. You just keep your wits about ya and we’ll be fine.”

Simon smiled at her reassurance and then glancing back to his children, asked her, “Would you mind keeping an eye on them? I want to go tell Kaylee about Inara.”

Nodding, Millie watched him go and called after him, “Simon, she don’t really want folks to know, so maybe just—"

“Don’t worry, Millie, we love her too,” Simon reminded her with a sad smile and then turned to go, adding, “And I can’t really keep this from my wife – she is Inara’s best friend.”

Millie watched him walk away and then took a seat on the Frye’s porch, her eyes again drifting to her joyous children, their laughter finding its way across the landscape and to her heart.

***

Simon returned with a heavy heart to the room he shared with Kaylee, noting she had not moved since he’d left her. She had been overly tired since they’d returned from Newhall just a day ago, and with husbandly and doctorly concern, he approached her, sitting on the edge of the bed and placing a hand to her shoulder.

Her eyes fluttered open at his touch and she smiled sleepily at him, causing him to smile in return. “Hey you,” she murmured, stretching a bit, and curling her arms up under her head. Blinking to focus her eyes, she finally noticed the sad expression on his face and alarm replaced her sleepiness. “What s’matter? Are the kids okay?”

Nodding quickly, Simon told her, “Yes, they’re fine, they’re outside playing.” Pausing again, he swallowed thickly and watched as Kaylee’s expression turned from one of fear to one of concern. Pulling out one of her arms, she rested it against his leg and asked, “Then what is it?”

Taking the hand she’d placed against him, Simon kissed it gently and then held it. Scooting towards her a bit, he rested his other hand against her cheek and said, “Something happened while we were gone.”

Kaylee nodded once, urging him to continue, even as her fear again rose to the surface. “The people Mal and Jayne broke the deal with on Greenleaf, they followed us here,” he said quietly, trying to keep his voice steady, even as his heart welled with grief for Inara and Mal. “They managed to grab Inara from town and she got hurt.”

Kaylee sat up suddenly, ignoring the nausea and dizziness that accompanied the movement. Kaylee had not seen her friend since they’d been back. Having arrived late the night before and then today with not feeling well, Kaylee had assumed she’d be able to see Inara at dinner that evening as everyone was congregating at the Everetts. With a tremor to her voice, she asked hurriedly, “Is she okay?”

Simon smiled sadly at her concern, and kept his gentle hand against her face. “Yes, bao bei, she’s going to be fine.” He paused again, swallowing hard and then added, “But when they hit her, she fell, hard and …” He held his wife’s gaze as he finished quietly, “She was pregnant, Kaylee, and she lost the baby.”

With new understanding, Kaylee’s features filled with sadness even as her hands flew to her now showing stomach. Cradling it gently, her mind whirled with this newfound knowledge, unable to comprehend the pain Inara was suffering. It was so unfair for both Inara and River to have to shoulder this type of heartache, neither of them deserved it and it only served to remind Kaylee of how lucky she and Simon were.

“Oh, poor ‘Nara,” Kaylee breathed. Moving to get out of bed, she told him, “I need to see her.”

Placing a gentle hand on her arm to stop her, Simon said quietly, “You can’t, Kaylee, she doesn’t want us to know, not yet.”

Turning a truly baffled expression to him, Simon elaborated. “Millie told me, because she knew about your pregnancy and thought that if we could, maybe we should try and downplay it, at least for a bit. It’s only been about a month and both Mal and Inara are still pretty devastated.”

Kaylee’s mind struggled to make sense of this logic. “But, but, I need to help her,” she stammered, tears forming as she realized she couldn’t, as she realized that her pregnancy would only serve as a harsh reminder to Inara of what she had lost.

Smiling to her softly, Simon sat closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her tight. “And you will,” he whispered. “Just not yet.”

Kaylee nodded once, and buried her head into Simon’s strong chest. “It ain’t fair, Simon,” she told him, trying to bring her emotions under control. “It just ain’t fair.”

Thinking back to his own sister’s pain, Simon held his wife tighter and murmured, “I know, bao bei. I know.”

***

Cadie was in a calm, peaceful place and she was enjoying it. Breathing steadily, her eyes closed, she focused all of her attention on this small respite in her mind that she had managed to carve out, with River’s help in the past week. It had been hard, but she was able now to put up walls and doors to shut out thoughts and feelings she didn’t want, and while she was still a little slow at it, the newfound control was allowing her to sleep through the night with no nightmares and to again play with her brothers and sisters – like a normal girl.

River watched her from afar, having helped to get her started on this path back to her quiet place an hour or so ago and then backed off, retreating to the doorway to her room. Leaning against the door jamb, she smiled a bit as she felt the relief wash over Cadie at being able to finally retain her own thoughts and emotions while still maintaining a hold on her own unique talents.

Keeping her mind closed from Cadie so as not to disturb her, River wandered away quietly soon finding herself on Millie’s back porch. Sitting on the top stop, she pulled her knees into her chest and watched the sky turn to orange. The sunsets were getting earlier every day and River knew it would soon be winter here. Winter on Harvest was all that different from summer or autumn, although there was the slight possibility of snow, just a few months away, and all the children were abuzz at the prospect.

With a fleeting thought to the little girl she had just left, River felt a few tears prick her eyes and she blinked them away quickly. Their conversation from a week ago, when Cadie had refused to allow her and Jayne to adopt her still stung and River hated it. She hated the fact that Cadie had been right – that while River did love her, her love right now was tainted with her grief over the loss of her own child and her deep seated desire to find whatever antidote the Alliance had concocted, all those years ago, to allow her to carry a baby to term.

Because what she hated most was that she still wanted a baby – her own baby, one she would carry in her womb for nine months; one that would be half Jayne and half her. She wanted to dismiss the idea, she wanted to forget she’d ever learned of that antidote and finish grieving over her lost child and move on. She knew that if she hadn’t been aware of what the Alliance had done, or that it could be counteracted, Cadie would have said yes a few nights ago – and she hated knowing it was her own tunnelvision that was keeping that child from having a loving family and keeping Jayne from being a parent.

But River could not dismiss these feelings. It was a desire, so deep within her, it permeated every cell, every organ, every nerve. She had no idea why it was so important, but it was, and that meant that she had to follow it through. She had to know that when all was said and done, she had explored every avenue, made every effort to have her child.

“Hey darlin’.”

Jayne’s gruff, but soft voice pulled her from her thoughts and blinking back her tears she turned to look back at him with a smile on her face. Returning the grin, he sat at her side and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, sighing. River leaned against him and they sat in silence for a few moments, watching the orange sky turn pink and then purple.

When River felt enough quiet had passed, she finally worked up her courage to say something. Clearing her throat, she said, “Jayne?”

Turning to regard her, Jayne met her brown-eyed gaze and smiled at her again, making her knees weak. “Yes?”

“I want to talk,” she began, her voice faltering as she realized just what exactly she was going to ask of him. Taking a deep breath, she finally said, “I want to talk about our child.”

Inhaling sharply, Jayne had obviously not been prepared for that statement to come out of her mouth, but with a quick recovery, he pressed a kiss to her hair and asked, “What do ya wanna talk about?”

Pulling back from him a bit, she took both of his hands in hers and held his gaze as she said, “I want to talk about us, having a baby.”

With a sad smile, Jayne took one of his hands and rested it against her cheek. “River, we can’t and you know that. Whatever the ‘Liance did, it ain’t just gonna go away.” Leaning towards her, he brought their faces within inches of each other and he whispered, “I ain’t gonna run the risk of losin’ you again.”

River smiled at him, knowing that his concern was genuine, but she had to make him understand. Placing her own hand against his cheek, she murmured, “You won’t. Not if we find that cure.”

Confusion quickly settling in, Jayne pulled back from her and asked, “What’re ya talkin’ about?”

Swallowing hard, River started to explain quickly, hoping to reach her husband before he dismissed her idea out of hand. “On those files that my mother gave me, it details exactly what the Alliance did at the Academy and how they hoped to counteract it one day. They created an antidote to whatever virus they injected me with. If we can find it, or synthesize it, then I can carry a baby to term.” Reaching forward, she placed both her hands to his face and whispered excitedly, “Our baby, Jayne. Think of it.”

Nodding once, Jayne told her, “I am, darlin’, trust me.” Taking her hands from his face, he held her gaze and she saw his sadness. Just by his look, she knew exactly what’d he say before he even opened his mouth. And she was right. “River, it’s too risky and you know it. How’re we gonna get that antidote? You can’t exactly just fly in to the core any time you please. You’ve still got a price on yer head.”

River nodded once and pulled her hands from him. “I know that,” she told him coldly, turning back to face the approaching dusk. “But I thought you’d want to do this. I thought you wanted a baby too.”

Sighing heavily, Jayne let a bit of his annoyance show through, as he took her elbow and brought her back around to face him. “I do and you know it. But not if it means putting your life in danger.” Cradling her face in his hands, he said, “I love you and I don’t wanna lose you.”

She held his gaze for a moment, seeing the conflict raging in his blue eyes. He did love her, deeply, and it was that love that fueled his decision to protect her. But he also wanted her to be happy and he knew now that the idea of being a mother was important to her. He didn’t want to deny her anything, but stuck between a rock and a hard place, he would choose her life, their life together first and foremost.

Leaning towards him, River kissed him lightly and when she pulled away there were tears in her eyes. “I have to do this, Jayne. There has to be a way, and I’m going to find it.” And with that she rose and left him, sitting dumbfounded on the porch, wondering if there was any chance that their lives would ever the same again.

***

“Why’s mama so tired?” Rylee’s voice was quiet, but still concerned, and as she turned her big brown eyes up to Simon from the drawing she’d been working on, he had to smile at the look on her face.

Reaching down and rubbing her back lightly, he said, “Because she’s pregnant, sweetheart. We told you, it makes mommy very tired.”

“Yeah, she was in bed all the time when she was pregant with you,” Danny told his sister, smiling as she looked to him and stuck her tongue out.

Simon chuckled easily at the interplay between them and rested against the foot of the chair. Rylee and Danny had been drawing and playing quietly in their grandparents’ living room and Simon had joined them, bringing down a book to read while Kaylee again rested. Truthfully, he didn’t like how tired she’d been either, but after taking her out to Serenity for an ultrasound, Simon had seen that both of the babies were growing at a normal rate for twins and that there really was no cause for alarm. He only hoped things stayed that way.

Going back to his reading, he noticed as Rylee sat up abruptly and then, without a word, rose and headed for the door. Looking after her, Daniel turned back to his father and rolled his eyes. “She does that all the time now,” he confided, sitting back on his heels. “She can tell when someone’s coming, so she meets them at the door.”

Simon smiled and nodded his understanding, just as he did hear the door creak open and a moment later Rylee came back around the corner, dragging her aunt behind her. “Daddy, aunt River’s here to see you.”

Simon rose and greeted his sister with a kiss to the cheek and then reached down to kiss his daughter as well. “Thank you, Rylee.” She grinned and nodded to him, then returned to her drawing, while Simon again regarded River. She was agitated that much was plain and that set him on edge. Taking her by the elbow, he guided her back out to the porch, calling over his shoulder, “Daniel, watch your sister for a moment, okay?”

“Okay, dad,” the boy called back.

Once they were again outside, River stepped away from Simon’s touch and went to lean against the railing of the porch. Night had fallen and Simon looked up, leaning out a bit to see a few of the stars that had already appeared. Watching River for a minute more, he finally crossed his arms over his chest and told her quietly, “You know, I may not be a reader, but I’m still your brother.” She turned to look at him at the statement and saw the kind smile that had graced his face. “I can tell when something’s bothering you.”

She nodded once, and then with a slight sigh, turned and sat against the railing, staring at her feet. Still not sure what was going on, Simon modeled her pose and waited for her to enlighten him. Finally, with a small voice, she said to him, “I need your help.”

Taking a deep breath, Simon tried not to think about how spectacularly giving her assistance had gone last time for him, but as soon as she snapped her eyes up to his face, he knew that he’d thought about it enough to clue her in.

Grabbing for one of his hands, River told him, “Simon, please. I wasn’t going to ask, I swear. I didn’t want to, I still don’t, but I have to. You’re the only person who can help me,” she finished quietly, her voice broken by a few tears that had fallen down her face.

His slight annoyance quickly gave way to concern, and Simon reached up a thumb to wipe one of her tears away. “I know that, mei mei, I know.” Waiting another minute he finally asked, “What is it?”

River did not want to tell him everything; there were things on those files that Simon could never know. But she could tell him just enough to make him see how important this was to her and to Jayne.

Swallowing thickly, she turned a bit to face him and began slowly. “When you were in the hospital, recovering, mother came to me and gave me some records she’d found. Some of them were standard medical files from my doctors when I was younger.” Pausing, she bit her lip and raised her eyes to meet Simon’s. He was waiting and listening, trying to hear and understand all she was about to tell him. Taking a deep breath, she continued. “But some of them, she found with father’s things and they were from the Academy.”

Simon inhaled sharply at this revelation, his mind reeling with the knowledge that he might actually have the chance to discover what had happened to his sister almost seven years ago. But with a firm grip on his arm, River brought his eyes back to her face and he saw her determination there. “No, Simon. Those files aren’t for you. They’re for me.”

Shaking his head, Simon told her patiently, “River-"

“No, Simon.” Her voice was hard and cold and he immediately knew she wasn’t kidding. “I mean it.”

Sighing heavily, Simon thought about pressing the issue, but he knew that if River had resolved to keep her secrets, he would be hard pressed to ever pry them from her. “Then what do you want me to do? Without access to those files there isn’t a lot more I’ll be able to determine.”

“I already know all I need to,” River told him cryptically, pulling her eyes from his face and letting them wander out into the night. “And I can tell you what you need to know.”

Not at all liking being kept in the dark, Simon folded his arms back over his chest and waited. In a quiet voice, he finally heard his sister say, “There’s a cure.”

Confused, Simon prompted her. “What? A cure for what, mei mei?”

Bringing her big eyes back to his face, he inhaled when he saw her sadness there, a sadness deeper than just about any she had ever exhibited. “For me.”

Simon placed a light hand to her face and asked, “For what, River? You don’t need a cure.”

Shaking her head, she stood up and tried to make him understand. “No, not for me. For the virus, for the thing that killed my baby.” Looking back to him with shining eyes, she told him breathlessly, “I can have a baby, Simon. I can.”

This new information was not at all what Simon had been expecting. Rapidly trying to process it all, Simon rose and paced away from her, one hand rubbing absentmindedly across his neck. How could there be a cure? And why? What was the point of any of this? And how sick were those monsters?

River watched her brother struggle to bring logic to the chaos of this news and she knew that he would – he was very smart, if occasionally very dense. When he turned to again face her, he said simply, “I don’t understand.”

Moving towards him, River placed her hands on his cheeks and said, “Yes, you do. You just don’t want to.”

Even as he stared at her with a dumbfounded gaze, Simon knew she was right. The only reason to have a “cure” to something so heinous was to control it, meaning that those hundans at the Academy had decided that not only were they going to rip his sister’s mind to shreds, but they were going to decide if and when she could ever have a child, most likely in an effort to capture and heighten her abilities in the next generation of human killers.

Biting back the bile that rose in his throat, Simon walked away from her again, his shoulders heaving with anger. Trying to get him to see past his rage, River told him, “I don’t want you to be angry, Simon. It’s not worth it. It’s over, done. I just want your help.”

“My help with what, River?” he asked her, his voice rising in pitch as his anger gave way to a bit of desperation. “I can’t undo what they did.”

“No, you can’t,” she told him succinctly. “But you can help me find that cure.”

Simon’s mind spun at the thought. What she was talking about, what she was asking, involved infiltrating levels of the core that neither one of them had been a part of for years. It meant trusting people they had no right to trust and it meant taking risks that could easily get them killed.

“River, you can’t ask me to do this,” he told her quietly, his voice stilted as he tried to control his emotions. Gesturing behind her to the house, he added, “Especially not now, not with Kaylee expecting twins.”

Pleading with him, River approached him again and begged. “Simon, please. No one else can help me with this. You’re the only person who might still have the contacts. Plus, mother will help us.” Pausing, she added, “Maybe even father can.”

“No,” Simon told her firmly, backing away and shaking his head. “No, you are not to try and find father, do you understand me?”

“Since when do you think you can order me around, Simon?” she shot back, her eyes growing cold. Crossing her arms over her chest, she retorted, “He is our father.”

“Yes, River, he is,” Simon bit out, trying desperately to control his anger. He knew his sister was speaking from a place of grief and despair and he wanted to be sensitive to that, but she couldn’t risk all of their lives, not again. “But I think he’s proven well enough that he cannot be trusted. He tried to kill us, both of us, do you remember that?”

“Of course, I do,” River shouted, not caring as she raised her voice. “But unlike you, Simon, I don’t have a choice. He may be my only chance at having a family!”

Regardless of her reasoning, Simon could not and would not back her in this foolish quest. Taking a deep breath, he opened his mouth to say words he knew would pain him, but he knew were necessary. “No, River.” He watched as her eyes widened with shock, and shaking his head firmly, told her again, “My answer is no.”

Simon watched as his sister’s small form shook with the weight of her emotions, approaching him with more anger in her eyes than she had ever shown him before. “You have a family, Simon,” she ground out, her voice a low growl. “You have more babies than you know what to do with. But I don’t and I can’t. Not until I find that antidote, and I promise you, I will explore every avenue until I do. Regardless of whether or not you’re willing to help me.” With that she turned on her heel and headed off the porch. As Simon’s voice called to her, she stopped abruptly and felt an icy chill strike through her heart at his words. “Even if it means sacrificing my family?”

Unable to answer him, River turned to him with those cold eyes and held his gaze for a moment more before striding off into the dark.

***

TO BE CONTINUED ... AND CONCLUDED in A NEW DAY!

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