A/N: Thanks to all who have hung in there as this story as continued. As many of you have already guessed, this part of the trilogy will be filled with angst and longer than the other two.

Please continue to read and respond and let me know what you think!

Thanks to Leiasky for the beta. You rock my friend!

***

A NEW DAY, ch. 2: Talking it Out

***

Kaylee and her mother were in the midst of birthday plans. For the better part of the morning they had been making lists of ideas, including decorations, food, presents and the like. Kaylee was smiling now as she and her mother planned the cake. So grateful that her baby girl would have a real cake with flour and sugar and pink frosting, Kaylee could not help but sigh a bit with content.

Winnie caught the expression and put down the pen and paper she held, reaching her hand out to squeeze one of Kaylee’s. “You okay, baby girl?” she asked quietly, her eyes full of concern. “We can finish this later, if you’re tired.”

Shaking her head, Kaylee did sink back a bit on her pillows and said, “No, mom, I’m shiny. Feelin’ a little bit-" Her statement was cut off as both twins decided to move at the same time, causing an unpleasant amount of pressure to force itself on her bladder. Her eyes widening at the discomfort, Kaylee tried to sit up and told her mother quickly, “I gotta go.”

Knowing exactly what she meant, Winnie helped her daughter to the bathroom and then back to bed, making sure her baby was comfortable, and noting the look of distress that had now overcome her features. “What is it, darlin’?” she asked quietly, pushing some of Kaylee’s hair back behind her ear.

Blinking back unexpected tears, Kaylee met her mother’s concerned gaze and felt the tears she was trying to hide rise to the surface. “Oh mom, I’ve been so miserable,” she breathed, trying to keep her voice steady. “And I know that feelin’ this bad it can’t be good, not for the babies.” Grabbing her mother’s hand tightly in her own, she finally whispered, “I’m real scared.”

Her own features clouding with concern, Winne edged closer to Kaylee on the bed and placed a gentle hand to her cheek, catching some of her daughter’s tears as they fell. “What does Simon say?”

Kaylee smiled slightly as she thought of her loving husband and tried to let the memory of his swai grin and warm embrace overwhelm her. “He’s worried, I know he is, but truth to tell, I ain’t tol’ half o’ what I been feelin’. He already feels guilty enough.” When her mother’s expression grew confused at the statement, Kaylee elaborated, “For gettin’ me pregnant in the first place.”

“Well, that’s the silliest thing I done ever heard,” Winnie dismissed easily, frowning slightly. “Ai ya, if that boy don’t got guilt down to a science.”

Kaylee giggled a bit at her mother’s assessment; it was true, Simon did seem able to inflict enormous amounts of guilt on himself, deserved or not. But it didn’t change the fact that he felt bad and Kaylee knew it killed him just a bit every time she had to run to the bathroom or she couldn’t sleep or she was too tired to play with the kids. Feeling suddenly very tired, Kaylee felt her eyelids start to close. Looking to her mother through heavy lids, she murmured, “I think I’m gonna rest for a bit. Can we finish this later?”

Smiling at her, Winnie leaned forward and placed a kiss to her forehead. “Of course, baby, you just get some sleep and take care of my grandbabies.”

Kaylee smiled at her slightly and then her eyes closed all the way and she was soon asleep. Leaving quietly, Winnie was just shutting her door as Simon entered the hallway, striding towards his room with a purpose.

Greeting his mother-in-law, he asked, “Is she all right?”

Nodding once, Winnie clapped a hand on his shoulder and steered him downstairs, “She’s fine, son, just sleepin’. But I think you and me need to have a chat.”

***

As the week came to a close, Willis had again contracted Serenity and her crew for another job and as Mal surveyed his once again full cargo bay and full pockets, he had to admit, life was good. Striding back up the stairs and towards the galley, he paused for a moment on the landing, staring at the door to what had once been his and Inara’s shuttle. With a smile at all the memories there and thoughts of his lovely wife filling his mind, he walked into the dining room and saw Jayne and Zoe both seated at the table.

“We’ll be back on Harvest inside a day,” his second told him, watching as he moved to get a cup of coffee and then joined them both.

Nodding, Mal took a sip and asked, “Willis got anymore work for us?”

Zoe shook her head slightly, noting how Mal’s face fell. Sitting forward, she elaborated, “Well, Willis don’t, at least not right yet, but Chen might.”

Raising an eyebrow at her, Mal exchanged a look with Jayne, a knowing look that the mercenary easily reflected. Deciding to have a little fun, the bigger man said, “So, the boyfriend finally comes through, huh?”

Throwing Jayne a look that could have easily bored holes in steel, Zoe bit out, “Shut it, Jayne.”

Smiling even wider behind his cup of coffee, Zoe turned her attention back to Mal who had made sure to wipe any vestiges of a smirk from his face. “You want the job or not?”

Shrugging slightly, Mal asked, “Depends. What’s the payload?”

“About triple what we made this time around,” she answered evenly, enjoying it, just a bit as the coffee Jayne had just sipped came sputtering out of his mouth.

“Triple?” he asked incredulously, turning wide eyes to his wife as River made her way into the galley from the bridge. “Triple?”

“What’s going on?” River asked quietly, taking a seat beside Jayne.

“It seems Zoe’s, uh, friend,” Mal stated as the warrior woman gave him a menacing look, “Might have some more work for us, good payin’ work, apparently.” Looking back to Zoe, he asked cautiously, “What’s the catch?”

Zoe’s grimace told him there would be one and stifling his initial reaction to curse something fierce, he listened as she said, “It’s a longer job, gonna take us farther towards the core, to Boros.”

This information did not necessarily sit well with any of them. None of them liked Boros for various reasons, including the fact that it was the planet Simon had been taken on years ago. Plus it was farther away than most of their recent jobs, keeping them in the black for at least six weeks instead of their normal one. But if the money was as good as Zoe said …

“Is it still legit?” Mal asked, not really looking for any Alliance entanglements.

Nodding once, Zoe said, “That’s what Chen tells me. Seems he’s struck a deal with some ranchers there, got beef to move.”

With an even bigger grimace and an audible groan, Mal retorted, “Not cattle again. It took us months to clean out the bay last time.”

Smiling at him and remembering with joy how they had made Jayne shovel out all the droppings, Zoe amended, “No, not cattle, actual beef this time. It’ll take us a bit once we get to Boros, they’re gonna need to outfit us with some portable refrigeration units, keep it fresh.”

Mal considered all this and so did River. While she would not admit it to them, the idea of heading back towards the core was enticing to her. She knew that the closer she got to the seat of the Alliance, the better chance she’d have at exercising her very limited hacking abilities to get some information about the Academy. This was the opportunity she’d been looking for, the chance to get close enough to actually find something that would help her have Jayne’s child. Concealing all of her anticipation behind a carefully constructed mask, she regarded Mal and Zoe as the two shared a knowing look. River knew Mal would take the job – the payload was too sweet for him to pass up. But she also knew he was concerned about Inara, about being away from her for so long and River could sympathize.

His wife had not been doing well since the miscarriage and while River had tried to comfort her, there had been little she could say to ease Inara’s pain. Plus, the knowledge of Kaylee’s pregnancy and with twins no less, had put a strain on her friendship with the girl, making it even more difficult for Inara to move past her grief. She needed Kaylee, now more than ever, but seeing her best friend getting bigger every day only served as a constant reminder to what she had lost and so instead of confiding in her friend, Inara had chosen to avoid her, thereby increasing her guilt and stymieing her recovery.

With a sigh, Mal finally said, “I gotta talk to ‘Nara.”

Zoe nodded once, having guessed that would be his first instinct. “Chen says he’d rather us do it than anybody else. He’s given us ‘til day after tomorrow to make a decision.”

Mal was grateful to know that someone had so much faith in them. Continuing to sip his coffee, he only hoped that he could make good on that confidence when he knew it would mean leaving his still hurting wife.

***

“Mama?”

Looking up from her book, Inara glanced to the doorway of her room and saw her daughter’s dark, curly head of hair and bright brown eyes. Folding her book into her lap, Inara reached out a hand in her daughter’s direction and smiled warmly. “Yes sweetheart?”

Running around the edge of the bed towards her, Mimi flung herself into her mother’s open arms and with a contented sigh, Inara lifted the girl up and into her lap, pressing a kiss to her cheek in the process. When they were again sitting and Inara had started to rock a bit, Mimi turned her big eyes up to Inara’s face and asked quietly, “Are you sad?”

Surprised by the question, Inara pushed some of her daughter’s curls behind her ear and told her softly, “No, baby, I’m not sad. I’ve been a little tired, that’s all.”

Mimi watched her mother and knew that something wasn’t right. “Why won’t you see Auntie Kaylee?”

With a start, Inara glanced back down into Mimi’s sweet face and said quietly, “Oh, sweetheart, you know Auntie Kaylee’s been really tired, because of the new babies,” she explained, trying to keep her voice steady and not dwell on her own loss. “I just want to be sure she has plenty of time to rest.”

Crossing her arms over her chest with a huff and pout, Mimi said sullenly, “Well, I miss her.”

Pulling her daughter in close, Inara kissed the top of her head and blinked back a few tears. “I know, Meems,” she whispered quietly. Straightening Inara told her, “I tell you what, why don’t you and I plan to go see Auntie Kaylee first thing tomorrow?”

With a bright smile and a little squeal, Mimi threw her arms around her mother and squeezed tight. “Yay,” she exclaimed, wiggling down off her mother’s lap as she moved back towards the door. “I’m gonna draw ‘er a picture,” she said excitedly, running from the room. Inara smiled as she left, her own concern over her distance from Kaylee weighing back in on her. She had been avoiding her friend for all the wrong reasons and that wasn’t right. Looking back out the window, she heaved a sigh, and could only hope that not only would Kaylee forgive her, but Inara could forgive herself.

***

Simon was outside and it was late. The nights on Harvest were still his favorite time, although with winter just on the horizon, he had to bundle up more now to enjoy the quiet of the stars and the moonlight – but he didn’t mind.

He needed the time to think. It had been over a week since he’d first told Millie his idea of sending Kaylee into the Core to have the babies, and he still hated the idea. But he couldn’t think of a different one. He had tried throughout Kaylee’s entire pregnancy to keep a level head, to be her doctor first and her husband second, but as her health had deteriorated, as she had continued to suffer and get weaker and more fatigued, his resolve had wavered and he now found himself acting like her husband first and her doctor hardly at all.

He could not stand to lose her or the twins and it was that need, that fear, which was causing him to cling so passionately to what he knew was a bad idea. Of course, it was also his fear that when the time came, if Kaylee were with him, he would be powerless to help her and then, not only might she be gone or one of the children, but he might be the reason.

Swallowing back the lump in his throat, he gazed out into the dark and was not surprised to see a familiar silhouette making its way towards him. Hiding a faint smile as he raised his coffee to his lips, he greeted his sister when she was close enough. “River, what are you doing out here?”

“Same as you,” she told him easily, mounting the steps to the porch and standing at his side. “Thinking.”

Simon regarded her profile in the moonlight and had to marvel at their rough past couple of months. Ever since she had threatened to find their father, things had been strained between them. The fact that she could so easily and would so willingly risk his life and that of his family’s to find a man they knew could not be trusted, had shaken his faith in her. It had only been over the last two months or so that Simon had again begun to see his sister as she had lessened the intensity of her search, and stopped hunting so diligently. And while Simon wanted to believe it was a sign that she was coming to terms with all she had learned, he also could not believe she would ever let it go that easily.

Dismissing these thoughts, he turned to her, much more interested at this moment to have his sister at his side, than a woman he could not trust. “How was your last job?” he asked her quietly, knowing that she had probably picked up everything from his mind, and resigning himself to the fact that it was all information she already knew.

And he was right. River sighed a bit and told him, “Fine. We’re getting another job lined up, this one will take longer.”

Simon nodded, not really interested, but trying to be polite and make small talk so he could ask his sister what he really wanted to know. Guessing at his ulterior motive, River placed a gentle hand on his arm and held his gaze as she said, “She only needs you, Simon.” The intensity in her eyes caught him a bit off guard and Simon found himself having to remember to breathe. “You’re all she’ll need, when the time comes. It’ll be all right.”

He wanted to believe her, with everything he had. It was exactly what he’d wanted to hear, but Simon could not dismiss the facts. “River, she’s not doing well,” he finally admitted, his voice an urgent whisper. “And if something really goes wrong, I-"

“You’ll be there and you’ll help her,” River told him, smiling slightly at him and trying to ease his anxiety. She didn’t want this for Simon or for Kaylee. The tension between them and around them was nearly palpable and everyone could see the toll it was taking. And while River was still bothered by Simon’s ability to dismiss her and her needs when it came to having a child, she could not stand to see him or her sister suffering so – it just wasn’t right. Placing a light hand to his cheek, she whispered, “You have to have faith, Simon.”

“In people,” he added quietly, quoting one of his wife’s favorite sayings. Downing the rest of his coffee, he wished he did have faith – truly. But all the wishing in the ‘verse could not quell his rising anxiety.

With a slight sigh, he leaned down and gave his sister a small kiss on the cheek. “I’m going to bed, mei mei.” Moving past her and towards the house, he asked, “When are you taking off again?”

Turning to face him, she said, “Day after tomorrow if all goes well.”

Nodding once, Simon asked, “Come and see Kaylee before you go and Rylee? If you have a minute.”

“I will,” she assured and then giving him a small smile watched as he retreated into the house.

Once she was alone, River crossed her arms over her chest, the cold night finally seeping into her bones. She hated pretending, especially to Simon, that she had given up her quest and was now content to live with the knowledge that there was a way for her to have a child. But it was information she just couldn’t ignore – she couldn’t let it go and she hoped that once they got a bit closer to the Core, she wouldn’t have to.

***

Mal lay with Inara’s warm and slightly sweaty form in his arms and breathed in a deep slow breath, reveling in the scent of her. It was not the first time they’d made love since the miscarriage, but each time now was different for them, as if there was more of a need for them both: more need to feel and love one another, more need to bring the other person pleasure, more need to be more passionate. And Mal was not complaining.

With a light kiss to his chest, Inara raised her eyes to him, looking at him through heavy lashes. “That was good,” she murmured, crawling up towards him and smiling as he groaned at her slow movement. Kissing him lightly on the mouth, she rested her head beside his on the same pillow and laid a gentle hand to his cheek.

“I ain’t about to disagree, darlin’,” he told her, grinning sheepishly and kissing her again as well. His arm still wrapped around her, he pulled her close and Inara placed her arm over his chest, burying her head in the crook of his neck. They lay there like that for several moments, before Mal finally broached the subject he had been avoiding all evening.

“We got another job,” he told her quietly, his fingers swirling small circles along her shoulder.

Unbelievably relaxed, Inara’s only answer was a murmured, “That’s nice.”

“It’s a big one too,” Mal said, continuing to talk in a light tone, hoping that if he stayed calm this information would not blow up in his face as he feared. “’Bout triple the take of our recent jobs.”

That information got Inara’s attention. Pulling back from him slightly, she propped herself up on one elbow and gave him a questioning gaze. “Is it still legal?”

Smiling at her, Mal kissed her quickly and said, “Yes, it’s perfectly legal.”

“Then what’s the catch?” she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

Chuckling deep, Mal pulled her back to him and held her tight. “Darlin’, you’ve been married to me too long.”

Smiling, Inara waited for him to answer her question and only grew more concerned as it became apparent he wouldn’t. Raising her head back to meet his gaze, she asked again, “Mal?”

Sighing heavily, Mal stared at the ceiling, saying a silent prayer to the Shepherd that he would not regret this. “All right, all right,” he told her quickly. Shifting so he was laying on his side, his own head propped on one hand, he told her quietly, “It’s gonna take a while and we’re gonna have to go farther than we have been. That’s what warrants the extra coin.”

Still concerned, Inara asked, “How long and how much farther?”

With a grimace, he answered, “Six weeks and into Boros and back.”

Inara took this information in stride, trying hard not to let her features show the shock or fear she felt at the mention of Boros. She did not like it there, ever since Simon had been taken, and she was none too thrilled with the prospect of Mal being gone for six whole weeks. Despite how fiercely independent they both were, neither Inara or Mal had been separated for more than a week since they’d been married and certainly not longer since Mimi had been born. And while Inara liked to think she could handle his absence for such an extended period she harbored a small fear that she really couldn’t.

“And it’s legal?” she asked him again, thinking of nothing else she could say at the moment that would not reveal her concern.

Nodding once, Mal’s blue eyes studied her features, watching intently for any distress, and either Inara didn’t feel any or she was just really good at hiding it from him. Secretly, he guessed it was the latter.

Reaching out a hand to her cheek, he told her, “I don’t gotta take it, if you don’t want me to go.”

Smiling at him, Inara tried to wave away his concern. Leaning forward, she pressed a light kiss to his mouth and said, “Don’t be silly. If the money’s good and it’s legal, than of course you should take it.” Not quite sure he believed how easy this had been, Mal’s eyes darted about skeptically, before finally coming back to rest on his beautiful wife’s face. “You’re sure?”

Rolling her eyes at him a bit, she said patiently, “Of course, Mal.” Flopping down on the bed, she rolled away from him and added, “I have managed to survive without you before.”

Glad he could not see the fear she knew she could no longer conceal, Inara heard him chuckle a bit as he slid towards her and wrapped a strong arm around her waist, pulling her back into him. “Yeah, well don’t get used to it, dong ma?” he asked, his breath tickling her ear as he placed a kiss to her cheek.

She rubbed his arm gently in response and was soon comforted by the sound of his steady breathing as sleep claimed him. Blinking back the few tears that had formed at the corner of her eyes, Inara tried to quell her rising fear. She knew that besides the money, what Mal was really missing was the freedom that his life on Serenity had always afforded him. While he had been fairly happy over the past few months, staying put, she knew that being out in the black, at the helm of his ship did more for his spirit than just about anything. And Inara was not so selfish as to want to take that away from her husband – not when it was something he so desperately needed and part of the reason she’d fallen in love with him in the first place. With a bit of a sigh, she cuddled herself tight against his warm body, spending most of the night convincing herself that everything would be fine.

***

As Inara and Mimi approached Kaylee’s room the next day, they could hear the sounds of laughter and merriment flooding into the hall. With bemused grins on their own faces, Inara held her girl a little tighter to her hip and pushed open the door, knocking lightly in the process.

Kaylee and Rylee both looked up from their seats on the bed, having been caught make riotously funny faces at one another. With wide grins, they greeted their visitors, even as Kaylee’s face clouded with just a bit of trepidation at seeing Inara.

Rylee however would not be deterred. “Aun’ ‘Nara,” she squealed, getting up and running across the bed to greet the woman. Placing Mimi down, she scooped Rylee up in her arms and kissed the girl fiercely all over her face getting giggles from her.

As her mother occupied herself with Rylee, Mimi crawled across the bed to Kaylee’s side and whispered, “I missed you Auntie Kaylee,” and then threw her arms around the woman’s expanding middle.

With a few tears in her eyes, Kaylee leaned down and pressed a kiss into the girl’s hair and whispered, “I missed you too, baby.”

“We both missed you.”

The voice brought Kaylee’s eyes up and she locked them on Inara’s as her friend sat on the edge of the bed, a still giddy Rylee in her lap. With another smile, Kaylee reached out a hand and squeezed one of Inara’s feeling ten times better at seeing her friend’s smiling face. Holding the gaze for a moment more, Kaylee finally cleared her throat and looked back down into Mimi’s little face. “And to what do I owe the pleasure of your company, little miss Meems?” she asked, tickling the girl a bit in the side.

Giggling, Mimi wiggled out of her touch and pulled the paper she’d been clutching to tightly out to show Kaylee. “I drew you somethin’,” she said proudly, holding it up with both hands so Kaylee could get a good look.

Staring at the picture, Kaylee had absolutely no idea what it was, and she considered herself a fair connoisseur of the works of early childhood. Completely baffled, she leaned out a bit and caught Inara’s gaze from around the sheet of paper. Raising an eyebrow, Inara stifled a giggle as she recognized Kaylee’s look for help. “It’s a beautiful drawing of your new babies, isn’t it auntie Kaylee?”

“Oh, yes, it is,” Kaylee agreed, catching on and looking back at the image. Now that she knew what to look for, she could see the heads and arms and legs. Taking the drawing from her niece, Kaylee kissed her on the cheek and said, “It’s beautiful, baby, thank you.”

Smiling proudly still, Mimi crawled back to her mother’s side and brought her mouth to her ear. Whispering something Kaylee could not make out, she offered Inara a bemused grin which her friend returned. “Well, I suppose that would be all right, but why don’t you ask Rylee first?”

At the sound of her name, Rylee’s head jerked up. “Ask me what?”

“Can we go play with your dollies?” Mimi asked, her eyes cast down and her hands clasped demurely behind her back.

Not at all certain what the big deal was, Rylee reached for the girl’s hand as she slid down off the bed, and said, “Sure,” before pulling them both from the room, leaving the two adults alone.

Watching them go, Inara turned back to look at Kaylee who was staring at the drawing Mimi had brought. Rounding the bed so she could sit closer to her friend, Inara smiled sheepishly at the image and told her, “She’s only three. I’m sure they won’t have three arms and no noses.”

Kaylee met her gaze with her own twinkle in her eye and sighing set the drawing aside. “I’m sure they won’t,” she agreed quietly, resting back a bit, as Inara sat at her side.

The two women sat in silence for a moment, neither one quite sure how to start the conversation they so desperately needed to have. But finally, knowing it was her duty as the strain in their relationship was her fault, Inara spoke up. “I’m sorry I haven’t been by to see you, Kaylee,” she started quietly, her eyes not meeting her friend’s.

Waving her apology away, Kaylee closed her hand over Inara’s and smiled at her. “It’s okay. I haven’t been a whole lot o’ fun to see lately.”

Inara returned the grin, even though she knew she didn’t so readily deserve Kaylee’s forgiveness. “Maybe so, but that only means I should have come sooner.” Raising her tear-filled eyes to her friend, she asked, “Please forgive me for being so selfish.”

Blinking back her own tears, Kaylee sat up a bit again and asked her, “Selfish? ‘Nara, that’s the craziest thing I ever heard. You ain’t been selfish.” Pausing she made sure Inara’s eyes met hers as she added, “You been grievin’ and I understand that.”

A tear or two fell down Inara’s cheeks as her eyes guiltily drifted to Kaylee’s growing belly. Reaching out a light hand, Inara touched it gently and looked back to Kaylee’s understanding face. “Are you all right?” she asked quietly.

Kaylee nodded and then thought better of it. With a heavy sigh, she leaned back and told her friend, “It ain’t been fun, ‘Nara, I can tell you that.”

Smiling empathetically, Inara asked, “What’s been happening?”

Kaylee started to recount some of her less unpleasant symptoms from the past few months and only stopped as Inara’s eyes widened with shock. Sucking in a deep breath, Inara grasped both of Kaylee’s hands and murmured, “Oh mei mei, I had no idea. What does Simon say? Are you going to be all right?”

Plastering a smile on her face that she did not feel, Kaylee lied, “Right an’ shiny. He worries a bit, but you know Simon,” she added, wishing she could so readily dismiss her husband’s concern and knowing that she shouldn’t. And she also tried to stymie her guilt at keeping the severity of her symptoms from him. She didn’t want to, but she had seen the way his head hung every time she felt bad and Kaylee could not handle seeing the guilt he felt for loving her.

“You’re sure, mei mei?” Inara asked, her eyebrows raising with disbelief. “You really should tell Simon, you know. He’s your doctor and your husband.” Reaching out for her friend’s hand, she told her, “He loves you, very much.”

Nodding, Kaylee blinked back a few tears and said quietly, “I know, but it’s all gonna be fine.” Pausing she patted her belly. “I have done this ‘fore,” she reminded her, getting a smile from the woman.

“And quite well,” Inara agreed, leaning forward and kissing her friend on the cheek. Sitting back from her a bit, Inara noted the slight fear that still colored her friend’s features. Trying to think of something that might cheer her, Inara suggested, “How about I give you a manicure?”

Looking at her sorry excuse for fingernails, Kaylee turned a wry expression on her, even as she held up her hands for Inara to see. “You sure? I don’t think they can be saved.”

Laughing, Inara waved away her concern and the two women sat, enjoying each other’s company for the first time in months and wondering the whole time what had ever kept them apart.