BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - ADVENTURE

DEBXENA

Never Kill a Boy on the First Date
Saturday, June 12, 2004

Mal and Jayne get a drink after Jayne joins the crew. Fun action bar misadventure, written in script style.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3650    RATING: 7    SERIES: FIREFLY

CHARACTERS: Mal / Jayne RATING: PG - fun action bar misadventure DISCLAIMER: Joss frequently kills boys on the first date. I write about 'em instead. SPOILERS: Out of Gas flashbacks (drabble set pre-series) FEEDBACK: Tell me - would you kill a boy on the first date? NOTES: Requested by astarte99, part of the Fireflyfic Challenge I've never written in script style before, so bear with me. THANKS: to FuzzyBen and kallysten for beta work. *mwah!*

EXT. SERENITY - RAMP/CARGO BAY - DAY

On the open ramp of Serenity, MAL, ZOE and JAYNE stand facing the dust. MARCO can be seen hobbling off in the distance.

JAYNE Mustang Bar over Mineral Wells way is a good place to drink cheap, but it's a better place for a bar-fight. Someone there's always lookin' for a brawl, 'specially with the days as long n' hot n' dry as they are at the moment.

MAL Well, I could do with a good punch-up. Being held at gun-point gets on my nerves a mite. Being held at gun-point by you - well, that don't make it no better. 'Sides, I'd like to see how you do in a fight. (pause) Zoe - why don't you stay here with Wash and have yourself some time alone. Jayne, you an' I'll take the four-wheel over to Mineral Wells, and get to know each other.

ZOE (sarcastically) Aye-aye Cap'n! You two boys behave yourselves now, y'hear? (beat) Oh, and Jayne - if you're thinkin' of double-crossing us and putting a hurtin' on the Captain, here .... don't even try.

Jayne looks surprised, then grins.

INT. MUSTANG BAR - CORNER BOOTH

Mal and Jayne both have jugs of beer in their hands, as they sit across from each other.

MAL (In interview fashion) So how long you been with those bandits, Jayne Cobb? And what kind of a name is Jayne, anyway?

JAYNE It's a manly name, is what it is - call me a girl and I'll put you through the table. T' answer y'r question though, I been with Marco a few months now - it was a job.

MAL You going to shoot me like you did Marco, soon as you get a better offer?

JAYNE The offer'd have to be a good one t' do that.

MAL (beat) Well, I'm satisfied. Want to play a game of pool?

Mal and Jayne both drain their jugs, and drop them to the table simultaneously.

INT. MUSTANG BAR - BY POOL TABLE

Mal and Jayne are standing to the left. Jayne is chalking the end of a cue. On the opposite side stand their opponents - POOL PLAYER 1 and POOL PLAYER 2 - who are grizzly and dusty, looking like they've had a bit to drink.

MAL Gentlemen, this here is Jayne, and I am Mal. We'll be playin' against you this evening - for money, of course.

POOL PLAYER 1 Jayne, huh? What's a girlie-girl like you doin' in a place like this?

JAYNE (Pauses chalking, looks over at pool player) She me?

POOL PLAYER 1 I aksed what a girl's gonna do in a place like this? You think you're gonna beat us, girl-man?

JAYNE (grimaces) I sure intend to, bao bei.

Jayne swipes Pool Player 1 with cue, who goes down. Pool Player 2 takes a swing at Mal, who ducks and punches him in the stomach.

INT. MUSTANG BAR - ROOM VIEW

Bar fight spreads, furniture knocked over and men punched out. Shouting and yells as cues and chairs are used. Mal and Jayne remain on their feet as they fight, while opponents go down around them.

INT. SERENITY - COMMON AREA

The next morning. Zoe is preparing her breakfast when Jayne and Mal stumble in, looking the worse for wear.

ZOE (looking them over) Are you two alright? Those are going to be quite some bruises there.

Jayne and Mal look at each other, exchange sheepish grins.

JAYNE Never bin bett'r. Bar fight was just what I needed. Well, that n' a drink.

MAL He's alright, Zoe. Certainly handled himself well. He'll be good on the crew - and useful too.

ZOE (nods) I'll bet. You two really bonded, huh? (beat) I'd say that was a helluva first date you two had.

Jayne splutters, tries to form words, fails. He slumps in a chair, leaning back.

JAYNE If that was the first date, I think the second should be on a different planet. We're not very welcome here anymore. (laughs)

COMMENTS

Saturday, June 12, 2004 1:23 PM

AMDOBELL


I liked. Very funny and that last line was wonderful. Well done, Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Sunday, June 13, 2004 8:05 AM

RAWDEAL


Nice one

Friday, September 2, 2005 9:15 AM

BELLONA


so THAT'S how mal and jayne's first date went, i always wondered...

Thursday, December 21, 2006 8:16 AM

VALERIEBEAN


Love Mal's response "Well I'm satisfied." Also laughed out loud at the end when "Jayne sputters, tries to form words, fails." Motivation felt somewhat contrived. I think even if Mal and Jayne were looking for a fight, it's not something they'd say out loud- at least not before they found the fight. Still some very fun dialogue!


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