A/N: See? All those shiny comments on chap. 10 means chap. 11 comes early! Please keep responding.

Quick warning: This chapter and the next are a bit dark in reference to Rylee and her kidnapping. Nothing overtly graphic, but if you don't like to read about kids in emotional pain, you might want to skim those sections.

Thanks again to Leiasky for the beta.

And please continue to read and respond - you guys have got me hooked now!

***

A NEW DAY, ch. 11: Tortured Minds

***

Hours later, Simon sat at Kaylee’s side, her small hand in his. He could not tear his eyes away from her and he had tried. He had tried to check on the newborns, tried to comfort his son, tried even just to take a quick walk outside if only to get a breath of fresh air, but each time, the minute he wandered from her, he was drawn back, like a magnet and he found he had no choice but to sit beside her and wait for those beautiful green eyes to open.

She was still paler than he’d like, even though the plasma transfusion had been a success. Her vital signs had stabilized a few hours ago and with a heavy sigh, Simon edged closer to her sleeping form and rested a gentle hand to her face. Stroking his thumb along her forehead absentmindedly, he began to talk to her.

“You have to wake up, Kaylee,” he whispered, his voice still breaking with the emotion he was trying so hard to deny. “I really need you to wake up. I need to see that smile of yours.” He tried to smile at her himself, but it was a weak and watery grin and he knew it. Sitting just a bit closer, he scooted the stool to her side and leaned his head down so his lips were at her ear. “I can’t go,” he murmured to her, wishing the guilt he felt at his admission was not so debilitating. “I can’t do it, bao bei, I won’t. I’m not going to leave you, ever. I love you, Kaylee.”

Squeezing his eyes shut against the tears he felt forming, he pressed a kiss to her cheek before nuzzling his face against hers. He was sitting there, like that, one arm around her and his face buried in her hair when Inara found him.

Placing a light hand on his shoulder, Simon jumped at her touch and turned an embarrassed expression to his friend. Smiling sheepishly to his friend, he looked back to Kaylee as Inara circled the opposite side of her prone form and told him quietly, “Mal and I got Daniel down for a nap. He’s at Winnie and Thom’s.”

Nodding his thanks to her, Simon could still not trust his voice and so he continued to stare at his wife, his thumb rubbing along the back of her hand, gently, comfortingly. “Will she be all right?” she asked him quietly, her own hand falling to Kaylee’s and gripping it lightly.

“She should be,” he said haltingly, clearing his throat in an effort to make his voice stronger. “The transfusion was a success, I expect her to wake any time now.”

Inara watched Simon from the corner of her eye, his distraught profile tearing at her heart. She had never, in her entire life, seen two people more in love that he and Kaylee; never. Ruefully, she thought that even what she and Mal shared paled in comparison to her mei mei and Simon’s love for one another and their family and she could tell that all of this, the entire situation was killing Simon in a way no one else could possibly understand. “And then what?” she finally asked him quietly, not surprised as he inhaled sharply at her question, his body stiffening at the implication.

With a weary heart and the quietest of voices, he finally admitted, “I can’t leave her.” Inara’s eyes filled with tears at his words, knowing how incredibly difficult it must have been for Simon to say that. They both knew what that simple statement implied – if he stayed on Harvest with Kaylee, he could very well by sacrificing his daughter to a fate worse than death.

Turning pained eyes to the other woman, Simon felt his heart break as he said again, “I can’t. I know I should, I know that it’s the right thing to do, for Rylee, but …” He allowed his voice to die, the thought of his daughter causing more tears to burn at his eyes. Sighing heavily, he looked back to Kaylee and caressed her cheek, murmuring, “I’m a horrible father.”

“Simon,” Inara said, her own voice full of exasperation at his willingness to berate himself. Reaching across Kaylee’s form, Inara squeezed his shoulder and got him to hold her gaze. “You can’t think that way. You are stuck in an incredibly difficult position. No one can blame you for thinking of Kaylee and the twins first.”

“But they should,” he told her coldly, his whole body trembling as he thought again of his daughter, not only at the mercy of the blue hands but of his father as well. “I should be stronger than this, I know. I thought I could do it. I thought I could leave her behind and know that it was right, but …” He stopped again as more of his emotion overwhelmed him and he swallowed thickly to find his voice. He knew how much she’d already suffered that year he was gone, when she’d had to carry and birth their son without him. Resting his hand back to his wife’s pale cheek, he murmured, “I can’t leave her, not now, not ever.”

Inara watched Simon struggle to control his emotions and she turned from him, trying to give him privacy. Looking behind her, she saw the small forms of his newest children and had to smile through her tears at them. They were hope in the middle of all of this despair and Inara wished that Kaylee and Simon both would soon be able to celebrate that.

“I’ve already made her suffer enough,” Simon said quietly, pulling Inara back from her musings and turning to regard him. “She won’t make it through this, I know that now. What kind of man would I be if I willingly turned my back on her and the twins?”

Inara moved around to his side and knelt beside him, placing a light hand on his arm. Her own eyes clouding with tears, she told him sternly, “You are an incredibly loving and giving man who is trusting his sister and his mother to get his daughter back. Kaylee’s health should be your priority right now. Her health and that of those babies over there,” she said, nodding her head in the direction of the incubators.

Casting a sad gaze to his newest son and daughter, Simon sighed heavily and murmured, “We haven’t even named them yet.”

“Well, then I think that’s the first thing you and Kaylee should discuss when she wakes up,” Inara said, rising and trying to affect a casual tone. “We can’t just keep calling them him and her.”

Simon smiled wearily at her comment and nodded his head once. “I’m still going to have to think of something.” Looking back to Inara’s kind face, he reminded her, “My father’s shuttle will be here in four days, whether I’m going to get on it or not.”

Inara nodded once, having already considered that fact. Pressing a kiss into Simon’s hair, she squeezed his shoulder before turning to leave. “You let Mal and I worry about that shuttle.” Her hand on the door, she turned back to regard him and looking to her friend’s motionless form with fresh tears, added quietly, “You just take care of her.”

Simon nodded and heard her leave, turning back to stare at Kaylee. His heart full of fresh grief and undeniable guilt, he allowed his head to sink to her shoulder and he finally cried.

***

It was three days into their trip back to Osiris that River’s tenuous grasp on reality faltered. As Jayne awoke, his body still weary from the stress he felt, he glanced around the room they’d been given, looking for his wife. She wasn’t beside him as he’d wanted her to be, and blinking sleepy eyes, he finally caught sight of her, sitting in a far corner of the room sobbing.

With a grimace and just a bit of fear, Jayne rolled out of bed and padded over to her, reaching out a hand and placing it lightly against her head. “River, baby, come back to bed.”

Shaking her head furiously, River allowed it to hit against the wall at her side and Jayne immediately pulled her forward, not wanting her to injure herself. Struggling away from him, River worked herself into an even smaller ball and whimpered, “Go away, Jayne.”

Setting his jaw, Jayne refused to be dismissed so easily. Pulling on her arms with a bit more force than he generally would, he brought her into an embrace even as she fought against him with all her might. Unwilling to let go, Jayne sat back with her heavily and wrapped her up tight, listening with his own heavy heart as she sobbed and berated him.

“Let me go, Jayne, let me go!” Her voice was loud and piercing and Jayne winced at the sound despite himself. This was so very, very bad. Trying to comfort her, Jayne rocked her a bit, whispering into her hair as she continued to cry heavily. “I did this,” she began to murmur, once her sobs had subsided. “I did this to Rylee. I hurt her. I hurt Simon and Kaylee and Daniel. Everyone I love.”

“No, you didn’t,” Jayne told her harshly, pulling her away from him and cupping her face in his hands. Forcing her to meet his gaze, he told her quietly, “You ain’t hurtin’ them and you didn’t mean for this to happen.” She averted her eyes and began to cry again and Jayne reminded her, “An’ it don’t matter anyway. The only thing that matters is that we get her back home. Dong ma?”

“What if we can’t?” she whispered fearfully, her eyes latching onto his and causing him to shiver with the intensity of her gaze. “What if we’re too late?”

“Rylee’s stronger than that an’ you know it,” he said in way of answer, swallowing past the lump in his throat. Truthfully, the possibility that there might be nothing to bring home to Simon and Kaylee had crossed his mind a few times in the past few days. “She’s got yours and Simon’s and Kaylee’s blood runnin’ through her veins and that means she can survive this.” Kissing her forehead, he pulled her back to him and whispered, “You just gotta believe that.”

River was too tired, too emotionally spent to try and deny his words. The fact was, regardless of whether or not they found Rylee alive, they would bring her home. But River knew that if the worst happened, she would never forgive herself, and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference what anybody said.

***

Inara was not surprised to find Walt, Marie, Mal and Zoe sitting up around the kitchen table when she returned from the clinic, steaming mugs of coffee in front of them despite the lateness of the hour. Moving to get her own, she took a quick sip of the hot liquid and then sank into a seat by Mal, smiling gratefully to him as he slid his hand over hers.

Looking back to them all, she said quietly, “Simon cannot get on that shuttle.”

Nodding once, Zoe said, “That’s what we’re all were thinkin’.” Allowing her gaze to drift back down to the table, she added, “O’ course how exactly we’re gonna prevent it, I ain’t so sure.”

“There has to be a way,” Inara said quickly, her tone harsh, as her mind drifted back to the overwrought Simon she’d just left minutes before. “He can’t go.”

“We know, darlin’, truly.” Mal squeezed her hand and when she turned to look at him, she saw the same determination from earlier in the day set into his features. “We’re just tryin’ to work a plan.”

“What if we run?” Walt’s gravelly voice disrupted the quiet that had again descended upon them, and as all eyes turned to him, he explained. “What if we all get on Serenity again and just take off?”

“You know that’ll just mean more heartache for you and yours,” Mal reminded him, leaning forward and cradling his mug. “Not that I don’t think it’s a noble plan, but we know what the Feds are capable of and I don’t want to see you all having to relocate again.”

Walt nodded once, having guessed that would be Mal’s reaction and again sat back as silence fell. “We could run though,” Zoe commented, looking to Mal as he gave her a puzzled gaze. Sitting forward, she elaborated, “I ain’t sayin’ it’s the best plan, but if Simon takes off, they’re gonna have to follow, ain’t they?”

Shrugging slightly, Mal wasn’t at all sure he knew where his friend was going with her plan, but he decided to try and follow. “I ‘spose, if’n it’s just him that they want.”

“Right, so we take Simon on Serenity, get up into the black and play a bit of cat an’ mouse.”

“Yes, but how long do you think that can go on, before they tire of the game and come back here to threaten Simon into submission?” Inara asked, looking to Zoe with a quizzical gaze. “We can’t risk their retaliation.”

Zoe nodded at the woman’s assessment, knowing she was right – apparently Inara had picked up quite a few things from Mal in all the time they’d been together. Waiting for something else to come, it was finally Mal who sat back and told them all, “Look, we ain’t got much choice, so we hold.” Looking to Zoe he watched as a fire of remembrance flickered in her eyes and repeated, “We hold ‘til we get Rylee back.”

“You really want to risk an all out gun battle with the ‘Liance’s men?” she asked him skeptically, knowing it would not be the most foolish thing they had ever done, by far, but still guessing it was right at the top of the list. “You know they ain’t gonna come alone. And we’re down one particularly menacing mercenary and a programmed killer.”

Grimacing at that statement, Mal knew she was right. They were at a severe disadvantage with both Jayne and River gone, but he didn’t see too many other options at this point. “Look, while Gabe may think he’s got all this figured out, I’m bettin’ his overconfidence is gonna ‘cause him to make some pretty decent mistakes. He already thinks he’s got Simon right where he wants him, so he won’t have planned for a fight. Whether the blue hands have or not is another matter entirely and we’re just gonna have to hope they ain’t.”

“That’s a pretty big gamble,” she told him truthfully, holding his gaze and trying to ignore the worried one that Inara was darting between them both.

“Yeah, well, you know me and odds,” he told her wryly, taking another drink of his now cold coffee and grimacing at the bitter taste. “Look, it’s late and we all need some rest. Tomorrow, we can talk with Thom and Winnie, get their feelings on the matter, but for right now, I’d like to go to bed.”

Noting the dismissal, they all rose and slowly left the room, leaving Mal and Inara behind. Moving to rinse the dirty cups, Mal stilled her hands and led her wordlessly from the kitchen and up to their room. Once he had shut the door behind them, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, hard and deep.

Pulling back for air, Inara murmured, “What was that for?”

“For bein’ you,” he whispered back, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. “C’mon,” he said finally, his cheek still buried against her hair. “Out with it.”

Leaning back to regard him curiously, she smirked and asked, “Out with what?”

“Oh, I know you hate my idea, so I figure you might as well tell me now.” He returned her small smile and then kissed her again.

Grinning at him, Inara sighed heavily and then moved away from him, reaching for her nightgown and slowly undoing the clasps of her dress. Turning her back to him, she told him quietly, “I don’t hate your idea, Mal, I just hate this whole situation.”

He watched her for a moment feeling his desire for her rising as she shrugged out of her silk dress and pulled her nightgown on. Tearing his eyes from her, he moved to change himself and when they again met they were lying next to each other in bed, their heads on the same pillow as they gazed into each other’s eyes. It wasn’t often they got quiet moments like this, especially in the past few months and Mal had to admit, he liked it.

Kissing him softly, Inara murmured against his mouth, “I just want this to be over. For all of us.” He kissed her again and this time did not miss the few tears that had fallen from her eyes when he again regarded her. “I’m scared, Mal.”

Pulling her tight to him, Mal cradled the back of her head in his hand and kissed her fiercely, feeling Inara relax against him and sigh into his touch. Causing his need for her to heighten, he worked his mouth over hers, pulling at her lip with his teeth, even as his hands ran along her back caressing every inch of her that he could find.

“I don’t want to be scared,” she whispered hotly against his ear, as he dropped his mouth to her collarbone and started to nip at the skin there. “Love me, please.”

Her pleading tone only urging him to continue, Mal did his damnedest to love his wife throughout the night.

***

Rylee was so alone. The room she was in was gray and dingy and cold. Looking around she could find nothing that hinted at warmth or comfort and with fresh tears in her eyes, she curled herself into a ball and rocked back against the corner.

“Rylee?”

Looking up at the sound of the voice, she blinked back tears and her heart soared as she saw her mama before her, reaching out a hand to her. “Mama?” she whispered fearfully, unable to believe that she wasn’t dreaming.

“It’s me, baby,” her mother’s form said, smiling at her with that knowing grin that Rylee remembered. “Don’tcha you wanna come home?”

Nodding eagerly, Rylee rose and took her hand, ready to follow wherever she may lead. Turning back to regard the little girl at her side, her mother told her, “But first, you have to do something.”

With trusting eyes and an expectant look she asked innocently, “What?”

Looking behind her, her mother drew her gaze to her brother’s tiny and beaten form in the opposite corner of the room. Suddenly, a gun had materialized in her mother’s hand and handing it to her daughter she said simply, “Kill him.”

Wrenching her hand from her mother’s grasp, she backed away with more tears in her eyes. “No, no, no,” she murmured over and over again, feeling her back hit the cold wall. Her knees giving out she sank to the floor and pulled her body up tight, trying to disappear into nothing.

“You can do it, sweetheart.” This new voice belonged to her father and she turned suddenly to see him standing over her, his face full of disappointment.

“Get away!” She screamed loud and long and it was the first sound that the agents could register on their instruments. They watched with clinical interest as the girl’s tiny body writhed on the cold metal table. Her blood, having been injected with just the right amount of hallucinogens, was running fast now as her heart pumped quickly, her mind and body tensing against the images she was being forced to confront. Continuing to check her monitors, the agents did their best to ignore her screams.

“Get away! You ain’t my daddy!” She was sobbing so heavily now, she could not breathe and she felt her vision blacking as her brain fought to get oxygen.

“It’s okay, Ry,” her brother’s strained voice said from across the room. “I won’t hate you.”

“No, Danny, no!” She was still screaming, still writhing with pain and heartache, when her aunt stepped out from beside her father and rushed to her side.

“Rylee, baby, can you hear me?”

Looking up to her, Rylee backed out of her touch and muttered, “You ain’t real. Go away.”

Swallowing back tears, River recognized the effects of the Alliance’s initial handiwork and did her best to keep a level head. She didn’t have a lot of time. It had been a risk to even try and reach out to her niece, she was still so far away, but the intensity of the girl’s pain had drawn River’s spirit to hers in a second and now, she tried to think of a way to comfort the girl.

Looking around her, River could see none of what Rylee did and she could only guess at the images her distraught and drugged mind had conjured to work her into such a state. Holding her face in her hands, she told her, “Rylee, I am real, and I’m coming to get you. You have to be strong.”

Shaking her head from side to side, Rylee’s eyes were still full of tears, blurring her aunt’s face. “I can’t, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” River told her sternly, holding her face steady. “You can, Rylee, you have to. Do you understand me?”

As if seeing her for the first time, Rylee finally focused her brown eyes on her aunt and nodded once. “You’re really comin’?”

Smiling at her through her own tears, River told her quietly, “I really am, but you have to hold on. And you can’t tell them anything, understand?”

The little girl nodded again and just as she was about to throw her arms around her aunt, she watched her fade from view. “Aun’ River,” she wailed, reaching for her. “Aun’ River, come back! Please!”

With a start River awoke, tears running down her cheeks. Curled onto her side in a ball, she started to sob, remembering Rylee’s fear and pain from the dream state she’d just been in. They were hurting her, just as they’d hurt River all those years ago, but Rylee was so much younger than she had been. River didn’t know if she could even begin to imagine what those drugs and techniques would do to a four-year-old, knowing what they had done to a teenager.

Burying her face into her pillow, she sobbed again, and then felt Jayne’s strong arm encircle her waist. Rolling her towards him, he brought her tight to his chest and she clung to him fiercely, needing something solid to keep her grounded against Rylee’s residual pain. “They’re hurting her, Jayne,” she wailed to him, unable to get the image of her niece’s tortured face from her mind. “We don’t have a lot of time.”

Unable to say anything that would bring her comfort, Jayne simply held her fast and wished for all of this to be over.

***

TBC