Disclaimer: Not mine. Everything is Joss's.

Author's Note: I apologize that this took me so long! Here it is, I'm not entirely thrilled with it, but see what you think (and please let me know);

Epilogue

A bag settled loudly on the floor. A hulking shadow loomed in over the screen where Nurse Rei was inputting data from last night’s shift. Knowing full well who it was standing at his desk, Rei slowly finished the entirety of the sentence he was typing with his stylus before looking up with a calm professional mien.

“May I help you?”

“I’m waitin’ to hear you tell this girl a’ mine that I don’t snore.” The patient of the previous night, Jayne Cobb, gestured at the dainty ‘girl’ who was dwarfed beside his large form. “Then we’ll go.”

The nurse set down the stylus and leaned back in his chair. He’d had a long night, and he was tired, due in no small way to the patient standing before him. The man had finally fallen asleep, thanks to the intervention of his, um, girlfriend. But this morning Mr. Cobb had been more querulous and snappy than he had the night before. A laceration was found on his hand, presumably from the fall out of bed. When the nurse had tried to disinfect and dress it, he’d been rudely rebuffed. The patient had then proceeded to complain about everything; the distance to the shower room, the temperature of the water, and how long it was taking to get out of “this dump”, as he termed the state-of-the-art facility. And as for the howling that had ensued when the electrodes had to be pulled out of his chest hair – better not to remember that.

Well, no one was asking the nurse – no one ever did – but he had a few complaints too. He crossed his arms over the ID tag that read ‘Nurse Rei’ and leveled a deadpan gaze at Jayne.

“Oh, you snore, Mr. Cobb. You definitely snore.”

“See?” Mr. Cobb swung a triumphant look to his – whatever she was, who’d stayed the night with him. “If you’d a’ listened to me, we wouldn’t – wait. What?” He turned a confused look back to the other man.

Viewing the displeasure on his uncooperative patient’s face, the nurse gave in to temptation and followed his un-nursey bent to twist the knife a bit.

“You snore louder than anyone I’ve had in here in the past month. I have no idea how the little lady managed to sleep.” He turned to River solicitously. “We do offer earplugs in our complimentary family package. You’ll find them in a small yellow box.”

“Thank-you,” River murmured, ducking her head to hide her grin. Unbeknownst to the healthcare worker, her spine had stiffened somewhat at the condescending “little lady”. But she was also enjoying Jayne’s disgruntlement. And her heart had hitched curiously at Jayne calling her his girl. Last night, she’d been his sweetheart. She was really enjoying hearing these things come from his lips.

“No.” Jayne was saying flatly in response to the nurse’s assertion. “I don’t snore.”

“I have the capture here.” Rei pulled it from a pile and across his desk. “Would you like to see?” Please let me show you. He knew his glee was probably poorly hidden, but he was feeling just unprofessional enough not to care.

Mr. Cobb gestured brusquely for him to pass it over. He did so, and sat back once more to watch the reaction.

The recording had been edited down to the pertinent sections. Mr. Cobb turned it on. Watching, Nurse Rei didn’t bother to restrain his smirk at the expression on his patient’s face. The large, perpetually annoyed and annoying man stared with patent disbelief at the image of himself in the hospital bed, eyes closed and mouth slightly open, a stream of cyclic noise issuing forth. The young, intense woman was shown tucked into his side, her own eyes wide open, because who could sleep through that din?

The patient was beginning to growl. Rei had never actually heard a person do that before; it was an intimidating sound, and a little apprehension began to adulterate his enjoyment of the other’s befuddlement. After less than a minute Mr. Cobb flung the capture back at him. The nurse caught it smoothly and then produced the other records made during the night. Spreading them out, he solicitously began to interpret their findings.

“What’s this?” Jayne was pointing at readout of brain wave and EKG patterns. There were squiggly lines towards the beginning that were much wilder than farther on. Nurse Rei pursed his lips.

“That is artifact from your, ah, restless period.” When Mr. Cobb scowled but said nothing, Rei pushed a little more. “This section here is where you fell out of the bed, and we had to replace the electrodes.”

Ms. Tam smothered a laugh, he was certain. Mr. Cobb only glared more ferociously. The lines of that expression seemed to be well-accustomed ones, and Rei speculated happily that the man would have some very unattractive wrinkles in a few more years.

“I plan to be an impediment to that process,” Ms. Tam said, quite out of the blue. Rei swung a puzzled gaze her way but she was employed with separating out another piece of readout.

“What about this?” she asked, and her voice held concern. Rei looked it over.

“This indicates the level of oxygen in your” – he had to pause, still unable to come up with a descriptive word for what his rough, uncouth patient might be to this lively but cultured person. “- in Mr. Cobb’s blood, throughout the night. As you can see, it drops as low as 83% in some places.”

“That doesn’t sound like a good thing,” she said softly. Mr. Cobb shifted on his feet. If his scowl became any fiercer – well, Rei was unable to imagine that it could become any fiercer.

“No, those are lower levels than we want to see. Intervention is certainly indicated. Mr. Cobb does have sleep apnea. He had apneic periods – where he stopped breathing – for a total of eighty-four times, last night.”

“Why?” Mr. Cobb finally asked. Despite the dangerous air that rode him like a shroud, his voice was somehow pitiful. Rei assumed his soothing nurse air again as he produced his final piece of evidence, unrolling it before them.

“Mr. Cobb, have you ever had an injury to your nose, such as a fracture?”

The man just looked at him as though he was the greatest idiot who had ever breathed air. The young woman, Ms. Tam, giggled softly. Taking a second look at his bad-tempered, obviously disreputable patient, Nurse Rei admitted it was a rather stupid question. Of course the man had had his nose broken, probably innumerable times.

“Er, yes.” He cleared his throat while Mr. Cobb smirked. “Well, this” – he pointed to the diagnostic image they’d taken the night before -“shows that you have a deviated septum. And here”- he moved his finger slightly – “your soft tissues have, as a result, prolapsed into your airway.”

He could tell Mr. Cobb had no idea what he was being told, and that his frustration level was rising. Large fists –ridiculously large, really -- were clenching on the desk. Nurse Rei took an unconscious step back; he just looked so mean. Ms. Tam, however, reached up with an utter lack of unease and touched an elegant finger to the decidedly inelegant appendage in question.

“The middle wall in your nose, here,” she said, “has been pushed to one side. It has made some of the tissue of your nose move, too, so that it gets in the way of your breathing.” She traced a very gentle hand up that nose once, inexplicably tenderly. Nurse Rei cleared his throat uncomfortably. It was such a strange sight, the slight young thing handling the large untamed man with gentleness. And even more strangely, it worked. Mr. Cobb was noticeably calmer - gentled - when he turned back toward the desk.

“So, what can you do about it?”

The nurse reached to add yet another item to the growing collection before him. “We can recommend a number of excellent surgeons, on this world or most of those within a week’s flight.”

“Surgeons? You mean like – surgery?”

Nurse Rei nodded.

Jayne Cobb shook his head. And he turned and walked off, without another word.

Ms. Tam hurriedly collected their copies of the testing results and the list of recommended surgeons, stowing them in her bag. She asked politely for a copy of the payment receipt, and even thanked him, before hurrying off after her – boyfriend? Lover? Rei still couldn’t determine what to call them. And he couldn’t figure out why he cared, either, except that they were such a strange couple.

But that word, at least, fit. They were definitely a couple. __________________________________

River caught up with Jayne just outside the clinic’s doors. They walked together silently to the shuttle that would transport them back to the port where Serenity waited. There was quiet during the ride. River was caught up in her own worry over the test results and how she was going to convince Jayne that he needed to do something about his problem.

So she jumped a bit in surprise when he spoke as they exited the shuttle.

“Guess I won’t be seein’ ya tonight, then.” It was said gruffly, staring at the ground. River frowned.

“Why not?”

“Said ya wouldn’t sleep with a man what snored. They can’t fix me; figured ya wouldn’t be comin’ to m’ bunk no more.”

River winced with the twinge of guilt that snaked into her chest. “That was a tactical untruth. I said it to maneuver you.”

They hadn’t moved, so he couldn’t stop walking, but River nevertheless caught an impression of movement ceasing. He was suddenly still, in a way that betrayed his non-motion of a moment earlier as having been unrest.

“You mean, you’ll be there? Tonight?”

“Yes,” River whispered. She wasn’t looking at him. “If you want me.”

“I want you.” Jayne sighed. “Just don’t know what I’m gonna do about it.”

“I don’t either.”

“You don’t know what I’m gonna to do ‘bout wanting you? Or you don’t know what you’re gonna do?” Now that they were out of the clinic, Jayne felt a little more at ease, despite their topic, and he let himself smile a bit.

“Either one. Both.” There was an insect of some sort across the way. River stared after it. Then she assumed a mock-tragic expression.

“Lack of oxygen. Brain damage. It really does explain so many things about you, Jayne.” With a giggle, she avoided his lunge for her; they made it part of the way across the port until he caught up to her. Then she stopped and stood while he wrapped big gentle hands around her arms and pulled her awkwardly up against his chest. The bag she carried over her shoulder bumped against her back and pushed her closer. Jayne’s leer down at her was playful.

“Maybe you’re right. I must be damaged. It would help explain why I want you so bad.”

Ahh. River let the cat’s smile leap from her heart to her face.

“Or good.”

“Huh?”

She rubbed her cheek against the cloth of his shirt, and stretched up on her legs. “I want you bad, too. And good. And angry, sad, happy, excited … I want you all the ways I can get you.” She let her arms curve around the sturdy bulk of the man and hug him to her. It was time for honesty. “I want to keep you. We already live dangerously. I don’t want to increase the already high chance that I could lose you.”

Jayne shifted on his feet, once, and slid a hand through the ends of her hair. They were soft and reminded him of the tips of kitten’s tails.

“You’re not gonna.” He blew out a pursed sigh, and avoided her gaze by staring at other interesting parts of her body. If he let himself look at her eyes too long he forgot what he was saying. “I think ya got me. For good.”

Her blood sang at the admission. But --

“I might. I could lose you this way. Blood pressure increases, heart problems develop, from not getting enough true sleep.” She wasn’t getting through to him, she could tell. “Without the surgery, you will need to avoid alcohol. It worsens the symptoms.” Mm, his eyes had narrowed. He didn’t like that one. There had to be something else could she use – oh, yes.

“Libido decreases.”

“What?” He squinted at her, suspiciously. His arms around her had loosened, and she took a step back.

“You lose interest in sex.”

At the look of horror on his face, River felt a swell of triumph. But she wasn’t done yet. She moved in for the kill.

“Don’t you think one surgery would just be easier? Although, you’ve waited this long for me, easily enough – maybe it’s already happening.” She widened concerned eyes at him, and raised her voice slightly. “Are you finding yourself unable to perform?”

Direct hit. Jayne let out a half-roar that drew attention from all directions, while clamping his hand over her mouth. Behind it, her eyes laughed up at him, and he dropped it to give her shoulder a shake. She darted out from under his arm and was away toward the hulk of Serenity, a few slots down across the port. He told himself he wasn’t gonna chase her, but she was so fast – so he picked up his pace and had nearly caught her, when someone in a port maintenance uniform stepped between them.

“Are you all right, ma'am?” He asked, wary eyes on Jayne. The daiguai wasn’t tall, or by any means muscular. Jayne would have simply flung him out of his path, but River laid a hand on her man’s arm.

“I’m fine,” she told the worker calmly, “though I thank you for your concern. We were merely playing.”

“Playing.” Disbelieving eyes assessed the large mercenary’s aggressive posture and frowning features.

“Yes, he plays. Only with me, though.” River smiled serenely, and after a beat the maintenance man nodded once and moved away from the pair.

They were nearly to Serenity when Jayne spoke up again.

“All right, I’ll do it.”

“You will?” River pulled to a stop again. Sighing, so did Jayne. Everyone on the boat would be griping about them taking so long. But he guessed they could all just wait a little longer, considering the brilliance of the idea that’d just popped into his head.

“I’ll do it, as trade.”

“Trade?”

“Yep.” He swung to face her, threaded his thumbs through his belt loops. “I go under the knife for you, you do somethin’ for me.”

River crossed her arms and firmed her lips. “Such as?”

His teeth flashed at her. “Nothing so bad as what I’d be doing. ‘Stead of a laser and a scalpel, I’m thinking a needle for you.”

River tilted her head, trying to follow his thoughts. “A needle? I am not fond of injections, Jayne.”

“You might not mind this so much. I don’t mean drugs. I mean ink.”

River’s head straightened. “You want me to get …” She’d never had one. But the idea, once presented, didn’t sound so bad. It might be fun, to express herself in that fashion.

“Yep.” Jayne was nodding. “A tattoo. One that I pick.”

“Ahh –“ River’s musing on the proposal stopped. Something of Jayne’s choosing? Any number of truly tacky images flashed through her mind.

“I may be willing to trade,” she said slowly, “but the design would have to be something I find appealing.”

Jayne’s lips pursed and his eyes narrowed. “I pick it. You don’t like it, I pick another one. You’ll like one eventually.”

River wasn’t so sure, and he read it in her face.

“Hey. You tryin’ to say you don’t like the ones I have? Picked ‘em all myself. Designed a few, even.”

Oh. How could she have forgotten? While not what she might have chosen for herself, Jayne’s tattoos weren’t tacky. She remembered seeing some of them when she was in his bunk. In fact, she’d thought that more than one of them betrayed an interesting degree of self-awareness on Jayne’s part.

She made her decision abruptly, holding out her hand.

“Very well. I accept your terms, reserving the right of final approval. If I don’t like it, you have to find another.”

“Deal.” Jayne’s hand enfolded hers, pumped it once forcefully, and then pulled her into his side. She didn’t resist. They walked the few remaining yards to the ship in that manner, the large man’s arm around the young woman’s shoulders. They were an eye-catching pair, and drew one or two curious looks. But none that River saw were judgmental or harsh.

It was a lightness, to publicly admit feelings in this way. She tucked her own arm around Jayne’s waist, raised her chin, and as the hatch to the ship lowered she met those few curious gazes with equanimity. This is who I’ve chosen, she told them silently. And he picks me. We’re together because we want to be. This is who we are, and that’s how it is.

“I want to be there when you tell Simon,” Jayne asserted as they walked up the ramp.

“Tell me what?”

Inside the cargo bay, Simon turned towards them. He held a wrench in his hand, but there was a suspicious dearth of grease or dirt about his person. From behind him, Kaylee rolled her eyes. He’d obviously been hanging out in the bay being generally annoying while waiting for his sister and Jayne to return.

River had no intention of telling her brother about the tattoo until it was fate accompli. Instead, she flashed a beatific smile at him while Jayne hit the button to close the hatch. She spread careful fingers over her belly as she spoke.

“We were going to wait, Simon, but you might as well know …”

“Know what?”

“About the baby.”

Kaylee gasped.

Simon’s white face and his wrench clattering to the floor were outdone by the unintelligible sound that issued from Jayne’s throat. Simon gaped at his little sister for a split second, before whirling in the mercenary’s direction.

Jayne walked toward him, hands at his sides as he wished for the gun he’d not been able to wear into the clinic. He shook his head frantically.

“I swear doc, I have no idea –“

“Don’t!” Simon snapped, while Kaylee rushed to River. “I can’t listen to you –“

“But it isn’t mine –“

“What’s not yours?” That was Mal’s voice. He came into the bay with folded arms, critiquing his crew’s various postures at a glance.

“River’s baby,” Kaylee was happy to fill him in. He threw a startled look towards River, then stepped between the potentially explosive Simon and Jayne.

"We haven't even done what it takes to make a kid." Jayne was growling. Simon's lip curled in an uncharacteristic sneer.

“Hold off, doc. Just a minute. River?” The captain’s voice was stern as he gestured her over. River came, straight-faced, and stood at Jayne’s side. The spurt of hilarity she’d enjoyed died a quick death as she turned her head up and found a stunned hurt on the face of the man she was coming to love.

“Oh,” she breathed, heart twisting as she hasted to right what she’d wronged, “Jayne I’m sorry.” Mal started to speak but she ignored him, focused on Jayne. “It’s not true, I was joking – I’m not having a baby. I haven’t been with anyone, certainly not anyone besides you.” Seeing uncertainty creep into him, she reached for both of his hands. He let her take them. Simon was sputtering, ignored by all but Kaylee, who wrapped her arm around his.

“I swear Jayne,” River pleaded, “there hasn’t been anyone else. There isn’t, and there won’t be.”

He only gauged her face for a moment before nodding slowly. His hands tightened on hers. The anger and pain he’d just experienced had been a revelation, of who he was and what he held important.

“I only want you to touch me like that,” River murmured. They were too caught up in each other to notice Mal pulling the others away and out of the bay.

Jayne’s hand was a little shaky when he raised it to brush a thumb across the fine line of her cheekbone. She dropped her eyes down to view that telltale sign, then raised them up to his while tilting her head into his hold.

“Are you scared?”

She could tell he tried to lie, but in the end he couldn’t.

“Yeah.”

“But we can do this.”

“Guess if I can have surgery for ya, I can do lots of things I never thought of.”

That was good enough for her.

Awhile later, Inara came upon Wash affixing a sign to the cargo bay’s closed door. She paused with raised brows.

“Who is in there?”

Wash grinned. “According to the captain, Jayne and River. They might be awhile.”

“Ah.” Inara smiled too, brushed a hand across the letters spelling out ‘Do Not Disturb’, and walked away.