A/N: All right, this will probably be the last update until after Flan, so I hope you all can hold tight. Also, this chapter wasn't beta'd, so any mistakes belong to me!

I suppose you would characterize this as fluff, although I think there's definitely an undercurrent of angst ... you be the judge!

Don't forget to leave those nice, shiny comments - they make me happy!

***

Best Intentions, ch. 17

***

It was still raining as Kaylee and Simon again collapsed against one another, panting and breathless. Rolling onto his back and bringing Kaylee with him, he hugged her to his chest and sighed deeply. “You okay?” he asked her for about the fifth time that night.

Rolling her eyes at him, she answered, “You know Simon, it ain’t like it’s my first time.”

He smiled at her and kissed her again. “I know, I just … worry, that’s all.”

She nodded once, and then let the silence fall between them as the rain continued to splatter against the window. Truthfully Kaylee did feel a little more achy then she generally liked, but it wasn’t a bad feeling, and she knew it would pass.

“Simon?” She called to him, hoping that he hadn’t fallen asleep yet.

“Hmm,” he answered, his mind and body happily sated and wonderfully relaxed.

“I gotta ask ya somethin’.”

The serious tone in her voice made him a little less relaxed, but swallowing down his nervousness, he said, “Okay.”

Turning so she could look into his eyes, Kaylee felt her own sting a bit as she asked, “When I – When I lost the baby, it didn’t hurt nothin’, did it?”

Swallowing thickly, Simon ran a hand through her soft hair and asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I can still have a baby, right?” She blinked quickly, as a few frightful tears sprang to her eyes; she was so afraid of what his answer would be.

“Yes, Kaylee,” he assured her, wrapping his arms around her. “Yes, you can. There was no permanent damage done to your system.”

Releasing a big breath, Kaylee allowed her forehead to drop to his shoulder. She was so thankful; she had always wanted to be a ma and the knowledge that she had missed one opportunity had hurt her deeply. She was grateful to know that in the future, they could try again.

“Do you still think about it?” Simon questioned quietly, his lips whispering in her hair.

Raising her eyes to look at him, she asked, “About what? The baby?” When he nodded, she continued. “Yeah, at least once a day.” Taking his face in her hands, she held his gaze and said, “I really do want to have your baby someday, Simon.”

Smiling widely at her, Simon couldn’t shake the image in his head of her pregnant with his child, her body changing, her skin glowing … Leaning down to press a kiss to her mouth, he said, “I want that too, bao bei.”

Inching up his body, so that their heads were now on the same pillow, Kaylee nuzzled her head into Simon’s neck and kept a firm hold around his chest as they continued to listen to the rain.

***

“Inara, you understand what you’re requesting?”

She met the house priestess’ eyes with an unwavering gaze of her own and said evenly, “Yes.”

“And you submit this petition for resignation with no reservations, no third party influences, no extenuating circumstances?”

If Inara had not trained her entire life to hide her true emotions, she was certain the woman’s question would have unnerved her. “I do.”

With a sigh, Priestess Laylin set down the piece of paper with Inara’s signature scrawled across the bottom and rested her hands on the table in front of her. Laylin had known Inara since she had first come to the training house over fifteen years ago. She had even known about Jeremiah, a fact that Inara was grateful the woman had never disclosed to anyone. In their world of masks and facades, Laylin was considered a friend. “Inara, it pains me to even entertain this petition, you know that, don’t you?”

Allowing a friendly smile to upturn her mouth, Inara inclined her head to the woman, and said softly, “And I appreciate your concern, Linny, but it’s unnecessary. It’s just time for me to move on.”

As she sighed again, Laylin sat back in her seat and glanced first to her right and then her left. Getting minute nods from the two other members of the inquisition committee, she turned back to Inara and stated what would come next.

“Very well Inara. This committee and the Companion’s Guild will submit your petition for resignation. As such, for the next eight weeks, we will be conducting an audit of all your affairs, affiliations, associations and the like, both personal and professional. Do you understand?”

Inara nodded once and the woman continued. “You may alert your friends and family that they will be called upon to testify on your behalf, however, if there is even the suspicion that you have attempted to influence their statements, your petition will be rejected and your license and status revoked.” Gazing back to Inara, Laylin’s eyes softened again and her voice was friendly. “Do you understand these terms as I have read them to you, Inara?”

Nodding again, Inara swallowed, her eyes open and clear and said, “Yes, Priestess, I do.”

***

Kaylee had just put the finishing touches on her cake batter, sliding the trays into the warm oven when the door chime sounded. Straightening, she moved to answer it, curious as to who could be visiting. When she pulled the door open and saw Inara, her face broke into a wide grin and she wrapped the older woman into a fierce hug.

“Oh, ‘Nara, it’s so good to see you,” she breathed, squeezing her friend tighter.

Smiling at the younger woman’s enthusiasm, Inara patted her back lightly and said, “You too, mei mei. I’m sorry I haven’t been by in a while.”

Releasing her, Kaylee shut the door and then ushered her inside, weaving her arm through hers. “Oh no, don’t think nothin’ of it, I ‘spect you been busy, visitin’ folk an’ seein’ the captain off.”

Inara watched Kaylee from the corner of her eye, noting the way the girl’s expression turned just a tad wistful at the mention of Serenity. As they sat on the couch in the living room, Inara took her hand and asked, “Are you okay, mei mei? I can’t imagine it’s easy knowing Serenity’s out there and you’re stuck here.”

Smiling to her, Kaylee said, “I guess I’m a mite sad. I miss my girl, ya know,” she confided, getting Inara to grin. “But I ain’t stuck, ‘Nara. I made my choice to stay grounded for a bit. Simon an’ I made it together. Besides, I still ain’t quite healthy ‘nough to be sailing through the black.”

Resting her hand on her knee, Inara’s eyes clouded with concern. “You are okay though, aren’t you? I thought Simon said you were getting better.”

“Oh, I am, but he worries still. ‘Fraid I’ll have ‘nother one of them clots an’ he won’t be able to help me on the ship.” With a contented sigh, Kaylee leaned back into the cushions, her eyes unfocusing a bit as she thought of the past few nights and all the ways she’d assured Simon she was fine. “But don’t worry. He knows I’m good an’ healthy.”

Inara smiled knowingly, having seen that starry-eyed look on her friend before. Patting her knee, she told her quietly, “I’m sure you have convinced him quite thoroughly.”

As they shared another smile, Kaylee finally studied her friend, noting the tightness to her eyes. It was the only place she had ever noticed where Inara could not mask her feelings, right at the corners of her eyes, and while the woman was smiling, Kaylee could see that the expression stopped at her cheeks and it raised her concern.

Placing her hand over the one Inara held to her knee, Kaylee asked gently, “Everythin’ okay, ‘Nara?”

Blinking rapidly, Inara fixed the girl with the same half-smile and Kaylee straightened up a bit, ready to listen. “It is, mei mei, but I actually came to ask for your help with something. You and Simon both.” Glancing over her shoulder, she asked, “Is he here?”

Shaking her head, Kaylee said, “No, he went to visit with Eli. They’re talkin’ about him starting at the hospital.”

“Oh, Kaylee, that’s so exciting,” Inara breathed, imagining how happy Simon must have been at the prospect of working in a real hospital again.

And apparently, Kaylee knew it too. “It is, ‘Nara,” she told her, smiling wide. “He’s so thrilled. He comes back almost giddy. It warms my heart,” she added wistfully, remembering just the day before when Simon had returned from visiting with the older doctor, his face full of her favorite swai grin. Pulling her thoughts from the memory, she again focused on Inara. “But I can fill him in. What’s up?”

Swallowing hard, Inara felt her stomach churn uncomfortably. She really didn’t want to tell her friends to lie on her behalf, but she did want Kaylee to know what was at stake when she was contacted by a member of the Guild. “Kaylee, I made a decision a few months ago, and now that we’ve been on Sihnon for a while, I’ve been able to follow through on it.”

Kaylee’s wide, unblinking eyes regarded her calmly and Inara continued. “I’ve decided to resign as a registered Companion.”

Inhaling sharply, Kaylee’s eyes watered with happy tears. “Oh, ‘Nara, that’s great. The cap’n’s gonna be thrilled.”

Smiling tightly, Inara tried not to think of Mal or the gigantic lies she was going to have to tell him whenever he called in the next few months. Even though he was off planet, probably halfway across the ‘verse, their conversations would still be monitored, the committee looking for any hint of their true relationship. “I hope so, mei mei,” she said quietly, lifting her eyes back to Kaylee’s eager expression. “But in order for me to resign with my status still intact, I have to go through an investigation of sorts.”

Frowning, Kaylee asked, “What kinda investigation?”

Sighing, Inara tried to think of the best way to explain. “Kaylee, do you remember when you asked me once about dating?”

Nodding, Kaylee told her, “Yeah, you told me it was complicated.”

Smiling, Inara murmured, “Exactly. Well, part of the reason it’s so complicated is that falling in love is against Guild law.”

Cutting her off, Kaylee sat forward, her lips pressed into a firm line. “Well, that ain’t right! Fallin’ in love’s the best thing in the ‘verse. They got no right to deny you that.”

Resting a hand to her shoulder, Inara looked to her patiently. “Easy there, mei mei,” she said soothingly, relaxing a bit as Kaylee sat back. “I agree with you, but the Guild doesn’t. Part of this investigation is going to be an examination of all my relationships. If the committee suspects even a hint of a true, loving relationship with another, then I get nothing. My status and license will be stripped. I’ll be expelled from the Guild.”

Swallowing hard, Kaylee asked needlessly, “So, I’m guessin’ the cap’n bein’ a few systems away is a convenience at the moment, ain’t it?”

Smiling, Inara sat back, allowing herself to sink into the comfort of the couch. “More than you know.”

The two friends sat in silence for a moment, only the timer on the oven interrupting their thoughts. Glancing to Inara, Kaylee rose quickly to remove her cake from the oven. Her friend followed watching how easily Kaylee moved about the room, how she opened drawers and cabinets without hesitation, finding what she needed immediately before turning back to the task at hand. Whether she may have wanted to admit it or not, Kaylee was fitting in here, and it warmed Inara’s heart to see it.

As Kaylee dumped the two halves of the cake onto cooling racks, she asked, “So what all’s gonna happen?”

Leaning against the entryway, Inara crossed her arms over her chest and said, “Well, they’re going to audit all my client interactions from the past year, interview them. And they’ll probably call on you and Simon to make a statement, as well as my parents.”

Her eyes going wide, Kaylee looked to her and asked, “What am I gonna say? I can’t rightly tell ‘em you don’t love the cap’n.”

Moving towards her friend, Inara told her urgently, “You have to, mei mei. When they ask you about Mal, just say that we’re business acquaintances, nothing more. If they ask about specific times when we’ve been together, just keep reiterating our business relationship.” Her eyes pleading, Inara added, “Please, Kaylee. I know it’s a lot to ask, but please.”

“What about your folks?” Kaylee asked, her eyes still fixed on Inara’s desperation-filled features. “Somethin’ tells me they ain’t gonna lie for ya.”

Pulling back, Inara’s eyes hardened a bit as she said, “Don’t worry about them, Kaylee. While you were in the hospital, we reached a bit of an understanding.” With a smug smile, she said, “They’ll say whatever I ask them to.” And they would, it had been Inara’s last request of them and they had promised. While she wouldn’t have normally put any stock in their vows, Inara did now, because she had to.

Kaylee absorbed this information in silence and then went back to her work. Walking the dirty pans over to the sink, she let the hot water soak them for a minute before turning back to her friend and asking her, “’Nara, why do you care? You know the cap’n don’t give a rat’s behind if you ain’t got status no more. Why don’t you just tell ‘em the truth?” As Inara struggled for an answer, Kaylee moved to her and squeezed her hand gently, getting the woman’s brown eyes to lock with hers. “Bein’ in love ain’t nothin’ to be ashamed of.”

Inara sighed heavily, wishing she could believe that. But she knew better; being in love was the only thing to be ashamed of, in her profession at least. She had learned that lesson the hard way over ten years ago with Jeremiah and she didn’t want to have to learn it again.

Of course, Kaylee was right. Mal could care less if she was black balled, disgraced, just so long as she was his, but Inara cared. She had spent more than half of her life earning the respect and appreciation of these people, of the Guild and despite how badly she wanted to just turn her back on them, her mind wouldn’t let her do it. Maybe it was pride or selfishness or just plain fear, but whatever the motivation, it was hers, and she had a right to it.

Resting a hand to her friend’s face, Inara told her, “I love that you think that, mei mei, and I wish I knew how to convince you of my motives, but you’re just going to have to trust that this is something I need to do. By the time Mal gets back, it’ll be over.” Kaylee nodded once in agreement, before launching into another topic, something about Simon’s parents.

Inara listened with half of her attention, hoping that when her two months was up, she wouldn’t have pushed Mal away along with her career.

***

Inara stood by resolutely as the Guild’s investigators rifled through her apartment. She had encouraged Mal to take all his things when he’d gone, stating that once he returned, they would need to move from the apartment anyway as she no longer wanted to live off her parents. Luckily, he’d consented.

It should have rankled her to see the way they handled her things. They were polite of course, nice even, there was no breaking of items, no ransacking, just the careful examination of everything she owned. But there was nothing for them to find, Inara had seen to that.

An hour later, the leader approached her, smiling kindly and said, “Thank you for your cooperation, Miss Serra. We appreciate it.”

Inara only returned the older woman’s grin and then watched as she and her team departed. Once the door was shut, Inara moved towards the bedroom, finding her clothes, still in the drawers but unfolded and haphazardly strewn about.

With shaking hands, she reached in and began to refold them, her heart beat slowing as she performed the calm and menial task. With a start, she heard the beep of the console and went to answer the wave, her eyes widening when she saw who it was.

“Well, hey there, darlin’.” Mal’s voice was an easy drawl, his blue eyes as sparkling as ever as they roved over her face. “I’ve been tryin’ to reach you for a couple o’ days now.”

Inara nodded once, still struggling to find her voice. She knew that was true. She had conveniently been absent each time Mal had waved over the week he’d been gone, choosing to spend as much of her time away from the apartment as possible. If she was going to be followed and scrutinized, than she had already resolved to continue living her life, visiting with old friends and family. Inara had simply slipped her perfectly crafted mask into place and she was letting the Guild see it for all she was worth.

But it was a mask that Mal had disrobed a long time ago and seeing him, especially after the violation of her privacy set her on edge. Her voice harsh, she told him, “Well, you seem to have found me.”

Instantly his brow furrowed, and Mal regarded her concernedly. “What s’matter?”

“Nothing, Mal. Why would something be the matter? I’ve just been busy that’s all.” Inara’s heart pounded heavily against her rib cage as she wove each lie. Please don’t let him see it.

Frowning at her, Mal said, “Yeah, right. Come on, ‘Nara, why don’t you tell me what’s goin’ on?” He was concerned, she could see it, although she could also see he was slightly peeved; and Inara knew from past experience if she pushed, just a bit, he’d quickly skyrocket to angry and leave her be.

“Why don’t you just concern yourself with your job, captain?” she asked coldly, wishing with all her heart she didn’t have to do this. “And I’ll concern myself with my affairs.”

His mouth agape, Mal stared at her for a few moments, before he sputtered. “Fine then. Maybe I’ll just wait ‘til we’re back ‘fore I try talkin’ with you again.”

“Maybe you should,” she told him, having no problem in getting anger to color her voice; she was angry, just not at him.

“Fine,” he bit out again and then in an instant closed off the connection, the screen blinking to black.

Inara sat in front of it for a moment more, her chest heaving with her emotions, before she dropped her head into her hands. Please let him understand, she prayed, sitting for a long while before she felt strong enough to stand.

***

“Would you and Kaylee like to come over for dinner tomorrow night?” Eli asked as he walked out of the hospital with Simon.

Turning to look at him, Simon smiled wide and told him, “Would we ever, but we can’t.” With a sigh, he added, “My parents have asked to have dinner with us again.”

Nodding, Eli paused for a moment, getting the younger doctor to stop as well. He knew that things had been a bit tense for the boy since his folks had shown up unexpectedly and while he didn’t know all the particulars, he didn’t have to. Relations between children and their parents could be strained for a whole bunch of reasons. “How’s that been going?” he asked, watching closely as Simon lowered his gaze instantly, his cheeks flushing a bit.

“All right, I guess,” he murmured. Looking back to his friend, he added, “A little bit worse since River’s been gone. She was kind of acting as a mediator between us,” he confessed, having hated to put her into that role, but more than missing it when it was gone. “They told me they’d be heading back to Osiris soon, so this might be the last time I’ll see them for a while.”

Cocking an eyebrow to him, Eli surmised, “And you’re glad.”

Smiling sheepishly, Simon told him, “I know, I’m spoiled brat.”

Chuckling lightly, Eli told him, “No, son. You’re a grown man who had a rough time getting that way under the watchful eye of your folks. Take it from a man who’s had to watch his daughters mature, seeing your children move into adulthood is downright scary and just plain weird most of the time.”

Quizzically, Simon looked to him and asked, “But why? It is the natural progression of life.” His face was set with a bit of annoyance; Simon still had a hard time accepting that his mother and father had simply dismissed him because they couldn’t handle the fact that he was growing up.

Motioning to a bench down the sidewalk from the hospital’s entrance, both men moved towards it and sat. They had just finished a 12-hour shift together and sitting was much more preferable to staying on their feet. “Simon, I know you’re not a father yet, so I’m going to forgive your insolence,” Eli said easily, scolding him, but not really. “And I know that more happened between you and your parents than you’ve ever let on to me,” he added, watching as Simon’s gaze wavered a bit. The younger man had told him a bit about how exactly he’d ended up out on the rim, triaging gun shot and stab wounds for a crew of renegades, but Eli knew it wasn’t the whole story; and he suspected, he’d never get it. “So I may not be speaking from the most educated place about your particular situation. But I can speak as a father. So listen up.”

At this last warning, Simon looked back to him and smiled tiredly and Eli returned the grin. “Your parents, they’re not infallible. They made a mistake, a huge one, and I understand why you’re so angry at them. But just keep in mind that one day you will be a parent too. And one day, no matter how hard you try, you will disappoint your children and you will have to ask for their forgiveness. And you’ll want it, just as badly as your folks want yours.”

Simon’s eyes widened a bit at this assessment and he swallowed hard past the sudden lump in his throat. He trusted Eli, more than he’d ever trusted just about anyone, save his sister, Kaylee and Mal. And he looked up to the older man as a mentor and almost a father. And with a certainty that was borne out of his respect for him, he knew Eli was right.

“Do you ever tire of being right?” he asked quietly, allowing his mouth to quirk into a grin.

“Oh, son,” Eli said with a sigh, clapping a hand to his shoulder. “I should let you talk to my wife and daughters. They just think I’m a damn fool.”

“Thank you,” Simon said sincerely, holding the other man’s gaze for a moment. “Truly.”

Nodding once, Eli rose and said, “Well, listen my Evelyn is dying to meet you and Kaylee. I keep talking about you and she’s certain that you are very vivid figments of my imagination since I haven’t brought you around. And my girls would love to meet you both as well.” Leaning in, he confided, “And you can tell Kaylee they’re both happily married, so she’s got nothing to worry about.”

Smiling at him, Simon told him, “She wouldn’t have to worry regardless. No offense to your daughters.”

Chuckling, Eli clapped him on the back again and said, “None taken. So just keep in mind that offer for dinner still stands. Anytime you want.”

Returning the man’s grin, Simon nodded once and then watched him go, before turning to head back to Kaylee. The hospital was close to the apartment and he found that he enjoyed the short walk. It helped to clear his head and refresh him after spending more and more time cooped up in the hospital.

As he approached their apartment door, Simon heard voices from inside. With a newfound curiosity, he hurriedly opened the door and entered the room to find Kaylee and his parents talking animatedly, Inara with them as well. His eyes widening in surprise, Kaylee looked up at his entrance and came to his side. Kissing him lightly, she said, “Well, there you are. I was gonna call the hospital.”

“Uh, sorry,” he offered lamely, again looking to his guests and then back to his fiancée. “I thought they were coming tomorrow night,” he murmured quietly.

Shaking her head, she told him, “Nope, tonight, silly. Don’t worry, we’ve been passin’ the time.” Looking back to him with a mischievous grin, she added, “Talkin’ ‘bout you.”

Groaning, Simon’s expression of horror elicited chuckles from everyone present. “Don’t worry, son. I saved the really embarrassing stories for your sister to tell,” Regan assured him, her eyes dancing with amusement.

Blushing, Simon moved into the room, guiding Kaylee back to a chair, before perching himself on the arm. She rested her hand against his thigh and Simon covered it with his own as the conversation again started, Inara relating a tale from their time on Serenity, a tale involving a cow fetus.

Wrinkling their noses in disgust, both Regan and Gabriel laughed wholeheartedly as Inara relayed Simon’s ill-spoken words when in Kaylee’s presence. Glancing to his son, Gabriel frowned and said, “Simon, I thought for certain I had raised you better than that.”

Squeezing Kaylee’s hand, Simon said, “Well, I must have done something right.”

“A whole lot o’ somethin’s,” Kaylee agreed, smiling up at him, before moving to rise. “Supper’s gonna be ready any minute. Why don’t ya’ll move out to the terrace?”

As everyone stood, Inara moved to Kaylee’s side offering to help her. Simon followed his parents out and noted that once again Kaylee had set a fine table; she really was a marvel.

“You are very lucky, son,” Gabriel’s quiet voice intoned.

Turning to regard his father, Simon smiled wide and told him, “Trust me, I know.”

“We weren’t too certain of Kaylee at first, dear,” Regan confided, moving towards him and placing a hand to his arm. “But she’s a sweetheart and I know she loves you very much. She’ll make a wonderful addition to our family.”

Still smiling, Simon surprised his mother and himself as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Thank you, mother,” he told her quietly, the woman’s eyes widening as her hand rested over where his lips had touched her skin. Looking to his father, he repeated, “Thank you.”

“We’ll be leaving tomorrow,” Gabriel told him, stepping to his wife’s side and placing an arm around her shoulders. “We’re sorry we can’t stay longer, see your sister again, but we both need to get back.”

Nodding once, Simon understood. His parents had a very full docket of social events and charities. “I, ah,” he faltered for a moment, uncertain what to say. Eli’s words rang in his head and with a newfound need to set things right between them, he started again. “I’m glad that you came. I realize that must have been difficult for you, not knowing what to expect. But it was the right thing to do, for River and for me.”

Taking his hands in hers, Regan’s eyes locked on his face as she said, “We do love you, son. We love you both so much. And we are sorry. Sorry for whatever part we played in all of this.”

“Everything happens for a reason, mother,” Simon reminded her. It wasn’t a thought he had ever subscribed to before. But as his eyes focused over her shoulder and watched Kaylee step outside, her arms full of food, her smile bright, he told them, “If it hadn’t happened, I never would have met Kaylee. River might not ever have gotten better. So, it worked out.”

Nodding once, Regan blinked a few tears away and looked to her husband. Placing a hand to Simon’s shoulder, Gabriel said, “We’re proud of you, son. For the life you’ve created for yourself, for all you’ve done for River. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that, and that’s my fault.”

An immense weight lifted from Simon’s shoulders at that moment and he almost felt his entire body float away with the relief. He hadn’t known that was what he’d been looking for from his parents, his father especially, but it made sense now. He’d wanted their approval, regardless of the fact that he no longer needed it.

“Well, ya’ll hungry or what?”

Kaylee’s playful voice broke the moment between them and turning to their hostess and Inara, the three Tams moved to the table, their family finally on the mend.

***

“Lil’ albatross?”

Mal circled the galley looking for River and not finding her. Wandering down the stairs towards the passenger dorms, he was a bit startled to find her in her brother’s old bunk, her body curled up onto his pillow. Moving towards the doorway, Mal paused and called to her, “River?”

“Nothing’s the same,” she said sadly, her eyes a bit teary, but clear. She didn’t look to him as she spoke, content instead to stare at the wall. Hugging Simon’s pillow to her chest even tighter, she murmured, “Everything keeps changing.”

A bit concerned, Mal walked in and sat on the end of the bunk, feeling guilty. He had selfishly been seeking River out to see if she could shed any light on his unsettling conversation with Inara about a week and a half ago. He’d wanted to ask her opinion about a half a dozen times, but fear of her answer had always stopped him. But as he’d slowly started to feel worse and worse, dreading that Inara would no longer want him once they returned, he’d been unable to push the thought away.

“Don’t worry.” River’s still quiet voice pulled him from his reverie and Mal turned to her. She wasn’t looking at him, but she said, “Just a game. A mask, she’ll take it off once we’re back.”

Grateful to her and a bit relieved, Mal edged closer and rested a warm hand on her shoulder. “You all right there, lil’ one?”

With the slightest shake of her head, River finally looked at him, her big brown eyes full of tears. “Don’t want me anymore. I’m too different, too scary.” A few of her tears fell down her cheeks at this admission and Mal wanted to know who had called her scary, who had made her cry like this.

Getting even closer, Mal ran the back of his finger down her cheek and wiped a few of her tears away. “Who don’t want you?”

“My parents,” she said brokenly, before turning her face into the pillow she held and starting to sob.

Mal’s heart broke as he recognized her pain. Trying to soothe her, she only continued to cry harder and finally, not knowing what else to do, Mal lifted her into his lap and held her against his chest. He’d seen Simon do it plenty of times before and it had worked; he hoped it would now.

As she wound her hands into his shirt and cried some more, Mal rubbed her back and said gently, “I’m sure that ain’t true, River. They just gotta adjust to havin’ you back is all.”

Shaking her head, she took a few shaky breaths and then said, “No, they’re scared of me. I killed people. They don’t undersand.” Lifting her face to meet his gaze, she said, “Love Simon, the prodigal son, not me, cast from Eden.”

She began crying again and Mal had no more words of comfort. He knew that if River was so certain than there had to be some truth to her words. She could after all, read thoughts from people, sometimes lifting whole conversations from their heads. It was a useful trait in their line of work, and sometimes unsettling, but it had never made Mal scared of her; maybe scared for her, but not of her.

“Am I a murderer?” She hiccupped, her voice still broken by her tears and Mal felt his breath leave him quickly, shocked by the question. Turning her tear-filled eyes to him, she asked, “Am I?”

Setting his jaw firmly, Mal pulled back from her and took her by the shoulders so he could hold her gaze. “Now, you listen to me, River, an’ you listen good. I may not of raised you an’ I may not be your brother, but I love you like you were mine, an’ I won’t have you sayin’ such things.” Wrapping a bit of hair behind her ear, he softened his voice a bit and added, “You ain’t never murdered nobody. You’ve only protected them you love. That ain’t wrong, it’s right, the most right thing there is.”

River’s lower lip trembled as she felt more tears come and she again buried her face into his chest. “I love you, captain daddy,” she whispered, curling herself even more firmly into him.

Holding her tight, Mal placed a kiss in her hair and told her, “I love you, lil’ one.”

***