A/N: Well, because of my incomparable beta - you get one more chapter before Flan!

This is the 2nd to last chapter for the end of this series. I'm toying with a sequel ... what do you all think? I'll only write it if you'll promise to read ... :o)

Please, please, please comment and for all of you attending Flan this weekend - woohoo!

***

Best Intentions, ch. 18

***

“We done here?”

Mal was testy, there was no denying that, and as Zoe watched him pace up and down Serenity’s ramp, she told him, “Well, I’m guessin’ that depends.” As he turned to regard her, she asked, “You wanna get paid for our trouble?”

With a sigh, Mal rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “Of course, Zoe, but I also want to start back towards Sihnon.”

Zoe looked to him again, reading all the signs of his distress with an expert eye. She had known the man for a long, long time, had seen him at his lowest and possibly highest point and she had to admit, the low he’d reached over the past couple of weeks was new, even for him.

Taking a step towards him, she asked quietly, “What exactly did Inara say to you?”

A sharp snap of his eyes to her face and Zoe knew she’d hit the nail right on the head; of course it had been Inara to throw him off his game. Not that Zoe didn’t like the woman; she did, and she felt that Inara was good for Mal, the high times she’d seen in her friend were when he was courting the Companion. But that still was no excuse to put the rest of the crew in danger by having Mal distracted.

“It ain’t ‘Nara,” he told her foolishly, trying to brush her off. “Why are you always thinkin’ my foul moods gotta be ‘bout ‘Nara?”

Pursing her lips at him, she told him coolly, “’Cause o’ somethin’ Wash used to say.” When Mal turned his attention back to her, she elaborated. “If it roars like a dino and looks like one too then chances are-“

“It’s a dino,” Mal finished for her, letting out another heavy sigh. Meeting his friend’s gaze, he confided, “Somethin’ ain’t right, Zo. That was plain as day when I left and even plainer when I tried to talk to her a couple weeks ago.”

“What did you do?” Zoe asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Who you think I am?” he asked incredulously, his face conveying a mock sense of hurt. “I ain’t the doc. I didn’t do nothin’.”

Fixing him with an even more skeptical look, Zoe almost chuckled as he reiterated, “I din’t. I swear.”

“Uh huh,” she murmured. Taking a seat as River and Jayne were apparently going to be a bit late, she looked up to Mal and asked, “All right, then if you didn’t do nothin’, then what do you think’s got her bugged?”

Shrugging, Mal sat down tiredly beside her. He didn’t like being so far away. And despite Inara’s insistence that he not wave her again, he had tried a few times since their fight, only to find her not home. He liked that even less. “I don’t know. I guess she started actin’ a bit strange after we went out to the training house. When she visited with her friend.”

“Do you know what she an’ Sheydra talked about?” Zoe questioned, reading his profile like an open book.

“Nah, she said they was just catchin’ up an’ I didn’t want to know what kind o’ stories they could be tellin’,” he said, his voice lowering. Zoe smirked, still finding it quite amusing that after all this time, Mal was uncomfortable with Inara’s profession; the same profession that had brought her to him.

Mal paused for a moment, his gaze roving over the landscape. They had parked out in the middle of no where, their contact a jumpy little man who they had dealt with before. While Mal and Zoe waited for him to finally determine it was safe, he’d sent River and Jayne to the nearest town to get some provisions. Now, as the little criminal who had their money was almost an hour late, Mal was running out of patience, painfully aware that every extra minute was just prolonging the time it would take him to get back to Inara.

Zoe scanned the landscape as well, looking for anything that could signal trouble. It was desert really, stretching as far as they could see and when she looked all the way around to her left she saw an approaching dust cloud. Guessing it was River and Jayne returning on the mule she stood, and told her friend, “Look, worryin’ about it, when we’re all the way out here, ain’t gonna do us any good.”

With a sigh, Mal rose and told her, “I know, I just wish-"

Mal dropped beside her like a rag doll, his whole body going limp as the bullet that had pierced his chest cut through nerves and blood vessels. Zoe was by his side in an instant, pulling him into the safety of the cargo bay and looked for their attacker. Her gun drawn, she poked her head out, and then heard the comm on her belt crackle. “Zoe?” It was Jayne’s voice.

“Get your asses back here and be careful,” she ordered. “Mal’s been shot.”

Flinging the device away, Zoe inched out, swinging her firearm and meeting the shocked gaze of their contact a few feet away. Lowering the weapon, she yelled furiously, “Ratan, what in the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Waving a shaky hand at the approaching mule, he said, “You called the Feds.”

Rolling her eyes as anger welled in her chest, Zoe strode to the edge of the ramp and hopped down, charging the man. Fisting his shirt in her hand, she pulled him to her and hissed vehemently, “No, you qing wa cao de liu mang, that’s our crewmen, coming back from town.”

As Ratan’s eyes widened even more, Zoe fished around in his pockets and found the sack of coin he owed them. Jerking her head to the shade of Serenity where she and Mal had already stacked the cargo earlier that day, she ordered, “Get the goods an’ get gone, before I decide to give you a matching bullet hole.”

She roughly shoved him out of her grasp and returned to Serenity in time to see Jayne pull the mule into the cargo bay, screeching it to a halt as he saw Mal’s prone form on the floor. River jumped out instantly, moving to the captain’s side, pressing her hands against the blood that was flowing from him.

With fearful eyes, she looked to Zoe as the woman returned to her friend’s side. “I wasn’t fast enough.” Turning an accusatory glare to Jayne, she told him, “You drive too slow.”

Grunting in her direction, Jayne moved to raise the ramp, before helping Zoe carry Mal into the infirmary. River stayed by his side, keeping her hand over the wound and applying pressure, even as he cried out in pain. Jabbing him with a smoother, Zoe relaxed a bit as Mal fell limp to the table.

“River,” she called to the young woman, having to wait longer than she wanted in order to get the girl’s attention. When her big brown eyes were locked on her face, she told her, “You need to get us out of here, ma shong. The captain needs a doctor.”

“There’s one in town,” she said hurriedly.

Shaking her head quickly, Zoe told her, “No, it’s too risky. I don’t want anybody askin’ any uncomfortable questions. We’re gonna have to head back towards the Core, stop at the first decent planet we pass.”

River nodded once, and then bent down to press a kiss to Mal’s forehead. “Can’t die, captain daddy,” she whispered to him before racing from the room.

Jayne watched her go, moving in to offer Zoe help should she need it. “How bad is it?” he asked, his voice low as he looked at Mal’s ashen face.

Not bothering to answer him, Zoe worked quickly, just hoping it wouldn’t get worse.

***

Inara awoke in the night, her body covered in sweat, her hair and nightgown sticking to her skin. With her heart beating rapidly and her breath rushed, she looked around the empty bedroom wide eyed.

Trying to get her wayward emotions under control, she slid out of bed, taking a few seconds to stand before moving to the bathroom and splashing cold water on her face. Looking at her tired appearance, she tried to reassure herself. “Just a dream, that’s all it was.”

Ignoring the sinking feeling in her gut, she made it back to bed, still not convinced that whatever had awoken her had been a terror in the night.

***

Mal was in and out of consciousness for a few days as River piloted Serenity with a speed the ship should not have been capable of. Whenever he did wake, someone was always there, normally Zoe, sitting quietly with him. Of course, whenever he slept, Inara was there, so he tried to drift off as often as possible.

In his feverish and drug-addled brain, not too much made sense, but the only thing he could suss out was that he loved Inara something fierce. Wondering if he’d ever told her that, he vowed to the next time he saw her.

And he did.

She was radiant, of course. Standing next to a lake, the water reflected the sun and shone on her, illuminating her entire body in a halo of light. He moved to her hurriedly, filled with a sinking fear that she might disappear, and without a word, hugged her to him, pressing a fervent and passionate kiss to her mouth which she returned.

When they parted, her forehead resting against his cheek, he murmured to her, “It feels like I ain’t seen you in forever.”

As if trying to reassure him, Inara held his face in her hands and told him softly, “I’m right here, Mal.”

“I love you, ‘Nara,” he told her quickly, his voice unsteady for a reason he could not quite identify. “I love you with everythin’ I got an’ I want to marry you.”

Raising tear-filled eyes to his face, Inara pressed her mouth to his gently, tasting him and then leaned back, dropping one hand over his heart. Pulling it back, she turned her palm to face him and his breath caught as he saw the blood there.

With an almost sympathetic expression, Inara told him, “Oh, Mal, you can’t marry me if you’re dead.”

With a scream, Inara awoke, her whole body trembling. That same dream, three times in as many nights. Shaking, Inara rose on unsteady legs and made her way to the wave screen. It was late, but she didn’t care, she had to settle her nerves somehow.

Hesitantly, she called Simon and Kaylee, not at all surprised when Simon answered the wave. “Inara?” he asked, his voice rough from sleep, his hair mussed.

“I’m sorry, Simon,” she told him truthfully, surprised by how hoarse her own voice was. “I know I woke you, but I was wondering, have you heard from River?”

Frowning at her, Simon’s eyes blinked a bit more rapidly as he finally woke up. “About a week ago,” he told her. Now studying her more intently, Simon could see her distress. “Why? Did something happen?”

With a slight sigh, Inara tried to shake off the feeling of dread that had coiled in her gut. “No, no, nothing. I was just curious as to their timetable.” Looking back to him, she gave him a small grin and said, “I’m sorry, Simon, really. Go back to sleep.”

Unable to argue with her as he was pretty tired, Simon turned off the wave and Inara was again alone. Sitting back heavily in the chair, she buried her face in her hands and felt a few tears trickle down her cheeks.

Mal had to be all right. Zoe or River would have called her by now for sure, wouldn’t they? Unless he’d told them not to, unless he thought she really didn’t care. With a stifled sob, Inara crawled back into bed and buried herself under the covers, her body shivering uncontrollably until she finally fell back to sleep.

***

Zoe hated Verbena, but it had been their only option, so she’d taken it. Now, as she paced in the waiting room of the doctor’s small clinic, praying to a god she no longer believed in to save Mal’s life, she felt a wave of tiredness wash over her. It had been a long four days of watching Mal’s life slowly ebb away and she was only marginally grateful that at least she wasn’t responsible for keeping that vigil anymore.

A light hand to her shoulder signaled to Zoe that River had joined her. Turning and smiling tightly to the girl, she asked, “You all right there, lil’ one?”

River nodded once, her eyes drifting towards the wall. The wall that separated her from Mal. The doctor wasn’t the best surgeon, but he was decent enough and River held a small glimmer of hope that he would save her daddy; she needed him.

“Where’s Jayne?” Zoe questioned, finally giving in and sinking into a hard wooden chair.

“Whoring,” River answered tonelessly, sitting beside her. Taking the woman’s hand, she waited until Zoe’s eyes had locked on hers and then said, “We need to tell Inara.”

Inhaling sharply, Zoe realized she had forgotten all about the woman in this entire mess. Feeling a pang of guilt, she told River, “An’ we will, lil’ one, but why don’t we wait ‘til we have some news?”

As if on cue, the door to the operating room swung open and the doctor stepped out, his apron covered in blood; Mal’s blood. River and Zoe both moved towards him as he said, “We’re finished.”

“And?” Zoe questioned, doing her best to keep her voice steady and emotionless.

“And we managed to get the bullet out, but he’s lost a lot of blood and we don’t have that much plasma lying around. He’s going to need a transfusion.” The man’s eyes were tired and worn as he relayed this news. Mal wouldn’t survive without a fresh batch of life-giving blood infused into his system. And while he had not said those exact words, both of the women he faced knew it.

“What’s his type?” Zoe asked, unable to believe that she had actually forgotten.

“A positive,” the doctor said, looking between them. “Is either of you a match?”

Zoe shook her head curtly, but then River piped up. “I’m O negative. Can’t I help?”

Without a word, the older man ushered River from the room and then, with a sigh, Zoe headed back to the ship, knowing there was a wave she needed to make.

***

Inara heard the wave screen chime and she froze, her hands above her head as she ran a brush through her hair. She was getting ready for another round of forced socialness, and had been reflecting on how tired she looked; all of this deception really was taking a lot out of her.

Moving to the screen, Inara felt trepidation and fear well in her gut and she tried to stymie both as she sat down and answered the call. However, when she saw Zoe’s drawn face looking back at her, she felt as if she wanted to retch violently. Something was wrong with Mal.

“Zoe? How are you?” Inara asked, forcing a friendly smile to her face. Regardless of what had happened Inara needed to keep up appearances … didn’t she? That’s what this whole few months had been about, and she was so close, just another week or two and she and Mal would be home free. You can do this, Inara.

“Fine, ‘Nara,” Zoe answered, her brow furrowing at the woman’s response. Zoe had figured that as soon as she’d seen her face on the screen she’d know that the news wasn’t good. Zoe had expected tears, maybe a firm set to her jaw, but not the tight grin she had fixed her with instead; it was unsettling. “I’m wavin’ with some not fine news though.”

Inara knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it together. If Zoe told her that Mal was dead or injured she would lose it, and the Guild would see. She couldn’t do that; she just couldn’t. She had worked so hard. Besides, what good would knowing do her? She couldn’t go to him, couldn’t help him, could only sit by and worry. Shaking her head, she said quietly, “No.”

Zoe’s gaze growing even harder as her annoyance rose, she questioned, “Shenme?”

Again plastering a fake smile to her features, she said, “I’m sorry, Zoe, but you’ve really called at a bad time. I was just on my way out the door. We’ll have to chat later.” Without another word, Inara flipped off the screen, sitting back heavily. Pressing a hand to her mouth, the bile she’d felt churning through her stomach burned with acidity and Inara raced to the bathroom, vomiting into the porcelain basin.

Uncertain how long she lay on the floor, her cheek pressed against the blessedly cool tile, Inara finally found the strength to get up, drawing herself a bath, although she had just showered a few hours before and sinking into the amazingly warm water. Hoping it would soothe her rattled nerves, Inara laid her head back against the tub and closed her eyes, silent tears leaking down her cheeks.

***

Simon and Kaylee were locked in a passionate embrace when the wave screen chimed. Groaning against her mouth, Simon pulled himself away from her with difficulty, grinning wickedly as she tried to reach for him and pull him back. Pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose, he said, “I’ll be right back.”

“You better hurry,” she called after him, falling back onto the bed. As the minutes passed and he did not return, Kaylee finally decided she couldn’t wait any longer. Pulling on her robe, she headed out to the living room and found him sitting and staring at the now blank screen.

Her heart beating uncomfortably in her chest, she went to him, placing a hand to his shoulder and asked softly, “Simon?” When he turned his wide eyes to her, Kaylee bit her lip and knelt beside him instinctively. “What is it?”

“It’s Mal.”

*** Translations: qing wa cao de liu mang - you frog-humping son of a b*tch

To Be Concluded in Chapter 19