A/N: Get out your hankies, folks. This one ends sad and I make no apologies. My only defense is - "Everyone else is always doing it!" *stamps foot like a petulant child*

Thanks again to Kaynara for beta-ing and lending her Mal/Inara expertise. And thanks to everyone for all the nice, shiny comments on part one. Here's hoping you like part two!

***

What’s Fair – 2/2

***

Taking a deep breath and straightening her shoulders, Inara answered her door, one of her pristine smiles plastered on her face. Opening her mouth to greet her guest, she was stopped as Simon held up a hand and spoke first.

“Before you say anything,” he told her, stepping inside the cottage. “I didn’t tell Mal a word. He figured out all on his own that maybe we needed to come see you.”

Smiling, this time the expression reached her eyes. Simon was a dear man and good friend, not to mention an outstanding doctor. She’d had no doubt that it had not been his slip of the tongue that had encouraged Mal to take this little outing, but rather the man’s overactive imagination at getting a call from her physician. Laying a hand to his shoulder, she assured Simon, “I know that. I should have suspected that there was nowhere I could run that Mal wouldn’t find me.”

Simon’s bemused expression slid off his features as he studied his friend intently. In just the month she’d been gone, he could already see the effects of her illness taking hold. She was holding herself rigidly, as if afraid the wrong move in one direction or the other might cause pain. Her perfect face was creased with new wrinkles, and not the ones caused by laughter or smiles, ones instead caused by worry and pain. “Didn’t you want him to?” Simon asked knowingly, startling Inara with his insight.

Avoiding the question and the uncomfortable answer, she cocked an eyebrow at him and moved slowly to the sofa. Sitting gingerly, she said, “I see that being with Kaylee has given you a good deal of insight into relationships.” Watching as Simon’s face lit up at the mention of the young mechanic’s name, she asked, “And where is Kaylee? I assumed she’d come with you.”

Shaking his head once, Simon said, “I told her I was going for a walk. She doesn’t know either,” he assured, figuring that if anyone should tell his girlfriend that her best friend was dying it should be Inara. Wiping his suddenly sweaty palms on his pant legs, he sat beside her and blurted, “I want to talk with you about your treatment.”

With a small sigh, Inara steeled herself for the coming conversation. “Simon,” she began patiently, resting a hand to his knee. “I’m not having any treatments. I’ve already told you that.”

“Inara, the chemo would increase your chances of survival by fifteen percent. Why won’t you take the chance?” Simon’s doctor persona had kicked in full force and Inara knew she was in for a very long debate.

Allowing a bit of steeliness to cloud her gaze, she told him, “Yes, Simon, I suppose it could. But it’ll also make me sick and weak. And in the end it could do nothing to help my cancer. I won’t spend the precious few months I have left confined to a bed.”

Relating to her stubbornness, but refusing to condone it, Simon forged ahead. “Inara, patients with your type of tumor have found great success with chemo. You are young and healthy as well, which increases your chances. You deserve to-“

“To what?” she bit out, her patience having run out. She already felt like enough of a coward for refusing to go through with the treatments, she didn’t need Simon swooping in here and making her feel worse. “To not die? To grow so sick and weak and pale that I’ll die a heap of skin and bones?” Simon’s blue eyes simply stared at her as her brown ones burned brightly and then again faded. “I won’t put myself through that, Simon. Or anyone else.”

“That’s why you left isn’t it?” It was a needless question; Simon knew perfectly well why Inara had left Serenity. They were from the same world after all, maybe not physically, but socially. Women of Inara’s standing did not die surrounded by family and friends. They simply disappeared never to be heard from again. It was considered more dignified that way. “You didn’t want us, Mal, to see you getting sicker?”

Blinking back an unexpected tear, she told him, “Precisely.” Minutes passed and all either of them could hear was the roar of the fire in the hearth. Simon watched Inara carefully as she raised a shaky hand to her face and brushed away a few silent tears.

Taking her hand gently in his own, he said, “At least let me examine you. Make sure things are all right.”

Nodding reluctantly, Inara agreed, and watched as Simon’s sure, steady hands opened his medkit. As he moved forward with a pen light to test her vision, she asked, “Simon, you saw all of my results, right?”

Pausing, he nodded once, and she asked in a small voice, “The tumor – is it really inoperable?”

Letting out a heavy sigh, Simon’s blue eyes grew immensely sad. “Inara, even with the best Oncology and surgical teams in the best hospital in the Core I wouldn’t take that kind of risk. I would be very, very hesitant to operate.”

Nodding once, Inara swallowed hard and let her last glimmer of hope fade.

***

Kaylee rolled over, stretching languidly, vaguely aware that Simon had wandered off a while go, claiming he wanted to go for a walk. Of course how he could find the energy for walkin’ after the endless night of fun they’d had she wasn’t rightly certain, but she didn’t mind. It only demonstrated to Kaylee that Simon’s stamina was beyond reproach – which she had also made her personal mission to prove.

Sighing contentedly, she luxuriated for a few minutes in the soft and comfortable bed. Sheydra had been kind enough to give the entire crew private accommodations if they so desired and it had been quite a while since Kaylee had had the opportunity to sleep on a real mattress. Plus, she and Simon had never made love to each in a real bed and while it would be disappointing to return to their bunk on Serenity, she was more than grateful for the experience.

Deciding she’d been lazy enough, Kaylee rose slowly, stretching some more. Heading for the bathroom, she began to draw a nice warm bath, her eyes lighting at the sight of the claw-foot, porcelain tub. Clapping her hands excitedly when she saw the multitude of bubbly-soaps at her disposal, she started sniffing them experimentally.

So wrapped up in her investigation she was not aware Simon had returned until he surprised her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and pulling her naked form against him. Gasping slightly in surprise, she wiggled a bit against him as he dropped his head to her neck and kissed her. “Mornin’,” she murmured huskily, his touch reigniting her passion from the previous evening in an instant.

“Good morning,” he said, his lips tickling her skin. Raising his head, he glanced to the tub and the open bottles and asked, “Taking a bath?”

Whirling in his embrace, she rubbed her hips against his, noting the flash of desire that lit his eyes and grinned wickedly. “Wanna join me?” she asked, nipping at his lower lip before kissing him long and hard.

Panting as they parted for air, Simon told her softly, “Desperately.” Giggling, Kaylee moved away, pouring the soap she’d selected into the full tub, while Simon undressed. Swirling her fingers in the warm liquid she let it get good and foamy, her eyes widening as she saw how high the mountains of white fluff were. Sticking one foot into the water, Kaylee sank in fully, sighing with content as comforting liquid enveloped her.

Fluttering her eyes open, she glanced to Simon, her core beginning to ache as she took in his naked form. He was staring, not something she was completely unaccustomed to, but it was the look he had, as though he’d just lost his best friend and it made her heart hurt. Reaching out a dripping hand to him, she asked quietly, “Sweetie?”

Shaking his head in an effort to clear it, Simon smiled lightly and took her hand, sliding in behind her. Kaylee sighed again as she snuggled back against him, enjoying the feel of Simon’s gentle hands as they softly stroked her skin both above and below the water. Feeling as though she could drift off again, she stifled a yawn and asked, “Didya have a nice walk?”

“What?” Simon sputtered, craning his neck to look her in the face.

Knowing something was definitely up, Kaylee shifted a bit as well and met his concerned gaze. Placing a hand to his chest, she asked him quietly, “Simon, what is it?”

Doing his best to reassure her, he smiled wide and kissed her before again hugging her to him. “Nothing, bao bei. I was just daydreaming about you.”

“Well no need to be dreamin’,” she told him, brushing her lips against his arm where it rested across her chest. “I’m right here.”

Closing his eyes, Simon thought of his visit with Inara and how sad she’d looked and then thought of Mal and how devastated he knew the man would be. Pressing a kiss to her temple, Simon let out a small sigh and murmured, “I know.”

***

“’Nara?”

Of course, he would choose now to visit. Inara cursed her weak body as she attempted to open her eyes, but once again the room was spinning and she found herself gasping as she slumped back against the sofa. Mal, as always, had perfect timing.

“’Nara?” He called again and this time knocked.

Breathing in and out as deeply as she could without causing the pain in her head to spike, she managed through gritted teeth, “Just a minute.”

Mal scowled at the closed door and burst through, done waiting. This infernal woman had kept him in the dark for over a month now and he’d had enough. More than ready to tell her exactly what he thought of all this sneaking around and secrets, he pushed open the door and stopped short at the sight before him.

Pale and panting, Inara struggled to sit up and greet him, but failed miserably. Frozen in shock, Mal wanted to go to her, wanted to help her, to hold her, but he couldn’t. He was afraid he’d break her she looked so frail and Mal had no idea what to do.

Inara saw the pain and fear that flashed in Mal’s eyes the minute he saw her and it made her nausea worse. Pushing down her own hurt at his reaction, she smiled weakly and murmured, “Surprise.”

***

“Simon!”

The man could certainly bellow. Not meeting Kaylee’s confused gaze, Simon reluctantly removed his arms from her, reaching for his sweatpants and pulling them on just as Mal pounded heavily on the door. “You best be decent,” he yelled loudly.

Grimacing, Simon stood and headed for the door, glancing back to be sure Kaylee was covered up as well. Cinching her robe around her waist, she nodded to him, her eyes wide and a bit fearful as he opened the door and allowed the captain to come storming in.

Nostrils flaring as his anger raged, Mal paced back and forth in silence for a moment, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. Moving to Kaylee’s side, Simon crossed his arms over his chest and simply waited.

He didn’t wait long.

“Fix it,” the older man demanded, whirling on him, eyes blazing.

Shrugging, Simon told him, “I can’t, Mal, I’m sorry.”

Thinking she understood, Kaylee stepped forward and said innocently, “Well o’ course he can’t, Cap. Simon’s a dummy with machines. What needs fixin’? I can do it.”

Gently tugging on her arm and pulling her back to him, Simon brushed a kiss to her hair and murmured, “No bao bei, you can’t.”

More than confused, she looked back to Mal for explanation and finally saw the start of hot tears in his eyes. “Cap?” she asked, her voice breaking although she had no idea why.

“It’s ‘Nara, lil’ Kaylee.” His voice was rough with emotion where it had been sharp with anger only seconds before. “She’s sick.”

A hand flying to her mouth, Kaylee turned those impossibly wide eyes to Simon, looking for confirmation. Brushing her hair back from her shoulder, Simon could not meet her distraught gaze. “It’s true, Kay. Inara is very ill.”

“What? When?” Kaylee was having a hard time processing this information. She knew it was bad – it would have to be for Mal to look as though his world was ending. And the look on Simon’s face … well, she’d seen it a handful of times before and the outcome had never been good. “She’s gonna be okay, right?” she breathed, her eyes pleading with Simon to tell her what she wanted to hear.

Shaking his head again, Simon told her, “No, Kaylee. She’s not. She has a very aggressive form of cancer.” More tears welled in Kaylee’s eyes, even as Mal cursed violently and stalked to the other side of the room.

“But there’s medicine an’ stuff ain’t there?” Kaylee could not accept that her best friend, so beautiful and loving was dying.

“She won’t take the treatments,” Mal answered, the bitterness evident in his tone. “I already tried.”

“As have I,” Simon agreed. “She’s very firm on that point.”

Silence circled them, like a vulture looking for a carcass and Kaylee did not like the edginess or anxiety she suddenly felt. Moving quickly, she headed back for the bathroom closing the door behind her. Simon moved to follow her, but Mal stopped him.

“You’ve been to see her?”

Nodding once, Simon told him, “I have.”

“And?” The older man was struggling to hold it together, Simon could tell. He knew exactly how he felt; it was the same feeling of dread that swirled in his gut every time River had one of her fits or Kaylee was in pain.

“It’s not good, Mal, but I suspect you already knew that.”

Releasing a heavy sigh, the captain nodded and then asked, “There’s nothin’ you can do?”

Reluctant to say no, Simon told him, “I’ve asked one of the staff physicians here to take a look at some of the tests I performed, the blood I drew. Once I get those results back, I’ll have a better idea of what Inara’s options may or may not be.”

Kaylee’s reemergence from the bathroom brought their conversation to a halt. Striding towards the door, her face had obviously been scrubbed clean, but Simon could still see the slight puffiness at the edges of her eyes to indicate she’d been crying. She’d pulled her hair back and threw on a pair of her overalls. Planting a kiss on Simon’s cheek as she passed him, she told him, “I’m goin’ to see her.” Looking to them both, she asked, “Are you comin’ or not?”

With a sigh, Mal told her, “I don’t think she wants to see me much at the moment, but yeah, lil’ Kaylee, I’ll go with ya.”

A small smile on her face, Simon was about to join them when a messenger appeared in the doorway. “Doctor Tam?”

“Yes?” Simon answered, moving to grab a shirt and cover his bare chest. “The doctor has analyzed the test results. She was wondering if you might want to join her and go over the findings?”

Squeezing his hand gently, Kaylee told him, “We’ll see ya down there.” Turning back to Mal with another big smile on her face, she threaded her arm through his and said, “C’mon, cap. We gotta go talk some sense into that woman o’ yours.”

*** “Mei mei, you’re practically glowing,” Inara effused, embracing the young woman gladly. Pulling back from her, she winked and asked quietly, “You and Simon aren’t … you know …”

“Oh goodness, ‘Nara, I hope not,” Kaylee told her, chuckling lightly at the implication she might be pregnant. “I ain’t quite ready for that step.”

“What step?” Mal asked, easily confounded by the girl shorthand the two friends shared.

“Nothing, Mal,” Inara told him, encircling one of Kaylee’s arms around her waist and leading the girl into her small living room. As they settled comfortably on the couch, Mal perched on the edge of an armchair, his eyes never drifting from Inara.

Their last conversation had not exactly ended well. She had remained her obstinate and stubborn self, while he had maintained his position as egotistical pi gu. Their discussion, which should have been about so much more than her not getting treatment, had ended with Mal storming off, threatening to strap her to a bed and give her the drugs himself. That hadn’t exactly been the best thing for him to say.

“It feels like I’ve been gone for years.” Inara simply kept talking, hoping to wipe the concerned look off of Kaylee’s face. She could sense her friend’s tension, it was obvious she knew of Inara’s condition and she couldn’t bear it. Inara knew that if Kaylee began to cry, she would as well and then all those carefully constructed walls she’d built to protect herself from the pain of this illness would come tumbling down in seconds. “Tell me about everything that’s been happening.”

“Inara,” Kaylee said urgently, taking her friend’s hand and squeezing it gently.

Ignoring her, Inara continued to ramble. “I’ll bet Jayne and Zoe are having a grand time here as well, aren’t there? And where is River? Why hasn’t she stopped by to see me yet? Before I left we’d mentioned having tea. I wonder-“

“’Nara.” The firm and straightforward sound came from Kaylee, startling both Mal and the woman she was addressing equally. Realizing she had her friend’s attention, Kaylee said, “Simon told me, ‘bout you bein’ sick.” As Inara’s eyes dropped to her lap, Kaylee edged a bit closer and asked, “How you feelin’?”

Smiling weakly, the Companion said, “I’m fine, mei mei. The headaches and dizziness come and go. The nausea is a bit uncomfortable, but I’m still able to sleep most nights.”

“Oh, ‘Nara,” Kaylee breathed, a few tears welling unbidden in her eyes.

Pulling her hand away, Inara rose on unsteady legs and told her, “Don’t feel sorry for me, Kaylee. I don’t want that. That’s why I left.”

“No, you left so’s you wouldn’t hafta fight,” Mal countered, rising and moving to stand before her. He was still hoppin’ mad that she’d kept him in the dark, but he could see the way she swayed and he’d be damned if he let her fall.

Pretending she didn’t know what he meant, Inara pursed her lips and said, “Forgive me for not having the strength to go another ten rounds with Malcolm Reynolds.” If the words stung, it didn’t show. “I didn’t want to fight, you’re right about that.”

“Ain’t talkin’ ‘bout me, darlin’,” he told her, his voice suddenly soft and low. Taking her gently by the arms, he drew her close, so close she could smell his familiar scent, could feel the heat seeping out of his body and into her own. She was always so cold now, but she knew if she let him hold her, she’d be warm forever. “You left so’s we couldn’t make you get treatment.”

With a heavy sigh, Inara found her strength failing quickly. Resting her hands on his chest, just over his heart, she turned baleful eyes to regard him and Mal felt his breath hitch in his throat. “What if I did?” she whispered, no longer willing to deny it. “I don’t want you to see me like that,” she admitted softly. “Please understand that.”

Shaking his head once, Mal placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head back just a bit farther so he could brush a kiss to her mouth. “No, darlin’, I won’t accept that. You got bags full o’ pride, I ain’t gonna deny it, but so do I. You leavin’ to deal by yourself hit me right in my manhood. You think I ain’t got the strength to take care o’ you? To help you?”

“There is no helping, Mal.” She was pleading with him now, a few stray tears making small paths down her incredibly pale cheeks. Clutching at his shirtfront, she told him, “There is no getting over this. I don’t have the flu. If I stayed on board Serenity, you’d just be taking care of me until I died.” Mal’s grip on her arms tightened a bit and Inara pleaded, “I don’t want you to carry that with you, Mal. You don’t deserve it.”

“I don’t deserve you givin’ up neither,” he retorted, his voice rising in volume. “I thought what we had was worth a fight.”

Sadly, Inara sighed and stepped away from him, instantly feeling her whole body shake as she moved out of the cocoon of his warmth. “Not when I already know the outcome.”

“’Nara, you don’t know nothin’,” Kaylee said fervently, rising to meet her friend. “You think you know, but you don’t. There’s a million, trillion different things that could happen, includin’ you gettin’ better.”

“Kaylee, I just don’t want the treatments.” Inara’s eyes were clear and steady as she took in Kaylee’s pained expression and then Mal’s angry one.

“You might,” Simon told them, standing in the doorway with data cards in his hands and the hint of a smile on his face. “Once you hear what I have to say.”

***

Four Months Later

***

“How many surgeries does this make?”

Glancing up from his read-outs, Simon smiled softly to the captain and told him, “Four.”

Nodding once, Mal entered the utilitarian office the hospital had been gracious enough to give the doc. The young man had pretty much asserted himself as chief of Inara’s care, and while any other hospital administration would probably have balked at the thwarting of authority, they’d quickly come to realize they’d never see another surgeon with Simon’s skill again. So, they’d let it slide.

Sitting back in his chair, Simon gestured for Mal to take a seat and he did. “How is she?”

“Fair,” he reported with a frown. “Weak still, an’ ornery as all get out.”

Chuckling softly, Simon said, “Well, you weren’t really expecting that to change now, were you?”

With a hint of mirth dancing in his eyes, Mal confided, “Truthfully? Woulda been a might disappointed if it had.”

The men shared a companionable silence for another minute or so before Mal slowly hauled himself out of the chair and back toward the exit. “I ‘spect she’ll be awake soon. Wanna make sure I’m there.”

Nodding once, Simon watched him go, knowing the entire situation was weighing heavily on him. “Mal?” Waiting until the Captain had turned back, Simon assured, “She really is doing remarkably well. You’re both very lucky.”

A true smile gracing his lips Mal considered the statement and agreed. “Trust me, doc, I know.”

***

The room was draped in a few silks, an incense burner going non-stop in the corner. The lights were dimmed, the harsh glare of the overheads having been replaced in the first week of Inara’s stay with dimmer table lamps. Mal and Kaylee had done their best to Inara-fy the room, and while the nurses and doctors found it a bit distracting, they could also tell how much more at ease their patient was when surrounded by such familiar things.

Mal entered on silent feet, not eager to wake Inara. She’d only been out of surgery for a few hours, the latest round of gene therapy coming quickly on the heels of her first round of chemo. She was tired and worn out and weak, Mal knew. All the things she’d vowed never to be. But then, it wasn’t about her anymore and Inara could no longer afford to be selfish.

Moving to her side, Mal rested a gentle hand on the small bump of her belly. At five months she was showing now and he loved seeing it. Simon and the docs had assured him that the baby would be fine, that nothing they were currently doing would endanger its health. And that reassurance had been the final factor in Inara’s decision. She had to fight now, because not only did she have Mal to live for, she was carrying his child as well.

Best as they could tell, the baby had been conceived the night before she’d left and Mal often pondered the wonder of the ‘verse. What kind of fate conspired to give them this miracle? He only hoped that asking for another one wouldn’t appear greedy. He needed another one.

He didn’t want to raise this baby alone, he wasn’t rightly sure he could. Of course Kaylee and River and maybe even Zoe would more than likely help, but that’s not what Mal wanted for his child. He wanted him or her to know its mother, this incredibly courageous and beautiful woman whose heart was so big it could fill Serenity ten times over. And he wanted Inara to have the chance to be a mother, because he knew she’d be an exceptional one.

Pulling him back to the present, Inara stirred, a small murmur escaping her lips. Leaning over her, he brushed a kiss to her mouth, coaxing her back to consciousness. “Hey there beautiful.”

“Mal,” she sighed. She felt his warm hand against her stomach, his other clutching at hers and forced her eyes open. “Hey you,” she murmured. She knew she’d fall asleep again quickly, but she wanted to enjoy some quality time with the man she loved.

“You feelin’ all right?” he asked, his voice low and soothing.

Nodding slightly, her forehead creased as the motion caused a small stab of pain to dart behind her eyes. “Is everything okay?” she asked, her other hand moving slowly to cover the one he held over her expanding belly.

“Yup, you an’ the munchkin are doin’ great.” Mal’s smile warmed her heart and Inara sighed once more, feeling the unstoppable pull of sleep. Watching as she struggled to stay awake, Mal kissed her again and said, “It’s all right, darlin’. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Mal.” Her tone was a bit more forceful this time, more urgent and he leaned forward, one hand softly running down her cheek.

“What is it, ‘Nara?” he asked quietly.

“I’m sorry.” She wasn’t sure if she’d told him that before or not. Things were often very jumbled when she came out of surgery and the tumor, while it had been shrinking, was still reeking havoc on her memory. “I’m sorry I left before. I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have-“

A tear broke free and slid down into her hair and Mal pressed a finger to her lips. “That’s all behind us now, ‘Nara. All that matters now is this lil’ one an’ you gettin’ better. Dong ma?”

She nodded once, knowing any other discussion would have to wait. Inara was already entering her dreamscape where she was warm and whole and Mal was there, holding her and their baby as she fed the little one at her breast. She liked being there and so with a small sigh, she drifted off again.

Mal sat and stared, as was his custom, far into the night.

***

Serra Mae Reynolds was born three and a half months later, kicking and screaming. Inara was awake for the birth, crying tears of joy at the sight of her perfect, red-faced baby girl. Mal was there, had been at her side for the entire ten hours, and wiped at the tears of joy that fell, not caring how unmanly it seemed.

As Inara held the child to her, smiling down into that tiny face, now placid and calm as sleep had claimed her, she looked to Mal with tear-filled eyes and murmured, “She’s beautiful, Mal. Look what we did.”

“Look what you did, darlin’,” he whispered back, pressing a kiss to her forehead before placing one to her mouth.

Inara cried a bit more, her tears falling steadily and wetting the receiving blanket they’d wrapped around the infant. Mal scooted into bed next to her, cradling both mother and daughter to him, feeling proud and happy and scared all at once. He found himself dozing quickly the stress of the birth taking its toll on the father as well.

He wouldn’t awaken for at least an hour, not until Serra started wailing, her small fists waving about. Sitting up swiftly, Mal glanced quickly to the baby and then to Inara, expecting to see her fussing to quiet the child. Only then did Mal realize why Serra was screaming. The bond between a mother and child was above any other.

With trembling hands he took Serra from her arms, cradling her to him and pressing a kiss to his wife’s mouth one last time. “I will always love you, ‘Nara,” he whispered, fighting the urge to cry, before he slowly moved from the bed to a nearby rocking chair Holding his daughter, he told her stories of a raven-haired beauty with a heart as big as the ‘verse for the rest of the night.

***

The End