A/N: This is a prompt from a table which you can see here.

Just a bit of Simon/Kaylee fluff. Unbeta'd, so take pity on me!

And this is dedicated to Leiasky who needed a bit of Silee goodness today!

***

08. Leather

Kaylee practically skipped to her bunk, a grin on her features and a song in her heart. She had just finished a breakfast of molded protein, but even the memory of the bland food could not diminish her cheer – before her morning meal she had awoken in Simon’s warm arms, his mouth pressing against her temple as he murmured words of love and devotion to her while she slept.

With a beautifully wonderful feeling of butterflies and content swirling through her gut, she kicked open her bunk’s hatch and descended the ladder, ready to start the day so that she could more quickly finish it again with Simon. Their past few months together had been amazing in every sense of the word and Kaylee hoped, and secretly believed, that she would never tire of the feel of his mouth on hers or the way his hands and touch could enliven her very being.

Trembling a bit at the mere thought, Kaylee tried to push it away as she flitted around her bunk, shedding her clothes from the day before and changing. She was just about to head back up and to the engine room to tinker away, when the sight of something on her bed made her stop. Curious, she approached and saw the brown leather of some type of book. Leaning down, she picked it up, her fingers curling around the soft, faded material. She recognized it in an instant as it could only be one of Simon’s many journals.

Wondering how it had ever gotten here, she flipped through the pages, the paper making that comforting crinkling sound. Kaylee saw that this book was full of writing, sentences upon sentences and in stark contrast to Simon’s other journals, the ones he kept in the infirmary with notes on the crew’s health and medical discoveries. Those journals, from what she had seen, were more lists with small notes scribbled to the side. But these pages were full of his neat handwriting and she found herself curious to read it.

Settling onto her bunk, Kaylee continued to flip through it, and stopped about midway when she noted her name on one of the pages. With another wide smile, she opened the book fully, and began to read.

***

“Kaylee?”

Simon called down to Kaylee’s bunk, having grown a bit concerned when lunch time rolled around and she was no where to be found. It wasn’t like her to miss a meal or a chance to see him, truthfully, and his concern over her absence quickly grew into fear only a lover could harbor.

“Kaylee, are you all right?” Still receiving no response, Simon threw caution to the wind and kicked open her hatch, descending the ladder quickly. As soon as he glimpsed her, sitting on her bunk, her knees bent and her eyes focused firmly on something in her lap, he breathed a sigh of relief. Stepping off the last rung, he did not move towards her, but instead called again, “Kaylee?”

She finally lifted her eyes to meet his and his breath caught in his throat. Her beautiful and smooth cheeks were stained with tears, while her wide green eyes continued to water. Moving to her side in an instant, Simon sat beside her and cupped her cheek with his hand, asking quietly, “Bao bei, what is it? Are you all right?”

Kaylee held his concerned blue-eyed gaze with her own, but could not bring herself to speak. Finally, she allowed her eyes to drop back to her lap and Simon’s followed, his hand pulling away from her and a sharp dread filling his gut as he saw what she had balanced against the tops of her legs.

In a measured tone, he managed, “Where did you get that?”

Kaylee could read his anger and it only made her tears come faster. Closing the book hurriedly, she thrust it at him and said tearily, “It was here, on my bunk, when I got back from breakfast.”

Snatching it from her, Simon paced across the room angrily and when he turned back to her, his voice had risen in volume. “How is that possible, Kaylee? I didn’t leave it here. This book never leaves my bunk.”

Shaking her head quickly, Kaylee could only wrap her arms around herself as she told him, “I swear, Simon, it was just sittin’ right here.” Watching as his body shook with contained ire, she finally lowered her voice and asked, “Why’re you so mad?”

“Because, Kaylee,” he shouted, not at all caring how his voice carried. Waving the book at her, he continued, “Some things are private. Some things are not meant to be shared.”

“Not even with me?” Her voice had again dropped in pitch and it took Simon a minute to register her words. He knew he should apologize, that he should at least give her the benefit of the doubt, but his fear at knowing she had just been privy to some of his innermost thoughts, only continued to churn in his gut.

“Why’s it gotta be private from me?” she asked when he didn’t answer her first question. Sliding off her bunk, Kaylee approached him cautiously, and rested a cool hand to his cheek. “Don’t ya trust me?”

Still too angry to even form a coherent answer, Simon could only say the first words that popped into his three percent brain. “Not any more.”

Whirling away from her, he stormed up her ladder, tucking the journal securely in the back waistband of his pants so his ascent could be quick. As he strode angrily away from her bunk, Simon tried to ignore her tearful calls and the sounds of her sobs.

***

Simon was still fuming in the infirmary moments later when River floated in. Having felt his anger all the way on the bridge, she stood in the doorway, regarding his tense form and had to roll her eyes at her boob of a brother. He had come so very far in the year they had been living out in the black. He had even finally given into his feelings for Kaylee.

But River knew, better than anyone, including Simon that he needed to let go, with his whole heart, if he was ever to have a chance at true happiness. Not the measured, safe, controlled happiness he currently had, but real, messy, wonderful joy he was trying so desperately to pretend he didn’t need.

Moving forward on silent feet, River saw the brown journal which he still had tucked in his belt and plucked it out, snatching it in her lithe fingers. Whirling at the touch, Simon’s eyes were still blazing and River met his gaze with a harshness of her own.

Shaking the book in his face, she asked him hotly, “Why are you hiding?”

As he reached for it, River pulled the journal farther away from him and watched as her brother seethed. Gritting his teeth, he told her, “River, give it back.”

“No,” she told him simply, meeting his gaze unflinchingly. She had known her brother all her life and his looks of disapproval and anger had long ago stopped having any effect. “You need to stop hiding.”

Bitterly, Simon sighed and finally indulged her. “What are you talking about?”

Stepping towards him, River placed a light hand over his heart and said quietly, “You’re hiding what’s in here, by keeping it in here.” She pulled the journal out from behind her back and his eyes drifted to it sullenly. “Not fair to trade one hiding place for another. Not when you have someone to entrust your heart to.”

Realizing her meaning, Simon stepped back from her and took the journal, which she finally released. “You gave this to Kaylee.” It wasn’t really a question, just a confirmation, but River nodded once anyway.

“She deserves to know what’s in there, because it’s what’s in here.” She again reached out and placed a light hand over his heart and when Simon brought his eyes to meet hers, he saw her teary gaze and her sincerity.

Still upset, he told her, “Mei mei, some things are private, that’s just the way I am.”

Nodding once, River told him, “True, but just because that’s the way you’ve always been doesn’t mean it’s right.” Pausing again, she watched him for another moment and then added, “Time to change, Simon. Change for good.”

With another sad smile, River leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek and then floated out just the way she’d come. With a heavy sigh, Simon stood still and quiet in the infirmary for quite a while trying to determine how he was ever going to make things right with the beautiful mechanic he had long ago lost his heart to.

***

Kaylee had not been able to leave her bunk once Simon had stormed off. With fresh tears welling in her eyes, she had simply curled up onto her bed, crying hard and trying to think of a way to make it up to him. She had known she shouldn’t have read his journal, but she had been unable to resist the temptation and now she realized it might have cost her the one true love she’d ever had.

The sound of feet on metal rungs made her breath catch and she froze, her face turned away from the ladder as she heard someone quietly enter and then close the hatch. Unable to turn for fear that it wouldn’t be Simon and she would simply start sobbing all over again, Kaylee wiped her cheeks hurriedly and kept her face turned to wall.

With a quiet sigh that she recognized instantly, she felt Simon sit on the edge of her bed and rest a gentle hand to her shoulder. “Kaylee?”

“Go ‘way, Simon, I know you’re still mad.” Her voice was thick with tears and she hiccupped once as she fought to catch a breath.

“Kaylee, look at me, please.”

Sighing heavily, Kaylee decided that it was only fair. If he wanted to yell at her again, than he deserved the right to do so – it was she after all, who had done wrong. Rolling over onto her back, she met his concerned gaze and felt more tears come. She knew in that moment that if Simon could not forgive her, and she never saw that look of love from him again, her life would be over.

“Oh, Kaylee,” he murmured, reaching out a hand and cupping her cheek.

Sitting up, and leaning into his touch, Kaylee whispered urgently, “I’m real sorry, Simon. I didn’t mean to make you so mad. I shouldn’t o’ read it. It’s just I saw it here and I thought maybe you wanted me to. I know that’s stupid.” She was babbling, trying to convince him of her pure intentions and Simon let her ramble for another minute, before placing a light kiss to her salty lips.

When they parted, she took another deep breath and held his gaze. Keeping a light hand to her cheek, he told her quietly, “I shouldn’t have yelled. That was wrong. I just ….” He paused uncertain of what to say, how to explain, but his sister’s words haunted him and he knew he had to go on. “I’m a very private person, Kaylee.”

Smiling lightly at him, she nodded once and said, “I know.”

Returning her smile, he continued. “I’ve been very guarded for a very long time and I’ve never shared my truest or deepest feelings with anyone.”

Her eyes watered a bit more as Kaylee inched closer to him and took his hand. “It ain’t good to keep all that bottled up.”

Smiling ruefully, he told her dryly, “Yes, I’m starting to see that.” Pausing again, he finally held her gaze and said, “Living out here, where everything and everyone is so raw, so exposed, writing things down, it helps me think. Sometimes I need the release of getting things off my chest and knowing that I won’t be judged.”

Gripping his hand tighter, Kaylee told him quickly, “I won’t never judge you, Simon.”

“I know, bao bei,” he told her, brushing the hand he held to her face against her cheek and catching some more of her tears. “I know that, but you’re the first person I’ve ever known who wouldn’t, so it’s probably going to take me some time to get used to that.”

They held each other’s gazes for a minute more and then Simon brought the journal back into view. Pulling his hand from hers, he flipped through it, finding a page towards the back that he was fairly certain Kaylee had not seen. Handing it towards her, open, he asked, “You want to read it?”

Eyeing it dangerously, Kaylee backed up a bit and shook her head. “No, that’s okay. It’s private.”

Smiling at her, Simon leaned in and kissed her, deeply. “True,” he whispered against her mouth when they finally parted. “But some things shouldn’t be and I think I’ve kept this to myself quite long enough.”

With a bit of confusion creasing her brow, Kaylee reached out a shaky hand and took the book, reading slowly down the page. Simon watched her, growing decidedly more uncomfortable as she continued to read; he wasn’t a gifted writer, by any stretch, but he supposed that his ability to put thoughts on paper far outweighed his inability to put words in his mouth – he just hoped he was right.

After incalculable minutes when Simon knew she had to be done, he placed a finger under her chin and brought her face back up to meet his gaze. His breath caught as he realized she was crying again, and his heart plummeted to his gut as he realized he had probably overestimated his own prose. Taking the book gently from her and placing it aside, he whispered, “It was that bad, huh?”

Smiling at him despite her tears, Kaylee could only shake her head quickly, before launching herself into his arms. Placing a passionate and deep kiss to his mouth, Simon had no way of knowing how long they kissed, but when they finally parted, he did know that he had the best thing in the ‘verse – the love of an extraordinary woman.

Leaning her mouth to his ear, Kaylee kissed his cheek and simply whispered, “No, sweetie, it was beautiful.”

***