I'm not really that pleased with this chapter, but here it is. And to all of you lovely folks who review, could you evaluate my attempts at humor? I think that's the worst part of my writing, and I really want to get better at it. FYI: Canton is a real town in China. Just thought I'd let you know. AN: This has been in the general spot for awhile, but I didn't realize it. Sorry if that threw any off!

Jayne's Girl

Simon and Kaylee's wedding had taken place not exactly as they had planned it: while Kaylee was lying nearly dead in the infirmary with Book very quickly blessing them, though neither of them was religious. Kaylee had been injured in the engine room while they had been involved in a pretty rocky landing. A falling piece of thing had banged her on the head, knocking her unconscious. Simon wasn't sure if she was going to make it, so they second she briefly woke up, he asked Book to marry them. The confused preacher did as he was asked and Kaylee barely had time to squeak out and “I do” before she fainted again. Thankfully, Simon brought her back to normal and she was fine. Neither of them had ever wanted renew their vows; it seemed like they never had time to do it when they had tried, so eventually they just gave up. Maybe one day they would have a proper wedding, but most likely not while they were on the ship. Almost immediately after they had gotten married, Kaylee had gotten pregnant with twins. The two little runts had turned out to be blessings, with their son Bert (Bertrand Tracey was his real name, but he never used it) being more like Kaylee than like Simon. He had her light hair, her hazel eyes, and his mother's signature smile. It was the first thing that Simon had noticed about his son. The first time he smiled, Simon knew that he would be channeling his mother. He acted like her, too: he was very adventurous and crawled everywhere that he could, though his favorite place was sitting in with Mommy in her hammock in the engine room while he napped. Their daughter, Ali, whose name had been shortened from Alimade Olivia, was much more like Simon, with his dark hair and blue eyes. She was more serious than Bert and preferred hearing stories to making them up. She had her father's protectiveness, as it was apparent even at this young age. She would stay close to Bert whenever he chose to go on an “adventure,” but she never smiled like he did: she was worried about her brother. River predicted that Ali would want to dance when she got older, and neither Simon nor Kaylee argued with that prediction. River was a psychic, after all. Kieran and Spence hadn't wanted to let the twins play with them at first, but Tripp included them. He also changed the name of the group from Space Boys to Space Boys and Girl. It was all they ever played, with Bert's nickname being the “Captain of Adventure” and Ali's being the “Protector,” the twins were never left out. Even if they had no idea what they were playing. They both played their roles well. Though he was just three, Tripp did have a knack for reading people. His parents were starting to wonder if he had somehow become psychic, too. Early one morning, Mal received contact from a man back on Canton as a job request. It was the same man in the fancy pants who had worked for Kessler. “Captain Reynolds?” he began, though not with the same prim and proper attitude he had shown in the bar, perhaps because Inara and Spence, who had had a nightmare, were sleeping on the bed right behind him. “Yeah,” Mal confirmed. “Don't think I ever got yer name, friend. Mind tellin' me what it is?” “Benito,” he told Mal. “I've taken over for Kessler. I've got some cargo that you might want over here on Canton.” Mal chewed on his lip. He didn't particularly want to go back to mudder land, but there was no choice. The Alliance was cracking down on people even more, making it nearly impossible for Serenity to get jobs, even though they needed them more, what with the children. “Is my hero still a hero?” Benito chuckled. “Jayne?” He shook his head. “Not so much. They would have put the statue back up, but the dead mudder's father came and made an inspiring speech about how heroes are only what we make them out to be or something along those lines. There's a few folk who will still idolize him, but not so many.” “Good to know,” Mal said proudly. “We'll take it.” “You've got four hours,” Benito informed him. “What!” Mal's exclamation woke up Spence, who immediately started crying. The noise woke up Inara. “Hold on sec,” he said to Benito as he pulled a screaming Spence from his confused mother's arms. “Hey there, little one,” Mal cooed to Spence. Seeing the tough captain willingly expose his softer side only made Benito admire the man more. He bounced Spence up and down on his knee a bit until he settled down. “Spence, say hi to Benito. He's gonna put some food in your mouth.” Spence gurgled. “Benito, this here's my son Spence. That there's the proud mommy.” He pointed to Inara, who ducked back under the covers. “Mal, what are you doing?” “Business dealings,” Mal smirked with his usual air of playful arrogance. Benito found the scene a tad odd. He refrained from commenting. “Anyway, Benito, back to business. We'll never be able to make it there in four hours, 'less we run full burn.” “Then run full burn,” Benito instructed. “This is live cargo. They need to get where they're going.” “Live cargo?” Inara's voice echoed from the background. “Mal, how much did you bother to find out before you took the job?” “It's just plants,” Benito told them. “They need a special environment to grow and have a limited lifetime outside of it.” Inara couldn't help smirking. “So you go from bobble headed geishas to black market plants.” Mal ignored her. “We'll be there. Don't you worry.” With that, he shut the screen off and turned to Inara. “People love those geishas.” He stuck his face close to Spence and said, “Tell her, buddy. Tell mommy that people love those dolls.” Spence laughed and clapped his hands. Inara rolled her eyes and came over to give both of her boys a kiss. “Say thank you to Mommy, Spence. Daddy says thank you, too.” *** Later, at dinner, Mal announced their newest job to the crew. As expected, the reactions varied between the crew members. Simon and Kaylee, of course, smiled at the memory. Kaylee constantly reminded him throughout their courtship and their marriage that he was much sweeter and much cuter drunk. He didn't appreciate these comments all that much, but he finally decided that it was funny. Jayne didn't particularly even want to set down on the rock in light of what happened last time. “Do I gotta do this job? I mean, can moonbrain take my spot on this one?” He looked at Mal with pleading eyes, and Mal didn't have the heart to say no, even though he knew that Jayne having both of them would be better. “No need to have two gunners on this one,” Mal agreed, nodding nicely to Jayne. “It'll be a simple job. No need to have both of you. River can take this one.” River smiled at Jayne. “Easy job, Cobb. Ship is where the mother hens stay, clucking about their flocks.” Jayne stared at her funnily. “Mother hens? How many times have I got to tell you? Jayne may be a girl's name, but Jayne ain't a girl. Do I gotta show you my man parts 'gain?” He reached down to his pants to unzip his zipper. Simon's eyes nearly popped out of his head. “What do you mean 'again?'” “Need I remind us that there are T-O-D-D-L-E-Rs around?” Inara chided, covering Spence's little ears. Kieran turned to his mom, which was kind of hard since he was situated on her lap. “Mommy, what are man parts? Do I have them? What about you?” The whole crew burst out laughing at the serious, curious look he had on his face and Zoe's reaction: shock and incomprehension. She turned to Wash, who offered no help at all. “Don't look at me,” he said, throwing his hands up. “I'm just the husband.” Zoe smirked sarcastically. “With the two boys.” “This is gonna end up on me, isn't it?” Zoe kissed him on the forehead. “You have ten years. I think that's adequate preparation time. If I'd thought of it earlier, I would've told you.” “I'll be in our bunk,” Wash said, getting up from the table. Tripp's face scrunched up and said, “I don't get it.” *** Mal, Zoe, and River stepped off the boat in the middle of the mudders' world. Not much had changed since the last time they were there. Except that there was the dangerous possibility that they might be recognized by someone. Luckily, Benito had arranged to meet up with them right outside the ship. The change that Benito had gone through made him almost unrecognizable: he no longer wore the fancy clothes that gave him away in the bar. Benito looked more like a regular, low down criminal than the fancy fellow that he had been before. He stood with two other men beside him, both with big crates and even bigger guns. “Ah, Benito,” Mal greeted. “When you said this job would be easy, well, I wasn't expectin' you to hand to us.” Benito shot him a cold hard look that Mal supposed resembled a smile. “This isn't the finest place to be when it comes to goods, in case you haven't noticed. I want this done quickly. I have no time for games and no need for pecks.” He made a motion with his hands, and the men with the crates dragged them over to Mal and the others. The two men with the really big guns stepped back. “Thanks for the cargo,” Mal said with a nod. “We'll wave you when we get to Red Lion.” “Wait,” Benito called after them, confused. “Don't you know about the other cargo?” “What other cargo?” Mal asked distractedly, watching River and Zoe set the boxes down not so carefully. “Be good with that. It could be fragile.” “It's cargo for Cobb.” Mal chuckled a little bit. “Jayne Cobb? Ain't got a thing to do with him bein' a hero, do it? He wouldn't take to kindly to that.” “I think Cobb wants to be here for this one,” Benito said, his tone extremely serious. “It's a life altering fact.” Mal was starting to worried. He had no clue what Benito was taking about, but anything that altered Jayne's life indirectly effected everyone on the ship's life, too. He turned to Zoe. “Zoe, call down my crew. Not the kids. Somebody should stay an' watch 'em.” “I'll watch,” River volunteered. She skipped off up the steps, smiling all the way. “Got it, sir,” Zoe said. She punched the button and said into the intercom, “All crew down in the hold now. River's got the kids.” Within seconds, the entire crew had assembled down in the hold. They stared out in wonderment as Benito took the hand of a child that none of the three had noticed before. He led the girl out to the center of the group. “Jayne Cobb, I'd like you to meet your daughter.” Jayne's jaw literally dropped. “My what?” Wash laughed silently. He leaned over to Zoe and whispered, “You know, this is just like the time Mal got a wife.” He paused and reflected quietly. “Except she isn't going to kill us.” Zoe replied seriously, “I'm not sure, honey. She is related to Jayne. In a few years, who knows what she can do?” Kaylee positively beamed at this news. “I didn't even know you were married! Congratulations!” “I ain't got no daughter,” Jayne said stubbornly, even though it became harder to deny as he looked into the face of the little girl. The way she held herself, the color of her hair, the shape of her ears and nose. He could see himself in her. “This is your daughter,” Benito repeated. He then turned to the little girl and said with a sugar voice, “Sweetie, why don't you go talk to Mr. Yuri for a minute?” “Okay,” the little girl exclaimed. She ran over to one of the men, who had conveniently put his gun down and held her in his arms. Benito smiled at the child and returned his glance to the crew of Serenity. “Do you remember that mudder you bedded?” Jayne gladly reminisced. “Some of the best damn-” “Jayne!” Kaylee reprimanded. “You don't gotta be crude all the time.” Benito interrupted what might have been an argument between the two of them. “Anyway, she was impregnated that night with that girl over there. She died a few weeks back from some unknown disease.” Kaylee squeezed Simon's hand in reassurance. Since Tripp had almost died, Simon had become a lot more sensitive to saving people, even those he couldn't save. She didn't know why he had suddenly gotten this strong desire to save every single person in the entire 'verse. Every time she tried to talk about it, they were interrupted by the twins or he would change the subject. “She wrote in her will that the child was to go to her father, wherever he would go,” Benito told them. “So you could take the girl or leave her will us. I have to say, I advise you to take her with you. She won't have a very good life here. All she could look forward to is being a mudder when she grows up. There's much more opportunity out there for her if you take her with you.” The news left everyone shell-shocked. Jayne scratched his head, unable to find the words to express... whatever he was feeling. He stared at Benito with a soft look in his eyes, like he cared what happened to her. He broke the silence by saying, with a cracked voice, “Name. What's her name?” “Emmy Yvonne Cobb,” Benito informed him. “The mother, Narcissa Crenn, wanted to keep your last name as a tribute to the hero of Canton.” “I'm gonna take her,” Jayne said definitively and authoritatively. “I'll bring her up on the ship. Be a daddy.” “Emmy.” Benito called her over. She ran to his side. “Yeah, Uncle Benito?” “This is your daddy, Emmy.” The stone faced man finally showed some emotion. “He wants to take you with him on his ship.” Emmy stared down her star struck father. “Mommy said you was a good guy an' I'd get ta come with you someday. I wanna come.” She rushed at Jayne and wrapped her little self around his legs. Jayne had no clue what to do. He looked pathetically at Kaylee, who was the most maternal of them all when it came to kids, for advice. She mimed picking Emmy up. Jayne, who had picked up the other kids on the crew before, expertly grabbed her and positioned her on his hip. She threw her arms around his neck and whispered loudly to him, “I love you, Daddy.” Jayne cleared his throat oddly. “I-I love ya, too, uh... uh, Emmy. Yeah, Emmy. I love ya, too.”