A/N: As promised, here is the next chapter of The Right To Love replete with angsty goodness.

Thanks to Leiasky once again for the beta. There's no one quite like her.

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9

Link to prompt table

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The Right To Love - Chapter 10 (Prompts 61-65)

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061. Music

It was the middle of the night and everyone else was asleep. The lanterns had been extinguished, the food and presents cleaned up. But River still stood in the middle of the clearing they had used as a dance floor, swaying to the music that flowed through her mind.

There were many different tunes swirling around and through her: the sweet lilting song of her brother and Kaylee, their love for one another ringing true in a major key with a recognizable motif that warmed River’s heart, was the clearest. There was the passionate and resonant sound of Mal and Inara, their score having started out frantic and hurried as they had made love to one another, before they’d fallen asleep, the melody working itself into a somewhat darker tune that spoke of the scars they were hiding.

There was Zoe’s song, just a couple of sad notes picked out on a piano in a minor key. Zoe’s song had always been minor, always sad, even before Wash’s death; his absence had just made it shorter.

Jayne’s rhythm was jaunty and tuneful, raucous instruments improvising beats and melodies just as Jayne improvised most of his life. It was the one tune River always tried to hear when she needed some cheering as it normally brought a smile to her face. But it didn’t work tonight.

There was another song she could hear, a sinister one, menacing and foreboding. Strings and brass played at pitches almost out of the range of human hearing, causing a vibration to echo through her, setting her on edge. And then without warning, the strings would screech, their staccato beat never the same, their tune jarring and frightening. It was his music. The music of fear and intimidation; the music of power and greed; the music of anger and pain.

Turning around in a dizzying circle, River dropped to the ground in tears, burying her face in her hands. His music needed to stop, it needed to come to an end. Rising on shaky legs, River headed back for the house, feeling the comforting sounds of her family envelope her as she tried to drift off to sleep.

062. Sound

Mal had decided, not too long after he woke in a hospital bed, bloody, beaten and bruised, that we was going to kill Adeli Niska. He had known that it might be considered a bit rash to knowingly and willingly hunt down a man who had tortured him nearly to death not once, but twice, but with a clear head and an even clearer conscience, it was a choice he’d made. A judgment call on his part, after having weighed all the pros and cons, and he was going to stick to it.

That’s why he was the least surprised of them all when Badger waved them at Kaylee’s folks, telling Mal to call him from Serenity. The weasely little man chewed on the inside of his cheek, his eyes darting about as if afraid he’d be set upon at any minute. Of course, he probably was, and his discomfort brought a tight smile to Mal’s lips.

“What’s the good word, Badger?” he asked jovially, masking his disgust for the man with practiced ease.

“Well, Malcolm, can’t say I ‘spected you to still be breathin’,” Badger taunted, trying to hide his own unease and failing miserably. “Thought fer sure Niska’d have hunted you down by now. He don’t like it when his enemies fight back.”

“Tell me somethin’ I don’t know,” Mal muttered. As Badger stared at him for a minute more, Mal added, “Seriously, Badger, tell me somethin’ I don’t know; like where that hun dan is.”

“I only pass along this information because you paid me good coin to get it,” Badger said with fake sincerity, coding in the coordinates and sending them to Serenity’s nav console. “But it breaks my heart to think of what Niska’s gonna do to ya.”

“Your concern is touching,” Mal shot back sarcastically, reading over the information as it scrolled across the screen. Not bad, Niska was only about a week’s ride from her. “Pleasure doin’ business with ya, Badge.”

Scowling at him, the little man grumbled, “No, it ain’t,” before ending the transmission.

Smiling tightly, Mal muttered, “No, it ain’t,” and then headed back to the Fryes. It was time to collect his merc, his second and his pilot and blow that bastard away.

***

Kaylee awoke to the sound of muffled voices, followed quickly by the scuff of the door against the floor as it swung open and then shut again. Keeping her eyes closed, she felt the bed shift beside her as Simon climbed back in, his arms falling around her and holding her close. When he then sighed heavily into her hair, kissing her forehead, she knew something was up.

“What’s goin’ on?” she asked, her voice muffled from where her head was resting against his chest.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were awake,” Simon said, looking down at her as her eyes blinked open. “Sleep okay?”

Nestling into him, she smiled and said, “Jus’ shiny, but you didn’t answer my question.”

His eyes clouding for a moment, Kaylee watched him struggle to withhold the information from her. He didn’t often keep her in the dark, it wasn’t really in his nature, especially since they had shared so much with each other, but he was straining to do so now and it unsettled her.

Pressing another kiss to her forehead, he closed his eyes, pretending to want to go back to sleep and murmured, “It’s nothing, bao bei.”

“Oh, it is most definitely somethin’,” she scolded, pulling back from him. As he again looked to her this time with true conflict raging in his blue eyes, she rested a hand to his face and said, “Tell me, Simon.”

With a heavy sigh, Simon held her gaze, his hand against her cheek and said evenly, “We know where Niska is.”

Kaylee gasped at this admission, her eyes filling with sudden tears, her body freezing at just the mention of the man’s name. “Is he here?” she breathed, her heart pounding uncontrollably in her chest.

Pulling her tight to him again and trying to soothe her, Simon said, “No, Kaylee, he’s not. He’s far away from here, he can’t hurt you anymore.”

Nodding once against his chest, Kaylee buried her face against him, still angry and pained that the man could inspire such fear in her. Shaking slightly, she held Simon back tightly as he kept her close, grateful that she wasn’t alone.

Just as she felt her heart rate slow, it started racing again, and she bolted upright, flying out of Simon’s arms, startling him. “We should go,” she said hurriedly, rising quickly and moving to pack. “If’n we know where he is, then he prolly knows where we are.” With shaking hands she moved about the room, opening drawers and pulling at clothes, leaving things disheveled in her wake. She couldn’t concentrate long enough to finish a task and so she just went from one to the next, trying to keep busy and not remember. “We need to go,” she kept murmuring.

Simon rose and went to her as she reached into the closet throwing their clothes onto the floor in a heap, her whole body shaking. Reaching for her hands, he wrapped his arms around hers and pulled her close to him, whispering in her ear, “You’re safe, Kaylee. I promise. We don’t have to leave. I’m here, it’s all right.”

The sound of a stifled sob echoed through the room as Kaylee turned in his embrace and buried her head against him, her arms winding around his back and holding him tight. Simon embraced her just as intently, and then guided her back to bed. Her eyes were still wide and frantic as she lay down with him, and Simon checked her pulse quickly, feeling it race under his fingers.

“Kaylee,” he said quietly, using his best doctor voice. “Kaylee, you need calm down. Breathe, bao bei.”

She tried, she really did and Simon knew it, but soon she was hyperventilating her body heaving as she couldn’t take in a steady breath. Leaving her for a moment, he opened his bag and pulled out a loaded syringe. Sitting beside her on the bed, he turned her arm towards him and said softly, “I’m going to give you something to help you calm down, all right?”

She nodded to him once, and almost as soon as Simon slid the medicine into her veins her eyes were drifting shut, the smoother taking rapid effect. He watched her breathe in and out for a moment, relieved that she was resting. Of course, now that she was quiet all he could hear was the sound of his own heart pounding in his chest with rage.

He didn’t want to be vengeful, it wasn’t really his nature, but Simon had never wanted to kill someone as badly as he wanted to murder Niska. That sadistic creep had done this to his beautiful Kaylee and it was something he could not forgive, could not excuse. He could not sit idly by any longer and watch her suffer.

Leaving her for only a moment, Simon made his way down to the kitchen where he knew Mal and Inara were already up, despite the early hour. At his entrance his friends turned to face him, quizzical looks on their faces. Focusing his eyes only on Mal, Simon told him firmly, “I want to go.”

063. Silence

She was silent now, sleeping, but she wasn’t quiet. River had drifted to Kaylee’s side not long after Simon had administered the smoother. She had found her friend sleeping, alone, and River knew it was because Simon had finally and truly thought less and decided to act.

Sitting beside Kaylee, River ran a gentle hand through her soft hair and stared. Sleep, unconsciousness, stillness, these were all silent moments for most people, moments of peace to be enjoyed, but they weren’t for River. There was always something, some sound, some voice, some whisper to haunt her. And while the only noise Kaylee was currently making was the small in and exhalations of breath, to River she was screaming.

Screaming with fear and anger and need; River’s eyes welled at the pain that pulsed through her, piercing her heart with an intensity that made her gasp. It had affected them all deeply to see Kaylee so distraught, but this pain, as her mind relived her torture was more devastating than any other. Placing a hand to the side of her head, River closed her eyes and tried to still some of that pain, tried to pull it from Kaylee’s mind and into her own. River had experience with this kind of trauma; she could handle it. Kaylee would only be destroyed by it.

Simon found them like this, the two women he loved most in the ‘verse sitting in silence. Moving to River’s side, he saw tears running down her cheeks and with a whisper he called to her, “Mei mei?”

Taking a deep breath, River turned to him, blinking her eyes open. With a small sigh, she told him quietly, “I was wrong.” Then, rising slowly, she backed out of the room, hugging her arms around herself, wishing that Kaylee’s silent screams weren’t so loud.

064. Ocean

The last time she was truly, blissfully happy had been at the beach, baking under the hot sun, making love to Simon and then frolicking in the waves. It was the memory she retreated to most often, the memory she retreated to now, even as the sound of the roaring ocean had been replaced with the hard pounding of rain on the window and thunder booming overhead.

It was a summer storm that Kaylee remembered all too well from her childhood. She’d gotten caught in them numerous times, running home, soaking wet and laughing. She’d been frightened by them too occasionally, the bright flashes of lightening and the loud rumbles of thunder a bit unsettling to a small child.

Kaylee stared out the window now, having awoken to the sounds of the storm alone. Simon was gone, no doubt back on Serenity prepping the ship for its voyage – no, for its hunt. They were leaving tomorrow and Kaylee found herself growing more and more ill at the thought.

Almost without realizing it she rose slowly, her cotton pajamas clinging to her as she headed for the door. The house was quiet, the entire crew out at the ship, her folks having gone into town for some supplies. With barely any self-awareness, Kaylee padded down the hall and down the stairs, pushing open the screen door that led to the porch. She stood under the eave for a moment, watching as the rain dripped in big drops off the edge into a puddle at the base of the steps.

Then slowly, methodically, she walked down the steps and into the rain, feeling it hit her skin, soaking her hair and nightclothes almost instantly. The drops were falling so fast and hard they stung her skin as they hit, but Kaylee didn’t care. Turning her face up to the dark and foreboding sky, she heard another clap of thunder and then opened her arms wide, inviting the storm to swallow her whole. For a moment she pretended she was caught in one gigantic and violent wave, surrounded by a torrential ocean, and then the moment was gone and she was just soaked to the skin.

She lost track of time, not surprisingly and she lost her ability to stand under the downpour. Sinking to the ground, Kaylee felt the mud seep into her clothes, felt her fingers close around the squishy substance; maybe if she buried herself in it, she wouldn’t feel anymore, she wouldn’t feel pain or anger or sadness or fear; she wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night terrified. Doing her best to cover herself in the substance, Kaylee sank further into the mud and let the rain wash her away.

***

River had found Simon in the infirmary, stocking supplies just as a violent rumble of thunder sounded. Taking his hand, she pulled him from the room even as he protested demanding to know what was going on. As she brought him into the cargo bay, River turned him to face her, and placed both of her small hands on his shoulders. “I was wrong before, Simon,” she told him, her voice pained. “Thinking is what you do best. Think, don’t act.”

She then turned him toward the open ramp where the rain falling steadily outside made visibility almost nil, and pointed. “Needs you now and always,” she said, and giving him a slight push, waited until he had jogged out into the rain, before turning and running up the stairs to get Inara.

***

Simon wasn’t exactly sure what he was running towards, but his sister’s order had spurred him on regardless. She had pointed him towards the house, towards where he knew Kaylee to be and he needed no other explanation. As he hit the bottom of the ramp and felt the cold rain water fall on him, he finally made out a small form curled onto the ground in front of the house. His heart catching in his throat, Simon sped up, sprinting the last few feet, before he slid to Kaylee’s side, covering himself in mud.

She was shaking violently, her hair, skin, clothes doused in mud. She was mumbling something too, her eyes wide, and Simon felt his heart break at the sight of her. Without a word, he pulled her to him, amazed at how light she was when he lifted her in his arms. As he made his way into the house, he heard a few footsteps on the wooden porch and turned to see Inara approaching, her eyes wide with concern, an umbrella over her head to try and keep her dry.

As she took in the sight of Kaylee’s shivering form, she rested a hand to her mei mei’s face and asked breathlessly, “What happened?”

Frowning at her, Simon wondered if he really needed to answer the question. Not bothering, he turned and walked up the stairs back to their room and Inara followed. Once they were inside, Inara brought him a towel, which Simon wrapped around Kaylee to keep the mud from the bed as he undressed her to give her a bath. Touching her cheek lightly, Simon met her eyes for a moment, noting how empty they were and he found himself shaking slightly.

Inara watched them for a moment, and then moved to his side. Placing a light hand to his shoulder, she waited until Simon’s distraught gaze had rested on her as she said, “Why don’t you let me take care of her, Simon? You go take a shower and change, and I’ll give Kaylee a nice hot bath and clean her up.”

Simon did not want to leave her, not for all the money in the ‘verse, but he didn’t know if he could stay with her right now either. He was quickly losing it, his concern for Kaylee which had been rising over the past months threatening to overwhelm him completely. Nodding reluctantly, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, before rising and looking to Inara. “Do you want me to help you get her to the bath?”

Shaking her head, Inara smiled at him and said, “No, we’ll be fine. You go and take care of yourself.”

Simon smiled to her although the expression was hollow. He stiffly moved to the closet, pulling out some clean clothes, and then knelt in front of Kaylee who still had not moved. “I’ll be back in just a bit, bao bei,” he told her gently. Not getting a response, he straightened and left quickly.

Allowing the water to run until it could almost scald his skin, Simon felt the steam rise in the spare bathroom. Dropping his muddied clothes in a heap on the floor, he stepped into the burning stream of water and bowed his head, letting it beat against his skin. Resting his hands against the wall in front of him, Simon leaned heavily against the tile for support, feeling his legs threatening to give out.

Taking a few deep breaths, he tipped his head back and into the spray, feeling the hot drops wash down his body, pooling the mud and grime and tension in little rivulets at his feet. Despite his promise to Kaylee to return quickly and the heat of the water against his skin, Simon found himself trapped under the powerful pounding for quite some time.

***

“There now, that’s better isn’t it?” Inara continued to run a brush through Kaylee’s damp hair, sitting with the girl on the bed. She had spoken to her while she’d cared for, trying to get the younger woman to talk, but Kaylee had simply stared, her eyes always focused past Inara, her face expressionless.

Moving out from around the girl and propping her up on pillows, Inara sat at her side and asked quietly, “Are you hungry, mei mei? I can get you some breakfast.” Nothing. With a sigh, Inara took Kaylee’s hand in hers and said, “You shouldn’t have gone out in that rain, Kaylee. You could have caught a cold.”

Still nothing. It was breaking Inara’s heart, Kaylee’s silence, her forced isolation. It was breaking all their hearts actually and Inara didn’t know what to do. She felt a strong urge to slap the girl, to tell her to wake up and realize that she was alive, that she was loved by a wonderful man, that she had her life. But Inara knew that Kaylee had never and would never respond to that type of “tough love.”

And secretly, Inara didn’t blame her for her reaction to what was undeniably a horrendous situation. More than once in the past few months, Inara herself had felt like retreating into herself, crawling in so deep that no one could reach her. The fear she still felt at the thought of Mal, lying broken and bloodied in that hospital bed choked her at least once a day, and it was only her desire to be strong for both him and Kaylee that had allowed her to hold it together.

With another small sigh, she decided to try and reach Kaylee again. “You scared Simon, mei mei,” she told her quietly, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. “That poor man, I’ve never seen him so upset.”

“He’s gonna die.”

Her voice was broken and harsh, but understandable and Inara’s eyes snapped instantly to Kaylee’s face. “What?”

Looking to her friend with hollow, lifeless eyes, Kaylee repeated tonelessly, “He’s gonna die, if he goes after Niska. They’re all gonna die.”

Her eyes tearing despite herself, Inara moved closer to her friend and squeezed her hands urgently. “No, mei mei, don’t say that. That’s not true.”

“Yes it is,” she said, her voice firmer than before. “They ain’t comin’ back from that. How many times does the cap’n think he can cheat fate? Niska ain’t gonna let him go a third time. He just ain’t.” Her eyes dropped back to the bedspread and she shivered slightly as she said, “He ain’t comin’ back. He’s gonna leave me.”

Before Inara could even think of a thing to say, the door pushed open again and Simon entered. He looked cleaner than he had an hour before, but no less weary and Inara smiled to him slightly. As Simon’s eyes darted between the two women, he sighed a bit, and then moved to sit at Kaylee’s side. Intercepting him, Inara motioned back to the hallway and told Kaylee, “We’ll be right outside, mei mei.”

The girl did not respond and so Inara simply pushed Simon out the door, meeting Mal and River in the hallway as they came bounding in from the rain. Meeting his troubled gaze with concern of her own, Inara asked, “What is it?”

Glancing to River, Mal explained, “Lil’ one said Kaylee was in a spot o’ trouble. I wanted to be sure she was all right.” Looking to the closed door and back to Inara, he asked, “Is she?”

Taking a deep breath, Inara leaned against the wall heavily and said, “No, she’s not.” Looking to Simon, she took his hand and squeezed gently, “She’s convinced that once you leave tomorrow, you won’t be coming back.” Her eyes drifting to River and then finally settling on Mal, she added, “Any of you.”

Wordlessly, Mal allowed his own gaze to turn to River. The reader was already studying him, her eyes big and wide, searching. Shaking her head slightly, she murmured, “Sorry, captain daddy, too many variables. I don’t know.”

Mal sighed, not realizing until this very moment how much he’d come to rely on River’s little glimpses into the future. Of course, he had operated in the dark for plenty of years before she’d come along, but now, whenever he went in without her input, he felt truly blind. “Well, that ain’t gonna happen,” Mal said stubbornly, looking back to Inara’s pained face. “Did you tell her that?”

“No Mal,” Inara bit out, letting some of her frustration come out as sarcasm. “I agreed with her and started planning your funeral.”

Frowning at her, Mal swallowed back his own retort, knowing that Inara was only speaking from her own fear. Studying Simon’s face, Mal noted the harsh look that had descended upon his features. “What d’ya think, doc?”

While Simon’s face was a mask of anger, his emotions rolled through him in waves, pushing and pulling his mind and heart in a million different directions. Part of him only wanted to stay with Kaylee, to reassure her that everything would be all right, while part of him wanted to jump on Serenity and kill Niska as violently as possible. While another part of him wanted to crawl into a corner until this was all over.

Looking to Mal with a cold stare, he said, “I think we should go. Now.”

His eyes widening slightly in surprise, Mal met the man’s gaze and then looked to River. “Albatross, go get her prepped and tell Zoe and Jayne to get us clear for up thrust.”

River’s eyes darted between her captain and her brother. Biting her lip, she hesitated for a moment wanting desperately to say something to stop them, but she couldn’t. She didn’t know what would happen, what would become of them, and she couldn’t lie, no matter what her intentions.

Nodding once, she moved away, sprinting back to the ship.

Mal turned back to Simon and said, “We’ll leave soon as you’re aboard.” Clapping a hand to the man’s shoulder, he told him, “Take whatever time you need.”

Simon nodded once and then took a deep breath before reentering the room, leaving Mal and Inara alone.

Averting her gaze, Inara felt her heart beat sharply against her rib cage and she inhaled a shaky breath. Moving towards her, Mal placed a hand to her cheek and said softly, “You know I ain’t gonna die.” As she lifted her eyes to his, she saw that he was smiling slightly as he added, “You know I’m way too stubborn for that.”

With a strangled sob, Inara wrapped her arms around him and pulled him tight. “Please, Mal, please be careful,” she told him. “Please come back to me.”

Mal buried his face in her sweet-smelling hair and then kissed her, long and deep. When they parted, he saw the tears that were running down her perfect cheeks and brushed them away lightly. “You take care of our mei mei while I’m gone, dong ma?”

She nodded wordlessly. Glancing again to the closed door, she said, “Bring Simon back to her, please. She won’t survive it if he doesn’t come back.”

Mal nodded and then pulled her to him again, giving her another kiss that was more passionate than the one from only moments before. “We’ll be back, darlin’,” he told her softly, backing away from her slowly, before turning to head to his ship.

065. Vast

The divide between them was wide, a chasm really. They stood on opposite sides, straining to still see each other, fighting to maintain their convictions even as they felt the loss of the other.

Simon sat and stared at her knowing he needed to go, knowing that the longer he waited the more likely it became he wouldn’t go at all. And as much as he wanted to stay with her, he wanted Niska dead more. And he wanted to kill him.

Resting a hand to her face, he tried again to say goodbye. “I’m not sure how long we’ll be gone, Kaylee. Probably a couple of weeks.” She did not respond and so he just continued. “I won’t be able to wave, we’ll need to operate under comm silence.”

Even as he edged closer to her, he felt the distance increasing between them and it was breaking his heart. Cupping her face in his hands, he searched her eyes for some recognition, for some sign of acceptance as he whispered, “Please, Kaylee. Please try to understand why I have to do this.” Swallowing hard, he said, “I have to be the one to keep you safe.”

“Then stay with me,” she finally said, her voice broken. Her eyes finally focused on his and he saw the desperation lighting them, so intent it took his breath away. “Don’t go, Simon, please. I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t, Kaylee,” he promised, knowing he had no right to say such a thing, but unable to keep the words from pouring forth. “I will come back to you, I promise.”

“Don’t,” she told him harshly, pulling back from him and resting against her pillows. Dropping her gaze from his again, she said coldly, “I don’t want the last words you speak to me to be a lie.”

Hurt by her harshness, but not surprised by it, Simon nodded once and then leaned forward, kissing her gently. “I love you,” he breathed and then abruptly left, knowing that if he didn’t go at that moment he wouldn’t.

Kaylee touched her hand to her mouth, closing her eyes and trying to burn the memory of his lips against hers into her brain. “Love you,” she murmured, before sinking back and allowing the pain of his absence to consume her.

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Chapter 11