Her lips were softer than a summer breeze on Shadow. She moaned and leaned into him, completely unadulterated. He pulled her closer and nipped at her lips. Mal could taste honey on her lips from tea or protein. Her breasts were pressed into his chest causing him to feel overdressed. He pulled her down into his lap, sitting on the weight bench. She didn’t fight, but pulled him closer and running her fingers through his hair. Mal moaned, sounding more like a growl. He’d waited long and was hard enough to explode right then and there. She was eager and warm in his arms, he knew that here was a perfectly allowable place, it was his damn ship. Her hands tangled in his hair greedily and her tongue worked its way into his mouth. Mal growled and pulled out of her embrace, opening his eyes to remove –

“Tamade hundan! Jing-tsai xiongcan sha shou! Run-tse duh fwe-tzoo!” Mal screamed as he awoke. “Ai ya! What fei hua!” He had been opening his eyes to undo coveralls, Kaylee’s coveralls. The hair he had caressed in his dream had been chestnut soft waves, not chocolate curls. He shook his head and immediately ran cold water from the sink above his personal commode over his head. He leaned over the sink, assuring that any thoughts that were there moments ago had numbed out of it with freezing water. Parts of his body hurt that shouldn’t, and his thoughts were beyond despicable.

Slowly, Mal set forth towards the general shower. It was still early, few were sure to be awake at this time, and he needed the privacy. There weren’t many times that he couldn’t take care of his needs in the privacy of his own bunk, but this night brought up new issues, and he couldn’t rub one out thinking of the woman that he was supposed to be protecting. He’d promised her father that he would stop men like himself from taking advantage of the girl, but he had known full well even then that she was a full-blown woman.

The shower door was open, unoccupied, and Mal exhaled, relieved. He needed more cold water than the tiny sink in his bunk could offer. He felt warm all over. That feeling of warmth was not the kind that made one happy to be alive. Mal near growled at himself over the dream, one of those unsettling things that he could do without. As he stepped into the shower stall he near screamed at the water hitting his skin like daggers of ice. He hadn’t needed to this since he was fifteen and thinking about he neighbor girl in ways that made him blush in private. * Kaylee had never been the shy type; she wasn’t a harpy or anything like that, just friendly. Still, she felt a twinge around the captain since he saw her naked. The thought of the incident made her queasy, which wasn’t her way at all; she should be laughing about it. She studied her mashed protein with intensity as to not look up at the captain across the table. Simon could do a lot of things, but cooking wasn’t one of them, then again, there were a lot of things that she’d recently noticed he’s been lacking in. Kaylee sloshed around her breakfast again, giving it one last chance, and got up from the table, setting it in front of Jayne.

“She all right, bao-bai?” Jayne looked at River, slurping down the near tasteless mush.

“Maybe,” River shrugged looking at her mush. “Better than those who are eating this, go se. It will find its way out to the black soon enough.” River smiled at Jayne, who was used to her speak, and Simon’s cooking.

“Never hurt me none,” Jayne placed a kiss on River’s forehead softly and continued slurping his protein down.

“You trying to say the doc is trying to scrounge up business, River?” Mal’s face managed a signature sloppy half-grin. “Cuz we got a job, good one from the sounds of it. Just a grab and transport, all legal like.” The legality clearly denoted for Inara’s benefit only, but she seemed not to notice Mal had been speaking.

“No, Cap’n Daddy, Simon just needs more kick,” River suggested with a whimsical smile.

“Wash got us on our way, then, Mal?” Jayne asked, looking up from his careful slurp.

“Yeah, should be there soon enough. Whitefall, this time won’t be dealing with the witch though,” Mal clarified. “Thought we could use a rest from me getting riddled with holes and all.”

“Never gets old, sir,” Zoe deadpans, no expression.

“Fanti and Mingo understand that a dead me means no trade,” Mal frowns at Zoe.

“Nah, Fanti and Mingo know that you’re just a little less than jovial when you see them all bandaged is all,” Zoe offered simply. “You know, Patience, though, sir. She won’t be happy someone is doing business on her moon without her. That’s probably why we go the job in the first place.”

“They wouldn’t put me in danger for the laughs,” Mal feigns insult.

“Whatever you say, sir,” Zoe stood from the table, leaving most of her breakfast behind. *

“Why do you think the Captain let us take up this job? For the laughs?” Jayne rolled his eyes and snorted at Kaylee. “We need the money. It’s a do or die typa situation.”

“It’s not safe,” Kaylee pouted softly and glared at Jayne vehemently. “The captain wouldn’t just put himself in danger so that we could all have some giggles. We have fuel, and Serenity’s doing fine. Only thing I worry about is that gorram coil, and it’ll last a coupla more months no problem.”

“Fresh food costs, Kaylee-girl. We all want to eat,” Jayne shrugged. “Mal won’t listen to anything we got to say ‘bout it. Pleases me a little just to be crossing Patience, anyhow.”

Kaylee just stared at Jayne for a moment. “He’s getting himself shot for a bag of coin that won’t feed us more’n a month.”

“Who’s that, Kaylee? I don’t have any such plans as to being a target for any hudan down there,” Mal stated walking in behind his mechanic. “It’s a simple little job, and Fanti and Mingo have no reasons to be placing this crew in any danger.”

“Heard that about a simple plan some time before,” Jayne grinned, shaking his head. “I’ll be back with some grenades.”

Kaylee looked up at Mal expectedly. “You know we’ll be fine without this, Cap’n. Serenity is all tip top, and everything. We’re doing fine out here right now.”

“That doesn’t seem to last long out here, ‘specially lately,” Mal frowned deeply, as if in thought. “Just be sure Serenity is ready for a hasty departure if needed. I have a powerful need for getting paid, and if we all explode or get caught up by Patience it’s not something that’ll be happening.” *

“He’ll be all right,” River soothed into Kaylee’s ear as she pranced about the cargo bay. “It will be a simple grab and transport, just as he said. Jayne just makes it out more dangerous, more our fault when he gets all beat up, shot, and the like. Doesn’t like this all being his choice and it is. We all made this choice.”

Kaylee didn’t respond to River as she waited for the mule to return with the crew on it, in various stages of repair. She just hoped they all made it back all right. She didn’t even notice that River said that one male would be all right, not that the three would be all right. *

“Did you think you could be more specific next time on the not involvin’ Patience?!” Jayne yelled, throwing a grenade at the three horsemen following the mule. “I mean, is it such a hard concept?!”

“Wash, honey, we’re coming to you, got some color following us,” Zoe gritted her teeth as she spoke into her comm. “Don’t think it’s Patience we’re being followed by, Jayne, her people haven’t got this kinda skill. Shootin’ and ridin’ ain’t that easy, and they’re all pretending it is.”

“Always glad to hear from you, bao-bai. Wish you’d call when you didn’t need money or have laundry,” Wash’s voice was tight despite his knowledge that Zoe was still all right. “I’m on my way, baby.”

Kaylee began a dead fall to the deck as Serenity came close to full burn toward Zoe’s voice. She quivered a little and took it all in slowly as she picked herself up and ran toward the engine room. Wash’s girl needed him and Serenity needed Kaylee, it was that simple in her mind at the time. She saw River standing in the engine room, humming softly.

“She’s doing all right, but she misses you,” River smiled, spinning in a circle. A scream escaped her lips as she followed Kaylee’s lead and fell to the floor. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Jayne –“

“Simon!” Kaylee called, her own voice shocking her. She picked up the intercom and spoke as calmly as possible, knowing Simon hated it when she became as emotional as she felt. “Simon, we have incoming wounded.”

“Jayne,” River whispered gently. “He was shot, in the back.” Her eyes were big, nearly blue for a second. She gasped and looked at the ceiling, as if she had taken his pain in herself. “He needs to ride, needs to make it to home.”

“He will, River honey, he’s strong like that. He gets shot all the time, more so than the captain even,” Kaylee knew her attempt to smile had failed, but had to keep moving and talking as she rigged the wires up for the sudden stop she knew would be coming soon. “It’ll be all right, River, he will be all right.”

River stares at Kaylee, eyes back to brown. “I hope so, Kaylee, but I just can’t see it.” Tears stain River’s face as she runs to the infirmary, the seer blinded by love.

“Wash, give me the signal, are you stopping or what?” Kaylee demanded, suddenly feeling a rush of her own emotions. Her baby needed to make it out of this too, even if her baby wasn’t alive.

“I see them, we’re slowing, hold on to something,” Wash instructed, sweat on his forehead nearly visible through the intercom system. My wife, my lover, my baby.

“She’s ready for you now,” Kaylee conveyed plainly, calming until she heard another scream from the direction of the infirmary, this time Simon. She slammed into a pipe and realized that he had probably near the same experience. Too soft, that Simon, after all these years still too soft.

“All hands to the cargo bay for injured,” Wash commanded firmly. “And send my wife up to me, unscathed and breathing with our little one in her.” The last part sounded nearly as a prayer, but no one paid much attention as they scrambled.

*

Zoe and Mal were pulling Jayne off his horse in the cargo bay and lowering him to a makeshift gurney. He was pale and his face screwed up in pain. Kaylee just watched as Simon walked past her, stiffly and swiftly. He swooped in and began treatment as if it were common place to have a horse as an audience. Mal and Zoe lifted the gurney with Simon still working on Jayne, and made way to the infirmary. River just watching from the catwalk, sobbed inconsolably.

“Gorram, bullets!” Jayne finally screamed as Simon dug the last fragment out from his back, blood pooling on the normally cleaned perfect flooring. Blue light lit a ghostly tone on the brawny man. “Think you could give me warning, doc, before your pulling out of my spine!?”

“Your spine, very luckily, is still attached and in perfect working order,” Simon quipped, relief showing on a face Jayne could not see. “I’ll give you something for the pain when I am done removing everything you keep deciding belongs inside of your body.”

River loomed over Simon’s shoulder, momentarily forgetting she was the shorter of the two, as she saw everything Simon was doing. She mimicked his stances, staring through his cool and collected eyes, and not her own irrational emotional ones. She’d stopped sniffling at the first curse out of Jayne’s mouth, her lover all right for the time being. *

“Hey there, lil’,” Mal stopped himself short. “Kaylee.”

“Hi, Cap’n,” Kaylee barely looking up as she spoke. “Glad you didn’t get shot none, and Zoe’s all right with the baby.”

“Yeah, me too, how’s Jayne doing?” Mal forced himself forward, speaking.

“Screaming like a baby,” Kaylee reported plainly. “River’s in there too, chiding Jayne for being a baby and Simon for being a boob.”

“Good, they need some looking after,” Mal smiled. “Are you doing all right? You’ve been real quiet like since we got ourselves off Whitefall.”

“Yeah, shiny,” Kaylee forced a poor excuse for a smile on her face, shaking her head with the knowledge of how small it really was. “Just had nothing to say is all.”

“Simon’s busy and Inara’s all alone, I am sure she’d be happy to hear from you a little. Seems you haven’t been talking to her much at all,” Mal nodded, sensing his mechanic’s loneliness echoing his own.

“Don’t got much to talk to her about, Cap’n,” Kaylee was curt, especially for Kaylee. She looked down at the catwalk she sat firmly on.

“No, don’t reckon you do, but maybe she’s got something to be telling you,” Mal sat next to Kaylee for the first time since nearly seeing her naked.

“Like what?” Kaylee turned her eyes up to Mal’s blue ones. “Don’t expect she’ll be willing to apologize for being prettier ‘n me. She used to men all falling over themselves for so much as a glance at her. Men see me and hope I’m as easy as they’re imaginin’ is all, and that’s not pretty.”

“You think that’s what it’s all about, Kaylee? You think Simon’s with Inara because of her being all companion pretty, with her face paints and pretty clothing?” Mal felt courage coming back to himself slowly. “That’s not it at all, Kaylee, you’re plenty pretty.”

“Not pretty ‘nuff.” The words fell out her mouth in pure violation of her own code. Kaylee had promised herself not to doubt herself after meeting Nandi, but it all fell apart when Simon was involved, again.

“Simon and Inara are cut from the same cloth, Kaylee, they found something they needed in each other,” Mal managed, hating to see the girl this upset over the pansy doctor, or anyone. “Nara owes you an apology for her straight hooking up with Simon after you two splitting. Ain’t right for a friend to disregard another’s pain like that, no matter how civilized either friend’s supposed to be.”

“Ain’t her fault,” Kaylee outright sniffled. “Don’t really wanna talk ‘bout this with you, Cap’n.”

“Don’t rightly want to be talkin’ about this at all, Kaylee girl, but got no choice,” Mal responded, arm very nearly touching hers.

“Can’t talk to her, Captain,” Kaylee shook her head in clear defiance. “There’s nothing that you can say to change that.”

“No?” Mal had to smile for a second.

“She’s not really the reason I’m out here anyhow,” Kaylee admitted. “Not really mad at her, I mean, she didn’t do nothin’ to me, really. Simon’s a boob, got a real reader sayin’ it and everything.”

“Makes sense, you putting it that way,” Mal nodded, confused. Gorram women, every one of them going to drive me mad. “So, what’s got you out here sitting all on your own, then, Kaylee girl?”

“Just thinking,” Kaylee sighed, fighting the urge to relax against him. She pulled a smile from thin air. “What’s got you out here?”

“You do,” Mal heard the words before feeling them on his tongue. He fought and won against looking awkward at his admission.

“That’s my Captain, worrying ‘bout everyone but himself,” Kaylee grinned softly. Worries about us all, and doesn’t even notice we worry back. Wonder what he would do if he knew how much we all cared ‘bout him same as he did about us. “I’ve got it all together, Cap’n.”

“Makes one of us,” Mal smiled, this one genuine, seeing the magic that was Kaylee’s air to smile trick.

“If you could stop gettin’ all shot at for a bit, bet you’d be pretty well off,” Kaylee frowned again. “You might think you’re all alone out there on a job, just protectin’ the crew you got with you, but there’s a ship here, and she waits for you every time. It’s like having a pet; you gotta remember you have someone back here, hoping you come back in one piece.”

“Yeah, gotta get ‘em some feed,” Mal laughed and felt a not-so-gentle poke to the ribs.

“Don’t you be talking like that. Love keeps her in the air, and don’t you go thinking you’re not part of that equation. I love my girl, but she’s hopin’ you come back good as the last if not better each time you go out.” With that Kaylee hopped up from sitting. “Maybe I will talk to Inara after all, someone has to get all of your proper heads out of your proper asses, and River seems a bit busy all of a sudden.”