River’s grown to love the black, even though she can’t see the stars most times. She could, up on the bridge, but the captain ain’t up for having the crazy anywhere near the controls. It don’t matter much to River, cause she can hear the stars sing to her most days. It makes her feel free, and makes the pushing and fighting in her head quiet down.

Planetside, it’s different. Most times she can feel the sky pushing down on her, but some places are better than others. One day, they land on some planet, way out on the edges somewhere, far away from all the blue gloves from the Academy. She’s feeling good, for a change, like the sky is lifting her up.

Mal is taking Zoe and Jayne somewhere on the shuttle, being close mouthed around her even though she doesn’t really care. Kaylee talks about some place nearby, a big lake you can swim in all day. She’s talking across River, eyes flashing at Simon; no doubt she’s hoping Simon’ll take her up on it and she can see him all stripped down. River just wants to go out, off the ship, out where the sky can talk to her in a deep blue hum.

“Simon,” she says, a bit of a whine, can’t help it ‘cause she wants this so bad. “Can’t we go? The sky wants to talk.”

Simon looks startled, stutters. “Sure, River, we’ll go. You want to swim?”

River nods emphatically, wanting to move, wanting to go. Go, go, go, ‘cause she feels like those cows, who just became things on the ship, couldn’t even feel the star talk. She doesn’t want to lose her self even more than she already has.

So, they go out, Wash leading, carrying some towels, wisecracking and missing Zoë; Kaylee twirls her parasol and bats her eyes at Simon, who looks uncomfortable in the sun and the dirt. Book stayed behind with his precious Word, which makes her prickly and tight in its wrongness and her inability to fix it.

Better to be out here in the light and the bright, bright blue.

River smells the water, sweet and clean after the recycled tang of the ship. The valley opens up before her, a perfect mirror.

Deep in her damaged brain, the symmetry resonates and makes her want to cry.

“Simon!” she calls, ecstatic.

He turns, concerned. “What is it?”

“It’s beautiful, Simon! Can’t you see it?” She laughs with pure glee, and Simon grins while Kaylee giggles.

“It’s a beaut, ain’t it?” Kaylee says. “That’s why I always make the captain land here. Feels good to get off the ship sometimes and just splash around.”

Wash turns around, shading his eyes. “What are you three doing? Last one in is a huai dan xui!”

River smiled and splashed into the shallows with the other. She didn’t bother to change, just waded right in with all her clothes on, past Wash, who insisted that he was getting a tan, past Kaylee, who was playfully flicking water at Simon, out into the middle of the lake.

River floats, caught in the middle of the mirror of water and sky.