WASH: CONNECTING FLIGHT by AintWeJust

Synopsis: Just out of flight school, Hoban Washburne learns how to "do the impossible." After saving Serenity and losing his life, Wash is offered the chance to go back and keep his old crew alive -- but of course, there's always a catch . . .

Chapter One -- Changing Planes

It was the night before graduation. He should be back at The Hanger, guzzling rice wine and celebrating his hard-won employability with the rest of the students. After all, there were a few high-ticket offers sitting in his message queue, waiting for him to decide where he wanted to work and how much he was going to make. The future was finally here, and if opportunity was knocking, Hoban Washburne wanted to make sure he greeted it at the front door with beer, snacks, and a hearty welcome.

But Skinny said he needed to come here, tonight. To this small green door in the heart of the market district, with all the stalls and stores closed up tight, force fields sparking as he walked past, his footsteps echoing down the empty streets.

"Think of it as a final lesson, Washburne," Skinny had said, taking him aside after his last class. "You've got what it takes to be a great pilot. But this guy . . . well, this guy could make you the best there is. If you're willing to take a chance."

Normally, Wash wouldn't be caught dead in this part of the city at night. 'Well,' he mused, 'maybe I'd be caught and then wind up dead.' He grinned in spite of himself. 'Coming here definitely wasn't the smartest thing Mrs. Washburne's little boy has every done. But nobody ever said I was smart – devastatingly handsome, maybe, but certainly not smart.'

He caught a glimpse of his reflection in a shop window, and one finger crept up to touch the bushy mustache that hung under his nose like a blond boot brush. Half the time he just wanted to shave the thing off. He almost felt like he was hiding behind it.

'The other half of the time, I can't bear to . . . just cut it down in its prime,' Wash thought with a grin. 'At first, I wasn't sure about having a moustache, but then it just . . . grew on me . . . ' He snorted, and turned away from the window to face his destination. Squaring his shoulders, he marched towards the door, half-smile still playing across his lips.

As he reached the door, it swung open before he could knock. After a brief pause, Wash sauntered into the black entryway like he didn't have a care in the world.

The door closed silently behind him.

After a few seconds staring into a darkness as black as space itself, a single spotlight popped on to reveal an ancient Chinese gentleman in brightly colored robes. He was sitting in the center of a highly polished hardwood floor that seemed to extend out beyond where the circle of light could reach.

"Hoban Washburne." The man spoke definitively, no question at all in his voice.

"Ah, I see my reputation has preceded me," Wash replied lightly, keeping a crooked smile on his face. "Who would have thought fame would find me so early in my career?"

"Actually, the name is written on your flight jacket." It was the man's turn to smile.

There was a long, slightly embarrassed silence. "Yes, well . . . you have me at a disadvantage," Wash said.

"Yes, I do." The man smiled again. "You may call me Chiang."

Another silence. Wash took a deep breath and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well, I could call you Gladys, as far as that goes, but that's probably not your name either."

Chiang nodded, still smiling. "Chiang will do. Or Gladys, if you prefer. My name is unimportant. It is what I have to teach you that matters."

Wash nodded. "Skinny said you could make me a better pilot."

"Skinny?" The man's brow wrinkled briefly, then he smiled again. "Flight Instructor Erskin. Ah, yes. I presume you gave him the nickname?"

Wash looked down, almost sheepishly. He nodded.

"Flight Instructor Erskin weighs over three hundred pounds. Obviously, your nickname is not accurate."

"No, but it is funny as hell," Wash pointed out cheerfully. "Especially when the whole class started using it."

"Were you not afraid of angering your instructor?"

The flight school graduate grinned. "He's a pilot, too. That means he's got an ego the size of a gas giant and then some, or he'd never get behind the stick in the first place. He laughed as much as the rest."

Another silence. Chiang regarded Wash with a critical eye. "You do not, I see."

The pilot felt a wave of confusion run through him, not for the first time since he walked through the door. "Do not . . . what?"

"You do not have 'an ego the size of a gas giant,'" Chiang smiled. "You use humor to hide the fact that you do not possess a pilot's . . . overwhelming confidence . . . in all things."

Wash thought a minute, and shrugged. "Ba Jiu Bu Li Shi. I can fly anything that's meant to fly, and I can play at being ship's mechanic if you can't find anyone better. That's what I've got. You want gourmet cooking, impressionist art, or juggling geese, you need to keep looking."

Chiang nodded. "That is why . . . Skinny . . . sent you to me. There are few pilots who could learn what I have to teach. He apparently thinks you are one of them." Chiang considered, and nodded again. "And I agree."

Again, there was silence. Wash waited. Finally, Chiang spoke. "Have you ever considered the impossibility of flight?"

Wash looked at him, confused. "Since I'm a pilot, I tend to assume that when I get into a ship, it's going to go up, and hopefully stay there until I decide to bring it back down again. It's not really a good idea for me to think something can't fly."

"That is, of course, understandable," Chiang said in a conversational tone. "But consider this . . . when you look at a spacecraft, or any heavier-than-air vessel, what makes it fly . . . is faith."

"Faith?" Wash's mind spun, and he began to smile. "I've thrown my share of prayers into the black from time to time to keep a bird in the air, but there's a whole lot of science behind getting a ship off the ground and making it stay there."

"And you have faith in that science, correct?"

"Well . . . yes. Of course I do, or I wouldn't climb into the cockpit in the first place."

"And without you, would that ship fly?"

"I'm not the only pilot in space."

Chiang sighed. "Without someone sitting in that chair, holding onto that stick and believing that the ship can fly . . . would it ever get off the ground?"

"Will you hurt me if I mention the autopilot?"

"The autopilot has to be activated, again by someone who believes." He waved two fingers in a gesture that could have meant anything, but Wash instantly knew he was mildly irritated. "Let us stipulate that the ship must be fueled, its engines serviced. Now, please answer my question."

Wash sighed. "Yes. Someone has to believe the ship can fly, or it won't."

The old man nodded, a smile on his face. "Now, that belief is supported by the science of flight, because civilization as we know it has depended on science to explain how the Universe works for over a thousand years. But the belief itself can be strong enough to stand without the science."

Wash felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. "Excuse me, but beliefs should be backed up by facts. Otherwise they're just opinions, and bad ones at that."

"We have already established one fact -- it takes faith to make a ship fly."

"Yes but it also takes a ship!" Chiang looked at him, and Wash felt a sudden need to make the man see reason. "Look, Gladys, Dui Niu Tan Qin, okay? I may be easy-going, but I know how the Verse works. What's real is real, and what isn't, isn't, right? And wind and gravity are real. A man can't fly just by thinking he can, anymore than he can breathe vacuum!" He paused for a second, and a smile touched the corner of his mouth. "Although there have been a few people in my past I'd have liked to see try."

Chiang favored him with a brief smile, but his eyes soon turned serious again.

"Consider the leaf on the wind," he said softly. "It does not think, or feel, or believe. It simply is. It dips, it soars . . . it flies, but only as the winds and gravity command. But if the leaf could think, could feel . . . could believe . . . it could also choose not to do what nature demanded. It could soar when the wind said to dip, or drift when there is no wind at all." His eyes found Wash's and held them, and the pilot could've sworn they flashed with a green fire that came from within. "Mister Washburne, the belief of a determined individual can be stronger than all that is, if only his will is strong enough."

Wash looked at the man for a moment, then shook his head and sighed.

"As entertaining as this conversation is," he said, "I'm afraid I can't agree with you. You're telling me I can do the impossible. I mean, if I had some proof . . . even a little . . . you would have my full and undivided attention. But as much as I love the idea of it, I find it hard to believe I can keep anything in the air just because I want it to fly. In a wrestling match with the Verse, I'm way out of my weight class." Wash gave Chiang a lopsided smile. "Or as my daddy used to say, 'wishing don't make it so.'"

Chiang sighed, closed his eyes, and rose effortlessly to hover several feet above Wash's head. His robes rustled as they drifted downwards, still listening to gravity with the obstinate lack of self-determination that only comes from the most inanimate of objects.

A chill ran through Wash's entire body as the old man floated over him with a serene smile.

"Of course, my daddy was wrong about so many things," the pilot said, his tone almost conversational. "At one point, he actually wanted me to be a ballerina."

Chiang's eyes narrowed. "You mean a ballet dancer?"

Wash shook his head. "Nope, a ballerina. Toe shoes, tights, tutu, sweaty guys throwing me in the air." He shrugged. "What can I say? Dad was always a bit . . . quirky."

"You are a strange man, Mister Washburne."

"Says the guy floating three feet over my head," Wash replied with a grin. "In any case, you have my attention, Gladys. Can you teach me to do that?"

Chiang bowed his head as he drifted back to the hardwood floor. "Sadly, that is not possible. Not in the time we have. It would require many years of dedication and study. But your mind is open to the possibility. I can plant the seeds, and over the years, they may grow. And one day you may find a way to bring the knowledge to the surface . . . when you need it most."

He beckoned Wash to come closer, and pointed to a spot on the floor nearby.

"Come," he said, a smile playing across his lips. "Consider this your . . . graduation present."

Wash dropped into a seated position and smiled back. "Oh, heck, and here I was hoping for a watch. Maybe a really nice fountain pen." Chiang threw him a dark look, and Wash held up his hands. "No, no! Floating is good, too! Really!"

Chiang sighed. "Then let us begin."

When it had finally sunk in that the battle was over, Serenity's crew realized that, for the first time in a long time, they could relax, just a little. So before they started the thankless task of putting their damaged ship -- and their home -- back together again, everyone gathered in the galley. Although the burials had been done and the funeral rockets fired, they all still needed to say goodbye to absent friends.

Surprisingly, the last of the Haven homebrew had made it through the battle intact, and everyone sat and drank and told stories about Book and Wash. Zoe was mostly silent, although she smiled every time someone mentioned her husband, and took another sip of her drink. The impromptu wake went on for hours, but eventually, one by one, the rest of the crew drifted off to bed, leaving only Mal and Zoe.

The silence was almost a comfortable one, but Mal fidgeted a bit, needing to say something but not quite knowing how. Zoe spoke first.

"It's all right, Captain," she said, her voice level and nearly emotionless. "We had to do it. Not just to save River, but to show everyone out there what the Alliance really was." Even though it was unspoken, Mal still heard what Zoe wanted him to hear. 'It's okay, Sir. I don't blame you for Wash's death.'

Mal looked down at the table and spoke into his glass. "For all the times he and I had words, and there was more than a few, you know how I felt about Wash. He was crew. He was family. For all the things he did to try and hide it, he was strong and he was smart. And he could fly like nobody else in the 'Verse. That's . . . that's somethin'." He took a big swallow, and reached over for the bottle for a refill. "I know . . . I know you loved him. And as much as it made my life a hell of a lot more interesting, I was happy for you when you found him -- when you found each other. I just --"

He went silent, and it was Zoe's turn to hear what wasn't said. 'You may not blame me, but I still do.' It was one of the qualities that made her follow him, on the battlefield and off.

For the Captain, there was no such thing as an acceptable loss.

Every man mattered.

And every death under his command killed a little piece of him as well.

'Which is why he left so much of himself behind in Serenity Valley,' she thought sadly.

Zoe put her hand on his and squeezed. Mal looked up, surprised, and she smiled.

"One thing's for sure," she said softly, "my man really could fly. I was surprised he managed to get us down alive, as bad off as Serenity was."

Mal nodded, almost happy to move away from his own sense of guilt. "That's a fact. That pulse weapon took out most of the flight systems. Wash kept us in the air with nothing but his own self to depend on. He saved us all."

The captain shook his head. "He kept sayin', 'I am a leaf on the wind.' As if it meant somethin'." He shrugged. "Maybe it did to him. Whatever it meant, it helped him keep us flying, and turned a crash into a landing."

Mal raised his glass.

"To Wash," he said, looking into Zoe's eyes. "He did the impossible."

Zoe raised her own. "To Wash," she replied, " a hell of a pilot, and one hell of a man."

They drank together, and the silence became right at last.

River listened to the conversation as she lay motionless in the ductwork near the galley door. She didn't actually have to be this close to hear anyone in the crew anymore. Still, she wanted that physical closeness. She wanted to be close, to make her feel like part of them all, even if the others didn't know she was there. She could feel Mal and Zoe in the galley. Even when she was lying in her bunk, their feelings washed over her like warm ocean waves.

She didn't know how she did it. But that didn't matter anymore. Since Miranda, she was able to control it, and it made her closer to everyone here on her ship. This was her home, and these people were her family, and River loved them all. She would do whatever it took to keep them safe -- use whatever it was the Alliance gave her to keep them flying.

Now River had an entire ship full of people to take care of. Not just Simon, but Kaylee and Inara and Mal and Zoe. Even Jayne. Especially Jayne. She frowned, thinking about the things she'd seen him do in the past few days.

'He isn't the man he was,' she thought, reaching out to touch his sleeping mind. 'He fought it every step of the way, but he's changed since we came to Serenity. Jayne's finally getting that this crew is more than a crew, and maybe there are things that matter more than the next paycheck.' She smiled. 'He's growing up. Fun to watch.'

River thought back to what Mal and Zoe has said. Wash really had done the impossible. And for a few seconds there, as the ship fell like a stone, she had felt something change. It was as if Wash had reached out and turned the ship from a hunk of metal into an extension of his will, like a part of him. He just . . . MADE it stay in the air long enough to land safely.

It was impossible. But he had done it, just as she had fought an entire army of Reavers and won.

Somehow, River knew the 'Verse wasn't quite done with Wash yet.

'Maybe I'll see him again,' she thought with a smile. 'Stranger things have happened.'

Wash opened his eyes to find his world totally white. Floor and ceiling, anyway. The walls were either non-existent, or so far away they might as well be. The horizon was nothing more than a grayish blur

'Wherever I am,' he thought with a smile, 'I could really make it big as an interior decorator. These folks know nothing about color . . . let alone furniture.' He grinned. 'I've seen asteroids with more atmosphere than this.'

"Still, talk about your empty canvas . . ." Wash spoke aloud, and stopped. He was expecting an echo, but instead there was nothing. The sound was just swallowed by the vastness of the space. Creepy.

"So much to work with here, too. Lots of empty space. Add some comfy chairs, a few throw rugs, some nice curtains . . . maybe some nice windows to put the curtains on?" His voice trailed off. Wash felt a little panic rising from deep inside. Jokes only went so far, and the last thing he remembered was getting Serenity on the ground and looking over at his wife with pride. There was a sharp pain in the middle of his chest, and then nothing.

"Well, not exactly nothing." He spun around slowly to survey the emptiness. "But close enough, I guess."

"Welcome, Hoban Washburne."

The voice came from behind him, and it seemed familiar somehow. He turned, and saw Chiang floating a few feet in front of him . . . and a few feet above the floor.

"Gladys!" Wash exclaimed happily, and did his best to keep his smile small when he saw Chiang sigh. "What are you doing here?"

"I am doing what I have always done," Chiang said. "Working hard to restore the balance. Harder now, since I passed on."

"Passed on? You're dead?" The older man nodded. Wash grinned. "Well, that explains the huge empty room then. Sort of. Seems a bit sparse for Heaven's waiting room, though, doesn't it? Surely the gods could spring for some furniture, or a few potted plants?"

Chiang smiled. "Does it truly bother you?"

Wash thought for a moment. "Some. I started traveling for the scenery, after all. It feels all sorts of wrong when there isn't any."

There was a long pause, and Wash looked up at the older man. "I'm dead, aren’t I?"

Chiang nodded, his face impassive. "Just so."

The pilot nodded back. "Thought as much."

He walked around in a circle, his mind spinning. "Huh. It's funny. I should feel something, but I don't."

"Partly shock," the other man replied. "Partly because you . . . go on. Humans think of death as such a large transition, it is hard for you to accept that it really happened. You arrive here in the blink of an eye and the big moment becomes barely a bump in the road."

"Almost a letdown," Wash agreed, and then it hit him.

'Zoe.'

After a blank space in time, he found himself curled into a ball on the endless white floor, tears streaming down his face as all of the might-have-beens rolled though his head. Everything he had lost -- all that was taken from him in that instant -- was reduced to one word that echoed in his mind, over and over and over.

'Zoe.'

Wash didn't know how long he lay there, and Chiang said nothing. Eventually, the pilot sat up, still looking into the nothing and seeing all the life he left behind -- and the life he would never get to live.

"It's not quite over, Mister Washburne. You can see her again."

Chiang's words hung in the air, dragging a sliver of hope out of Wash's soul.

"How?" he asked, barely able to breathe. The old man sighed.

"There is a way, but it involves some sacrifice," he replied. "The Verse has been watching you. Serenity and her crew have survived more than their fair share of challenges. But evil waits for them on every moon, in every orbit, and their luck is not infinite. Still, they are good people, in their way --"

Wash blinked. "Have you met Jayne?"

The old man laughed. "Even Jayne has good in him, although he doesn't know it yet. As I was saying, your former crew does more good than harm on their journey, and the Universe has decided that they need to remain in play -- to keep the balance, as it were. River was our first attempt to keep Malcolm Reynolds and his crew alive, and push the captain into remembering what it meant to believe in something, instead of just drifting. But now we believe the crew requires a bigger edge than River alone can provide, even as formidable as she is."

The pilot shook his head, slowly. "What are you saying?"

"That Serenity still needs a pilot," Chiang smiled. "One who can do the impossible . . . once in a while."

Wash's heart skipped a beat -- or it would have, had it still been beating. "Chong Jian Tian Ri! You mean I can go back?"

Chiang raised a hand. "In a way. Your body is dead and buried on that distant planet. But your soul can return, and rejoin the crew. If you're willing."

"Are you kidding? I'm back in a heartbeat . . . so to speak!" Wash bounced to his feet, his smile nearly too wide for his face. "When do I leave?"

"Right now, if you wish." The older man held up a hand. "Time has passed in the world you left, and Captain Reynolds has been looking for a new pilot for months. Fortunately, you were too good to be easily replaced, but he has found a suitable candidate -- and so have we."

"Do it!" Wash's whole body trembled with excitement. 'I get to see Zoe again!' he shouted inside. 'And I get to fly!'

Chiang hesitated. "There is something you should know. The pilot you are about to become . . . the life you are about to enter . . ."

"Oh, come on, Gladys!" Wash fairly bristled with frustration. "I'll pick it up as I go along. How hard can it be? I've always been good at flying by the seat of my pants. 'Leaf on the wind,' remember? Just send me back already!"

"As you wish, Mr. Washburne. Although you may find the seat of your pants to be not quite as familiar as you remember it to be." Chiang smiled. "Your life is about to get very . . . interesting."

Wash felt a twist in his soul, an instant of foreboding.

"Wait a minute," he said, holding up a hand. "Define --"

"-- interesting."

He was in a bar, sitting across a table from Mal, Zoe, and Jayne. It was a spaceport bar, that much he could tell. Loud, grungy, and just two insults away from a brawl. Wash had been here before, he felt sure, but the name of the place floated just outside of his reach. Probably because he was too busy dealing with the rush of differences that washed over him and left him struggling to catch up with his new here-and-now.

His whole body felt wrong -- smaller and lighter, and strangely off-balance. His arms and legs were longer and thinner than what he remembered from his old body. And this body felt way overdue for a haircut.

'Easily fixed,' he thought, trying to get back in control of the situation. With his three former shipmates staring at him, Wash realized what was happening. 'This must be the job interview Chiang talked about -- my ticket back onto the ship. So look friendly and interested already, stupid.' He licked his lips and smiled.

Mal looked happy, Zoe was reserved and skeptical, and Jayne kept staring at him with a hungry look he'd never seen on Jayne's face before. 'At least,' he thought, confused, 'not when he was looking at me.'

"I'm glad our offer interests you," Mal said with a smile. "Every reference we've gotten says you're good, and we need the best."

Zoe spoke then, her eyes never leaving Wash. He could hear the lack of enthusiasm in her voice. "Awfully young, sir."

Mal started, then turned to her. "Well, young, yes, but I figure talent don't need age, just a ship and a place to fly her to."

"Thank you," Wash replied, and stopped. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I hope I can live up to my reviews."

The voice was melodic and higher than he remembered, and suddenly he froze as the pieces started coming together. He remembered Chiang's smile and his parting comments, and the look on Jayne's face suddenly made a hell of a lot more sense.

'Damn you, Chiang,' he thought savagely. Wash tried to look down at the tabletop to hide his feelings from his old crew, but he found his flight suit stuck out a lot more in the chest area than he remembered. A lot more. He sighed, and heard a dry chuckle in his head.

'Think of this as payback for calling me Gladys,' Chiang said. Wash could hear the smile in his voice. 'Although it isn't, really. Linda is the only chance we have to get you back with your crewmates.'

'Is she real? I mean, a real person?'

'Oh, yes. Quite real. She should have died in a shuttle explosion last week, but we diverted her to a different ship and kept her soul in her body as a placeholder until you agreed to take possession . . . so to speak.'

"Well then, Miss Wehr," Mal said, smiling again. "Let's go take a look at your new home, meet the rest of the crew and take her for a cruise. What do you say?"

Wash took a deep breath and watched his chest rise. Jayne watched it, too, and the pilot felt a brief stirring of panic.

'But why a she? Why her? Admittedly I wasn't always a finalist in the Mister Testosterone contest, but still --"

'Because she is our only chance. Our last chance.' Chiang's voice was cool, and Wash heard something there he didn't expect. Worry. 'Because Mal has places to be, and Linda is the last candidate under consideration before he gives up for now and leaves River at the controls. And if you're not there to save them in the next few months, another chance will never come. Serenity and her crew will die in deep space, alone and unremembered -- unless you're behind the stick. Unless you are their pilot.'

'Can't I tell them? I mean, that I'm . . . well, really me?' Wash's mental voice held an edge of desperation. Chiang's voice in reply was understanding, but direct.

'No. At best it would confuse everyone -- make them uncertain about you, the Verse, and everything they know, at a time when they need to be free of doubt, or wind up dead.' Chiang sighed. 'At worst, they could decide you're trying to con them somehow. They would set you loose on some little moon in that body to fend for yourself, and fly off to die without you there to save them.'

Wash noted that everything around him had frozen, as if the world were suspended in the gap between one second and the next. Chiang appeared in front of him.

"The choice is yours," Chiang continued aloud. "You've earned your time on the other side, no question. You could leave this life behind forever, without looking back. Or you could become Linda Rachel Wehr, Serenity's new pilot, and save your friends. Your family. Your wife."

The pilot sighed. "When you put it like that, there's really no choice at all, is there?" His new voice made it more of a question than the statement it was.

The older man nodded. "Not really. Not for someone like you."

He looked at his wife, the woman he loved, and realized things would never be the same between them again. 'But that's okay,' he thought, 'she'll still be alive, and I'll still have her . . . sort of. And how bad can it be, really? I mean, after all, women are human, too, right?' Wash went through his own memories, remembering every woman he'd ever known and ending up with Zoe. The urge to panic rose again. 'Who am I kidding? They're a whole different species!'

"Chiang, I'm not sure I can do this. I've never . . ." The pilot shrugged, struggling with putting his fear into words. "I never understood women when I was a guy, and now you want me to BE one?"

"I know. This was not what you wanted, but it is what it is." Chiang gave Wash a sympathetic smile. "It won't be easy for you, but do not worry. You will have Linda's memories to guide you, at least part of the way. And you will have help on Serenity. You won't be alone, I promise."

The pilot sighed and shook his head, then nodded to Chiang. Chiang nodded back, and vanished.

'So now I'm a she,' Wash thought ruefully. 'Best start thinking of myself as one -- not that I know how, of course, but I'm guessing pronouns would be a good start.'

"Ms. Wehr?" Mal stood up and held out his hand, still smiling. "Are you okay?"

Wash looked up at Mal, smiled back and rose to her feet, trying desperately to ignore the ten million little things her new body shouted at her that screamed "girl." She stuck out her hand.

"Please, call me Linda," she said sweetly. Instead of the strong handshake she remembered, Mal took her hand gently. Wash cringed inside. As they walked towards the door, she watched heads turn, and saw her reflection in the mirror over the bar. Long red hair in a tumbling mess of curls, pale skin, green eyes, and a body with curves not even her flight suit and jacket could hide.

'Damn.' Wash shook her head, feeling the curls bounce. 'She just had to be a knock-out, didn't she.'

Still keeping the smile on her face, she walked a step behind Mal, following him to the exit. Zoe and Jayne fell in behind her.

"Sure like the view," Jayne whispered to Zoe, just loud enough for Wash to hear. She was pretty sure he didn't mean the bar. "And I'm real glad she don't want us to call her by her last name,"

"Why's that?" Zoe's puzzlement was clear in her tone.

Jayne snorted. "Cause then we'd have to go from Wash . . . to Wehr." Wash groaned inside, and Jayne snorted again before breaking off into that deep laugh she'd heard a hundred times before.

'Chiang was right,' Wash thought with a sigh. 'This is going to be . . . interesting.'

'Think of it as turning over a new leaf,' Chiang's voice said before breaking off into a laugh of his own.

'Terrific,' Wash grumbled inside as Mal held the door open for her. 'Now everybody's a comedian.'

Chapter 2 -- Lost Luggage

Wash moved through the door with a "thank you" nod to Mal, and climbed the long spiral stairway towards ground level. She was very much aware of how her new hips moved, and how the slight bouncing of her chest with every step pulled just a little on bra straps that tugged her shoulders. Wash could even feel the movement of her hair against her neck and shoulders through the fabric of her flight suit and jacket.

She spent an awful lot of mental energy not thinking about what wasn't between her legs anymore -- almost as much energy as she spent not thinking about what was, now.

But as Wash climbed the stairs, just using her new body made it easier to deal with. By the time she reached the top step, the edge of the newness had almost worn off. She still wasn't happy with the way things had turned out, but at least she didn't hate the way every step made her feel.

'Hell, I'm alive, right?' she said inside. 'Got to be better than dead, even if my skin doesn't quite fit anymore.'

But no matter how many times she repeated it, the words didn't seem to kill the sense of loss Wash felt. She was surrounded by her closest friends in the 'Verse, and yet, she had never felt so alone.

She could almost feel Mal's eyes watching her from behind as she climbed the stairs, but strangely enough, it didn't seem to bother her at all. 'It's okay,' Wash realized, a little surprised. 'After all, Mal's a man -- a good man, but still a man. And men look, especially at a body that looks this good. Hell, if the old me were back there, I'd look -- if Zoe weren't there to catch me, that is.'

The new girl grinned, thinking about the thinly-veiled warnings Zoe would deliver, and the things she'd do in private later to show him why he didn't need to look at other women. The smile faded as she thought of Jayne, and the expression on his face in the bar. Mal would look her over if the opportunity presented itself, but he might feel bad about it afterwards if she caught him at it. If Wash caught Jayne, he'd would probably smile and nod and wink, as if undressing her with his eyes were some kind of bizarre Jayne-ish compliment. Wash could feel him eyeing her from behind with some odd extra sense she knew only women possessed. From past experience, Wash knew the man had no clue about how to be subtle at all, and the weight of his attention was almost a tangible thing.

'I am going to need to do something about Jayne,' she thought with a mental sigh. 'I know damned well he wants me, and he won't touch me unless Mal gives him the okay. And Mal will tell him I'm off-limits if I ask him to. But I also know Jayne will chase me anyway, whether I want him to or not, and I'm still man enough not to want to be chased by any guy, let alone Jayne.'

Wash stopped at the top of the stairs and looked around. Her memory came back in a rush.

'Santo,' she remembered, her smile returning. 'We're on Santo! How Joh Bu Jian! I haven't been here since the week after flight school ended -- that little vacation I took before starting my gig with that transport line. Oh, yes. The gambling . . . the drinking . . . And that was the "Crash and Burn" we just left? Man, I don't remember it being such a dive. I guess I shouldn't be surprised -- a lot of pilots looked for pick-up work there.'

Mal moved around her, muttering an apology, and she quickly stepped aside before Jayne could use her blocking the way as an excuse for a quick brush with girl-flesh -- her girl-flesh. Wash shivered, and hurried to keep up with Mal.

###

Jayne watched the new girl speed up to walk near Mal and smiled.

'She don't know me yet, but I bet I can make her want to.' He watched her move through the crowded streets with that kind of girlish wiggle that always made Lil' Jayne sit up and take notice. Most unwelcome hands passed her by with Mal so close, acting all grim and purposeful and captainy and such, but a few snaked past to give her a quick pat on her ass before she could avoid them. Jayne could tell it didn't make her happy.

'She ain't gonna be easy,' he thought. 'No Jien Huo, that's for sure. But not Bu Ku Nuhn neither.' He watched her more, wondering what she would be like in bed and finding the idea more than interesting. 'Hell, sometimes a man needs a gorram challenge. And I ain't had me a woman for long enough that I don't much mind working for it.'

Jayne's lips moved into a predator's grin. 'Girl, you just became my newest hobby. Just lay back and enjoy the chase . . . and what comes after. Dohn-mah?'

###

Zoe wasn't quite sure what to make of the newcomer. On the one hand, she was obviously bright, friendly, and professional. The Captain liked her, which said a lot. And it didn't hurt that she came highly recommended by people she and the Captain could trust.

On the other hand, she wasn't Wash.

Since Wash's death, River had flown the ship, and she was damned good at it. Still, she had always left Wash's seat empty, preferring to fly from the left-hand station. When Simon asked her why, she smiled and replied, "because that's Wash's place, Ghuh. And it always will be." That was one reason Zoe never minded River taking her man's job -- especially when she did so well at the controls.

'But now this redheaded girl was just going to step into Wash's shoes?' Zoe shook her head. It just grated some, is all. It shouldn't be that easy.

She knew it was wrong and unfair, but she couldn't help what she felt. Her husband had been the best pilot in the 'Verse. And Zoe wasn't going to make it any easier for this Hu Li Jing to take his place than she had to. Linda would have to earn that pilot's seat, one way or another.

Zoe would make sure of it.

###

Wash squirmed again, trying to ignore the hands that kept darting out of the crowd to touch her. As a man, she'd never been subjected to such casual abuse. Women didn't usually go in for recreational groping, as much as the teenaged Wash sometimes wanted them to. But now that he was a she, Wash was discovering how totally uncomfortable and humiliating it was to be trapped in a crowd and fondled without a thought for who she was. She thought about saying something to Mal, but she knew that he might see her as less than she was if she called for help over something a man might see as trivial. As angry as this was making her, Wash thought it might be best to just let it slide. After all, they were almost to the spaceport. It couldn't last too much longer.

'Just let it go,' she repeated to herself. 'Leaf on the wind, right? Rise above it. Nothing but a bunch of jerks, having their fun. It'll be over soon.' For a while, it almost worked.

Then one hand touched, grabbed, and squeezed. HARD.

Wash's anger flared. Without thinking, she reached back, snagged the interloper's hand, and pressed and twisted simultaneously. A teenaged boy fell to his knees at her feet with a yelp of pain, and she looked down at him with a snarl.

"HEY!" she shouted into his face. Mal turned around, surprised at the outburst. Jayne and Zoe stopped in their tracks and stared. "Just because my ass moves around a bit, doesn't mean you get to reach out and grab it, Sah Gwa. What're you, a monkey? Something wiggles and you just have to see if you can catch it?"

A few of his friends stood just a few feet away, shocked into silence by how easily their leader was caught -- and how angry his target turned out to be.

"That's my butt you're messing with, Bei Bi Shiou Ren." Wash twisted the hand again, and the boy whimpered. "Time you saw this body has hands, too -- and knows how to use them."

Tears began to rise in the boy's eyes. The pilot raised her voice and looked up to catch the eyes of the gang members.

"You listen up, all of you! Anyone touches me like that again, and I'll twist something else -- hard enough to break it off, dohn-mah?" She stared at them all and let them see how serious she was. "Dohn-luh-mah?"

The entire gang looked down at their feet and nodded quickly. "Yes, honored miss, donh-mah, donh-mah!"

Wash let go of the leader and pushed him away with her boot. "Kwai Jio Kai. Take a hike." The gang grabbed him as he fell and they all disappeared into the crowd without a backward glance. There was a smattering of applause. Some of the women on the sidelines laughed, while the men eyed her warily and gave the crazy pilot-girl a lot of room.

Wash was breathing heavily, letting the adrenaline burn itself off. 'Hell, was that me? Or Linda? Or both? Either way, it felt good! Damn!' Then she began to realize how dangerous it had been.

Mal approached slowly, not quite sure what to say.

"That was . . . impressive," he said tentatively. "Really . . . something."

Wash shook her head, still shaking a bit. "No, Captain. I really shouldn't have lost my head like that. What if he had a knife or a gun? It's all manner of stupid for me to get myself killed to stop someone from a bit of grab and go." She looked down at the floor and sighed. "The smart thing to do was just ignore it. The whole thing could have gone south real fast."

Mall cocked his head, curious. "If that's how you feel, why'd you do it?"

She looked up into Mal's eyes, her mouth set in a grim line. "Because I got mad. I'm nobody's play toy. I'm a pilot, and a damned good one. If I let them treat me like a piece of meat, they're stealing who I am -- who I worked hard to be. I can't let that slide."

"Ain't wrong to take a stand when you need to." The Captain's voice held a question, even though none was asked. "Sounds like you've had to fight before."

Wash remembered being the smallest guy in flight school, and having to prove himself to the rest of the jocks -- sometimes with his fists, but more often with his quick wit and a ready grin. As she remembered her own history, some of Linda's past slipped through as well, and Wash smiled as the memories washed over her. "I'm a woman and a pilot. Most of my classmates were men." She shrugged. "Sometimes you just have to draw a line and make it stick, or folk will walk all over you. Men folk in particular. Most guys have to be told where the line is, and made to stay on their side of it. Can't help it, goes with the testosterone." She grinned. "Present company excepted, of course."

Zoe stepped up, a smile twitching across her lips. "Oh, don't make an exception for the Captain. He's crossed a few lines in his day, haven't you, Sir? When he thinks a woman's worth all the yellin' and carryin' on that follows."

Mal grinned and then looked away, embarrassed. "That's enough tellin' tales, Zoe."

"Sorry, Sir," Zoe replied, still smiling. "My lips are sealed."

Jayne smirked and snorted, and Mal shot him a look. Then he turned to Wash with a smile.

"Serenity's over this way, Linda," he said. "Best get to the boat so we can see if you fly as good as you fight."

"Sounds good to me, Captain." She smiled and started walking. "Been too long since I broke atmo. Be nice to be in the black again."

###

Serenity was . . . Serenity. There were a lot of Firefly-class ships out there still, but Wash felt a pull to this particular boat that wasn't quite rational. They'd been through a lot, since he first joined up with Mal and met Zoe, but the connection between pilot and ship had never been stronger.

Now, standing here looking at her through Linda's eyes, she could still feel that connection deep inside. Serenity had missed her, and it almost seemed as if the ship welcomed her back. 'Silly, I know,' Wash chided herself inside, 'but if there wasn't more to the 'Verse than you could see, I wouldn't be here.'

'Of course, I AM inside a body of the wrong sex -- one that Jayne wants to play with.' Wash sighed. 'Just more proof the 'Verse is not perfect, and never will be.'

Hands on her hips, Wash gave her old ship a once over, and what she saw made her sad, just a little. She was shiny, and obviously well-cared for, but there were scars that no amount of care could eradicate, and a tear slipped out and left a trail down her cheek.

"Sorry, baby," she whispered. "I did my best."

Mal turned, not sure what he heard, and found his new pilot with a tear on her cheek.

"Linda?" he asked, his voice tentative. "Are you okay?"

Wash shook her head and smiled. "Yes and no," the girl replied, "She's beautiful but I can see she's been through a lot. I sort of . . . feel her pain, if that makes any sense."

Zoe's voice came from over her shoulder. "What do you feel, exactly?" She turned and found her ex-wife wearing the blank look Wash recognized as her bargaining face. It hid her skepticism from all except those who knew her. Wash shrugged and turned back to Serenity .

"She's been hurt . . . in a crash," she said softly. "Whoever landed her must have been one hell of a pilot. She's been put back together again by folks who care, and it shows. But like every ship that comes back from a crash, there are always scars. And that's . . . well, that's always a shame."

There was a long silence, and with a shrug of her shoulders, Wash started forward, leaving the others behind.

###

"Now that's downright creepifyin'," Jayne whispered to Zoe. The first mate shrugged.

"Any half-decent pilot can see she'd crashed, Jayne."

"Yeah, but what about the other stuff? Bein' put back together by folks who cared and such?"

Mal stepped in. "It don't sound like she's lyin', so I think she believes it. And since River joined the crew, I'm not exactly willin' to think Linda's crazy because she thinks she can feel the ship's past just by lookin' at her. Wash used to talk to the ship like she was alive all the time. Ain't no different, to my mind."

Zoe gave Mal a dark look, and Mal shrugged. "It just don't seem different to me, Zoe. You got another opinion, fine." Zoe looked at Mal and said nothing.

Jayne backed up a step, then another. 'The one place nobody wants to be is between Mal and Zoe when they's fixin' to argue,' he thought.

The Captain leaned forward, and his voice became sharp. "You may not like it, but we need a pilot -- a licensed one, and that's a fact. River's done fine, but we just managed to dodge having the Alliance take Serenity in tow twice, just 'cause the forged papers we bought on Persephone don't fly as well as River does."

Zoe looked down, biting her lip. "I ain't sayin' we don't need a pilot, Sir. Just ain't too sure she's the pilot we need is all."

"Well, I am," Mal said, watching Linda walk around the ship. "I don't think she's lyin' about what she feels for Serenity , and she seems pleasant enough company. If Kaylee and River like her, and if she lives up to everything I've heard when she takes the controls, she's gonna be flyin' my boat full-time. I don't want to have to worry about you treatin' her as less than one of the crew, just because she's trying to fill Wash's shoes."

Zoe took a deep breath and shook her head. Mal turned his eyes back to Zoe, and she raised her eyes to meet his. He sighed. "I'm not askin' you to bunk with the girl, Zoe. Just don't hold it against her that she ain't him, dohn ma?"

"I'll do my best, Sir."

"Can't ask for more than that," Mal said with a smile. "Your best has always been better than anybody's, and that's a fact."

Zoe smiled back, and Jayne let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. There had been more of these head bumpin' almost-fights since they lost Wash -- both Mal and Zoe were a little rougher around the edges than they used to be. He shrugged. 'Like when Ma and Pa used to almost go at it,' he thought, 'before they moved on to the real fightin' and cussin'. And ain't that a scary place for my mind to be goin'.'

Jayne watched as Mal and Zoe started off to catch up with the new pilot. He shook his head. 'What's past is past, chun zi. Stay in the here and now. Think about the new girl, and how great it's gonna be to have somethin' warm and soft in your bunk for a change.'

Watching Linda as she walked away, a smile grew on Jayne's face, and he moved to follow.

###

Kaylee stood in the open hatch to the cargo bay and watched the new pilot approach.

'She's pretty, all right,' the mechanic thought, chewing on her lower lip. 'Heck, she's beautiful. All that red hair and those curves and that smile . . . I can see Jayne puttin' on his girl chasing face plain as day from here.' Her heart raced a little faster, and she frowned in distress. 'Damn, she's -- I can't compete with that! She's gonna come on board and see my Simon, and that's gonna be it for lil' ol' Kaylee. One look . . .'

"One look at my brother, and she'll shake his hand and keep her distance," River said from behind her. Kaylee turned quickly, one hand on her mouth, and blushed.

"You didn't say it out loud, mei mei." The younger girl smiled and gave her a quick hug. "But I don't need to be a reader to see what's going through your head." She turned her eyes out to the approaching group. "She's pretty, but Simon loves you. You know that. No other girl is going to steal him from you." Her eyes narrowed, and she grinned. "Especially THAT girl. Trust me, Kaylee, she just wants to be a friend. If you let her. She could use a friend right now."

After another quick hug, River looked into her friend's eyes. "And you're beautiful too, you know."

"Oh, I ain't." Kaylee shook her head and turned away from the hatch. "I'm just me. Nothin' special to look at."

"Somebody needs a mirror," River sang in a teasing voice. Kaylee blushed deeper. "Besides, Simon loves you for you. All of you. What's outside and what's in. That's what matters."

"River's right, Kaylee."

Kaylee turned and found Simon standing behind her. She looked up at him with a small smile. "About what?"

"About everything." He smiled down at her. "That's part of what makes her so annoying sometimes, don't you think?"

River grinned, stuck her tongue out at Simon.

"I love you, too, big brother," she said, then turned and did a perfect set of cartwheels clear across the cargo bay, leaving the two lovers alone. Kaylee's eyes turned back towards the hatch, and Simon stepped forward and put his arms around her.

"I've already found the girl I love," he said, the look on his face making her melt. "And nobody's going to take me from her, or her from me -- not without a fight."

"You say the nicest things," Kaylee murmured, her lips pressed against his.

Simon kissed her quick and grinned. "I've been practicing."

Her eyes opened wide and she slapped him hard on the arm. "Hey! You ain't supposed to tell a girl that!"

"Well, remember how my mouth managed to get me into trouble with you before, on that commerce station . . . with the 'alien' cow?" Kaylee tried to wriggle out of Simon's arms, but he held her tight and looked into her eyes. "I think I'm smart enough to figure out I need a little help in the romance department once in a while, so . . . I think ahead a little. Because I love you, and you deserve romance."

Kaylee looked up and saw Simon's smile, and her resistance slipped through her fingers. "Awwwww, that's sweet." Then she frowned a little. "Did you practice that one up, too?"

"No," Simon replied as he bent to kiss her, "Just came up with it right now. Inspired, honest."

"Good. I like inspirin'. Let's do some more." Their lips met and the rest of the world slipped away . . . until Mal made his presence known by tromping heavily up the cargo bay entry ramp. They separated slowly and turned to see the new pilot silhouetted against the spaceport skyline, bracketed by the Captain, Jayne, and Zoe.

"Oh hell, you two, get a room," Jayne growled, then stopped and grinned. "Oh wait! That's right, you already got one." He leaned against the door frame and smirked. "But if you two want to get to ruttin' right here, I ain't about to stop you. 'Bout time we had some in-flight entertainment on this boat. Maybe we could even get the new girl to join in."

For an instant, Zoe felt embarrassed that Jayne would be . . . well, Jayne . . . in front of an outsider. But then she remembered that Linda might wind up crew, and maybe it was better for her to see Jayne in all his "glory" before thinking about signing on. She kept silent.

Mal, on the other hand, didn't want the new pilot driven away. "Jayne!" he growled, shooting him a look that should have pinned him to the spot. Jayne just smiled back, although the wattage in his grin seemed to dim a bit.

Wash shook her head, and Mal looked at her. "Remember what I said before, Captain, about some men forgetting where the line is?" She walked over to stand in front of Jayne and looked up into his smirk. "Mister Cobb here seems like the type that needs reminding more than most."

"Ain't that a fact," Zoe said under her breath.

"Aw, heck, sweetie," Jayne replied, looking down the front of Wash's flight suit, "Let's not be so formal. You can call me Jayne. Mister Cobb was my father."

"Really?" Wash leaned forward, eyes wide. "Then maybe we should send him a wave, so he can give you a crash course in female anatomy. Obviously, he missed a few things when you were growing up. I'll give you just a small lesson for now, though." She reached out with a finger and shoved his chin upward until they were face to face. "When you're talking to a woman, her eyes are up here!"

"Well, yeah," the mercenary said, still smiling, "but even as pretty as yours are, they ain't half as much fun to look at while you're jawing. Or any other time for that matter." He moved his face closer to hers, and she could see he didn't care what she thought. "And as for learnin' 'bout a woman's body, I already know how all the pieces fit. But if you really want to show me somethin', I do better with 'hands on' trainin'." He looked down into her flight suit again, and his fingers twitched.

"Jayne!" Mal's voice held an anger Jayne knew better than to ignore. "Walk away now, or they'll be pickin' pieces of you up off the ground from here to the control tower once we lift. I'll throw you into the engine myself. And you know that's a fact."

Jayne looked into Mal's eyes, and what he saw there was truth. Still, he wasn't about to look shy in front of the new girl, so he snorted, turned and walked slowly towards the stairs to the crew quarters. He stopped, turned and gave Wash's whole body a long looking over. Then he looked into her eyes and grinned. "If . . . anybody . . . wants me, I'll be in my bunk."

Then he turned and started climbing the stairs.

Wash suddenly had the weirdest feeling -- a cross between wanting to slowly roast the man over the plasma exhaust, and not being able to take her eyes off of his bottom as Jayne climbed the stairs. The mixed signals between soul and body made her head hurt, and she turned away and clenched her fists, trying to regain control.

'An Fen Shou Ji,' she thought angrily. 'Stop acting like a . . . a . . . just stop it! I may have to live this way, but there are lines Mrs. Washburne's little boy is not going to cross any time soon. Men? Maybe, someday . . . when pigs fly. I like sex too much to just sit it out for the next ninety years. But if there's any man in this 'Verse I'm NEVER getting moon-eyed over, it's Jayne Neanderthal Cobb!'

Mal saw Linda turn away, looking like she was trying to regain control of her temper. He saw how Jayne treated his orders, and decided he needed a little one-on-one time with his head of "public relations."

"Zoe, make some introductions and show Linda around," Mal said, his tone sharper than he'd like. He flashed Linda a tight smile and turned back to Zoe. "I need to have a few words with Jayne."

"Understood, Sir."

As Mal barreled up the stairs after Jayne, Kaylee stepped forward.

"Hi! I'm Kaylee!" She reached out a hand and gave Wash's a squeeze. "I'm the ship's mechanic. And this is Simon Tam, the ship's doctor."

Wash smiled. She had always liked Kaylee. Simon, too -- both sweet kids. "Hey! Two folks who fix things, machines and people. Now there's a match made in Heaven." As Kaylee blushed and Simon looked down, Wash gave the mechanic's hand a squeeze in return. "I'm pleased to meet you both." She turned and shook the doctor's hand as well.

"Sorry about Jayne," Kaylee said. "He's usually not this . . . direct."

Zoe shook her head. "I've seen him chasing women before. Remember at the Heart of Gold? This is usually the way he . . . catches the ones he wants." She shrugged. "With girls, he likes using a sledgehammer to rip down a rice paper wall."

"Maybe in a whore house, sniffing after a doxy . . . or two," Kaylee replied, uncertain. "But this is home, Zoe. He's teased me a little from time to time, but he's never done that with any of the crew before."

The first mate gave Wash a cool look. "Still hasn't -- yet."

Wash saw the distance in Zoe's eyes and looked away. 'God, it hurts when she looks at me like that. Like I mean less than nothing to her.'

"No, Zoe. Kaylee's right." Simon frowned. "He's usually more . . . civilized than this, especially with us, and especially around Mal. Most of the time, what he lacks in social skills he makes up for just being crude -- but I thought Mal had some kind of influence over him. Enough to keep him at least pretending to be a regular human being."

Wash thought back to when she was a he, and impressing a woman put every other consideration on the back burner. "Sometimes when a guy decides he wants a girl, he checks his brains at the door and lets other body parts think for him," she said. "Jayne seems like the type who lets his body do the thinking more often than not."

Zoe gave it a bit of thought, then dismissed it. "Not our problem right now," she said briskly. "Captain will set it right. He always does. Right now, I've got my orders. Ms. Wehr, if you'll come with me?"

Kaylee put her arm through Wash's. "Linda will come with us," she announced, giving the first mate a dark look. Forgetting her earlier worries, she handed Linda off to Simon with a smile. "Why don't you take her down to the engine room, Simon. That's the best place to start a tour, at least when I'm the one givin' it. I'll be right with you."

Slightly confused, Simon nodded. Wash gave Kaylee a look over her shoulder, and Kaylee nodded happily at her before she disappeared with her man into the depths of the ship. Then she turned on Zoe with a ferocity that took the first mate totally by surprise.

"Honestly, Zoe, why're you're being so gorram mean?" The mechanic put her hands on her hips and thrust her face forward. "The Captain wants her on the crew, and anybody can see she's sweet as a strawberry sundae, but you're treating her like a redheaded stepchild that's been sprayed by a skunk and wrapped in your best dress. That girl could be family, maybe, someday -- if she don't run for the hills 'cause of the first impression you're givin' her. What's wrong with you?"

Zoe set her jaw and wisely said nothing. Kaylee's eyes widened. "You want to drive her away? What the hell for?" There was a long silence as Kaylee figured it out. Then all of the emotion drained from her face, except for a disapproval so powerful that Zoe could feel it across the cargo bay. Her next words cut deep.

"Captain would be disappointed in you. Wash would, too. I know I am."

Shaking her head, Kaylee turned away and started walking towards the back of the ship, leaving the first mate to think about what it meant to disappoint the Captain -- and what her husband would really think about the way she was acting.

###

"Jayne, what the hell were you thinkin'?" Mal stepped into Jayne's room with murder on his mind and stopped short. Jayne was sitting on his bunk, and from the look on his face, he was thinking harder than any other time Mal had ever seen the mercenary think.

"Somethin' about that girl ain't right," he muttered, then looked up at Mal.

"You think the girl ain't right?" The captain was stunned. "You're the gorram idiot who insulted her in front of a whole mess a new people!"

"Insulted?" Jayne looked up at the captain, his confusion evident. "Damn it, Mal, I was tryin' to court her. Usin' my best stuff, too. She shoulda jumped me before I took two steps out of the bay." He shook his head. "That girl ain't right."

"Are you brain-blown? You expected her to jump you?" Mal shook his head in disbelief. "She's ain't a whore, Jayne. She's a professional pilot, and a damned good one. She ain't gonna start chasin' you around the cargo bay in the middle of a job interview, even if she is interested, which believe me, she ain't."

"How do you know?"

"'Cause I saw her looking mad enough to chew a hole through the hull when you walked off."

"Dammit, Mal, why would she be mad?"

It suddenly got real quiet, and Mal realized Jayne's social skills might actually not be up to dealin' with a woman as more than a sex toy. "Because you treated her like a whore, Jayne. Whores jump when you tell them you want 'em 'cause there's a stack of credits waiting when your wanting them is through. But women in general . . . well, women are people, Jayne. They need to know you think of them as more than warm things to play with. They need respect." Mal sighed and shook his head. "Jayne, you never treated Kaylee the way you treated Linda just now, did you?"

"Hell, no, Mal!" Jayne looked confused. "That'd be like tryin' to make time with my sister!"

"Or Zoe?"

He snorted. "Come on! She'd KILL me!"

"Or Inara?"

"YOU'D kill me!"

"Gorram right, I would. Inara would, too. You treat most any woman we come across the way you treated Linda, you'd be dead before you hit the ground."

Jayne stopped, and squinted at Mal. "If that's true, why ain't I dead yet?"

"Maybe 'cause you're lucky," Mal replied. "Maybe 'cause Linda was way too busy interviewin' to kill you. Keep at her like that, though, and I reckon she'll find the time soon enough. And if she don't, I most certainly will."

Jayne sat heavily on his bunk, pulling down the blanket that covered his collection of weapons. "Well, ain't that shiny. We got a new girl comin' aboard and I'm already humped." Mal smiled, and Jayne looked up and scowled. "You know I don't mean it like that! I mean she needs the kind of courtin' I can't do."

"Jayne, you're a grown man," the captain said slowly. "You tellin' me you never courted a woman before?"

"Oh, I tried," Jayne growled, staring at the floor. "Never got nowhere with any of 'em. I guess now I can figger out why."

"Didn't nobody ever teach you how?"

"Daddy ran off long before I started noticing how much better girls looked with curves." Jayne stood up and walked over to the desk. He picked up a holo of his family. "Ma sure didn't want to teach me how to catch a girl. Get her in trouble, that's one more mouth to feed. So when I got out and started seeing the 'Verse on my own, I had to figger out how to catch a girl -- and what to do with her when I caught her."

"Oh? How's that working out?" Mal managed to keep the smirk from his face, but Jayne heard a touch of it in his voice.

"Now that ain't fair, Mal! I do the best I can. It just ain't . . . all that good is all. At the catching part, anyway. Never got no complaints about what happens after, least from the whores I could catch." He snorted and put down the picture of his family. "This ain't about getting sexed, Mal. The kind of work I do, I never expected to settle down or nothin', least not 'til somebody settled me with a bullet or two. But suddenly, it's a few years later, and I ain't dead. And things start to look a mite different when you start thinkin' about the future -- specially when you thought you'd never have one."

He stared at the far wall, looking at nothing at all. "I seen what Zoe had with Wash, and what Kaylee has with the Doc, and I started wondering what it would be like to be with a woman who wanted me instead of my cash."

"I started thinkin' it woulda been nice to have the chance someday, if I stayed alive long enough." Jayne shrugged. "But if I can't even talk up a reg'lar girl without shootin' myself in the foot, I got nothin' to look forward to but a hole in the ground and some words from a preacher. If I had somebody to show me when I was growing up, maybe . . ." He drifted into silence, shaking his head. "But now? No chance at all."

Mal saw that this was really somethin' bothering the mercenary. 'Jayne may not be much, but he is crew,' he thought, 'and to be fair, he did stand up without a thought for coin when we fought the Reavers and the Alliance to let the 'Verse know about Miranda. He's a hell of a lot better than he was when he first came aboard, and that's a fact.'

'If I help him get together with Linda and she takes a shine to him, he might actually be a mite easier to manage. Anything that makes Jayne behave himself is fine by me. And it'll keep the new pilot from strayin' off the boat if they hit it off.' His lip twitched, and he scratched an ear to hide it. 'Kept Wash here right enough.'

Mall took a deep breath and scratched the back of his head.

"Well, I wouldn't say no chance, exactly," he said, letting a little reluctance creep into his voice. "I mean, if you go back and tell her you're sorry -- and really mean it -- she might let it go, just this one time."

Jayne thought for a second and shook his head again. "It's no good, Mal. Even if I fixed it now, I'd just make a mess of it again later, you know that."

There was a long silence, then Mal spoke.

"What if you didn't?"

###

Wash followed Kaylee from the engine room on forward, remembering all of the good things that had happened on this ship in her past life. Every room held its own memories, and as she drifted behind the mechanic, she almost felt as if she was touching her past with her fingertips as she moved through Serenity .

Simon excused himself when they reached the infirmary, after getting Linda's authorization to access and download her medical records over the Cortex if the captain gave her the final okay to join the crew. He also mentioned something about scheduling a complete physical as soon as possible once they were on their way. As Ship's Doctor, her health was his responsibility, and she could see he took it seriously.

Wash nodded numbly with a wooden smile, eyeing the collapsed stirrups under the exam table with a barely suppressed sigh.

As they left Simon behind, Kaylee nudged her with a shoulder and gave her a little smile. "Looked like the idea of getting squeezed, poked, and prodded don't quite set right with you."

Wash ducked her head and gave the mechanic a small grin. "Does it ever?"

"Well, you don't need to worry," Kaylee said, giving her a small hug and an understanding smile. "Simon's really good at what he does. Won't hardly hurt at all. And he's got a gentle touch when it counts the most."

The pilot shivered and then tried to put it out of her mind.

When they reached the dining area, she stood looking at the well-worn table, with its homelike touches and its mismatched chairs. Wash remembered all the happy meals that had been shared there, as Kaylee went on about how everyone usually ate together.

"Sometimes it's loud, sometimes it ain't," she said with a cheery smile, "but it's almost always a good time. Like eatin' with family. 'Course, when you're out in the black as much as we are, crew is family."

Wash felt a pang of sadness, thinking about Zoe and the family she had wanted so badly to start. She had pushed so hard against it, but Zoe had finally begun to win her over. She had even started thinking about what it would be like to raise a son or daughter and show them how to fly.

Then the Alliance started pushing harder for River. Then came Miranda, and then came Wash dead -- and Zoe's hopes for a baby went with him.

Kaylee saw the pain flit across Linda's face, and immediately thought, 'Oh, no what did I say?'

She reached out and touched the new pilot on her arm.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her voice full of concern.

Wash felt a tear roll down her face, then another one. "Just thinking about family," she said, her voice trembling. "I lost mine recently. Sure would be nice to find another one."

"Well, once the captain says yes, you'll have one here," Kaylee said firmly, taking Linda into her arms and giving her a hug. "I could always use another sister."

Suddenly the whole situation landed on Wash's back with an almost audible thump -- everything that had happened to her since Chiang pushed her into Linda's body down at the Crash and Burn. Seeing how Zoe felt about her now, trying to get used to being female, her whole past life gone -- it all just caught up with her, and tears just started flowing from her eyes. She did everything she could to hold it all back, but the crying quickly turned to sobs, and Kaylee just hugged her until it finally wound down.

"Okay now?" the mechanic asked, letting the new girl loose. Wash just nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed. Kaylee smiled. "You must have had a whole lot of sad in you to make you just start bawlin' like that."

Wash nodded again. "I did, and I'm sorry." She sniffled a little and rubbed her eyes. "Thanks a lot, Kaylee. I feel so silly."

Kaylee shook her head. "Oh, don't go worryin' about a few tears. A girl needs a good cry sometimes. And keeping you company while you cry is a sister thing." She patted Wash on the arm. "I thought I'd get a head start on being yours."

The pilot gave her a quizzical look, and Kaylee grinned. "I'm thinkin' the captain's gonna give you that pilot job if I've gotta give him puppy eyes for a week straight. You, girl, need a family, and we need you. So come on, let me show you where you're gonna stay. It was my old room before I moved in with Simon."

The mechanic stopped and turned. "But before we head out, you deserve to know why Zoe's treatin' you so mean. I need to tell you about Wash -- the man who used to fly this boat. He was a great pilot, and a good friend." She took a deep breath. "And he was also . . . Zoe's husband."

###

Wash stood in the doorway to the cockpit, staring at the place she used to call home. Kaylee had run off to find the captain, to see if he was ready for Linda's "maiden voyage" piloting Serenity . Was wasn't even sure she was ready, but she wanted to be back at those controls, and she needed to be out in the black.

'I need something familiar,' she thought, moving slowly towards her old flight station. 'After all I've been through, I need the feel of Serenity slicing through atmo. Shake the dust off my boots and touch the sky again.'

Wash touched the control panel, and a wave of longing moved through her, almost bringing the tears back again. She blinked them back, and then she saw what she never thought she'd see, so many months after the crash.

Two plastic dinosaurs, standing right where she left them so long ago, with a few plastic palm trees.

Her dinosaurs.

The tears threatened to fall again, as she reached out to touch the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Just as the tips of her fingers touched it, a voice came from above.

"Don't even think about playing with them, 'girlfriend,'" it said, the smile in its tone coming through loud and clear. "That's a 'dead' giveaway, don’t you think?"

Wash looked up to see River perched on an overhead girder, grinning from ear to ear. She lowered herself slowly to the deck next to the secondary console, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

"You know you need to be careful, 'Linda,'" she said playfully. "You don't want anything coming out in the 'wash,' right?"

Slowly, what River had been saying sunk in, and Wash's mouth dropped open. 'She knows! She knows it's me!'

"Of course I know who you are." River's eyes twinkled as she looked at the pilot. "You're family."

Then, without warning, River stepped forward, threw her arms around the new girl, and gave her a big hug. After a second of confusion, Wash returned it as best she knew how, and she felt River stand on tiptoe and give her a small kiss on the cheek.

"Welcome home, Hoe-bann," she whispered, still smiling. "It's good to have you back."

Chapter 3 -- Boarding Pass

Wash pulled back from their hug just enough to look into River's eyes. "Will I regret asking you how you knew?"

"After what you've been through, I doubt you'd be surprised," she replied with a smile. "You know I see things others don't. Mal calls me a 'reader,' and he's partly right. For all of the 'Linda Wehr' stuff flowing through your head, I can see you're still you where it counts."

"I think Zoe would disagree." Wash threw her a grin as River broke the hug and wandered back to the secondary flight station, her movements almost like a dance. "Some of the best parts of me never made it through baggage claim when I checked in on this crazy flight."

"I meant your soul, Sah Gwa." She curled her whole body up in the chair like a cat and peered at Wash with eyes that knew too much -- and weren't afraid to let you see it. "I think Zoe would agree that's the most important part of you."

"If she knew it was in here, maybe." Wash sighed. "But if she gives me another look like she just scraped me off her shoe, I'll start crying all over again." She lowered herself cautiously into her own chair, feeling how her hips met the seat and balanced uneasily. "Maybe it's the stress, but I haven't cried this much since . . . well, since never."

"You have a lot to deal with right now," River said, as still as a statue. "This can't be easy for you. Part of the problem is that you're dealing with a whole new set of hormones, in a body you're not used to. The other part is, you've always been a strong personality. After everything that's happened to you, you're still you inside."

"And this is a bad thing?" Unconsciously, Wash bit her bottom lip, and River hid the smile that threatened to creep out. 'Gods, she looks so cute when she does that. Poor Wash.'

"Yes, it is," she said softly. "You can't afford to cling too tightly to what you were, Wash. You have to change, to do the job they sent you here to do."

Wash went pale. "How did you know I was sent?"

River gave her the "how can you doubt me" look -- something Wash had seen a thousand times before. "I can hear you thinking, remember? You've been cursing someone named Chiang in the back of your head ever since you came on board, and I've caught pieces of your previous conversations with him. I know you're here to save everyone -- and that you came back just for that. Pretty brave, fly boy."

She unfolded herself from the chair and stepped up on the console, walking among the controls with a dancer's precision. "But with the brave choice comes a price. You need to learn to be Linda as well as Wash in order to do what you were sent to do. That's not going to happen unless you let go of some of what you were and accept what you've become."

"Are you kidding? This body reminds me every time I take a step." Wash looked down at herself, but couldn't see past her chest. She shuddered. "Believe me, I know what I am now."

"Not nearly as much as you should, 'girlfriend.'" River cocked her head, then held up a hand and performed a perfect back flip that left her standing in front of the second console. Wash looked confused, and the younger girl smiled.

"Company coming, 'Linda,'" she whispered, putting a finger to her lips. "I think it's time to prove what a great pilot you are all over again. We'll talk more later."

An instant later, Wash heard Kaylee's voice coming down the corridor. "I went from one end of this ship to the other, and I find you both in the Captain's cabin, not twenty feet from the cockpit. What were you all doin' in there, anyway?"

Kaylee went through the cockpit door, followed by Mal and Jayne together. Wash felt her anger began to rise again, and stood up as they walked in. Jayne shot a look at Mal, and Mal nodded.

'What the hell was that about?' Wash wondered inside, and when Jayne turned to look at her, she almost gasped.

He looked . . . sorry.

"I . . . I juss wanted to tell ya I'm sorry for the way I acted in the cargo bay," Jayne stammered. He looked everywhere in the cockpit but at her, and Wash realized that, since he was taller than she was, Jayne was doing everything he could NOT to look down at her cleavage. "I didn't treat you right before, and I'm sorry. I ain't gonna do it again." His eyes flickered over to Mal, and Wash saw the captain nod, just a fraction of an inch. Jayne fidgeted a second, then stuck out his hand.

"Let's start over," he said, staring straight into her eyes. "Welcome aboard."

Over Jayne's shoulder, Kaylee looked like she'd been hit by lightning. Wash looked down at Jayne's hand, not sure what to do. But the mercenary seemed sincere, and she'd been brought up to be polite, so she reached out and took his hand, then gave it a firm shake.

"Thank you," she said with a smile. "Apology accepted."

Jayne broke into a big grin, and pumped her hand enthusiastically.

"Thank you!" he said, and didn't stop until Mal laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, just a little. Then Jayne let go of the pilot and took a step back.

There was an awkward silence.

"So," Mal said, his lip twitching as if trying to hold back a grin. "Kaylee tells me you're ready to show us what you can do."

"Yes, sir, Captain sir!" Wash didn't bother to hold back her smile. She dropped into the pilot's chair as if it had been made for her, and started flicking switches. "Are we going somewhere special, or is it once around the park and home in time for supper?"

Mal couldn't hold back his own smile in the face of the girl's enthusiasm, and he shook his head. "We've got a pickup on Yoshimasa's Skyplex. One of the crew you haven't met yet." He bent his head and scratched his ear, slightly embarrassed. "Well, not crew exactly. But family, anyway."

"She's a registered Companion," Kaylee piped up, "lives and works in one of Serenity's shuttles. I had to overhaul both of 'em -- so many parts needed replacin', they'd fall right outta the sky if you looked at 'em funny -- so we dropped her there to meet a client."

"Any problems with havin' a Companion aboard, Linda?" Mal looked down at the pilot, still deep in pre-launch prep.

"No, Captain," she replied, giving him a quick smile before going back to the checklist. "A Companion is just another professional, and if you say she's family, then I'm sure she's good people. Like everybody else I've met here so far." Jayne smiled, just a little.

"What are you doing in that chair?" Zoe's voice cut across the cockpit like a razor ripping through a bolt of silk, and Wash sighed.

"Well, almost everybody," she said under her breath, but Mal was close enough to hear.

"She's about to fly us over to pick up Inara at the Skyplex." Mal said, turning his head and giving Zoe a look she thought he only reserved for Jayne. "Is there a problem, Zoe?"

Zoe pulled up short. The captain's voice was colder than she'd ever heard it, and it took her only a fraction of a second to figure out the why. With a shock, she realized that Kaylee was right. She was disappointing the Captain. And she didn't like the way it made her feel at all.

Everything she had been doing was making his job harder instead of easier, and that's not what a first mate is supposed to do. Let alone a friend.

'And Wash, too,' she thought with an inner sigh. 'Wherever he is, he must be disappointed in me. He wouldn't even treat Jayne the way I've been treating her.' She took a deep breath. 'I've been a real jien ren, and that's a fact. Maybe it's time I stopped.'

"No, sir," she said aloud, deliberately making her voice warm and friendly. "No problem at all. I'm looking forward to seeing Linda fly."

The pilot turned, surprised to the point of speechlessness. Zoe looked back at the girl, sitting there in her husband's chair. That Linda should be so shocked at such a small kindness on Zoe's part made the woman feel even more ashamed of the way she had behaved.

Wash knew something in Mal's voice had made Zoe re-think what she had been doing to the new girl, and she silently thanked the captain. Then she looked into her ex-wife's eyes, and her own eyes filled with gratitude.

"Thank you," she said simply. "I only hope I can live up to the pilot who came before me. Kaylee told me how much he meant to you all, and how good he was. I know it's hard to see me in his chair. But I want you all to know . . . I can fly this ship for you, and be a part of this crew if the Captain says. But I know I can never replace him. And that's the way it should be."

Zoe could see the truth in the young girl's eyes across the compartment, and her heart softened. She looked back at the young pilot and gave her a small smile. Wash remembered that smile from their time together, just yesterday and yet so long ago -- the smile that said "I've been an idiot, but I see that now, and we'll just move on from here, 'kay?"

"Sorry," Zoe said softly, and her eyes shifted from Linda to Mal. "I'm sorry."

Mal gave her a smile, and she felt that knot in her chest ease up, just a little.

"What's past is past," he said, "and no harm done."

He turned to the pilot. "Call for clearance and let's see what you've got, Linda. We're burnin' daylight and the black is calling."

"Yes, sir, Captain, sir," Wash replied, heating up the comm and reaching for the mike. "We'll be offworld so fast, it'll take a minute before the dirt even knows we're gone."

###

Linda handled the ship like the professional she was, dealing with spaceport control and leaving atmo with an ease that impressed everyone, even Zoe. The orbital shift and reorientation for the Skyplex was as smooth as anything they'd ever seen Wash do, and when they received clearance and slid into their docking port, it was pretty clear Serenity would have a new pilot before they headed off into the black again.

Soon everyone had left the cockpit, heading for the cargo bay door. Mal turned and gave the pilot a smile.

"Welcome to the crew," he said. "That was mighty fine flyin' just now."

"Thank you, Captain." Wash fairly glowed inside. 'I got the job!'

The captain grinned. "Don't thank me yet. Now comes the hardest part of the job -- stayin' behind. Most everyone has somethin' they need to get done here on the station, but somebody's got to stay with the ship when she's not movin', and that usually means you. Sometimes, we might need to make a quick exit from an . . . uncomfortable situation, and so it's always a good idea to have you here. Any problem with that?"

"No, sir," Wash said, shutting down a few nonessential systems and sitting back in her chair. "I'll keep Serenity company while you're gone."

"Good girl. Won't be long." With a smile, the captain turned and left Wash alone, wondering why she suddenly felt like a border collie.

"In some ways, the Captain sees the world in simpler terms," River said from behind her, causing her heart to skip a beat. "Women are girls or ladies just as easily as they are women or women folk, although he'll make an effort to accommodate you if it bothers you too much." Wash turned and Rived smiled. "Of course, for you, every term for what you are now bothers you. A lot. You've been doing your best not to show it, but I can see it in your head."

"Don’t you have something to do on the Skyplex?" Wash asked, not anxious to continue the earlier discussion.

"Nothing as important as I need to do here," River replied, reaching out to touch the pilot's arm. "We need to talk."

Wash pushed herself to her feet. "We probably do, but I'm not sure I can deal with it right now."

She walked into the corridor. The room closest to the cockpit was hers now. She stopped and looked at the faded sign on her door -- Kaylee's name in a girlish hand, with flowers and such. It made her smile, just for a minute.

"Kaylee could probably make a sign for you." River had come up behind her, speaking softly. "If you're uncomfortable with adding all the feminine frills and such. She'd do it just to make you feel welcome, 'Linda.' You know that."

Wash pushed the door in and climbed the built-in ladder down into her room. It still smelled just like Kaylee -- all soap and engine grease, with a touch of strawberry. There were a few things Kaylee had left here, probably until the room was needed by a new crewmember. Over on the far wall, Wash could see that dress she wore to the shindig -- the one all covered in ruffles of one sort or another. She remembered how happy Kaylee had been to get that dress, and to be escorted by Mal in his fine suit. The thought made her smile.

Wash turned and suddenly found herself face to face . . . with herself. She stared into a full-length mirror on the wall near the ladder. The glimpse of her new body in the mirrors over the bar at the Crash and Burn had been brief -- partly because she was walking towards the exit, and partly because she didn't want to look too closely at what she had become.

This girl . . . this woman was beautiful. It took Wash by surprise -- the mane of red curling hair, the bright green eyes, the full red lips. Her eyes followed the lines of her new form, and she turned sideways, fascinated as Linda's reflection followed her every move.

'That's me,' she thought, watching her reflection spin around slowly. 'Or rather, that's not me. I look at her and I want to buy her a drink. But where the hell am I in that mirror?' She stared, looking deep into those unfamiliar eyes, and shook her head. 'Gone, now. Almost gone.'

"You're not gone," River said, sliding down the ladder into Wash's room. "I told you, you're still you where it counts."

"But I'm not me," Wash snapped, sadness and frustration turning to anger. She turned toward River and pointed at the mirror. "I'm her! And I don't know how to be her! I've never been a 'her' before, River, and I never wanted to be one. But here I am, a real live 'her' -- and a sexy 'her', too! So how am I supposed to 'accept' this? How am I supposed to 'accept' being something I'm not?"

River sighed. "This is what I wanted to talk with you about. You do pretty well in front of the captain and the crew, but I can feel it eating at you all the time, under the surface. You're trying to deny what already is."

"Deep inside, you feel like being a woman is wrong," she said sadly. "Or a punishment. And you're trying to fight it every step of the way. Or ignore it, which is worse -- because in the end, you can't."

Wash shook her head. "I'm not saying that being a woman is bad. I love women. The 'Verse has always been a more interesting place because it's got women in it. It's just -- it's just not me! I just can't get my head around it. I mean, I'm not a woman . . . but I am. I'm in here, inside this body. It's like wearing someone else's pressure suit. I can feel it, all around me, every move, every breath -- but it's not me. And I can't take it off, not ever." She looked at River in frustration. "It's not me!"

The younger girl eyed her critically, running through Wash's thoughts and trying to figure out where to do next. She nodded and stood up.

"Come here." Confused, Wash stood up slowly and took a step towards River. "Okay. You trust me, don't you?" The new girl nodded, and River smiled. "Good. Now, listen. I'm going to ask you to do something, and I want you to do it immediately, without thinking about it, okay?"

Wash nodded again, and River stared into her eyes and said, "Take off your jacket and open the top of your flight suit."

The pilot shrugged off the jacket and threw it on a chair, then pulled the zipper on her flight suit down to her waist. The gap revealed pale white skin and a pale green bra. Wash did her best not to look. River nodded. 'About how I imagined she'd react,' she thought, keeping her face expressionless.

"Take your arms out of the sleeves." Wash complied, revealing slender arms with a touch of well-formed muscle. The flight suit bunched around her waist, and River saw her nipples rise through the fabric of the bra from the cool air.

"Now," she said, never breaking eye contact. "Take your breasts in both hands and hold them."

Shocked, Wash reached up and laid both hands on top of her chest. She barely touched herself, and her hands shook. River shook her head.

"Hold them, 'Linda,'" she growled. "Touch them the way Wash would have touched them, if he didn't belong to Zoe." When the new girl hesitated, River barked at her like a drill instructor. "DO IT!"

Startled out of her own inaction, Wash cupped both breasts through her bra and gave them a squeeze. The realness of them . . . the feeling in her hands and the feeling on her chest simultaneously freaked her out more than she expected it to. With a muffled "eeep!" she let them go and threw her hands in the air, falling back onto her new bunk.

River giggled, and then became solemn when Wash flashed her a confused and slightly irritated look.

"Now that is just the sort of thing I'm talking about," she said. "You touched yourself the way a man would touch a woman, but you felt it . . . as a woman . . . at the same time. You felt something you never felt before, and it scared you." She smiled. "Then when you realized those were your breasts you were squeezing, you let them go like they were electrified . . . or worse."

"Hey!" Wash raised her eyebrows. "These aren't the first breasts I've touched, you know." It surprised her that her tone had become so defensive. She took a deep breath and calmed down. "It's just . . . I've never had a pair attached to my chest before."

"And there it is again," River said, and reached up to touch her own chest. "That distance. The denial. They're not 'attached,' jei mei. They're part of you -- a natural extension of your body. But you don't see it that way, and that's the heart of your problem." Her eyes narrowed, and her lip twitched. "You need to get with the program, girl. They're your breasts now. That's your body."

Wash sat there on the edge of the bunk, her flight suit around her waist, chest heaving. She stared at River, and the younger girl sighed.

"The fact is, you're not stuck in there," she continued, her voice gentle. "Or trapped in there, or forced to wear that skin. You chose to come back and save everyone. You knew what it would mean to come back, and I know it's hard, but you chose to be here, in that body. And now you need to get used to it -- not just so you can do what you came to do, but so you can live and be happy."

River sat down next to the girl and put an arm around her shoulders. "Being a woman can be all manner of fun, Wash. It's got its downside, I know. But so does being a man. Once you get past this part, I know you can be happy. And I'll help you every step of the way, I promise."

There was a long silence as Wash considered River's words. Then she spoke.

"Couldn't you just leave me alone? Just let me get used to it at my own speed?" The plaintive tone in Wash's voice made it clear she knew that River was right, but still had one last push in her before surrendering to the inevitable. "I promise I'll try, really."

River shook her head. "The longer you ignore what you are now, the harder it will be for you to move forward later."

Wash sat on the edge of the bunk, staring straight ahead. She honestly didn't know what to do next. The younger girl gave her a small squeeze and the pilot looked over.

"Would you like me to help you? Tell you how to accept this? Maybe even embrace it?" After a moment, Wash nodded, and River smiled.

"Good." She thought for a moment. "Ever go swimming in a cold lake?"

The pilot shook her head, and River smiled. "There are two ways to get used to the water. You wade in slowly, taking your time. Or you jump right in, all at once. But you're trying to have it both ways. You're still trying to wade in slowly, but you don't realize you're already in it up to your neck. You are Linda, Wash. The rest of you just hasn't caught up yet."

"What you have to do," she said simply, "may be the hardest thing you've ever done -- besides saying yes to Chiang and coming back to save us. It means jumping in and facing the truth head on, and that's . . . that's always hard. But when it's over, you'll know who you really are, and you'll start down the road to being the person you need to be. I'm pretty sure it'll be okay. The Wash I knew back when . . . the one I can still see in there . . . I know he could handle it. I think you can, too. Are you listening?"

Wash nodded again, and River took a deep breath.

"This is the first chance you've had to be alone since you woke up as Linda. I want you to stay here in your room and take off every stitch of clothes, right down to bare skin." The pilot's eyes widened, and she shook her head. River continued on, her arm still around Wash's shoulders. "I want you to make yourself completely naked, so there's nothing left for you to hide behind. Then I want you to look at yourself in that mirror there -- and see the truth."

River turned to face the pilot, and Wash met her eyes with a fear River felt as well as saw. "And when you've seen the truth, I want you to reach out . . . and touch it."

Wash gave her an odd look, and River grinned and gave her a push. "No, jei mei. That's not what I mean at all. I see there's still more than enough man in there to push this experience into the gutter." She sighed. "I know you're not ready for what you thought I was suggesting, but I want you to do whatever it takes to make what you are real to you."

"You need to get it into your head that the girl in the mirror is really, truly, physically you. You need to feel that this body belongs to you. So touch yourself. Feel what it means to be you, now. Pull your hair, pinch a tit . . . or two." She smiled. "Wiggle your hips. Dance a jig. Do whatever you need to do to convince yourself that this woman --" River put her hand gently on Wash's chest. "THIS woman -- is who you truly are now. Dohn-mah?" Wash hesitated, and River looked into her eyes. "I know you can do this, Wash. You do, too."

The new girl nodded, and River smiled.

"I'll mind the ship. You . . . get acquainted. And when you've accepted the truth . . . I'll know. And I'll come back." River stood up, then bent over and kissed her on the forehead. "It'll be okay, jei mei. You'll see."

She turned, walked over to the ladder and climbed up. She didn't look back.

###

"Don't much care for Skyplexes myself," Mal said, viewing the masses of tourists with well-earned suspicion. "Bein' in any sorta station puts too many locked doors between me and my boat, and nothin' but space to breathe outside if there's a pressin' need to avoid Alliance attention. The crowds are a mite unsettlin', too. Too much like cattle for me not to worry 'bout a stampede."

"True enough, Sir." Zoe kept her eyes scanning the teeming crowds near the docking port, looking for Inara. "Still, so many people milling about just means we can use them for cover if we have to. It's not all bad, bein' here for a spell. Kaylee and Simon are getting the fuel and supplies we need before we head out again, and Jayne . . . " She looked over at the mercenary, checking out the front window of the weapons merchant across from the port. "Just why is he here again, Captain?"

"Partly because I wanted Linda to get used to being left behind alone." Mal took a few steps to the wall and put his back against it. "If it's gonna be a problem, I want to know now, before we go back to Santo and pick up her things. Dipping in and out of atmo costs us coin, and if she can't handle standard ship procedure, best know it now so we can send her back by shuttle."

Zoe gave him a measured look. "So you took Jayne along and left River . . . to keep Linda company. While she learns how to wait. All alone."

"All right." The captain sighed. "Truth be told, I took Jayne so he wouldn't say or do anything he'd regret as far as Linda is concerned. And River just wanted to stay behind. I ain't complainin' none 'bout that. Even though the Alliance doesn't have an Operative chasin' her anymore, she still manages to find her share of trouble from time to time."

Zoe opened her mouth to protest, and Mal raised a hand. "Not sayin' it's her fault, and I'm the first to admit she's been more than useful any number of times we needed an army to back us up. Odds seem to tip mightily in our favor when she gets into a fight on our side. But we've got a pick-up on Boros that we're already almost late for, and dealing with the local authorities because we got into a tussle here is only gonna slow us down."

"I'm thinkin' River's learned some restraint lately," Zoe said with a smile. "We ain't been in a knock-down on her account in more than a month. So I can't help thinkin' this is mostly about Jayne . . . and Linda."

Mal's eyes narrowed. "And I'm thinkin' you're getting' way too sharp for me to ever hide somethin' from. You'd better look to that, Zoe. Sometimes folk like to keep their secrets."

"Yes, Sir," she said with a smile. "I will keep that in mind."

The captain shook his head. "That bein' said, I guess I should tell you what's goin' on. I reckon you'll figure it out soon enough."

"Yes, Sir," Zoe said, her smile becoming a grin. "I probably will."

###

Jayne stared through the window at a wide range of implements of destruction, his eyes pouring over the displays with a small smile on his face.

'Girls like presents,' he thought, 'even I know that. And if she's gonna be part of this crew, Linda's gonna need a weapon someday.' He snorted out loud. 'Anyone who's ever been parta one of Mal's plans knows that. Hell, Wash picked up a gun at Nysska's, rescuing Mal. Book and Kaylee, too -- hell, she even managed to use it, back when we took on the Reavers.'

The mercenary moved along the window toward the door, looking closely at everything as he passed. 'I ain't any good at figgering out girly stuff, like clothes or jewels or such. But if there's one thing I know, it's guns. Well, that and knives. 'Splosives, too.' Jayne's eye fell on a Callahan Minaret 71-R, and he stopped. His smile turned into a grin.

'Now that there's the right gun for a lady,' he thought. 'Small automatic with a big punch. Sixteen-shot clip, explosive bullets standard, with three extra clips and a custom shoulder holster. That and a few boxes of ammo oughta make her see I care more about her than I do 'bout getting' sexed.'

'Back in his cabin, Mal said it's too soon for a present.' He nodded to himself. 'Hell, it makes sense. After all, I only just got her not to hate me. But we'll be out in the black for a while soon, and I sure can't buy her somethin' out there, now can I?'

He checked his cred balance in his head and smiled. 'So later on, when she needs something' that goes boom and does some serious harm, good ol' Jayne will be there with just the right somethin', wrapped in pink paper with a nice red bow. And if she don't know how to use it, I kin teach her.'

Jayne stopped and thought a second. 'Maybe Callahan makes a matchin' throwin' knife? Girls like stuff that matches. I think 'Nara called it "accessorizin'."'

He slipped into the weapons store with a chuckle. Things finally seemed to be going his way.

###

River felt Wash crying before she heard it, and after a last instrument check, she rose and headed for Kaylee's old room. By the time she made it down the ladder, the tears had stopped, but a thin edge of sadness still reached across to River from Wash.

The pilot herself sat there on the edge of the bunk, naked except for a pair of dark green bikini panties. She held the matching bra in her hand and stared at it, as if the undergarment held some dark and terrible secret that only she could see.

Wash looked up at River, a small smile on her tear-streaked face.

"Guess I know who I am now," she said, her voice trembling just a little. "Still feels strange, and that's a fact. But it's the only body I've got, and saying it isn't so won't change what's true." She took a deep breath, then grinned. "Okay. I can be a man about it, and admit when I've been wrong. I'm a woman, and it's not the end of the world."

"No," River replied with a smile of her own. "It's not. Just a new beginning for you, Hoe-bann. First steps to a new life."

Wash shook her head. "Call me Linda, River. Hoban doesn't live here anymore."

"Maybe not," the younger girl said, sitting down on the bunk beside her and folding her legs under her. "But Wash is still in there. And still family."

"Wash may be in here, but it's Linda's outside getting goose bumps. It's pretty gorram cold down here. Feels like Kaylee turned the heat down low when she moved in with Simon." The pilot turned to River and held out the bra. "Can you tell me how to put this on? I've had lots of experience getting them off, but I can't figure out exactly how to do it in reverse."

As River took the bra from her, Wash kept talking to hide her embarrassment. "It's funny. Linda should know how to do this, but I think maybe we left this particular skill back on Santo."

River reached into Wash's head, hunting for where the elusive memory was hiding. When she found it, she touched some of the memories around it and smiled.

"Mom took you to Dunlap's Frillies when you were thirteen," she whispered. "Got your first training bra, Missy Holloway made fun of you in the locker room at soccer practice . . ." River closed her eyes, breathed deep. "Mmmmmm . . . Prom night . . . Bobby Hamilton handing that lace-trimmed strapless number back to you after that shiny time in the back of his skimmer . . ."

"HEY! Give me that!" Wash's face blushed bright red as Linda's memories rushed through her. She snatched the bra back from River and slipped into it like she'd been doing it all her life. The younger girl watched as Wash had her flight suit halfway on before she realized what had happened. The pilot stopped, the cold forgotten.

"How did you do that?"

River took a deep breath. "I found where the memory was hiding in your head, and accessed some of the memories around it. Since memory is essentially holographic, I figured the other memories would trigger an autonomic response -- the sense and muscle memory a girl gets after putting on a bra a few thousand times." She shrugged. "It worked."

"Oh yeah, it worked all right." Wash grumbled as she pulled her flight suit up the rest of the way and slid her arms into the sleeves. "Too well, it turns out. I also got to remember a lot more of what Linda did on her prom night than I really wanted to -- at least until I get more used to being a she."

River ducked her head to hide a grin. "Sorry, jei mei."

Wash sat back down on the bunk to put her socks and boots back on. "No you're not . . . mei mei. I know you better than that. You had to push a little, because you like to play. But that's okay. You got me where I need to be to heal, and I love you for it." She turned to face River. "Just . . . don't try to push me down that particular road too fast, donh-mah? Right now, I still remember being Zoe's man. Being anybody's woman -- that's going to take time."

The pilot stopped, and her eyes went distant. "Still, Linda did have a better time on her prom night than I did on mine." A smile touched her lips, just for a second, and was gone.

She stood up and turned towards River, hands on her hips. "So how do I look?"

River gave her the once-over, and a wide grin. "Sister, you make that flight suit look good!" Wash grinned back, but then River reached down and gave the zipper tab a flip. "You might want to zip that up a little bit more, though, in case any of the boys come back early."

###

"What d'ya mean you don't do gift wrappin'?"

Jayne snarled at the weapons merchant, a dapper gray-haired gentleman in a dark grey New Londinum suit.

"Apologies . . . sir," the man behind the counter replied. "But weapons are not usually considered . . . gift items. As such, we are not prepared to gift wrap the Callahan Minaret and accessories for your . . . lady friend."

"Huh. For what I paid, you should deliver 'em in a gorilla suit, along with a singin' gift card and a buncha balloons." The mercenary scowled at the stack on the counter -- the polished oak box with the Callahan inside, a second matching box for the extra clips, a smaller box for the matchin' throwin' knife, the boxes of ammo, and the shoulder holster. "I ain't givin' this all to her right away, and I want it to be special when I do. I need it wrapped, dohn-mah?"

The merchant thought for a moment and then smiled. "The lingerie store across the way does gift wrapping, I'm sure. Perhaps they would accommodate you for a small fee?"

"Lon-jer-ray?" Jayne peered across the spoke to the opposite side. "Oh, you mean the store with all the girly underwear in the window?"

"Just so, sir."

The mercenary chewed on that for a while. He didn't want her to even think he was gettin' her "unmentionables" for a present. That'd be a damned fool thing to do, and that's no lie. If the wrappin' even hinted at somethin' like that, he knew she'd think he was tryin' to treat her like a whore again, to get her into his bunk. She'd be terrible angry, and he'd be right back where he started. Jayne shook his head.

'This courtin' stuff's gonna give me a headache I'll never git rid of,' he thought sourly. 'My one good idea shot all to hell because I can't get it wrapped.' He sighed, and turned to the merchant.

"Give a call over to the lon-jer-ray store and see if they've got plain boxes and plain wrappin' paper -- nothing with the store name on it," he said gruffly. "But still nice!"

The gentleman nodded and reached for the interstore comm.

'I juss hope I get this done afore 'Nara gets here,' Jayne grumbled to himself. 'If'n make Mal wait, he's gonna wanta know why.' He watched Mal and Zoe lookin' for the companion in the crowd. 'What's takin' her so long anyway?'

###

"I'm curious," Simon said, watching Kaylee prowl through the marketplace.

"What about, ing jyun?" She smiled and picked up an apple from a crate of apples. The mechanic seemed to weigh it in her hand, then lifted it and took a deep breath before reluctantly setting it back down again.

"How does restocking the ship's food supply fall into your job description exactly?"

"Well, food is just another kind of fuel, I reckon," Kaylee replied, moving down the line to add some of the less exotic (and less expensive) vegetables and grains to the order pad. "And there ain't anyone on board who seems to like food as much as I do. Nobody's ever complained about the things I buy to keep the kitchen stocked, so the job's still mine." She grinned. "'Besides, I like shoppin' -- almost as much as eatin'."

"Well, I like the new pilot." Simon put his arm around the mechanic as they headed towards the clerk. She snuggled up into him and put her head on his chest. "She seems nice, and she does know how to fly. Do you think she knows how to cook? Be nice to take Jayne off the cooking rotation. I'm almost tempted to do it anyway, to protect the health of the crew."

Kaylee shrugged. "If she doesn't, I can teach her. If she wants to."

"Did your mother teach you?"

"I made a right nuisance of myself until she did. I like to eat, and knowin' how to cook is the fastest way to get yourself a meal. When you think about it, puttin' a meal together ain't much different from puttin' an engine together. It's all about the parts, and what you do with 'em."

Simon stopped and kissed her forehead. "That sounds suspiciously like something else you like to do, chin ai der -- putting parts together. I wonder if all the things you like are related that way." His hand reached around and gave her hip a squeeze.

The mechanic slapped his chest. "Simon!" she hissed, blushing wildly. "We're in public!"

"Really?" The doctor looked down at her, surprised. "Do you like that, too? I mean, putting parts together -- in public?" He lowered his voice. "I saw a huge bin of spinach back there that looked pretty darned . . . comfortable."

As Kaylee's eyes widened, Simon lowered his mouth to hers. Staring into her eyes, he whispered, "Maybe we could make . . . a salad."

The mechanic squealed and wriggled in his arms. "You . . . you tease!"

He grinned and kissed the tip of her nose. "Guilty as charged, ma'am. We'll see how good a tease I am when we get back to the ship."

Kaylee stood on her toes and kissed her man full on the lips. "I've created a monster," she whispered with a smile. "It took me forever to get your engine started, and now I can't turn you off." She kissed him again. "Not that I really want to."

"That bin of spinach is still there." Simon stole another kiss. "If you can't wait, I mean."

"I think I can hold on 'til we get back to the ship." Kaylee pushed herself out of his arms. "I . . . put parts together . . . in a spinach patch once, back home. Got powerful itchy . . . eventually."

She walked over to the clerk and handed him the order pad. "Order delivery to port 13B, Serenity. Departure oh three hundred station time. Bill ship's account, authorization Kaywinnet Leigh Frye, ship's mechanic."

The clerk nodded, already bent over his terminal to enter the order and begin processing. Kaylee turned around to get another look at Simon, and found herself staring into the chest of a large, wide man. She tilted her head back, and he grinned down at her, exposing a fair number of missing teeth.

"Looks like the food will be getting' back to your ship afore you do, missy," the man mountain rumbled, grabbing her arm. "But don't fret none. Least we got yer boyfriend here to keep yer company."

She looked over to see Simon, his arm firmly in the grip of another man as large as the first.

"Well," she said with a weak smile, "isn't that nice of you?"

###

River and Wash were back in the cockpit. The pilot had just waved Santo Control and ordered Linda's personal items and luggage shipped up on the next shuttle, so they would be here before Serenity's posted departure time.

"No sense dipping back into the gravity well just to pick up my bags. Every pilot knows you have to watch how many times you touch dirt. One time too many and you might wind up losing the sky." Wash reached over her head and stretched her entire body -- hard enough to make her back crack.

"Getting comfy in there, 'Linda'?" River smiled, and Wash blushed just a little and nodded.

"As a matter of fact, yes. It feels more like home every second. I feel . . . good. Lighter and stronger than I used to, even when Wash was a whole lot younger." She leaned forward over the instrument panel and felt her chest shift slightly with the movement. "It's kinda scary, really. I wouldn't think I'd be getting used to it so quickly."

"Well, it is your body, after all," River replied, "as much as you didn't want to admit it before. You were fighting it so hard, you didn't feel the positive aspects of being years younger and more physically fit."

"Oh, but I'm sure those benefits will be offset sometime in the next few weeks." Wash closed her eyes and sighed. "I am soooo not looking forward to becoming the Bride of Frankenstein one week out of every month for the next thirty years."

"It affects different women different ways, jei mei," River said. "For you, it could be a minor inconvenience -- or it could wind up being a major pain. We won't know until it happens." She grinned. "Besides, there are ways to avoid it completely, you know. Kaylee hasn't had one in months. She's been wearing a patch to put it off for a while -- didn't want to stop playing with Simon if she could help it."

Wash blushed, and turned her attention back to the console. A light started flashing red, followed by an insistent beeping. Wash leaned forward and stared at the offending light.

"Huh," she said, more than a little curious. "We've got a loss of pressure on the secondary access airlock hatch. We're docked via the cargo bay, and the main alarm would have sounded if the airlock had been activated. I wonder what . . ." Wash looked up to find River's eyes focused elsewhere, her mouth hanging open, and a chill ran down her spine.

"Intruders," she breathed, tilting her head as if listening. "They want to take the ship!"

###

"You're teachin Jayne how to court a girl?" Zoe cocked her head and gave the captain a dubious look.

"I am," Mal replied, finding her expression a little disturbing. "Is there a problem?"

"No, Sir," Zoe said quickly, "none at all. Just wonderin' if it's wise for you to be teachin' Jayne somethin' like that when your past experience shows a certain . . . lack of success in that area."

"Hey, now! That ain't fair!" Mal pushed himself off of the wall. "Maybe I ain't the smoothest man in the 'Verse when it comes to talking up a woman, but I'm way ahead of Jayne in the courtin' and wooin' department, and that's a fact."

"I can't argue with you there, Sir. But I think it's fair to say that a block of wood would have a better chance of getting a woman into a committed relationship than Jayne does."

"Which is exactly why I'm tryin' to help." He sighed, and turned to scan the crowd again. "Where is she? She sent a wave sayin' come get me, and here we are . . . and here she ain't." Mal kept searching, but alarm bells began to ring inside his head. "This don't feel right. Somethin's wrong."

"An astute observation, Captain Reynolds." The voice from behind him made him spin, reaching for his gun but finding only air. He remembered that was still on his boat due to station regulations, and cursed himself for not carrying a back-up. 'Every time I follow the rules, it never goes smooth,' he thought savagely. 'When will I learn just how troublesome the 'Verse can be?'

Adelai Niska stood a few feet away, impeccably dressed in a suit that must have cost more creds than a complete drydock refit of a Firefly-class transport. He seemed none the worse for wear, although Mal could swear there were more lines on his face than there were when last they met.

'Something is indeed wrong . . . for you," he said happily, his thumbs hooked in his vest pockets. "For me, however, the outlook is bright." Two men materialized from the crowds behind him, with Inara neatly held between them. She seemed more angry than frightened, but Mal could see the look behind her eyes that screamed for control. "As you see, I already have your Companion, and in a matter of moments, I will have secured your crew . . . and your ship."

Mal immediately thought of his people, scattered across the station. 'Easy pickings,' he thought bitterly, 'if they ain't expecting a fight.'

"When last we met, your crew did the impossible. They invaded my place of business and took you back from me." He leaned forward and smiled. "But there will be no daring rescue for you this time, Captain. No one to 'save the day.' And this time, when you are completely without friends . . . when hope itself is nothing but a memory. . . well, then, you and I are going to have a long talk . . . about the works of Shan Yu."

Chapter 4 -- Emergency Instructions

"Mal's not answering," Wash said, her fingers playing over the comm system. She moved from crewmember to crewmember, becoming more upset with each missing response. "Zoe either, or Kaylee. Nobody's comms are responding at all. It's like they're being jammed."

"Or we are." River looked at Wash, and she felt a shiver run down her spine. "Try calling Skyplex control again."

After a few abortive attempts, it was pretty clear that someone was keeping Serenity from calling anyone. Wash tried a few more times and then pushed herself away from the panel. "Ta ma de, River! If we're cut off and being boarded, what's happening to everybody else? To Zoe?"

River touched Wash's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Sssssh, jei mei. We don't need comms. I'm a 'reader,' remember? I can find out what's going on. Just give me a few seconds, okay?" She smiled just a little, even though she was more than a little worried herself.

Wash nodded, biting her lip again and settling back in the pilot's seat. 'Damn,' she thought, 'I guess tears aren't the only thing that's close to the surface. Laconic is a hell of a lot harder to pull off than it used to be.'

The younger girl stood there, eyes closed, and let her mind wander. First, she reached out to touch the two who had boarded the ship. Looking through the eyes of the leader, she saw the duo was approaching the kitchen, still dressed in skin suits with weapons drawn. They were merely hired help with specific instructions -- secure the ship and capture the pilot.

River's lip twitched. They thought there was only one person aboard, and cut the number of men hired for the job to make their payoff larger. That almost made it too easy. There was still some time before she had to deal with them, so she moved her perception off across the Skyplex, looking for the missing crew.

The first crewmembers she found were Simon and Kaylee, standing in the marketplace with two large goons standing over them. Angry beyond words, she touched the minds of their captors and discovered that they were also hired help, just following orders. Right now, the instructions were simple -- find Kaylee and Simon and keep them from escaping. They were supposed to receive further orders via short range wave on a special comm unit, but until then, all they were supposed to do was hold onto the doctor and mechanic until they were told what to do next.

River pushed back her anger and centered herself. For a fleeting second, she wondered if she could really kill the two mercenaries with her brain, as she had told Jayne she could all those months ago. 'As much as I'd like to try, I don't have the time to experiment. Right now, Simon and Kaylee are relatively safe. I've got to worry about everyone else, too. I need to find the rest of the crew.'

As River continued her hunt, Wash kept her eye on the intruders. She was tracking their approach using the internal sensor grid. There were missing patches of coverage here and there, but what they did have worked (thanks to Kaylee) -- and it was pretty clear from the incoming data that they were both heading for the cockpit.

'Makes sense,' she reasoned, a slight tinge of panic beginning to creep into the back of her head. 'They're probably here for the pilot, and since I've only just signed on, they think that means River.'

She looked over at the younger girl, her mind clearly off looking for the crew in the Skyplex. As the blips on her screen crept closer, Wash realized that they were getting awfully close, and she wasn't sure what to do. Should she should distract River when she was . . . somewhere else?

"River?" she whispered, half reaching out to touch the girl's arm. When no response came, Wash sighed, straightened her shoulders, and turned towards the door.

'Got to buy her some time,' she thought, a small smile creeping onto her face. 'Okay, Wash. You've always been a good talker. Now's as good a time as any to see if that skill came along for the ride when you changed planes.'

The pilot took a step towards the door and stopped. She could hear two voices echoing down the corridor, both male. A rush of fear flowed through her, along with a flood of Linda's memories -- memories of men. Of being afraid on twilight streets, moving quickly from streetlight to streetlight; of feeling them standing too close on transit strips or in lifts. From fear she moved to indignation -- having men talking down to her, hitting on her -- and suddenly Jayne's behavior in the cargo bay moved front and center, followed by a quick image of Linda's strapless gown on prom night -- and her date's reaction to it.

Wash shook her head and sighed.

'They're men, and you're a woman,' she thought with a grimace. 'There's no denying it anymore. They're probably bigger and stronger than you are -- and they're armed. If you need to keep them from finding River, just talk isn't going to cut it. You've got to use what you've got.'

The pilot pulled the zipper on her flight suit down far enough to show a hint of cleavage, framed by the lace trim on her bra.

"Okay, ladies," she whispered to her chest. "If I can't dazzle them with words, it's up to you to distract them long enough for River to take them down. If we're lucky, we'll all bounce back from this alive."

She gave a ladylike snort, threw back her shoulders, and stepped out into the corridor.

###

"You know," Kaylee said to her own personal man-mountain, "they aren’t going to just let you hold us prisoner in the middle of a crowded market."

"Oh, I dunno, miss," her captor replied with a gap-toothed grin, his New Londinum accent reminding her of Badger back on Persephone. "Looks like nobody seems to much care from where I'm standing. And if they did want to try? Well, Bucky and me, we're right hard to move, ain't we, Bucky?" Simon's escort grunted once. "But they ain't gonna want to try, neither -- not for a pair of strangers, and not against Bucky nor me."

"That's a rather bleak view of humanity, isn't it?" Simon piped up.

"Just how I sees it is all, Doc." Bucky's partner shrugged. "Ye bein' a medical man, right?" Simon nodded, wondering how he knew. "That means ye take care o' people, all philanthropical and such. Maybe ye think better of folks than I do. Me, I just rubbed elbows with too many nutters over the years to think we're all just brothers under the skin. I got one brother to look out for --" He jerked his head at Bucky. " -- and that's enough for me."

Simon seemed to think for a moment. "This . . . this is just a job for you, isn't it?"

"Right enough," the man-mountain said. "Just work, as it was, for two enterprisin' young men such as meself and Bucky."

"What if --" Simon stopped abruptly. "What is your name, by the way?"

"Clive."

"Clive." The doctor smiled. "If this is just a job, then you're open to other offers, aren’t you?"

"Not followin' yer meanin, Doc."

"What if I could offer you something far more valuable than whatever you're being paid to keep us here? Something so rare, even the smallest amount of it would be worth a fortune?" He lowered his voice to near a whisper. "What if I could get you a tube of . . . Ambrosia?"

Clive laughed out loud, turning a few heads. "Ye think I'm daft? Yer so straight I could use ya for a ruler. How would you get yer hands on sumfin' like that?"

Simon raises his hand and looked around furtively. "Keep it down, please! As to how I got it . . . well, it was a while ago. I was one of the best trauma surgeons on Osiris, working the ER, when this well-dressed gentleman was brought in. Knife wounds, heart and lungs ripped up pretty bad. I saw this metal case fall out of his pocket and slide under his bio bed, but forgot all about it while we tried to keep him alive. As good as I was, I couldn't save him. But when they took him away, I remembered the case. I picked it up, opened it, and there were four tubes of this bluish liquid inside."

Kaylee could see that Bucky had become interested in spite of himself. Clive, however, was a little more skeptical.

"And it was Ambrosia?" Simon nodded, motioning again for the thug to keep his voice down. Clive laughed, a short derisive bark. "And how'd ya figger that out, Doc? Try some?"

"Don't be stupid!" Clive's eyes narrowed, and Simon raised a hand in apology. "I was in the most well-equipped hospital on the planet. I analyzed it. In that little case was enough Ambrosia to buy a small moon -- not that I could actually do anything with it."

"Why not?" Everyone turned towards Bucky. They were the first real words he'd spoken. He looked back, brows furrowed. "Why couldn't ye buy yerself a moon, then?"

"Coz the stuff's illegal, Bucky," Clive answered, saving Simon the trouble. "Mister Upstandin' Citizen here canna sell it on the open market, and he don't have the connections to sell it on the down-low. Ain't dat right, Doc?"

"Exactly." Kaylee watched, amazed but trying hard not to show it, as Simon took a step closer to Clive, with Bucky following. "So I had a billionaire's ransom in the palm of my hand, but no way to get at it, at least not on a Core world like Osiris. But maybe out here, on the rim, an opportunity would come up to sell the Ambrosia -- and make myself wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice."

"Huh?" Bucky looked to his brother for help. Clive sighed.

"Rich, Bucky. He could sell it out here and get very, very rich." Bucky nodded wisely, taping the side of his nose with his finger.

"So if you were to let the both of us just walk away, I could give you a tube of Ambrosia. You could disappear and live the rest of your lives without working another day." Simon smiled. "I'm sure two enterprising gentlemen like yourselves could find a buyer you could trust."

"A whole tube? Juss fer walkin' away?" Clive laughed again. "If we juss let yer walk, how're we goin' ta collect? Wot, yer juss gonna mail it to us?"

"Of course not," Simon looked around and leaned forward. "I have it with me."

"WHAT?" Clive's eyebrows shot up. "Are ye daft? If it IS real, why're ye carryin' it aroun'?"

Simon shrugged. "Always hoping to find a buyer, I guess. Besides, it really is safer with me. If my shipmates get into trouble, I could just walk away and sell a few drops to buy a new ship."

Clive stared at the doctor, and Kaylee could almost hear the wheels turnin' in his head. She didn't know where her Simon was headed with all this, but he seemed to be headed someplace, and Kaylee would happily go along for the ride. She watched as Clive seemed to come to some sort of decision.

"We'll let ye go," he said, with a grin Kaylee just couldn't trust, "but only after we see the stuff."

Simon looked at Clive and Bucky, thought for a second, and nodded. "Fair enough."

He made sure there was no one else nearby, then reached into his jacket pocket and took out a thin metal case that opened at the top. Before he could open it, Clive reached out and snatched it from him, and Bucky stuck out a hand to stop Simon from grabbing it back.

"Now," said Clive, his grin becoming a snarl. "I got yer Ambrosia and I got ye, too."

Simon smiled and shook his head. "What you have is a metal case you can't open without my help. If you try, it flash boils the Ambrosia and destroys it. I had that case made to replace the original. That way I can't be incriminated for carrying around contraband if the feds catch me -- or have a fortune stolen from me in a crowd."

The doctor held out his hand. "So give back the case and we'll deal fairly, or forget about ever seeing that Ambrosia except as a cloud of steam as it floats away."

Clive pulled out a gun and pointed it at Kaylee. "Or I could hang onto the case, and ye ken open it and stop me from blowin' yer ladyfriend's 'ead off. Wot about it, mate?"

Simon's smile faded as he saw the fear in Kaylee's eyes. "A counter proposal, Clive. I open the case for you and you let us go. Four tubes of Ambrosia must be worth crossing your employer, right? And it's not doing me any good just sitting in my pocket, is it?"

Clive hesitated, then shrugged and put his gun away. "I'm a reasonable fella, Doc. Open it up, and ye and yer ladyfriend are free to go."

Simon sighed. "All right, then. Let me show you how to open it. You too, Bucky. You should both know."

Obediently, the brothers gathered close, and Simon took the case in his hand and held it where both could see.

"Look at where my fingers are," he said smoothly. "That's the failsafe position. It allows you to open the case safely. Then you just press on this smooth patch right here, and --"

A cloud of bluish vapor puffed out directly into the faces of the two brothers, coating their skin and drifting into their lungs. Simon took a step back and watched as Clive and Bucky collapsed to the ground like puppets with their strings cut.

Simon put the case back in his jacket pocket and let out the breath he'd been holding. Suddenly Kaylee grabbed him from behind with a squeal.

"SIMON TAM! Where in the Verse did you learn to lie like that?" She spun him around and gave him a kiss that made him feel like he'd inhaled the vapor as well.

"It wasn't a lie, exactly," he said when she let him up for air. "It all happened just the way I said it did -- except for the part about the Ambrosia. A well-dressed gentleman with no ident card did come in, just as I described, and that case fell out of his pocket and slid under the bio bed while we tried to keep him alive. I found it later."

"You just took it?"

Simon shrugged. "I had planned to turn it in at Administration, but I was curious about what it was, so I held onto it and scanned it. It turned out to be some kind of short-range concealed weapon, full of a sedative that can enter the bloodstream through the skin -- although inhaling it works just as well."

"And the Ambrosia?" Kaylee looked at him suspiciously. Simon blushed.

"Just a wild tale of easy money, based on all the lurid tales of treasure and adventure I found on the Cortex as a child," he replied. "The ones my father warned me not to read. I needed a reason for them to let me get close enough to use the weapon, and they needed a reason to betray their employer. Two birds . . ." he gestured at the bodies ". . . with one story."

Simon looked around at all of the passersby. They were very carefully NOT looking in his direction (or at the two men on the floor), so he took Kalylee's arm and started strolling towards the exit. "Since no one came to claim the man's body or his possessions, and since my search for a way to get River free was starting to take me into dangerous parts of the city, I kept it."

"So what do we do now?" Kaylee asked, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Back to the ship, I think," he replied. "If no one else in the crew has been grabbed, they'll all be there waiting for us. But if the others have been taken, River and Linda will still be on Serenity. And I think we're going to need all the help we can get."

###

"I have waited a long time for this day, Captain Reynolds," Niska said with a smile. "I should kill you quickly -- kill you all quickly. It would be the smart thing to do. The professional thing. But the truth is, I want to savor your defeat. I want to embrace it. I want to live it with you, existing only for this moment, in this moment, as you watch your world collapse around you." He waved his hand and chuckled. "I know, I know. It's a failing, and I have many -- or so my wife tells me. But I am old, and I have learned that sometimes a man should take his pleasure where he can find it. Life, as they say, is short."

"I reckon so," Mal replied, his jaw tight. "I can make it shorter for you, if you want."

Niska shook his head and laughed. "I'm sure you would love to make an end to me, Captain. But this time, it is I who will end you."

"Then do it already." The captain growled, staring straight into his captor's eyes. "Kill me if it'll make you feel all shiny. Make it slow if you want. But let my people go."

"But again, this is a mistake you make, Captain." The crimelord's eyes glittered behind his old-fashioned glasses, and his smile became a touch wider. "Thinking this is only about revenge, when in fact, there is so much more here than you think -- much more than a man like yourself could possibly comprehend."

Niska reached up and stroked Inara's cheek with a finger. She turned her head and tried to bite it, but he was faster than she expected, and her teeth closed on empty air. She glared at him in anger, and he smiled, then nodded. One guard pulled her back and swung her around, and the other slapped her hard across her face with the back of his hand. The companion tried to stop herself, but a small cry escaped from between her sealed lips. Mal watched as a trickle of blood ran down from the corner of her mouth.

The old man looked back at Mal and beamed, his eyes twinkling. "You see? It is not the killing I am here for. It is the pain that gives me pleasure -- hers, and yours. I do not just want you dead. I want to see you suffer. And watching you as I destroy your 'family' and steal your home? Oh, that will hurt you worst of all. And I will be there to see every glorious moment."

He patted Inara on her bruised cheek, and turned to face Mal. "Then, Captain Reynolds, I will kill you. In fact, I am looking forward to it very much. But as we learned last time, you and I, you cannot suffer once you are dead. So, as my mother always used to say . . . first things first."

###

Wash stood at the top of the stairs leading to the cockpit, her body framed by the doorway and her curves lit from above by an overhead fixture. Her heels on the metal deck made enough noise to silence the voices down the corridor.

"Hello?" she said softly, doing her best to keep her voice level. "Who's there?"

Her reply was a low chuckle. "My, my," a deep voice purred. "Stop in to pick up a spaceship and get a free redhead. Who knew it was bargain day at the Skyplex?"

The pilot pushed aside her fear. She had a job to do -- keeping these two busy until River was finished. But how? 'This guy likes to play with words, and I do, too,' she thought. 'Maybe he likes his women to be playful, too. And if he thinks I'm interested . . .'

She stopped for a second, then continued with an internal sigh. 'If he thinks I'm interested, he won't kill me. That's enough of a plus to work with, for now.'

Wash grinned and shook her head. "First of all, I'm not free," she said, letting a playful note come into her voice. She shifted her weight and cocked her hip, letting one hand rest there. "I'm not talking about coin -- I'm a pilot, not a whore. But I like to know I'm appreciated. So let's start with dinner and a show, and see what happens first."

A rumbling chuckle drifted back her way down the corridor. She continued, encouraged. "And as for me being a bargain, forget it. Just ask my last boyfriend. Believe me, my name and the words 'cheap date' will never pass his lips in the same sentence, unless the words 'not a' appear between them."

The deep voice laughed aloud. "Girl, you are a hoot!"

"Thanks! You're a lovely audience," Wash replied sweetly. "I'll be at the Skyplex Comedy Shack all week, two shows a night -- unless you manage to take the ship. Then of course I'll be dead. No refunds, though."

"Maybe not, sweet thing," the deep voice said, still smiling. "You might come under the heading of illegal salvage. Hate to waste someone as pretty as you."

"I bet you say that to all your victims." Another rumbling chuckle echoed down the corridor.

A hissing voice came from the shadows on the far side of the passageway. "Knock it off, Teller. We aren't here to play. We're on the job, remember?"

"Oh, come on, Beeks. There's always time to play. Ain't that right, baby?"

Wash smiled in what she hoped was a seductive manner. "Depends on who you're playing with. And what game you're planning to play."

"Well, my name's Teller. And I think we're already playin', don't you?" She could hear the sly grin in the mercenary's voice, and it sent shivers down her spine.

'Damn,' she thought, trying to keep the fear inside. 'I'm better at this flirting thing than I thought. Either that or he hasn't seen a woman in a long time.'

A little voice inside her whispered, 'Or maybe you still don't want to see how sexy you are now.' She did her best to ignore it.

"Are we playing?" Wash let a touch of innocence drift into her voice. "I hadn't noticed."

Teller snorted. "I think you're old enough to have been in the game for a while, girl," he said. "And you do the dance like a pro."

The pilot's eyebrows shot up in surprise before she could stop them. "Thank you . . . I think."

A little surprise touched Teller's reply. "You think?"

A bit of Linda's memory slipped into Wash's mind, causing a bit of a blush. "Sometimes a woman who isn't a 'pro' doesn't like to be thought of as one. It's . . . complicated."

Beeks laughed then, a dry wheeze. "It always is where bitches are concerned."

"Shut it, Beeks." Teller's anger came through with a sharp edge. "My job, my lead. That means you work for me. So shut your trap or I'll shut it for you. Clear?"

There was a short pause, then Beeks spoke in even, measured tones. "As long as you remember who you're working for, Tee. And as long as you keep your eyes on your business instead of her chest."

There was a long uncomfortable silence.

"So, Red," Teller said, his voice deliberately conversational. "What's your name?"

"Linda." Wash stared out into the darkness. 'This would work a whole lot better if I could see who I'm talking to,' she thought, frustrated.

"Well, Linda. As you heard, Beeks really would like to kill you." Teller sighed. "I personally think that would be an awful waste, but he has . . . issues with women." Beeks snorted and fell silent. "It is your lucky day, though. Since this job is mine, we do it my way. So I'm gonna give you a chance to walk away."

Wash felt her jaw fall open. Teller laughed out loud again. "You seem surprised, girl. After all, it's only a chance to walk away. If you really want to get out of this alive, Linda, you have do exactly what I say -- 'cause if you don't, I guarantee Beeks will just kill you where you stand."

'Gorram it, what'll I do now?' The pilot felt herself begin to panic. 'If I walk away, they'll walk into the cockpit and find River. If I don't walk away, they'll shoot me dead, drag the body to one side . . . and then find River. Could this day possibly get any worse?'

She cleared her throat. "Wha ... what is it you want me to do?"

Wash could feel Teller's grin in the darkness when he spoke. "In order for you to leave, we've got to let you past us, right?" Wash nodded. "And I'd be a fool ten times over to let you walk behind us with a weapon, right?" She nodded again, more slowly. "So if you want to leave alive, I need you to strip bare-ass naked, leave your clothes up on the deck there, and walk slowly past Beeks and I to the far end of the corridor."

Teller took a step forward into a shaft of light from overhead. He was big, with a body that had seen more fighting than loving. Blond and blue-eyed, with a short scar running down his left cheek and a cold grin that only underscored the lust in his eyes. "And if Beeks and I decide to . . . check you for weapons as you pass, you give us a smile and a 'thank you' -- and anything else we might like to have before you reach the other side of this passageway."

Beeks laughed, a mean and ugly sound. "Damn, Tee! You are a ruttin' genius."

Teller smiled wider. "Credit where credit is due, Beeks. So what'll it be, Linda? Take it all off and everybody's happy . . . or die where you stand. It would be a waste -- but playing with you is just an added bonus, after all. And the ship will still be here when you're gone."

The pilot shuddered all over, thinking about her choices -- and about how there really wasn't any choice at all. She was just starting to get used to this body, and now she was going to have to cross a line she was soooo not ready to cross.

'But you do what you have to do to save the people you care about,' she realized as her blood ran cold. 'That's why I'm here like this in the first place. To save Zoe and the crew.'

Wash smiled weakly and nodded. "Game over, then," she said, her voice shaking. "You win. I could ask you to be gentle, but you'll be what you are, won't you?" Teller nodded, and Beeks laughed again.

She reached up and tugged on her flight suit's zipper. 'River needs time,' she thought, 'and if all I have to work with to get it for her is my body, I guess I'm moving from comedy to burlesque.'

'Let's just hope I don't wind up as dead as vaudeville.'

###

"Niska!"

Across the crowded Skyplex floor, Jayne could see that all manner of things had gone way south. Mal and Zoe, held in plain sight by Niska and his gorram goons. He couldn't hear what was going on, but he knew it couldn't be good. After what they did to get Mal back the last time Niska had him, Jayne knew the man was gonna want blood, and he wasn't gonna take no chances this time.

'And he has 'Nara,' the mercenary grumbled, watchin' the situation go from bad to worse and likin' it even less. 'Least his goons do, which ties Mal’s hands pretty damned quick, the way he feels about her.'

Jayne leaned forward a little, trying to get a better view of what was going on without letting anyone see him in the doorway. Crowds of people moved around the small group across the way like a river around a rock, and every one of 'em lookin' to shop or gab or some such -- a wall of rich folk between him and his target.

'Sure would cause a fuss if somethin' happened to any of them,' Jayne thought, lookin' for an opening and not findin' one. 'And if Niska's here with Mal, I'm thinkin' the rest of his folk are probably busy grabbin' up everybody else right now. Includin' Linda.'

He growled in frustration, bangin' the doorframe with his fist.

'Taint fair!' he raged inside. 'Just when things start goin' my way, Niska's gotta spoil it all. Not that I can do nothin' about it all by myself, cut off from the others. Gorram it, why did I have to wind up stuck here . . .'

Jayne turned away from the door and stopped, stunned. ' . . . stuck here -- in a store full of guns.'

The clerk watched with growing unease as a wicked smile grew on the mercenary's face, his eyes roaming the shelves and display cases with undisguised happiness.

'Oh, yeah,' Jayne thought, the smile becoming a grin. 'This is gonna be fun!'