Chapter 3

A/N: Be sure to read the first two parts before you read this one. This chapter is a bit longer and darker- be prepared. Also the M/I ship is a central part of the story from here on out. Warning: The subject of rape (nothing graphic) comes up in this chapter and the aftermath is dealt with in the next chapter. If this is disturbing to you please don’t read any more. If you can hang with it, read on and see how Mal and the rest of the crew pull together to help Inara heal and ultimately get on with her life.

* * * * *

“Is everybody on board, Zoe?” Mal yelled from the deck of the hold.

“Yes sir.”

“We’re going back to the Baron’s house and see if anybody’s left alive.”

Mal had Wash land Serenity right in the center of the huge courtyard of the plundered mansion. The courtyard was already torn apart and full of debris; Mal didn’t figure they could do much more damage at this point. He wanted to be sure of a fast get-away if things went south.

The courtyard of the Baron’s home must have been beautiful, Mal could see. He, Zoe and Jayne moved slowly, almost reverently through the burned and littered grounds toward the open doors of the main building. Broken statues were knocked off marbled pedestals to either side of the entrance. A pool with a fountain still running like nothing had happened was off to one side. There was very little vegetation, just like the rest of the moon, but the residents here had made up for it through elaborate ornamentation. It was heartbreaking to see the mess left behind by the marauders.

Mal stepped through the doorway with his gun drawn and looked around before signaling to Zoe and Jayne to come in. The damage inside matched the destruction outside. After a quick run through the main floor revealed nobody, Mal headed up the stairs with Jayne and Zoe behind. Room by room, they checked for survivors.

“In here,” Mal said. He was standing in the doorway of a huge master suite. He walked through and automatically checked the pulse of the first body he came to, a richly dressed middle-aged man, hair of steely gray, spread out on the floor; probably the Baron himself.

“Dead,” he announced although it was obvious. Zoe was bent over the body of a woman who looked to be closer to Inara’s age. She was beautiful even in death, her blond curls spread out around her flawless face. Zoe straightened up and shook her head. The bloodied bodies of two younger women were curled against the wall.

“Ai ya; hwoon dahn,” Jayne cursed thickly in Mandarin. “How did Inara--?” Mal shot him a warning glance. He couldn’t afford to be reminded of her right now; they needed to keep their minds on determining what had happened here. If he thought about his friend, his precious more-than-friend who was currently lying unconscious in Serenity’s infirmary, he’d fall apart.

“What was this? A robbery? Revenge? Family feud?” Jayne speculated. “Poor Inara. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Just then Zoe, who had continued searching through the rest of the rooms on that level, re-entered the master suite.

“Three more bodies down the hall; two men and a boy. I don’t see any survivors. Without survivors, we have no way of finding out what their motives were.”

Mal had had enough of the sad scene. “Jayne, grab that computer on the desk. Maybe it will have some clues on it. And let’s get out of here. Quick-like.”

“Yes sir. I couldn’t agree more.”

* * * * *

“What are you all doing?” Mal asked from the catwalk overlooking the cargo hold. It had been two days since they’d sailed from Icarus far out into the black. Below him Zoe, Wash and Jayne were picking through an enormous pile of assorted jewelry, expensive clothing, metal statuettes, china dishes and the like. The goods they’d recovered from the robbers’ ship looked like they’d been swiped from an elite museum instead of a remote homestead on a rimworld moon.

“This guy was quite a collector,” Zoe remarked. “This stuff is worth a fortune.”

“How did Inara’s friend find this guy? I’m thinking I could find me a match out there somewhere too,” Kaylee commented. The greedy light in her eyes irritated Mal.

“What, and get yourself killed by marauders? I’m thinking it’s not the best idea you’ve had lately.”

Kaylee glanced at Mal, hurt. “Oh, and this job is a real dandy. Since I signed on with you I could’ve just as well been killed ‘bout ten times already!” She started to stomp away, but a bauble caught her eye and, already forgetting her anger, she settled back down to inspect the new treasure.

“You’re still here,” Mal growled.

“Dumb luck is all!”

“Please, Cap’n; Kaylee: I’ve had about all the sweet nothin’s I can handle for one day.” Zoe glared them down. “We’ve all got work to do.”

“Carry on, then. I’m going to ask Simon where he would suggest we should try and unload some of this stuff. He knows the core pretty well.”

Mal wasn’t fooling anyone. He was going to see Simon so he could check on the doctor’s current patient. The infirmary door was closed, but Mal could see Simon inside through the glass window. He knocked softly on the door jam. Simon motioned for him to enter.

“How’s she doing today?” Mal asked in a whisper. His eyes strayed past Simon Tam to the still figure tucked on a gurney in the center of the room. He was struck anew by the small bundle she made, lying there wrapped in soft white blankets to guard against Serenity’s ever-present chill. He’d been surprised at what a lightweight she was when he’d picked her up off the floor of the other ship. It was the first time he’d ever held her. She’d curled into his arms so readily; he couldn’t believe how easy it was to carry her. She’d always seemed larger than life to him before: her presence, with her rich robes, her unnaturally large eyes, and self-confident stance were quite frankly a bit intimidating. Now, lying there unconscious, swathed in a blanket so that only her face showed, she seemed painfully fragile. He felt a stab of fear that they would lose her after all.

“The same, I’m afraid. She hasn’t regained consciousness. Her vital signs are strong, and she shows no signs of infection, but only time will tell if she’s suffered any damage due to oxygen loss. I’m going to check in on River. Do you think you can sit with her, Mal?”

“Of course.”

Simon had been pretty sure he wouldn’t have any trouble convincing the Captain to stay with Inara for a while.

“Thanks; I’ll be right back.” Simon left.

Mal stood near the entry for a minute or two just watching her breathe and allowing relief wash over him. She was alive. He pulled up the doctor’s stool, sat down at the head of the gurney, reached out and delicately touched her ashen cheek.

“Inara, what happened? I never should have let you go alone.” He knew that the overpowering guilt he was feeling was unfounded; Inara went off on her own all the time. But he’d had a nagging sixth sense about this one. He’d ignored his inner voice and look what had happened: they’d almost lost Serenity in a trap and Inara had been seriously hurt on a trip that was supposed to have been a joyful vacation with a friend. He’d gone pretty far down the road of self-blame when a tiny sound brought his attention back to the woman beside him.

“Mgrmblth,” she slurred without opening her eyes.

“Nara?” Mal picked up her hand and held it with both of his, anxious for her response. Her head rolled to one side, then the other. She took a shuddering breath and struggled briefly against the confining blankets.

“Bao bei,” Mal breathed, surprising himself with the endearment that flew from his lips unbidden. He stroked her cheek, softly running his fingers across her brow and petting her hair in an attempt to wake her. She coughed and tried again to sit up to no avail.

“Easy, Nara. Lie still; you’re in the infirmary. You’re safe; you’re back on Serenity. You’ve been injured and you need to lie still.” He put his hand on her face to still her thrashing. She jerked at the first touch of his palm against her cheek.

“Don’t,” she mumbled. Surprised, Mal met her gaze. Her eyes had finally opened and she was staring at him, but something was wrong. All he could see was wide-eyed fear. She didn’t appear to recognize him.

“It’s me, Nara. Don’t you know me?” Mal pulled his hand back, not wanting to upset her further. She was looking at him with such open terror that he felt like a Reaver. He had a crazy notion to find a mirror and get a peek at the monster she was seeing.

“Nara,” he tried again. “It’s me. It’s Mal. You know I would never hurt you.”

She moaned, her eyes fluttered shut, her head turned away and she slipped back under. Simon came into the infirmary a few moments later to find Mal white as a sheet.

“What’s the matter? Is she okay?” Simon asked, automatically picking up a wrist for her pulse.

“She woke up,” Mal reported. “Only for a few minutes, but she was awake.”

“Did she say anything?”

“Not really. She didn’t seem to know who I was. Then she closed her eyes again.”

“Well, I think it’s a good sign that she’s regained consciousness. Some confusion is common in cases like this. I’m hopeful we’ll see improvement soon. Uh, Mal, are you okay?” Simon asked.

“Yeah. Conjure I’ll go see Wash and River; I’ll just make certain sure everything’s under control.” Because right now it felt to Mal like everything was out of control, ever since Inara had given him that wild-eyed stare and had failed to recognize him.

* * * * *

“Hey, Cap,” Wash greeted him when he entered the bridge and slipped into the co-pilot’s chair.

“Hey yourself. Where’s River?”

“She’s around. Simon took her back to her room to get some rest; he’s been after her to get on a more regular schedule. He says she doesn’t sleep enough. We’re coming up on the Persephone system; you want we should stop and sell a few of our pretty things?”

“Not yet. We have enough supplies to fly for weeks. Let’s steer clear.”

“Feeling antisocial, Cap?” Wash ribbed.

“As always,” Mal confirmed answering Wash’s smirk with a wan smile. “I’m going to find River.”

The girl was in her cabin but she wasn’t resting. River was dancing around the room humming an indefinable tune while she pirouetted and executed graceful little leaps. She smiled at Mal as he climbed down into her lair.

“River, I want you to do something for me. For all of us.”

“You want me to find her. She’s far away, Cap’n-Daddy. Maybe too far to find.” She spun around to the tune in her head. Her hair flew around her in a dark cloud. Her eyes were closed and she was smiling.

“River, stop for a minute and talk to me.” Mal grabbed her shoulders and held her still. “What do you mean?”

River grew serious and peered at Mal with uncomfortable intensity. Mal could feel her looking right into his bare soul. Her dark eyes grew sad and Mal saw tears shimmering around the edges, ready to spill out and burn. Unconsciously his hands tightened on her arms.

“River, please tell me what’s wrong with her, if you know something. You can sense it, can’t you? You do, I can see it. Talk to me.”

“They hurt her, and she’s hiding now. She doesn’t want to be found. There’s pain, so much pain.” Tears overflowed and slid down her cheeks. Mal felt a pang of guilt at the knowledge that her tears were partially his fault. But he had to press on.

“You can reach her, mei mei?” He persisted.

“I don’t know. Hurts. It hurts.” Mal wasn’t sure if River was talking about Inara or if she’d gone farther back into her own past to revisit the atrocities done to her at the hands of the Alliance. He felt terrible for her, for Inara, for the way powerful people visited destruction upon the innocent. With a groan, he pulled River into his arms and held on with all his strength, wanting to pull her out of her private hell once and for all. He hated himself for bringing it all back to her mind, even if it was to save another member of his crew who was in crisis.

“It’s okay, Cap’n-Daddy. Not for me to do, anyhow. Conjure it’s you.” Her gentle fingers were stroking his back with soothing, rhythmic strokes. He felt his heart slowing down and his muscles unwinding. Not for the first time he wondered if she really was a witch. With a deep, peaceful breath, River stepped backwards out of his embrace. He gazed at her, mesmerized by the look of trust and admiration she was beaming at him.

“I tried, River. She’s scared to death of me.”

“Try again. You’ll find her. She knows.” River began to dance again. The discussion was plainly over as far as she was concerned. Mal nodded and headed back to the infirmary.

She didn’t awaken again that night. Mal sat next to her through the long night, propped in a chair where he dozed awkwardly. When he woke up the muscles in his neck were on fire. He stood up with a groan and tried to knead away the burning spasm. It took him a moment to remember where he was and why he was there. When his head cleared, he sat back down next to Inara, taking her hand in his again. Her hand flinched in his. When he looked down at her she met his gaze. There was more trust and less fear this time.

“Mornin’, darlin’,” he said to her with an easy grin. “Good to see you awake for once.”

She struggled to sit up. Mal moved behind her and was gratified that she allowed him to help her to a sitting position. It seemed that whether or not she could remember him, she’d come to the conclusion he was not a threat. She hung her blanketed legs over the side of the gurney and studied the infirmary.

“You’ve been asleep for a couple of days. Can I get you anything? Are you thirsty? Hungry?”

She said nothing but simply stared at him while he talked. The fear was gone but in its place was a confused wariness. Mal strode to the cupboard and pulled out a hydration pouch.

“Do you want some water?” Not waiting for an answer, he sat down next to her and held out the water pouch. She took it, drank it all and then looked for more. Mal smiled.

“Just a second, Nara, I’ll get some more.” He grabbed another plastic pouch out of the cupboard and took it to her.

At that moment, Simon came in. Inara cried out and threw her arms around Mal’s neck in a chokehold he was able to ease out of only by degrees. The water pouch fell at Simon’s feet. He bent over and retrieved it.

“Good to see you awake, Inara. How are you feeling?” Simon asked. Inara’s only response was to hide her face in Mal’s chest.

“Hey, Nara, this is Dr. Simon. He’s one of the good guys. Don’t be afraid.” Her hands loosened their grip slightly. “She doesn’t seem to know us, yet, Doc.”

“You’re safe now,” he soothed in her ear. Ai ya, he was a bastard. In a strange, sick way he was actually enjoying this. Or maybe he was enjoying being needed by this amazingly independent woman who, until now, had never appeared to need anybody. Her arms fell to his waist and locked around him. She felt warm, soft and yielding. This was not the Inara he knew. His brain was beginning to fog over.

“Well, Inara, I need to examine you and see how you’re doing. Will you let me check you over?” Simon asked. He made no move towards her but waited for her answer. She said nothing. Mal gave Simon a helpless shrug.

“I’m just going to listen to your heart and lungs first,” he said. Moving around to the other side of the gurney, Simon reached across and gently placed the stethoscope against her bare back. She flinched but remained calm. After a minute, he straightened up and came around to face her.

“Okay, now I need to check your neck. Your trachea was bruised and we need to see how the swelling is doing.” She sat up, watching Simon like a cornered cat, one hand clutching Mal’s thigh with an iron grip. Slowly, the doctor moved a hand towards her and gently, slowly, examined her neck. He smiled.

“The swelling’s down. Looks much better, Inara. You’ll be sore for a few days, but you’re going to make a full recovery. Mal, can I see you outside the room for a minute?”

“I’ll be back,” Mal assured Inara. She released her chokehold on his leg and curled up on the gurney. She seemed exhausted. Simon pulled a blanket over her and she closed her eyes.

“What?” Mal asked when they had moved out of earshot. Simon looked grim. “She’s okay, right?”

“You can’t see her worst injuries. Physically, she’ll recover quickly, I have no doubt. But I think she’s going to have a tough time mentally and emotionally. A very tough time. Mal, I had to stitch up the wounds.”

“What do you mean? Where?” Mal hadn’t seen anything but bruises on Inara.

“She was raped, Mal. Brutally raped. And she was choked so badly that she may have been without oxygen long enough to damage her brain. She hasn’t said anything; she doesn’t recognize anybody. These are bad signs. I can’t predict how much of the old Inara is going to come back. I thought you should know what we’re dealing with here.”

“Raped?” Mal whispered in horror. He hadn’t really heard anything else Simon had said. He turned away from Simon and put out a hand on the bulkhead to steady himself. “Lao tyen boo,” Mal rasped.

“Whatever happened back there was horrific. She’s lucky to be alive.”

Mal had seen the carnage; he knew Simon was right. Inara was very lucky to be alive. No matter how hard the road ahead, they’d walk it; see it through with her. No matter what her injuries were, having her here, alive, was infinitely better than the alternative.

“Thanks, doc. I’m going to go sit with her. If that’s alright with you.”

“Sure.” Simon stepped back out of the way and allowed Mal to reclaim his seat at the head of Inara’s bed. After a moment’s hesitation, Simon turned and walked away, having decided it might be a good time to sip a slow cup of tea in the mess. ******

A/N: Ai ya, hwoon dahn = damn, son of a bitch. Lao tyen boo = oh my Lord Bao bei = sweetheart Chapter four will be out in a few days…I hope…I’m planning on two, no more than three more installments. Thanks for reading!