Love, Loyalty and Serenity: Conclusion

By the time they docked with Serenity, the storm outside had abated. The storm in Inara had also subsided; in fact, she was sound asleep. Mal shook her awake. She sat up slowly and moaned.

“Leave me be,” she slurred. Her eyes were only half-open. Mal supported her as she stumbled out of her seat and he led her toward the hatch.

“We’re back. Home. C’mon, ‘Nara. You look like you sorely need your bed.”

“Bed,” she echoed.

The walk to her shuttle was a long one for Inara in her utterly spent condition. Mal never once let go of her arm. She moved woodenly, like a zombie, her beautiful dark eyes empty and lifeless. Inside, Mal sat down next to her on the bed, not yet willing to leave her alone to wrestle with her newly captured memories. It had been too long since she had last spoken and he was beginning to wonder if the nightmare of the last few weeks was starting all over again. He reached out and tentatively touched her arm, not sure what she needed or what he was able to offer her.

“Inara?” he asked.

She turned and went behind the ornate privacy screen that dominated one wall. He swallowed and pretended not to look as she stripped off her soaked clothes without much thought as to whether he was watching and emerged wrapped in a dry robe. She was shaking and wore a shattered, defeated expression. Mal watched her sympathetically.

“Need anything?” He asked.

“Please don’t leave me alone,” she said, astonishing them both.

“What?”

“Please?”

“If that’s what you want.”

He had no experience with the fragile, needy side of this normally sharp-tongued, independent woman. It appeared Inara was surprising her own self as well. She hesitantly curled up in a ball on one side of the bed. He stared as she pulled the coverlet up over her body and lay down, all the while watching him with woeful uncertainty. He stood there frozen for longer than she could bear. She finally reached over and tugged feebly at his sleeve. It worked; he came to life and nodded his acquiescence.

“It’s okay, I’m staying. Just a second.” Mal sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to remove his damp, muddy boots to the accompaniment of a few choice Mandarin oaths, and then stood up and slipped his suspenders off his shoulders. It didn’t take him long to remove his pants and jacket. He dropped each item into a wet heap on the floor, promising himself to lay his things out to dry as soon as he woke up. His shirt was fairly dry, having been under his jacket, so he lay down still wearing the loose muslin shirt. He pulled the remainder of the coverlet over his bare legs and sighed deeply. Ai ya, he was tired. Against his mind’s protestations his eyes closed and he felt himself begin to drift off.

This wasn’t exactly what he’d planned on happening if and when he shared a bed with Inara. All his daydreams of this moment, however, weren’t enough to counteract the unbearable fatigue sucking at his mind. Somewhere on the edges of his consciousness he felt her arm creep across his chest and remain draped there, a sweet ribbon of comfort and warmth. Her head nestled into the crook of his arm and her hair somehow became entangled in his nerveless fingers. He tried to hang onto the feel of its silky weight in his hand but everything was fast fading away into the dark, bringing with it an unaccustomed sense of peace.

“Thank you,” she breathed. It was the last thing he remembered for a very long time.

* * * *

“Going to town, Cap?” Jayne asked at the sight of his commanding officer entering the galley bright and early the next morning scrubbed and dressed in clean clothes. The rest of the crew sat around the table eating breakfast in between trading jokes and insults. The only one missing was Inara. Kaylee was pouring tea and Zoe was trying to steal a piece of bread off her husband’s plate. He grabbed her arm but he immediately regretted it.

“You don’t want to arm wrestle with her,” Mal recommended. “Play nice, Zoe,” he added when he saw her bend Wash’s arm backwards.

“She won’t hurt me,” Wash boasted. “Ow!” he cried out a second later. “Sweetcakes, that hurt!”

Mal snorted; River laughed.

“Yes, I am going into town, Jayne,” Mal answered. “I got a lead on a job we can run. If it pans out we’re flying out of here tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Several of his trusty crew whined in unison.

“Serenity is a working vessel and you are her working crew; shore leave was shiny but it’s over,” Mal reminded them firmly. “Anybody coming into town with me?”

“Need some help with securing that job?” Jayne asked.

“Sure.”

“I’m coming too,” Kaylee chimed in.

Simon perked up. “I think I will too,” he said looking sidelong at Kaylee. River stepped forward expectantly. Book raised his hand like he was back in school.

“Okay kids, everybody in the mule in ten,” Mal said with a laugh. “Wash? Zoe? I hope you’re staying with the ship. Somebody ought to.”

“No problem, Cap’n,” Wash agreed with a suggestive grin aimed at Zoe.

“I meant someone needs to stay with the ship and actually keep an eye on things.”

“Yes, sir,” Zoe said coolly. Wash looked crestfallen.

* * * * *

“Sir Benton, this is Inara,” she said into the communications unit. She cringed before going on. “I’m so sorry about last night,” she stuttered, wondering what message she could possibly leave that could make up for her unforgivable rudeness to him. She didn’t have to think for long because suddenly he was right there on the screen almost as if he’d been waiting to hear from her. Inara’s stomach clenched with embarrassment.

“Inara! I’m glad to see you’re alright. I was quite worried about you.” She heard no tone of accusation; just a touching concern that sounded sincere.

“I’m fine, Benton, but I owe you an explanation and an apology. Could we meet?”

“Perhaps.” He sounded uncomfortable.

“Would you like to have a cup of tea together this afternoon at the café?” Inara asked.

“I would like that. Inara, did you say you are living on a transport ship?”

“Yes; a Firefly Class transport.”

“Do you conjure your ship would be able to provide transport for some goods I have contracted to a rancher on Aberdeen? I am unable to deliver his order myself and he is anxious to receive it. I would make it worth your Captain’s time.”

“I reckon he would be happy to oblige you. I’ll bring Captain Reynolds with me to our meeting and you two can discuss the particulars.” Inara was relieved to have an excuse to bring Mal with her to what would probably be an awkward appointment.

“Wonderful. I’m looking forward to doing business with him. Out.”

The screen went dark. Inara sat there in front of it for a few moments, trying to decide if she should still be worried about seeing Sir Benton face to face. He was a nice man. He was one of her kindest clients, and she’d known him too long to think he’d be vindictive. But he hadn’t said anything in his wave off about looking forward to seeing her again; he’d been all about the business. Perhaps that was safer for him. Sir Benton was from a family of considerable reputation; she doubted he’d ever been treated with such apparent distrust or distaste by anyone the way she’d treated him last night. She’d never run out on a client before; never even considered it. Her training had been strict and thorough on that account. She dropped her head into her hands. She couldn’t imagine making an appointment with a client again without being overcome by fear that she would do something like she’d done last night to Sir Benton. What was going to happen to her?

“Hey,” Mal said behind her. He’d slipped into her shuttle unannounced. She was used to it by now, but it failed to irritate her this morning the way it previously had.

“Good morning.” She stood and turned to face him. “Mal, would you accompany me into town this afternoon? I just waved Sir Benton and we’re going to meet.”

“Are you sure you want me along? Afraid to face him alone, are you?” Mal smirked but his teasing lacked its usual teeth.

“There’s some truth in that. My behavior towards him was inexcusable. But he asked for you to come along. He wants to talk to you. He has a business proposition for Serenity.”

“Well now! I reckon I could come along, at that.” Mal’s eyes grew bright with pride. “It’s not every wh-companion who can broker a business deal after… uh, never mind. Forget I said that. Sure, I’ll come with you. I got another job to see to anyway. I hope we can fit two clients’ worth of cargo in the hold. Been a while since I’ve had a problem like that to work out. Oh, I brought you something to eat since you weren’t at breakfast.”

He held out a protein bar and a lovely fresh orange that emitted a mouth-watering smell. Inara’s answering smile was one of genuine pleasure. He was still an unrepentantly backwards rim world thief. But she preferred his rough and ready honesty to the smooth-faced deceit that characterized most of her rich clients.

“Thank you.” She reached out and took the food with a graceful hand.

Mal’s eyes betrayed the warmth he felt for her. He turned and went back to the door. Just before he exited he turned around again with a smile that made her insides melt into a puddle. After he left, she stared at the doorway, stunned.

“You’re quite a man, Malcolm Reynolds,” she said to the empty room.

* * * * *

It was late in the day and sunset bathed the faces of Serenity’s crew members in a rosy glow. The weather had been exceptionally beautiful, as is often the case in the wake of a bad storm, so they had ridden the mule to and from town. The brisk wind whipped their hair and the warmth of Paquin’s Class M star warmed their backs. It had been a successful day. In spite of the pleasures of being planetside, especially on a planet as calm and relatively peaceful as Paquin had been this visit, all of them were looking forward to leaving. The black was the only place they really felt at home anymore.

“Your friend is quite a gentleman,” Mal commented to Inara. She was standing next to him, hanging on the side of the mule, looking out over the vast plains speeding past.

“Yes, Benton is one of the best people I know. I don’t know too many like him. What are we going to pick up at his ranch tomorrow? Cattle?”

Mal chuckled, remembering a particularly noisy and smelly cargo of live cattle they’d once hauled.

“Thankfully no. It’s a shipment of genetically enhanced seed. Supposed to yield three times the harvest. He paid me in advance,” Mal boasted. “We’re to pick up the shipment tomorrow morn.”

“He told me he paid you in advance because any friend of mine was undoubtedly trustworthy.”

“You made that up.”

“I did not.”

Mal reached over and poked her in the shoulder.

“Did.”

“Didn’t.”

“Okay, kids, that’s enough,” Kaylee warned.

“We could kiss and make up,” Mal suggested. Inara rolled her eyes and moved away.

“Yeah, let’s see you two kiss and make up,” Jayne jumped into the fray.

Mal took Inara by the shoulders and moved in toward her like he was going to make good on Jayne’s dare, but something in Inara’s gaze told him this was not the time. He’d come to a new understanding of her over these past few difficult weeks and he didn’t want to jeopardize the tender shoot of trust that seemed to be growing between them.

“Okay, okay. I give. Conjure you didn’t make it up. Sir Benton does think very highly of you.”

“You’re giving up?” Jayne was incredulous. Disgusted with his captain, he shook his head and sat down.

River, who was driving, pulled up in front of Serenity with a flourish. They hovered while the cargo bay lowered and then settled to a smooth landing within.

“Home! Everybody out.”

“Okay, fun’s over. Everybody back to work,” Mal said. It was definitely time to get back into space, Mal noted; instead of mouthing off as was their usual wont the crew willingly headed to their various posts.

“May I have a word, Mal?” Inara asked. She alone was still standing with him in the now empty cargo bay.

“I should get up to the bridge,” Mal said. “I’ll come by in a bit, alright?”

“Okay.” She suddenly seemed unsure of herself. “I’ll-- I’ll see you later, then?”

“Sure thing,” he assured her. “I’ll be down soon.”

* * * * *

Mal actually knocked this time, much to Inara’s surprise. It was late; she’d begun to think he wasn’t coming at all.

“Please come in,” she called out. With a nervous movement, she adjusted the positioning of the teacups and the ornamental tea kettle for the umpteenth time. Mal walked in and stood before her but didn’t sit down as she had planned for him to do. Another surge of adrenalin raced through her. Why was his mere presence making her so tense?

“Please sit down,” she invited.

“Thanks,” he said, readily plopping down next to her at her suggestion. He didn’t appear at all nervous; in fact, he seemed to be content in a way she’d rarely before observed in her many dealings with this complex man.

“Well, Serenity is back where she belongs.” Mal sounded like a little boy setting out on an adventure.

“Yes, I’d say your crew are all at their happiest when flying through the black.”

“Even you, Inara?” Mal turned to her.

“It’s grown on me, I must confess,” she said. “We seem to run into a lot of troublesome situations whenever we’re planetside. Out here is the only place I feel safe and peaceful-like any more. And I have Kaylee, and River, and Book, and Zoe…”

“Yeah?” Mal said after she fell silent. “That all?”

“And Simon, and even Jayne has become someone with whom I feel an attachment,” she continued. The poorly suppressed grin playing around her lips told Mal she was purposefully teasing. He ignored it.

“You wanted to talk to me?” He asked. Her grin disappeared; she sat up straighter.

“Yes, I do. First, Mal, I want to thank you for coming after me. I’m sorry to have caused you so much trouble.”

“You don’t owe me any apology. You couldn’t help your reaction. Besides, it’s all for the best. We got us a job out of the situation, and a good-payin’ job to boot.”

“That leads into what I want to talk with you about. My ability to bring in money is in question after all this. You see, I don’t think I can…. I can’t… I’m considering quitting the Guild.”

“Quit? Are you sure? The Guild’s your whole life. Can you do that? Just quit, I mean.”

“I don’t see that I have a choice. Sir Benton was very gracious; if I could be certain such a situation would never happen again I feel sure he would never make trouble for me. But I feel it could easily happen again. Every time I think about resuming my profession and going to see clients I feel… I just can’t do it, is all.”

“Well, truth is, I ain’t sorry.”

“How can you say that?” Inara burst out. Tears welled in her eyes. “What else can I do? Where will I go? What will happen to me? Being a companion is all I know. It’s all I know how to do.”

“Now look here, Inara. That just isn’t truthsome. There’s a lot you could do.”

Inara shook her head, sprang to her feet and stalked to the other side of the room. She stood with her arms crossed and refused to look at him. She was crying and trying valiantly to hide the fact from him, which she soon realized was futile in the tiny space.

“The only truth I know is I can’t pay the rent on the shuttle for more than a few months.”

“Inara,” Mal said softly in her ear. She jumped and turned slightly to find the man right behind her, his face only an inch or two from hers. “We’ll figure it out. Just-- please stay.”

His tone was so gentle, his hands so light on her arms that something inside her melted. She began to cry in earnest and threw her arms around his neck. He responded with a wholehearted embrace that left no doubt that he was sincere in wanting her to stay, and definitely not for business reasons.

“What will I do?” She asked again.

“You’ve got contacts all over the ‘verse. I believe you can find work for Serenity easy-like. Why, you had Sir Benton trusting us with his merchandise in spite of all that happened. You’re a natural business woman, Inara. You just have to change your uh, your product.”

“Delicately put, Cap’n,” Inara smiled through her tears.

“So, what do you say?”

“I could give it a try. Now that you mention it, the Guild outpost on Aberdeen might be in need of some pretty things to spruce up their establishment. I seem to remember we are carrying a hold full of pretty things. And I think Fariah would like the idea of her things being admired and appreciated somewhere.”

“See? I knew you’d think of a plan. It’ll be okay, Inara. You’ll see. We’ll just take what comes and deal with it. Like we always do.”

“You’re a wise man, Malcolm Reynolds.” Inara took his face between her hands. “Thank you,” she whispered.

She wanted him to kiss her more than she’d ever wanted a man to kiss her. His blue eyes gazed into hers with such complete vulnerability that she wanted to swallow him whole. His lips were alive with barely controlled energy. His face was only a breath removed from hers, and yet he made no move. This was totally outside her experience. Some men were slow lovers, and some aggressive and over-powering. But she’d never run across one who could resist her when she made herself this available. Was he afraid she’d react to him like she had with Benton? She knew without a doubt that she would never push him away, couldn’t fear him, no matter what. Not this man.

He was waiting for her. The realization blew her away. He respected her feelings in such an intimate way she hardly knew how to react. She knew him to be a man of principle, a loyal man who would do anything for his friends and comrades, even lay down his life. But now she was seeing a deeper layer to his loyalty and love. His adoration was for her alone and it was taking her apart inside. She didn’t even recognize the feelings he was drawing out of her. This was uncharted territory.

“Mal, I…”

“I’m sorry,” he said with a backward jerk. The walls behind his eyes were immediately back in place. Inara’s heart broke into a thousand bits.

“No, don’t,” she cried.

Acting on instinct, she reached out and pressed her lips warmly, insistently on his. It took him a second to respond, but when he did she knew without a shade of doubt that she’d gotten through to him. Suddenly he was kissing her back like a drowning man and his arms were anchoring her in place with superhuman strength. She was completely in his power, but the momentary burst of panic she experienced quickly gave way to the overpowering thrill of ecstasy at being repeatedly, thoroughly kissed by the one man she truly desired. His lips, his ragged breath, his iron grip told her how much he needed her, wanted her. For the first time in her life, Inara felt loved to the core of her being. She knew she could never settle for anything less again.

“I should go, ‘Nara. You need time to heal; to think through what you want and all.” Mal managed to say. He released her and moved away, trying to control his breathing.

“I know what I want. What about you?”

Mal turned back to face her. His face was alight with love.

“I want you to stay on my ship.”

He was out the door before she could respond.

Mal was right. She needed time to heal, to grow, to reinvent herself. He was giving her that time in the sweetest way possible, by letting her know how much he cared; by as much as telling her he would wait for her.

Finally, Serenity was well and truly her home. Forever.

* * * * *

A/N: Finis… hopelessly romantic, I know, but I wrote it the way I saw it!