Firefly, Serenity, and all related proprietary characters are the intellectual property of Joss Whedon and corporations with whom I have no affiliation. Said property does not belong to me, and the fictional story below is of my own creation. (I don’t own ‘em, just like to play with ‘em!) ********************** Jayne was still lifting when River entered the cargo bay. Walking down the steps from the catwalk, River stepped behind the bench to stand behind Jayne, looking down at his head. “He should not lift so much weight without a spotter, dangerous.” Jayne had been so engrossed in counting out his last set that he hadn’t noticed River’s approach. “Whoa, where’d you come from? Do you have some overwhelming desire to see me get spaced? You shouldn’t be down here by yourself with me, people are like to get the wrong idea, and I’ll be taking a walk outside without a suit.” River straightened up for a moment, apparently staring off into space. “He need only concern himself with the males. The females might be alarmed, but they will respect the girl’s ability to choose her own company. Doesn’t matter right now, chuán zhăng and piào liang fū ren are in the kitchen, quickly becoming intoxicated. Nǚ zhàn shì is on the bridge, trying to find buyers for the gun scopes. Gē ge and jiě jie are in his bunk… I thought jiě jie was mad at gē ge, why would she...” River wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Oh… that won’t be pleasant for him… jiě jie can be evil when she’s mad.” River giggled for a moment before snapping out of her trance, and grabbed the bar from Jayne’s hands, effortlessly lifting it into its holder. “Told you, not safe, can’t let you be crushed to death. The girl won’t let them space you, not your fault that she needs supervision. Besides, this girl needs your help.” “Huh? How’d you do that? With all the weight I got on it, that bar has to be more than that gorram case, must be twice what you weigh.” Jayne sat up and swung his legs around to sit on the bench facing River. “And how exactly am I gonna help you? You’re the resident genius on this boat.” “The bar weighs two point four times as much as her. The bar need only weigh one point six times this girl’s body weight to snap his neck if he were to drop it. That’s why he needs a spotter. Does he wish to continue? She will act as his spotter. Her inquiry can wait until he is finished.” Jayne shook his head. “Naw, I’m done for the night, that was my last set. I’ll make ya a deal though. If you can answer some questions for me, and you promise you won’t let nobody space me, I’ll do what ya want, if I’m able. Sound fair?” River shook her head. “The girl feels she is taking advantage. She wishes to stipulate that in addition to his terms, she will act as spotter whenever he wants to lift weights, and if he is willing, she will teach him things. Things he will enjoy, but that will also be useful. Does he find this acceptable?” Jayne nodded. “Fine with me. Ya need to write this down, like a contract or anything? I trust yer word, but I can see how mine might not be no good, given our history.” River smiled. “His words are acceptable. The past is just that, he will not repeat it. But why doesn’t he want to know what she wants before he agrees? What if she asked him to steal something from a crew member? Surely he would not want to do that, but by the agreement, he would have no choice.” Jayne smirked. “Do ya really expect me to believe that you’d ask me ta do something to one of the other crew? Even you aren’t that insane, I might actually do it, and then where would you be?” River nodded. “He makes a good point. He is much smarter than he lets others think. He and the girl have an agreement. What would he like to ask her?” “Well there’s a few things I been meaning to ask ya, ever since we left Universe’s moon, but up until today, I figured you still didn’t like me none and ya wouldn’t answer me, or worse yet, ya’d kick my ass again, like in the Maidenhead. Not that I don’t deserve it, but we seemed to be doing ok, lookin’ after everybody when it was just the two of us, and I didn’t wanna piss you off again. You mind any if I wanna ask some now, but if I think of s’more, I can ask ‘em later?” “She didn’t hurt him on purpose in the bar on Beaumonde, she couldn’t control what she was doing. She will not intentionally harm him in the future either. But to answer his question, the girl does not mind. He can ask her as many questions as he likes, whenever he would like, and she will answer them if she can.” “Shiny. Ok, first thing I wanna ask is why ya talk all weird. Not the riddle talk, I figure that’s cause you’re a genius. But why ya don’t ever use people’s names, and why ya don’t say ‘I’ or ‘me’? When ya want to say somethin’ ‘bout yerself, ya always say ‘she’ or ‘the girl’ or ‘this girl’ or somethin’ like that. And you always use Mandarin nicknames for crew, ‘cept me… I’m always ‘he’ or somethin’ like that, like ya when talk about yerself.” “She knows their names. Mal, Zoë, Jayne, Kaylee, Inara, Simon, and River. Seven of us, but there’s supposed to be more. Wash and Book have been lost to us, can’t be replaced, but we are supposed to be at least ten. Doesn’t understand, can’t comprehend! Doesn’t make sense!” River began hyperventilating, and gripped the weight bar so tightly her hands began turning white. “Hey! Stop that! Gonna make yourself sick, come ‘ere!” Jayne grabbed River by the waist and swung her over the bar, landing in his lap. Grasping her head and turning it, Jayne forced River to look towards the bay doors. “Gorramit, focus! You pick a spot over there, and you don’t do nothin’ but stare at it.” River did as she was told, and after a few moments, her breathing slowly returned to normal. “How did he do that? She is grateful, but confused.” Jayne let go of River’s face and slid her back onto the bench in front of him. “Ya ever use a sniper rifle before?” River shook her head. “Ya have to keep yer breathing perfectly even, so’s ya don’t twitch. At five hundred yards, you cough and you miss yer target by a foot. So ya have to stare at something, usually what you wanna shoot, and make yer body focus on just two things: keepin’ yer breathing even and keepin’ lined up on yer target. As yer breathing evens out, it slows down.” “Ignore everything else, focus on the two tasks. She understands and comprehends! She thanks you! Sometimes she is thinking about something and the bad tries to steal her away, she can’t look at it or it wins. Why everyone thinks the girl is crazy, she can’t control what she does when she looks away. But this new idea is good, helps her stay in control.” River leaned back against the weight rack, her neck against the bar. “She will try to answer his question again. Can’t use real names, hands of blue could listen if they were close enough. If they find us, they will break her, finish making her not a girl anymore. She can’t always tell when they are close by, unless they are looking for her, so she uses nicknames in case the hands of blue are hiding in the dark spaces, where she can’t see.” “So’s ya don’t use our names because ya think those agents with the freaky blue gloves can listen to your brain if they’re around? Makes sense. Could they listen to the rest of us too, if they thought of it, and knew who to listen to? That’s downright unsettling… one of us saying yer name gets us tracked down by those bastards.” An involuntary shudder at that thought caused Jayne’s body to quiver, but River didn’t seem to notice. “The hands of blue can’t hear you or the others. Your brains are different, simpler. They can listen to the girl because they know hers is different, know what hers sounds like after they changed it. He asked her why he doesn’t have a nickname like the others. It’s because he’s like her, he’s a boy on the outside, but a weapon on the inside. She doesn’t understand how to give weapons nicknames, doesn’t work right.” River sighed, closing her eyes. “The other part of his question is more difficult. She refers to herself in the third person because she doesn’t have a name anymore. River Tam died two years, three months, six days, and seven hours ago. They killed her with needles and scalpels, tore at her insides, trying to make her something she wasn’t. Now all that’s left is the broken girl on the outside with no name, and the weapon on the inside. They broke her forever and River Tam cannot come back to fix her. She trained herself to respond when someone wants River, but River doesn’t answer, only the broken girl. Does he understand and comprehend?” “I think so. I’m like you, huh? I ain’t a genius though. But I’m thinkin’ ya mean the part ‘bout how I’m good at killin’ folk. Don’t know if I ever told ya before, leastways not to yer face, but I’m real sorry ‘bout what those bastards did to you, every one of ‘em deserves to rot in Book’s ‘special’ hell. The ‘verse is an unfair place sometimes. But yer thinkin’ what they did to ya makes you not a person any more? Can’t say as I agree with that, but think I know what you mean… hard for most folk to just kill other folk. Just ‘cause it’s my job don’t make it right all the time. I’m thinkin’ that’s what makes you a person, if sometimes ya wish ya didn’t have to kill folk. Sometimes ya feel bad after, right?” “He does understand and comprehend. She always feels bad after she kills, even the people at the Academy, except for the Reavers. She has no remorse for dead Reavers. River Tam wasn’t supposed to be a killer, but this girl is. River Tam could control the weapon, so they had to kill her too. This girl has only limited control, sometimes the weapon controls her.” Jayne hadn’t realized it, but he had taken River onto his lap again and was holding her in his arms. Ruttin’ bastards… “Well, I think it don’t matter if we’re weapons or not, you and me, we’re still people too. And people gotta have names, so how ‘bout I give both of us nicknames, like ya have for everybody else? Know ya said ya don’t know how, but maybe I can help with that. Would that make ya happy?” “That would make her a real girl, if she had a name… and you are already a real boy, so you should have a name too! Yes, it would make her very happy if you helped her find names… but she has no way to compensate you. Not right to take without giving, she must find something worthy of his help to give to him.” River’s eyes went wide in realization that she had nothing to offer Jayne. “Hey now, hold on a second, don’t fret! It’s ok, focus, right?” Jayne ran his hand over her arm a few times until River calmed again. “No need to be givin’ me anything. You just gave me a small fortune in gun scopes, and you saved ‘Nara from who knows what. Besides, you bein’ happier… that’d be plenty good enough, after all the gŏu shĭ done to ya, if all it takes is me doin’ a little thinkin’. You wanna just sit for a bit while I do that? If ya want, ya can tell me about what it was you need help with.” “She would like to sit with you… she would like it very much. But we must wait to consider my request. Time isn’t right yet, we haven’t made all the right steps. Would he like her to continue talking, or would he prefer quiet?” River was secretly praying he’d opt for the first of those options. “Don’t need my permission to talk, I ain’t yer lord ‘n’ master. You can do as ya please. Anybody as tells ya different ain’t someone you should be payin’ any mind to, ya ain’t a slave to nobody. You said ya talk in that other person ‘cause you don’t have a name no more, right? If you get a new name, think ya can make it stop?” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Jayne wanted to take them back. River was instantly on the verge of tears. “He is correct, a new name would mean she would no longer have to refer to herself in the third person. He thinks she’s still crazy, a child to be coddled, and her odd speech disturbs him. She should not have bothered him, he must feel very uncomfortable. She will go away now and leave him be.” River started to get up, but found Jayne’s arms around her, holding her tight. “Shh, don’t go… and don’t cry none neither. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt yer feelings, honest. Don’t think you’re crazy, just different is all. Makes you act a little odd sometimes, but who the hell doesn’t? Hell, this whole boat’s gotta be at least a little crazy, flyin’ through Reaver territory on purpose. But that ain’t what I meant when I asked if you could make it stop.” “Can you explain to her, she doesn’t understand. She wants to comprehend, like a real girl.” “Ya know how the Operative said he was lettin’ us go? He said ‘til Parliament figures out he ain’t workin’ fer them anymore, only ones chasin’ us are them freaky people with the blue gloves. I figure that means you can go planet-side every once in a while now, if we disguise ya a bit. But most people ain’t used to the way ya talk, liable to be all creepified. Remember them hill people, tried burnin’ you and yer brother? Like as not, they got all scared ‘cause they didn’t understand ya. That’s what people do to things they don’t understand, try and kill ‘em. If you could talk like the rest of us, less chance of someone freakin’ out and causin’ problems, which makes Mal more like to let you wander about for a bit when we’re grounded.” “The girl could leave the ship? Walk in towns and cities, go shopping, be a real girl? She would very much like that! Could the girl go on jobs too? She can see the lies people tell, perhaps she can help. The girl needs to be useful, must be able to pay her own way, learn to fend for herself.” Jayne took a moment to ponder this, his face contemplative. Would be nice to know ahead of time if someone was tryin’ to double-cross us… “Think you could definitely go about in town and such. Might not even need yer brother with ya if somebody agrees to tag along, ain’t safe for nobody goin’ off alone on most worlds. I dunno about the jobs though, that’d be up to Mal. Jobs can be kinda dangerous sometimes, and you have to be able to protect yourself. I’d be real upset if you got shot or somethin’ and it were my fault for not shootin’ fast enough. After all the good work we done together, what with lookin’ after folk and fixin’ the boat up, yer like my partner now.” “She doesn’t know if she could protect herself without hindering you, or nǚ zhàn shì, or chuán zhăng. Don’t want any of you to get hurt because you had to watch out for her too. She can’t protect herself with a gun, the rule is ‘no touching guns.’ The girl could protect herself in hand to hand combat, but not against bullets, body armor is not entirely foolproof, and cannot protect the girl’s head. The girl must find an alternate solution.” “Well don’t go torturin’ yerself ‘bout it. I figure we can do that eventually, but there’s no rush. We’re in the black for at least another couple days before we hit dirt again on Persephone. Wait a minute, thought you already had a nickname? What is it Mal always calls you?” “Chuán zhăng calls the girl ‘li’l Albatross’ or some variation thereof. But it isn’t the girl’s name, she isn’t a bird, and the name isn’t hers, it belongs to Chuán zhăng. Like ‘Kaylee-bear’ isn’t jiě jie, that belongs to you or Chuán zhăng. Or like ‘Captain Tight-Pants’ isn’t Chuán zhăng, that belongs to jiě jie. She needs her own names for you and the girl, those who could be weapons.” “Hmm… so it has to be special, can’t be something other people call us already.” Don’t want to suggest nothin’ violent like, not fer her. Bad enough she already thinks she’s a gorram weapon, think someone oughta do somethin’ ‘bout that. She ain’t no princess neither though, wouldn’t fit her. Maybe somethin’ pretty-like… “What’s yer favorite flower, little one?” “The girl’s favorite flower? The lotus blossom, symbol of mysteries and truths. The lotus is just like her, blooming in darkness, hiding from the big sun like she hides from the blue one. Does he think it fits? Could the girl be hé huā kāi huā?” “Right quick one you are. Doesn’t sound quite right though… how ‘bout xiăo hè on account of how yer growin’ still?” That was almost too easy, wonder why she couldn’t do it… “It’s perfect! I am xiăo hé huā, just beginning to bloom, not yet old.” River beamed with pride, realizing she had spoken in the first person. “It must be right, no more third person, I can be me now that I have a name!” “Shiny, xiăo hè. Good for you!” “Now we must find one for you.” River leaned back against the weight rack again for a moment, until Jayne saw comprehension dawning on her face. “I know how it works now! Names aren’t what you do, names are what you are. Chuán zhăng is our leader. Piào liang fū ren is a beautiful woman, but always a lady. Nǚ zhàn shì watches our backs. Gē ge is my brother and jiě jie is my sister. We both kill people, because we are weapons, but that isn’t what we really are. I am a mystery, I know many truths, and I hide from the cerulean sun, so I am hé huā kāi huā. You are also a fighter, like chuán zhăng and nǚ zhàn shì, but your purpose is to protect. Therefore your name must have something to do with being a protector. What else are you?” Jayne scratched his chin, deep in thought. “Besides a man? Good at trackin’, I guess. Definitely drink more’n my fair share. Definitely good at… umm never mind that. Uh, I dunno.” “No, not what you do… what you are! What it is that makes you special…oooo! I have an idea. Do you mind if I… umm… peek?” River’s eyes were sparkling, she was practically giddy at the possibility Jayne might say yes. ______________________________ gŏu shĭ – shit; Réncí de Fózǔ – Merciful Buddha; mèi mei – sister (younger)

gē ge – brother (older); fēng kuáng dì – crazy; bèn lǘ wú zhī – stupid-ass ignorant

Tā mā dì mĕi gè rén zài yŭ zhòu hè shí bā gè hòu dài, tā men dì zŭ xiān sĭ xíng! – Fuck everyone in the ‘verse and eighteen generations of their ancestors to death!

bǎo bèi – precious; Qĭng jìn lái – Please come in; wŏ de mā! – my god! (lit. my mother!)

Chuán zhăng – Captain; piào liang fū ren – pretty lady; piào liang dì fū ren dì jīng xĭ – pretty lady’s surprise

nī zi – little girl; Shén shèng dì pái xiè wù – Holy excrement

jiě jie – sister (older); nǚ zhàn shì – female warrior

hé huā kāi huā – lotus blossom; xiăo hè – little lotus; xiăo hé huā – little lotus flower