Firefly, Serenity, and all related proprietary characters are the intellectual property of Joss Whedon and corporations with whom I have no affiliation. Said property does not belong to me, and the fictional story below is of my own creation. (I don’t own ‘em, just like to play with ‘em!) ********************** River was very pleased with herself, and also with Jayne, although she did feel a little guilty for deceiving Kaylee. Jayne had indeed gotten her discrete message and, all outward indications to the contrary, was very much looking forward to going to see Inara. It simply would not do to have the mechanic finding out too soon about the potential developments between herself and Jayne, but River promised herself that she would make it up to Kaylee somehow; perhaps prodding Simon in the right direction would fit the bill. Stupid gē ge, can’t see what’s right in front of his face. Stupid chuán zhăng, too! Serenity has to be a family, and all families have little families. Without family, everything falls apart. So there has to be little families on Serenity. The beginnings of an idea popped into the teen’s mind, and she smiled into her pillow as her conscious mind shut down, succumbing to sleep. Meanwhile, Jayne had discreetly made his way to Inara’s shuttle, not wanting to draw any further attention to himself, and quietly knocked on the edge of the open door frame. Inara pulled back the curtain a moment later and ushered the mercenary in before pulling the shuttle door shut behind her, locking it, and throwing the curtain back in place. After looking around for a second, Inara frowned slightly as she realized there was no place for Jayne to sit, except for beside her on the bed, where River had been previously. Every chair, half the bed, and most of the floor were still covered in various bags. “Who knew River would need so many things? I knew she was mostly working with hand-me-downs, but I never imagined just how little she had. Jayne, would you be so kind as to help me bring these to River’s room tomorrow and assist in putting things away?” Only getting a nod in response, Inara could tell something was bothering the hired gun. “This is such a mess. Would you mind sitting on the floor?” Jayne silently slid to the floor, crossing his legs underneath each other as he did so, and the former companion followed suit. They sat quietly there for a few moments, until Jayne couldn’t stand the internal tension that had building up in his head. “So what’s the deal? I mean, you hardly ever do anythin’ without a reason, so why’d ya want me?” “River and I spoke about a few things, some of which pertain to you. I thought it would be in your best interests that you be made aware of our discussion.” Inara’s smooth words revealed little that the mercenary should not have already known, but for some reason that she didn’t really understand at the time, it brought Inara immense satisfaction to be playful with Jayne. The mercenary scowled. “Well even I could’ve figured that one out!” “Was I incorrect to assume you would be interested?” Inara’s chiding voice elicited a mumbled “no” from a chastised Jayne. He’s nervous, unsure if he wants to know the truth. Once he knows for sure, he will be unable to claim ignorance. “Jayne, this is very important. If you do not think you can handle it, just say the word, I will help River, and no one else will ever know. I will not think any less of you either way, but you need to be honest.” Jayne couldn’t bring his eyes to meet Inara’s. I ain’t lettin’ her see I’m scared. Jayne Cobb ain’t scared of nothin’! But that girl’s gonna get me dead, an’ I’m more afraid of leavin’ her on her own again than I am of dyin’. “I ain’t responsible enough. This goes the way I’m thinkin’, one day she’s gonna do somethin’ gorram stupid, I’m gonna try savin’ her, and one of us is gonna end up dead.” Jayne’s hands balled into fists against the cold metal floor. “An’ I can’t help but hope it’s her, ‘cause she’d go nuts if she thought she got me killed. Like on Miranda…” Jayne didn’t need to finish his sentence. Inara knew exactly what he was picturing: River covered in Reaver blood, looking almost feral and ready to kill anyone who approached. “River said something on that subject tonight… that she is yours to protect, because you claimed her from the Operative. But she wishes to become your guard in the same way that you are hers, even if that is all you will be.” Jayne’s startled eyes snapped to Inara’s face. “Why? Watchin’ out for me is only gonna get her a bullet… she don’t deserve that.” “She trusts you, Jayne, with her life.” Inara shook her head sadly. “That’s why she has allowed you to become her protector. She truly believes you will not let her die. And in turn she wants you to trust her, allow her to show you the same devotion that you show her.” Inara gave a wan smile as she looked across at the mercenary. “River does not wish to die, because it would mean that you failed, and she does not want you to feel guilt. Much as you do not wish to die, because you fear her reaction to your death.” Jayne sat in silent contemplation for a few moments before unclenching his hands and taking one of the bags beside him. “We’re both more ‘fraid how the other’s gonna be without us than actually dyin’… and we used to gorram hate each other. Kinda ironic, ain’t it?” Jayne fished through the bag for a moment before triumphantly pulling out the small knife and sheath he had bought for River, and fetching a sharpening stone from a pocket of his cargo pants. Inara watched Jayne methodically work the blade over the stone. “You never hated each other. Perhaps ‘misunderstood’ or ‘irritated’… but you know as well as I do that River could not hate you, no matter what you did to her. Even after you turned her over to the Alliance on Ariel, she was willing to forgive you. And I do not believe for a minute that you ever truly hated River.” Jayne didn’t look up from the blade, although he visibly tensed at the mention of his betrayal. “Thought the only ones that knew ‘bout it were Mal and the Tams. Kinda surprised yer even talkin’ to me, or ya ain’t killed me in my sleep, knowin’ ‘bout that.” Jayne’s voice was even, but in his mind, he was frantically trying to come up with a plan to escape without hurting Inara. If Zoë or Kaylee found out, I’d be floatin’ in the black before I even got a word out. “Relax, Jayne. I can only imagine how you convinced Mal not to kill you, but River only said that you had learned your lesson, and you would never do something so foolish again. And I believe her, so I won’t tell Zoë or Kaylee what you did, because neither is likely to be as forgiving.” Inara reached over and stilled Jayne’s hand from its task. “But back to my original subject… I have been asked to inform you that River would like to explore the possibility of becoming more than your friend. I will tell you that River is completely serious, but she does fear that she would hurt you, if things did not work out. To that end, she said she would understand if you are not willing, and would very much like to remain your friend. So what do you have to say, Jayne?” The mercenary stared at the petite hand covering his own before looking up. “Well, who the gorram am I to tell her no? She’s gone through more gŏu shĭ than everybody else on this boat put together. So if that’s what she wants, it’s her funeral… well, maybe mine, but don’t care ‘bout that so much.” Jayne’s eyes became steely for a moment. “I don’t want ya tryin’ to be a hero if Mal, or her brother, get it in their heads to space me. You knew nothin’ ‘bout it, and bein’ her… whatever it is you are… yer just as outraged as they are, corruptin’ an innocent little girl or some such. Ya try an’ get in the way an’ ya got no idea what Mal would do… I ain’t gonna ruin any more lives, done ‘nough of that already.” Inara’s eyes flashed with determination. “No, Jayne. I’ll sooner go back to the Guild than leave you defenseless. You know as well as I do that neither would listen to a word that you or River have to say, and they will not hesitate to put you in the airlock without a suit if they find out about this and are not persuaded otherwise. And if you let them kill you, I cannot even begin to imagine what River might do. Think of River, Jayne, then tell me again to stand aside.” Inara let go of Jayne’s hand, which she had unconsciously been squeezing as she responded. Jayne sobered immediately, sheathing the knife and putting it back in the bag, along with the whetstone he had been using. Gorram! What’d I get myself into now? Day someone finally kills me, xiăo hè is gonna go all fēng kuáng dì ‘gain, and she’s gonna slaughter a whole mess of people. Or maybe she’ll go back to like she was ‘fore Miranda… ain’t right, her bein’ all sad and confused, ‘cause some fancy scientists couldn’t just let things be. Jayne tried to cast aside the mental picture that formed involuntarily, opening another bag at his side and pulling out a dark blue dress River had selected. Running the soft material gently between his fingers, Jayne tried to imagine a smiling River, wearing her pretty new dress, but the image wouldn’t come. The picture remained River sitting in a corner, covered in blood and crying. Jayne’s features stiffened as he forced the image out of his head, trying to focus on Inara. “Ain’t right, ‘Nara, what’s gonna happen one day someone finally kills me. But ya know what’s best for her, so ya just tell me an’ I’ll do it.” Inara wasn’t quite sure what to say to that, so the pair sat in silence for a few minutes. Inara followed Jayne’s example and began browsing through the many bags that were around her. It’s not quite what she would have had on Osiris, but it’s a start. This reminded the former companion of something Jayne had said earlier. “You know… River asked me something earlier… she hasn’t had a mother or father for a number of years, unless you count Simon. She wanted to know if… if I would be her mother, and if Mal would be her father. I tried to explain to her that it couldn’t be official, that it would be too dangerous, but she didn’t seem to care. She said that no one matters if they do not call Serenity home, and those who do would approve.” Jayne’s jaw had dropped at some point during this explanation, and seemed frozen in place, which amused Inara to no end when she finally noticed. “Jayne, if there were flies in the black, your mouth would be full of them!” The mercenary’s jaw quickly snapped shut, and he had the good sense to appear abashed by the reprimand. “Well? Do you care to comment?” Jayne’s face was one of abject horror. “Ya do understand that if Mal decides he’s gonna be her pa, there ain’t never gonna be no one good ‘nough for her, and def’n’ly not me. Ya sure xiăo hè really thought this through?” Inara shook her head. “I do not think River sees it that way, and I believe I have discovered her plan. If he were to agree, I imagine before a week was up, she would ask me to help her ask Mal for permission to date, in a very general way. I expect River believes that he would be unable to find a good reason to say no and give permission. She tells Mal that she intends to date you, and that a reasonable father would not interfere so long as you did not hurt her. That would take care of Mal, and having parents again, she would expect them to fend off any objections from Simon. It is really rather ingenious when you think about it.” Inara suddenly frowned. “Do you think River truly wants me to be her mother, or Mal to be her father? Or is this just her plan to subvert her brother and Mal? I have no idea if I would even be a suitable parent.” Now it was Jayne’s turn to shake his head. “Xiăo hè ain’t like that… she wouldn’t ask somethin’ like that ‘less she really meant it. Way I hear it, them lousy excuses fer people that used to claim she was their kid, ain’t never paid her any mind. Let the servants or whoever watch her lots of times, didn’t even see her, ‘cept at dinner, most days. If that happened t’me, I’d’ve written off the whole idea, but she’s different. Needs folk who’ll look after her, tell her she’s special an’ shiny, an’ tell her bein’ different don’t make her a monster.” Inara nodded sullenly, still not quite believing the words. “What if I make mistakes? What if she doesn’t like it? What if—” The mercenary cut her off, gently squeezing her hand. “That’s nonsense. You’ll do just shiny, ‘cause ya love her like she’s yers. That’s all a kid ever really wants… love and family.” Unbidden, images of his own childhood came to mind, and Jayne was saddened as he remembered what he had lost. Inara could not find words, so she did the next best thing. Flinging herself into Jayne’s arms and a tight embrace, she cried softly into his shoulder. Tears of joy for the most part, as she felt overwhelmed by Jayne’s support and was beginning to realize that she could indeed be a good mother, but some of sadness fell as well. She knew only a little of Jayne’s youth, but it was enough that she could tell what he was thinking of as his face became sorrowful. When combined with the reminder of Simon and River’s experiences with their parents, Inara was determined to be a better parent than those that her friends had. A slightly startled mercenary gently peeled the crying woman off his lap, lowering his voice to an amused whisper. “Gorramit… what is it with you and xiăo hè? Always cryin’!” That earned him a watery smile and a light punch to the bicep. “See, now that’s more like it. Violence I can deal with, but cryin’ women-folk I can’t stand!” Another punch followed the first, a little harder, but still playful. “Gee, someone really oughta teach ya how to punch. Ya hit like a girl!” Inara smirked as she landed a third punch in Jayne’s chest, but still without any real force. “That’s because I am a gir—woman, Jayne.” Jayne only laughed as he got to his feet. “I oughta be goin’, ‘fore Mal comes lookin’ for one of us.” He had almost made it to the door before Inara managed to refocus herself. “Aren’t you forgetting something, Jayne?” As the mercenary paused and looked over his shoulder, Inara raised an eyebrow questioningly. “What should I tell River?” Jayne chuckled as he pulled back the curtain and unlocked the shuttle door. “That little bit has the both of us wound so far ‘round her finger, ya already know what ya gotta tell her. Just lemme know whatever the gorram it is I oughta be doin’.” And with a trademark Jayne grin, he was gone, presumably off to his bunk. Inara could only smile as she allowed herself to collapse backwards against the edge of her bed. If only he knew exactly how right he was… The former companion sat for a few more moments, simply enjoying the silence of the shuttle, before resigning herself to the fact that she was not yet tired, and needed to be productive. An hour later, Inara had carefully organized River’s new things into three piles on the bed, and the shuttle was otherwise devoid of any clutter save one large bag on the floor, filled to overflowing with crumpled shopping bags. The first pile was new clothing. River seemed to prefer flowing dresses, but at Inara and Jayne’s insistence, there were an equal number of outfits consisting of short-sleeve shirts and cargo pants, or blouses and skirts. After the latter items were suggested by the former companion, the mercenary had demanded that she have good work clothing, as it seemed he intended to lobby for her presence on jobs whenever possible. Along with new undergarments and socks, a shiny pair of black leather boots and a glittery pair of blue high-heels that Inara had specially picked out rounded out the selection. The next heap was an extensive collection of soaps, shampoos, and other hygiene products, one that would rival Inara’s own. But River had specifically insisted that she wished to share everything with all of the female crew, to make up for the year that the teen had been the ship’s charity case. Furthermore, the teen was adamant that she would be paying both Jayne and Inara back in full for these items as soon as she obtained currency, despite Inara’s objections. River had to threaten that she would not use any of the products at all and would allow herself to become unclean, until the pair accepted repayment, before they relented. The last group of items was the most varied, ranging from the new hair brush that had seen use earlier, to the knife and whetstone Jayne had contributed, to a voluminous sketch book and a box of colored pencils that had driven River nearly mad with glee. Most of her drawings up to this point had been in pen, pencil, charcoal, or the occasional calligraphy brush when Inara was unoccupied and could take time to help her to learn the correct technique. Only on one or two occasions had River been able to procure a few very old crayons or colored pencils, and those had long since been used up, so the chance to add color to her work on a regular basis was a golden opportunity. River has so much talent, and she loves her artwork! If only there was a safe way to give her better opportunities to develop it… what a waste of potential, destroying one of the best examples of humanity in the name of experimentation! Inara pushed away her anger, resolute not to let it grow so much as to wake River. Since joining Serenity, on the very few occasions that a crew member had become so distraught as to disrupt the teen’s sleep, the poor girl was inconsolable for hours, and was easily prone to violence. Inara preferred not to think on the particulars of what was happening in River’s mind during such incidents, but the clarity of exceedingly morbid images River described in half-sobs and screams was incentive enough to curtail her thoughts. Deciding that it would be far easier for Jayne to carry a package than the loose piles currently on the bed, Inara moved to her carefully disguised storage closet to remove her luggage. But upon opening the door, she was brought back to the evening that Zoë and Kaylee had come to her shuttle, after the former had put a hysterical River to bed, a few days earlier.

****FLASHBACK**** Kaylee hid a yawn behind her hand, but Inara was not fooled. “My goodness, look at the time! Mèi mei, it’s no wonder you’re tired. And after such a stressful evening, I can imagine some sleep would be in order.” As the mechanic got to her feet, she smiled just a little. “Always lookin’ out for me, ain’t ya? Thinkin’ you’re right though, I’m practic’ly fallin’ asleep standin’ here. G’night, ‘Nara, Zoë.” Kaylee made her way out, but left the door open behind her. Zoë got up and went to close it, but something stopped her. Turning to Inara, she glanced over her with a critical eye, as if deciding something. “Will you wait for a moment? There’s one other thing before I go to bed, but I’m not rightly sure I want anyone else knowin’ ‘bout it.” Zoë’s apprehension caused her to stiffen slightly. Inara simply nodded. “I will keep your confidences, Zoë. You are my friend, and I am glad that you place such trust in me.” Zoë was only gone a few minutes, but when she returned, there was a piece of paper carefully held in front of her. “She drew this, said it was his favorite. Then she told me…” Handing the paper to Inara, Zoë threw herself face-down onto the bed, attempting in vain to hold back tears, and lowering her voice almost to an inaudible whisper. “She said I could still meet him some day… she said she didn’t know how or why or anything like that, but that it could still happen.” Inara could only gasp as she gazed at the picture. One of River’s very few color drawings, it featured Wash aside his wife, as the latter held a baby boy, no more than a year old at most. The boy had large smoke gray eyes and dirty blond hair, both compromises of his parents’ respective features, and skin light like his father, though not as pale. His mother was smiling wide, his father with his arms wrapped around them both. Neither moved or said anything for what seemed like hours, but in reality, was only minutes before Zoë pulled herself up to sit on the edge of the bed and looked up at Inara. “She can’t be right, can she? It’s impossible, but River’s never wrong… not when she’s like… that.” The first mate wrung her hands in an uncharacteristic display of frustration. This disturbed Inara so much that she could not even move to comfort Zoë. Her friend was usually the picture of stoicism, and this response unnerved the former companion. “What do you mean, Zoë? What was River like?” Zoë shook her head. “Distant and sad, like the night Early came when she was in the bay with that gun. Coherent, but in another place. Or like Simon said ‘bout the time they got snatched by the hill-folk, how she knew we were coming.” She balled the edges of the bed cover in her hands, her face blushing in shame. “I wanted to hit her, call her a liar, but I couldn’t. Her bein’ wrong, ain’t her fault.” Inara’s lack of response encouraged Zoë to keep talking. “What I wanted to ask was… can you… keep this for me? In my bunk, all it’ll be is a reminder… one I don’t need… but it ain’t right to destroy it, not when River worked so hard. I think she really believes that… it could still happen. I know it can’t, but…” ****END FLASHBACK****

Inara was jolted back to the present by a knock on her door. “Just a moment.” Taking out three of her suitcases, Inara took one last glance at the picture before carefully closing the closet door. “Qĭng jìn lái. It’s open.” Inara looked to the door as she opened the first suitcase on her bed to hold River’s new clothing. “Mal, what a pleasant surprise! And you remembered to knock!” The captain scowled at the verbal jab, but seemed otherwise undeterred. “Can’t be havin’ you complaining ‘bout how I never listen. Unhappy crew is bad for morale.” Still ensconced in the doorway, Mal hadn’t yet moved except to open the curtain. “I am perfectly content, Captain, for the first time in a long time. You will hear no complaints from me. Please come in, sit down if you like. Is there something I can help you with?” Inara smiled as she closed the first suitcase and began loading the second. Mal’s typically stern face lit up for a moment, but Inara missed it as she turned to set the first bag on the floor. “That there is, but lemme help you with these first.” Swinging the third suitcase onto the bed, Mal picked up the entire pile of River’s new odds and ends, and set the whole thing gently into the bag. Closing it and the other suitcase, Mal deposited both at the foot of the bed aside the first, and turned back to Inara beside him. Inara could barely suppress a giggle; the grin on Mal’s face was absolutely ridiculous. The rest of him would do quite nicely though, if only we could cease the incessant petty bickering. “Thank you, Mal. I’m sure River will appreciate the arrival of her new things tomorrow, and will be grateful for your help.” Taking a seat on the bed, and gesturing for Mal to do the same in the bedside chair, Inara chided herself for such childish thoughts. “Now what can I do for you?” But instead of taking the chair, Mal set himself down next to her on the bed. “Think you can stand to hear me stumble through another apology, bein’ as I am nearly as much of a xiàng zhū yī yàng yú chŭn as Jayne most days?” This time Inara did laugh. “Don’t make fun of him if he isn’t here to defend himself! Besides, I think we both know that’s no longer strictly true.” Inara gave a coy smile as she took Mal’s hand in hers. “You may be a xiàng zhū yī yàng yú chŭn, but you could be my xiàng zhū yī yàng yú chŭn.” Not surprisingly, Mal didn’t quite get the message. “Well, in any case… ain’t right what I said… ‘bout you and the nī zi. I just… lost my temper.” “You are forgiven, Mal. It happens to the best of us.” Inwardly Inara was about ready to give up hope, but decided one more try was in order before conceding defeat. “Speaking of River, who thankfully has no clue about that entire incident as far as I can tell… she did happen to mention earlier that what I sought was right in front of me. Do you have any idea what she could have meant?” Now Mal understood, and he was bursting with excitement. “I conjure she was speakin’ in riddles again. But I’m thinkin’ I might know a decent replacement for whatever she was thinkin’ on.” Mal rubbed his thumb over the hand that was holding his own. Inara smirked. “Really now, Captain? And what exactly--?” But she never got to finish her sentence, as Mal pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Gently leaning back onto the bed, the kiss deepened as the pair held each other close. Nearly an hour passed as the two embraced, culminating what had become nearly a year of tension between the two. Finally Mal gently eased Inara off to lay aside him on the bed, both looking up at the shuttle ceiling. “I really am a xiàng zhū yī yàng yú chŭn, not gettin’ this right sooner.” His bed-mate nodded sagely. “We both are.” Turning her head to look at Mal, she frowned a little, not wanting to change the subject, but feeling obliged. “River didn’t really say that. I was only trying to prod you, which was apparently successful.” The tiny frown disappeared, but her face became more serious. “What she did say… well, ask… was if you and I… would be her parents?” Much to Inara’s surprise, Mal was not visibly upset by the question. “You’ll be a great mother, an’ she needs someone lookin’ after her ‘sides her brother, an’ don’t even get me started on him. Kinda surprised it took this long for her to ask you.” Inara was truly baffled. “How can you be so calm about this? I nearly cried earlier when I told–” She was about to say Jayne before she caught herself, but Mal didn’t seem to notice. “Figure it’s one of them inevitable outcomes, you an’ her. Ain’t any difference to me, since I ain’t fit to be her parent. More’n likely I’ll get shot one of these days, and the doc won’t be able to fix it. Disappointed enough people in the ‘verse, an’ she’s already had enough failures for parents. No need to add on that count.” Mal turned his head to look into Inara’s eyes. “You’ll do just fine. No need for me, she prob’ly just asked so’s she didn’t hurt my feelin’s, which I appreciate, but that don’t change the facts.” Inara’s eyes narrowed. “Réncí de Fózǔ, Malcolm Reynolds! The two of us talked about this, and her feelings will be hurt if you cannot provide a better reason than that! Besides the fact that you are far more suited to parenthood than I am, River needs a father far more than anything else in the world. She needs someone who will teach her about life in the ‘verse, who can back her with more than words of support.” Mal sat up and got off the bed, pacing about the shuttle. “Gorram it! It’s only been an hour, an’ we’re fightin’ again already!” Inara got up and grabbed Mal’s wrist as he passed, standing defiantly in his path to force him to stop and look at her. “If you cannot come up with a better reason, and you refuse her, that poor girl will be destroyed all over again. I will not stand at your side if that happens, regardless of how much we might like or be good for each other!” The fury in Inara’s voice was reflected in her face. “In fact, if such an event should come to pass, I will be leaving Serenity at the next opportunity, taking River with me, and you will never see either of us again!” Throwing down his wrist in disgust, Inara stormed over to the shuttle door, throwing back the curtain. “Please leave my shuttle, and do not return until you have given this matter your full attention.” Mal glared at her as he left, but remained silent as he made his way back to his bunk. Inara waited a few moments until she was sure he had done so, before locking the shuttle and following him towards the crew bunks. Quietly slipping into River’s bunk, she was relieved to find the teen peacefully sleeping. I should stay… in case she wakes up. Moving the chair from the desk aside the bed and grabbing the extra blanket from the foot of the bed, she settled in for the evening, with one hand’s fingers lightly combing River’s unruly hair as the former companion drifted off to sleep, unshed tears welling behind her eyes.

**** RIVER’S DREAM **** River found herself sitting at a table, and on said table were a number of items. The first she noticed was a pad of paper, alongside a pen. Next to that was a little metal box. She recognized the container and knew the contents instantly, so she left the box alone. Next to the box was a calendar, with the next day’s date circled in red, the day after in blue, and the following day in green, alongside a pair of syringes filled with water. Finally there was a metal shipping crate full of MRE’s, similar to what Mal and Zoë would have had as members of the Independent military, but of slightly higher quality, and a smaller case labeled “EMERGENCY WATER SUPPLY,” the cover having been opened to show about twenty plastic bottles filled with said supply. River glanced curiously over the table, studying the items carefully. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do, but she knew there was a purpose. There could be only one reason the metal box was there, and it related to what she had been considering before sleep. So logically it seemed that the other items should be present for the same reason. A few moments of contemplation later, it suddenly came together for the teen, and her grin was wide as she caught her reflection in the shiny metal crate. **** END DREAM ****

River’s eyes flew open as the dream ended, startled to find herself staring at Inara, whose hand was laying on the top of the teen’s head. Taking the appendage in her own hands, River snuggled up against it, contently allowing herself to fall back to sleep.

************************************** gē ge – brother (older); jiě jie – sister (older); mèi mei – sister (younger)

piào liang fū ren – pretty lady; chuán zhăng – captain

nǚ zhàn shì – female warrior; hù wèi zhĕ – bodyguard

bǎo bèi – precious; nī zi – little girl; xiăo hè – little lotus

gŏu shĭ – shit; fēng kuáng dì – crazy

mŭ qīn – mother; fù qīn – father; rú nǚ ér zhĕ – daughter

Réncí de Fózǔ – Merciful Buddha; Qĭng jìn lái – Please come in

xiàng zhū yī yàng yú chŭn – stupid jackass