I own nothing

----

"Albatross, I thought I said we needed to be on Persephone in three days."

"You did."

"So why are we touching down on Oz? Not only is this going to set us back, but it's hot there right now and, frankly, I don't like the way they talk to me. Do we need repairs that badly?"

"No. There's a job."

"We already have a job."

"Not that job. Jayne and I have a job. Well, Pistol and Saint have a job."

"Who?"

"Don't worry, Captain. He's not a real Saint. He won't bring God on your boat. He did once shoot a man at fifty feet with a bent scope, though."

"Hang on. You mean Jayne is calling himself Saint? Or you and Jayne are meeting someone called Pistol and someone called Saint?"

"The first. Also, I'm calling myself Pistol. It wasn't his idea. I chose the names because I knew we didn't want to be too easy to find."

"Because of the Alliance?"

"And to drive up prices. We do good work, and we deserve to be paid well for it."

"Wait, what work?"

"Calm down, Mal, you sound like the Doc. You got your gear, Pistol?"

"Yes. You got your lucky scope, Saint?"

"Sure do. This turkey's as good as bagged."

"Hold up here! You two are headed out to kill somebody!?"

"Not her."

"Well, not unless he can't get a clear shot."

"Sure. But Mal, we're getting paid in real money for this!"

"And he's a bad man and an Alliance officer."

"Real money, Mal, and lots of it! Aw, shoot, River, we gotta go. We're going to miss the whole parade!"

"...Well, don't be too long, I guess. Not that anybody on this boat listens to me anyway."

"Mal? Was that my sister and Jayne I just saw running towards the cargo bay? Why are we stopping on Oz, anyway?"

"Apparently, we needed to stop here so Jayne and River could kill an Alliance officer and get paid for it."

"...WHAT!?"