Hiram Riley owned his own moon. Only a very few people in the 'Verse could lay claim to that and, where you to ask him about his feelings on the matter, he'd tell you that it's not all it's cracked up to be.

First, there was the constant hemorrhaging of money. Unless your piece of rock produced something that was essential and no one else could make it, or you had support from the Alliance, there was never any profit. All his piece of rock produced was rain and mud; neither was special in their make up or design. Tawaret did have a beautiful spring that made the hills explode with color and nary a rain drop to be seen, so he made a fair turn off tourists, but spring lasted all of three weeks, four in a good year and that wasn't enough time to make the kind of money he expected when he first found out he was going to own this piece of go se moon. Second, there were the people. The climate of the place had driven all but a few thousand away and those held on for the thin ray of light that was the tourist season. And those people wanted. That's all they ever did was want. We want more food. We want more money. We want our houses not to get dragged away in the mudslides. We want better protection from the Reavers. Want. Want. Want. Truth be told, he would have been gone ages ago had ne not know that both sides of the 'Verse wanted him dead. The Browncoats would kill him on sight and the Alliance had made it clear that they were never too certain where his true allegiance lay and so here he was and so here he shall remain. And his allegiances? Well, they had only ever been to himself. Luckily, he never forgot a face. The fancified man that Malcolm Reynolds was trying to pass of as one of his crew would have raised red flags for him anyway, the man just didn't belong, but his face set the alarms to going long before his manner did. It took three days, but he finally remembered where he had seen the ji bai before. Pulling up the warrant on his Cortex, Hiram shuddered with pure joy. This little document had circulated heavily near two years ago and then popped up briefly after the Miranda hoax, but it had stuck with him because of the sheer enormity of the reward. He was sure the man with Malcolm had been this Simon Tam, he had ever heard Malcolm's hired muscle refer to the man as "Doc" and the bounty was for a Doctor Simon Tam. True, the reward for Tam wasn't nearly as significant as the one for his sister, but the warrant mentioned "travelling together" and, like they say on Tawaret, "Where there's clouds, there's rain." So, he waved the one person in the whole 'Verse he knew who'd do the wrong thing, without fail. He offered him half of the bounty if they were both present on Serenity and a quarter if it was just the good doctor. He feared briefly that his friend might turn on him, but knew the chances were slim. The man had enough trouble with the Alliance and bringing this kind of attention to himself would ensure that he'd never do business again. It would be much more to his advantage to take his cut and continue on with his little operation. Not that Hiram planned to pay him one little copper. With this kind of money, he could buy a new identity and be long gone before anyone came looking for him. If he was wrong and they found him right away, well that was alright, too. Every good fox knows about going to ground and, after all, it was his moon.

****

Mal and Simon stood on the loading ramp, staring each other down. Behind them, the hustle and bustle of the Evesdown docks did not distract either man from their face off.

“You’re staying on the ship, Doctor, and that’s final,” Mal said to the fuming surgeon “Give Zoe a list of things that you need and we will pick up everything that can be found.”

“But River—”

“River will be fine. In case you haven’t noticed, girl has a way of takin’ care of herself. ‘Sides, Badger likes her. She insulted him. Endeared herself to him somewhat. However that works.”

“I still don’t see why you need—”

“Not your decision to make, Doc,” Mal interrupted “Your sis’ is big enough to make her own decisions and—”

“But she doesn’t make her own decisions, she does what you and everyone else tell her to,” Simon argued “In case you haven’t noticed, she’s still a very sick girl.”

Mal waited to see if Simon was done. When the doctor didn’t say anymore, he continued.

“And it will do her some good to get off-ship. ‘S’been stuck onboard too long. Makes a body tetchy.” Behind them, Jayne was loading the cargo on the mule while River and Kaylee frantically ran back and forth, looking in nooks and crannies and throwing things about. River hurled some rope clear across the cargo bay and cursed loudly in Mandarin. Mal looked at Simon and raised an eyebrow. “And she don’t need no more help getting’ tetchy,” Mal said.

Jayne drove the mule off the loading ramp and jumped out of the driver’s seat. He put on a wide-brimmed hat, a pair of sunglasses, checked his sidearm to make sure it was situated right, and leaned up against the mule, waiting for the other passengers. Mal was about to go and join him when Kaylee came around and stood in front of him, hands on her hips, glaring. A beat later, River had joined her.

“Where is he?” Kaylee asked, her voice deadly.

“Where is who?” Mal answered.

Kaylee poked him in the chest.

“You know gorram well who I’m talkin’ about, Cap’n. Where is Wash?”

Mal put his head in his hands and moaned. “I told you not to name the gorram thing, Kaylee,” he said “You’d only go and get attached to it. And Wash? You named it Wash? Don’t you find that a mite…..inappropriate?”

Zoe walked past them and Mal gave her a look.

“You have anything to do with this?” he asked.

She shook her head once, not looking him in the eye, but a slight smile played at the corner of her lips as she continued on and jumped into the passenger seat of the mule.

“He’ll fly,” Kaylee said “He’s a Wash and I can’t find him. Where. Is. He.”

“I said I’m not a gorram zoo and I meant it,” Mal growled at his mechanic “Yer not keepin’ him, so I don’t see how it matters where he is.”

“But Cap’n” Kaylee said, her voice taking on a new tone “He hatched on Serenity. It’s his home and he was the only one what hatched, so that means something. Plus, River was the first thing he saw. He thinks she’s his mom.”

“I have maternal feelings for him,” River pitched in.

“No,” Mal said.

Both girls opened their mouths to argue, but he held up his hand.

“Just, no.”

“Captain,” Kaylee said “Cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài.”

Kaylee started to storm off and River just glared. Mal sighed and shook his head.

“Kaylee,” he called “Wait.”

Kaylee turned back around and strode up to him, still fuming.

“Yes?”

Mal reached into the inside of his coat and pulled out the baby parrot, who squawked in the sunlight. Kaylee snatched him happily from Mal and cuddled the bird up to her chin.

“He’ll be no trouble, Cap’n, I promise,” she said.

“He better not be, because the first time he is, I’ll—“

“No you won’t,” River interrupted.

Mal gave River a sideways glance trying to figure out if she was threatening him or had just read his intentions. He was more comfortable with the former.

“I love my Cap’n,” Kaylee said, kissing him on the cheek before she disappeared back into Serenity with Wash.

“I didn’t see that playing out that way,” Mal said a little dazed. “C’mon Albatross, Badger’s waitin’ for ya. You know how he likes seeing people from home.”

River gave him a look and walked ahead of him, jumping on the mule. When Mal got there, he sat next to Zoe, looked at her, looked away, and then looked back.

“You know,” he said “You didn’t discourage ‘em and that’s as good as encouragin’ ‘em.”

“Sir, it’s a little bird, how much trouble could he be?”

Jayne chortled from the driver’s seat.

“My ma said that when my little sis’ came along. My pa was goin’ on about how he never wanted a girl and my ma said ‘How much trouble can one little girl be?’ Weren’t long before they realized she’d be the worst of us all. Kitty’s a hellion. Stole a horse afore she was eight. She’s my good girl.”

“Worse than Jayne?” Zoe said out of the side of her mouth.

Mal turned to her, his eyes wide with horror and shrugged his shoulders.

“I had a horse once,” River said “But me da made me sell it. Ev’ry time I’d ride ‘er in the fog, I’d be abed for days with the damp. An’ it’s always foggy on Dyton, dontcha know?”

“Good,” Mal said, unfazed “She’s her again. Let’s go find Badger.”

*****

“Ello, Mal,” Badger drawled “How’s tricks.” `“They’re shiny,” Mal said “So long as you have my money.”

Badger nodded and motioned for his men to take the crates that were sitting in front of Jayne. River stepped out from behind Jayne and Badger’s grin grew wide. “Well, look who we ‘ave here,” he said “It’s…y’know I never caught—“

“Ello, li’l man,” River said “Still on top yer hill?”

“I, well, yes.”

“Good,” she said “Best place for ya. You want ta know a fool, put ‘im on display.”

Badger stared at River hard for a minute. Long enough that Mal felt himself reaching for his gun, but Badger laughed and clapped River on the shoulder. For her part, River didn’t break his arm, but took a step back.

“Funny li’l one, ain’t she?” he asked.

Mal gave a grunt and walked towards Badger’s desk.

“We doin’ business or ain’t we?” he asked.

“We’re doing business,” Badger answered “As a matter of fact, I ‘ave new business for you to do.”

“What would that be?” Mal said, settling into a chair. Zoe sat beside him and Jayne stayed behind, grabbing River’s arm to hold her back when she started to walk towards the Captain.

“Seems the spring season is soon on Tawaret—” Badger started.

“I just left that rock,” Mal said “If you think I’m goin’ back—”

“They’ave themselves a big festival come Spring,” Badger continued. “Food, dancin’, spirits, the whole nine yards. One thing they can’t get themselves is fireworks. Ain’t a moon within travelin’ distance of ‘em that can make them right.”

“And?” Mal said.

“And, they do big tourist business come Spring and Spring don’t last long there. They’re booked up for years. Big names, too. Parliament, Royalty, you name it. It’s the place to be. Never been myself, but they say the flowers are so bright it’s like walking through a painting. So, they only want the highest quality.”

“Again, I say and?”

Badger sighed.

“I got a man on Paquin who has the best quality fireworks in the ‘Verse. He’s been paid and is just waiting for the transport. That’s you. Pick ‘em up, fly ‘em to Tawaret and deliver them.”

He patted the crates beside his desk.

“Then bring be back another full shipment of these and I’ll make it worth your trouble.”

“How much worth?” Mal asked.

“Well, you’d be going out of your way a bit, with Paquin, won’tcha? I say we pay flat fuel rate for the trip to Paquin, standard rate for the fireworks and I’ll pay you standard rate and half again for the cargo you bring back to me. All paid upon delivery.”

Mal stared at Badger.

“How about this,” he said “You pay flat fuel rate for the trip to Paquin, but throw in an extra three hundred credits right now for my crew, cos they’ll want to do something once we’re planet side. You can pay me standard rate for the fireworks and double rate for the cargo I’ll bring back here. And pay me half that again right here because you didn’t inform me my cargo was live. It’s always double rate for live cargo.”

Mal could see the idea pained Badger and he hoped it pained him enough that he decided to get another transport to do this job. He did not want to go back to Tawaret. Badger scrunched up his face, deep in thought and then sighed.

“They aren’t live,” Badger said.

“You open those crates and tell me those gorram things aren’t live. If they had hatched on my ship I woulda spaced them all and you still woulda paid me.”

“Deal,” Badger said.

“Excuse me?”

“I said deal, Captain Reynolds. I agree to your terms.”

“Gorram it,” Mal said under his breath.

“I have the papers here,” Badger said, motioning to a stack of forms “Can you leave right away?”

Mal snatched the forms from Badger’s desk and stood up.

“Yes, we can leave right away,” he said, his tone mocking Badger.

“Good. Always a pleasure.”

He looked over Mal’s shoulder at River and winked at her.

“Good to see you, girl,” he said “Come along next time your in.”

River stuck her tongue out at him and let herself be led out by Jayne. When they were outside, he dropped her arm and she turned to him.

“He’s got a fish on the line,” she said.

Jayne perked up.

“What fish? What d’ya know, Moonie?”

River shrugged her shoulders.

“Can’t see the fish, yet,” she said “Only the scales.”

****

Badger sent one of his men down to the docks to watch the crew of Serenity. When his man returned with news that they had left the planet, he lit himself a cigar and sent a wave to a good friend of his. When he saw Hiram’s face on the screen, he grinned.

“They’re on their way,” he said “Left no more’n an hour ago. Given the stop on Paquin, I’d give them a week. Week and a half at the outside. I’ll be seeing you soon after.”

“Looking forward to it, friend,” Hiram said “Maybe you can enjoy the festivities while you’re here. I’m sure we can find a guest cabin for you.”

“Might do that, just might. I think I needs a vacation.”

He turned off the wave without saying goodbye and started making travel arrangements.

Translations

Cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài. – Fuck you ancestors to the 18th generation. ji bai -- Pussy (an insult, not anatomy)