Kriegel poured over the latest report coming in from Paquin. Several ships had scoured the quadrant, but they found no trace of Serenity. Burning without nav sat guidance was a nice trick to keep them from tracking her, but they would be blind to anything beyond radar or visual range. At that speed, it bordered on suicide, which meant that Captain Reynolds was either desperate, insane, or both. No human remains were found among the debris of the blasted shuttle either, though they could have easily been incinerated. He considered his strategy while he waved Representative Chu-yu to give him an update. “Major General, I hope you have some good news for me,” Chu-yu did not even bother with a greeting. Kriegel squirmed a little behind his screen. “We’ve been unable to locate Serenity. Without a nav sat trajectory, they could have gone anywhere.” “You’re telling me you can’t find one lan bao Firefly?” “There is a lot of space to cover, Representative,” Kriegel defended. “They could be deep between systems by now, or even doubled back into the system from a different point.” “What about Harder?” “No human remains were found in the wreckage. He may not have been on board.” “This is bi bi du mao han bi! You had them, and yet you didn’t get anything!” Kriegel restrained himself. He understood the pressure the representative was under, but he was getting tired of the politician’s exaggerations. “Sir, I think Harder’s status is a moot point by now.” “What makes you say that, Major General Kriegel?” Chu-yu mocked his assessment. “Whatever he knew, he most likely told Reynolds already. It makes no difference if he’s dead or alive, the damage has been done. Reynolds also knows we’re onto him now. What matters, then, is stopping him before he finds an outlet for that information. I think River Tam is the key. We said before, without her, there is no proof.” “You have a notion of how to do that?” Chu-yu raised an appraising eyebrow. “Yes.” He explained his idea to the representative. It was almost by accident that he discovered the impetus for the plot, browsing through her file with Dr. Qin. Chu-yu shook his head when he was done. “It could drive them further out, where we would never find them.” “But they would have nowhere to go. Their friends might become their enemies, and those that didn’t would distance themselves as far as possible.” “You’re sure it will work?” “Dr. Qin’s psychological evaluation agrees that this might be one thing River Tam will still respond to.” “Fine, you have my permission. This better bring us some results.” Chu-yu terminated the wave as abruptly as he had begun it. Kriegel sighed. At least the representative had agreed to the idea. It would bring a lot of scrutiny on the Academy. He would have to double the security measures to keep its real purpose clandestine, but he hoped the pressure it put on Serenity would be greater. He had a few more waves to make, and then a personal visit to get the ball rolling. Serenity was four days out from the encounter with the Lancer and drifting aimlessly. The mood on board was decidedly subdued, everyone keenly feeling their lack of direction in the deep black. Matthias and Anna in particular isolated themselves, too tenderly aware that it was they who brought these most recent set of circumstances on the crew. Mal had called one meeting to advise everyone that rations were limited to two protein supplements each per day. The ten days’ supply purchased with Chrysabel’s advance plus whatever they had leftover from before would barely last them long enough to get anywhere. The reclaimators would hold out their water supply for a bit longer than the food. Not that they had an actual destination. River spent most of those four days on the bridge, keeping them from drifting too far into nothingness. When she was not on the bridge, she sequestered herself in her room. Something had happened to her after the close call with the Lancer. She was on edge, hypersensitive, like the Alliance was about to pop out of the walls any second. Once in the galley Jayne dropped a cup while she was taking her evening rations. She sprung out of her seat and landed in a defensive crouch as if a bomb exploded. Jayne stared at her with a mixture of fear and amusement. She was not amused; she was terrified. She knew what was happening. In her mirror, the change overcoming her features was evident. The cracks were showing through, and each day she felt like more of her slipped through them. She was growing weaker, unable to stop it. She could not even sleep anymore without constant nightmares, and had taken to sneaking shots of Jayne’s whiskey before going to bed. Even then she was fairly certain she had nightmares, but at least she could not remember them the next morning. Her alarm went off and she pulled herself out of bed. The wooziness, a residue of alcohol and sleeplessness, was something she was adapting to already. She tugged on pair of stained cargo pants, formerly Kaylee’s, and a long-sleeve shirt, left her hair in its sleep-styled condition, and climbed out of her bunk to take her turn on the watch. “I’m tellin’ ya, Mal. Someone on this boat’s a gorram thief. Pro’bly them two ‘fugees. I’m lockin’ up my stuff from now on.” Jayne stomped off the bridge past River. She made sure she kept her eyes on the deck. Zoe and Mal were both on the bridge and greeted her with silent nods. Mal got out of his seat so she could take the helm. “So, back to what you were sayin’,” Mal returned to Zoe. “Persephone’s our only option, sir. You said yourself we ain’t got enough supplies to make it anywhere else. That’s why we’re rationing,” Zoe continued the conversation they were in the middle of already. “Persephone’s on the edge of the Core, the heart o’ the Alliance. After what happened, I ain’t takin’ us anywhere near that space. There’s plenty other worlds more friendly.” “But none we could make it to in less than a week and a half. Unless you want to be lickin’ protein bar wrappers out of the recycler.” Mal fumed, wishing she was not right. “We’re already ‘most halfway there,” she added. “River, how long would it take to reach Persephone?” River closed her eyes for a second, willing concentration into her dulled mind. She input some figures into the computer, scanned the readout, and hoped she had not made a mistake. “Approximately eight days from our current position.” “That’s pushin’ us to the limit as it is,” Zoe looked to the captain with raised brows. Mal pursed his lips and folded his arms. “Fine,” he relented, but not without obvious reluctance. “River, set course for Persephone. I’ll find Kaylee. We’re gonna burn as long as we can. Get there fast and get out.” Zoe nodded as Mal tromped off the bridge. She turned her eyes to River. “You okay?” River shuddered. She sensed the woman’s kind concern, but had to resist the urge to snap something harsh at her. “Yes, I am,” she spoke without a glance at Zoe. “Look like you ain’t slept this whole time.” “Yes,” she heard her voice shake with strain. “Talk to your brother about it?” “I’m fine. Leave me alone,” she bit with a sharp glare. The kindness drained from Zoe’s face. She rose and left without another word. River released a shaky breath. Zoe noticed something was wrong, had actually reached out to her, and she cut her down. -Please, my garden, grow for me…- She tried to escape to her place of peace, but it got harder each time. “River,” the com squawked at her. “Kaylee’s gettin’ set for burn. Let me know when you got our course set,” the captain told her. She turned to the nav computer and poured all her mental faculties into the task, glad to not think about anything but numbers for a while. A gentle knock stirred River from near-sleep. It took her a while to remember where she was and what she was doing. She rubbed her eyes. The days and nights were starting to blur together. Waking and dreaming were becoming less distinct, replaced by one muddled mixture of both. “River?” the knock came again, along with Kaylee’s voice from above. She rose sullenly from her bed and opened the hatch. “Hey,” Kaylee forced an awkward smile down the ladder. “Dr. Harder an’ Anna are gonna play us a little music. Wanna come join?” Her first reaction was to decline. Though she knew sleep would not be a refuge, anything involving leaving her room and interacting with the crew was almost too much for her to handle now. But under Kaylee’s pleading gaze, she felt her resistance crumple a bit. There was a real deep concern, and a love behind it. Kaylee was really worried about her friend’s recent decline into reticence. River guiltily remembered her snap at Zoe a few days ago on the bridge. She decided, for Kaylee’s sake, she could manage the interaction. “Okay.” Kaylee’s brightness increased, and River could not help but feel a little infected by it. Even in her garden it was always cloudy or raining now. Kaylee’s smile was like the sun poking through. She followed the mechanic down to the commons. Anna and Matthias were in one corner, tuning up their instruments. Kaylee cuddled on the couch next to Simon. River took a seat in a chair a ways away from everyone else. Anna glanced up at her with a compassionate smile. “Glad you could join us, River.” She got the sense that much of this had been engineered for her benefit, probably at Kaylee and Simon’s request. She glanced to her brother, but his thoughts were all on Kaylee at the moment. “I thought maybe this would help cheer everyone up a bit,” Matthias announced with a glance around the room. He settled his twelve-string on his lap. Anna cradled a mandolin instead of her usual fiddle. “Just a little piece Anna and I wrote together. Something to give us hope when times were tough.” That elusive tenderness passed between them. Matthias nodded his head in time to set the beat and they started in. His guitar rang clear and sharp off the metal walls of Serenity, a hammered picking pattern over some open chords. Anna kept a steady rhythm with the strumming of her mandolin. The music swayed gently, almost like a lullaby. River found her body moving with the flow of the song. Hardly noticing, her eyes closed as she followed the waves of emotion carried by the music. It was a little bittersweet, but full of promise, and hope, as Matthias said. For the first time in many days, she felt calm descend on her. The song ended with a wide strum. As the last chord faded, she opened her eyes, and found the audience had grown. Inara was standing a few steps away from her room, and Mal was leaning against the stairwell railing. Even Jayne had wandered in, sweat stained, drawn from his workout in the cargo bay by the strains of music. Everyone had a contemplative, almost slightly perplexed look about them. It was as if they had forgotten what pleasant sounded like, and upon being reminded, discovered they liked it. “Oh, that was lovely!” Kaylee acknowledged with a little clap. “What is that one called?” Simon asked. “I don’t know,” Matthias looked at his wife. “We never gave it a name.” “Maybe you should call it ‘Serenity,’ Kaylee suggested. “It fits her perfect, don’t it, Cap’n?” Mal actually did not disagree. He just nodded, the thoughtful expression still on his face. “Should we do another one?” Matthias asked. “Yes,” Kaylee encouraged. But before they could start, the intercom interrupted. “Captain, you need to come up here now,” Zoe called from the bridge. “There’s somethin’ you have to see.” The urgency in her voice snapped them back to the reality of their situation, breaking the spell the song wove. Mal took the steps two at a time. “Guess the show’s over,” Kaylee lamented. Anna gave Kaylee an apologetic look as both of them started packing up their instruments. River felt the shock of coming back to reality harder than anyone else. All the past days’ apprehension surged back. She left her chair quickly and followed the captain up the stairs. “What is it?” Mal hurried to Zoe’s side, half-expecting to see a small Alliance fleet bearing down on them through the viewports. Zoe pointed to the Cortex screen. “I was browsin’ through the newsfeeds to see what the latest was on us. That’s when I saw this.” She tapped a small window in one corner of the screen, bringing it to full size. “… bringing you this news conference which took place earlier today on Osiris,” the anchor announced before switching to a video clip. The shot was in front of a large house with an immaculately landscaped yard. A well-dressed man in late middle age with arching brows and dark hair streaked with gray at the temples stood on the porch, flanked by some military officials. His eyes were sunken, heavy with rings, giving his otherwise stately appearance a sallow look. He looked tired, older than his years. Mal thought there was something familiar about him that he couldn’t place. “Um, thank you for coming,” the man started in a pleasant but nervous baritone, reading from some sheaves of paper in his hands. He obviously was not a politician or someone used to speaking to the media. “My name is Gabriel Tam, and my purpose today is to make a plea on behalf of my children, Simon and River Tam.” A shockwave went through Mal, and the familiarity he noticed before finally hit home. He watched, glued to the screen. “Two years ago, my daughter, River Tam, was kidnapped from a special government-run academy for gifted children. My son, her older brother, is the prime suspect in the case. Simon was very close to his sister, and loved her very much. He was also very protective of her. In the weeks leading up to her kidnapping, he strongly believed that someone at the school was doing her harm. The academy officials notified me that River had been suffering from some kind of anxiety, as is often the case in a child with a mind of her caliber. They were treating her as best they could, but letters she sent to her brother may have made it seem like she was in danger. Unfortunately, as noble as his intent was, his actions denied her further treatment, which may have allowed the problem to progress.” The man swallowed away some emotion. “The Fugitive Task Force recently had a break in the case that allowed them to locate my children. They believe Simon and River were picked up by a Captain Malcolm Reynolds, a former Independent sergeant in the War. They believe he may have convinced my son that the school actually caused his sister’s mental problems. The military has told me that this Captain Reynolds may be using my daughter to convince other Independent sympathizers that the government is doing secret experiments on its citizens. They believe he was responsible for the ‘Reaver’ raids on the Rim, as well as the Miranda wave, all in an attempt to sew discontent.” Gabriel Tam took a breath and shuffled his notes. “My plea is two-fold. First, the Fugitive Task Force and I decided that getting the word out was the best possible way to locate my children. If anyone has knowledge of the whereabouts of Captain Reynolds or his ship, a Firefly transport called Serenity, please wave the Fugitive hotline immediately. The rest of my message goes out to Captain Reynolds himself, and my children.” Gabriel Tam looked up from his notes and spoke directly to the camera now. “Please, Captain, let my children come home. My daughter is sick and needs treatment. She’s innocent and has no part in the politics of a war long over. Simon, if you’re watching this, please bring River back. We know you were trying to protect her, but she needs help. She’ll be taken care of back at the Academy, you can come home, and we can put this yao ming ju shi behind us.” Gabriel Tam’s eyes appeared to be welling up, and he looked down at his notes again. “I… I thank the media for listening to my plea, and I hope and pray that my children will return safely and soon. Thank you.” He folded his notes and quickly stepped into the house, followed by the military officials, while the media barked questions. “Representative Locherbie expressed his anger that officials had withheld their knowledge of who perpetrated the Miranda wave from his committee and the public at large,” the anchor cut back in. “He denounced the Fugitive Task Force and Alliance High Command for their secrecy in such an important matter and called for Parliament to take up the issue on the floor. Major General Daniel Kriegel, in charge of the Tam case for the Fugitive Task Force, said in a statement that the connection between the Miranda wave and Tam case was not discovered until recently. The discovery was withheld to protect the privacy of the Tam family, and to keep Captain Reynolds from knowing how the investigation was progressing. Once again, the source of the Miranda wave has been confirmed by Alliance military officials. On screen is the wave code for the Fugitive Task Force hotline. If citizens have any knowledge of the transport ship Serenity’s location, they are urged to contact the hotline right away. Do not attempt to approach or apprehend the fugitives, as they are considered dangerous.” Zoe minimized the window, cutting off the volume. She and Mal heard a noise behind them. They turned and saw River, clinging to the bulkhead, eyes huge and fixated on the Cortex screen. Slowly she sank down to the floor. “Ba ba? ” she whispered. At Mal’s summoning, everyone gathered on the bridge to watch the newsfeed replay Gabriel Tam’s news conference. By this time, the profiles of both Mal and Zoe, complete with pictures, birthdates, and social control numbers, had been appended to the end of the broadwave. Zoe’s face turned stony when hers came up, referring to her by her maiden name. “Well, we’re humped,” Jayne pronounced when it was all over, folding his arms. “Captain, that’s it. The whole ‘verse is gonna be lookin’ for us.” Zoe quietly agreed. Mal’s eyes darted around the bridge not really seeing anyone. They were searching out that elusive remaining option that he knew had to exist. This was not how it ended, with them standing alone against the Alliance and all the ‘verse. It had not ended that way in Serenity Valley, and he was going to be damned if he would let it end that way now. He brought his eyes back to Zoe. “No. We’ll figure a way out of this,” he said, determined. “And how’s that? We’re all gorram fugitives now,” Jayne protested. “Look, the only ones they got profiles on are me ‘n Zoe. Likely they don’t know who the rest of you are.” “But what if they do?” Inara asked. “If they did they’d have posted ‘em.” “That only leaves three,” Simon looked between Kaylee, Inara, and Jayne. “That’s less than half your crew.” “Look, we ain’t got a choice. We need supplies, or it won’t make no difference whether we’re fugitives or not ‘cause we’ll be starvin’. We keep goin’ to Persephone. Inara, Jayne, and Kaylee can take the shuttle and go pick up the stuff while the rest of us wait out away from pryin’ eyes. Inara’s got contacts there,” he looked hopefully to the Companion. “She’ll be able to get us what we need.” Inara did not share his look. “We’ll be fine. We keep flying.” Mal purposely ignored his crew’s protests because he was desperately trying to convince himself it would work. They would be okay. He could not face the alternative. “They didn’t mention anything about Anna or Dr. Harder,” Kaylee commented quietly with a look back at the two, standing just outside the bridge. “Conjure they must think you were on that shuttle when they blasted it,” Mal reasoned. “No reason to look for a fugitive when he’s dead. Might be the best thing to happen to you, Doctor.” Matthias shook his head. “I’m sorry, Captain. “You played the hand you was dealt, and the Alliance played theirs. Can’t nobody fault you for that,” Mal tried to sound more magnanimous than he felt. “Reckon we’re more of a danger to you now than you are to us. We’ll drop you off at Persephone. It ain’t much further to Georgia from there. Like as you’ll find a ride soon enough.” He pushed past them into the foredeck, not because he had anything particular to do, but because he had to get away from the bridge and all the doubts. “Best get ourselves prepped,” he called behind him, as if there was something to actually prep for. Anna moved onto the bridge, kneeling next to River and trying to comfort her. Simon crouched down as well. River looked at Simon. “Why did he do that?” She sounded like a hurt child. “He doesn’t understand,” Simon told her, stroking her hair. “He doesn’t know what they did to you.” As he spoke, a realization suddenly occurred to him. “Captain!” he called, running off the bridge after Mal. “Captain! Mal!” He caught up with him on the catwalk over the cargo bay. “Let me contact him.” Mal turned to face him fully. “Did it ever occur to you, with all your learnin’, that might be exactly what they want?” he put a hand on his hip. “He has a private wave code,” Simon explained. “So? They’ll most likely be monitoring that, too.” “No, I’m pretty sure they won’t. He only uses it for business. He only gives it to people who might need to contact him for that reason. He wouldn’t expect me to use it.” “Why not?” “Because I’m not supposed to know it.” Mal understood the reasoning, but it was still a gamble. “What do you hope to accomplish by talkin’?” “I’ve got to explain to him what happened. If he understands, maybe he won’t help the Alliance anymore.” “Might put him in a precarious spot. They’re likely to take it out on him if he stops cooperatin’” Mal warned. “I know. But he’s already in a precarious spot. Please, Mal. You’ve got to let me try.” The bridge was sealed off. Only Mal, River, and Simon were present. River huddled in the copilot’s chair, rocking nervously, but out of sight of the video feed. Mal stood just behind her. He sighed heavily, misgivings abound in him. He still worried that something might give them away. Even after going over the bridge twice to make sure no subtle clues were lying about, he still did not feel secure about this. But he had agreed to let Simon give it a try. The young doctor hovered over the Cortex controls. “Do it,” Mal nodded. “But if they trace it…” he left the sentence unfinished, not even sure he knew what would happen in that case. “They won’t,” Simon assured, but felt less confident than he sounded. He entered the wave code and pushed send. His nerves grew ever tighter as the seconds passed without an answer. He stood off to the side as well, just in case. Finally the screen flicked to life. “Ni hao?” Gabriel Tam’s face appeared. Simon waited another second to get a quick look at the background. His father was in his study, door closed, just as it always was when he took business waves. “Hello? Who’s there?” Gabriel asked to the blank screen on his end. Simon stepped into view. “Hi, Dad.” “Simon!” Gabriel gasped. His expression was pure surprise. “Shhh!” Simon hissed. “Oh, son! It’s really you?” “Yes, it’s me. Be quiet. Don’t let them hear you.” Gabriel’s face turned worried. He lowered his voice. “Are you okay? Can you speak freely?” “Yes, Dad, I’m fine. I don’t want the Feds to hear you.” “Why not? Why are you calling on this code? How did you get it?” “It doesn’t matter. Look, we need to talk about this. The Feds are using you to get to River. They lied to you.” Gabriel’s face took on a pained expression. “Son, I don’t know what le se this Captain Reynolds filled your head with, but he’s a fanatic fighting a war that ended seven years ago. The Alliance and the academy people explained everything to me.” “They want to take River back.” “Of course they do. It’s where she belongs. It’s where she needs to be. Simon, she’s sick. That’s why…” “They did it to her, Dad! At the Academy. They tortured her there.” “It’s nonsense,” his tone became stern. “Look, whatever you think happened, or whatever River told you happened, it was probably a product of the illness.” “They cut into her brain, Dad. I saw the scars. I imaged her myself.” Gabriel’s certainty faltered. He never doubted his son’s veracity when it came to medical matters, but there had to be an explanation for it. “Well, if they did, I’m sure they did it for a good reason. To help her.” Simon could hardly believe his father would convince himself that what they did to River had any legitimate medical purpose whatsoever. “You haven’t seen what it’s done to her. She’s not the River you sent to them five years ago.” “Where is River?” Gabriel asked. “Is she with you? Let me see her.” Simmering, Simon tried to control his temper. “She’s here and she’s safe. That’s why she’s staying here.” “Simon, you’re a doctor. You know she needs treatment. You have to bring her home.” “No,” Simon flatly refused. A wave of angry emotions broke through Gabriel’s calm for a moment, then he dropped his face from the screen with a heavy sigh. When he looked up again he had changed. He was more careworn, with wrinkles standing out. It struck Simon how much older he looked after just five years. “Son, it’s not just that. It’s…” he faltered. “It’s your mother.” His father’s face sunk and Simon’s stomach sunk with it. “What’s wrong?” he asked, forgetting his anger. “She’s sick. She’s… she’s dying, Simon.” The anguish was so clear on Gabriel’s face Simon thought he could feel it through the screen without even being a reader. “She got sick a few years ago, right after you disappeared. But when you were listed as a fugitive, people didn’t trust us anymore. We… we couldn’t get treatment. I even lost my position on the board. We’ve got enough money to live on for now, but…” his words died away. “Simon, you and River have to come home. I don’t know how much longer she has.” An impossible storm of emotions built inside Simon. Gabriel took his silence as consideration and tried to convince him further. “Simon. Please. Your mother needs you. She needs both of you. And after…” he left out the unspeakable thought, “after you’re back, we can try to get things back to normal.” “Things will never be normal again, Dad.” “Of course they will. River can get the help she needs, and we can see about getting you reinstated at the hospital.” “Dad…” “It won’t be too much trouble. Everyone understands what you did, you did because you thought to protect River. We put some money in the right hands and you’ll be able to pick up where you left off.” “Stop it with your xiao suan pan! ” he shouted at the screen. “Do you really think I care about going back to the hospital?” “Simon! That was your career, your life. It’s what you always wanted.” “NO!!” Simon exploded. “It’s what you wanted! I wanted it because you wanted it! You always had plans for me. All you ever saw was me. You never saw her. You never saw how extraordinary she was. Neither of you did. Even when she was crying out for help, begging for you to see her, you didn’t. Instead, you were too concerned with my ‘reputation’ at the hospital to notice. You told me to forget about it. Well I couldn’t.” Gabriel looked devastated by his son’s accusations. “I gave it all up for her, because you couldn’t see. But she was gone when I got to her. They took her away. Well, now you’re xia xia you xu. Tell Mom I’m sorry. We’re not coming home.” Simon cut off the wave. He flung open the bridge door and stormed out. Kaylee was waiting just outside and reached for him but he brushed past her without noticing. He made it to the dining area before he roared and flung a chair across the room, then continued on towards the lower deck. Tearing up, Kaylee started to go after him. Mal put a restraining hand on her shoulder. “Let him be a while,” he advised. He’d seen Simon angry. He’d seen Simon furious. He’d never seen Simon like this. It was frightening, even to him. “See to her,” he nodded towards River. The girl was sobbing silently in the copilot’s chair, knees drawn up, head buried in her arms. Kaylee went to her and embraced her. The two cried together like sisters. Late that evening, Jayne crept out of his bunk. He snuck a glance towards the bridge and could see the back of Mal’s head at the helm. Looking the other way, he saw the foredeck was empty. Confident no one else was around, he wandered towards the dining area, pretending to be looking for a midnight snack. In actuality, he was looking to catch a thief. He purposely left his liquor stash unlocked tonight. The dining area was empty, so he went straight to his cubby in the galley. It was wide open. He smirked. “Gotcha.” He went down the rear stairwell, trying not to make a sound on the stairs. A swift glance around the commons told him no one was around here, either. He made his way towards the guest rooms. On tiptoes, he leaned his ear against the door of Matthias and Anna’s room. Nothing. Frowning, he looked to Inara and Simon’s rooms on either side, shrugged, and decided to give them a try. Nothing there, either. Grumbling and grumpy at having been foiled so far, he wandered into the cargo bay, scratching his head. He thought of Mal on the bridge, realizing the captain could easily be hiding it while he sat on watch. “Hi, Jayne,” the voice took him off guard and he leaped back. He looked up where it had come from, and discovered River sitting on the catwalk above, feet dangling over the edge, with a cup and his bottle of whiskey right beside her. “Girl, not only is you scarin’ me, you’re stealin’ my whiskey,” he glowered up at her. “Sorry,” she apologized and threw back a shot. Jayne’s anger reduced some when he realized she was very drunk. Very drunk and sitting on the edge. He started climbing the stairs, keeping a cautious eye on her. “I don’ mean to steal, but it’s the only thing tha’ helps me sleep,” she slurred. “Uh, huh,” Jayne nodded, coming slowly towards her. She grabbed the flask and poured another cup. “Nightmares,” she mumbled. “Nightmares all th’ time.” Jayne towered over her, looking down with concern and a bit of anger still. River swallowed another shot. She slammed the cup down on the catwalk and stared straight ahead. Jayne watched, unsure what to do. Her shoulders twitched and rocked slightly. Then she sunk her head in her hands, sobbing outright. He shifted uncomfortably at her tears. “Ma ma, ” she sniffed. “She’s dying. And I can’ go to her. I can’t. And Simon was so angry.” Jayne looked around, wishing Inara or Kaylee, or even Mal were here. He looked down on River again, very frail, and he could not help but feel sorry for her. His features softened and, despite all his discomfort, he sat down next to her. He looked off into the air, thinking of something to say. But before he could, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her head into his shoulder. He tried to jerk away, but she held tight. So he sat there, stiff and uncomfortable, feeling her hot tears soak into his shirt. After a few moments of resignation to his role, he slowly, awkwardly put a big hand around her shoulder. After a long pause, he squeezed. How long he held her like that he was not sure. He waited until her sobbing died down, all the while thoughtful. She finally lifted her head, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. He glanced at the tear-soaked stain on his shirt. River picked up the flask again, but Jayne reached his arm around her and took it away gently. “Now, I think you’ve had enough. Time to get you to bed.” She nodded, compliant. “Ain’t you s’posed to be on watch right now?” “Cap’n took over for me.” “Oh.” He rose. She tried to do the same, but clearly couldn’t. “Whoa, there,” Jayne caught her arm. “Sorry,” she half-whispered. “’S okay. Here,” he leaned down and threw her arm over his shoulder. Then he scooped her up. She was amazingly light. “Than’ you,” she whispered again, head lolling against his arm. He hmph-ed a little, but carefully carried her up the stairs. She was out by the time he reached her room. Somehow he managed to finagle them both down the ladder without falling. He laid her gently on her bed and dimmed the lights. Then, as quiet as possible, he climbed the ladder and shut the hatch. He turned round and ran face first into Mal. “What’re you doin’?” “Gorram it, Mal! You scared the livin’ crap outta me!” he cursed, giving Mal a dirty look. Mal glanced behind him at River’s door, then back at Jayne. “I ask you again, what were you doin’?” his tone grew a little ominous. “I’s puttin’ her to bed,” Jayne grumbled. “Girl’s drunker n’ a monkey. She’s the one been stealin’ my whiskey.” He brushed past the captain, moving down the hall. “Oh,” Mal turned to follow him after a moment’s confused pause. “Yeah, well, you best be keepin’ an eye on her,” Jayne advised. “Why?” The mercenary’s face twisted oddly as he stopped. It took Mal a few seconds to realize what he was seeing. Jayne was worried. “Mal, Lord knows you and me and Zoe’s gone and gotten ourselves soused on occasion we been feelin’ low. But the way she was holdin’ onto that bottle. It was like it was her only friend in the ‘verse. She needed it. You know that’s a bad way. ‘Specially a girl her age. I’m keepin’ my liquor locked up from now on.” Mal nodded. When Jayne started worrying about someone else’s drinking behavior, it was time to take notice. But he was still befuddled. “Why’d you do that, Jayne?” he asked. “I thought you didn’t like her?” Jayne rubbed his chin on his shoulder, uncomfortable again. “Aw, Mal. It ain’t that I don’t like her. When she’s behavin’ normal, she’s fine. And I know I owe her somethin’ for savin’ our skins from them Reavers. But she ain’t always normal.” He paused. “Tonight, she was talkin’ about her Ma, and how she was dyin’ and she won’t be able to see her.” Something like pity crossed Jayne’s grizzled features as he looked at a corner of the floor. “Well, it made me think. If my Ma was dyin’, nothin’ in the ‘verse’d keep me from goin’ to be with her in her time of need. But she can’t go.” He looked at the captain, a real distressed expression on his face now. “It ain’t right, Mal. It ain’t right.” He went silent again, pensive. Then he slowly turned and walked back towards the galley. River shot up in her bed, perfectly awake. Her head throbbed, but her mind was clear. She did not remember how she had gotten into her bunk, but she had a clear memory of what led up to her alcoholic binge earlier that night. She had drowned her sorrows and her helplessness then. Now, like an epiphany, she knew exactly what she had to do. She rose, calm and unhurried, and walked to her mirror. She thought of that evening many days ago at the Elephant’s Tusk. Ariel, she had called herself. Imprisoned, freed, wanting to serve. She watched her face in the mirror. The change was subtle and quick. The cold, emotionless eyes stared back at her. -I have a mission for you.- At the corners of her lips, the barest trace of a grin formed.

lan bao- lousy; crappy bi bi du mao han bi- worst case scenario yao ming ju shi- terrible situation ba ba- dad le se- garbage; trash xiao suan pan- selfish calculations xia xia you xu- childless ma ma- mom