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BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL
The follow-up to "Called on Account of Rayne". A service call to an Alliance core world goes awry when an old nemesis reveals Inara's connection to Simon and River to the Alliance. Meanwhile, River and Jayne's new ship hits some rocky seas.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3782 RATING: 9 SERIES: FIREFLY
Firefly: "Rayne Delay" MAL (V.O.) Previously on "Firefly" ZOE She said that fuzzbuster we got from Reid could give us an extra hour's warning of an approaching Alliance ship. RIVER I wasn't born a killer. I was conscripted. JAYNE Them blue hands guys...They was what killed those men? RIVER With their brains. KAYLEE The synchronizers we picked up on Ariel make a funny noise now and then. SIMON Mei mei? Were you sleepwalking again? RIVER The feet didn't move. Only the head. SIMON Lately, she seems to get tense the moment I walk into a room. RIVER They're coming. KAYLEE It's never the right time. So kiss me again, nee mun! RIVER He does love you, you know. RIVER (CONT'D) We are one. ZOE We're overdue. I need to see my husband again, sir. MAL Oh, he weren't that much of a friend, but he was generous. He left us a large fortune in small arms. RIVER Make love to me? JAYNE Uh, sure? RIVER Don't be confused. Or literal. This isn't love, it's need. JAYNE You need me? RIVER Yes. BLUE HAND TWO Acknowledge new orders and begin pursuit. TEASER INT. ENGINE ROOM - NIGHT MAL and JAYNE enter. KAYLEE looks up from a mess of parts, a multimeter in one hand and a nondescript electrical component in the other. KAYLEE (cheerful) Captain? Jayne? What brings you to my end of town? MAL Don't mean to intrude, but he and I need to have a private kind of discussion, and one that involves yellin' so, if you don't mind taking a break. Kaylee picks up on Mal's hint, nods and leaves, with a curious and concerned look at Jayne before she's out the door. Mal starts pacing. JAYNE Look, if it's about - MAL (yelling) What the gorram Hell were you thinking? JAYNE (confused) Just now? MAL Getting sexed with River! (beat) She is a child! Yes, she's all growed up and brilliant an'all, but mentally, she's a little kid! You took advantage of her! (beat) Why'd you do it? Was she just a poke to you or is this some kind of revenge on the doctor? JAYNE Mal? MAL Never mind, that don't even matter! Of course now, my problem is what do I do about it? JAYNE Cap'n? MAL What? JAYNE She - ! I - ! (beat) It was kinda her idea. MAL And I'm supposed to believe this why, exactly? JAYNE Well... INT. TAM CABIN - NIGHT RIVER and SIMON sit side by side on the bed. Neither says anything for a long time. Simon is in shock, River looks as if she's listening to the conversation they're not having. She goes from defensive to remorseful to anger to empathy. She rubs Simon's shoulder gently. He buries his face in his hands. EXT. SPACE - NIGHT Serenity sails on. INT. ENGINE ROOM - NIGHT Mal looks stunned. MAL You what? JAYNE It's kind of hard for me to understand too. MAL That does not surprise me. JAYNE We...me an' River, we shared a brain for a while. MAL I don't need to guess who got the better end of the deal. JAYNE We did. She did this meditatin' thing and suddenly I was looking back at my own self; my mind was inside her body! MAL Now there's a disturbin' thought. JAYNE So that let her fight them Blue Hand guys. (proud) I saved us all! I'm a gorram hero for real this time! MAL Now, before we start handing out medals - An overhead component explodes with sparks and starts issuing smoke. Jayne and Mal look towards the smoking part. JAYNE That's not good, whatever it is. MAL Ta ma duh! EXT. SPACE - NIGHT Serenity's Firefly Drive flare winks out and the ship tumbles forward from the momentum. END TEASER ACT ONE INT. ENGINE ROOM - NIGHT Mal rushes over to the intercom and presses the CALL button. MAL Kaylee, I - Kaylee rushes in the door. KAYLEE I'm on it, Cap'n, don't worry. Mal is nonplussed. MAL Damn, you're fast! Kaylee grabs tools and opens up the compartment overhead, pulling out wires and components, then goes to work with her wrench. KAYLEE She hasn't sounded right all day. It's those gorram synchronizers I picked up in the junk yard on Ariel. They just didn't sound right, you know? I guess you get what you pay for, huh? MAL Guess so. Need help? KAYLEE Best if y'all get out of the way, actually. MAL Got it. JAYNE (to Mal) We're done here, right? MAL Not even close, but we'll continue this later. Kaylee stops working, looks at them emphatically. KAYLEE Guys? They leave. Kaylee works urgently on the hardware above her. WASH walks in, hanging off the doorway. WASH What happened? Why did we flame out? KAYLEE Sorry about that. Should be under control in a minute or two. WASH Anything I can do to help? KAYLEE Just have your hands on the wheel when she comes back online. WASH You've got it. Wash leaves. Kaylee starts working again. Moments later, ZOE walks in. ZOE Kaylee, what happened? Why did we lose power? Kaylee sighs, rubs sweat off her brow, still holding a spanner. KAYLEE Ask the captain. He was here when she blew. I'm working on it, but it'll take a minute or two. ZOE Anything I can do to help? KAYLEE No, thanks. I just need some time alone with Serenity and I'll fix her up, don't you worry. Tell the captain, "Soon." ZOE Roger that. Good luck. Zoe leaves. Kaylee resumes working. BOOK walks in. BOOK Miss - Kaylee drops an engine part, which clatters noisily on the deck. KAYLEE I'm - (sees Book) Sorry, Preacher, but I'm a little busy right now. BOOK Thought I would offer my help. Book hands the part back to Kaylee, who slaps it into place and starts tightening a bolt with her spanner. KAYLEE I'm fine, I can handle it. Really. "The Lord helps them what helps themselves," right? BOOK I see my work here is done; I'll let you carry on with yours. KAYLEE Thanks! Book leaves. Kaylee waits until he's out of sight, then groans in frustration. SIMON steps gingerly into the engine room. SIMON Uh - KAYLEE (exaspirated) I said I'm working on it! See? (indicates tools in hand) Tools! Parts! Grease! SIMON I'm so sorry. River said you needed my help. I'll just - He turns to go. KAYLEE Wait! You know what? You can help me. You're a doctor, you know how it works in operating rooms, right? SIMON (knowing smirk) I've seen them, yes. KAYLEE Well, I'm deputizing you, or nurse izing you or whatever. Pass me that arc welder and the flux capacitor over there in the toolbox. Simon looks. There's an unbelievable mess of parts and tools on the floor and in boxes. It looks almost as horridly junky as the engine itself. Simon picks out a tool and holds it up. SIMON This it? KAYLEE No, the blue one. SIMON Right. He grabs the other one and hands it to her. KAYLEE Thanks. Now the flux capacitor? SIMON What's it look like? KAYLEE It's a bzzt thing with three tubes in it. Simon sees something and holds it up. SIMON This? KAYLEE You've got it! We'll make a mechanic out of you yet. She takes the part and smiles down at him. Their hands touch briefly. Grease slides off Kaylee's and onto Simon's, which perturbs Simon, but amuses Kaylee. SIMON What next? KAYLEE Find me an oscillation overthruster. SIMON And that looks like? KAYLEE (without looking around) A black potato with glowing clear plastic buttons where the eyes should be. It beeps. Simon sees what she describes and picks it up. It does indeed beep. SIMON Here - Simon places it carefully into her outstretched palm, her arm reaching back. She places it in a housing, it spins in three axes, and beeps again. KAYLEE There, now that ought to do it. Nothing happens. Simon looks around at the nothing happening while Kaylee climbs down from the ladder. SIMON When - KAYLEE Shh! Wait for it. She pulls a fuse switch down and the engine grinds to life, spinning once more. Kaylee looks very pleased with herself. SIMON You did it! KAYLEE Of course! Thanks for the help. You'd make a fine mechanic some day. Simon examines his hands and tries to rub the grease off it. Kaylee sees this and grins. SIMON Thanks. Does this come off? KAYLEE I like it. It looks good on you to get a little dirty now and then. SIMON Glad I could oblige. KAYLEE Now oblige me this - She leans up and kisses him, quick and sweet. He holds her in a polite but passionate embrace. She slides her hands up his back leaving two black grease stain smears on his shirt. They continue kissing while Serenity's engine thrums, whirls and grinds behind them. INT. SERENITY'S KITCHEN - LATER Mal, ZOE, INARA, WASH, Kaylee, River, Simon, BOOK and Jayne have gathered to discuss the other dilemma. Kaylee places a burnt out part on the table. KAYLEE We need a new one. I've bandaged Serenity up as much as I can, but we won't be flying long without a replacement. MAL Well, I say we proceed with the plan. We go to Euterpe, buy the adaptor and the new synchronizers, keep our head low, and get out as soon as she's ready to fly. SIMON Uh, Captain? MAL I know. It'll just have to wait. SIMON It's not about that. I'm just wondering what River and I will do once we've touched down on one of the core worlds. Your records, may be - (searching for a word) ...ambiguous.. (continues) But we've got a substantial bounty on our heads. KAYLEE Work crews are going to go over every millimeter inspecting the wiring. Won't be any place for them to hide, much as I'd like 'em to stay. BOOK There's a monastery on Euterpe not far, I might be able to find a place for - RIVER (shakes her head) Too much hair. Zoe smirks. Book looks chagrined. Simon looks confused. BOOK Then again, maybe not. JAYNE How about - ? Mal gives him a look. He shuts up. INARA They can stay with me. SIMON Pardon? MAL Pardon? INARA I'll be busy with clients for our entire stay - (derisive aside) trying to make up for months of inactivity - (continues) And since all of the clients there prefer meetings in their homes, Simon and River can stay in my shuttle while I'm working. It'll be cosy, but it's unlikely anyone will bother searching a Registered Companion's shuttle without probable cause. MAL Assuming no-one's made any connection between you and us. INARA How could they, when I haven't worked in six months? Nobody's seen me at all. INT. ALLIANCE INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY YOLANDA sits grumpily across from an ALLIANCE OFFICER in what looks like a standard police interrogation room, only more antiseptic and cold. The Alliance Officer shoves two large photos of River and Simon, respectively, across the table to her. ALLIANCE OFFICER Now you say you've seen these two aboard that Firefly Class Transport- (reads data pad) "Serenity". (looks up) on a prior occasion, but you didn't catch sight of them on your last visit. YOLANDA That's right. ALLIANCE OFFICER So they could have just been on board for the one flight you were in their company. YOLANDA Could be, but if I were you, I'd still check up on it. The Alliance Officer looks like he'd rather not take orders from a BOO hway-HUN duh PUO-foo like Yolanda. ALLIANCE OFFICER Anything else? YOLANDA Yes. They have a Registered Companion with them, named Inara. You should be able to track their movements through hers. He smiles like she just made his day. ALLIANCE OFFICER Thank you, Miss. You've been most cooperative. YOLANDA My pleasure. She stands and uses her most seductive pose and voice. YOLANDA (CONT'D) Now, if there was anything I could do to reduce my sentence, I'd be more than eager to try. She touches the Alliance Officer's hand softly. He clears his throat, looking even more annoyed with her. ALLIANCE OFFICER I got a report from the Alliance Cruiser Blomberg that you seduced or attempted to seduce most of the senior officers of that ship and very nearly caused a mutiny. For that reason, Command sent me to deal with you. Yolanda looks frustrated and disappointed. YOLANDA You're sly? ALLIANCE OFFICER As a fox. So save it. YOLANDA Too bad, you're pretty cute. ALLIANCE OFFICER My boyfriend thinks so too. (gestures to the door) Your cell awaits. Yolanda pouts and walks out. Two FEMALE GUARDS stand ready at the exit and escort her away. The Alliance officer taps a control at his desk and a monitor flips up. On it we see an image of Inara with some data beside it - her Companion Registration Certificate. He keys in some instructions and the words "Surveillance Active" flash on the screen. END OF ACT ONE ACT TWO EXT. SPACE - NIGHT Serenity flies down towards the planet Euterpe. EXT. LANDING PAD AT EDGE OF CITY - NIGHT The buildings are surprisingly short around here, but it's mostly industrial anyway. Serenity touches down on a pad. The main gate opens. Mal, Zoe and Jayne stand at the door, hands on their weapons. People come and go on the street, on their way to one sort of business or another, who completely ignore the ship that just landed amongst them. The trio stand a little easier. MAL (to Zoe) Well, seein' as we're getting such a warm reception, we'd better go look for the techies. Go tell Inara she can depart any time she's ready. ZOE Yes sir. JAYNE Mal - MAL (ignores Jayne) We won't stay long, but I think we should split up, keep us from standing out too much. ZOE Yes sir. JAYNE Mal! MAL What? JAYNE Can I go instead of Zoe, y'know, to see River off? MAL (sighs) Fine. Say your good-byes. JAYNE Thanks! Jayne eagerly rushes back up the ramp inside. MAL You know, I kinda liked him better when he was thoughtless, selfish and crude. ZOE Still is sir. INT. SERENITY'S GANTRY - NIGHT Jayne rushes up to the door just as the Tams are coming aboard. Kaylee waves cheerfully and then walks down the staircase. Inara stops Jayne at the threshold. INARA I'm only taking on two passengers. JAYNE I just gotta say a proper goodbye to River. S'alright, ain't it? INARA Make it quick. I have an appointment I'm already late for. INT. INARA'S SHUTTLE - NIGHT Jayne walks in. River smiles, gets up. They kiss. They kiss for a long, long, long time. Simon and Inara start looking annoyed. Simon sits down. Inara looks at her clock. Then, suddenly, River and Jayne part. RIVER Bye. JAYNE Bye. Simon rolls his eyes and covers his head with a throw pillow. Jayne leaves. Inara sits down at the controls and powers up the shuttle. River sits down beside Simon smiling, but then looks at him and her smile fades. She hugs her knees. INARA Now that we're all settled in.. Inara throttles up and the shuttle rises into the air. EXT. LANDING PAD AT EDGE OF CITY - NIGHT An grizzled TECHIE is appraising Serenity while Mal, Kaylee and Zoe look on as Jayne returns down the ramp, with Book beside him, dressed in his preacher uniform, Bible in hand. TECHIE I didn't know any of the old 03's were still flying. She give you trouble, sweet thing? KAYLEE (bristles) Never! MAL Kaylee. KAYLEE Until those [Chinese for crappy] synchronizers that is. MAL Well, then there was the time - Kaylee looks at Mal "Don't go there." MAL (CONT'D) She's a good ship. TECHIE Aye. They don't make 'em like they used to, that's for sure. Ah, it'll be a pleasure to open her up and see what she's got. The entendre isn't lost on Kaylee. MAL (clears throat) So about that fuzzbuster? TECHIE Well, now, that's the problem. Y'see it's not technically legal hereabouts. Mal gives him his best charming smile. MAL But that's what brought us to your fine establishment. Reputation is that you are gifted in things mechanical, and since I see no Alliance flags flying overhead, what's a technicality to an artist such as your own self? The Techie looks like he's going to protest, but Mal hands him a small bag of money before he says anything. TECHIE It'll be a masterpiece. No-one will even know it's there. (beat) Exceptin' your lovely mechanic here. He beams at Kaylee, who does her best to beam back, even though she clearly finds him repulsive. MAL Well, then, we'd best get out of your way and let you get to it. TECHIE Right then. (shouts to others) Lads! Bring the gear, we've got work to do! He heads into the ship, followed by others, pulling heavy equipment on wheels up the ramp. Loud drilling, welding and banging noises begin. Wash, holding his ears, runs down the ramp. WASH They don't waste any time do they? ZOE Around here, it's a flat fee system, so the faster they finish the job, the bigger the profit. WASH Let's just hope they don't miss anything important when putting her back together. MAL If'n they did, we'd just fall on them, so it's better to do a good job. BOOK Well, then! As much as I enjoy a metalwork symphony like this, I did happen to spot a chapel down the road a piece. Thought I'd go in and commune with the brethren. MAL There's a watering hole that way, you want to commune with those folks instead? BOOK Even shepherds need a break from the shepherding now and then. Besides, there might be news I've missed while I was away. JAYNE What, they change the Bible on you, somethin' like that? BOOK Not really. (waves) Good evening to you all. Book walks on, taking in the sights as he does. WASH Let's hit that bar, I want to get my lovely wife drunk so I can have my way with her. ZOE You don't need to get me drunk to do that. WASH Yeah, but it's more fun this way. They laugh and walk towards the bar, arm in arm. MAL Kaylee, you comin'? KAYLEE If it's all the same to you, Captain, I'd like to keep an eye on Serenity. MAL Are you gonna be alright by your lonesome? With that lot? KAYLEE It's not my first choice. MAL Jayne? Stay here and keep Kaylee safe while she's keeping Serenity safe. JAYNE Why me? MAL Fighting fire with fire. If they's the big sons of bitches we think, I want my biggest son of a bitch watching their every move. Jayne looks flattered, then gets a twinkle. JAYNE If they do somethin' funny, can I shoot 'em? MAL Depends how funny. Look, just keep Kaylee and Serenity safe - in that order. We'll be back in a couple of hours, okay? Jayne nods. Kaylee beams at the "in that order" remark. Mal leaves to join the others. Jayne and Kaylee look at each other. INT. SALOON - NIGHT The crowd looks rough and worn as Serenity herself, yet, it's not without a certain charm. Mal smiles as he gets a look at the fellow hooligans he'll be keeping company with. MAL Now that's my kind of place. ZOE Yes sir. How much I can't respectfully say. WASH Do they actually open the bottles or do they just smash them? MAL This may not be the best place to enjoy a nice coctail, but it's an excellent marketplace, for what we're currently sellin'. Gotta pay for them repairs somehow. Mal places a large machine gun magazine on the bar, and smiles sweetly at the BARTENDER. MAL (CONT'D) Howdy! INT. MONASTARY - NIGHT Book enters. It's dusty, antique, and empty. He looks around. Finally, a PREACHER appears at the far doorway. PREACHER Evenin'. BOOK Evenin'. PREACHER Where've you been, Book? BOOK Thought I'd walk in the world for a while. PREACHER Why'd you come back? BOOK Just visiting. Might need a favour or two. PREACHER I suppose I do owe you one. BOOK That you do. But "a kindness is returned tenfold," sayeth the Lord. PREACHER [mutters Chinese curse under his breath] EXT. SERENITY - NIGHT Kaylee and Jayne sit, watching the Techs do the wiring work. They both seem distracted, anxious. BOTH They've been gone a long time. They look at each other. Then sit back to watching the metalwork and sigh heavily. KAYLEE You miss her? JAYNE Oh, hell, no. I just ain't been sexed in hours. KAYLEE Maybe it'd be better if we didn't talk. EXT. POSH CITY MANSION - DAY Inara steps out from her shuttle, dressed in her most glamorous. FILMORE, an older gentleman greets her by kissing her hand. FILMORE Welcome, Miss Inara. We haven't had the honour of such a lovely Companion here in some time. INARA You flatter me, sir. But surely there are others, in a system as sophisticated as this one. FILMORE But none as lovely. INARA Again, thank you. (gestures to the house) Shall we? INT. INARA'S SHUTTLE - DAY River peeks through the windshield at Inara and her client with a look of childlike fascination. Simon sits leaning against the wall just below her. RIVER She's the same. SIMON Pardon? RIVER He changes, but she stays the same. SIMON She's not immortal. RIVER No, she feels the same, even when he feels different. She looks still, but she's moving very fast. SIMON I'm not sure I want to have this conversation. (looks at River) And you should keep your head down. RIVER I find the process fascinating. Interpersonal geometry. SIMON And just when I was beginning to understand you. RIVER I don't understand her. SIMON Why? RIVER She wanted freedom to work, to get away, now she wants to be back. I don't understand. SIMON It's probably best you don't go poking around in other people's heads. RIVER Can you tell your ears not to listen? SIMON Uh... RIVER Then shut up. She resumes watching Inara. EXT. POSH CITY MANSION - DAY Inara and Filmore walk across the platform and enter a door, Filmore holding the door for her. Above them, a VIDEO CAMERA pans back and forth. INT. SECURITY OFFICE - DAY Images on a dozen monitors flicker and change, some and pan, with a large central screen in the middle. A SECURITY GUARD punches controls. An image of Inara's face appears on the screen, then is cropped, and data appears beside it. SECURITY GUARD Positive ID. Registered Companion Inara Serra 6060842. Clear. He notices something on the screen. He punches some buttons and a close-up of the shuttle is on the main screen. River's face can be seen peeking out. More button pushing. The shuttle disappears and the computer completes River's face. The text beside her face flashes red and reads out River's warrant. SECURITY GUARD (CONT'D) Uh oh. The computer beeps. Inara's face returns to the screen. The readout says "UNDER OBSERVATION BY THE ALLIANCE FOR SUSPECTED TIES TO FUGITIVES." SECURITY GUARD (CONT'D) Double uh oh. He picks up a headset microphone. SECURITY GUARD (CONT'D) Team six, we have a situation. Stand by. INT. INARA'S SHUTTLE - DAY River and Simon are playing cards together when River gasps suddenly. SIMON What is it? River pops her head up to the window. Through it we can see SECURITY GUARDS lining up on the platform. River sits down at Inara's pilot seat and starts flicking switches. The engines start warming up. SIMON (CONT'D) Mei mei, what are you doing? RIVER Warming up the shuttle. SIMON I can see that, but you don't know how to fly. RIVER Yes I do. I've watched Inara. SIMON Watching and doing aren't the same thing. RIVER They are to me. INT. FILMORE'S BEDROOM - DAY Inara, straddling Filmore, turns her head suddenly. INARA Is that my shuttle? Outside the window, Inara's shuttle takes off, awkwardly just as an Alliance troop shuttle lands in the pad beside it. INARA (CONT'D) [colourful Chinese expletive]! FILMORE I'm terribly sorry about this, my dear. If there's anything I can do - say, I know an excellent lawyer! Inara gives him an icy look, then gets out of bed and hurriedly puts the rest of her clothes on. FILMORE (CONT'D) Does this mean we're not going to finish? She ignores him and gathers her things. ALLIANCE SOLDIERS burst into the room. Inara crosses her arms defiantly. ALLIANCE OFFICER Inara Serra, you are under arrest for aiding and abetting the known fugitives River Tam and Doctor Simon Tam. END ACT TWO ACT THREE INT. INARA'S SHUTTLE - DAY River flies the shuttle while Simon tries to hang on. SIMON You left Inara behind there! RIVER I'm dancing as fast as I can! The shuttle lurches to one side. The city outside the windshield dips and weaves. Simon holds his hand over his mouth as if he's about to be sick. ALLIANCE SOLDIER (over radio) Shuttle, you will heave to and prepare to be boarded by order of the Alli-aaayyyyyyyy! EXT. CITY - DAY Inara's shuttle whizzes past on its side. An Alliance shuttle following it barely misses slamming into a building and has to do some fancy maneuvering to avoid other air traffic. It comes to a stop, hovering before rows and rows of flying vehicles going on a perpendicular course. INT. ALLLIANCE SHUTTLE - DAY The ALLIANCE SOLDIER on the radio vomits, while the PILOT slams his fists on the dash. He pulls out a radio mic. PILOT Dispatch this is Unit 519, we have lost sight of suspect vehicle in traffic, over. EXT. SERENITY - DAY Book returns, carrying a METAL CASE he didn't have when he left. The work on Serenity looks done. A brown haze, passing for a sunrise, fills the horizon. Kaylee inspects all the welds and joints. BOOK Mornin' miss Kaylee. KAYLEE (distracted) Hey. BOOK Captain and the others back? KAYLEE Yep, hours ago. Inside. BOOK I see. And Inara and the Tams? KAYLEE (looks up suddenly) Why? What have you heard? BOOK Nothing, but, I could check. I do have my sources. KAYLEE That'd be a kindness. Jayne pokes his head out of the main hatch. JAYNE Preacher, you say somethin' about sources? Book pats his metal case. BOOK I'll have an answer for you by lunchtime. JAYNE The eyes and ears o' God're everywhere, eh? BOOK Something like that. Book walks up the ramp. Jayne follows him. Kaylee leans on Serenity, chewing a thumbnail, staring off into space. INT. SERENITY'S KITCHEN - DAY The remains of the crew and passengers of Serenity have gathered around the table. Book sits on one end, hands clasped together. Mal looks pissed. MAL Arrested? How? Why? What for? BOOK All very good questions. She's been charged with aiding and abetting known fugitives and obstruction of justice. (beat) It seems there was a special notice to keep an eye on her and her activities in the system, made a connection between us and the Tams. MAL Well, be that as it may, we still gotta get her outta there somehow. JAYNE Gorram right! We're bustin' her an River - (thoughtful pause) An' the doc outta there. BOOK There's no mention of the Tams being arrested yet from - (beat) any of my sources. JAYNE Well, then, we should lay low, stay outta trouble. KAYLEE Jayne! WASH Breathtaking to watch, isn't it? ZOE My hero. MAL Alright, people! We need us a plan. (beat) Preacher, do we know who blew the whistle? Was it one of the techies? BOOK No. (sigh) Your ex-wife. MAL (confused) My ex- but I'm not - (pissed off) [really colourful Chinese curse]! INT. ALLIANCE DETENTION CENTRE CELL BLOCK - DAY Accompanied by two GUARDS, Inara stands in the doorway to a cell. Three walls are white, the third is a large piece of sheet metal with a row of small circular holes in it at about eye level. The only other occupant is Yolanda. Inara sees her. Yolanda looks terrified. Inara lunges forward, swinging her fists. INARA (building up to a yell) [same Chinese curse Mal just uttered]! They fight, something halfway between sophisticated martial arts and a down and dirty brawl, plus the usual hair pulling and nail scratching. The Guards look on, somewhat amused, but don't interfere. INARA (CONT'D) You sold us out you [Chinese casting aspersions on her heritage]! The metal door slams shut. YOLANDA They tortured me! I couldn't help it! Inara softens for a moment and stops her attack. INARA (sympathetic) Oh my God, I'm sorry. (sarcasm) I just don't believe you. Inara continues kicking Yolanda's ass. The two of them catch sight of the Guards watching from the holes. GUARD Oh, don't stop now. We were hoping we'd get to turn the hose on you two, then let you fight some more. INARA We're quite finished. (to Yolanda) Right? YOLANDA Right. INARA Show's over; you can leave. Yolanda extends her hand. Inara shakes it. They make a show of smiling and being friendly. YOLANDA I'm sorry. INARA Me too. GUARD Are you going to kiss or anything? GUARD TWO How about hot make-up sex? Inara and Yolanda turn angrily toward the Guards at the same time. BOTH (yelling) Get out! GUARD TWO Whatever. (whispers to the other guard) Come on, we'll watch the tape later. The Guards laugh and walk away. Inara and Yolanda sigh in disgust. BOTH Men! After a pause, Inara continues beating Yolanda up. EXT. CITY LANDING PAD - DAY A pair of ALLIANCE SOLDIERS stand outside Inara's shuttle, pounding on the door. ALLIANCE SOLDIER Open up! Alliance Security! After a moment, the hatch opens up. River steps gracefully out, dressed in Inara's clothes, wearing makeup, with a fancy wig atop her head. RIVER (imitating Inara) Yes, officers, what seems to be the problem? ALLIANCE SOLDIER This pad has a clearly marked 'No Parking' marker on it. You're blocking a fire route. RIVER (imitating Inara) I'm terribly sorry. I'm presently servicing a client with fantasies about sex in illegal places. This - (indicates the landing pad) Was as illegal as I was willing to go, being a Registered Companion. ALLIANCE SOLDIER Of course, ma'am. Simple misunderstanding. Please inform your client about the situation; it is a matter of public health and safety. RIVER (purrs) Of course. (calls inside to the shuttle) The officer says we have to leave! Is that alright? SIMON (O.S.) (nervous; stuttery) That's fine, miss. I don't want any trouble with the law. RIVER (as Inara) There's a good boy. The soldier looks closely at River, frowning. We see her from his POV. She looks exactly like Inara, and the voice coming out of her mouth IS Inara's. The image blurs and shifts back and forth briefly, where she looks like River again. SIMON (nervous) Are we free to go? ALLIANCE SOLDIER Just a moment here. Ask your client to come out so we can check his ID. RIVER (as Inara) I'm afraid I can't do that. Against Companion regulations, you see. Client confidentiality, and all that. ALLIANCE SOLDIER Alright then, let's see your ID. RIVER (as River) I...uh... (as Inara) I'll have to go and look for it. Will you excuse me? ALLIANCE SOLDIER Just name and Registered Companion license number will do. RIVER (as River) I don't...I... (yells to Simon) Calm down! You're distracting me! The illusion fades. ALLIANCE SOLDIER What the gorram Hell? The other soldiers prime their weapons. RIVER I seem to have forgotten who I am. ALLIANCE SOLDIER Whoever you are, you're coming with us. (to the others) Go inside and bring the other one out. The soldiers move to the shuttle hatch. The Alliance Soldier pulls out a handheld device. A flash goes off and a digital photo of River standing there appears on the screen, with the words "SEARCHING". After a moment, River's rap sheet and wanted poster come up, with all sorts of flashing red warnings around it. RIVER Bad news? The Alliance Soldier looks at River, and brings his weapon up to point at her. END ACT THREE ACT FOUR EXT. CITY LANDING PAD - DAY The Soldier brings his weapon up to point at River. The Other Soldier escorts Simon out of the shuttle. From behind them Serenity looms, engines roaring. The main hatch opens partway, revealing Mal, Jayne and Zoe with their guns out. The hatch provides partial cover. Jayne leans against it, wielding Vera, looking through the scope, grinning. JAYNE (muttering) Come on...let's play. The Alliance Soldiers turn towards the Serenity. They bring their guns to bear. MAL I'd think about that, if I were you boys. They fire, but their blasts impact against the hatch. Jayne takes out the soldier holding River with a quick head shot, and the Soldier falls. Zoe plugs the other one. That Soldier tumbles off the platform, grabbing at River as he does, dragging her down. SIMON Mei mei! Simon rushes forward, grabbing River's ankle. River looks down. It's a LONG DROP. The Soldier has hold of her arm. She looks in his eyes, he in hers. He's a kid, not much older than she is. She sees his terror. SIMON (CONT'D) Help! I can't hold on! Mal jumps over the hatch lip and lands on the platform. He rushes over to grab hold of Simon just as Simon starts sliding forward. River looks at the Soldier. RIVER It's not your fault. Jayne fires again, and the Soldier falls, screaming. River screams with him. Mal and Simon pull her up. INT. SERENITY'S COCKPIT - DAY Wash, calmly holding Serenity steady, notices a flashing light. WASH Some haste would be good. EXT. CITY LANDING PAD - DAY Simon holds River, who is shrieking hysterically. SIMON It's okay. It's okay, we're safe. MAL We've got a ticket to ride, I suggest we take it. The ramp extends and they climb aboard. Wash does some fancy flying and they're gone before the Fed Shuttle arrives. INT. SERENITY INFIRMARY - DAY River sleeps peacefully, an IV attached to her wrist. Simon stands over her, stroking her hair. Kaylee walks into the doorway behind him. She looks like she wants to say something, but can't. She decides to leave them well enough alone and sneaks quietly away. Mal walks in, unconcerned about decorum. MAL How's she doing? SIMON Resting; I've sedated her. Hopefully she'll be able to snap out of it when she wakes up. MAL Can you move her to one of our "special suites"? We'll be running with the Devil and we don't want your feet getting burned. SIMON (sarcasm) The secret smuggling compartments? As long as our usual cot's still there, I don't see why not. (laughs) River will probably recite The Diary of Anne Frank to me again; it may help her recovery. MAL Diary? She a friend of yours? SIMON Uh, no. A book from Earth That Was. Do you - (beat) Read? MAL (smiling sarcasm) As long as they've got pretty pictures in 'em. Mal claps Simon on the shoulder, prepares to leave. SIMON Thank you, for coming after us. I know we're an ever increasing burden to you. MAL Nobody gets left behind. SIMON So, Inara? MAL I've got a plan. Trust me. EXT. ALLIANCE DETENTION CENTRE - DAY Serenity lands outside the facility on a designated landing pad. Other cargo ships come and go. Another Firefly transport comes in for a landing beside Serenity, only it's a newer looking model, polished and painted. It's CAPTAIN steps out, regard Serenity with contempt. He's dressed smartly, and well groomed, but slimy. CAPTAIN Look at that! Amazing they're still flying. MECHANIC Bloody deathtrap. The Captain nudges the Mechanic. CAPTAIN Get our loading crew working, but not too fast, yeah? I'll see what jailbirds want conjugal visits in their cages. MECHANIC Just like that holo! CAPTAIN Yeah, only better, 'cause it'll be me getting sexed. MECHANIC Can I come along too? CAPTAIN Someone's got to watch the ship. I'll be back in a couple of hours. The Captain walks up the plank to the side entrance and gets all smarmy with the guards. The Mechanic watches him go. MECHANIC (muttering) Couple of hours? Who's he kidding? Couple of minutes. INT. SERENITY'S COCKPIT - DAY Wash looks out his window at the other ship. WASH Wow! Sweeeeeet! He then looks guilty and starts stroking the controls reassuringly. WASH (CONT'D) But you're the best baby. Who needs a [Chinese for tarted up prissy purebreed] when I can ride a noble steed like you? INT. SERENITY'S CARGO HOLD - DAY The hold opens its door to reveal the landing pad and the ramp to the side entrance. Two PRISON GUARDS approach; one carries a clipboard. Jayne and Book meet them, both dressed Preacher finery. Jayne pushes a large crate on wheels. PRISON GUARD ONE (bored) All right, what have you got for us? JAYNE You mean a bribe? BOOK (clears throat) Pardon me, son? PRISON GUARD ONE You're a supply ship aren't you? BOOK Technically, yes, but today we're just supplyin' the Word. I'm here to minister to the prisoners, save their souls before they go on to their final destinations. PRISON GUARD ONE (looks at Jayne) And what're you here for? JAYNE (feral grin) In case they don't want savin'. BOOK He's here for my protection. PRISON GUARD ONE (indicates Book's briefcase) What's in the crate? Book opens the top of the crate, revealing dozens of copies of The Bible stacked on top of one another. BOOK Tools of the trade: Bibles, sacriments, holo tracts, the usual. (brightens) Would you boys like to hear a sermon? The guards look uncomfortable at the notion of God talk. PRISON GUARD ONE Just sign in at the desk and follow the blue arrows. BOOK The Lord will remember your kindness. PRISON GUARD ONE Whatever, move on. JAYNE (whispered to Book) And we didn't even have to bribe him! INT. ALLIANCE DETENTION CENTRE - DAY The guard at the front desk looks up, then looks startled. In walk Mal and Zoe, who've both raided Inara's wardrobe. Mal looks resplendent in one of Inara's more elegant gowns, his face partially covered by a veil. He fans himself with a large lacy fan. Zoe smiles as pleasantly and seductively as she can, but it's a stretch. MAL (fake female falsetto) I'm here about one of my girls. Inara Serra? I understand she's in a peck of trouble. GUARD She's wanted on charges of aiding and abetting known fugitives. That's more than a peck. MAL (fake female falsetto) Who's the pecker? I mean, who're the fugitives? EXT. OTHER FIREFLY TRANSPORT - DAY Kaylee casually walks around it, inspecting its details. Some she seems impressed by, others she tsks. A less-than handsome young MECHANIC comes around the corner, glaring at her. MECHANIC What're you looking at? KAYLEE (coquettish) She's so fine! I've never seen an ought-nine with lateral gravametric stabilizers before. This is so shiny! You must be an amazing mechanic! MECHANIC (proud) Those are my personal touches. (babbling) She's brand new, well, mostly new. Well, what's not new was reconditioned, but it's all under warranty, even with my mods. I - I - I do all the work myself, I'm a certified aerospace technician third class. I - KAYLEE Can I see some more of your mods? MECHANIC Uh, sure. She takes his arm in hers and they walk off together talking shop. INT. ALLIANCE DETENTION CENTRE CELL BLOCK - DAY Book and Jayne stroll down the hall in front of the cells, handing out Bibles to the prisoners. BOOK May the power of God be with you. Look inside, and be free. JAYNE (chuckles) Yeah, you got the whole world in your hands now. A PRISONER who was handed a Bible shrugs and flips the pages. In the hollowed-out centre is a small handgun and six bullets. He smiles. PRISONER (calling after Book and Jayne) Praise the Lord! JAYNE (mutters; chuckling) And pass the ammunition. INT. ALLIANCE DETENTION CENTRE CELL BLOCK - DAY Yolanda and Inara sit opposite ends of a bench, looking bored, annoyed and still a little upset at each other. Inara wrinkles her nose. INARA What is that smell? YOLANDA (defensive) Shut up. INARA It's like rotting food and - YOLANDA (testy) Shut up! Inara smirks. She's figured it out. A Guard opens the door to their cell. GUARD Visitors. YOLANDA Visitors? INARA Who? GUARD Your Madam is here. Inara and Yolanda look at each other, confused. The Guard steps away. Mal and Zoe walk in. Inara and Yolanda do their best to hide their amusement. INARA Well, I certainly wasn't expecting to see you here - like this. MAL (fake female falsetto) And I was not surprised to see you here. I always knew this would be where you'd end up. (to the guard) According to Guild Law, any Registered Companion who breaks out sacred standards of practice shall be tried by her peers first, then by the state. Do you have any idea what this [Chinese for harlot] has done? It's disgusting! She must be set an example of. INARA (false contrition) I am so sorry, madame - MAL (fake female falsetto) Mallory. (overacted disdain) Oh! I suppose those narcotics have addled your memory too. GUARD Um, I have to check with my supervisor about this. MAL (normal voice) You do that. The guard does a double take. GUARD Hey! He pulls his gun. Zoe gets the drop on him and sends it flying, other guards rush in. There's a brief flurry of fists and feet. The lighting turns red and an alarm starts blaring. The remaining guards run back to their station. COMPUTER Riot in progress. Prison riot in progress on Level One. All available guards proceed to Level One. INARA What's that? MAL The word of God. Come on. Mal, Zoe and Inara leave. Mal closes the door on Yolanda, who was about to follow them out. YOLANDA Wait! Mal! Please! You can't leave me here! MAL I believe I just did. They walk away. YOLANDA Look, I'm sorry for what I did, but I just can't go to prison. Do you have any idea what they'd do to me? (screams) [vulgar curse in Chinese]! EXT. ALLIANCE DETENTION CENTRE - DAY The Guards rush to their stations. There's a hurried nervous conversation on the radio. They look at Serenity. GUARD TWO I think I know where they're headed. GUARD THREE Lock it down then. An explosion blows the doors open from the inside, sending everyone ducking for cover. Jayne, Book, Mal, Zoe and Inara ride in the crate as it rolls down the ramp towards Serenity's waiting gangplank. Bullets bounce off the metal case. Mal, Jayne and Zoe pop their heads up occasionally to fire off a shot. Some Guards fall, most just dodge out of the way. The crate rolls up Serenity's ramp and the hatch closes. In seconds, she's in the air. The Guards look astonished. GUARD TWO I thought we'd land-locked them. GUARD THREE We did. Locked on to their transponder code, locked. Look at the computer. He hands him a portable display. It shows Serenity's ID with "LAND LOCK" flashing. They watch as Serenity flies out of sight. INT. OTHER FIREFLY TRANSPORT - DAY The Captain yells on the radio while his Mechanic and Pilot try to get their ship moving. Outside, lights still flash and sirens still blare. CAPTAIN I'm telling you lot, our license is in order. This is the Firebug class transport Perfection IV. We've got cargo to deliver. Why are you people [Chinese for screwing] with my livelihood? Yolanda appears at the Captain's shoulder. YOLANDA What's wrong dear? CAPTAIN Oh, for some [Chinese for unbelievably stupid] reason, we're land-locked. We haven't done anything! YOLANDA (sobs) It's me, isn't it? CAPTAIN Oh, no, no no, sweetie, they don't even know you're here. It'll be fine, I'll make it all better, trust me. (to the radio) [Chinese for goddamn sons of bitches] let go of my ship! INT. SERENITY'S COCKPIT - NIGHT The planet is long gone, only the big black outside the window. Everyone except the Tams are here. Kaylee pats a very shiny modern looking component, hardwired into Serenity's usual mess. It clearly doesn't belong. MAL Nice work switchin' transponders on them. KAYLEE Arrogant [Chinese for idiot] practically handed me the keys. (coquettish) Oh! Your ship is so shiny! What does this do again? Everyone laughs. MAL How'd the flock like their sermon, preacher? BOOK I told them "The Lord shall set you free," and then He did. I expect my flock will be spreading the word for days now. MAL Well, our client had a bonus shipment of small arms he was itching to unload, so we swapped. Easy come, easy go. Just as well, I don't think arms dealin' is my favourite flavour of crime. I prefer something a little fruitier. BOOK By the time the Alliance gets the prison situation under control, no one will notice the missing records or warrants in the system, including yours. JAYNE The Lord works in mysterious ways, don't He? INARA Thank you, Preacher. Inara kisses him sweetly on his cheek. BOOK Just tending to my flock. Can't let the wolves have them before they's saved. MAL (raises hand) I helped. INARA Mal, I want to thank you. You know, this is probably the first time you have rescued me. Thank you. She hugs him politely. MAL Well, you bailed Zoe and Me out of Paradiso, so I expect that makes us sorta even. Although, if you don't mind, I'd like to keep the dress. I think it suits me. WASH He's kidding, right? ZOE I wish he were. I could tell you stories, but I'd rather take you to bed. WASH Stories can wait. See ya! (salutes Mal) Sir...ma'am? Zoe and Wash leave, arm in arm. JAYNE I'll be in my bunk. They look at Jayne. JAYNE (CONT'D) Cleaning my gun! Sheesh you people got some trash between the ears. Jayne leaves. Inara makes a significant eye hint to Kaylee. Kaylee takes Book's arm. He figures it out and leaves with her. MAL Well then, I guess I'm minding the store for a while. INARA I'll stay, if you don't mind the company. She touches his shoulder. He smiles at her. MAL Nothing I'd mind less. END ACT FOUR EPILOGUE INT. SERENITY'S INFIRMARY - NIGHT Simon attends to River. Jayne walks in. JAYNE How she doing? SIMON Not well, she's had a relapse. My guess is that the soldier being in physical contact with her before he died hit her hard. She's been calling your name in her sleep though. Jayne smiles at this. He walks over and takes River's hand. JAYNE Of course. We's - River snaps awake and crab crawls away from him. RIVER No, no, no, no, too close, too much, money's too much, cold, so cold. He reaches to touch her and she flinches away. Simon holds her and calms her down. JAYNE What the gorram Hell's crawled up your butt? Weren't hours ago we were sexin', now you don't wanna touch me at all? What the Sam Hill's wrong with you? SIMON More than I could ever explain to you. More than you could ever understand. JAYNE We shared brains. Her and me. I know the sweet spot where she likes to - SIMON Get out! Jayne is taken aback. He's not used to Simon being so assertive. JAYNE Fine! Just stay the hell outta my head too! (mutters) Gorram nut job. Jayne stalks away. Simon kisses River on the head. SIMON I'm sorry, mei mei. He didn't mean those things. RIVER Yes he did. I miscalculated. One more variable I hadn't anticipated. Half life will be of some duration, I think. Simon hasn't a clue. He processes what she said, then just closes his eyes and strokes her hair. SIMON That's nice. (beat) I'm sure things'll calm down soon. RIVER Always calm before major storm activity. And it's coming. It's always coming. EXT. ALLIANCE DETENTION CENTRE - DAY The shiny new Firefly ship has left. An unusual looking two person transport glides down to the landing path. Two BLUE HANDS step out and walk to the guard station. They each hold up a picture of River and Simon and smile in a pleasantly reptilian way as the Guard peers at the photographs. END OF EPILOGUE BLACK OUT
MAL (V.O.) Previously on "Firefly"
ZOE She said that fuzzbuster we got from Reid could give us an extra hour's warning of an approaching Alliance ship.
RIVER I wasn't born a killer. I was conscripted.
JAYNE Them blue hands guys...They was what killed those men?
RIVER With their brains.
KAYLEE The synchronizers we picked up on Ariel make a funny noise now and then.
SIMON Mei mei? Were you sleepwalking again?
RIVER The feet didn't move. Only the head.
SIMON Lately, she seems to get tense the moment I walk into a room.
RIVER They're coming.
KAYLEE It's never the right time. So kiss me again, nee mun!
RIVER He does love you, you know.
RIVER (CONT'D) We are one.
ZOE We're overdue. I need to see my husband again, sir.
MAL Oh, he weren't that much of a friend, but he was generous. He left us a large fortune in small arms.
RIVER Make love to me?
JAYNE Uh, sure?
RIVER Don't be confused. Or literal. This isn't love, it's need.
JAYNE You need me?
RIVER Yes.
BLUE HAND TWO Acknowledge new orders and begin pursuit. TEASER
INT. ENGINE ROOM - NIGHT
MAL and JAYNE enter. KAYLEE looks up from a mess of parts, a multimeter in one hand and a nondescript electrical component in the other.
KAYLEE (cheerful) Captain? Jayne? What brings you to my end of town?
MAL Don't mean to intrude, but he and I need to have a private kind of discussion, and one that involves yellin' so, if you don't mind taking a break.
Kaylee picks up on Mal's hint, nods and leaves, with a curious and concerned look at Jayne before she's out the door. Mal starts pacing.
JAYNE Look, if it's about -
MAL (yelling) What the gorram Hell were you thinking?
JAYNE (confused) Just now?
MAL Getting sexed with River! (beat) She is a child! Yes, she's all growed up and brilliant an'all, but mentally, she's a little kid! You took advantage of her! (beat) Why'd you do it? Was she just a poke to you or is this some kind of revenge on the doctor?
JAYNE Mal?
MAL Never mind, that don't even matter! Of course now, my problem is what do I do about it?
JAYNE Cap'n?
MAL What?
JAYNE She - ! I - ! (beat) It was kinda her idea.
MAL And I'm supposed to believe this why, exactly?
JAYNE Well...
INT. TAM CABIN - NIGHT
RIVER and SIMON sit side by side on the bed. Neither says anything for a long time. Simon is in shock, River looks as if she's listening to the conversation they're not having. She goes from defensive to remorseful to anger to empathy.
She rubs Simon's shoulder gently. He buries his face in his hands.
EXT. SPACE - NIGHT
Serenity sails on.
Mal looks stunned.
MAL You what?
JAYNE It's kind of hard for me to understand too.
MAL That does not surprise me.
JAYNE We...me an' River, we shared a brain for a while.
MAL I don't need to guess who got the better end of the deal.
JAYNE We did. She did this meditatin' thing and suddenly I was looking back at my own self; my mind was inside her body!
MAL Now there's a disturbin' thought.
JAYNE So that let her fight them Blue Hand guys. (proud) I saved us all! I'm a gorram hero for real this time!
MAL Now, before we start handing out medals -
An overhead component explodes with sparks and starts issuing smoke. Jayne and Mal look towards the smoking part.
JAYNE That's not good, whatever it is.
MAL Ta ma duh!
Serenity's Firefly Drive flare winks out and the ship tumbles forward from the momentum.
END TEASER ACT ONE
Mal rushes over to the intercom and presses the CALL button.
MAL Kaylee, I -
Kaylee rushes in the door.
KAYLEE I'm on it, Cap'n, don't worry.
Mal is nonplussed.
MAL Damn, you're fast!
Kaylee grabs tools and opens up the compartment overhead, pulling out wires and components, then goes to work with her wrench.
KAYLEE She hasn't sounded right all day. It's those gorram synchronizers I picked up in the junk yard on Ariel. They just didn't sound right, you know? I guess you get what you pay for, huh?
MAL Guess so. Need help?
KAYLEE Best if y'all get out of the way, actually.
MAL Got it.
JAYNE (to Mal) We're done here, right?
MAL Not even close, but we'll continue this later.
Kaylee stops working, looks at them emphatically.
KAYLEE Guys?
They leave. Kaylee works urgently on the hardware above her.
WASH walks in, hanging off the doorway.
WASH What happened? Why did we flame out?
KAYLEE Sorry about that. Should be under control in a minute or two.
WASH Anything I can do to help?
KAYLEE Just have your hands on the wheel when she comes back online.
WASH You've got it.
Wash leaves. Kaylee starts working again. Moments later, ZOE walks in.
ZOE Kaylee, what happened? Why did we lose power?
Kaylee sighs, rubs sweat off her brow, still holding a spanner.
KAYLEE Ask the captain. He was here when she blew. I'm working on it, but it'll take a minute or two.
ZOE Anything I can do to help?
KAYLEE No, thanks. I just need some time alone with Serenity and I'll fix her up, don't you worry. Tell the captain, "Soon."
ZOE Roger that. Good luck.
Zoe leaves. Kaylee resumes working. BOOK walks in.
BOOK Miss -
Kaylee drops an engine part, which clatters noisily on the deck.
KAYLEE I'm - (sees Book) Sorry, Preacher, but I'm a little busy right now.
BOOK Thought I would offer my help.
Book hands the part back to Kaylee, who slaps it into place and starts tightening a bolt with her spanner.
KAYLEE I'm fine, I can handle it. Really. "The Lord helps them what helps themselves," right?
BOOK I see my work here is done; I'll let you carry on with yours.
KAYLEE Thanks!
Book leaves. Kaylee waits until he's out of sight, then groans in frustration. SIMON steps gingerly into the engine room.
SIMON Uh -
KAYLEE (exaspirated) I said I'm working on it! See? (indicates tools in hand) Tools! Parts! Grease!
SIMON I'm so sorry. River said you needed my help. I'll just -
He turns to go.
KAYLEE Wait! You know what? You can help me. You're a doctor, you know how it works in operating rooms, right?
SIMON (knowing smirk) I've seen them, yes.
KAYLEE Well, I'm deputizing you, or nurse izing you or whatever. Pass me that arc welder and the flux capacitor over there in the toolbox.
Simon looks. There's an unbelievable mess of parts and tools on the floor and in boxes. It looks almost as horridly junky as the engine itself. Simon picks out a tool and holds it up.
SIMON This it?
KAYLEE No, the blue one.
SIMON Right.
He grabs the other one and hands it to her.
KAYLEE Thanks. Now the flux capacitor?
SIMON What's it look like?
KAYLEE It's a bzzt thing with three tubes in it.
Simon sees something and holds it up.
SIMON This?
KAYLEE You've got it! We'll make a mechanic out of you yet.
She takes the part and smiles down at him. Their hands touch briefly. Grease slides off Kaylee's and onto Simon's, which perturbs Simon, but amuses Kaylee.
SIMON What next?
KAYLEE Find me an oscillation overthruster.
SIMON And that looks like?
KAYLEE (without looking around) A black potato with glowing clear plastic buttons where the eyes should be. It beeps.
Simon sees what she describes and picks it up. It does indeed beep.
SIMON Here -
Simon places it carefully into her outstretched palm, her arm reaching back. She places it in a housing, it spins in three axes, and beeps again.
KAYLEE There, now that ought to do it.
Nothing happens. Simon looks around at the nothing happening while Kaylee climbs down from the ladder.
SIMON When -
KAYLEE Shh! Wait for it.
She pulls a fuse switch down and the engine grinds to life, spinning once more. Kaylee looks very pleased with herself.
SIMON You did it!
KAYLEE Of course! Thanks for the help. You'd make a fine mechanic some day.
Simon examines his hands and tries to rub the grease off it. Kaylee sees this and grins.
SIMON Thanks. Does this come off?
KAYLEE I like it. It looks good on you to get a little dirty now and then.
SIMON Glad I could oblige.
KAYLEE Now oblige me this -
She leans up and kisses him, quick and sweet. He holds her in a polite but passionate embrace. She slides her hands up his back leaving two black grease stain smears on his shirt. They continue kissing while Serenity's engine thrums, whirls and grinds behind them.
INT. SERENITY'S KITCHEN - LATER
Mal, ZOE, INARA, WASH, Kaylee, River, Simon, BOOK and Jayne have gathered to discuss the other dilemma.
Kaylee places a burnt out part on the table.
KAYLEE We need a new one. I've bandaged Serenity up as much as I can, but we won't be flying long without a replacement.
MAL Well, I say we proceed with the plan. We go to Euterpe, buy the adaptor and the new synchronizers, keep our head low, and get out as soon as she's ready to fly.
SIMON Uh, Captain?
MAL I know. It'll just have to wait.
SIMON It's not about that. I'm just wondering what River and I will do once we've touched down on one of the core worlds. Your records, may be - (searching for a word) ...ambiguous.. (continues) But we've got a substantial bounty on our heads.
KAYLEE Work crews are going to go over every millimeter inspecting the wiring. Won't be any place for them to hide, much as I'd like 'em to stay.
BOOK There's a monastery on Euterpe not far, I might be able to find a place for -
RIVER (shakes her head) Too much hair.
Zoe smirks. Book looks chagrined. Simon looks confused.
BOOK Then again, maybe not.
JAYNE How about - ?
Mal gives him a look. He shuts up.
INARA They can stay with me.
SIMON Pardon?
MAL Pardon?
INARA I'll be busy with clients for our entire stay - (derisive aside) trying to make up for months of inactivity - (continues) And since all of the clients there prefer meetings in their homes, Simon and River can stay in my shuttle while I'm working. It'll be cosy, but it's unlikely anyone will bother searching a Registered Companion's shuttle without probable cause.
MAL Assuming no-one's made any connection between you and us.
INARA How could they, when I haven't worked in six months? Nobody's seen me at all.
INT. ALLIANCE INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY
YOLANDA sits grumpily across from an ALLIANCE OFFICER in what looks like a standard police interrogation room, only more antiseptic and cold.
The Alliance Officer shoves two large photos of River and Simon, respectively, across the table to her.
ALLIANCE OFFICER Now you say you've seen these two aboard that Firefly Class Transport- (reads data pad) "Serenity". (looks up) on a prior occasion, but you didn't catch sight of them on your last visit.
YOLANDA That's right.
ALLIANCE OFFICER So they could have just been on board for the one flight you were in their company.
YOLANDA Could be, but if I were you, I'd still check up on it.
The Alliance Officer looks like he'd rather not take orders from a BOO hway-HUN duh PUO-foo like Yolanda.
ALLIANCE OFFICER Anything else?
YOLANDA Yes. They have a Registered Companion with them, named Inara. You should be able to track their movements through hers.
He smiles like she just made his day.
ALLIANCE OFFICER Thank you, Miss. You've been most cooperative.
YOLANDA My pleasure.
She stands and uses her most seductive pose and voice.
YOLANDA (CONT'D) Now, if there was anything I could do to reduce my sentence, I'd be more than eager to try.
She touches the Alliance Officer's hand softly. He clears his throat, looking even more annoyed with her.
ALLIANCE OFFICER I got a report from the Alliance Cruiser Blomberg that you seduced or attempted to seduce most of the senior officers of that ship and very nearly caused a mutiny. For that reason, Command sent me to deal with you.
Yolanda looks frustrated and disappointed.
YOLANDA You're sly?
ALLIANCE OFFICER As a fox. So save it.
YOLANDA Too bad, you're pretty cute.
ALLIANCE OFFICER My boyfriend thinks so too. (gestures to the door) Your cell awaits.
Yolanda pouts and walks out. Two FEMALE GUARDS stand ready at the exit and escort her away.
The Alliance officer taps a control at his desk and a monitor flips up. On it we see an image of Inara with some data beside it - her Companion Registration Certificate. He keys in some instructions and the words "Surveillance Active" flash on the screen.
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
Serenity flies down towards the planet Euterpe.
EXT. LANDING PAD AT EDGE OF CITY - NIGHT
The buildings are surprisingly short around here, but it's mostly industrial anyway. Serenity touches down on a pad. The main gate opens. Mal, Zoe and Jayne stand at the door, hands on their weapons.
People come and go on the street, on their way to one sort of business or another, who completely ignore the ship that just landed amongst them. The trio stand a little easier.
MAL (to Zoe) Well, seein' as we're getting such a warm reception, we'd better go look for the techies. Go tell Inara she can depart any time she's ready.
ZOE Yes sir.
JAYNE Mal -
MAL (ignores Jayne) We won't stay long, but I think we should split up, keep us from standing out too much.
JAYNE Mal!
JAYNE Can I go instead of Zoe, y'know, to see River off?
MAL (sighs) Fine. Say your good-byes.
JAYNE Thanks!
Jayne eagerly rushes back up the ramp inside.
MAL You know, I kinda liked him better when he was thoughtless, selfish and crude.
ZOE Still is sir.
INT. SERENITY'S GANTRY - NIGHT
Jayne rushes up to the door just as the Tams are coming aboard. Kaylee waves cheerfully and then walks down the staircase. Inara stops Jayne at the threshold.
INARA I'm only taking on two passengers.
JAYNE I just gotta say a proper goodbye to River. S'alright, ain't it?
INARA Make it quick. I have an appointment I'm already late for.
INT. INARA'S SHUTTLE - NIGHT
Jayne walks in. River smiles, gets up. They kiss. They kiss for a long, long, long time. Simon and Inara start looking annoyed. Simon sits down. Inara looks at her clock. Then, suddenly, River and Jayne part.
RIVER Bye.
JAYNE Bye.
Simon rolls his eyes and covers his head with a throw pillow. Jayne leaves. Inara sits down at the controls and powers up the shuttle. River sits down beside Simon smiling, but then looks at him and her smile fades. She hugs her knees.
INARA Now that we're all settled in..
Inara throttles up and the shuttle rises into the air.
An grizzled TECHIE is appraising Serenity while Mal, Kaylee and Zoe look on as Jayne returns down the ramp, with Book beside him, dressed in his preacher uniform, Bible in hand.
TECHIE I didn't know any of the old 03's were still flying. She give you trouble, sweet thing?
KAYLEE (bristles) Never!
MAL Kaylee.
KAYLEE Until those [Chinese for crappy] synchronizers that is.
MAL Well, then there was the time -
Kaylee looks at Mal "Don't go there."
MAL (CONT'D) She's a good ship.
TECHIE Aye. They don't make 'em like they used to, that's for sure. Ah, it'll be a pleasure to open her up and see what she's got.
The entendre isn't lost on Kaylee.
MAL (clears throat) So about that fuzzbuster?
TECHIE Well, now, that's the problem. Y'see it's not technically legal hereabouts.
Mal gives him his best charming smile.
MAL But that's what brought us to your fine establishment. Reputation is that you are gifted in things mechanical, and since I see no Alliance flags flying overhead, what's a technicality to an artist such as your own self?
The Techie looks like he's going to protest, but Mal hands him a small bag of money before he says anything.
TECHIE It'll be a masterpiece. No-one will even know it's there. (beat) Exceptin' your lovely mechanic here.
He beams at Kaylee, who does her best to beam back, even though she clearly finds him repulsive.
MAL Well, then, we'd best get out of your way and let you get to it.
TECHIE Right then. (shouts to others) Lads! Bring the gear, we've got work to do!
He heads into the ship, followed by others, pulling heavy equipment on wheels up the ramp. Loud drilling, welding and banging noises begin. Wash, holding his ears, runs down the ramp.
WASH They don't waste any time do they?
ZOE Around here, it's a flat fee system, so the faster they finish the job, the bigger the profit.
WASH Let's just hope they don't miss anything important when putting her back together.
MAL If'n they did, we'd just fall on them, so it's better to do a good job.
BOOK Well, then! As much as I enjoy a metalwork symphony like this, I did happen to spot a chapel down the road a piece. Thought I'd go in and commune with the brethren.
MAL There's a watering hole that way, you want to commune with those folks instead?
BOOK Even shepherds need a break from the shepherding now and then. Besides, there might be news I've missed while I was away.
JAYNE What, they change the Bible on you, somethin' like that?
BOOK Not really. (waves) Good evening to you all.
Book walks on, taking in the sights as he does.
WASH Let's hit that bar, I want to get my lovely wife drunk so I can have my way with her.
ZOE You don't need to get me drunk to do that.
WASH Yeah, but it's more fun this way.
They laugh and walk towards the bar, arm in arm.
MAL Kaylee, you comin'?
KAYLEE If it's all the same to you, Captain, I'd like to keep an eye on Serenity.
MAL Are you gonna be alright by your lonesome? With that lot?
KAYLEE It's not my first choice.
MAL Jayne? Stay here and keep Kaylee safe while she's keeping Serenity safe.
JAYNE Why me?
MAL Fighting fire with fire. If they's the big sons of bitches we think, I want my biggest son of a bitch watching their every move.
Jayne looks flattered, then gets a twinkle.
JAYNE If they do somethin' funny, can I shoot 'em?
MAL Depends how funny. Look, just keep Kaylee and Serenity safe - in that order. We'll be back in a couple of hours, okay?
Jayne nods. Kaylee beams at the "in that order" remark. Mal leaves to join the others. Jayne and Kaylee look at each other.
INT. SALOON - NIGHT
The crowd looks rough and worn as Serenity herself, yet, it's not without a certain charm. Mal smiles as he gets a look at the fellow hooligans he'll be keeping company with.
MAL Now that's my kind of place.
ZOE Yes sir. How much I can't respectfully say.
WASH Do they actually open the bottles or do they just smash them?
MAL This may not be the best place to enjoy a nice coctail, but it's an excellent marketplace, for what we're currently sellin'. Gotta pay for them repairs somehow.
Mal places a large machine gun magazine on the bar, and smiles sweetly at the BARTENDER.
MAL (CONT'D) Howdy!
INT. MONASTARY - NIGHT
Book enters. It's dusty, antique, and empty. He looks around. Finally, a PREACHER appears at the far doorway.
PREACHER Evenin'.
BOOK Evenin'.
PREACHER Where've you been, Book?
BOOK Thought I'd walk in the world for a while.
PREACHER Why'd you come back?
BOOK Just visiting. Might need a favour or two.
PREACHER I suppose I do owe you one.
BOOK That you do. But "a kindness is returned tenfold," sayeth the Lord.
PREACHER [mutters Chinese curse under his breath]
EXT. SERENITY - NIGHT
Kaylee and Jayne sit, watching the Techs do the wiring work. They both seem distracted, anxious.
BOTH They've been gone a long time.
They look at each other. Then sit back to watching the metalwork and sigh heavily.
KAYLEE You miss her?
JAYNE Oh, hell, no. I just ain't been sexed in hours.
KAYLEE Maybe it'd be better if we didn't talk.
EXT. POSH CITY MANSION - DAY
Inara steps out from her shuttle, dressed in her most glamorous. FILMORE, an older gentleman greets her by kissing her hand.
FILMORE Welcome, Miss Inara. We haven't had the honour of such a lovely Companion here in some time.
INARA You flatter me, sir. But surely there are others, in a system as sophisticated as this one.
FILMORE But none as lovely.
INARA Again, thank you. (gestures to the house) Shall we?
INT. INARA'S SHUTTLE - DAY
River peeks through the windshield at Inara and her client with a look of childlike fascination. Simon sits leaning against the wall just below her.
RIVER She's the same.
RIVER He changes, but she stays the same.
SIMON She's not immortal.
RIVER No, she feels the same, even when he feels different. She looks still, but she's moving very fast.
SIMON I'm not sure I want to have this conversation. (looks at River) And you should keep your head down.
RIVER I find the process fascinating. Interpersonal geometry.
SIMON And just when I was beginning to understand you.
RIVER I don't understand her.
SIMON Why?
RIVER She wanted freedom to work, to get away, now she wants to be back. I don't understand.
SIMON It's probably best you don't go poking around in other people's heads.
RIVER Can you tell your ears not to listen?
SIMON Uh...
RIVER Then shut up.
She resumes watching Inara.
Inara and Filmore walk across the platform and enter a door, Filmore holding the door for her. Above them, a VIDEO CAMERA pans back and forth.
INT. SECURITY OFFICE - DAY
Images on a dozen monitors flicker and change, some and pan, with a large central screen in the middle. A SECURITY GUARD punches controls. An image of Inara's face appears on the screen, then is cropped, and data appears beside it.
SECURITY GUARD Positive ID. Registered Companion Inara Serra 6060842. Clear.
He notices something on the screen. He punches some buttons and a close-up of the shuttle is on the main screen. River's face can be seen peeking out.
More button pushing. The shuttle disappears and the computer completes River's face. The text beside her face flashes red and reads out River's warrant.
SECURITY GUARD (CONT'D) Uh oh.
The computer beeps. Inara's face returns to the screen. The readout says "UNDER OBSERVATION BY THE ALLIANCE FOR SUSPECTED TIES TO FUGITIVES."
SECURITY GUARD (CONT'D) Double uh oh.
He picks up a headset microphone.
SECURITY GUARD (CONT'D) Team six, we have a situation. Stand by.
River and Simon are playing cards together when River gasps suddenly.
SIMON What is it?
River pops her head up to the window. Through it we can see SECURITY GUARDS lining up on the platform.
River sits down at Inara's pilot seat and starts flicking switches. The engines start warming up.
SIMON (CONT'D) Mei mei, what are you doing?
RIVER Warming up the shuttle.
SIMON I can see that, but you don't know how to fly.
RIVER Yes I do. I've watched Inara.
SIMON Watching and doing aren't the same thing.
RIVER They are to me.
INT. FILMORE'S BEDROOM - DAY
Inara, straddling Filmore, turns her head suddenly.
INARA Is that my shuttle?
Outside the window, Inara's shuttle takes off, awkwardly just as an Alliance troop shuttle lands in the pad beside it.
INARA (CONT'D) [colourful Chinese expletive]!
FILMORE I'm terribly sorry about this, my dear. If there's anything I can do - say, I know an excellent lawyer!
Inara gives him an icy look, then gets out of bed and hurriedly puts the rest of her clothes on.
FILMORE (CONT'D) Does this mean we're not going to finish?
She ignores him and gathers her things.
ALLIANCE SOLDIERS burst into the room.
Inara crosses her arms defiantly.
ALLIANCE OFFICER Inara Serra, you are under arrest for aiding and abetting the known fugitives River Tam and Doctor Simon Tam.
END ACT TWO
ACT THREE
River flies the shuttle while Simon tries to hang on.
SIMON You left Inara behind there!
RIVER I'm dancing as fast as I can!
The shuttle lurches to one side. The city outside the windshield dips and weaves. Simon holds his hand over his mouth as if he's about to be sick.
ALLIANCE SOLDIER (over radio) Shuttle, you will heave to and prepare to be boarded by order of the Alli-aaayyyyyyyy!
EXT. CITY - DAY
Inara's shuttle whizzes past on its side. An Alliance shuttle following it barely misses slamming into a building and has to do some fancy maneuvering to avoid other air traffic.
It comes to a stop, hovering before rows and rows of flying vehicles going on a perpendicular course.
INT. ALLLIANCE SHUTTLE - DAY
The ALLIANCE SOLDIER on the radio vomits, while the PILOT slams his fists on the dash. He pulls out a radio mic.
PILOT Dispatch this is Unit 519, we have lost sight of suspect vehicle in traffic, over.
EXT. SERENITY - DAY
Book returns, carrying a METAL CASE he didn't have when he left. The work on Serenity looks done. A brown haze, passing for a sunrise, fills the horizon.
Kaylee inspects all the welds and joints.
BOOK Mornin' miss Kaylee.
KAYLEE (distracted) Hey.
BOOK Captain and the others back?
KAYLEE Yep, hours ago. Inside.
BOOK I see. And Inara and the Tams?
KAYLEE (looks up suddenly) Why? What have you heard?
BOOK Nothing, but, I could check. I do have my sources.
KAYLEE That'd be a kindness.
Jayne pokes his head out of the main hatch.
JAYNE Preacher, you say somethin' about sources?
Book pats his metal case.
BOOK I'll have an answer for you by lunchtime.
JAYNE The eyes and ears o' God're everywhere, eh?
BOOK Something like that.
Book walks up the ramp. Jayne follows him. Kaylee leans on Serenity, chewing a thumbnail, staring off into space.
INT. SERENITY'S KITCHEN - DAY
The remains of the crew and passengers of Serenity have gathered around the table. Book sits on one end, hands clasped together. Mal looks pissed.
MAL Arrested? How? Why? What for?
BOOK All very good questions. She's been charged with aiding and abetting known fugitives and obstruction of justice. (beat) It seems there was a special notice to keep an eye on her and her activities in the system, made a connection between us and the Tams.
MAL Well, be that as it may, we still gotta get her outta there somehow.
JAYNE Gorram right! We're bustin' her an River - (thoughtful pause) An' the doc outta there.
BOOK There's no mention of the Tams being arrested yet from - (beat) any of my sources.
JAYNE Well, then, we should lay low, stay outta trouble.
KAYLEE Jayne!
WASH Breathtaking to watch, isn't it?
ZOE My hero.
MAL Alright, people! We need us a plan. (beat) Preacher, do we know who blew the whistle? Was it one of the techies?
BOOK No. (sigh) Your ex-wife.
MAL (confused) My ex- but I'm not - (pissed off) [really colourful Chinese curse]!
INT. ALLIANCE DETENTION CENTRE CELL BLOCK - DAY
Accompanied by two GUARDS, Inara stands in the doorway to a cell. Three walls are white, the third is a large piece of sheet metal with a row of small circular holes in it at about eye level. The only other occupant is Yolanda. Inara sees her. Yolanda looks terrified. Inara lunges forward, swinging her fists.
INARA (building up to a yell) [same Chinese curse Mal just uttered]!
They fight, something halfway between sophisticated martial arts and a down and dirty brawl, plus the usual hair pulling and nail scratching.
The Guards look on, somewhat amused, but don't interfere.
INARA (CONT'D) You sold us out you [Chinese casting aspersions on her heritage]!
The metal door slams shut.
YOLANDA They tortured me! I couldn't help it!
Inara softens for a moment and stops her attack.
INARA (sympathetic) Oh my God, I'm sorry. (sarcasm) I just don't believe you.
Inara continues kicking Yolanda's ass. The two of them catch sight of the Guards watching from the holes.
GUARD Oh, don't stop now. We were hoping we'd get to turn the hose on you two, then let you fight some more.
INARA We're quite finished. (to Yolanda) Right?
YOLANDA Right.
INARA Show's over; you can leave.
Yolanda extends her hand. Inara shakes it. They make a show of smiling and being friendly.
YOLANDA I'm sorry.
INARA Me too.
GUARD Are you going to kiss or anything?
GUARD TWO How about hot make-up sex?
Inara and Yolanda turn angrily toward the Guards at the same time.
BOTH (yelling) Get out!
GUARD TWO Whatever. (whispers to the other guard) Come on, we'll watch the tape later.
The Guards laugh and walk away. Inara and Yolanda sigh in disgust.
BOTH Men!
After a pause, Inara continues beating Yolanda up.
EXT. CITY LANDING PAD - DAY
A pair of ALLIANCE SOLDIERS stand outside Inara's shuttle, pounding on the door.
ALLIANCE SOLDIER Open up! Alliance Security!
After a moment, the hatch opens up. River steps gracefully out, dressed in Inara's clothes, wearing makeup, with a fancy wig atop her head.
RIVER (imitating Inara) Yes, officers, what seems to be the problem?
ALLIANCE SOLDIER This pad has a clearly marked 'No Parking' marker on it. You're blocking a fire route.
RIVER (imitating Inara) I'm terribly sorry. I'm presently servicing a client with fantasies about sex in illegal places. This - (indicates the landing pad) Was as illegal as I was willing to go, being a Registered Companion.
ALLIANCE SOLDIER Of course, ma'am. Simple misunderstanding. Please inform your client about the situation; it is a matter of public health and safety.
RIVER (purrs) Of course. (calls inside to the shuttle) The officer says we have to leave! Is that alright?
SIMON (O.S.) (nervous; stuttery) That's fine, miss. I don't want any trouble with the law.
RIVER (as Inara) There's a good boy.
The soldier looks closely at River, frowning.
We see her from his POV. She looks exactly like Inara, and the voice coming out of her mouth IS Inara's. The image blurs and shifts back and forth briefly, where she looks like River again.
SIMON (nervous) Are we free to go?
ALLIANCE SOLDIER Just a moment here. Ask your client to come out so we can check his ID.
RIVER (as Inara) I'm afraid I can't do that. Against Companion regulations, you see. Client confidentiality, and all that.
ALLIANCE SOLDIER Alright then, let's see your ID.
RIVER (as River) I...uh... (as Inara) I'll have to go and look for it. Will you excuse me?
ALLIANCE SOLDIER Just name and Registered Companion license number will do.
RIVER (as River) I don't...I... (yells to Simon) Calm down! You're distracting me!
The illusion fades.
ALLIANCE SOLDIER What the gorram Hell?
The other soldiers prime their weapons.
RIVER I seem to have forgotten who I am.
ALLIANCE SOLDIER Whoever you are, you're coming with us. (to the others) Go inside and bring the other one out.
The soldiers move to the shuttle hatch.
The Alliance Soldier pulls out a handheld device. A flash goes off and a digital photo of River standing there appears on the screen, with the words "SEARCHING".
After a moment, River's rap sheet and wanted poster come up, with all sorts of flashing red warnings around it.
RIVER Bad news?
The Alliance Soldier looks at River, and brings his weapon up to point at her.
END ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
The Soldier brings his weapon up to point at River. The Other Soldier escorts Simon out of the shuttle.
From behind them Serenity looms, engines roaring. The main hatch opens partway, revealing Mal, Jayne and Zoe with their guns out.
The hatch provides partial cover. Jayne leans against it, wielding Vera, looking through the scope, grinning.
JAYNE (muttering) Come on...let's play.
The Alliance Soldiers turn towards the Serenity. They bring their guns to bear.
MAL I'd think about that, if I were you boys.
They fire, but their blasts impact against the hatch. Jayne takes out the soldier holding River with a quick head shot, and the Soldier falls.
Zoe plugs the other one. That Soldier tumbles off the platform, grabbing at River as he does, dragging her down.
SIMON Mei mei!
Simon rushes forward, grabbing River's ankle.
River looks down. It's a LONG DROP. The Soldier has hold of her arm. She looks in his eyes, he in hers. He's a kid, not much older than she is. She sees his terror.
SIMON (CONT'D) Help! I can't hold on!
Mal jumps over the hatch lip and lands on the platform. He rushes over to grab hold of Simon just as Simon starts sliding forward.
River looks at the Soldier.
RIVER It's not your fault.
Jayne fires again, and the Soldier falls, screaming. River screams with him.
Mal and Simon pull her up.
INT. SERENITY'S COCKPIT - DAY
Wash, calmly holding Serenity steady, notices a flashing light.
WASH Some haste would be good.
Simon holds River, who is shrieking hysterically.
SIMON It's okay. It's okay, we're safe.
MAL We've got a ticket to ride, I suggest we take it.
The ramp extends and they climb aboard. Wash does some fancy flying and they're gone before the Fed Shuttle arrives.
INT. SERENITY INFIRMARY - DAY
River sleeps peacefully, an IV attached to her wrist. Simon stands over her, stroking her hair.
Kaylee walks into the doorway behind him. She looks like she wants to say something, but can't. She decides to leave them well enough alone and sneaks quietly away.
Mal walks in, unconcerned about decorum.
MAL How's she doing?
SIMON Resting; I've sedated her. Hopefully she'll be able to snap out of it when she wakes up.
MAL Can you move her to one of our "special suites"? We'll be running with the Devil and we don't want your feet getting burned.
SIMON (sarcasm) The secret smuggling compartments? As long as our usual cot's still there, I don't see why not. (laughs) River will probably recite The Diary of Anne Frank to me again; it may help her recovery.
MAL Diary? She a friend of yours?
SIMON Uh, no. A book from Earth That Was. Do you - (beat) Read?
MAL (smiling sarcasm) As long as they've got pretty pictures in 'em.
Mal claps Simon on the shoulder, prepares to leave.
SIMON Thank you, for coming after us. I know we're an ever increasing burden to you.
MAL Nobody gets left behind.
SIMON So, Inara?
MAL I've got a plan. Trust me.
EXT. ALLIANCE DETENTION CENTRE - DAY
Serenity lands outside the facility on a designated landing pad. Other cargo ships come and go. Another Firefly transport comes in for a landing beside Serenity, only it's a newer looking model, polished and painted.
It's CAPTAIN steps out, regard Serenity with contempt. He's dressed smartly, and well groomed, but slimy.
CAPTAIN Look at that! Amazing they're still flying.
MECHANIC Bloody deathtrap.
The Captain nudges the Mechanic.
CAPTAIN Get our loading crew working, but not too fast, yeah? I'll see what jailbirds want conjugal visits in their cages.
MECHANIC Just like that holo!
CAPTAIN Yeah, only better, 'cause it'll be me getting sexed.
MECHANIC Can I come along too?
CAPTAIN Someone's got to watch the ship. I'll be back in a couple of hours.
The Captain walks up the plank to the side entrance and gets all smarmy with the guards. The Mechanic watches him go.
MECHANIC (muttering) Couple of hours? Who's he kidding? Couple of minutes.
Wash looks out his window at the other ship.
WASH Wow! Sweeeeeet!
He then looks guilty and starts stroking the controls reassuringly.
WASH (CONT'D) But you're the best baby. Who needs a [Chinese for tarted up prissy purebreed] when I can ride a noble steed like you?
INT. SERENITY'S CARGO HOLD - DAY
The hold opens its door to reveal the landing pad and the ramp to the side entrance.
Two PRISON GUARDS approach; one carries a clipboard.
Jayne and Book meet them, both dressed Preacher finery. Jayne pushes a large crate on wheels.
PRISON GUARD ONE (bored) All right, what have you got for us?
JAYNE You mean a bribe?
BOOK (clears throat) Pardon me, son?
PRISON GUARD ONE You're a supply ship aren't you?
BOOK Technically, yes, but today we're just supplyin' the Word. I'm here to minister to the prisoners, save their souls before they go on to their final destinations.
PRISON GUARD ONE (looks at Jayne) And what're you here for?
JAYNE (feral grin) In case they don't want savin'.
BOOK He's here for my protection.
PRISON GUARD ONE (indicates Book's briefcase) What's in the crate?
Book opens the top of the crate, revealing dozens of copies of The Bible stacked on top of one another.
BOOK Tools of the trade: Bibles, sacriments, holo tracts, the usual. (brightens) Would you boys like to hear a sermon?
The guards look uncomfortable at the notion of God talk.
PRISON GUARD ONE Just sign in at the desk and follow the blue arrows.
BOOK The Lord will remember your kindness.
PRISON GUARD ONE Whatever, move on.
JAYNE (whispered to Book) And we didn't even have to bribe him!
INT. ALLIANCE DETENTION CENTRE - DAY
The guard at the front desk looks up, then looks startled.
In walk Mal and Zoe, who've both raided Inara's wardrobe.
Mal looks resplendent in one of Inara's more elegant gowns, his face partially covered by a veil. He fans himself with a large lacy fan.
Zoe smiles as pleasantly and seductively as she can, but it's a stretch.
MAL (fake female falsetto) I'm here about one of my girls. Inara Serra? I understand she's in a peck of trouble.
GUARD She's wanted on charges of aiding and abetting known fugitives. That's more than a peck.
MAL (fake female falsetto) Who's the pecker? I mean, who're the fugitives?
EXT. OTHER FIREFLY TRANSPORT - DAY
Kaylee casually walks around it, inspecting its details. Some she seems impressed by, others she tsks. A less-than handsome young MECHANIC comes around the corner, glaring at her.
MECHANIC What're you looking at?
KAYLEE (coquettish) She's so fine! I've never seen an ought-nine with lateral gravametric stabilizers before. This is so shiny! You must be an amazing mechanic!
MECHANIC (proud) Those are my personal touches. (babbling) She's brand new, well, mostly new. Well, what's not new was reconditioned, but it's all under warranty, even with my mods. I - I - I do all the work myself, I'm a certified aerospace technician third class. I -
KAYLEE Can I see some more of your mods?
MECHANIC Uh, sure.
She takes his arm in hers and they walk off together talking shop.
Book and Jayne stroll down the hall in front of the cells, handing out Bibles to the prisoners.
BOOK May the power of God be with you. Look inside, and be free.
JAYNE (chuckles) Yeah, you got the whole world in your hands now.
A PRISONER who was handed a Bible shrugs and flips the pages. In the hollowed-out centre is a small handgun and six bullets. He smiles.
PRISONER (calling after Book and Jayne) Praise the Lord!
JAYNE (mutters; chuckling) And pass the ammunition.
Yolanda and Inara sit opposite ends of a bench, looking bored, annoyed and still a little upset at each other.
Inara wrinkles her nose.
INARA What is that smell?
YOLANDA (defensive) Shut up.
INARA It's like rotting food and -
YOLANDA (testy) Shut up!
Inara smirks. She's figured it out.
A Guard opens the door to their cell.
GUARD Visitors.
YOLANDA Visitors?
INARA Who?
GUARD Your Madam is here.
Inara and Yolanda look at each other, confused. The Guard steps away. Mal and Zoe walk in. Inara and Yolanda do their best to hide their amusement.
INARA Well, I certainly wasn't expecting to see you here - like this.
MAL (fake female falsetto) And I was not surprised to see you here. I always knew this would be where you'd end up. (to the guard) According to Guild Law, any Registered Companion who breaks out sacred standards of practice shall be tried by her peers first, then by the state. Do you have any idea what this [Chinese for harlot] has done? It's disgusting! She must be set an example of.
INARA (false contrition) I am so sorry, madame -
MAL (fake female falsetto) Mallory. (overacted disdain) Oh! I suppose those narcotics have addled your memory too.
GUARD Um, I have to check with my supervisor about this.
MAL (normal voice) You do that.
The guard does a double take.
GUARD Hey!
He pulls his gun. Zoe gets the drop on him and sends it flying, other guards rush in. There's a brief flurry of fists and feet.
The lighting turns red and an alarm starts blaring. The remaining guards run back to their station.
COMPUTER Riot in progress. Prison riot in progress on Level One. All available guards proceed to Level One.
INARA What's that?
MAL The word of God. Come on.
Mal, Zoe and Inara leave. Mal closes the door on Yolanda, who was about to follow them out.
YOLANDA Wait! Mal! Please! You can't leave me here!
MAL I believe I just did.
They walk away.
YOLANDA Look, I'm sorry for what I did, but I just can't go to prison. Do you have any idea what they'd do to me? (screams) [vulgar curse in Chinese]!
The Guards rush to their stations. There's a hurried nervous conversation on the radio. They look at Serenity.
GUARD TWO I think I know where they're headed.
GUARD THREE Lock it down then.
An explosion blows the doors open from the inside, sending everyone ducking for cover.
Jayne, Book, Mal, Zoe and Inara ride in the crate as it rolls down the ramp towards Serenity's waiting gangplank. Bullets bounce off the metal case.
Mal, Jayne and Zoe pop their heads up occasionally to fire off a shot. Some Guards fall, most just dodge out of the way.
The crate rolls up Serenity's ramp and the hatch closes. In seconds, she's in the air.
The Guards look astonished.
GUARD TWO I thought we'd land-locked them.
GUARD THREE We did. Locked on to their transponder code, locked. Look at the computer.
He hands him a portable display. It shows Serenity's ID with "LAND LOCK" flashing.
They watch as Serenity flies out of sight.
INT. OTHER FIREFLY TRANSPORT - DAY
The Captain yells on the radio while his Mechanic and Pilot try to get their ship moving. Outside, lights still flash and sirens still blare.
CAPTAIN I'm telling you lot, our license is in order. This is the Firebug class transport Perfection IV. We've got cargo to deliver. Why are you people [Chinese for screwing] with my livelihood?
Yolanda appears at the Captain's shoulder.
YOLANDA What's wrong dear?
CAPTAIN Oh, for some [Chinese for unbelievably stupid] reason, we're land-locked. We haven't done anything!
YOLANDA (sobs) It's me, isn't it?
CAPTAIN Oh, no, no no, sweetie, they don't even know you're here. It'll be fine, I'll make it all better, trust me. (to the radio) [Chinese for goddamn sons of bitches] let go of my ship!
INT. SERENITY'S COCKPIT - NIGHT
The planet is long gone, only the big black outside the window. Everyone except the Tams are here.
Kaylee pats a very shiny modern looking component, hardwired into Serenity's usual mess. It clearly doesn't belong.
MAL Nice work switchin' transponders on them.
KAYLEE Arrogant [Chinese for idiot] practically handed me the keys. (coquettish) Oh! Your ship is so shiny! What does this do again?
Everyone laughs.
MAL How'd the flock like their sermon, preacher?
BOOK I told them "The Lord shall set you free," and then He did. I expect my flock will be spreading the word for days now.
MAL Well, our client had a bonus shipment of small arms he was itching to unload, so we swapped. Easy come, easy go. Just as well, I don't think arms dealin' is my favourite flavour of crime. I prefer something a little fruitier.
BOOK By the time the Alliance gets the prison situation under control, no one will notice the missing records or warrants in the system, including yours.
JAYNE The Lord works in mysterious ways, don't He?
INARA Thank you, Preacher.
Inara kisses him sweetly on his cheek.
BOOK Just tending to my flock. Can't let the wolves have them before they's saved.
MAL (raises hand) I helped.
INARA Mal, I want to thank you. You know, this is probably the first time you have rescued me. Thank you.
She hugs him politely.
MAL Well, you bailed Zoe and Me out of Paradiso, so I expect that makes us sorta even. Although, if you don't mind, I'd like to keep the dress. I think it suits me.
WASH He's kidding, right?
ZOE I wish he were. I could tell you stories, but I'd rather take you to bed.
WASH Stories can wait. See ya! (salutes Mal) Sir...ma'am?
Zoe and Wash leave, arm in arm.
JAYNE I'll be in my bunk.
They look at Jayne.
JAYNE (CONT'D) Cleaning my gun! Sheesh you people got some trash between the ears.
Jayne leaves. Inara makes a significant eye hint to Kaylee. Kaylee takes Book's arm. He figures it out and leaves with her.
MAL Well then, I guess I'm minding the store for a while.
INARA I'll stay, if you don't mind the company.
She touches his shoulder. He smiles at her.
MAL Nothing I'd mind less.
END ACT FOUR
EPILOGUE
INT. SERENITY'S INFIRMARY - NIGHT
Simon attends to River. Jayne walks in.
JAYNE How she doing?
SIMON Not well, she's had a relapse. My guess is that the soldier being in physical contact with her before he died hit her hard. She's been calling your name in her sleep though.
Jayne smiles at this. He walks over and takes River's hand.
JAYNE Of course. We's -
River snaps awake and crab crawls away from him.
RIVER No, no, no, no, too close, too much, money's too much, cold, so cold.
He reaches to touch her and she flinches away. Simon holds her and calms her down.
JAYNE What the gorram Hell's crawled up your butt? Weren't hours ago we were sexin', now you don't wanna touch me at all? What the Sam Hill's wrong with you?
SIMON More than I could ever explain to you. More than you could ever understand.
JAYNE We shared brains. Her and me. I know the sweet spot where she likes to -
SIMON Get out!
Jayne is taken aback. He's not used to Simon being so assertive.
JAYNE Fine! Just stay the hell outta my head too! (mutters) Gorram nut job.
Jayne stalks away.
Simon kisses River on the head.
SIMON I'm sorry, mei mei. He didn't mean those things.
RIVER Yes he did. I miscalculated. One more variable I hadn't anticipated. Half life will be of some duration, I think.
Simon hasn't a clue. He processes what she said, then just closes his eyes and strokes her hair.
SIMON That's nice. (beat) I'm sure things'll calm down soon.
RIVER Always calm before major storm activity. And it's coming. It's always coming.
The shiny new Firefly ship has left. An unusual looking two person transport glides down to the landing path. Two BLUE HANDS step out and walk to the guard station.
They each hold up a picture of River and Simon and smile in a pleasantly reptilian way as the Guard peers at the photographs.
END OF EPILOGUE BLACK OUT
COMMENTS
Monday, October 18, 2004 9:36 AM
GOJIRO
Wednesday, May 23, 2007 3:35 PM
GMAJOR
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