What happened in the editing cut between the stand down order and the funeral? Josh and Mutant Enemy et al own the sand box, they just let us play here. Enjoy. A/N next day, Mal still doesn't know what the BDJ is.

Interludes IV

"Close your eyes ... don't need to look." Gray form, white form, fighting form. dance form. Just like the barre, flex stretch plie, jete. IT came creeping from the dark shadows of her brain.

NO, she fought back against IT. Open eyes! Must look! Must watch, can't slip into that black trance, just follow, practice, rehearse, not the time, must wait, follow... not the time for killing. Flash of electric blue light, agony in the brain pan [flashback] Kick to the midsection, again, again, spin kick to the head, again. blackness/agony, REPEAT kick kick spin kick blackness/agony. REPEAT kick kick spin kick blackness/agony. REPEAT Gun, gun ...going for gun, top of landing by entrance behind, [Simon's voice] blackness/agony.

Screen explodes, pain behind the eyes, shards of hologram scenes all different mine, not-mine, jumbled. Simon and River attacked by Independents using dinosaurs, cut off must resort to canibalism. Jayne wearing gos se Blue Sun shirt, counting reward money in his mind, looks better in red. Simon shot, need med kit for Kaylee, Reavers attacking, white form goes red ... just like practice, kill, no mercy, keep going. In the black only my heart beat and my breathing the black, clarity, quiet-in-the-brainpan, points of light/serenity/beauty like Kaylee laughing/Simon terrified, space sick/ beauty, freedom/like Inara sleeping, no dreams.

Blue Hands, needles in the brain/crying/must keep going/ punished if I don't finish. Gray form stops/white form stops/kaleidoscope stops spinning, pile of shards in the bottom of the brain pan, nausea, burning in the throat,nose, mouth. Arm around me, stranger, safe, no danger.

Walking slow. Know where I am know where I'm going- Serenity/serenity, Simon, family. pieces reforming, brain resets, moment of darkness, push way the stranger, no threat, discomfort. "I mean you no harm, Little Miss." "Liar. You mean to bring me back." Electronic whine of Vera charging, click of Zoe's mares leg chambering a round. “You won’t hurt me, just return me to those who will, so they can build your better world.” The Operative holds up his hands, "I mean her no harm; I mean none of you harm. Seems she decided to practice with be this morning and got sick, I was only helping her back here." Kaylee runs down the ramp to River who turns to take her short sword from the Operative, "tomorrow, then." "As you wish, Little Miss."

"Oh, one other thing." the operative continued, "I have filed my report with Parlaiment. And on my authority have temporarily cancelled all warrants against the ship and crew."

*****

Kaylee led River to the dining area and sat her down and got her some tea. The captain and Simon were in the infirmary with two Alliance men, one obviously a doctor. "Time to pay a debt," River said. Kaylee looked confused. River got up, went to the pantry and returned with a newly liberated bottle of whiskey, set it on the table with three glasses, sat on her chair, smiled at Kaylee and took the cup of tea. "You are both recovering well, doctor, Captain, I shall be back tomorow to check on you both again. If there are no unforseen complications you will be far enough on your way that in a few days I'll be able to release you, and allow Dr. Tam to see to your continued recovery.”

" And what about your guard," the captain asked, "you gonna be needing him every day?"

"Oh, no, Captain," the other purple belly smiled. "I'm not with the doc, not really. I just used him as an excuse to come visit." "Nobody leaves Serenity," River whispered in an aside loud just loud enough for everyone to hear. She had made her silent, barefooted way to the infirmary door The captain blanched and sat down on the bed, turned and asked River with a look what she meant. She may be crazy, and a killer, but it made sense to him, just not coming from her.

" So it seems." said the Alliance CPO. At least that's the consensus of my friends that were there." "And what about you? You there too," asked the captain. " No, I missed the Big Damned War by weeks. I had just entered basic training when the cease fire was announced. My brother, fought against you, retired soon after."

River grabbed Mal's arm and started tugging him. He looked at those big clear brown eyes that seemed to look through him to his soul. " Breakfast is ready, time to bury the dead on both sides. Not an enemy." The two left leaving River and Simon alone.

*****

River closed the door and took Simon's hand. "What is it, mei mei," he asked. "You want to keep me safe?" "Of course I do." "Even if things can't be quantified, can't add up, can't be justified?" " What are you saying, mei mei?" "You have to find out how to fix me so nobody can make me sleep again."

"I don't think ..." "No, you don’t. Serenity's broken, we're surrounded by Alliance troops, the Operative is still here, and the Blue hands can come at any minute. You know how to make me sleep. Do you think they don't? Simon, its the only way they can't take me back alive. You have to find a way to stop them from making me sleep.

*****

" Allow me to introduce myself. captain. My name is Lin Wu. My brother fought against you at Serenity Valley, Had/has some interesting theories about getting to know a man." "Please tell me they have nothing to do with Shan Yu." Wu laughed. "We are familiar with Shan Yu, but I am referring to an earth-that-was warrior who made similar observations but without the psychopathic tendencies. No, my brother said the best way to know your enemy is to make him mad, put his back to the wall and make him fight. He was very impressed with you Sergeant Reynolds. He also thinks he remembers toasting to Unification with you on Delta Moon."

"Seems we toasted to the dead on both sides once, sir" Zoe mentioned when the captain looked bemused. "Yes, my brother also mentioned a rather attractive private being there; also mentioned something about you owing him a bottle of whiskey and some cashey money."

River appeared at that moment by Mal who looked at her as she sat down in her chair. "Time to drink to everyone who never left Serenity," she smiled at him and slid the whiskey bottle toward him. Then she got up, grabbed Kaylee’s hand and together they headed down the stairs and out of the ship

*****

Yes, killing those Reavers, cutting Jayne with the kitchen knife, shooting the three men at Neska's skyplex, whatever happened with the bounty hunter, and River becoming Serenity creeped Kaylee out, scared her bad truth to tell. But then again, it was River she talked to about Simon and how big a boob he was, River who told her all the funny stories about growing up with Simon. River who snatched the apple out of her hand and ran off with it, played dinosaurs with Wash and jacks with her, basically became her best friend and her mei mei.

All the Alliance soldiers really scared her. While her Paw never actually sided with the Independents, he was quietly sympathetic to their cause. *Why all the armed partols, the body armor? Did they really consider the crew of Serenity a threat,* Kaylee wondered to herself.

"Ghosts escaped from the closet, creeping up from under the bed. Bed time stories to scare little ones now real, creeping into grown-up nightmares, threatening to take Christmas away" Diyu! She hated it when River answered her thoughts. Then switch, -not-crazy-River grabbed both her hands and hauled her dancing off to whatever music was in her head.

"I need you Kaylee, like flowers need the sun." Kaylee could only blush as red as the peonies she saw once in the market on Persephone. "Need a friend to teach me how to be a real girl, laugh, have fun, play. Know I'm broken, that they broke me, can never be fixed no matter what Simon does, can't rebuild what they cut out, not sure I/we/Simon can take out what they put in my brain. But I am a genius and I do know there's still a girl inside of me and you help that girl come out and grow.

" But Serrenity needs us now. Have to find all the parts that broke off. Cap'n’s hurt, depending on us now. And have a job to do, mischief to make." They stopped at the front of Serenity's Pilot section where several reaver lances were scattered. Kaylee shivered at the sight of them, remembering that one of them, or one like it killed Wash. River, being River, only stopped and bent down to them like she was smelling flowers, her hair falling around her face like a curtain.

*****

Night time, asleep, the whispers grow louder, can't sort them out. River wakes up, body check, mental sweep of Serenity, clear, safe. Focus on the voices, plotting ... scheming, like rats in the sewer scurrying in the darkness, Hands of Blue. Not here, not close, plotting, planning… Miranda. Miranda hurt them, turned a spotlight on them, cockroaches scurrying back into the shadows, backing off, regrouping, drop the warrants on the Tams, … false sense of security, spiders in the web wait patiently for the fly to fall in the trap. River could only smile, that evil little assassin smile. *Ain't no power in the 'verse can stop me.* Is it still a trap when the intended victim knows its a trap?

She got up quietly, no sense waking Simon, he'd only want to fill her with drugs to make her sleep. No escaping the nightmares when the drugs make you sleep. She got dressed and climbed out of the top hatch, the one Early used to access Serenity. Peaceful here, quieter, still see the stars, just her heartbeat, her breathing. not as quiet as being in the EVA suit, not as clear as the vacuum of space but peaceful, serenity/Serenity, Serenity Valley, THE BLACKNESS in Zoe's and Mal's hearts.

*****

IT snuck up on her while she was distracted, dropped a bell jar over her and trapped her. Trapped like she trapped fire flyies so long ago ... in her own body. IT took her body, River was powerless to control even her body. The terror, like a deep black lake, threatened to overwhelm her like a swimmer was overwhelmed by the water. IT forced her down the side of Serenity and across to one of the Reaver ships, one that landed, not one that crashed.

IT snuck her past the guards into the charnel house that was the inside. All River could do was stand there in her own mind pounding futilely against the walls of her prison and puke her mental guts out at the sights, smells and memories that flowed into her. Seems that, to River at least, the bulkheads did talk. IT brought her to the mass driver that was used to fire the crude harpoons. Seems the Shift foreman on Higgins Mon was right: with the right catalyst you could make clay 10 times tougher than steel, and with bits of steel imbedded on the surface, a mass driver worked perfectly well.

She hated IT, never heard it sneak up on her, hated that she was forced to watch as IT took the well formed, beautiful even, thoughts she made and caused gibberish to come out of her mouth. Hated as IT released her and disappeared into the shadows of her brain only to repeat the process laughing at her One day, she swore over and over, she'd track the slick bastard down and kill him/her. But it would not be now. Now it was only humming some idiotic melody and repeating "building,building, building, building, building a better world, we're off to be abuilding, building a better world. [Yes, Dorothy, off to see the Wizard]

Perhaps it would have been better after all if she had just let Simon drug her, now she could only sit and cry as her body was marched around the guards and into the generator room where Mal broadcast the Miranda recording. IT turned on the computer, linked onto the cortex and entered access codes she didn't know she knew. Restricted files came up showing the locations and orbits of all the Alliance monitoring stations and patrol schedules. Another command and password showed supply ship schedules and manifests. Her genius brain was trapped, not shut down. The sums started making sense, the math worked, mischief was afoot, crime in the air.

"Building a better world, Little Albatross, better worlds," IT murmured out loud in Mal’s voice. As creepifying as that was, IT then freed her and slipped back into the shadows even as the statement rattled around inside of her. Bad enough mentally puking … puking for real was much, much worse.

TBC