“I... I thought the hospital was home. I was really making a difference there...and embarrassingly large stacks of money, and... I could've... I would be there right now if she hadn't... If-if they had just left her alone.”

Kaylee stared down at the handsome young man asleep on the infirmary bed and brushed the hair back from his pale face, her fingers gentle. He’d been so brave last night, the way he’d stood up to Jubal Early. He'd kept his cool, found the courage to confront him, suffered a bullet in the leg as a result. But even that hadn't stopped him. He had been desperate. Desperate to save River.

She frowned, remembering how she had prompted him to say something positive about her. About them.

“I - I don’t even know if the captain would let us-”

He had almost touched her then. Almost kissed her. Would have, if the Shepherd hadn't come walking by right then. She had wanted it so bad, wanted to feel that mouth on hers, feel his hands on her. Had made no secret of wanting it ever since she saw him that first day, so handsome and aloof, looking like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. She sighed a little wistfully, for the way she had felt. Simon was a good man. Smart. Funny. Shy. Devoted. Just … she’d been fooling herself. He wasn’t ever gonna be her man. She knew that now. She leaned down and brushed her mouth against his, just so she’d know what his lips felt like. So she wouldn’t ever be tempted to wonder. Soft, a little dry. He didn’t stir, and she was glad.

Strong arms reached around her waist, pulled her back against a heavily muscled frame.

“You ‘bout done here?” Jayne growled in her ear. She leaned back, resting her head on his shoulder, turning her face up to him. Saw the possessiveness in his eyes, the hunger, and felt a delicious thrill of anticipation run up her spine.

Jayne. When he’d heard what had happened, the details, what Early had threatened to do to her, it was Jayne who had shadowed her all day. Watching. Waiting. Somehow just knowing. She’d pretended to be just fine, pretended that all was well that ended well, played silly games with River and tried to act normal, like it really was all just fine. Everyone else believed her. But Jayne had known different. At lunch, when the captain had asked her why she wasn’t in the engine room like usual, checking up on Serenity, it was Jayne who acted like he suddenly remembered she had asked him to help her with some part or another. Made it sound like it was his fault she wasn’t doing her job. Couldn’t do it.

“Yeah, I’m done here,” she took his hand and led him out of the infirmary. They weren’t more than two steps into the cargo area when he had to taste her again. His lips were soft, too, at first. But then he groaned, low and deep, and his mouth started making demands. Demands she met with a hunger as fierce as his own, not even noticing the way his beard scraped her skin a little. Liking it when she did notice. He lifted her up against him, and she melted onto him, wishing their clothes weren’t in the way, wishing she could crawl inside him and stay there. She needed to feel him against her again, wanted him deep inside her. When he pulled back, putting a whisper’s worth of distance between them, she whimpered.

“Dammit, Kaylee, ‘less you want me to take you right here-” Mood he was in, he’d do it, too.

She ran her hands up under his t-shirt, splayed her fingers through the hair on his chest, tugging a little, delighting in the way he sucked in his breath and jerked under her touch. He was so damned…responsive. She ran her tongue over her lips, tasting him on them. He watched her every move, eyes predatory, muscles a hair trigger away from pouncing.

“Who says I don’t want you to take me right here, hmmm?” she teased. He swallowed, hard, and backed her up against the wall.

“Much as I’d like that,” he framed her face between his hands and let his mouth hover over hers as he whispered, “I want you naked,” and nibbled her earlobe, breathed damply in her ear. “Under me,” his mouth moved down to her throat, nipping the skin there with his teeth, then licking it. “In my bed,” he pressed himself against her, letting her feel how hard she made him, letting her choose how it’d be. Knowing she needed to have the power to do that.

She hitched herself up, feeling him grab her bottom as she wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms clinging to his broad shoulders. “I can’t walk that far, my knees are too weak,” she nuzzled against his throat as he carried her swiftly across the dark cargo bay, and not once did she feel afraid of the shadows.

He had known, all day, that it was about power. How she felt like hers had been stolen, and how she needed it back. He had watched her today, and he had known. After lunch, when she’d still been pretending everything was just shiny, he’d followed her down to the door of the engine room and stood beside her while she hesitated.

“He ain’t in there,” he’d said, finally.

“But he was. He was, and he – ”

“Well, he ain’t now. He ain’t coming back, neither. Nor anybody else you don’t want to come in here.”

He’d shown her how to set up a system of mirrors so she could see if anyone was outside, or inside where they shouldn’t be. Shown her how to rig up an alarm and how to wire it from several different places, so no matter where she was, she could get to it in no time flat. He was good at it, too, knew exactly what he was doing, and exactly what she needed to feel safe. He'd acted like it was all perfectly normal, and didn’t make her feel foolish for being scared. After a bit, she'd relaxed and started tinkering with the engine. He'd stayed until she was finished.

“You think you can go back in there by yourself, now?” he’d asked as they walked down the corridor back to the dining area.

“I - I don’t know. Maybe.” She wasn’t gonna lie to him.

“Might take a few days,” he had agreed matter-of-factly. She’d appreciated that, his making everything seem all ordinary. Like he knew, somehow, exactly what she was feeling. He’d kept a little distance from her, after that, leaving her in the mess with Book, since it was their turn to cook that night. Later, at the dinner table, she had felt his eyes on her, but when she looked at him he was either staring down at his food or making some remark to the captain or Zoe. No one seemed to notice anything amiss. River had taken her food into the infirmary and watched over her brother. He was feeling better, but he wasn’t as strong as the captain or Jayne. Couldn’t shake off a bullet wound the way they did, and wasn’t ashamed to take a smoother when the pain got more than he could stand.

It was Jayne’s turn to do the washing up, but when the Shepherd had made a move to help him, he'd jerked his head in her direction and Book had taken the hint. He'd kept her company while the others played cards. Everyone eventually had started turning in for the night, making their rounds, finishing up their chores, checking on Simon. She hadn’t, though. The thought of being alone in her bunk had scared her. Last night had been okay; she’d been so relieved that everything had turned out the way it did that she’d been able to doze the few hours until morning. But she’d had all day to think about it, and she hadn’t wanted to be alone in her bunk.

And he’d known that, too. Had been standing outside her bunk, waiting on her, hair still damp from his shower. As she got closer to him, he’d said, real quiet-like,

“I’ll sleep on the floor.”

She’d nodded. He had made it so easy. She had taken his hand and followed him down the ladder. He hadn’t said another word, just accepted the quilt she’d given him and put it between her and the door. Turned over on it and went to sleep. She’d listened to the steady sound of his breathing and felt safe. She’d wondered, again, how he just seemed to know what she needed. Then it'd hit her. Only way a person could know that for sure was if they’d been through the same thing. She'd thought on that awhile, had still been thinking on it when her eyes got heavy and she'd drifted off to sleep.

But Jayne hadn't been able to keep her safe from her dreams. They had twisted and blurred, shadows and sounds that weren't right, out of focus, and then the bounty hunter was behind her again, holding her, breathing those horrible things into her ear, making her not safe, not sacred, not right. In the dream, he did more than tie her up and threaten her. He started to put his hands on her and choke her, and she couldn’t scream – couldn’t see – couldn’t get him off her. Then her dream-self remembered the alarm - if she could just get to it - and then she did, and then she could scream and hit him and get away and run and keep running-

And then Jayne had been there on the bed beside her, scooping her over onto his lap, cuddling her close and rocking her, shushing her. At first his words hadn’t make any sense, but his body did. Warm and strong and safe. And then she’d listened to the words, repeated over and over, like an incantation, “It’s okay, Kaylee, it’s okay. Shhh, now. Not gonna let anyone hurt you, bao bei. I promise. Not gonna leave you, no matter what. You hear me? You don’t have to be afraid, dong ma?”

“You mean it?” she’d asked, needing the reassurance. Needing. He’d answered the only way he knew how, the only way to make her believe him, and make it all right again. With his body. His touch. At first just rubbing her arms and pulling her close to him, hugging her tight until she stopped shaking. Then his mouth had been on her cheeks, sipping the tears away. She’d turned to him, seeking that tenderness, seeking his mouth. The first kiss had been full of questions. She couldn’t quite believe that this was Jayne, and he was the only one who knew how to make her feel safe. Knew what she needed. The second kiss had held answers. This was Jayne, who had watched her and waited for her and knew her better than anyone else, knew exactly what she needed, and he wanted her. Had always wanted her. Would always want her. He'd murmured these things against her throat, hoarse with need.

If she had pulled away, he would have stopped. Gone back to sleep on the quilt and never mentioned it again.

But Kaylee hadn’t pulled away. She had looked into his eyes, and found the promise hiding behind the lust. The promise that she mattered to him. She did. More than anything. And her heart had jumped a little, her world tilted a little sideways. She hadn’t known. She’d kissed him back, her lips clinging to his, her tongue stroking his, and had felt the shudder that went through his large frame. Jayne Cobb had been shaking in her arms. Because of her. And that’d made Kaylee feel like the most powerful woman in the ‘verse.

Powerful enough to go see Simon and say her silent goodbye to what could never have been. She had needed to do that, before she said hello to the future.

The future that had her wrapped tight in his arms right now, breathing words of lust and love against her creamy skin, telling her how beautiful she was, how good she felt, how tight, how hot, how long he had been wanting her, needing her, pulling her nipples in to his hungry mouth, filling her with every thrust of his cock, claiming her as his own. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and claimed him right back, scored his back with her nails, marked his neck with her teeth, matching him thrust for thrust until her toes curled and she felt her body shaking as wave after wave of release hit her, pulled him even deeper into her. And oh, the letting go felt like coming home, this time. He kept moving, his head tucked into that sweet place between her neck and shoulder, his breath panting in her ear, and then he groaned her name, deep in his chest, before he stiffened and pushed into her as far as he could go, raising his head and looking straight into her eyes as he came. Her hands gentled him, then, loving his strength, his sweat, his body, him. She wanted to feel all his weight on top of her, but he held himself on his elbows, afraid he’d crush her. He kissed her, hard and deep and satisfying, and his eyes smiled into hers. She pushed up on him and he obligingly rolled over, so she could use him for a pillow. They were quiet, catching their breaths, limbs entwining and sliding until they found a comfortable position, snuggled close.

A thought struck her, unwelcome.

“Don’t think the Cap’n’s gonna like this much,” she murmured sleepily.

“I reckon he’ll get over it,” he murmured back. She felt him smile that wicked smile of his against her temple and tighten his arms around her. Smiled back because she knew a secret.

Neither of them was scared anymore.